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1'''As a Moments subpage, all spoilers are unmarked [[Administrivia/SpoilersOff as per policy.]] Administrivia/YouHaveBeenWarned.'''
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3[[foldercontrol]]
4[[folder:General/Unsorted]]
5* Any time someone talks about Christopher in a less than pleasant manner, you ''will'' laugh until your sides hurt (and it's not like this is a comedy series, y'know). Christopher has been referred to as a "constipated owl" and "the only guy who can smoke a cigarette in the rain".
6* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H7gyR6QiUgU Pretty much everything involving Paulie Walnuts]]. PsychopathicManchild and HeroicComedicSociopath, [[RefugeInAudacity all in one]].
7* Junior also got funnier as the series progressed and his dementia worsened.
8* The numerous malapropisms (see main), particularly the ones from Little Carmine aka Brainless the Second, who juxtaposes "The sacred and the propane".
9* Real-world example: [[http://www.popoptiq.com/its-not-tv-hbo-the-company-that-changed-television-golden-age-part-3/ According to an ex-HBO employee]], people were calling them and complaining that "[[AnyoneCanDie not enough people are getting whacked]]". [[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer That's exactly what they said.]]
10* Creator/JamieLynnSigler had no idea the show was about mobsters when she first auditioned. Since she's a talented singer, she thought she was auditioning for a show about opera.
11* [[Film/TheGodfatherPartIII "Just when I thought I was out, they pulled me back in."]]
12* During the 2019 reunion special Michael Imperioli revealed that he and James Gandolfini were both completely drunk during the scene where [[spoiler: Christopher and Tony were disposing of Ralph's body]] and needed to be discretely tied so that they wouldn't fall off the cliff.
13* ''The Sopranos Family Cookbook: As Compiled by Artie Bucco'' is an InUniverse cookbook. Apparently, Artie decided to write a cookbook (and Tony graciously slapped his name on the cover), and he decided to interview every mobster he knew about food. Highlights include:
14** Janice's chapter basically ripping off Livia's recipes and passing them as her own.
15** When Artie gets to Adriana's chapter and none too subtly gushes over her beauty.
16** Christopher ranking food scenes in movies and putting his own unreleased screenplay on the top 10.
17** Bobby Bacala giving tips for "heavy eaters".
18** Artie, by divine coincidence, stumbles on a paper Melfi and Richard La Penna wrote on Italian food. It says: "Of all the subjects, 98% strongly agreed with the statement: 'I like food.'"
19** Artie mentions the dangers of eating too much red meat, and shares Junior's tips to living long. Unfortunately, he chose to interpret the question wrong and shared tips like "kick the shit out of the other guy before he kicks you".
20[[/folder]]
21
22[[folder:Season 1]]
23* Tony begins to confess to Carmela that he's seeing a psychiatrist. Expecting to be told about some of his debaucheries, she first gets ready to throw him the cup of wine to his face, but then she finds the news about therapy wonderful and reacts with marvel, to which Tony retorts annoyed: "You would think I was Hannibal ''Lecture'' before or something".
24* After Jackie's death is announced on TV, one of the dancers at the Bada Bing, with her breasts bare on the podium, lightens up the morbid situation with this gem:
25-->'''Dancer:''' I'll never forget where I was this day.
26* The episode "[[Recap/TheSopranosS1E10AHitIsAHit A Hit is a Hit]]", especially when Tony relates his John Gotti ice cream story.
27** Not to mention his "Jimmy Smash" tale. Along with impressions where appropriate.
28* Brendan's bungled hijacking, especially Brendan's reaction when the driver accidentally gets shot.
29* Junior: "Did you hear about the Chinese Godfather? He made them an offer they couldn't understand."
30* [[CarFu "We had coffee"]]
31* Dr. Melfi [[AccidentalMisnaming accidentally referring to Pussy as "Booty"]] during a session with Tony.
32** It's doubly amusing because Pussy's nickname isn't meant to be sexual like Melfi assumes. It's short for "Pussy Cat," which he garnered when he was a cat burglar in his youth.
33* Pussy grumbles while playing hearts: "I've eaten more queens than Lancelot."
34* Melfi asks if RICO (Racketeer Influenced and Corrupt Organizations Act) is Tony's brother when Tony brings up his job dissatisfaction.
35* Chris walking in right after the crew learns that Jackie Sr. died, ranting about Junior's crew. He suggests going "Scarface, final scene, fuckin' bazookas under each arm". His other piece of advice?
36-->'''Christopher:''' I say we go to DEFCON 4. [[note]] DEFCON 4 is the second lowest readiness condition. [[/note]]
37* Tony confronts the Trinidadian housekeeper he hired to look after his mother, as she seems too "happy" for his tastes.
38-->'''Tony:''' Listen. Let's get one thing straight. In the hours you're here takin' care of my mother, no ganja, okay?
39* Christopher becomes incensed at the imagined slight by the bakery clerk who keeps him waiting, pulling a gun on him and making him load a box with pastries. The following is a darkly hilarious ActorAllusion referencing Creator/MichaelImperioli's famous scene from ''Film/GoodFellas'':
40-->'''Christopher:''' Next time you see my face, show some respect.\
41'''Store Clerk:''' I will.\
42''[Christopher shoots him]''\
43'''Store Clerk:''' You motherfucker! -- You shot my foot!\
44'''Christopher:''' It happens.
45* Carmela finds out about Uncle Junior's proclivity towards oral sex, and chooses the next family dinner to {{troll}} him mercilessly about it, without Junior or anyone else the wiser.
46-->'''Tony:''' Uncle Jun', how was Boca?\
47'''Junior:''' Wonderful! [[DoubleEntendre I don't go down enough]].\
48'''Carmela:''' ''[with a smirk]'' That's not what I heard...\
49''[beat]''\
50'''Junior:''' About what?\
51'''Carmela:''' ''[still smirking]'' Nothing, sorry. I don't know what I'm talking about.\
52'''Junior:''' ''[responding to a disparaging remark Livia makes about his girlfriend]'' Bobbi's a sweet, ''sweet'' girl!\
53''[Carmela stifles laughter]''\
54'''Tony:''' What the hell's the matter with you?\
55'''Junior:''' What did I say?\
56''[Tony shrugs]''\
57'''Junior:''' This wife of yours. She's got the giggles.
58* Possibly the greatest line in TV history:
59-->'''Tony:''' [[ItMakesSenseInContext Cunnilingus and psychiatry have brought us to this]].
60* In "[[Recap/TheSopranosS1E8TheLegendOfTennesseeMoltisanti The Legend of Tennessee Moltisanti]]", A.J. is unconcerned about the FBI raiding the house until Meadow points out that they'll find the porn he downloaded.
61** There is something chuckle-worthy about how Chris, when describing his issues at Tony's prodding, almost sounds like he's reading off a list of symptoms of depression...and worries he has ''cancer'' instead.
62** The dinner scene from this episode is very funny, as the family brings up Italian-American factoids. AJ brings up Sacco and Vanzetti and calls them antichrists instead of anarchists. Meadow's response is: [[SkewedPriorities "How can there be two antichrists? There was only one Christ."]].
63* In "[[Recap/TheSopranosS1E10AHitIsAHit A Hit Is A Hit]]", Christopher briefly is in disbelief of a singer's vocal disdain for Music/TheBeatles.
64-->'''Christopher:''' What is he, nuts!?
65* After the hit on Tony fails AJ and his date [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=34stHmuf1Ws have to be chaperoned to the school formal by Silvio and Paulie]].
66* Paulie getting a faceful of poison ivy while chasing down Mikey, and repeatedly interrupting Christopher’s attempts at a PreMortemOneLiner. According to a psychic the next season, Mikey is still laughing about it in the afterlife.
67* Mikey Palmice and his wife's [[SarcasmMode delicate and loving banter]] is always a hoot to hear.
