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7[[Funny/TheNostalgiaCritic Main]] | [[Funny/TheNostalgiaCritic2007Episodes 2007]] | [[Funny/TheNostalgiaCritic2008Episodes 2008]] | [[Funny/TheNostalgiaCritic2009Episodes 2009]] | [[Funny/TheNostalgiaCritic2010Episodes 2010]] | [[Funny/TheNostalgiaCritic2011Episodes 2011]] | '''2012''' | [[Funny/TheNostalgiaCritic2013Episodes 2013]] | [[Funny/TheNostalgiaCritic2014Episodes 2014]] | [[Funny/TheNostalgiaCritic2015Episodes 2015]] | [[Funny/TheNostalgiaCritic2016Episodes 2016]] | [[Funny/TheNostalgiaCritic2017Episodes 2017]] | [[Funny/TheNostalgiaCritic2018Episodes 2018]] | [[Funny/TheNostalgiaCritic2019Episodes 2019]] | [[Funny/TheNostalgiaCritic2020Episodes 2020]] | [[Funny/TheNostalgiaCritic2021Episodes 2021]] | [[Funny/TheNostalgiaCritic2022Episodes 2022]] | [[Funny/TheNostalgiaCritic2023Episodes 2023]] | [[Funny/TheNostalgiaCritic2024Episodes 2024]]
8
9[[foldercontrol]]
10
11----
12
13[[folder:Santa Claus: The Movie]]
14* The Critic begins by announcing that he'll do another Christmas movie to end December, causing [[StrawFan Douchey McNitpick]] to pop up and complain that Christmas is already over. The Critic [[WhyDontYouJustShootHim shoots him]] to [[ShutUpHannibal shut him up]]. Doubles as a SugarWiki/MomentOfAwesome.
15* "I've invented JAPAN!!"
16* *''{{Angrish}}''* "'''[[LargeHam FOR FREEEEEEE?!?!]]'''"
17** The reenactment of John Lithgow's acting coach's instructions during that scene.
18* The Critic's getting choked-up over Patch's leaving scene, with one of the reindeers crying.
19-->"Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la--" ''(sobs)''
20* During the scene where Patch's toys are falling apart and Patch is watching in horror as children cry, the Critic proceeds to show Film/{{Arthur 1981}} [[ActorAllusion mocking the children]].
21* The Critic's incredulity at the [[{{Determinator}} lengths]] Movie!Santa goes to make his delivery, even at the cost of his wife and reindeers' lives, and wonders if Real!Santa would do the same. Cue Santa Christ appearing, having weathered three snowstorms, two tornadoes and a ''[[RuleOfThree tsunami]]'' to give the Critic a Sega Genesis...only to find out that the Critic already has one. He slams the door on the way out.
22** "Hellooo, [=eBay=]."
23* "And if you look at our 5-Day forecast you'll see that we get...RAIN!!" *''Happy dance to marching band music''*
24** It's even funnier for someone from Northeastern Iowa, as they use that region's weather map.
25* Christmas II: [[Film/SilentNightDeadlyNightPart2 GARBAGE DAY!!!]]
26-->'''Phelous:''' [[CallBack Let it go]].\
27'''Critic:''' I know...
28* Mozart's Requiem playing during Santa's sorta-HeroicBSOD.
29** Even funnier; it makes the whole scene [[ActorAllusion a giant reference]] to the "strong men also cry" scene from ''Film/TheBigLebowski''.
30* "Alaka-child-abduction!!"
31** And before that, the Critic's [[AlternateCharacterInterpretation darker take]] on the elves rescuing Santa and his wife and giving him eternal life:
32--->'''Critic as Elf:''' ''(cheerfully)'' You will live here now!\
33'''Critic as Santa:''' What?!\
34'''Elf:''' You'll deliver toys for all eternity!\
35'''Santa:''' I didn't agree to this!\
36'''Elf:''' You will live forever!\
37'''Santa:''' I have some questions about all--\
38'''Elf:''' ''(still cheerfully)'' ''Or'' we can throw you out in the snow to die! Would you like that better?\
39'''Santa:''' ...No...\
40'''Elf:''' Alright then! Get to work, slave; we're not paying you anything.
41** Later...
42--->'''Elf:''' Your wife will also be our impregnated elf queen.\
43'''Santa:''' [[FlatWhat What?]]\
44'''Elf:''' Nothing. TOY MAKING TIME!
45* The Critic's BlackComedy ending:
46-->'''Critic:''' This is the creepiest North Pole ever put to film! At least it ''would'' be, if this weren't all a hallucinogenic dream, followed by death.\
47''(fade in to the scene at beginning of the film, only to cut back to the Critic)''\
48'''Critic:''' Okay, okay, that's not the real ending. But [[ComicallyMissingThePoint wouldn't that be awesome!?]]
49* The note at the very end of the video saying ''not'' to tell [[WebVideo/AtopTheFourthWall Linkara]] he's reviewing the odd-numbered ''Star Trek'' movies next, as he'd want a cameo.
50* The [[CallBack Evil]] [[Film/FreeWilly Popcorn-munching]] [[RunningGag Man]] strikes again!
51* A moment of DarkHumor here.
52-->'''Kid:''' Are you Santa?\
53'''Santa:''' Boy, I hate it when this happens.\
54'''Critic:''' ''(brandishing his gun)'' Santa has to make sure you have a silent night. ''(fires)''
55* Critic's initial enthusiasm about potentially learning more regarding the real historical figure that Santa Claus was based on
56--> '''Critic:''' Oh, you mean we’re gonna talk about the actual Saint Nicholas and what we historically know about hi--? He's a fat guy with toys; we're running with that angle!
57[[/folder]]
58
59[[folder:Star Trek: The Motion Picture]]
60* Making a VoiceClipSong of the '''''KHAAAAAAAN!!!''''' scene...''to the ''Wrath of Khan'' theme''.
61* Chester's 'salary':
62-->'''Chester:''' [[OohMeAccentsSlipping I cannae du it, cap'n! I dinnae have th'powah!]] Or the, uh... [''rattles cup''] ...money?\
63'''Critic:''' [''sighs; tosses him a penny'']\
64'''Chester:''' [''[[Franchise/SuperMarioBros cha-ching]]''] Thank you!
65* Showing ''Franchise/BillAndTed'' whenever the V'Ger cloud makes its electric guitar chord.
66* Chester getting an incoming cameo critic, and the Critic fearing that it's [[WebVideo/AtopTheFourthWall Linkara]]. Instead it's [[WebVideo/TheAngryJoeShow Angry Joe]], who proves that he's just as much of a Star Trek nerd as Linkara.
67** The [[CrossesTheLineTwice overdubbing audio filter]].
68* Fastforwarding through the reveal of the ''Enterprise'', complete with dialogue and actual audio from ''Film/{{Spaceballs}}''.
69* "My Oath of Celibacy is on record, Captain." *''Beat''* "[[Film/TheRoom2003 Anyway, how's your sex life?]]"
70** Also, he succeeds in averting a SpitTake when he first hears Ilia's line, only to do one when ''Film/TheRoom2003'' line gets added in.
71* "Hey, sir! Listen to this! [[BeamMeUpScotty Luke,]] [[Franchise/StarWars I am]] [[Film/TheEmpireStrikesBack your father]]."
72* When Bones gets beamed up, the Critic starts playing [[Music/TheBeeGees "Stayin' Alive"]].
73* The Critic describing Ilia--post-V'Ger takeover--as the perfect woman, to the outrage of the audience's female members:
74-->"Am I wrong, ladies? Am I--" *''SLAP!!''* "Ow."
75** Speaking of V'Ger/Ilia moments...
76--->'''Bones:''' ''(comes in, having missed the action)'' Jim! What's going on?\
77'''Kirk:''' ''(points)'' The Tricorder.\
78'''Critic (as Bones):''' No, that's a bald woman. ''(someone hands Bones a tricorder)'' But this is a tricorder.
79* "This is just watching a bunch of footage and then seeing someone comment on it! [[HypocriticalHumor Who the hell would want to see that?!]]"
80* The ''entire'' scene with the Critic talking over the all the characters just staring at the screen. "Come ''on''! Do something, dammit! Fire a laser or some shit! I don't know! ''Please do something''! Cut! CUT! CUT...!"
81* The Critic and Joe's reenactment of the '''''KHAAAAAAAN!!!''''' scene, brought on by the lack of action and cuts in the film:
82-->'''Critic:''' Angry Joe, why didn't you tell me?! Tell me there's an edit coming up! These shots are going on forever! Please, give me a cut! ''Just give me a cut!!''\
83'''Joe:''' ''(sitting exactly like Khan)'' Oh, I've done far worse than give you no cuts. I've hurt you... and I wish to go on... hurting you. I shall leave you as this movie left me...left all audiences...marooned in the center of a dead screening. ''Bored out of your mind... bored out of your mind...''\
84'''Critic:''' ''(trembles with rage)'' '''''CUUUUUUT!!! CUUUUUUT!!!! CUUUUUUT!!!!!'''''\
85'''Joe:''' ''(expression of blissful schadenfreude)''
86** It's especially hilarious when you remember that Ricardo Montalban is Mexican, and since Joe was the only one on the site who's Hispanic (he's of Puerto Rican descent), instead of being an UnexpectedCharacter, it made him the ''perfect person'' for this role.
87* When Spock begins recording his transmission before going into V'Ger, the Critic sums it up as "We'll be back after these messages". [[MediumAwareness Then the video fades out and actual Blip commercials begin to play]] (provided you haven't ad-blocked them or watched the review on Website/YouTube).
88** One could say it's ''just'' as funny even if you've watched the review with the ads blocked/on Youtube.
89*** What follows after is just as funny:
90--->'''Critic:''' Chester! Report!\
91'''Chester:''' We were intercepted by a word from our sponsor!\
92'''Critic:''' (...) Raise shields against any more commercial plugs!\
93'''Chester:''' Aye, sir! ...Incidentally, the raising of the shields is brought to you by the delicious taste of Diet Coke.\
94'''Critic:''' ''CHESTER!!''\
95'''Chester:''' Sorry!
96* Near the beginning, with the female Vulcan Elder mind-melding with Spock... and getting [[Literature/TheHobbit "The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins"]] for her troubles.
97* "Uh, I joined Starfleet to pay for college. Is there any chance we couldn't blow up on my first mission?"
98* During the V'Ger reveal, the Critic at one point desperately tries to liven up the interminable effects shot by splicing in an 'action sequence' -- which turns out to be the same shot of a crew-member hurrying through a (slowly) closing door used in an earlier effects shot.
99* As Decker and Ilia have their "cheesy romantic past dialogue," the EtherealChoir from ''Film/{{Airplane}}'' starts playing, complete with the failed high note at the end.
100-->'''[[Film/{{Airplane}} Ted Striker]]:''' What a pisser.
101* "Oh, it turns out I've been saying his name wrong all this time. It's not Spock; it's ''[[LargeHam Spooooock...]]''"
102* Also, the credits, which apparently stars William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy, [=DeForest=] Kelley, [[Series/GilligansIsland "and the rest!"]]
103* The Critic's comments on the opening of V'Ger resembling the Sky-Gina from ''Literature/TheLangoliers''.
104* "Need I remind you of the ''Holy-shit-you-nearly-killed-us'' moment not a few minutes ago? Ye twat."
105* "SPOCK SMASH!!" *''gets zapped by the probe''* "OW!!! SPOCK NO LIKE THE SHINY THING!!"
106[[/folder]]
107
108[[folder:Star Trek III: The Search for Spock]]
109* Opening the review with a recap of ''[[Film/StarTrekIITheWrathOfKhan The Wrath of Khan]]'', done in the style of ''Series/Batman1966''.
110-->'''Critic''': Last time in the good Star Trek movie... Oh no! Khan escaped from his prison? A new toy called Genesis that creates life in two seconds but still can't create a good Sonic game in years! Kirstie Alley? As a Vulcan? She does well, but that's just plain weird! Revenge is sought after, and Shatner says Khan's name like he's passing a kidney stone! ("KHAN!") What's this? Spock is sacrificing himself for the crew? It appears this Vulcan wants out of this franchise! Will he be sucked back by the fact that he's the most marketable character? Stay tuned! Same Star Trek time, same Star Trek channel!
111* {{Squee}}ing over how cute the monster-thing is, nicknaming it Balzac, and his breakdown later on when it dies.
112-->'''Critic''': You screenwriting bastards, ''you killed my Balzac!!''
113** He even adds a final tribute after the stinger: "In loving memory of Balzac. You were a good boy."
114* The Sci-Fi Guy's cameo, tricking the Critic by being slavishly nice as he's about to die, and then killing him via explosion instead.
115-->'''Guy:''' As a sci-fi nerd, it's kinda required by the law that I own everything ''Star Trek'' related, even the really bad stuff like the Christmas Special.\
116'''Critic:''' There was a ''Christmas Special?''\
117'''Guy:''' Yeah, it's only legally viewable in Amsterdam.
118** The Critic having the gall to say that more people should be accepting of death. Hey Critic, [[WebVideo/SuburbanKnights Ma-Ti and Chester would like a word with you]].
119* The Mind-Meld Sarek does on Kirk.
120-->'''Sarek:''' Oh god, look at all the green-skinned whores. Is ''this'' all your mind is filled with?!\
121'''Kirk:''' The thoughts need a hobby.
122* Comparing the voice of the alien trader [=McCoy=] speaks with to [[WesternAnimation/LiloAndStitch Stitch]]. The Critic makes for a convincing Stitch.
123-->"''Geeeenesiss???'' Itchi-bah."
124** ''And'' he turns it into a RunningGag.
125* "[[Creator/GeorgeTakei Any time you want to use the word 'tiny', just use the word 'Takei' instead.]]"
126** Later, during the Vulcan "sex", the use of George Takei and his catchphrase. "Oh ''my''!"
127* When Kirk is ordered to surrender the [[Film/StarTrekIVTheVoyageHome "wessel"]]: "Well I have no idea what a 'wessel' is...so I can't surrender it."
128* [[WesternAnimation/LooneyTunes "Wabbit twacks!]]''
129* Practically orgasming over the "Spocker" sex sequence before dropping the act and feeling disappointed over how tame it is.
130** "Spock, when a pretty girl tells you to finger her, that's ''not'' what she means."
131* The Critic's strange, temporary Creator/ChristopherWalken impression his voice goes into after the commercial break.
132* [[RebusBubble Enterprise + Countdown = BOOM!]]
133* When Kirk kicks Kruge in the groin:
134-->'''Kruge:''' ''[in a squeaky voice]'' '''[-[[Film/BackToTheFuture1 1.21 gigawatts!?!]]-]'''
135** And then, when he is knocked off a ledge to his doom:
136--->'''Kruge:''' [[Film/SuburbanCommando I WAS FROZEN TO]]-- ''([[KilledMidSentence destroyed upon impact with lava]])''
137* A new toy called Genesis, that creates life in two seconds, but still can't create a good [[VideoGame/SonicTheHedgehog2006 Sonic game]] in years!
138[[/folder]]
139
140[[folder:Star Trek V: The Final Frontier]]
141* When Sybok approaches J'on, the Critic adds the dramatic music from Lancelot's approach in ''Film/MontyPythonAndTheHolyGrail''.
142** Topped with Lancelot actually appearing, complete with slashing of one guard, with the other guard saying "Hey..."
143* The conversation between Shatner and the producer, with Shatner trying to get the three-breasted cat lady[[note]][[InsistentTerminology ("Vanessa!")]][[/note]] into the movie.
144* "I can't believe I'm saying this: 'A Romulan, a human, and a Klingon walk into a bar.' Don't look at me, I'm sure it was written that way in the script."
145* Responding to Kirk's "I'll die alone" line.
146-->'''Critic:''' Or with [[Creator/PatrickStewart a bald man]], [[DroppedABridgeOnHim trapped under a bridge]], gasping for air, but I know it's ''one'' of those two!
147* The "Row Row Row Your Boat" sing-along. Complete with follow-the-bouncing-ball. And Shatner's head for the ball. And singing children who apparently think that "boat" is pronounced "boyt".
148** Then, pouting when he can't sing "Row Row Row Your Boat" for the second time, as the crew board the Enterprise-A.
149** [[RuleOfThree Followed by a reprisal of the song]] during the end credits of the movie and the episode.
150*** "♪Row Row Row Your Boat, gently down the stream! Merrily merrily merrily mer—♪ ''WHAT THE HELL ARE WE DOING??!!!''"
151* When he refuses to know that he heard a line like "Hold your horse, Captain" in a ''Star Trek'' movie, and when the clip is repeated, he says that he's already repressed that memory.
152* The look on the Critic's face when the admiral sends the broken-down ''Enterprise'' and not a functional ship with Kirk on it.
153* He compares the writing to ''The Little Rascals'', even noting that Spock's [[QuizzicalTilt reaction]] looks like the dog's.
154* Throwing in [[Film/TheDarkKnight The Joker's]] "People will die!" line into the hostage video.
155** Immediately after that, noting that in the hostage video, J'on looks a lot like [[Film/HarryPotter Voldemort]].
156--->'''Critic:''' What, was a representative of Hogwarts on that planet too? Avada Kedavra! ''(screen goes white)''
157* Not being able to hold in his gag reflex and throwing up onscreen at the Uhura fan-dance.
158** Not to mention him weaponizing the "cut-to-commercials" gag to avoid said scene:
159--->'''Critic:''' Save me, Corporate America!
160** The Critic's take on what the men running toward Uhura were ''really'' thinking.
161--->'''Man:''' Quick, put some clothes on that woman! Frank, give me your robe!\
162'''Frank:''' But then ''I'll'' be naked.\
163'''Man:''' "''Trust me'', it'll be better!
164** It get's better:
165--->'''Uhura:''' Hello, boys! I've always wanted to play to a captive audience.\
166'''Man:''' For the love of God, don't rape us!
167** And later, he tries photo-shopping Catherine Zeta-Jones's face onto Uhura's. It doesn't help.
168* Of Chekov: "I'm not done mispronouncing things. Hand over all your [[WesternAnimation/LooneyTunes wascally wabbits]]."
169** And as the ''Enterprise'' evades a Klingon torpedo by warping away: "[[WesternAnimation/WileECoyoteAndTheRoadrunner Meep-meep!]]"
170* Comparing the inconsistent deck numbers as the PowerTrio rocket by them to a video game glitch. Made even better by showing [[WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment Spoony's]] ''VideoGame/DCUniverseOnline'' glitch video.
171* All the comments about the so-called "dangers" of the Great Barrier.
172* [[Film/TheWizardOfOz The Cowardly Lion]] as God: "I'm the Messiah! I'm the Messiah! Hallelujah!"
173* His defense of God asking for a Starship, noting that God has asked for some rather bizarre things before:
174-->"Jesus, die on the cross! Abraham, kill your son! Moses, wander through the desert for about 40 years!"
175* The death of "God" by the Klingon Bird-of-Prey:
176-->'''Critic:''' So... a photon torpedo barely hurts it, but a few shots from a tiny, little laser finishes it off?\
177'''Spock (in the Original Series):''' ''(beat)'' Logical.
178* Adding Film/TheThreeStooges theme when Scotty bumps his head.
179* Saying the woman from the previous good ''Franchise/StarTrek'' movie "will later be banished to [[Series/SeventhHeaven the same horrendous realm]] [[Film/StarTrekTheMotionPicture Captain Decker]] was banished to."
180[[/folder]]
181
182[[folder:Star Trek: Generations]]
183* The Critic lampshading his (sometimes) over-reliance on film clips in place of jokes and awkwardly making a reference to a "Sauron" in an obscure comic-book reference instead of the [[Film/TheLordOfTheRings obvious]].
184** And then he runs out of ''Franchise/{{Ghostbusters}}'' jokes.
185* After Kirk meets Sulu's daughter on the ''Enterprise''-B, who says she's heard so many things about Kirk:
186-->'''Critic''': Yes, ''[pulls out a copy of "To the Stars" by Creator/GeorgeTakei]'' like how he originally wanted to be the captain of the ''Excelsior'' in ''Star Trek II'', but you wouldn't let him. Uh, how you didn't show up to Creator/GeneRoddenberry's funeral, that was pretty douchey. And, uh, how you're just an all-round great big prick. It's a fascinating read!
187** And related to this, making fun of the obviously awkward interplay between Kirk and Scotty, and the fact that the two actors are clearly having difficulty hiding their dislike for each other.
188--->'''Critic:''' I'm contractually obliged to like you!
189* "So, as they go out on their first trip, just for a routine test run, there's--say it with me now--'a distress call. They're the only ship in range, and they don't have the proper necessities, but they're going anyway.'" *''smiles proudly''* "I have trained you well."
190* Playing ''Get Ready for This'' when Harriman finally asks Kirk for help.
191* The Critic describes a much saner way to get to the Nexus:
192-->'''Sauron:''' Shuttle, please. '''*cha-ching*''' ''My God,'' was that easy! Hello Nexus, how are you?
193* The "I'm homeless, you moron" look on Chester's face when the Critic remarks that it's not like he needs residuals of the BigLippedAlligatorMoment meme.
194** ''And'' making fun of those who honestly thought ''WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy'' and ''Series/TheBigBangTheory'' would be aware of his existence enough to steal his "live long and suck it" joke.
195* When Geordi is beamed back to the ''Enterprise'' after being held prisoner:
196-->'''Critic (as Geordi):''' Oh, it was terrible. They tried [[ActorAllusion forcing my]] [[Series/Roots1977 name to Toby]].
197** Also, the Critic complaining that he gets groped while passing through airport security, while Geordi doesn't even get searched for spyware after he's returned to the ship.
198* The memorial and gravestone for the little girl's teddy bear. Right next to Balzac's.
199** Even better; it's written as [[SpellMyNameWithAnS BALLSACK]].
200* As Kirk and Picard make eggs with dramatic music:
201-->'''Critic:''' Behold, two of the greatest Starfleet captains of all time making eggs! Only one other thing could top off this epic pairing of awesomeness... ''(Three slices of toast pop out of a toaster)'' [[LargeHam TOAST! WE HAVE TOAST! Ladies and gentlemen, toast! Oh-ho my God, I just soiled myself!]]
202* '''Spot... will live.'''
203* The ending, with the Critic rejoicing that he's nearly made it through ''Star Trek'' Month [[TemptingFate without a cameo from Linkara]]... only to have a screen pop up announcing a crossover with Linkara next week.
204** Double funny when FridgeBrilliance kicks in. He said ''cameo'', not ''crossover''.
205* The RunningGag of the Batman style recaps of the previous film giving up upon realizing that the move to the ''The Next Generation'' era makes it pointless.
206* The great use of Tom's yell from ''WesternAnimation/TomAndJerry'' as Kirk falls down.
207* [[BreathlessNonSequitur "So that's Star Trek Generationsitmakesnosense."]]
208* Just as Picard and Riker beam up from the wreck of the ''Enterprise'' bridge:
209-->'''Picard:''' Picard to ''Farragut''...\
210'''Critic:''' What'd you call me?
211* "Oh, it'll be good to see the ship once agai--Aw, dammit! Number one, I gave you two orders while I was gone! Don't blow up the ship and don't sleep with anything! I thought the ''latter'' would be more probable!"
212* The Critic pointing out that Geordi [[DistressedDude gets kidnapped so much]] you could put him in a cell with Comicbook/{{Robin}}, [[Franchise/TeenageMutantNinjaTurtles April O'Neil]], and [[Franchise/SuperMarioBros Princess Peach]] and he wouldn't be out of place.
213* The subtle HypocriticalHumor that [[SirSwearsALot he]] would take his child out of the ship as soon as any Klingon spoke a bad word.
214* "I just wanted to go to the [[Film/MilkMoney So'op]]!"
215* Remarking that James T. Kirk's last words were in fact... a Creator/GeorgeTakei impression.
216* This exchange regarding an average fan's reaction to the film's technical language:
217-->'''Riker:''' Data, can we blah blah blah the technobabble?\
218'''Data:''' Maybe. If we yadda yadda yadda, there's a chance it'll boomity boomity. It's very unlikely that it'll homina-homina, but we'll give it a shot and of course it'll work.
219--> '''Riker:''' All hands brace for boomity-boomity!
220* After Guinan explains to Picard what the Nexus is and explicitly warns him not to go into it because it's so enjoyable that he'll never want to leave:
221--> '''Critic''': ''(as Picard)'' Well, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to find the Nexus. Sounds friggin' awesome.
222[[/folder]]
223
224[[folder:Star Trek: Insurrection]]
225* The Critic beginning the review running through Kami-Con screaming (pausing to have a Q and A session) and trying to hide from Linkara in WebVideo/ThatSciFiGuy's room. Just when he thinks he's safe, however...a very cross Linkara himself appears on his TV screen, complete with ''[[Film/KillBill Ironside]]'' playing in the background and the most epic [[OhCrap expression of horror]] on the Critic's face.
226-->'''Linkara:''' Hello, Critic. Start the review.\
227'''Critic:''' ''(starts sobbing)''
228* Upon entering the Guy's room:
229-->'''Critic:''' ''(Puts his hand over Sci-Fi Guy's mouth and whispers)'' It's ''him.''\
230'''Guy:''' ''(muffled)'' Who?\
231'''Critic:''' ''(looks around furtively, whispering) Linkara.''\
232'''Guy:''' ''(still muffled)'' Linkara?!\
233'''Critic:''' ''([[HypocriticalHumor loudly]])'' Lower your voice, Sci-Fi Guy!! He can ''smell'' geek...
234** "In ''Franchise/StarTrek'' circles, he's simply known as...''[[ShapedLikeItself Linkara]].''"
235** The awkward pause after the diabolical (and uninterrupted) laughter.
236* Linkara pointing out how the Critic gets facts about films wrong, referencing his mistake from ''Film/BattlefieldEarth''.
237** Also when he starts, Linkara pulls out a ''massive'' stack of papers. Makes you wonder what exactly the errors he found were.
238** And when Linkara pulls out the massive stack of papers, we get a quick shot of Critic making a "oh great, here we go" expression.
239* The Guy's confusion over whether he's in this review or not:
240-->'''The Nostalgia Critic:''' Well, it's kind of just a "duo" thing.\
241'''Guy''': But... it's ''my room''.\
242'''The Nostalgia Critic''': Yeah...\
243''[awkward pause]''\
244'''Guy''': Okay, I guess I'll just go stand silently in the corner. ''[does so]''
245* Any time the Critic screams into the Sci-Fi Guy's pillow and clangs his head inside a garbage can, while going crazy from Linkara's casual geeky nit-picking. Linkara even has access to '''every''' ''Star Trek'' episode so he can show proof of all the inconsistencies of the movie with the show!
246* The Critic wondering whatever happened to the Bolian who appeared in one scene and simply vanished.
247-->'''Critic:''' ''(to music from ''Film/{{Titanic 1997}}'')'' Who ''were'' you, Blue Man...?
248** Just before that:
249--->'''Critic:''' ''(passively)'' Well, maybe we'll learn more about him in the next scene.\
250'''Linkara:''' He doesn't ''have'' a "next scene".
251* "So (Picard) meets up with the [[Film/CharlieAndTheChocolateFactory Oompa-Loompa]] Queen, who then proceeds to partake in the ritual of making bald men look like Dorothy from Film/TheWizardOfOz."
252-->'''Critic:''' But [[WesternAnimation/{{Pocahontas}} Picardahontas]]...\
253'''Linkara:''' I would have gone with Jean-Lucagawea.\
254'''Critic:''' [[ActuallyPrettyFunny Heh. Okay, that's pretty good]].
255* The apparently-pointless attempt at Picard's backstory being interrupted by enemy fire, and the Critic's take on it:
256-->"You know, this reminds me of when I was a little girl in Ala--" *''BOOM!!!''* "Whoa, what was that?!"
257* The Critic fulfilling the "[[Funny/WhatTheFuckIsWrongWithYou One Exploding Head Per Crossover]]" clause of Linkara's contract by asking Data if stem cells, abortion, and the death penalty are morally sound.
258* The "video game":
259-->'''Picard''': Do you think the moving of 600 people to save 800 billion people is ethically sound? ''({{beat}})'' You have selected "Yes". [[ButThouMust You are, of course,]] ''[[ButThouMust wrong]]''; GameOver.
260* "[[BreathlessNonSequitur Thanks for saving us with your technology-by-the-way-we-hate-technology]]."
261* [[Music/RickAstley "Stay with me! Don't let go of this moment!"]]
262* The Critic and Linkara don't even mention that F. Murray Abraham is in this until the review is almost over:
263-->'''Linkara:''' So, in a twist, or at least I think that's what they're calling it, we find out that the dying race, called the Son'a, are the exact same race as the Ba'ku! They just left the planet so they didn't have the healing powers that the Ba'ku had!\
264'''Critic:''' So, as you can see, the ethical standpoint of this movie is so weak, that they had to make up ''other reasons'' to hate the bad guys!\
265'''Linkara:''' Well, you can also tell he's the villain by the fact that he looks like [[Film/{{Amadeus}} Salieri's]] skin melting.\
266'''Critic:''' Oh yeah, I forgot. That's F. Murray Abraham, isn't it?\
267'''Linkara:''' It's okay. I think even ''he'' forgot he was F. Murray Abraham in this picture.
268* The Critic's reaction to the movie's one funny joke:
269-->'''Worf''': The Son'a crew would like to negotiate a ceasefire. It may have something to do with the fact that we only have three minutes of air left.\
270'''Critic''': So bored by the rest of this, I can't even bring myself to laugh at ''that''.
271* When Linkara -- to the Critic's chagrin -- wants to go over ''Star Trek: Nemesis'' after the review, the Guy suggests that he simply turn off the TV. The Critic does so, only to have the ''audience'' demand that he review it.
272* As the Critic turns the TV off, Linkara's [[CurseCutShort reaction]] is priceless (particularly when one recalls part of Linkara's shtick is that he doesn't curse in his reviews).
273-->'''Linkara:''' What the ''fuc--''
274* This bit:
275-->''(after Sci-Fi Guy returns from the corner)''\
276'''Critic:''' I hoped you learned your lesson.\
277'''Guy:''' What lesson? I didn't do any--\
278'''Critic:''' Do you want to go back to the corner?\
279'''Guy:''' ...No...
280* A small one, but apparently, [[NoodleIncident the Amish hate Linkara]].
281[[/folder]]
282
283[[folder:Patch Adams]]
284* The review begins with the Critic being interrupted by [[CloudCuckooLander Dr. Bitch Spasms]]--a parody of Creator/RobinWilliams!Film/PatchAdams--goofing around, throwing a red nose at him, and spin-hopping away cartoonishly while whooping like WesternAnimation/DaffyDuck... which becomes a RunningGag!
285** Hell, pretty much EVERYTHING involving Spasms.
286--->'''Critic:''' Ya know, I'm ''really'' regretting writing this character...
287** Another classic facial expression occurs during one of these scenes. This troper calls it the expression of a wasp that's just been swatted.
288** Which culminates in the Critic shooting him at the end (twice), and reassuring that he will ''not'' be a RecurringCharacter.
289* The [[BritishStuffiness stuffy British]] {{Angrish}} whenever something "most unorthodox", according to the '''big bad establishment''', comes up.
290** "'''''[[LargeHam NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAME???!!!]]'''''"
291** "THE ORTHODOX LEVELS ON THIS ARE MOST UN!!"
292** "We are not on the same level as our patients! ''We'' are '''HEALTHY!'''"
293** "Let me make this clear: there's [=ORTHodox=]... there's UN-orthodox... and there's '''''[[ChewingTheScenery MOST UNORTHODOX!!]]''''' [[ChewingTheScenery ...YOU'RE]] '''''[[ChewingTheScenery HE-]]'''''[[ChewingTheScenery AAAAAH!!!]]"
294** "'''''MOST UNORTHODOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOX!!!'''''"
295* During [[DeanBitterman Dean Walcott's]] EstablishingCharacterMoment (a speech where he says the school aims to "[[StrawVulcan train the humanity]]" out of future doctors), the Critic cuts in the [[ThugDojo Cobra]] [[Film/TheKarateKid Kai]] "an enemy deserves no mercy" speech.
296* During the final confrontation between Patch and Dean Walcott, the Critic quietly plays [[Film/TheLordOfTheRings the leitmotif of the Uruk-hai]].
297* The sequence mocking the "look beyond the problem and focus on the solution" scene involving the Critic suggesting putting out a fire with a banana.
298-->'''Patient:''' A banana's gonna put out a fire?\
299'''Critic:''' Yes, it is.\
300'''Patient:''' But I don't think that's--\
301'''Critic:''' Are you part of the establishment?\
302'''Patient:''' No.\
303'''Critic:''' Then use the banana!\
304''(suddenly, we hear the sound of a flame roaring and the patient screaming)''\
305'''Critic:''' There, now, you see? You didn't believe the banana would work, and that's why you're on fire.
306* Critic saying which he'd prefer: the JerkAss guy recommending amputation, or Patch Adams. Cue Patch Adams pressing his face against a glass window. The Critic decides to go with the JerkAss recommending amputation; "I don't trust [Adams] with a saw!"
307* The Critic's [[BigWhat reaction]] to Adams'... redecorating... of the hospital doors.
308-->"[[Series/SavedByTheBell ZACK MORRIIIIS!!!]]"
309* ''Patch Adams: "He Steals From Hospitals!"''
310** "I wouldn't see that!"
311* The Critic taking a scene and putting it in the corner to save it for later, only for the scene to activate the commercial break.
312* "This is my way of telling you you have cancer!"
313* The introduction of the Traumatic Childhood-Cure Monkey Plushie.
314* The Critic's rage, culminating in both a middle finger and a great big "'''[[AtomicFBomb FUCK... YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU!!!!!!]]'''"