68-->''[[BlatantLies His last words to me were "I love you.]]"''
69[[/folder]]
70
71[[folder:Season 2]]
72* Tony goes to a new shrink and claims that waste management is his line of work. The guy is GenreSavvy, rejects the complicated mobster, and points out he has seen ''Film/AnalyzeThis''. Tony unsuccessfully tries to argue that the movie was [[WrongGenreSavvy a fucking comedy]].
73* Paulie, when Tony finds out Don Zi Vittorio, the man he wanted to make a deal with in Italy is senile:
74-->'''Paulie:''' Ton, you give this guy a golf club, he'll probably try to fuck it.
75* When Dr. Melfi waves to Tony while he's having dinner with his cronies, Big Pussy takes a moment to comment on the quality of what he assumes is yet another of Tony's amorous conquests.
76-->'''Pussy:''' She had nice, pipe-fitter lips. No disrespect.\
77'''Tony:''' Hey, what do I give a fuck? I hardly know her.\
78'''Silvio:''' You mean you would take the lips ... over the tits?\
79'''Pussy:''' Trust me, my boy. There's two things I'm good at. That's pulling dents, and spottin' good blow jobs. And that sweetie had world-class blowjob lips.
80* Tony's brief dream in "[[Recap/TheSopranosS2E4Commendatori Commendatori]]" where he is banging Annalisa while dressed as a Roman general.
81* Tony still isn't on talking terms with Melfi, so he finds the next best thing... Hesh. The result is OneSceneTwoMonologues, with Tony and Hesh ranting about their life to each other.
82* Silvio flips [[LawofDisproportionateResponse out]] when Matthew Bevilaqua tries to sweep up the crumbs beneath his seat in "[[Recap/TheSopranosS2E6TheHappyWanderer The Happy Wanderer]]". [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NyT94FvvIQc It's pretty epic]].
83* Sean and Matt's assassination attempt on Christopher is hilariously inept, Matt's encouragement to Sean while bouncing in anticipation only seals the deal.
84-->'''Matt:''' Get that motherfucker!.
85* The ending of "[[Recap/TheSopranosS2E10BustOut Bust Out]]", which is depicted as a heartwarming bonding moment between Tony and A.J. on the boat, except they unwittingly knock over two guys in a smaller boat as they pass by.
86* The scene where Richie Aprile has a truckload of garbage dumped in the parking lot of a deli, simply because the owner complained about missed pick-ups. The owner's reactions are priceless.
87-->'''Iranian Deli Owner:''' You are speaking shit to me!
88* A.J. takes the car for a joyride and gets away with it...[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JhIz6V8tvNk with existentialism.]] Tony and Carmela are so confused that they just give up and send him to his room.
89* Junior tries to tell a joke to Bobby Baccala, who doesn't get it:
90-->'''Junior:''' Chinaman goes to see the eye doctor. After the exam, the doctor says "I know why you're having trouble". The Chinaman says, "Why?". The doctor says, "You have a cataract". Chinaman says, "No, I have a 'Rincoln' Continental".\
91''[Bobby stares blankly]''\
92'''Junior:''' You don't get it?\
93'''Bobby:''' ''[shrugs]'' I get it; he drives a Lincoln.
94* Tony is incensed at Richie Aprile's crippling of Beansie Gaeta, and sends Paulie and Silvio to strongly recommend to Richie that he make amends by paying to make Beansie's home wheelchair accessible.
95-->'''Paulie:''' Richie, hey, you're gonna build Beansie a ramp.\
96'''Richie:''' I'll build a ramp up to your ass. Drive a Lionel up in there.
97** Beansie's ramp soon becomes a disaster of epic proportions, as the whole crime family slowly gets drafted in the effort. Richie sends Vito and his crew, who only manage to wreck the house. Later, Christopher is talking to the phone. [[RuleOfThree "I'm supposed to go all the way over there to check on a fucking ramp?"]]
98* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UHvUDYKrFmw IT'S THE JACKEEEEEETTTTT]]
99* Uncle Jun, remembering the "golden age" of the Mafia through somewhat rose-colored glasses, suggests to Tony that his feud with Richie doesn't necessarily have to end in bloodshed. Tony snarkily disagrees.
100-->'''Junior:''' Even rival families settled their differences amicably.\
101'''Tony:''' Oh yeah, I remember that picture of Albert Anastasia lying there all "amicable" on the barbershop floor.
102* A hard day at the office: the mobsters [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UhrBrIQSWjo doing absolutely nothing]].
103* Paulie visiting a psychic is hilarious. Especially when the guy seems to be in contact with Paulie's victims:
104-->'''Psychic:''' Poison ivy? He wants to know if it still itches?\
105'''Paulie:''' Don't fuck with me! Who you been talkin' to?
106* Tony finds out that Richie Aprile is going to finally make his move to take Tony out permanently. Tony asks Silvio for advice on the matter, and the trusted consigliere responds with his usual dark pragmatism:
107-->'''Silvio:''' I genuinely don't think ... there's anything to gain by keeping him around.
108* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-YHzJ_eCRQY Richie tries to enlist the Bareses for the coup]], only to be cock-blocked by Albert in his unique way, [[StopCopyingMe repeating almost every phrase back at a bewildered Richie]], and then this one.
109-->'''Albert:''' Larry's got a trial coming. He's in no position to go into the unknown not knowing.
110* Tony finally arrives to kill Richie, only to find out Janice has already done it for totally unrelated reasons, causing a priceless "Well... this fixes a lot of problems" expression.
111* "[[Recap/TheSopranosS2E13Funhouse Funhouse]]"
112** The stock farting sound effects for Tony's food poisoning. Even in such a dark and complex show, it is not above such ToiletHumor.
113** The fever dream where Tony is in Dr. Melfi's office with a tank top and a raging boner. Tony immediately points out that he knows he's in a dream but goes along with it, and both then confess feelings of sexual attraction to each other and make love on a desk.
114** In another fever dream, Tony notices Silvio sliding next to him like he's on a conveyor belt, quote ''Film/TheGodfatherPartIII'' to him, then sliding away. Tony then has the goofiest grin on his face in response.
115--->'''Silvio:''' Our true enemy! Has yet! To reveal himself!
116** In the last fever dream, Tony is speaking to Pussy, who is in the body of a talking fish.
117--->'''Fish!Pussy:''' Ay, Ton! How's it going?\
118'''Tony:''' You didn't get sick?\
119'''Fish!Pussy:''' Nah.\
120'''Tony:''' How much you weigh?\
121'''Fish!Pussy:''' Eight pounds.\
122'''Tony:''' Lost a lot of weight.\
123'''Fish!Pussy:''' Swimmin'! The best exercise; works every muscle group.\
124'''Tony:''' Get the fuck outta here, you never exercised once in your life.\
125'''Fish!Pussy:''' Anyway... Four dollars a pound.\
126''({{Beat}})''\
127'''Fish!Pussy:''' [[MoodWhiplash You know I've been working with the government, right Ton?]]
128* This exchange during the meeting between Tony and Dick Barone vs. Richie Aprile, Jackie Jr., and Albert Barese:
129-->'''Jackie Jr.:''' [[DelusionsOfEloquence My uncle is just asking for what my father would've given him if he was boss when Richie got out of prison. And it had nothing to do that they were brothers, he respected my father and he respected Richie.]]\
130'''Tony:''' [[StealthInsult Those who want respect, give respect]].\
131'''Richie:''' (''turns to Jackie Jr.'') [[LampshadeHanging See, he just told you to shut the fuck up, and he told me to go fuck myself.]]
132[[/folder]]
133
134[[folder:Season 3]]
135* All [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mJPxdB94V_g the scenes]] involving Big Mouth Billy Bass and Tony's, *ahem*, issues with it. Then on Christmas day he opens Meadow's gift, and finds she has bought him... a Big Mouth Billy Bass.