315* [[DontMakeMeTakeMyBeltOff The Critic giving the movie a whippin' with his belt]] after finding out that Carin Fisher was based on a man who was Patch's best friend, and was never molested as a child.
316-->'''Critic:''' BAD MOVIE! I'm so ashamed of you!
317** Before that, Carin's RapeAsBackstory and death leads Critic to try and research who she really was in an attempt to figure out if he can make a joke about it without it being distasteful. He's not pleased with what he finds out.
318--->'''Critic:''' (''frantically browsing the internet on his phone'') Maybe she ''was'' molested. Maybe she ''did'' go through all that horrible stuff. Or maybe she was... (''[[{{Beat}} finds what he was looking for and suddenly stops dead in his tracks]]'') ...A MAN. Who was not romantically interested in Patch ''at all''. In fact, the female character was a complete work of fiction in this movie.
319* This line:
320-->'''Critic:''' If I... stab you... can you promise me that you will not only die, but that it will also hurt?
321* The Critic's impression of Patch's emotionless roommate, Mitch Roman.
322-->'''Critic (as Mitch):''' I hope you, in no way, emotionally change me by the end of this film '''*prolonged repressed snort*'''.
323* "[[TodayXTomorrowTheWorld First we will cure patients, and then,]] ''[[TodayXTomorrowTheWorld the world!]]'' [[EvilLaugh Me-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HE-HEH!]]"
324* The Critic's response to a senile old lady talking about wanting a swimming pool full of noodles.
325-->'''Critic:''' Look up Japanese porn, I'm sure you'll find something.
326* Doubling as a SugarWiki/MomentOfAwesome, the Critic lampshading how [[DoctorJerk uncharacteristically cold]] the non-Patch doctors are in the film.
327-->'''Critic:''' Alright, are you telling me that years and years of medical research and we never put together, until the early seventies, that there's a difference between not being emotionally involved and not being... a ''dick?''
328* In the movie, Patch, at Arthur's behest, defocuses on the latter's fingers so they appear double, after which Arthur tells Patch that he sees what no one else sees and what everyone else chooses not to see for fear, conformity, or laziness.
329-->'''Critic:''' Wow, how inspiring. That was the most original message I've ever seen in a Robin Williams movie since ''Film/GoodMorningVietnam'', ''Film/DeadPoetsSociety'', ''[[Film/TheFisherKing Fisher King]]'', ''[[Film/Jack1996 Jack]]'', ''Film/GoodWillHunting'', ''[[Film/BeingHuman Being Human]]'', ''Film/JakobTheLiar'', ''Film/{{Flubber}}'', ''Film/BicentennialMan'', and ''Film/ManOfTheYear'', [[SarcasmMode but I'm]] ''[[SarcasmMode sure]]'' [[SarcasmMode this Robin Williams movie has a]] ''[[SarcasmMode totally]]'' [[SarcasmMode different spin on it!]]
330* [[SarcasmMode "I can]] ''[[SarcasmMode clearly]]'' [[SarcasmMode see that this movie is going to represent people in an accurate and realistic manner. No stereotypes or manipulative portrayals here. This movie's like watching real life!"]]
331* During Patch's big speech in the courtroom, the Critic brings up Carin's death when Patch argues that there's nothing wrong with death:
332-->'''Board member:''' Did you consider the ramifications of your actions? What if one of your patients had died?\
333'''Patch:''' What's wrong with death, sir?\
334'''Critic:''' Did a man who wants to save lives really just say that?\
335'''Patch:''' Why can't we treat death with a certain amount of humanity and dignity and decency and, God forbid, maybe even humor?\
336'''Critic (as Patch):''' I know ''I'' had a good laugh when my nonexistent girlfriend croaked.
337** As Patch continues his speech, the Critic notes that he uses so many cliched lines: "As God is my witness", "Then I am guilty as charged", "I've lost everything, but also gained everything", "You can't control my spirit" and "The best damn doctor the world has ever seen".
338--->'''Critic:''' ''(glancing at a sheet of paper)'' Oh, wait! You forgot [[Film/JerryMaguire "You complete me"]] and [[Film/LoveStory "Love means never having to say you're sorry"]].
339[[/folder]]
340
341[[folder:200th Episode: Ponyo]]
342* The title card isn't related to Ponyo at all: just the Critic being surrounded by a faceless angry mob.
343* His 200th review opens with the Critic in his panel, announcing what he's reviewing... and is mobbed by angry fans in response! He [[ScreamsLikeALittleGirl screams like a girl]] as they run toward him.
344-->'''Mob behind the door''': *''chanting''* [[Theatre/JesusChristSuperstar Crucify him! Crucify him! Crucify him...!]]
345* Regarding Sosuke's nonchalant response to a bizarre scene:
346-->'''Critic:''' (as Sosuke) I'm desensitized by seizure-inducing Asian cartoons.
347* Creator/LittleKuriboh's cameo, where he beats the Critic senseless with a baseball bat for reviewing ''Anime/{{Ponyo|On The Cliff By The Sea}}'' (in spite of the Critic making it clear early in the review that he likes it), while going on about why it was a good movie - completely in deadpan.
348** A large part of what makes [=LittleKuriboh=]'s cameo hilarious is the [[TranquilFury subtle sort of grace]] with which he seems to clobber the Critic, as if this is something he practices and does on a [[ButForMeItWasTuesday regular basis]]. Also the HypocriticalHumor at the end, [[WebVideo/YugiohTheAbridgedSeries given his claim to fame]].
349-->'''[=LittleKuriboh=]''': And ''{{Anime/Ponyo|On The Cliff By The Sea}}'' is fantastic, just like any Japanese Anime.
350** Creator/SpikeSpencer continues the RunningGag of torturing the Critic by planting a grenade in the Critic's pants during a mutual TheKnightsWhoSaySquee conversation! In other words: [[Anime/NeonGenesisEvangelion Shinji]] finally snapped.
351** And then Creator/UncleYo goes by the RuleOfThree by shooting him multiple times after pretending to agree with him, just to be a troll.
352* "[[BrickJoke That's a]] [[Film/{{Godzilla 1998}} lot of fish]]."
353* "'''''[[EvilSoundsDeep PONYO WANTS HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!]]'''''"
354** "'''''[[LargeHam HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]]'''''"
355** All of the Demon!Ponyo impressions, really.
356** "Oh... ''ohh!'' It tastes like the ''deceased!''" ~Demon!Ponyo, on ham.
357** "By the demons of the sea I will have HAAAAAAAAM!"
358** The epic demon stare-down between Demon!Ponyo and the baby.
359* "[[Music/RideOfTheValkyries Po-o-o-onyo, Po-o-o-onyo, Po-o-o-onyo]], [[KillAllHumans Destroyer of Man!!]]"
360* Any time the Critic calls out Lisa's [[DrivesLikeCrazy crazy driving]].
361** "If you want to drive like [[Series/SaturdayNightLive Toonces the Cat]], that's fine! But spare the life of the little [[Film/TheThreeStooges Moe Howard]] here, would ya?"
362** "''[[Anime/SpeedRacer ... Go, Speed Racer, gooo!]]''"
363** The off-screen sounds added over a wide shot of her driving into the woods.
364-->"'''[[Film/AFishCalledWanda ASSHOOOOLE!!!]]'''"
365* When Fushimoto says the moon is going to fall to Earth, he points at it and it's been replaced by the moon from ''[[Videogame/TheLegendOfZeldaMajorasMask Majora's Mask]]''.
366* [[CelebrityVoiceActor Fushi]][[Creator/LiamNeeson moto]] telling Sōsuke that if he fails to take care of Ponyo, "[[Film/{{Taken}} he will look for [him], he will find [him], and he will kill [him].]]"
367* "[[DullSurprise Hey Sosuke, have you seen my soul?]]"
368* "Wow, he said that pretty nonchalantly. I wonder if that's a normal question to ask someone whose been to the surface."
369-->'''Critic Fujimoto''': Did you have fun?\
370'''Critic Ponyo''': Yeah!\
371'''Critic Fushimoto''': Did you take a lot of pictures?\
372'''Critic Ponyo''': Yeah!\
373'''Critic Fushimoto''': [[BreadEggsMilkSquick Did you taste blood?]]\
374'''Critic Ponyo''': Yeah--I mean, ''no''!\
375'''Critic Fushimoto''': Oh! You did, you tasted blood! *''both laugh''*\
376'''Critic Ponyo''': ... Yeah.\
377'''Critic Fushimoto''': Who did you kill?\
378'''Critic Ponyo''': A Kardashian.\
379'''Critic Fushimoto''': [[TakeThat Oh, well that's okay.]]
380* "I mean, I know she's using her demon powers to wipe out mankind. [[SkewedPriorities But still, my son and her might get along.]]"
381* The Critic is trying very, very hard not to reference the 2011 tsunami in Japan, at one point looking over his shoulder to find that [[RunningGag the Elephant in the Room]] is there, just silently staring at him.
382* Describing the way Fushimoto looks when Sōsuke's mother first sees him as "If Creator/TimBurton directed a movie version of ''[[VideoGame/SuperMarioSunshine Mario Sunshine]]''."
383** Later on, he describes him as [[WesternAnimation/TheNightmareBeforeChristmas "The Nightmare Before]] [[Creator/HPLovecraft Cthulhu."]]
384* The ending, with the Critic finally convincing the con-goers about how ''Ponyo is'' a good movie, and the fans seem mollified! ... Until he slips the tongue on how inferior he thinks ''Anime/HowlsMovingCastle'' is. He is once again clobbered by the angry mob. [[SoundtrackDissonance Over the ''Ponyo'' theme song.]]
385** Someone attacking him with a Pikachu doll at the very end.
386** Someone else attacking him with a CompanionCube.
387** Others [[ContinuityNod using]] a ''Film/BatmanAndRobin'' and ''Film/AloneInTheDark2005'' DVD on him.
388** Even the WebVideo/AngryVideoGameNerd is here, and he's pissed!
389** One of them is using a Green Bay Packers hat.
390* "There's no time, Creator/MichaelBay it!"
391** And, of course, "[[NotWhatItLooksLike Here's a caption contest for you.]] See what you come up with. I'm curious."
392*** [[https://www.deviantart.com/thecrazyoneofthegang/art/ham-eating-fish-beasts-ruined-my-jokes-286459449 Ask, and ye shall receive, Critic.]]
393* On Ponyo's mother:
394-->"Macrophiliacs are creaming themselves right now. Don't know what that is? Uhh... [[SchmuckBait don't look it up]]." *''beat''* "[[GenreSavvy Stop going to the Google bar!]]"
395* The scene when Sosuke's mom talks with his dad via searchlights/Morse Code:
396--> '''Mom:''' BUG OFF BUG OFF
397--> '''Dad:''' AT LEAST YOU GET MORE THAN 4 LINES IN THIS MOVIE
398* The Critic going "[[GratuitousJapanese Kawaii!!]] ''[[CutenessProximity Kawaii!!]]''" in response to "Cuteness Overload".
399[[/folder]]
400
401[[folder:Dunston Checks In]]
402* The Critic cutting off his own opening line mid-sentence to yell "Monkeys aren't funny!"
403* Demonstrating how water humor works, and then getting punched by a giant arm with a boxing glove.
404* The Cliche Checklist with Jason Alexander and the boys.
405-->'''Critic:''' And let me guess, he's the boys'--\
406''(text saying "[[LukeIAmYourFather Father]]" with picture of [[Franchise/StarWars Darth Vader]] appears)''\
407'''Critic:''' --and the mother is--\
408''(text saying "[[MissingMom Kaput]]" with picture of [[WesternAnimation/{{Bambi}} Bambi's mother]] appears)''\
409'''Critic:''' --and the great big fancy party is happening--\
410''(text saying "Tomorrow" with picture of Theatre/{{Annie}} appears)''\
411'''Critic:''' --and the odds of any plot device being original in this movie is--\
412''(text saying "Zero" with picture of [[VideoGame/MegaManX Zero]] appears)''\
413'''Critic:''' Could you just fax me the disappointment I'm going to receive?
414* The Critic getting excited at the prospect of a character's dog actually ''dying''--only to be incredibly disappointed when instead, it lands in a trashbin for another "messy" joke.
415* The return of the Traumatic Childhood-Cure Monkey Plushie.
416-->"...[[ImGoingToHellForThis I'm going to Hell]]..."
417* The Critic's disgust with the cliched "mistakes monkey for another human in their bed" joke, cracking that it's been around since the [[Film/TwoThousandOneASpaceOdyssey dawn of Man]]:
418-->*''A group of chattering apes cluster around a pillar''*\
419'''Ape A:''' Hey guys, I totally think we should do a bit where a guy sleeps in bed with a monkey and he doesn't know it.\
420'''Ape B:''' I dunno, that sounds like it might get old fast.\
421'''Ape A:''' SHUT THE FUCK UP!!! *''clobbers B with a bone club''* We're also gonna put babies in Super Bowl commercials! That will ''never'' get old!\
422'''Other Apes:''' Babies? ''Genius!'' Can we make them [[TakeThat horribly lip-sync?]]\
423'''Ape A:''' YES...''WE''...'''CAN!!!!'''
424* Playing a clip from ''WesternAnimation/TheCritic'' that mocks "mistaking a monkey for a human" scenes during Faye Dunaway's massage.
425* His reaction to the PaperThinDisguise:
426-->"[[Franchise/{{Superman}} Man with glasses?]] Fools them. [[Franchise/TeenageMutantNinjaTurtles Turtle with hat?]] Fools them. Chimp in chair? '''[[Film/EdWood BULLSHIT!!!]]'''"
427* The Critic [[DamnedByFaintPraise remarking that Rupert Everett's character is somehow more subtle]] than the Duke from ''Film/MoulinRouge''
428[[/folder]]
429
430[[folder:Thomas and the Magic Railroad]]
431* The Critic wonders why none of the trains' mouths move when they talk, and illustrates how even ''he'', using cheap tools, can produce a more convincing special effect.
432-->'''Critic:''' ''(as Thomas)'' Say, why is the town we live in called "Sodor"? Is it the retirement home for ''[[Literature/TheLordOfTheRings Lord of the Rings]]'' villains?
433-->'''Critic:''' ''(as Gordon)'' I'm just trying to put together how we procreate. I mean, do trains have sperm?
434-->'''Critic:''' ''(as Thomas)'' Goodness gracious me.
435* "Sparkle, Sparkle, Sparkle!"
436** "FUCK ''YEAH'', SPARKLE SPARKLE, SPARKLE!!"
437* The intro summarizing the film like a piece of OscarBait until he gets to ''Thomas the Tank Engine'' and wonders why Thomas is in a movie with [[QuestionableCasting Peter Fonda and Alec Baldwin]]...until he's told it's the exact opposite.
438-->"'''WHA--'''" *''interrupted by title''*
439* The Critic's [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ovcUgFxV_GQ "Generic Song"]].
440* His reaction to the Conductor [[NoFourthWall telling the audience]] "And by the way, I think you're going to help me and Thomas somewhere in this story!" is that it's [[ImpliedDeathThreat suspiciously vague]], comparing it to...
441-->'''Critic [[Series/BarneyAndFriends Barney]]''': I love you, you love me- [[OOCIsSeriousBusiness some shit's goin' down! Be ready for it!]] - We're a happy fa-mi-ly!
442* His constant naming of the show as "Thomas the ''[[PrecisionFStrike Fucking]]'' Tank Engine".
443* A little version of Doug appears, offering to take the Critic to "Cordor", which turns out to be exactly like the real world except for a mask that can smell garlic chicken spring rolls.
444** "'''''Yum.'''''"
445*** "(deadpan) This isn't really magical."
446*** The way the Critic looks into the camera and shakes his head afterward, like he's in a bad PSA.
447* As Creator/AlecBaldwin appears in front of Stacy Jones, she just acts naturally, prompting the Critic to say:
448-->'''Critic:''' Uh...heh heh. No, lady. The proper response is "AAAAHHHHH!!! DEMON!! ''DEMON!!!'' '''AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!'''"
449** This is even funnier when you realize that Stacy actually did have this sort of reaction in an actual episode of Shining Time Station (though she had amnesia at the time).
450* His reaction to the first Alec Baldwin breakdown:
451-->'''Critic:''' No, you need to try the anti-psychotics, honey...
452** Later, he's convinced that it ''would'' be an OscarBait film, but after filming Alec Baldwin's breakdowns, they decided to make a kid's film.
453** The Critic's [[ReactionShot reaction shots]] to Baldwin's scenes are priceless!
454* How he looks ready to cry at the thought of only existing as Creator/AlecBaldwin's delusion, the irony being that he ''is'' just [[Creator/DougWalker someone's]] persona.
455* The ending, with the "Sparkle, Sparkle, Sparkle!" guy ending up in the Critic's house and the two of them going [[HoYay offscreen all friendly]].
456* Freeze-framing on Alec Baldwin "accidentally" flipping off the camera to grab a pair of shears.
457* After Baldwin lands safely on some bags, he tells the audience that they put those there. The Critic's reaction:
458-->'''Critic:''' (''horrified expression'') Am ''I'' Alec Baldwin's delusion?! '''Is this ''all'' Alec Baldwin's delusion?!'''
459** The Critic then comments that the same thing could be done with any movie.
460--->'(shows [[Film/ANewHope Death Star]] blowing up)''\
461'''Critic:''' You did that! ''You!''\
462''(shows [[Film/{{Scarface 1983}} Tony Montana]] getting killed)''\
463'''Critic:''' You did that! ''You!''\
464''(shows [[Literature/TheTwilightSaga Edward saving Bella]] from an oncoming car)''\
465'''Critic:''' You did that! ''You''! ''(beat)'' [[TakeThat For shaaaame!]]
466* His increasingly exasperated reaction to Creator/PeterFonda's {{Wangst}}.
467** "''[[TookTheBadFilmSeriously IT'S THOMAS THE]] '''[[TookTheBadFilmSeriously FUCKING]]''' [[TookTheBadFilmSeriously TANK ENGINE!!!]]''"
468** That is, of course, until Fonda gets over his Wangst and proceeds to deliver a line to the film's villain in a ''ridiculously'' bad way:
469--->'''Fonda:''' No, you won't! Because the magic you ''refuse'' to believe in... will get the ''better'' of you!\
470'''Critic:''' ''(pause)'' You know what? Go back to being depressed... I think I like you better that way.
471* [[Film/IndianaJonesAndTheTempleOfDoom "Prepare to meet]] [[TakeThat Amtrak!]] In Hell!"
472* The RunningGag of the Critic wondering if trains have sperm and if they reproduce.
473** "I mean, do trains have ''sperrrm??''"
474* When Diesel 10 threatens to dominate the steam engines, the Critic (naturally) takes it sexually and has a small thinly-veiled whine about always being bottom.
475* As Creator/AlecBaldwin has his mental breakdown, he says that "it's totally understandable, but not always acceptable". He then says to "look at how we reacted when Percy came in late". Cue the Critic editing Alec Baldwin's phone rant with his daughter with an image of the Conductor and Percy.
476-->'''Critic:''' Don't piss off Mr Conductor.
477* When Baldwin lets out a little scream near the end, the Critic remarks that he finally sobered-up and realized what movie he was in.
478* The Critic imagining would it be like if Peter Fonda hosted a child's birthday party.
479-->'''Critic Peter Fonda:''' The pinata is dead and you killed him.
480[[/folder]]
481
482[[folder:The Top 11 Nostalgia Critic F***-Ups Part 3]]
483* Even though he admits that he did not know that hitting the aquarium glass ''does'' disturb and scare whales, the Critic still wonders why they didn't just put up a "Do Not Tap Glass You Little Idiots" sign.
484* The Critic saying that he has nothing against floors after being accused of an anti-groundite
485** "[[SomeOfMyBestFriendsAreX Some of my best friends are floors."]]
486** "Apparently floors can fire guns. *''{{Beat}}''* I did ''not'' know that."
487* The IronicEcho of the ''Film/BattlefieldEarth'' freakout, first complaining about the film again and then screeching incomprehensibly about everyone being awful in [[{{undercrank}} chipmunk]] [[LetsPlay/{{Raocow}} time]]. It culminates in Douchey having an EvenEvilHasStandards moment, deciding not to make him not do fuck-up lists anymore and even closing the episode for him.
488** Over the Channel Awesome logo, which normally plays the worst line of the reviewed movie, the Critic is still chipmunk-screaming about ''Battlefield Earth''.
489** This scene.
490--->'''Critic:''' You know, it just hit me. Why don't you come on as a fact checker?\
491'''Douchey:''' '''''NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'''''\
492'''Critic:''' Why not?\
493'''Douchey:''' ''Because then I couldn't complain about it!''
494* The Critic confirming that Dr. Bitch Spasms is KilledOffForReal. He pauses after he mentions his name. Nothing happens, and then knows full well that the audience ''[[TemptingFate expected]]'' him to appear, but in reality, his corpse is still lying on the floor.
495-->"...I should ''really'' do something about that corpse."
496* After going over the screwup from ''Film/StarTrekGenerations'' (Dr. Soran couldn't just fly into the Nexus with a ship), the Critic hints at screwups from the ''Film/StarTrekInsurrection'' review. He summons Linkara, who bluntly replies:
497-->"There's a commentary. *''link appears''* Boom. Go listen to it. Sorry about some of the audio issues."
498* The Critic and Douchey almost having a bonding moment...over ''[[NutritionalNightmare incredibly]]'' [[{{Squick}} unhealthy food.]]
499** What, haven't you ever had sugar frosted burrito stuffed hot pockets?
500* "People. I am here to make jokes. Calm the fuck ''down.''"
501* On [[Literature/TheTwilightSaga Bella:]] "I guess that means we can like her now, right?" *''cue long, awkward silence''*
502[[/folder]]
503
504[[folder:Richie Rich]]
505* The Critic commenting on the kids chosen to be Richie's friends:
506-->'''Critic:''' ''(deep voice)'' And God said unto Noah, "Bring me one of every stereotype, and you will have your crappy 90s movie," and Noah said--\
507'''[[WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment Spoony]]:''' ''(visibly annoyed)'' ''No!''\
508'''Critic:''' [[BoltOfDivineRetribution And God struck him down with lightning]]. The End.
509** Followed by the ending credits to ''Film/TheSilenceOfTheLambs'' set to the ''Series/DiffrentStrokes'' theme.
510** "[[FiveTokenBand The]] [[TokenMinority token black kid]], [[FiveTokenBand the token fat kid, the token cool kid]], [[TheSmurfettePrinciple and the token girl...]]kid."
511** The scene when the stereotypes visit Richie's home;
512--->'''Black Kid:''' Whoa, this ain't a house, it's a whole hood!\
513'''Critic:''' ''(cheerfully)'' I'm the black one!\
514'''Butler:''' Lunch is served.\
515'''Fat Kid:''' ''(excited/overjoyed)'' Lunch?!\
516'''Critic:''' I'm the fat one, I have no identity, besides food.
517* The [=McDonald's=] product placement:
518-->'''Critic:''' I believe that's bad screenwriting for "insert your plug here". ''(cue commercial break)'' '''NO GODDAMNI--'''
519** When it returns, the Critic uses a grenade to stop a Creator/BillCosby jell-o puddin' pop commercial.
520--->"Jell-O Puddin' Pop is the best kind of puddin' pop...[[OhCrap Oh my goodness, a grenade]]. *'''''BOOM!!!'''''*
521--->(NC is dusting his hands off)
522--->'''NC''': Enough of those!
523* "[[Film/ThereWillBeBlood I. Drink. Your. Milkshake!!!]]"
524* When Professor Keenbean says with a mouth full of food, "[[MondegreenGag MY INVENTIONS]]!"
525-->'''Critic:''' "Mayan Vengeance?" \
526'''Critic:''' "Mighty Pensions?" \
527'''Critic:''' "Ma's Infections??" \
528'''Critic:''' "Marty's Steakhouse??" \
529'''Critic:''' "''CHEW!''"
530* "[[Film/CitizenKane Rosebud...]]"
531* His comments on Culkin's deepening voice and how he sounds like a sped-up Sylvester Stallone.
532* [[SophisticatedAsHell "Like a motherfucking boss, sir."]]
533* "[[SarcasmMode Don't you just love]] [[NightmareFuel early CGI]] technology that [[SugarWiki/VisualEffectsOfAwesome tries to look hip]], but instead [[SpecialEffectsFailure gives you diarrhea of fear]]?"
534** "And why do his pupils get bigger? It's like he's looking to suck out my soul!"
535** "[[VideoGame/SuperMario64 It's-a ME!]] [[Creator/FoodNetwork Mario]] [[CelebrityResemblance Batali]]!"
536* His spazz-out regarding the "NOT!" line.
537* The Critic recuts the ''Film/{{Moneyball}}'' trailer for if Billy Beane completely screwed up and failed.
538* This:
539-->'''Van Dough:''' Shit.\
540'''Critic:''' [[AvoidTheDreadedGRating There's your PG-rating, folks.]]
541* His admitting that two lines about where the Riches keep their money ("In banks... where else?") and an annoyed Van Dough going "Shoot them! Shoot them now please!" were ActuallyPrettyFunny.
542** Earlier, he'd been about to make fun of the exchange about the President of the US asking for a loan [[UnintentionalPeriodPiece for dating the movie]], before hesitating and realizing that said joke was [[FairForItsDay actually kind of timeless]].
543* And his reaction when Richie is offered a seat by the CorruptCorporateExecutive... only to ignore it and sit down behind the desk instead.
544-->'''Critic''': Okay. I'm not gonna lie... that was pretty badass.
545[[/folder]]
546
547[[folder:Jungle 2 Jungle]]
548* The whole framing device, where the Critic is [[WildlifeCommentarySpoof hosting a National Geographic special]].
549* The RunningGag of the pigeon woman's scream.
550* Martin Short's Oscar moments.
551* Placing the Disney logo over [[WhatDoYouMeanItsForKids risque moments]].
552-->'''Critic''': You laugh, but then you ask, “Am I going to Hell for laughing at that?”
553* Comparing the jokes to unfunny episodes of ''Series/HomeImprovement''.
554** Then comparing them to the Geico Cavemen show.
555--->'''Critic''': You totally forgot that existed, didn't you?
556*** [[FridgeBrilliance Even funnier when you do research]] and discover that the kid in this movie grew up to be in the Caveman show.
557* The Critic throwing rocks at pets to see if the owners will respond with playful laughter, like in the movie. They do not; instead they throw knives.
558* His PSA to writers to stop putting the word "angel" in screenplays and putting characters that are angels in movies, since those always seem to do poorly. Unless they're doing a [[CallBack parody of]] ''Film/ItsAWonderfulLife''. His proof makes it surprisingly legit!
559* His [[FunWithAcronyms explanation]] for how a movie with a jungle boy connects to the Russian Mafia: The...
560-->'''L'''oyalty of the stock holders was at risk so they...\
561'''A'''sk people around who have money, they all have...\
562'''Z'''any solutions but one seemed...\
563'''I'''nvestment worthy with...\
564'''N'''o backfires at all so they...\
565'''E'''ntered into a deal of business with them,\
566'''S'''neakily and...\
567'''S'''moothly.
568* His call back to the "pot and pan" confusion in his recent F***-Ups video.
569* When Mimi peeks at a naked Charlotte under the bed:
570-->'''Mimi-Siku''': Nice pushibushi.
571-->'''Charlotte''': That is the last pushibushi you're gonna see around here, you little savage!
572-->'''Critic''': Ah, yes, this is yet another classic Disney phrase that'll make it in the Disney archives. "Hakuna Matata" means "No worries," "Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah" means "What a Wonderful Day," and "pushibushi" means "Vagina." I can see that on children's shirts in a millisecond.
573* "The Russian Mafia is scared away by a spider." *''beat''* "I wish I was exaggerating that."
574* The Critic calling Mimi-Siku "[[WesternAnimation/{{Pocahontas}} Poca-hunk-as]]" at one point.
575[[/folder]]
576
577[[folder:Old vs. New: Red Dragon]]
578* The Critic getting distracted by the old cereals when the father is talking to the son about being in a mental hospital in ''Manhunter'', also serving as a nice CallBack to cereal being his TrademarkFavoriteFood.
579** "Have Life and Grape Nuts EVER changed their logo!?"
580* The Critic noticing Frankie Faison (who played recurring character Barney Matthews) also appeared in Manhunter as a cop, like he's in two different dimensions. Cue Series/DoctorWho reference.
581* The bit where he introduces the segment discussing the different versions of the Tooth Fairy...which then cuts to a poster of the Fox film starring Dwayne Johnson.
582** "Man, wouldn't ''that'' have been a different film!"
583* He ends his review by repeating Hannibal's famous line, and then we cut to him poshly ordering the food from a take-out.
584** Which is then followed by Casper [[ChekhovsGag jumping out of the phone]] [[JumpScare and attacking him]].
585[[/folder]]
586
587[[folder:Star Chaser: The Legend of Orin]]
588* The Opening shtick for the review: in short, the Critic's still convinced [[WebVideo/BennettTheSage Sage]] is The Devil.
589** It doesn't help that Sage is still wearing the cloak, too...
590--->'''Critic:''' You don't review things that are well...''you'' [[AxCrazy are not well!]] ''(later)'' Oh no, I've seen the stuff you review. You're not gonna make me review [[Manga/MadBull34 cops with grenades tied to their pubes]] or something!\
591'''Sage:''' Critic, have a little more faith in me than that. If I showed you something from my...personal collection, it'd probably kill you. [[PragmaticVillainy If you die]], [[CruelMercy then I'd have nobody to play with]]. *''SlasherSmile''*
592** There's also the fact that Night on Bald Mountain is playing during the Opening.
593* "[[Film/TheRoom2003 Oh hai]], [''Franchise/StarWars'' character [[{{Expy}} being ripped-off]]]!"
594** ''(rubbing eyes)'' Son of a bitch, it ''is'' 3PO!
595** Even better:
596--->'''Critic:''' Oh hi, Boba Fett!\
597'''Sage:''' Nope.\
598''("Boba" takes off their helmet)''.\
599'''Critic:''' Oh hi, [[SamusIsAGirl Leia!]]
600* Later on when Orin cuts a steel door with his sword, it cuts to Qui-Gon Jinn [[RecursiveAdaptation doing the same]] in Film/ThePhantomMenace. They almost question it but write it off as a coincidence.
601* The stupid guards:
602-->'''Orin:''' Guard, I have something for you!\
603'''Critic Guard:''' Oh boy, oh boy, I hope it is candy-- ''(gets stabbed)'' That is not candy.
604* The Sage telling the Critic that the company that distributed the movie to theaters also distributed Film/TheGarbagePailKidsMovie... leading into the commercial break below.
605* The Sage's creepy bit before the adverts, as he seems to get off on the Critic's wailing and getting out a bottle of baby cream... only to [[SubvertedTrope rub it on his arms, defensively saying he has crusty elbows]].
606* Describing the little blind boy's voice as someone imitating a whining voice... quickly followed by a CallBack to his ''Film/BatmanAndRobin'' review.
607* Noting the main villain's name is Zygon, with references to [[Series/DoctorWho the Zygons]] and Theatre/MissSaigon.
608* [[Film/{{Spaceballs}} "I found it in a Cracker Jack box!"]]
609* After Sage starts talking about fan theories:
610-->'''Critic:''' Wait, wait, wait, wait...This movie has ''fans''?\
611'''Sage:''' Yeah. In fact, just recently it's been announced that plans are being made for a live-action remake.\
612'''Critic:''' (''beat'') ...They ''did'' that; [[WholePlotReference it was called]] ''[[FollowTheLeader STAR WARS]]''!!
613* The Critic's reactions to the robot probing scene.
614** To elaborate, the Han Solo-Ripoff has inexplicably stolen a fembot and is trying to reprogram it. The ship ([=C3PO=]) then tells him that the personality controls are in the "posterior".
615--->'''Fembot:''' You wouldn't dare...\
616'''Critic:''' He's not ''really'' going to...\
617'''Sage:''' Oh, he's going to. See that look on his face? That's the look of a man who's about to plunder him some ass.
618** [[{{Brainwashed}} She then]] [[BrainBleach becomes a]] {{Sexbot}}.
619* "Well, that seals it! We went from Franchise/StarWars to [[ParallelPornTitles Star]] ''[[ParallelPornTitles Whores]]'' in a matter of seconds!"
620** "Oh, it just gets better and better. Give it a few more seconds, and we'll have a [[WebVideo/TheCinemaSnob Cinema Snob]] review."
621*** To explain this joke a little better, the Han Solo-Ripoff, after giving the "ass-plundering" look, she begins to struggle and he simply [[BoundAndGagged takes a piece of tape and spreads it across her lips]] then continues with his work.
622* The Critic's lackluster reaction to The Sage's review threat:
623-->"It looks kinda stupid and silly, but not awful. No, I'm not afraid!"\
624"Oh, you ''will'' be..."
625** The Sage's final review threat at the end of the video: [[WesternAnimation/TheTransformers the Transformers cartoon]].
626--->'''Critic:''' ...[[ThreatBackfire Cool]].
627* Some weird robot creature crawls out of the swamp Orin found himself in. Cut to the Critic asking:
628-->'''Critic:''' Sage, what's [[NightmareFuel that]]?\
629'''Sage:''' Hell if I know.\
630'''Critic:''' It looks like it crawled out of the asshole of H.R. Geiger's nightmare.\
631'''Sage:''' Nooooo, ''this'' looks like it crawled out of the asshole of H.R. Geiger's nightmare.\
632''(cut to the robo-monster with [[Film/TheLordOfTheRings creepy music]] in the background)''\
633'''Sage:''' It's the eyes, isn't it?\
634'''Critic:''' [-The eyes! What's up with the eyes-]?!