136* Silvio getting angry over missing the Jets' first home game for Livia's funeral, while Chris, Adriana, and Furio all do drugs to help them get through the event.
137* In "[[Recap/TheSopranosS3E5AnotherToothpick Another Toothpick]]", Tony and Carmela have their first joint therapy session with Dr. Melfi. It does not go well.
138-->'''Carmela:''' Right, just sit there silence, anger. Then you pass out and you blame the rest of the fucking world.\
139'''Tony:''' Yeah, I love you too.\
140'''Dr. Melfi:''' You're both very angry.\
141'''Tony:''' You must've been in the top of your fucking class.
142* After Janice steals Svetlana's prosthetic leg, Svetlana angrily curses about Janice in Russian, calling her a "[[ReallyGetsAround slut]] [[FatBitch sow]]".
143** Svetlana retaliates by hiring two [[TheMafiya Russian thugs]] to force Janice to return the leg. Seeing one of them punch Janice is both amusing and [[LaserGuidedKarma satisfying]].
144*** Eventually, Tony himself avenges this incident by beating up the Russian goon who hit Janice. Afterward, Tony places the unconscious Russian in a Christmas store display.
145* And Janice's narcoleptic religious boyfriend Aaron: "Have you heard the good news? He is risen." [[{{Sleepyhead}} *falls asleep*]]
146** Or when he comes to Carmela's birthday party, and Tony tries to offer him champagne.
147--->'''Aaron:''' No champagne for me. The good Lord doesn't want us to drink alcohol.\
148'''Tony:''' Didn't Jesus drink wine?\
149'''Janice:''' Yeah, but...he was ''Jesus'', Ton. We can't compare.
150* Christopher's [[InnocentlyInsensitive drug-fueled eulogy]] at Livia's wake in "[[Recap/TheSopranosS3E2ProshaiLivushka Proshai Livushka]]".
151* All the effort the FBI put into bugging a lamp in Tony's house... and Meadow just picks it up and takes it to her dorm. The FBI agents' faces are priceless.
152* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tqwaPyQyE54 Tony's vs Meadow's boyfriend]] [[TwoferTokenMinority Noah Tannenbaum]]:
153** All starts badly, with Tony finding Meadow barefoot and Noah coming out of Tony's bathroom, too much familiarity for starters.
154** Upon learning Noah's family was in the show business, Tony inquires "those old Tarzan movies?"
155** It goes downhill once it's established that Noah is African-American.
156-->'''Tony:''' So you are a ditsoon... charcoal briquette, a mulignan...
157** Shortly after, Tony goes to the kitchen, eats anxiously, finds an "Uncle Ben's" box, and... seeing the face of a black man makes him pass out, having a fall by racism. The scene starts with him on the floor at the end, then rewinds.
158** Talking later with Carmela, he nicknames Noah "Jamal Ginsberg the Hassidic Homeboy", AKA the Oreo Cookie.
159* AJ's stupidity reaches new heights in "[[Recap/TheSopranosS3E9TheTelltaleMoozadell The Telltale Moozadell]]", where he gets fingered vandalizing the school by...a pizza box.
160** This is one of the few crimes the police solve, by the way. Props to the cops who had to track down the ''custom'' pizza.
161** For his punishment, he gets told to clean the gutters. He has no idea what gutters are. Tony tells him to cut the crap before he realizes that AJ [[TooDumbToLive genuinely has no idea what gutters are.]]
162* "'''''[[SeriousBusiness Don't disrespect the pizza parlor!]]'''''"
163* When [[FatComicRelief Bobby and Vito]] are standing next to each other, Paulie remarks:
164-->"Look at this, it's like an ad for a fuckin' weight loss center! Before...and ''way before''!"
165* Ralphie. '''[[Film/{{Gladiator}} "I HAVE COME TO RECLAIM ROME FOR MY PEOPLE!"]]'''
166* Gigi Cestone passing away [[TheCanKickedHim while taking a shit]]. CrossesTheLineTwice at its finest.
167* All of "[[Recap/TheSopranosS3E11PineBarrens Pine Barrens]]", especially this gem:
168-->'''Christopher:''' For all we know he could be out there stalking us.\
169'''Paulie:''' With what? His cock?
170** And lest we forget:
171--->'''Tony:''' The guy you're looking for is an ex-commando. He killed 16 Chechen rebels single-handed.\
172'''Paulie:''' Get the fuck outta here.\
173'''Tony:''' Yeah, nice, huh? He was with the interior ministry. Guy's some kind of Russian green beret. This guy cannot come back to tell this story, you understand?\
174'''Paulie:''' Ton'? Ton', you there?\
175'''Tony:''' Goddamn-- fuck! Call me back!\
176'''Paulie:''' ''[to Christopher]'' You're not gonna believe this. He killed 16 Czechoslovakians! Guy was an interior decorator!\
177''[beat]''\
178'''Christopher:''' His house looked like shit!
179** Paulie and Christopher discuss the Cuban Missile Crisis:
180--->'''Paulie:''' How about the Cuban Missile Crisis? Cocksuckers moved nuclear warheads into Cuba, pointed 'em right at us.\
181'''Christopher:''' That was real? I saw [[Film/ThirteenDays that movie]]. I thought it was bullshit.
182** Christopher calls Paulie a "one-shoe cocksucker" during their argument, and when Paulie tries to pull rank:
183--->'''Chris: ''' Fuck you, Paulie! Captain or no captain, right now we’re just two assholes lost in the woods.
184** There is also Gloria and Tony's argument when Tony has to leave to bail Paulie and Chris out of their predicament. Gloria throws a hissy fit at Tony and ends up throwing the meal that she made for him, a large steak, at his head. Tony looks around, initially pissed off but then he suppresses a smile, almost laughing at the absurdity of the situation.
185** When Bobby arrives in his hunting gear, Tony just bursts out laughing.
186* Furio gets treated by a real "prick doctor": "While you're here maybe he can give you a bulge" and "Doc, see if you can remove this ladies underwear".
187* With Big Pussy gone, the mobsters are short one Santa Claus for Christmas at Satriale's. Everybody turns to look at Tony, the largest guy in the room. He's having none of it.
188* One kid revolting against "Bobby Claus": [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TwTRgDx7xJwhttp "Fuck You Santa!"]]
189* When Jackie and his friends rob Eugene's card game, Furio gets shot in the thigh and starts swearing. That by itself isn't funny. What is funny is that after Chris and Albert gun down Dino in the street, a car with the rest of the mobsters pulls up, and as they get in, you can hear Furio [[BrickJoke still swearing]].
190* Tony confronts Paulie over invading Christopher's apartment for a late-night "inspection" and taking liberties with Adriana's unmentionables.
191-->'''Tony:''' Did you sniff that girl's panties?\
192'''Paulie:''' He told you that? Fucking baby!\
193'''Tony:''' You got to apologize.\
194'''Paulie:''' T, I'm not apologizing to him.\
195'''Tony:''' You were out of line. He's gonna marry the girl, for Christ's sake.\
196'''Paulie:''' As of the wedding day, anything that touches her pussy is off-limits.
197* During the inspection, Paulie takes some shoes that Christopher stole for Adriana, but they didn't fit her, as they were Size 10 and Adriana was 8 and a half. Later on, Paulie and Chris meet:
198-->'''Chris:''' You want more shoes, what? \
199'''Paulie:''' No. Funny thing is, they don't even fit her. [[BrickJoke I don't know why I thought she was a size 10.]]
200
201* Paulie Walnuts and Ralph Cifaretto interacting is comedy gold.
202-->'''Paulie:''' You're late.\
203'''Ralph:''' Well tomorrow I can be on time, but you'll be stupid forever.
204* Charmaine Bucco, who despises the idea of mobsters frequenting her and Artie's restaurant, takes the opportunity to troll the hell out of them, even as they lust after her hot new look.