635** "[[Film/WhoFramedRogerRabbit When I killed your brother, I talked]] ''[[HeliumSpeech JUST...LIKE...THIIIIIIS!!!!!]]''"
636*** "So, [[NightmareFuel my new nightmares for the week]] take Orin prisoner..."
637[[/folder]]
638
639[[folder:Raiders of the Story Arc: Transformers]]
640* The Critic as Optimus Prime asking if they want to see more explosions/giant robots/racial stereotypes/hot women objectified at a convention. When he asks if anyone wants to see more Shia [=LaBeouf=], only one person cheers.
641-->"All right, all right, so there ''may'' be some hope for you yet."
642** And before that, the Critic as [[TheNarrator Victor Caroli]] detailing how low the ''Transformers'' franchise has fallen since their [[DealWithTheDevil contract]] with Creator/MichaelBay, as well as the upcoming ''Ninja Turtles'' film.
643** ''Transformers 4: Explosion of the Boobs''.
644* WebVideo/TheCinemaSnob as Critic Prime's agent, Jerry, and their conversation:
645-->'''Critic Prime:''' Christ, Jerry. Did you see the look on their faces when I mentioned the movie? All that misguided optimism; it's like telling a blind kid they're gonna pet a bunny when really, it's a porcupine.\
646'''Jerry:''' Look, the product sells and you're still popular.\
647'''Critic Prime:''' So is ''Series/JerseyShore''.\
648'''Jerry:''' Your last film grossed $1,123,000,000 worldwide.\
649'''Critic Prime:''' But at what cost, Jerry? ''At what cost?!''\
650'''Jerry:''' I told you: [[ComicallyMissingThePoint $1,123,000,000 worldwide]]. Now get some sleep, we've got some more auditions to get through. [[HookersAndBlow I'm gonna go do coke off a prostitute who's also doing coke in a hot tub]].\
651'''Critic Prime:''' That's not physically possible.\
652'''Jerry:''' I'll find a way.
653* Bill Cosby as Jazz.
654* On the subject of [[TheStarscream Starscream]]:
655-->"You know, I'm aware of the phrase, 'Keep your friends close, and keep your enemies closer.' Me personally, I'm a fan of, 'Keep your friends close, and [[JustShootHim kill the son of a bitch]] [[ChronicBackstabbingDisorder who's been betraying you every single chance he gets]].' It is the Autobot way!"
656** His theory on why Megatron ''still'' keeps Starscream around despite all that: he makes great cookies.
657*** He even turns it into a RunningGag!
658-->'''Starscream:''' Starscream Cookies are more than meets the icing!
659-->'''Megatron:''' You're ''wrong'', Starscream!
660-->'''Starscream:''' I'm ''always'' wrong!
661* His reaction to Megatron saying that Starscream has learned nothing when Starscream betrays him again.
662-->'''HE''' learned nothing!? If there was a ''book'' on how to learn nothing, '''YOUR''' picture would be on the back of it! I can't believe we lost Cybertron to these bozos!
663* On the classic transforming sound:
664-->"Admit it, you could listen to that sound effect for ''hours''. If you could choose the sound of your orgasm, it would be that sound and you know it."
665** Cue the sound being edited into the "fake orgasm" scene from ''Film/WhenHarryMetSally.''
666* The list of unused Autobot names.
667* "[[WesternAnimation/BatmanTheAnimatedSeries HIT HIM WITH A ROCK!!]]"
668* Spike's new moniker of "Pussy-Pillow".
669** And how he got it, trying to save Sparkplug from Rumble by punching him in the back. Rumble looks back for a full second before slapping Spike away like a fly.
670-->[[Film/{{Commando}} "Fuck]] ''[[Film/{{Commando}} you]]''[[Film/{{Commando}} , asshole!"]]
671* Soundwave wanting CharacterDepth. Which included an epic rant that clocked in at about a full ''[[OverlyLongGag two minutes]]''.
672-->'''Megatron:''' Soundwave, ready the army!\
673'''Soundwave:''' No -- I am tired of doing all the work and having no personality -- I want a StoryArc -- [[CharacterDevelopment something that gives me depth]] -- I want a romance -- yes -- a RomanticComedy -- perhaps a relationship with a toaster -- the toaster can be stuck up and high class -- I will be quirky and giving in to all sorts of antics -- [[BelligerentSexualTension at first she doesn't like me — but then — she admires my silly charm]] -- we get to know each other better -- [[ThirdActMisunderstanding but then she discovers — I was keeping a secret the whole time]] -- I try to explain I held this secret because I love her -- but she is too emotional and filled with hate -- so she decides to marry the snob -- [[DisposableFiance a real uptight guy]] with no funny lines -- [[WeddingDeadline she is about to be wed at the altar]] -- [[SpeakNowOrForeverHoldYourPeace but then — I come stumbling in — after going through some sort of comedic chase — I plead myself to her]] -- and at first -- it looks like she's not buying it -- but then -- her eyes tear up -- she turns around -- gives me a hug -- the snobby groom is angry -- but then -- my comedic {{sidekick}} comes in and punches him -- the crowd cheers -- I tell the toaster I love her -- she says she loves me -- we decide to get married but we do not show it on screen because two weddings would just be repetitive -- so we end with kind of an open ending -- something like we're driving a convertible into the sunset or something -- this leaves it open for a sequel -- I want to be played by Creator/ZacEfron -- and Creator/NataliePortman as the toaster -- there is a bit of an age difference but I think she looks young enough she can pull it off -- Creator/{{Disney}} has shown interest -- Gary Marshall is attached to direct -- it will be called ''Soundwaves of the Heart'' -- [[AvoidTheDreadedGRating it will be rated PG-13 for crude humor and adult situations]] -- but nothing too bad -- just enough to let the male demographic know that it's edgy and we'll have some gross out humor for them -- and the female demographic will instantly be drawn to the toaster -- [[EscapistCharacter they will be able to imagine themselves inserted into the role]] -- it will be released in summer preferably over a holiday weekend -- it will break records -- win awards -- it will be the SleeperHit of the year --\
674'''Megatron:''' '''''No!!'''''\
675'''Soundwave:''' Dammit --
676** The above is funnier when you realize the ThirdActMisunderstanding is a higher-up peeve from Doug's Top 10 worst cliches list.
677** Even funnier during the actual rant, we keep cutting back to Megatron's [[TheComicallySerious completely straight face]].
678* The parodying of the classic AdBumpers.
679* Critic Prime trying to hide from Jerry using his powers of disguise...by hiding under the bedcovers.
680** Made better in that Jerry [[HiddenInPlainSight doesn't see it]] and thinks he's transformed into a lamp.
681** FridgeBrilliance: He's completely wasted with coke, what did you expect?
682* The [[YouFightLikeACow "unedited" dialogue]] between Megatron and Optimus during their duel atop the dam.
683* "Did I just use the [[NWordPrivileges J-word]]?"
684[[/folder]]
685
686[[folder:A Simple Wish]]
687* The Critic's teeth shattering from child!Mara Wilson's cuteness. Funny to some, [[NightmareFuel creepy to others.]]
688* The Trying Too Hard Alert.
689** "I was on ''Series/{{SCTV}}''! Really!"
690* The Bubble Factory's meeting on whether they should sponsor this movie or ''Film/{{Titanic 1997}}''.
691-->"FUCKING BUBBLES!!!"\
692"And who ''is'' that guy?!"
693** And apparently, the Build-A-Bear Workshop sponsored ''Film/Terminator2JudgmentDay''.
694* "[Martin Short's character] looks like Series/DoctorWho graduated from [[Franchise/HarryPotter Hogwarts]]!"
695* After calling out on the father's obviously dubbed-in singing voice (which sounds exactly like Creator/DomDeLuise), the Critic "sings" a [[LetsDuet duet]] between Charlotte Church and Music/JoshGroban.
696** "I gotta be half the cast of a Creator/DonBluth movie in an hour!"
697* "''WHAT THE FUCK AM I LOOKING AT??!!!''"
698** This was after an ultra-bizarre scene where Murray turns a homicidal hillbilly into a 50-foot tall rabbi (rather than "a little rabbit", as he was trying for).
699** Repeated again with the "torture" scene involving Murray and Annabelle dancing.
700** Especially the way it sounds like he's almost catatonic from pure shock, and can barely get the words out. And apparently Doug was so proud of that take that he used it twice.
701** Also, this line during the dance scene:
702--->"[[MindScrew BRAIN]] [[MindRape RAPE!!!]]"
703* The BigBad's out-of-left field line involving her mirror, and the Critic's take on it:
704-->'''[[WesternAnimation/TheSmurfs Gargamel]]:''' I will destroy the Smurfs with all my magic spells! Mwahahahahahahaha!! But say, did you know the guy who did the candle in ''WesternAnimation/BeautyAndTheBeast'' was also in ''Series/LawAndOrder''?\
705''[silence; Azrael simply stares at him]''\
706'''Gargamel:''' That's so weird!\
707''[more silence]''\
708'''Gargamel:''' Hwahahahahahahahaha!!!
709* The Critic questioning [[WhatHappenedToTheMouse what happened to the other fairy godmothers]], after the BigBad locked them in the basement after stealing their wands. He theorizes that they may have starved to death.
710-->'''Critic:''' Good news, fairy godmothers, you're free-- *''[[Film/TheShining cue image of skeletons in dresses]]''* -- *''shouts in surprise and mimes shutting the doors, looking around awkwardly''*
711* "Oooooooh, I caused Literature/TheHungerGames to happen..."
712** "But ya know I'm so quiirkyyyyy!!!"
713* The ending, where Creator/MaraWilson herself appears (by now in her 20s), calling the Critic out on holding child actors accountable for the movies they were in, no matter their age. When the Critic refuses to relent, Wilson--to the Critic's utter horror--begins showing embarrassing videos of the Critic's childhood, snarking at them all the while. A sample of the exchange:
714-->'''Mara:''' How brave of you to go with those braces. Tell me, was it meant to look like your teeth were eating over them?\
715'''Critic:''' [[BigShutUp SHUT UP!]]\
716'''Mara:''' The acne is a nice touch, too. I bet you purposely never showered just to get that effect.\
717'''Critic:''' It was Seattle during the grunge era -- none of us did!
718** At the very end...
719--->'''Critic:''' My God, how could you be so heartless?! How could you be so cruel??! ''UNHOLY SHE-DEMON!!!''\
720'''Mara:''' Well, so long, Critic. I'm sure now that the public has seen some of ''your'' brilliant choices as a child, they'll be just as accepting as you were of mine.\
721'''Critic:''' '''''[[SayMyName MAAAARAAAAA]] [[SkywardScream WIIIILSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!!!!!!]]'''''\
722'''Mara:''' ''([[EvilLaugh cackles evilly]])''
723** "I like wearing women's clothing! It is fun!"
724** Doubles as a SugarWiki/MomentOfAwesome for her. "DON'T FUCK WITH MARA WILSON", ''indeed.''
725** Crossing over into real life: when praised, Wilson admits that the above evil laughter is "not that different from her normal laugh."
726** There's some Fridge Funny here: the Critic and Ask That Guy look alike, they've also been established to be related...which means Ask That Guy, proud TheCasanova who has bragged that he's always been a sexy man-whore, looked like a horrifying nerd with acne and braces when he was thirteen too.
727* [[Film/PulpFiction "Any of you fucking pricks move, and I'll execute every motherfucking last one of ya!"]]
728* The Critic mocking a [[SpecialEffectFailure bad CGI frog]], claiming that [[WesternAnimation/ThePrincessAndTheFrog Prince Naveen's]] sketches are more three-dimensional.
729[[/folder]]
730
731[[folder:Alien Resurrection]]
732* "Jesus, bringing people back from two hundred years ago? There are so many [[WebVideo/EpicRapBattlesOfHistory rap battles]] that could evolve from this!"
733* The Aliens make a [[WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons "Frink noise"]] whenever they snatch someone.
734** Later, the use of [[ScreamsLikeALittleGirl Homer's girly-scream]] when Ripley torches one of her deformed clones.
735* His "fuck you" to the movie when it does a BaitAndSwitch of all that shameless lesbian teasing and end up with two unattractive guys "kissing" (i.e., just touching their lips together) instead.
736* The Critic's reactions to the newborn hybrid alien and how the filmmakers designed it to make the audience feel sorry for it.
737-->"I just wanna eat humanity and devouw bwains. Is dat a cwiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiime?"
738** Also, his reaction to how the film swings back and forth between "sympathetic" and "terrifying"
739--->"Aww, but I just want to play with the puppies... '''[[MoodWhiplash YOU COCKSUCKING MOTHERFUCKER!!!]]'''"\
740"Mommy, why would you do this to me? '''''I'LL EAT YOUR ASS IN HELL!!!!'''''"
741* "Could I say my line... any closer... to the camera?" *''BANG!!''* "Ow!"
742* The Critic's comments on how Winona Ryder's character always looks like she's about to throw a temper tantrum.
743* "Brad Dourif. No questions, dammit! No questions."
744--> "You know, it's at moments like this where I realize the only reason we let Brad Dourif act is because we're afraid of what he'll do if he ''doesn't''."
745** The Critic's reaction to the bizarre interaction between Dourif and the Alien.
746--> "[[Film/ChildsPlay1988 I have a date with a six-year-old boy!]]"
747--> '''Critic:''' ''(after alien gets sprayed down)'' Hey, you were putting the moves on HIM!
748* The reason that one Xenomorph didn't immediately kill the crew? He was distracted by an ad he saw earlier. *''cut to commercial''*
749** Made even better if an ad DOESN'T play, meaning the Xenomorph just saw a black screen.
750* "Alright buddy, there's two kinds of aliens on this ship: those who like the Nostalgia Critic's [[WesternAnimation/TheTransformers Transformer cartoon]] review, and those who don't like the Nostalgia Critic's Transformer cartoon review! Which are you, boy?"
751--> '''Alien B:''' I just would've liked to have seen a more in-character--\
752''(starts getting torn apart)''\
753'''Alien B:''' The Creator/BradJones cameo was pointless.\
754''(gets torn some more)''\
755'''Alien B:''' The Optimus Prime bit got old!\
756''(gets torn one more time)''\
757'''Alien B:''' [[TakeThatMe It just... wasn't... funny...]] ''(dies)''
758* The Critic's reaction to the people that were supposed to watch over the aliens running away.
759* The Critic's skit when Ripley single-handedly yanks off a facehugger, despite it being shown in previous films that its borderline impossible.
760-->'''Facehugger:''' ''(attaches itself to the Critic)''\
761'''Critic:''' ''(nonchalantly flicks it off)'' Annoying!
762* [[{{Series/Dinosaurs}} "Not the mamma!"]]
763* [[BlackGuyDiesFirst When the black guy dies]]:
764-->'''Critic:''' Let us have a moment of silence for that black guy. ''[takes off his hat and bows his head before switching to another character]''\
765'''Critic/Other Guy:''' You know, I don't think that fall would've killed him--\
766'''Critic:''' Nah, he's dead.\
767'''Critic/Other Guy:''' ''[beat]'' There's no other aliens down there to get him--\
768'''Critic:''' No no, he's dead.\
769'''Critic/Other Guy:''' ''[beat]'' He could easily just swim out of there any chance he wanted--\
770'''Critic:''' Why can't you just accept [[BlackDudeDiesFirst the INCREDIBLY RARE FACT that a black guy has died in a horror film?!]]\
771'''Critic/Other Guy:''' ''[beat]'' Even all the facehuggers were destroyed--\
772'''Critic:''' You racist?!\
773'''Critic/Other Guy:''' How does that even--?! ''[gives up]'' Sure.
774** Later, during the "Bitch Later Folder" about Cole:
775--->'''Critic:''' ''[voiceover]'' If Cole could swim out, why the fuck couldn't the black guy?!\
776'''Critic/Other Guy:''' You racist?\
777'''Critic:''' I don't think you know what that means.
778* The Critic's confusion over Purvis' sudden boost in energy as the Chestbuster starts to emerge.
779-->'''Critic (as Creator/JohnHurt):''' Oh my God, I feel something about to burst out of my chest! Oh, that's strange; I have a sudden burst of energy. I want to jazzercise, let's do a little Tae Bo, HUP, it's kicking...!!\
780''(Chestburster kills him)''\
781'''Chestburster:''' ''♪[[Film/{{Spaceballs}} Hello my baby, hello my honey!]]♪''
782** The additional [[TheStinger stinger]].
783--->'''Lone Starr and Barf:''' Check, please!
784* The Critic looking forward to Ridley Scott's [[Film/{{Prometheus}} return to the franchise]], only for the screen to fill up with Scott's lesser works.
785-->"Let me dream!"
786* The Obligatory [[WebVideo/DoctorHorriblesSingAlongBlog Dr. Horrible]] joke near the beginning: "I'm looking at you, Wormtongue!"