205-->'''Tony:''' It's the miracle of Christmas.\
206'''Paulie:''' Next the blind will see, and the lame will walk!\
207'''Charmaine:''' So, how is everything here so far, tonight?\
208'''Paulie:''' Much better now that we've cast our glims on you, sweetheart.\
209'''Tony:''' How you doin', 'mainy?\
210'''Charmaine:''' Fine, Tony-oni. Listen -- I thought you'd wanna know: those two guys over there, at that table yeah? I think they're FBI.\
211''[Tony, Paulie, and Silvio react nervously]''\
212'''Charmaine:''' ''[giggling]'' I'm kidding. I'm kidding, enjoy!\
213'''Silvio''' ''[to Artie]'' Your wife, her ass may be improved Artie, but--\
214'''Tony:''' Hey, hey, hey, come on, Sil.\
215'''Silvio:''' She's over here joking about the FBI. Since when is that funny?
216* In the end of "[[Recap/TheSopranosS3E13ArmyOfOne Army Of One]]", when Meadow threw something at Junior while he's singing, she sings [[Music/BritneySpears "Oops, I Did it Again"]] and then suddenly ran out after Tony turns around at her.
217** Junior and Bobby Baccialeri arrive late at Jackie Jr.'s funeral and swiftly discover the FBI is there arresting people. The elderly Uncle Jun beats a hasty retreat, jumping back into the car, nearly abandoning Bobby:
218--->'''Junior:''' Jesus Christ, you told me 11:00!\
219'''Bobby:''' I'm sorry!\
220'''Junior:''' "Sorry!", that's all I hear!\
221'''Bobby:''' Junior, look!\
222''[Silvio and Christopher are being herded into FBI cars; Junior runs back to his and guns the engine]''\
223'''Bobby:''' Junior! Junior, don't leave me!\
224''[Junior stops, Bobby hops in]''
225* Tony sees his friend, the "prick doctor", advertising penile enhancement surgery on TV. He says, "Imagine! Needing an operation like that!" Carmela side-eyes him and walks away, and Tony's face changes from joking to concerned.
226* Janice and her narcoleptic boyfriend shilling their music at Jackie's funeral parlor.
227* Carmela, in the front of the house, is secretly appointing a meeting with a counselor to deal with her crisis... then comes Tony, exiting from the house, in his bathrobe, looking for her to complain about his orange juice. He likes the one with ''some'' pulp. [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ADrZn6BRTas He gets a telephone thrown at him for his troubles]].
228[[/folder]]
229
230[[folder:Season 4]]
231* When discussing 9/11, [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mi22suEHQfs Bobby mixes-up Quasimodo and Nostradamus]]. Tony with his usual annoyance and [[SurroundedByIdiots growing exasperation]], corrects Bobby, while Bobby reminds candid at it, producing a memorably surreal conversation.
232-->'''Bobby:'''You know, Quasimodo predicted all this\
233'''Tony:''' Who did ''what''?\
234'''Bobby:''' All these problems—the Middle East, the end of the world.\
235'''Tony:''' ''(shaking his head, like a teacher correcting a very errant student)'' '''''UsefulNotes/{{Nostradamus}}'''''. Quasimodo's the [[Literature/TheHunchbackOfNotreDame Hunchback of Notre Dame]].\
236'''Bobby:''' Oh right. ''Notre Damus''.\
237'''Tony:''' Nostradamus, and Notre Dame. Two different things completely.
238-->'''Bobby:''' ''(unabated)'' It's interesting, though, they'd be so similar, isn't it? And I always thought, ok, hunchback of Notre Dame, you also got your quarterback and your halfback of Notre Dame... \
239'''Tony:''' ''(exasperated)'' One's a fucking cathedral.\
240'''Bobby:''' ''(unfaced)'' Obviously. I know, I'm just saying. It's interesting, the coincidence. What, you're gonna tell me you never pondered that? The back thing with Notre Dame?\
241 '''Tony''' No!\
242''[[{{Beat}} (they keep eating)]]''
243* Tony grills his capos for their lack of entrepreneurship. When the turn of [[TheEchoer Albert Barese]] comes, [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j_YV2N7RTbk parakeeting ensues]]
244-->'''Albert:''' It petered out\
245'''Tony:''' It petered out\
246'''Albert:''' It died on the vine\
247'''Tony:''' It died on the vine\
248'''Albert:''' It died on the vine... the guy, he moved or something.
249* Ralph's infamous joke about Ginny Sacramoni's weight, saying that she recently "got a 90-pound mole removed from her ass".
250** [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QiK-UQDK-M0 Which is soon followed by more fat jokes about Ginny Sack.]]
251* In "[[Recap/TheSopranosS4E4TheWeight The Weight]]", [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vl77IyWcbWU Johnny Sack vents his spleen to New York boss Carmine Lupertazzi]], lobbying hard for harsh retribution against Ralph for the insult against his wife. Carmine, completely stone-faced and sipping on his coffee, shows little interest in his underboss' troubles, offering a relatively weak penalty, and takes a moment to [[ComicallyMissingThePoint comically miss the point]]:
252-->'''Johnny Sack:''' I want you to sanction a hit against Ralph Cifaretto.\
253'''Carmine:''' What? Are you fucking kidding me?!\
254'''Johnny Sack:''' He violated my wife's honor!\
255'''Carmine:''' ''[genuinely confused]'' Ralph slept with Ginny?\
256'''Johnny Sack:''' ''[sighs]'' ...He insulted her. He made a very insensitive joke about her body to ''some friends of ours''.\
257'''Carmine:''' What did he say?\
258'''Johnny Sack:''' ''[sardonically]'' Do I hafta repeat it? My word isn't good enough?\
259'''Carmine:''' ''[matter-of-factly]'' Not if you want him clipped over it.\
260'''Johnny Sack:''' ''[sighs]'' He said... ''[strained]'' she was having "a 90-pound mole removed from her ass".\
261''[Carmine stares blankly]''\
262'''Johnny Sack:''' [[DontExplainTheJoke The implication is that her ass is so big she could have a mole that size removed from it!]]\
263'''Carmine:''' ...That's an off-color remark. It was highly inappropriate. If you want, I'll demand he's taxed. But clip him? ''[shakes his head]''\
264'''Johnny Sack:''' Is... Is it ''all'' just about money?\
265'''Carmine:''' I crack him good. I'll ask for 200 grand.\
266'''Johnny Sack:''' 200 grand for insulting my wife? What's next, Carmine, he gets to [[SuddenlyShouting FUCK HER FOR A MILLION!?!]]\
267'''Carmine:''' [[SarcasmBlind He wants to fuck her?]]
268* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aNSpVvqqlJU&feature=youtu.be Vito breaks a chair and falls off like a dead elephant]] in "[[Recap/TheSopranosS4E5PieOhMy Pie O My]]".
269** Later, Adriana sits in the same chair and also falls off.
270--->'''Adriana:''' They broke my fucking chair!
271* Artie Bucco psyching himself up in front of the mirror before he attempts to intimidate Jean-Philippe into coughing up the money he owes him, really pathetic ''Film/TaxiDriver'' style in "[[Recap/TheSopranosS4E6EverybodyHurts Everybody Hurts]]".
272** [[GratuitousFrench "Qu'est-ce que c'est? Message machine broken?"]]
273** Oh, and [[OhCrap Furio Gunta]] shows up on the guy's doorstep the next day, after Tony assumes the debt.
274** After a botched suicide attempt, Artie is crying to Tony that he is never going to be able to pay back the 50,000$. Tony, while clearly going to essentially forgive his debt, still points out that he owes 51,500$ and that he technically missed his first payment, so it's even more than that.
275* Tony, Ralph, and Brian Cammarata waking up in the Bing in the morning, after a night's worth of partying, with both Tony and Brian visibly hungover.