787-->''"Blood and guts... slimy too... shoulda stopped... at movie two..."''
788* When Gary Dourdan's character (the guy with dreads) shoots up at the ceiling, with the bullet ricocheting several times before penetrating one of the guards' helmets, the Critic edits the film so that the bullet bounces off the Eiffel Tower, the Pyramids of Giza, the Moon, and Creator/CharlieSheen's head.
789** And later, his improbable aiming skills that would make "[[WesternAnimation/TheGreatMouseDetective Basil from Baker Street]] blush".
790* "She must be wearing her Air "Fuck You"s today."
791[[/folder]]
792
793[[folder:Jack]]
794* When the movie begins:
795-->'''Bonasera:''' [[Film/TheGodfather I believe in America...]]\
796'''Critic:''' Oh, I'm sorry, I meant ''wacky Halloween party!'' Whoo hoo hoo!
797* The HypocriticalHumor of him complaining that a ten year old boy wouldn't have a doll, when he as a thirty-year-old guy has a large quantity of stuffed animals. One of which we see later on in the review.
798* Throwing confetti around and posing all pouty-like.
799* DrunkOnMilk Robin Williams. Who then proceeds to "spank the monkey" [[SubvertedTrope by literally spanking his giant monkey stuffed animal and crying about how they used to be friends.]]
800* "Dude, you're being offered the choice of not going to school. ''Take advantage of it''."
801* The Critic correcting the movie on terms of cooties, saying that everyone should know they get extracted at age seven.
802* Trying to improve the best friend's sappy "I want to be like Jack" report by splicing in the killing spree from the end of ''Film/TheGodfather''. It doesn't work.
803* Bill Cosby. That is all.
804-->'''Bill Cosby:''' This house is falling faster than my movie career.\
805'''Robin Williams:''' Mine too. Hoho!
806** When Bill Cosby has to eat some bizarre mixture of mayo, gummy worms, and chocolate the boys make:
807--->'''Critic:''' Oh, come on, he's had worse. He's worked for Jell-O.
808* Combining the Robin Williams' inspirational speech and playing it with the speeches from ''Film/PatchAdams'' and ''Film/MrsDoubtfire''.
809-->'''Robin Williams:''' I'm quirky, which is good. I fought things and I won. I'll be saying this in the next five movies I'm in. I'll apologize by doing more stand-up.
810* Randy Newman writing a song about being sad.
811-->♪Sadness. It makes you feel bad. [[CallBack At least both your parents weren't eaten alive by a rhino!]] That'd be funny.♪
812* Comparing Fran Drescher's voice to Creator/ChristopherWalken swallowing a cat and a velociraptor's cry.
813** Plus, the ridiculous poofy dress she has on in her first scene.
814--->"Who's the ten year old in an adult's body again?"
815* The Critic pointing out the ultra-cheery music in the scene where the kids ask Jack to come out and play, but finds [[SoundtrackDissonance it doesn't work since Jack is still crying and not getting better]]. He wonders if this works with other crying scenes... and plays it over the ending to ''Film/MarleyAndMe''.
816** Realizing he may have gone too far with that joke, he includes a hotline to call if you felt "scarred for life" from it.
817* Comparing Robin Williams' interpretation of a ten-year-old to a clip of Harry Potter at age 11 and the awkward stare-down that followed.
818-->'''Snape:''' Mister Potter...\
819'''Harry:''' '''YES!?!'''
820* His utter horror that ''Creator/FrancisFordCoppola'' directed the movie, which he can't get over for the whole review, culminating in the laughably bad old man makeup for Robin Williams coming from the same guy who made Marlon Brando a very convincing old man.
821** Then there's when he first finds out about it, after bitching about how he's running out of jokes about Robin Williams. "Hell-oooo, new target practice."
822** As for the old-age makeup at the end, he notes that all it's missing is a "Gandalf beard".
823* The entire bit involving the... interesting job Jack's father has.
824** When one of the children at the treehouse is looking at a "dirty magazine", the Critic dubs in "[[ItMakesSenseInContext Hey! Look at this one! Four whores on a carrot!]]"
825* The Critic's line after the advertisement break can be hilarious depending on the last ad played.
826-->"Yeah, that last ad was a little slutty..."
827* "Things are looking up, when he discovers his teacher is Music/JenniferLopez. Actually, I imagine a lot of things would be [[SomethingElseAlsoRises going up]] as soon as he discovered that."
828* The use of "Finale/Reprise" from ''WesternAnimation/TheNightmareBeforeChristmas'' as Jack re-enters the classroom and everyone excitedly chatters about Jack.
829-->'''Chorus:''' Jack's OK, and he's back, OK!
830* "I’ve learned that [[SarcasmMode this is the best choice that Francis Ford Coppola has ever made since he said]], “Hey! You know what my [[Film/BramStokersDracula Dracula]] movie is missing? [[Creator/KeanuReeves One of the guys]] FROM [[Franchise/BillAndTed BILL AND FUCKING TED]]!!"
831[[/folder]]
832
833[[folder:Heavy Metal]]
834* The Critic's schedule for the day including getting a manicure, [[ContinuityNod threatening]] [[WebVideo/{{Kickassia}} a micronation]] in Wyoming, and having his eyebrows waxed with WebVideo/ToddInTheShadows.
835* The Critic's initial response to seeing WebVideo/DiamandaHagan.
836-->"Anyway, if it's one of the women on the site, I'm sure that I'm in for a nice-looking piece of-- ''(sees Diamanda)'' F-F-F-FUCK!!! Good God! Oh, sweet Jesus, don't hurt me!!"\
837"Please, [[ComicBook/TheJoker Mr. Joker]], I'll do whatever you want! Just don't harm me!"\
838"Oh, my God, we're hiring people like ''you'' now??! You look like Film/TheCrow if he was in Candyland!"\
839"You look like what I saw when I [[UrbanLegends said 'Bloody Mary' three times!]]"
840* His complaining over having one-night-stands with women and them leaving him on his own right after the sex.
841* His impression of the Loc-Nar's rambling storytelling:
842-->"Do you want snacks? This next one can get a little lengthy. There's not any naked women in it, but my guess is you're not into that anyway. ''(beat)'' I am. A lot!"
843** How about before that with this:
844-->"If I could, I would even throw a commercial interruption in the middle of these stori-" (Screen is briefly in black, and if you're watching it on blip, there really is a commercial break) "Well, that was lucky."
845* The Critic's denial that he has a crush on WebVideo/JesuOtaku.
846** Along with him implying HoYay between [[WebVideo/FamiliarFaces CR]] and WebVideo/{{Phelous}}.
847* John Candy of Literature/{{Gor}}!
848** When the girl Den rescues says she will give him any part of her he desires:
849--->'''Critic (as John Candy of Gor):''' [[ThirdPersonPerson John Candy of Gor]] [[LiteralMinded likes your eyes]].\
850''([[EyeScream pulls her eye out]]; girl screams)''\
851'''Critic (as John Candy of Gor):''' Hey, you're lucky I didn't like your breasts.
852** Later, whilst having sex, the bad guys appear.
853--->'''Bad Guy:''' Come!\
854'''Diamanda:''' I was about to, you damn [[UsefulNotes/FurryFandom furry!]]
855* The Critic getting fed up with the Loc Nar's lectures and calling it a "horny little green ball, who rambles a tad."
856-->'''Critic:''' So, really every woman in this movie is like a game of Perfection. If something can fit in the slot, you just put it in there.
857* The Critic describing how none of the women in the movie act like real people
858* The bit where the Enterprise makes a short cameo.
859-->'''Critic:''' Waitaminute... Was that the fucking Enterprise? It is! It's the fucking Enterprise! What the hell is the Enterprise doing in the '40s? Or present day, or whenever the fuck that futuristic trial was supposed to happen!?\
860'''Diamanda:''' [[Film/StarTrekIVTheVoyageHome Could be flying back in time to capture some dolphins or some crap.]]\
861'''Critic (as Captain Kirk):''' Sppppoooooockkkk, have you ever wondered if you can... smoke a tribble?
862* ''She-Man and the Big Tittied Mistress of Killing Shit''.
863* The melting counter.
864** When no people have been melted for a while, the Critic is ecstatic when a whole town of people are engulfed in green lava, causing the counter to jump to 1,313... until it turns out they ''didn't'' melt, making a hilarious frown as the counter drops back to 4.
865* After the monsters emerge from the green lava:
866-->'''Critic Monster:''' Now, let's go get chicken.\
867'''Hagan Monster:''' I'm a vegetarian.\
868'''Critic Monster:''' [[LargeHam Kill him!]]\
869''(lasers fire)''
870* "It's a car in space! The question is invalid!"
871** Even better is Diamanda's reaction to the car in space: a slow, drawn-out, silent, "What... the... fuck...?" with the most hilarious expression on her face.
872* Diamanda's references to incredibly obscure sleazy movies, none of which the Critic even acknowledges.
873* When the Loc-Nar falls from space towards the WWII bombers.
874-->'''Hagan:''' It's Film/JohnCarter returning from Mars!\
875'''Critic:''' You saw that?\
876'''Hagan:''' ''Someone'' had to!
877** Made funnier in that OOC, Doug was one of the few that actually did see John Carter.
878* Diamanda pointing out how the planet in the Dar segment seems to be a bit racist, with humans leading over beastmen or aliens:
879-->'''Diamanda:''' ... [[HypocriticalHumor and the crab people I rule over with an iron fist agree.]]\
880'''Crabs:''' [[FlatJoy Yaaaaay]].
881* "Where did they go?"
882--> "[[Film/IndianaJonesAndTheKingdomOfTheCrystalSkull Into the space between spaces!]]"
883* When Diamanda comes back from being clobbered after killing a girl's father and trying to sleep with her, the Critic reassures her that they live in a bizarre world.
884** Not to mention, the Critic's reaction when Diamanda gets up & leaves to do that is a dumbfounded "You go ''outside''?"
885* This exchange after seeing a MadScientist:
886-->'''Hagan''': [[AreYouPonderingWhatImPondering Are you thinking what I'm thinking?]]\
887'''Critic''': [[WesternAnimation/PinkyAndTheBrain I think so]]. But how can I get [[PerverseSexualLust Catherine Zeta-Jones]] [[NoodleImplements in a Batman outfit?]]\
888'''Hagan''': I was thinking about [[WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment Insano]]...\
889'''Critic''': Oh, yeah, Insano. ''({{Beat}})'' [[ComicallyMissingThePoint How can]] ''[[ComicallyMissingThePoint he]]'' [[ComicallyMissingThePoint get Catherine Zeta-Jones in a Batman outfit?]]
890* Also before that with the politician walking and ignoring the news reporters
891-->'''Hagan''': I don't have time to answer your questions. I have walking to do!
892* Taarna's introduction
893-->'''Critic:''' So how long before she gets nake--? ''(she does)'' I guess that ''was'' a stupid question!
894* The irony of Dr. Anrak's assurance that there are no aliens... just when aliens arrive.
895-->'''Hagan:''' And I'm currently wondering what they would've done in most obvious situations in history.
896-->''(a shot of the Titanic sinking, the Birdie Dance playing in the background, with a superimposed picture of Dr. Anrak saying: "Clearly this was caused by werewolves.")''
897[[/folder]]
898
899[[folder:Mr. Magoo]]
900* When the Critic reminds us that he's not a fan of ''WesternAnimation/TheFlintstones'', he dodges a giant safe falling on his head. When he says he's not a fan of ''WesternAnimation/MrMagoo'' either, he gets a tiny safe that doesn't even faze him.
901* The Critic commenting on the inexplicable VocalDissonance between the animated Magoo in the credit sequence and Leslie Nielsen.
902-->'''Critic:''' It's like if, in a ''Popeye'' movie, they started off with a cartoon in the original voice, but then suddenly cut to someone completely different.\
903''([[ImagineSpot harp glissando]])''\
904'''[[QuestionableCasting Michael Clarke Duncan in a Popeye Suit:]]''' Yo. [[ScaryBlackMan I'm Popeye and shit]].
905* "Wow, the first second--literally the ''first second of this film'' annoys me. Nah, there's only 5,492 to go!"
906* Calling a woman's hat a halfway iris-out.
907-->"Eh, [=WTFsauce=]?!?"
908* Critic notes that Jennifer Garner's character Stacy Sampanahoditra, with her [[WhatTheHellIsThatAccent vague accent]], weird hair, [[WTHCostumingDepartment and Chinese crackerjack sailor suit]], is the [[Franchise/{{Dune}} Kwisatz Haderach of stereotypes]].
909* The Critic calling the thieves "a children's stage play version of [[Film/TheDarkKnightRises Catwoman and Bane]]."
910* Ernie Hudson [[ItMakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext blows up Stephen Toblowsky's head]] with [[Franchise/{{Ghostbusters}} a proton pack]].
911** And before that, the Critic's outraged reaction at Toblowsky 'hn'-ing Hudson.
912* The two federal agents play what the Critic calls a castrated version of I Spy. At one point, Anders tells Stupak to look to his left. Stupak turns left and finds himself facing a mirror, then looks back up at Anders.
913-->'''Critic:''' Oh snap! You just got Hud!! ''[cut back to the scene with a shredding guitar and the text "You've just Been Hud" appearing on the bottom of the screen next to a picture of Ernie Hudson's head]''
914* Bob, the male thief, goes after Magoo, fails to get past Magoo's Loki horns when trying to garrote him, and gets knocked out with a hammer, accidentally turning on a giant fan. The Critic has to shout over the noise of the fan:
915-->'''Critic:''' YEAH!! BECAUSE IF THERE'S ANYTHING EVERY OPERA PERFORMANCE NEEDS WITH THE SENSITIVITY OF THE SINGERS' VOICES, IT'S A GIANT, LOUD, HARD TO CONTROL WIND MACHINE!! WHY DON'T ALL OPERA HOUSES HAVE THIS?!
916* When the female thief tricks Magoo into kissing a fish, he wonders if the fish's family is happy knowing where his body went.
917-->'''Female Fish:''' Well? Did you see what they did with Howard's body?\
918'''Male Fish:''' ''(resigned)'' Yes. Yes, I did.\
919'''Female Fish:''' Please tell me the he's at least being used to feed a poor, starving family.\
920'''Male Fish''': No, he's... ''(deep breath)'' He's being used for a live-action version of ''Mr. Magoo''.\
921'''Female Fish:''' ''(in anguish)'' ''[[BigNo NOOOOOOO-O-O-O-O!!!]]'' Warner Brothers or Disney?\
922'''Male Fish:''' ''(whispers)'' Disney.\
923'''Female Fish:''' '''[[BigNo NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!]]'''
924** Later, when Magoo tries to cook a chicken via TV instructions, he wonders the same question:
925--->'''Female Chicken:''' Did you find Daniel's body?\
926'''Male Chicken:''' Yes.\
927'''Female Chicken''' So, are they putting him to good use?\
928'''Male Chicken:''' Well, you see, Disney--\
929'''Female Chicken:''' '''''[[BigNo NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!]]'''''
930* In that same scene, Magoo is trying his best to rip off the ''Series/MrBean'' cooking scene as he cooks a roast chicken. Then the dog hits the remote, which changes the cooking show to a workout program. Magoo proceeds to give the chicken a workout. The Critic asks, "Yeah! How long until he switches to the porno channel?"
931-->'''Cooking Show Host:''' Next, I want you to--\
932''(channel changes)''\
933'''Porn Star:''' ...put your big long cock inside me.\
934'''Critic (as Mr. Magoo):''' Well, okay, if it insists! ''[proceeds to [[BestialityIsDepraved hump the chicken]]; [[BlackComedyRape a "BA-CAW!" sound is played to accompany it]]]''
935* When the movie cops says the female thief kills all her male accomplices and nobody has been able to finger (identify) her, Critic responds "What a shame. They die before they can finger her?", leading into a David Letterman cutaway to commercial.
936** After the commercial, he still continues to pretend he's David Letterman until, "What the fuck am I doing? Back to the movie!!"
937* Critic's reactions to the eggplant truck, including taking a shot of alcohol to do a SpitTake and BigWhat.
938-->'''Critic:''' Yeah, a giant eggplant! No, you [[QuirkyWork didn't smoke anything]], because that would mean that ''I'' would have smoked it, too!
939* Luanne claims to Magoo and Waldo that the diamond is going to be auctioned off at a crime meeting of billionaire gangsters, and someone needs to impersonate the most powerful of them.
940-->'''Waldo:''' But who?\
941'''Critic:''' Oh gee, why not the blind man who time and time again has proven he's a constant threat to anything and anyone he comes across? Yeah, I'm down with this.
942* In the subsequent meeting with the other crime bosses, Magoo tells the others "That's right, I never go anywhere, so when I go somewhere, everyone thinks I'm nowhere when I'm really there."