276* Ralph Cifaretto's [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ji3IfcUsIdc epic phone prank]] on Paulie's poor mother.
277-->'''Mrs. Gualtieri:''' Hello.\
278'''Ralph:''' Mrs. Marianucci Gualtieri?\
279'''Mrs. Gualtieri:''' Yes?\
280'''Ralph:''' Hi, this is detective [[CountryMatters Mike Hunt]], Beaver Falls, Pennsylvania Police Department. You have a son, Peter Paul?\
281'''Mrs. Gualtieri:''' Oh, my God, what happened?\
282'''Ralph:''' He's alright, ma'am, but I'm afraid he's in a little trouble. We found him in a public men's room in Lafayette Park. I don't know how to put this delicately: he was sucking a Cub Scout's dick.\
283'''Mrs. Gualtieri:''' What?! No, it's a mistake!\
284'''Ralph:''' Ma'am, I wish that was all. Uh, but I'm afraid we had to have emergency surgery performed upon arrival at headquarters after discovery of a small rodent in the rectal passage.\
285'''Mrs. Gualtieri:''' Oh, my God!\
286'''Ralph:''' A gerbil, ma'am. Uh, the County does not cover medical procedures deemed caused by criminal sexual activity: [[BavarianFireDrill Section 4, paragraph 15. We'll need an insurance number.]]\
287'''Mrs. Gualtieri:''' Marone. I have Blue Cross Blue Shield. Is that all right?\
288'''Ralph:''' Ma'am, could you hold on for one second? I have the hospital on the other line.\
289''[Ralph abruptly hangs up, and he, Vito Spatafore and Eugene Pontecorvo bust out into uproarious laughter]''
290* [[Recap/TheSopranosS4E9WhoeverDidThis "Whoever Did This"]]
291** When Christopher meets with Tony after he murders Ralphie.
292--->'''Christopher:''' ''[shocked]'' "Hoooh..."\
293'''Tony:''' I found him like this...\
294''[Christopher looks at Ralph's body, then slowly turns his head towards Tony.]'' \
295'''Tony:''' Guy was a piece of shit! Whoever did this, should've happened a long time ago.
296*** The fact that Tony couldn't convince a heroin addict like Chris that he didn't murder Ralphie.
297** Christopher fumbling with the tractor in and Tony yelling at him to pull the scooper up.
298* "[[Recap/TheSopranosS4E10TheStrongSilentType The Strong Silent Type]]"
299** While Christopher getting robbed and beaten while scoring heroin is meant to be a dark scene showcasing how far he's fallen. Him getting his ass beat with a xylophone is a pretty hilarious, and pathetic sight for the usually cocky gangster.
300** Christopher's drug intervention, which ends up with him being pounded six ways to Sunday. Then Tony ices the cakes at ER.
301--->'''Nurse:''' [[CutHimselfShaving He slipped off the kitchen counter while spraying for ants?]]\
302'''Tony:''' Well, he was wearing socks.
303*** The fact that almost NO ONE attending the intervention (aside from Adriana) even attempts to give Chris good advice is both sad and hilarious at the same time.
304*** The guys don't seem ''that'' pissed off. Until they find out he accidentally fell asleep and suffocated the dog. ''Then'' they get pissed.
305---->'''Tony:''' You killed little Cosette?! I oughta suffocate ''you'', you little prick!
306*** Paulie asks whether Cosette was barking when this happened, as though he considers the dog making too much noise to be a valid reason for killing it.
307*** Silvio's short, but sweet contribution to Christopher's intervention;
308---->'''Silvio:''' ''[reading his statement]'' "When I came in to open up one morning you had your head half in the toilet. Your hair was in the toilet water. Disgusting."\
309'''Christopher:''' I told you, I had the flu.\
310'''Silvio:''' I said my piece, Chrissy.
311*** Just the fact that Silvio had to read this short statement instead of just reciting it from memory. He even felt he had to write down "disgusting" in case he forgot that important detail.
312*** Then we get to Paulie:
313---->'''Dominic:''' Paul, you wanna read your statement?\
314'''Paulie:''' I don't write nothing down, so I'll keep this short and sweet. [[NoSympathy You're weak. You're out of control. You've become an embarrassment to yourself and everybody else.]]
315*** Also Paulie's reaction to when Adriana says that Christopher can no longer function as a man. You can just hear him thinking "ouch" when he hears that.
316* Christopher reaction to Tony's speech about playing the minority-victim card: "[[ComicallyMissingThePoint He was gay]], Creator/GaryCooper?"
317* A [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FyRPmMi1Mio discussion]] about ''Literature/BillyBudd'' in "[[Recap/TheSopranosS4E12Eloise Eloise]]". A close call between Carmela's clueless rant about homosexuality and Tony's "no offense", assuming one of Meadow's friends is gay and the ensuing disbelief when the boy replies he's not gay.
318** A dinner guest quotes a passage from the book, and AJ is surprised to hear about it. Tony mumbles "I thought you read it."
319** The fact that ''even Tony'', who takes every chance he can get to mock homosexuality, looks embarrassed at Carmela's outburst.
320* AJ inadvertently reveals to Meadow Carmela's feelings towards Furio...and then rips a huge fart. MoodWhiplash at its finest.
321[[/folder]]
322
323[[folder:Season 5]]
324* "[[Recap/TheSopranosS5E1TwoTonys Two Tonys]]":
325** The entire situation with the bear.
326** Tony B calling Paulie [[Series/TheMunsters Grampa Munster]] and telling him to "let the first coat dry before putting the second coat on".
327** When Tony wants to talk to Chris about the feud between him and Paulie:
328--->'''Chris:''' [[NoodleIncident This about the Easter baskets?]]\
329'''Tony:''' I don't even know what that is, and to tell you the truth, I don't want to know.
330** Chris and Paulie's murder of a waiter really shouldn't be funny, but the way they handle it like the mobsters they are makes it darkly hilarious, from them unable to deal with the waiter undergoing a fatal seizure from having a brick thrown at his head by Chris, to Paulie shooting the waiter dead so he possibly won't squeal and staging it like a mugging by taking Chris's tip money back.
331--->'''Chris:''' That's my money, Paulie!
332** The fact that all it takes for Paulie and Chris to reconcile is them accidentally murdering an innocent person.
333--->'''Paulie:''' Look what could've happened last night. One of us could've got hurt or even killed for Christ's sake.
334* Ray Curto is revealed to be a rat for a long time...and he's so good at it that not only no one suspects him, he's [[RefugeInAudacity hosing down the FBI]] for dry cleaning money because his shirt got stained.
335* "[[Recap/TheSopranosS5E3WheresJohnny Where's Johnny?]]":
336** Junior absentmindedly wandering around the city.
337** When Tony storms off from Sunday dinner after one too many [[BerserkButton remarks about his skills as a varsity athlete]]:
338--->'''Tony:''' Get your coat, we're leaving!\
339'''AJ:''' I don't have a coat.\
340'''Tony:''' Well, then get moving, goddamnit!
341** The sit down with Angelo Garape has a lot of funny moments:
342*** Junior proudly proclaiming he has cable.
343*** He also randomly brings up the varsity athlete thing again. Everyone, including Tony, stares blankly at him for a few seconds. Angelo asks:
344--->'''Angelo:''' Your point being what, Junior?
345*** "Jason, men are talking here."
346** Creator/LarryDavid from ''Series/CurbYourEnthusiasm'' doing a crossover in Junior's mind. The resemblance is certainly [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xnv5GsQGS7E there]].
347** Paulie Walnuts and Feech [=LaManna=]'s dispute over landscaping territory:
348--->'''Paulie:''' Which entitles you to shit! In my book, you get points for staying outta the can!\
349'''Feech:''' Good thing for me, then, that your book don't mean oogatz to me! What's yours is yours, Paulie, but what ain't is anybody else's! Now do yourself a [[ClusterFBomb fucking favor and get the fuck outta my store!]]
350** The violence Feech and Paulie inflict on the landscapers is an excellent example of [[ComedicSociopathy comedic sociopathy]], particularly when Paulie whacks one of them over the head with a shovel, resulting in him dropping the rope and the guy cutting tree branches falling to the ground. This is followed up with Paulie taking the guy's wallet and lawnmower, and driving off with the lawnmower sitting in his open trunk. Earlier, there's Feech giving a [[GroinAttack groin attack]] to Sal Vitro, while Tony B gives an understated, "there he goes again" type expression before he leads Feech away from the scene.
351--->'''Paulie:''' [[BlatantLies He jumped out the tree. And came at me with a chainsaw!]] I got a right to defend myself, Ton'!
352** Tony, Chris, and Vito's meeting with Johnny Sack. Namely, Chrissy speaking too much and pissing off Johnny Sack, while Tony tries to shut him up by asking for him to pass the bread. Johnny then loses his shit at Chris and leaves. GilliganCut to Tony yelling at Chris in the car for [[NiceJobBreakingItHero fucking everything up]].
353** Lorraine Calluzzo's mock execution:
354--->'''Phil:''' You'll suck our cocks? ''(to her flunky)'' Is she any good? ... ''([[{{beat}} indignant]])'' Why am I asking you for? You probably showed her how.\
355'''Joey Peeps:''' ''[gagging Lorraine]'' Shut up.\
356'''Phil:''' ''[produces a white pages book and his gun]'' Relax. This will muffle the shot.\
357''[Phil puts the book to Lorraine's chest]''\
358'''Phil:''' Adios, you fucking skank!\
359''[Phil shoots through the book. The bullet doesn't go all the way through.]''\
360'''Phil:''' ''[laughs]'' Hey. Look at this, Joey! Today's her lucky day! Only made it to the "Rs"! ''[to Lorraine]'' Next time, there'll be no "next time".
361* "[[Recap/TheSopranosS5E4AllHappyFamilies All Happy Families...]]", AJ comes home after a drug-fueled night out and no eyebrows. Tony enquires what happened, leading to the priceless line of Poppers and weird sex. [[https://y.yarn.co/e8195700-5802-4155-847c-ed3d3fc5d5ad_screenshot.jpg Carmela's facial reaction nails it]].
362* Tony and Adriana [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2BRDiowRugM laughing about and imitating Christopher's disapproving expression]] in "[[Recap/TheSopranosS5E5IrregularAroundTheMargins Irregular Around the Margins]]", with Tony comparing him to a constipated owl.
363* Christopher calling [[VillainousGlutton Vito]] a "[[YouAreFat parade float]]". Also Vito telling Chris to give him respect as a Captain, he sounds like a parent scolding a child.
364* When Paulie first meets Finn in "[[Recap/TheSopranosS5E9UnidentifiedBlackMales Unidentified Black Males]]", he orders "Shaggy" to clean dog feces off his tires and threatens to knock his teeth out. His [[OhCrap facial expression]] when he finds out he's Meadow's boyfriend is priceless. He then proceeds to suck up to him. [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1oc7wdUQfL0 100% Paulie in a nutshell]].
365* At Joey Peeps' funeral as the priest gives his sermon before the camera pans down and shows that the headstone has his nickname and not his real name. Tony's reaction to Silvio is priceless, thanks to James Gandolfini and Steven Van Zandt's delivery.
366* Tony S. and Tony B. mercilessly troll poor Christopher for abstaining from alcohol in "[[Recap/TheSopranosS5E10ColdCuts Cold Cuts]]".
367-->'''Tony:''' What the fuck's so funny about that? Doesn't even make sense.\
368'''Tony B.:''' Well, he's drunk.\
369'''Tony:''' Him? No way. He's in recovery.\
370'''Tony B.:''' Well if you recover your fuckin' balls, give us a call. We might like to hang out.\
371'''Tony:''' No, seriously, it's not funny. He's a 12-stepper, right?\
372'''Christopher:''' Well, yeah. You know that.\
373'''Tony:''' That's right.\
374'''Tony B.:''' Maybe he can take another couple of steps out the door so we could have some fun?\
375'''Tony B.:''' So, how do you like his car? Schwarzenegger's. You told me you didn't pay for it. You gave the guy a hum-job.\
376'''Tony:''' For the Hum-vee.\
377'''Tony B.:''' Maybe he'd like to hum me.\
378'''Tony:''' A friend of Bill over here?\
379'''Christopher:''' Fuckin' wits over here.\
380'''Tony B.:''' Bill? I'll say.\
381'''Tony:''' That? That's not a bill, that's a beak!\
382'''Tony B.:''' On the way home, we can drop him off at Beakskill.\
383'''Tony:''' Well, if beaks could kill, that one certainly would!
384* "[[Recap/TheSopranosS5E11TheTestDream The Test Dream]]"
385** Tony's dreams begin with him waking up in bed while hearing his escort offering to give him a blowjob and slowly turning over to see Carmine Sr. right next to him. Tony then runs out of the bed, understandably saying "What the fuck!?"
386** "Hey, you're Creator/AnnetteBening!"
387** Another dream has Tony having sex with Charmaine while Artie is kneeling next to their bed and coaching Tony the entire time. All this happens while horses can be heard galloping outside. It then jump cuts to another dream where Tony is riding Pie-o-My inside his house.
388* "[[Recap/TheSopranosS5E13AllDueRespect All Due Respect]]":
389** Phil saying he's from AA and then replying "we are anonymous" when asked for his name [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WklY9urzWZc during]] his otherwise horrible harassment of Chris' mother.
390** Phil is so offended and livid at Tony B. killing his brother. "With no provocation whatsoever", is how Phil describes it in "Kaisha" in the next season, [[HypocriticalHumor when the killing was retaliation for their killing of Angelo Garepe]]. A former consigliere and made man is killed...and Phil complains about his car, showing just how much he cared about killing a made guy in his own family (yes, Angelo's death was sanctioned by Johnny Sack, but it is still a callous murder). But then Phil's brother (and almost himself) is killed in retaliation, and he acts like it is such a tragedy. It should be sad that Billy died, but to act like it is so unexpected and egregious somehow crosses the line twice. Topping it off is how animated he gets when talking about his brother's murder. [[SarcasmMode It is such a tragedy that a guy who lived by the sword died by the sword.]]
391** Tony [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere running like hell]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=modmq0hnLSA&ab_channel=TonySoprano when he sees the FBI approaching Johnny Sack's home]] is a pretty serious moment. Johnny [[EpicFail slipping face-first into the snow]] in his own bungled escape attempt, and the agents manhandling Sal Vitro in the midst of clearing said snow out, not so serious. Even better, we get a solid minute and a half of Tony's beleaguered and dramatic escape of sprinting through snow and woods to evade the cops, almost getting bitten by an AngryGuardDog in the process.. and then finds out the police were only after Johnny, meaning Tony's paranoia had him exhaust and humiliate himself for no real reason when it initially seemed like he actually gave them the slip: they simply ''didn't care.''
392[[/folder]]
393
394[[folder:Season 6]]
395* From "[[Recap/TheSopranosS6E1MembersOnly Members Only]]": "Ever think what a coincidence it is that Lou Gehrig died of Lou Gehrig's disease?" - Christopher, yet again.
396** Even better is that he was actually making a joke with that, which Silvio [[ActuallyPrettyFunny found funny]].
397* Raymond Curto dies in the ripe old age of 75 from a stroke, with all the mobsters paying tribute to him, calling him a strand up guy. Ray was a long-time rat to the FBI, [[KarmaHoudini and no one even suspected him,]] much less found him out. Well played, Ray.
398* From "[[Recap/TheSopranosS6E2JoinTheClub Join the Club]]": "He [[Music/MarvinGaye Marvin Gayed]] his own nephew". Vito summarizing the incident between Junior and Tony, black comedy at its finest.