943-->'''Critic:''' So, they're under the impression that mobster billionaires are bad Guido Sarducci impersonators? ''[replays the scenes with Magoo talking, only with Leslie Nielsen audio dubbed over with [[Series/SaturdayNightLive Don Novello]] dialogue]''\
944'''Magoo!Guido Sarducci:''' To be made a saint into the Catholic Church, you have to have the four miracles. I understand two of them was a card tricks.
945* When the Critic sees that Creator/MalcolmMcDowell is in the movie:
946-->'''Critic:''' And now we take a look at just who's running this [[Film/MilkMoney so'op]] -- Malcolm [=McDowell=]! God, I've seen this guy in so many of my reviews I should just have a warm glass from the [[Film/AClockworkOrange Korova Milk Bar]] waiting for him.
947** Due to the place where the circle wipe that transitions from that scene to the gangsters undressing in the locker room begins, the Critic's reaction is, "Daah! Apparently there was another scene in that woman's ass! Hey, if someone told me the rest of this movie [[AssPull came out of someone's behind]], I'd believe it."
948* Mr. Magoo's hastily scribbled chest tattoo is rendered almost illegible by the change in screen resolution, forcing the Critic to stare ''very'' hard to get a close look. [[FanDisservice He's not happy about it]].
949--> '''Critic''': Okay, movie, you're forcing me to look ''really'' close at wrinkly Leslie Nielsen chest! Not cool! Not, we're not on good terms right now!
950* When Luanne is making off with the ruby:
951--> '''Critic:''' Oh good, [[TemptingFate the nephew will stop her]]!\
952''([[UselessProtagonist Magoo's nephew does absolutely nothing to stop her getaway]])''\
953'''Critic:''' [[SarcasmMode ...Good job there]].
954* When one of the villains is frozen and told to "freeze" by a cop, the Critic pulls out a set of memes: "OF COURSE!!!" and "A-CHUCK NORRRRRRRRRRIS!!!" before pulling out the correct one: "[[Film/SuburbanCommando I was FROZEN today!!!]]"
955* "Did John [=McCain=] just bust my wedding??"
956** And later, the major disappointment at the weak payoff of Leslie Nielsen in a wedding dress going over the Falls.
957* Critic is appalled by the [[BackhandedApology half-assed disclaimer]] at the end saying that the film was never meant to insult blind people.
958* The ending skit, where the Critic declares that he's going to [[DudeNotFunny beat up a blind man]]. It turns out that the blind man is Magoo, and--as the Critic [[CurbStompBattle finds out the hard way]]--is actually a complete psychopath who only pretends to be blind so he can park in a handicapped space.
959[[/folder]]
960
961[[folder:Top 11 Simpsons Episodes]]
962* The beginning of the review, where he comments that [[FanonDiscontinuity if The Simpsons was still on, it would be great]], but immediately [[HypocriticalHumour complains on why the show is still on]] when he learns there are [[SeasonalRot 23 seasons]].
963* "So let's head back to [[WhereTheHellIsSpringfield Springfield... Illakachussetts]]."
964* [[Film/HotFuzz The Greater Good]].
965* "... and is dumb as, well, [[ShapedLikeItself Homer Simpson]]."
966* His nitpick with ''22 Short Films About Springfield'', about how it randomly cuts to the commercials instead of working it into the script. Cue mid-roll ad!
967* The [[ElephantInTheLivingRoom Elephant in the Room]], hinting to a [[LetsPlay certain other Simpsons-related piece the Critic did]], and the ensuing argument that plays over the end credits.
968-->'''Critic:''' You know what? You're a god-damned ''elephant!!''
969[[/folder]]
970
971[[folder:Signs]]
972* "You don't know any better." During which the Critic nonchalantly takes the DVD and shoots it.
973* When we first see the alien hand trying to get under the door, [[SkewedPriorities the Critic remarks that they need a good manicurist]].
974* "Oh my God, he's being invaded by [[Franchise/TheMuppets Kermit the Frog]]!" and the resulting jokes:
975-->"I understand you haven't subscribed to the Muppet Website/YouTube channel yet. Don't make me shove "The Rainbow Connection" up your ass!"\
976"It's not easy being ''dead''."
977* The [[IneffectualSympatheticVillain aliens']] [[SpeakingSimlish "conversation"]] while attempting to invade Gibson's house.
978-->"'''DUN-KO!'''"[[note]]"'''WOOD!'''"[[/note]]\
979"'''FAGH-NIS-CLAE!!'''"[[note]]"'''FUCK-MY-SHIT!!'''"[[/note]]\
980"Tooka, zeh e masa mada enda anus!"[[note]]"That's it, you're all getting anal-probed!"[[/note]]\
981"DUGO, NISANELLA!!"[[note]]"NO SHIT, [[Film/{{Gladiator}} COMMODUS]]!!"[[/note]]\
982"USISUNA!"[[note]]"Watch out!"[[/note]] ''(window crashes)'' "ISANE!!"[[note]]"'Damnit!!"[[/note]]
983** Everything involving them, really. From them attempting to barge in on a scene despite their main weakness to the ending, where the Critic beats the crap out of them with a two-by-four.
984* When Gibson and his brother are in the house after hearing the first alien in the roof, they plan on acting crazy. Gibson asks his brother to "explain that crazy". Cue Gibson's phone rant.
985-->'''Gibson:''' YOU SHOULD JUST FUCKING ''SMIIIIILE''!! ''(pant pant)'' AND BLOW ME!!
986** The alien's report to his superiors:
987--->"Alien report: stepped on roof and swung on swing. Very confusing mission: accomplished. Will now go to Arkansas to put toast in toaster and slide down slide".
988* "[[RunningGag It's like it was meant to be]]."
989* The insanely over-the-top introduction of Shyamalan's character, complete with a heavenly lens flare and scored with Ennio Morricone's theme from ''Film/TheMission''.
990* The Critic's complaining about the aliens' lack of tactical knowledge after realizing that [[AchillesHeel their weak points were]] [[WeaksauceWeakness wood, water and getting beaten up]], and that they "probably [[DidntThinkThisThrough should have thought that through]] before attacking a planet '''''[[LargeHam MOSTLY COVERED IN WATER!!]]'''''".
991** "[[Film/TheWizardOfOz AAH!! I'm melting, I'm melting!! What a world, what a world!!]]"
992** What he says near the end is also hilarious, when he points how Shyamalan's character says earlier in the film that the aliens don't like water, and it turns out they indeed don't like water.
993--->'''Critic:''' Hell, YOU JUST SAID YOUR TWIST IN THE FIRST HALF OF THE MOVIE; I DON'T KNOW IF THAT EVEN MAKES IT A TWIST!!!
994** Prior to that, when he criticizes Shyamalan's character for rambling about his wife's death, he plays over a lot of weird noises over Gibson's expressions. Then Shyamalan's character says that he found one alien and locked him in the pantry, prompting the Critic to say:
995--->'''Critic:''' Err...okay, let's try this conversation again; you start with: "''HOLY SHIT, I GOT AN ALIEN IN MY HOUSE!! CALL THE COPS, CALL THE FBI!! CALL THE NEWS, THE WORLD DESERVES TO KNOW!!!''". Theeen you move on to: "oh, by the way, I'm sorry I hit your wife like I was playing a game of ''VideoGame/CrazyTaxi''."
996* The post-credits blooper at the end of the video, when the camera is accidentally jolted.
997-->"''ALIENS!!!''"
998* The Critic's disturbed reaction to the General perpetually not closing his mouth.
999** "Duuuuuuuuuh..."
1000** "Can we get the camera off this guy ?! He's weirding me out ! I think ''he's'' the alien in this movie !"
1001* His impression of the female officer, explaining "[[Creator/QuentinTarantino Tarantinoing]]" (which has characters engage in a SeinfeldianConversation, which was at first used as an off-beat way to create CharacterDevelopment, but is now used for [[PrimaDonnaDirector screenwriters to shove their writing style down the throats of the audience]], [[{{Filler}} rather than actually serve the plot in any fashion whatsoever]]). Later, his comments on the officer when she tries to suggest that the alien could actually be a woman who can run and jump like a female Scandinavian Olympic athlete.
1002-->'''Critic''': Okay, we're sexist dicks who don't watch the Olympics. ''[[PoliceAreUseless Will you arrest something?!]]''
1003* "These... holy fuck-shit fuck aliens... stopped - come to a halt! - by a fucking... pan...try... '''''[[LargeHam DOOOOOOOOO]][[JumpScare OOOOOOOOOO]][[UnstoppableRage OOOOOOOOOO]][[RuleOfThree OOOOOOOO]][[NightmareFace RRRRRRR]][[NightmareFuel !!!!!]]'''''"
1004** Not to mention the entire build up to this:
1005--->'''Critic:''' Really, Shyamalan. Did you read that line? Out loud? Did-did you ever read that line out loud? You couldn't have. You clearly couldn't have. I mean, you just stated that these technologically advanced aliens, these creatures that we are supposed to be afraid of, ''cannot'' get through pantry doors.\
1006''[Critic thumps his hands on the table, an expression of disbelief and ridicule on his face]''\
1007'''Critic:''' They can build spacecraft that can jump millions of miles across space, but...!\
1008'''Graham from the movie:''' They seem to have trouble with pantry doors.\
1009'''Critic:''' They can take these exact same spacecrafts and turn them invisible so nobody else can find them, years above our technology, but...!\
1010'''Graham from the movie:''' They seem to have trouble with pantry doors.\
1011'''Critic:''' They're gonna take over our planet, but...!\
1012'''Graham from the movie:''' They seem to have trouble with pantry doors.\
1013'''Critic:''' ''[getting more and more crazed]'' THEY'RE GONNA WIPE OUT ''ALL OF MANKIND'', BUT...!\
1014'''Graham from the movie:''' They seem to have trouble with pantry doors.\
1015''[Critic hops around in a circle, [[ChewingTheScenery chewing his hat]], and somehow manages to turn his face purple.]''
1016--->'''Critic:''' YOU ''CAN'T'' BE THIS STUPID!! YOU CAN'T!!! I MEAN, YOU LITERALLY JUST STATED OUT LOUD WHY THIS MOVIE ''CAN'T WORK!!!'' WHAT ARE YOU, A MORON?!?!?
1017** Said build-up also includes a clip from ''Film/ScaryMovie3'', where Charlie Sheen's character [[LampshadeHanging hangs a lampshade]] on the point the Critic is making: the aliens can travel through space, but [[WeaksauceWeakness they can't get through a wooden door]].
1018--->'''Critic:''' You see what you did there, movie?! ''You see what you did??!'' '''[[FelonyMisdemeanor YOU JUST MADE CHARLIE SHEEN]] [[DumbassHasAPoint RIGHT ABOUT SOMETHING!!!]]'''
1019** And then, after roaring "DOOR!" for the ''third time'', he faints like a stereotypical maiden.
1020* The Critic's reaction to when everyone screams after seeing the generic-looking alien for the first time.
1021-->'''Critic:''' AAHHH!!! Oh my god, it looks exactly like every other alien we've ever seen!!
1022** Made even funnier when he decides to change the channel, and ends up screaming in horror at the sight of [[Film/ETTheExtraTerrestrial E.T.]], Series/{{Alf}}, and the squeaky toy aliens from the ''Franchise/ToyStory'' movies. Then he ends up changing to the commercial break, after which he looks confused for a brief moment before screaming anyway.
1023* The quirky sound effect whenever a panoramic shot occurs.
1024* The Critic's TakeThat at [[JerkassGod God]] for killing Gibson's wife. In the end he sums up that "[[StatusQuoIsGod nothing has changed at all...]][[DownerEnding Oh, except there's a dead wife in the mix]]."
1025** "GOD'S FUCKED UP!! HE PLANS AHEAD ABOUT AS MUCH AS THESE DUMBASS ALIENS DO! *''beat''* OR--let's be honest here--''M. NIGHT SHYAMALAN DOES!!!''"
1026* The last joke, when the Critic's closing CatchPhrase gets interrupted by the sound of aliens trying to bust in. Cue the Critic getting a wood stick and proceeding to beat the crap out of them off camera.
1027-->'''Critic:''' (while grabbing a wood stick)'' Excuse me, I have aliens at my door.\
1028''(sound of the critic opening the door)''\
1029'''Aliens:''' WOOD!\
1030''(sound of the aliens having their asses handed to them)''\
1031'''Alien 2:''' We REALLY suck at this.
1032[[/folder]]
1033
1034[[folder:Digimon: The Movie]]
1035->Note: for the sake of readability, since this predated Jacob Chapman (formerly known as Hope Chapman) coming out as transgender, the examples will refer to him as "her", since he was a girl at the time of doing the review, and some of the jokes are obviously written around this fact.
1036
1037* The review opens up to the Critic looking at multiple requests for him to do ''Franchise/{{Digimon}}''. He is clearly ''not'' happy to see them.
1038** The fact that he has a special folder for "Digimon Requests" separate from the rest of his fan mail speaks for itself.
1039** He points out one email that repeats verbatim what he sarcastically describes just seconds before.
1040--> SO many people are like "Oh, do Digimon! Oh, do Digimon!" No seriously. That's how some emails go! Look.\
1041(shows the comment in question)\
1042"Do Digimon! Do Digimon! *waves arms in girly fashion and squeaks in high pitch pussy voice."
1043** It's a blink-and-you'll-miss-it moment, but when the list of emails is shown, the subject of one of them is "I had your baby...and review Digimon!"
1044* He seeks aid from WebVideo/JesuOtaku via [[Franchise/{{Batman}} the JO signal]]... [[SubvertedTrope only to realize there are no clouds in the sky.]]
1045** He waits until the next day...only to realize it's still daytime. He angrily throws the remote on the floor.
1046*** While yelling ''"Tap-dancing'' '''''Christ!"''''' Which is abruptly cut off for...
1047*** He waits until that night, and uses the bandaged remote to successfully project the signal... leading to an unexpected [[WebVideo/TheAngryJoeShow Angry Joe]] cameo, as he mistook it for his own name.
1048---->'''Angry Joe:''' [[WebVideo/{{Kickassia}} Are we invading another micro-nation?]]
1049*** "I deserve a Joe Signal, Critic!"
1050** When [[BoringButPractical he simply phones JO]], he's clearly annoyed that this much effort has completely fallen flat.
1051--->'''Critic:''' You see that ''incredibly expensive'' spotlight being pointed in the sky?\
1052'''JO:''' Uh, yeah, I thought that was for [[WebVideo/TheAngryJoeShow Angry Joe]], actually.
1053** And the JO signal makes a comeback when JO uses it at the end to vent her frustrations about the movie. But the "JO" is replaced with an expression Tai pulls that the Critic was disturbed by earlier on.
1054* We first see JO lovingly brushing a [[Anime/PuellaMagiMadokaMagica Kyubey]] plushie's ears while promising that they will rule the world together one day.
1055* [[HopeSpot The Critic thinks he's off the hook]] when JO says that the Critic can't properly review the show without being an involved fan who grew up with it, [[YankTheDogsChain only to have his hopes crushed]] ([[TheChewToy as usual]]) when (s)he brings up TheMovie.
1056** [[OhCrap The Critic's reaction]] when he hears about TheMovie is hilarious.
1057--->'''Critic:''' [[ThisIsGonnaSuck Oh...]] ''[[UnusualEuphemism Joybunnies.]]''
1058* "[[RunningGag Asshat." "Woman-child!]]"
1059* When Tai makes a creepy face:
1060-->'''Critic''': Um, never make that face again. It's like the face a [[MistakenforPedophile pedophile]] makes when he hears they're renewing "Toddlers & Tiaras." Ew! Cut away from that!
1061* JO [[{{Squee}} squees]] at Seraphimon and Magnadramon's appearance, much to the Critic's confusion.
1062-->'''JO:''' I'm sorry...I squeed.
1063* This exchange:
1064-->'''JO:''' Seraphimon, carry me away in your big man-angel arms! I wanna huuuug yoooooouuuuu...!\
1065'''Critic:''' ...You need [[StealthPun Digi-medication]].
1066* The Critic cuts to a commercial to let JO finish her weeping over a [[ShipSinking sunken character ship]] (Tai/Sora, sunk by the DistantFinale of ''Anime/DigimonAdventure02''). When they come back, [[LampshadeHanging he asks her]] why her [[YourMakeupIsRunning mascara is dripping]] when (s)he doesn't even wear mascara. (S)he's just as confused as he is.
1067-->'''Critic:''' See what ''Digimon'' does to people?
1068** And ''how'' the ship sunk is never explained, leaving anyone who hasn't seen the show just as much in the dark as the Critic.