399* "[[Recap/TheSopranosS6E3Mayham Mayham]]":
400** Paulie tries to have a heart-to-heart with a comatose Tony, but all he does is subconsciously piss Tony off in the form of a noisy neighbor in one of his "Kevin Finnerty" dreams and near-fatally drive his heart rate up. Meadow specifically and repeatedly told Paulie to only talk about positive things, but he just can't help being a grumpy prick.
401** Some of you might know that Little Carmine has "had 9 pictures under his sub-species."
402* "[[Recap/TheSopranosS6E4TheFleshyPartOfTheThigh The Fleshy Part of the Thigh]]":
403** Paulie Walnuts, not long after finding out that the woman he thought was his mother his whole life was actually his aunt, and that his real mother was his "aunt" the nun, who, fearing a scandal, handed baby Paulie over to her sister Marianucci to raise, is approached by Father Intintola in the hospital. The priest innocently asks after Tony, who's in the ICU recuperating from a gunshot wound...
404--->"HE'S IN A LOT BETTER SHAPE THAN THOSE FUCKIN' NUNS YOU GOT UP THERE!!"
405** Bobby offers to help a rapper win some street cred by getting him shot, aiming for a fleshy part of his thigh to minimize injury. But when he receives one thousand dollars short of the asking fee for the job, Bobby proceeds to shoot the rapper in the equally fleshy ass instead, all while dressing up as an obese street thug.
406--->"OWW, MY ASS! HE SHOT ME IN THE ASS!!!"
407* "[[Recap/TheSopranosS6E5MrAndMrsJohnSacrimoniRequest Mr. & Mrs. Sacrimoni Request]]":
408** Phil calls Rusty Millio "[[Film/TheWizardOfOz the Mayor of MunchkinLand]]".
409** The [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dZbd0xpP1Z8 doublespeak problems]] of Johhny Sack's brother-in-law.
410--->'''Johnny:''' An actual fucking cake!
411** [[{{Gayngster}} Vito]] being outed shouldn't be a funny scene in normal circumstances, but the fact that it happened while was dressed in [[{{Leatherman}} a leather outfit]] while [[BlatantLies attempting and failing]] to use a JustJokingJustification for being present in a gay bar brings the scene to CrossesTheLineTwice territory.
412* [[https://imgur.com/fJGAdpy Paul Gualtieri - 2006 Honoree For Excellence in Recycling.]]
413* "[[Recap/TheSopranosS6E6LiveFreeOrDie Live Free or Die]]":
414** Paulie (upon hearing about the rumors of Vito Spatafore's sexual orientation):
415--->"Tell you one thing, if it was me this kid was spreading rumors about, he'd have something up his own ass. And it wouldn't be no cock, either!"
416** The [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A7uH_rQC6fc "enlightened"]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EaCvFNH28lo discussions]] about Vito allegedly being an "ass muncher" CrossesTheLineTwice and then some more.
417--->'''Gervasi:''' Think about it, though, Ton'. Sudden weight loss...\
418'''Paulie:''' AIDS!?\
419'''Tony:''' Nobody got AIDS! I don't want to hear that word in here again!\
420'''Bobby:''' We can't have him here in our social club no more, that much is clear.\
421'''Carlo:''' "Social club"? He's gotta go!\
422'''Paulie:''' How much more betrayal can I take!?
423** When Vito having a wife and kids is brought up as evidence of the rumor being false, Elton John and Rock Hudson are brought up as examples of that not meaning anything. Looking closely at Tony's expression when the latter is mentioned shows him looking absolutely ''shocked'' and confused at Hudson being a homosexual.
424*** When interrogating Finn, Finn clarifies that he saw Vito blowing the guard, not the other way around.
425---->'''Paulie:''' '''''[[SuddenlyShouting SON OF A BITCH!]]'''''\
426'''Gervasi:''' Catching, not pitching.\
427'''Finn:''' He's not gonna know I told you?\
428'''Paulie:''' You're going to have no problem from Vito, believe me.\
429'''Finn:''' What are you going to do?\
430'''Christopher:''' It'll be okay. [[CureYourGays We'll get him to pay for some therapy]]...
431*** Amidst the heated conversation over what to do next with Vito, Christopher has this to say. Patsy actually [[ActuallyPrettyFunny bursts out laughing]] in response.
432---->'''Christopher:''' Vito a fag, big construction tycoon. Ton', when he was always talking about "[[DoubleEntendre greasing the union]]", who knew that's what he meant!
433** After Silvio visits Marie to try to find out about Vito.
434--->I'm telling ya... my business, I'm around a lot of women. That one ain't getting laid.
435** Tony's phone conversation with the roadside worker.
436--->'''Roadside worker:''' Hello?\
437'''Tony:''' Vito?\
438'''Roadside worker:''' Who?\
439'''Tony:''' Put Vito on the phone, asshole.\
440'''Roadside worker:''' Fuck you, motherfucker.\
441'''Tony:''' What, are you sucking his dick? Put him on.\
442'''Roadside worker:''' How about I kick your ass, you fucking faggot?\
443'''Tony:''' Yeah, that's right, telephone tough guy. Put Vito on the phone!\
444'''Roadside worker:''' Look, there ain't no Vito, man. I found the phone on the side of the road.\
445'''Tony:''' What?!\
446'''Roadside worker:''' Hang on a second. ''[tosses the phone under a passing steamroller, which promptly crushes it]''
447** Tony's FreudianSlip while discussing the target on Vito's back to Dr. Melfi:
448-->'''Tony:''' This guy that got outed, look, the guys that work for me are askin' for head. ...''his'' head, what the fuck?
449* "[[Recap/TheSopranosS6E7LuxuryLounge Luxury Lounge]]":
450** "We were just discussing ''La Cage Aux Fat!''"
451** Hearing Creator/LaurenBacall drop an F-bomb, ''twice''.
452** During [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X-vxHIyZ_dk the celebratory dinner after a made-man ceremony]], Sil tries to say a few words, only for Tony to cut him short, then Phill makes his feelings on Vito's homosexuality known in his usual diplomatic manner:
453--->'''Phil:''' And in light of recent humiliations, it's an honor to be joined by men -- and not FAGGOT-ASS, CORN-HOLING COCKSUCKERS like (what) married my cousin. He should fuckin' DIE!
454*** Gerry Torciano tries to calm Phil, saying the wine makes him emotional, implying he's used to this kind of outbursts.
455** Artie Bucco's meltdown during his interrogation of the restaurant staff, when he discovers that someone has been selling credit card numbers.
456--->"No, fuck ''you!'' I don't know which one of you pieces of shit did this, but I've been good to you! And you pay me back with ''non-stop ass rape?!?'' Well, FUCK ALL OF YOU!!!"
457* Burt and Patsy's [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Gsz7Gu6agA attempt]] to shake down the manager of a Starbucks {{Expy}} for protection in "[[Recap/TheSopranosS6E8JohnnyCakes Johnny Cakes]]", as they realize he can't pay them off because he has to account for all expenditures through the corporate office, and there are too many locations for corporate to care about vandalism. The two leave, and Patsy laments "It's over for the little guy."
458* In "[[Recap/TheSopranosS6E10MoeNJoe Moe n' Joe]]", Vito is stuck in a boring handyman job, constantly trying to resist the temptation to look at his watch to see when his lunch break is. Finally, he convinces himself it's almost noon with the sun's position, but then sees on his watch that it's still more than an hour away and screams "FUCK ME!"
459** Notably the first time since season 1 that a character provides a voice-over.
460* "[[Recap/TheSopranosS6E11ColdStones Cold Stones]]":
461** Vito returns:
462--->'''Vito:''' It was the medication I was on. For my blood pressure. It fucked with my head, but I'm over that now. I could probably get a letter from my doctor.\
463'''Tony:''' A note from your doctor saying you don't like to suck cock?
464** When [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xOWRCGG2NVI Phil is comforting Vito's widow]], one henchmen happens to be absorbed watching a [[MachoCamp bodybuilding show full of half-naked men]]. Naturally, Phil is annoyed and orders him to turn the TV off.
465** Phil delivers some "[[DamnedByFaintPraise praise]]" about the dearly departed.
466--->'''Phil:''' I loved him [[StealthInsult like a brother-in-law]].
467** Fat Dom making gay jokes at Jersey's expense...what could possibly go wrong?. [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pSoeSscFZX0 Hilarity ensues]]. It gets better when Tony shows up and does his WTF? routine while Carlo tries to sheepishly cover his own ass.
468--->'''Carlo:''' Sil hit him first...
469*** The lads were passing the time casually playing cards and eating something, like in a picnic... while Dom's corpse lies in a table a few feet away from them.
470** Carmela finds out that AJ got fired from Blockbuster:
471--->'''Carmela:''' I went to Blockbuster to rent ''Film/CinderellaMan'', but guess what?\
472'''Tony:''' Is it still an American classic?
473* Carmine Jr. trying the [[HonoraryUncle "Uncle Philly"]] soft approach, only to taste Phil's usual niceties: "Uncle Philly my ass!"
474* "[[Recap/TheSopranosS6E12Kaisha Kaisha]]":
475** The awkward game of TabletopGame/{{Monopoly}} between Tony, Carmela, Janice and Bobby:
476** Phil gets nicknamed "[[http://es.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mohammad_Reza_Pahlevi The Shah of Iran"]]. Later topped when Phil, "[[{{Jerkass}} everloving extraordinaire]]" takes offense to it when he's summing up why Jersey sucks. Being compared -and quite benignly- to Royalty [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking seems to infuriate him the most]]!
477** The [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zj0wrGz6ygI meeting of minds]], all of it up to Carmine's EpicFail. It starts with reaction shots of Tony and the rest trying not to die in the couch while enduring Little Carmine's pomposity.
478--->'''Little Carmine:''' For whatever reason, certain incidents have expired lately, that, in addition to being dangerous, could have an adverse impact on our respective bottom lines.\
479'''Phil:''' I know Vito's bottom was impacted if that's what you're referring to [...] Captain? [[Film/BrightEyes Of the good ship]] [[Creator/ShirleyTemple Lollipop]], right?
480** Then a few seconds later, Phil brings up Fat Dom's death:
481--->'''Phil:''' He's MIA, a lot of people are concerned for his well-being.\
482'''Tony:''' So what the fuck would I know about that?\
483'''Phil:''' Well as coincidence would have it, he was last seen in New Jersey.\
484'''Tony:''' So was the ''Hindenburg''. Maybe you wanna look into that too.
485** And finally, Little Carmine casually brings up the death of Phil's brother.
486--->'''Little Carmine:''' Now what I'd love to see is a truce. Wipe the slate clean. The no-shows. The wire room. Vito...put it all behind us. ''[to Phil]'' Your brother Billy, whatever happened there...\
487'''Tony:''' ''[Stands up]'' Alright then, uh...\
488'''Phil:''' ''[[BerserkButton WHATEVER HAPPENED THERE]]?!''\
489''[Carmine feels the need to elaborate as if Phil was asking for clarification]''\
490'''Little Carmine''' The shooting. God rest his soul.
491* "[[Recap/TheSopranosS6E13SopranoHomeMovies Soprano Home Movies]]".
492-->'''Bobby:''' You know, the Parker Brothers took time to think this all out. I think we should respect that.\
493'''Tony:''' Fuck the Parker Brothers. Just play the game.
494* "[[Recap/TheSopranosS6E17WalkLikeAMan Walk Like a Man]]":
495** Christopher and Paulie have yet another heated "discussion" over money":
496--->'''Paulie:''' Lower your voice. I got neighbors!\
497'''Christopher:''' Fuck your neighbors! When you gonna pay me?\
498'''Paulie:''' When you suck the money out of my ass! Now get the fuck out!
499** A drunken, nearly incoherent Christopher rambles on about his newborn daughter to the gang at the Bing, who all find the pitiful display hilarious;
500--->'''Christopher:''' And she looks up, back at me--\
501'''Paulie:''' "How the fuck do I put myself up for adoption?"\
502''[chuckling from the other mobsters]''\
503'''Christopher:''' What?\
504'''Paulie:''' Nothing. Go ahead.\
505'''Christopher:''' [[ComicallyMissingThePoint She ain't adopted, Paulie.]]\
506'''Paulie:''' I'm ''kiddin'!'' ''[Chris stares blankly at Paulie]'' What were you saying?\
507'''Christopher:''' My point -- what the fuck was -- is ''babies!'' They're the future. ''[Chris gets a silent reception, he takes a large sip of his drink]'' Do you realize by the time Caitlin's outta college, it'll be like, the year 2027 or something?\
508'''Paulie:''' She takes after you, she won't be outta fourth grade by then!\
509''[much guffawing from the other mobsters]''\
510'''Paulie:''' Look, by that time, she'll be workin' here, so who gives a shit?\
511''[distorted, cackling laughter resumes]''
512* In the last therapy session with Tony in "[[Recap/TheSopranosS6E20TheBlueComet The Blue Comet]]", Dr. Melfi is upset with Tony for a variety of reasons, one of which is that he tore a page out of her waiting room magazine. When Tony leaves, he places the torn-out page back in the magazine and gently shuts it. Just funny the way he does it.
513* "[[Recap/TheSopranosS6E21MadeInAmerica Made in America]]":
514** Just before his car explodes:
515--->'''A.J.:''' At least my gas tank was practically empty.\
516(''SUV explodes not a second after he says that'')
517** Tony and Carmela are chewing AJ out for his SUV blowing up. When Meadow tries to stick up for her brother:
518--->'''Tony:''' You mind your own goddamn business unless you want some of this too!\
519'''Meadow:''' ''[while walking out]'' Mr. Fat Mouth.\
520'''Tony:''' What did you say?!
521** Tony singing the ''Film/{{Rocky}}'' theme while following a jogging AJ in his car.
522** Paulie's feud with the cat.
523--->'''Paulie:''' I say get rid of him.\
524'''Tony:''' Leave 'im. He's a good guy.
525** [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6hH943TOdr8 Phil Leotardo's death]] is just too ridiculous to take seriously. It starts off quite harrowing, as Phil gets his head shot off by Walden in broad daylight, but then the knowingly silly elements start to creep in -- Patty accidentally leaving it in drive, the radio playing "Keep Me Hangin' On" by Vanilla Fudge as the SUV lurches towards Phil's corpse, the cut to the completely innocent little twins in the backseat when the tire crushes his skull, [[ReactionShot the group of black teenagers crying out "OH!" in horror]] (with one of them vomiting), and the ''absurdly'' Long Island guy in the puffy coat who yells "OH SHIT" as he penguin-waddles away from his van. By the end, it's gone from shocking to hilarious.
526** As sad as Uncle Junior succumbing to Alzheimer's may be, there's something darkly amusing, not only about the fact that he's forgotten that he used to be a mobster but also his utterly blasé reaction to Tony informing him of it.
527--->'''Tony:''' You don't know who I am, do ya? Remember Johnny? Johnny Boy? Your kid brother? "This thing of ours?"\
528'''Uncle Junior:''' I was involved with that?\
529'''Tony:''' You and my dad. You two ran North Jersey.\
530'''Uncle Junior:''' We did?\
531'''Tony:''' Yeah.\
532'''Uncle Junior:''' Hmm. Well, that's nice.
533* As tense and inherently sad as the final scene is, there's some humor in the appearance where the [[RunningGag oft-mythologized]] "two black guys" enter the diner.
534[[/folder]]

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