1069* '''[[ContentWarnings Worst Thing Imaginable Approaching]]'''
1070-->'''Critic:''' What?\
1071'''JO:''' (''wearing a pillow and strainer as armor'') Too late!\
1072(''the opening credits start with [=DigiRap=] playing; the Critic is startled'')\
1073'''[=DigiRap=]:''' The Digivolution is up and running! Digi See! Digi Hear, Digi Know it was coming?\
1074'''Critic:''' What the country-fried Christ crackers?\
1075Is that a... [=DigiRap=]?\
1076'''JO:''' (''still hiding behind the pillow'') Don't look or listen to it, your brain'll fall out!\
1077'''[=DigigiRap=]:''' With [=DigiWill=] and Digivice in hand, there's a [=DigiDynamic=] force in [=DigiLand=]!\
1078(''NC is quite stunned, head tilted to the side as his brain proceeds to fall out of his head like JO warned him'')
1079* Replacing [[PissTakeRap the DigiRap]] with ''[[Film/{{Gordy}} Pig Power in the House]]'', complete with the Critic giving a [[{{Squee}} high-pitched]] "''[[HellYesMoment OH YEAH!!]]''" [[HappyDance and doing a goofy dance to the tune]].
1080* Late 90's Music Bingo.
1081-->"Less Than Jake!"
1082* The Critic expressing confusion over Koromon ("[[BunniesForCuteness tiny bunny rabbit]]") evolving into... a giant Agumon ([[ArtisticLicensePaleontology human-sized dinosaur]]). Cue UsefulNotes/CharlesDarwin replying, "[[HollywoodEvolution Uh...]]''[[NoJustNoReaction no.]]''"
1083** When JO explains the Digivolution process:
1084--->'''Critic:''' So it's a Franchise/{{Tamagotchi}}?\
1085'''JO''': Yeah, a Tamagotchi that '''[[MundaneMadeAwesome kicks ASS!]]'''\
1086''(GilliganCut to [[GoodTimesMontage several scenes of Agumon crushing and exploding stuff]])''*\
1087'''Critic:''' My gigapet never did that, I usually just let it die.
1088* The frequent jabs at the film's tendency for [[{{Pun}} bad jokes]]:
1089-->'''JO:''' This is why the show was ''awesome!''\
1090''(Parrotmon flies in)''\
1091'''Tai:''' Polly want a cracker? A really big cracker?\
1092'''JO:''' And that's why this movie ''sucks.''
1093* The Critic's jab at the Digivolution "narration" (actually the Digimon themselves announcing their new forms):
1094--> '''Narrator:''' Critic opens refrigerator. Critic drinks milk. Critic gives incredibly annoyed look. Critic walks offscreen. Critic [[GroinAttack kicks the narrator in the balls]], '''*wham*''' [-[[InstantSoprano and the narrator feels incredible pain]].-]
1095* On a sequence that tries to be exciting when the characters are just looking at their computer screens:
1096--> '''Critic:''' Come on, is there anything more wasteful or useless than just looking at your computer screen for almost half an hour?\
1097''([[HypocriticalHumour both he and JO fall into awkward silence]])''
1098** ...Which is broken by a poop joke that took place earlier, to which the two laugh idiotically, as if desperately blocking out what was just said.
1099* On Gargomon and his fight with Antylamon:
1100-->"There's rabbit with machine guns for hands. ''How'' do you make that boring? ''How?!''
1101** Doublly hilarious for the Critic and other people who haven't seen ''Anime/DigimonTamers'', where they seemingly took that complaint and erased it.
1102** Not to mention the Critic labeling Terriermon, Wendigomon, Poromon, Seraphimon and Magnadramon (respectively) as "the [[WesternAnimation/TheAdventuresOfTheAmericanRabbit American Rabbit]]", the "{{Muppet}} [[MinstrelShows minstrel show]], "an [[VideoGame/AngryBirds Angry Bird]], "a Burger King Kids Club' chess piece" and a "''Franchise/MyLittlePony'' version of [[Literature/TheNeverendingStory Falkor]]".
1103* The Critic and JO having fun with Izzy's {{Catchphrase}} "Prodigious!"
1104-->'''Critic:''' ''(laughs)'' Wow. Prodigious! A hippie in a Prius!\
1105'''JO:''' Prodigious! Creator/BenKingsley in a bad movie!\
1106'''Critic:''' Prodigious! A thing that would very obviously be in another thing!\
1107'''JO:''' Prodigious! [[StealthInsult A balding internet reviewer who screams a lot!]]\
1108'''Critic:''' Prodigious! [[StealthInsult An anime fan who obviously takes herself way too seriously!]]
1109* "[[Series/MontyPythonsFlyingCircus Now that's what I call a dead parrot]]."
1110* The Critic noting that Koromon facehugging Kari and Tai isn't something to be happy about. Cue the chestburster scene from ''Film/{{Alien}}'', with [=DemiVeemon=] taking the place of the Alien pupa.
1111* The Critic and JO noting the neck-breaking pace of the movie, and wondering what would happen if ''Literature/HarryPotter'' got this treatment. Cue a speed-through summary of the ''Harry Potter'' ending, with the Critic remarking that it would actually be an ''improvement''.
1112-->'''Critic:''' Harry Potter had a family, but he didn't like them, but it's okay because he's going to a school where others like him, and there's magic, and he's magic too. But there's a bad teacher who it turns out isn't bad, but then it turns out he is bad, but then it turns out that he isn't bad, maybe.\
1113'''JO:''' There's also a bunch of bad kids and a bad guy with no nose and they're really evil, except for they might be good, except for one student who might be good, and there's also a teacher who might be good, might be evil, not entirely sure, and they all lived in three books pointlessly stretched out to seven, ever after.
1114* When a large number of Digimon are named:
1115-->'''Critic:''' [[SarcasmMode You can collect 'em all in each]] UsefulNotes/{{McDonalds}} [[SarcasmMode Happy Meal!]]
1116** JO responds by pointing out that Dairy Queen was the restaurant that made toys for the Digimon franchise. The Critic asks her how (s)he could know that without being deeply ashamed. JO's response?
1117--->'''JO:''' ''(in a very quiet voice)'' I never said I wasn't.
1118* JO revealing the true reason they dubbed the movie:
1119-->[[MoneyDearBoy "MAKE MONEY! MOAR MONEY FOR FOX KIDS!"]]
1120* JO's jab at the blatant ProductPlacement:
1121-->'''Kari:''' I got my friend a pink [[Franchise/PowerRangers Power Ranger]]!\
1122'''JO:''' Guess what show the [[Creator/SabanEntertainment company who dubbed this]] ''also'' owned?\
1123'''Critic:''' ''(adamantly)'' ''[[WesternAnimation/YogiBear Yogi]] [[ComicallyMissingThePoint Bear]]''?\
1124''(JO just stares at him blankly)''\
1125'''Critic:''' ...[[JustForFun/IThoughtItMeant I thought that]] [[CampGay maybe the Ranger went gay]].
1126* Their comment on the ''WesternAnimation/AngelaAnaconda'' short:
1127-->'''JO:''' [[OhCrap Oh, fuck me]], [[ThisIsGonnaSuck I forgot about this part...]]\
1128'''Critic:''' ''([[ShoutOut doing his best impression of]] [[DrillSergeantNasty Sergeant]] [[Film/FullMetalJacket Hartman]])'' '''WHAT the FUCK is that?!''' [[MistakenIdentity God, these Digimon are even more hideous than I imagined!]]
1129** Made better in the commentary: JO says (s)he actually ''did'' forget about that sequence until (s)he had to watch the movie again for the review.
1130--->'''Critic''': [[DisneyAcidSequence It's like an extreme night terror]] [[PinkElephants if you passed out drinking moonshine]] [[ShoutOut while watching]] Creator/TerryGilliam [[BigLippedAlligatorMoment cartoons]]!
1131** Then:
1132--->'''Critic:''' What's next, [[WesternAnimation/SpongeBobSquarePants SpongeBob]] racing in to see ''Film/TheLastAirbender''?\
1133''(the infamous [[MemeticMutation Pebble Dance scene]] plays)''\
1134'''[[WesternAnimation/SpongeBobSquarePants SpongeBob]]:''' Boy, Shyamalan needs to throw in the towel.\
1135'''Sandy:''' I thought there were [[Film/{{Avatar}} blue cats]] in this.
1136** It even doubles as a CallBack--JO was one of the reviewers in the TGWTG ''The Last Airbender'' crossover review.
1137* Their constant mocking of the film's ContinuityLockout problems despite the notion it was supposed to be accessible to newcomers.
1138[[/folder]]
1139
1140[[folder:Top 11 F*** YEAH Movie Themes]]
1141* "''Music!'' MUSIC!! ''MUSIC!!!'' '''[[LargeHam MEEEEEEEUSIC...!!!!]]'''"
1142* While talking about how music can help carry a scene, he plays the [[Film/TheWizardOfOz Lollipop Guild]] song with a scene from ''Film/{{Shaft}}''.
1143* How he can't keep up the macho gritted-teeth "fuck yeah" posturing for long.
1144* He praises the various renditions of the ''Series/MissionImpossible'' theme from the [[Film/MissionImpossibleFilmSeries movies]], including the electric guitar rendition for the [[Film/MissionImpossibleII second film]], and then remembers that it's a Music/LimpBizkit song and fast-forwards past the verse.
1145* His reason for making the themes to ''Franchise/IndianaJones'' and ''Film/{{Superman|TheMovie}}'' a tie? A game he used to play in high school.
1146-->'''Nostalgia Critic:''' Sing ''Indiana Jones''.\
1147'''Nostalgia Critic/Other Guy:''' ''(does so)''\
1148'''Nostalgia Critic:''' Now, sing ''Superman''.\
1149'''Nostalgia Critic/Other Guy:''' ''(starts to sing ''Indiana Jones'' but realizes it's the same in the first few bars)'' ...''Superman''.
1150** "That's right, Indy! Get that Nazi who looks like that Nazi from ''[[Film/TheBluesBrothers Blues Brothers]]''! I think they're brothers."
1151* The Trauma Monkey Plushie appears yet again, with the Critic sleeping with it, and then accidentally beating the crap out of the thing when the ''Franchise/MortalKombat'' theme song starts up.
1152** The Critic's utter ''disgust'' when he's reading ''Fifty Shades Of Gray''...which swiftly turns into excitement the moment the theme plays.
1153--->'''Critic:''' ([[{{Squick}} With clear disgust]]) "[[IKEAErotica Christian squirts baby oil into his hand, and rubs my behind with careful tenderness?]]"\
1154'''''MORRR''-TAL KOM-''BAAAAT!!!'''''\
1155'''Nostalgia Critic:''' ''[[MundaneMadeAwesome ...From makeup remover to soothing balm]] for a spanked ass! [[JustThinkOfThePotential Who'd have thought it was such a versatile liquid?!]]'' '''[[LargeHam AAAAAAHHH!!!]]'''
1156** "MORRRR-TAL COMMER-CIAAAALS!!! [[OhCrap ...Wait!]] Damn cue cards--!" *''Commercial break''*
1157** Later, after the plushie forgives the Critic for clobbering him, the Critic celebrates, with the ''Franchise/BackToTheFuture'' theme playing...only for it to change to the ''Film/MortalKombatTheMovie'' theme. The plushie gets beat up again.
1158-->"MR. MONKEY!!!"
1159* "I'll shoot off faster than I...[[DoubleEntendre shoot off]]!"
1160* ...TRUCK!!!!!!!!
1161* While describing the theme for ''Film/{{Batman}}''...
1162-->'''Critic:''' It's dark, it's brooding, it's mysterious. It builds up to a big payoff... [[SophisticatedAsHell and then it says]] [[PrecisionFStrike "Fuck off,]] [[CatchPhrase I'm Batman,]] [[ThisIsForEmphasisBitch bitch!"]]
1163* "I'm the Nostalgia Critic, and you're welcome for the most awesome playlist that has ever existed."
1164[[/folder]]
1165
1166[[folder:Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2]]
1167* Brentalfloss and Uncle Yo pulling a [[OfCorpseHesAlive Weekend at Bernie's]] at the Critic's panel, with Brent "apologizing" for the Critic's crotch-shot in ''WebVideo/SuburbanKnights''. Also proves HilariousInHindsight for the ending.
1168** When a fan asks what his favorite review is, the two argue over ''[[CallBack Moulin Rouge!]]'' [[CallBack and]] ''[[CallBack Ponyo]]''.
1169--->'''"Nostalgia Critic":''' Does that answer your question?\
1170'''Fan:''' ... No...\
1171'''Brentalfloss and Uncle Yo:''' ''(both pop out from behind the Critic)'' '''Tough!'''
1172** The fan's facial reaction throughout the whole argument and the above exchange is also priceless. It's practically a silent FlatWhat.
1173** Becomes HilariousInHindsight when we learn that ''Film/MoulinRouge'' was the Critic's favorite review.
1174* The Critic's smugness at managing to pull off twenty minutes of pretending to be comatose.
1175* Three--[[Creator/TeamFourStar eventually six]]--men sharing a king-sized bed and reading from ''Literature/FiftyShadesOfGrey''. While doing impressions of WesternAnimation/MickeyMouse, WesternAnimation/{{Droopy}}, Creator/LiamNeeson, [[WesternAnimation/TheVentureBrothers The Monarch]], [[WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}} Dr. Zoidberg]] and Creator/NicolasCage.
1176** After they... exhaust... themselves maniacally laughing over it, they eventually decide to all jerk off in the bathroom together, dragging Uncle Yo in with them.
1177** "I'm the only one here who's black!"
1178** Special mention to the fact that everyone - sans Brentalfloss and Uncle Yo - actually did read Fifty Shades of Grey in varying voices while at ConnectiCon.
1179* Brentalfloss and Uncle Yo, excited that the Critic can understand what they're saying, have a celebration:
1180-->'''Uncle Yo:''' Do you know what this calls for?\
1181'''Brentalfloss:''' What's that?\
1182'''Uncle Yo:''' More ''Fifty Shades of Grey''!\
1183'''Brentalfloss:''' Alright!\
1184''(they flip through the book)''\
1185'''Brentalfloss:''' Done that, done that, done ''that'', wanna do that.\
1186'''Uncle Yo:''' [[NoodleImplements I have a Saint Bernard,]] [[BestialityIsDepraved you wanna borrow it?]]
1187** "While these two horny bastards read their ''Twilight'' porn..."
1188* Which film clip is used to reveal the massive twist?
1189--->"'''''[[Film/{{Troll 2}} OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!]]'''''"
1190** And then he says that the twist of [[BigBad Jon Voight]] [[LukeIAmYourFather being Kahuna's brother]] is... [[ActuallyPrettyFunny Actually Pretty Good]]. It didn't have so much {{Foreshadowing}} that ItWasHisSled, yet had just enough {{Foreshadowing}} (i.e. a FlashBack showing Kahuna's brother [[GreenEyedMonster being envious of him as a teenager]]) that it wasn't a complete AssPull. As far as TheReveal goes, this example was done pretty well, and is completely logical... that is, for ''[[DamnedByFaintPraise Baby Geniuses 2]]'' standards.
1191* After describing Kahuna's headquarters as "[[Film/WillyWonkaAndTheChocolateFactory Willy Wonka's]] [[Film/BatmanBegins Batcave]]":
1192-->"There is no life I know, to compare with BATMAN!!"
1193* "It’s okay, I just murdered an innocent child. I have money and an accent, so that’s fine."
1194* The Critic making a sly TakeThat at [[Creator/FourKidsEntertainment 4Kids]] when Jon Voight unveils plans for a children's TV network.
1195* "WesternAnimation/DonaldDuck [[WesternAnimation/DerFuehrersFace was a better Nazi than you!]]"
1196* [[http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/94/youcandoitunlessyouhave.png/ "You can do it! Unless you have to climb stairs; in which case, you cannot."]]
1197* From the opening scene of Kahuna rescuing children from a Berlin prison camp:
1198-->'''Critic:''' You might be thinking that the Creator/DisneyChannel is airing their production of ''Film/SchindlersList''...
1199* "Well, I've always said relationships are more shallow the closer you get to Hollywood." ''[[{{Rimshot}} *badum-chh*]]'' "Hey, c'mon, it's better than half the jokes they're putting out."
1200* After Jon Voight mugs for the camera:
1201-->'''Critic:''' Ew. No wonder Angelina Jolie is so messed up. If I had to see that through my childhood, I’d probably have some issues, too.
1202[[/folder]]
1203
1204[[folder:Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom]]
1205* The Critic seeing Team [[WebVideo/EightiesDan 80s Dan]] still frozen in motion after the commercial break, and attempting to do it himself in the credits.
1206-->"80s Dan is filmed in front of a live Thuggee sacrifice!"
1207* Team 80s Dan's reaction to ''Film/IndianaJonesAndTheKingdomOfTheCrystalSkull'':
1208-->'''‘80s Dan:''' Horrendous!\
1209'''Dolly:''' Poppy shit.\
1210'''‘80s Dan:''' [[BreadEggsBreadedEggs It's horrendous poppy shit.]]\
1211'''Mr. Crabtree:''' Anus bubble.\
1212'''Mrs. Crabtree:''' Cancer sore.\
1213'''Mr. Crabtree:''' Vomit dick.\
1214'''Dolly:''' Douche sucker.\
1215'''‘80s Dan:''' Turd!\
1216'''R.O.B. the Robot:''' Well, I, for one, ''loved'' it.\
1217'''Mr. Crabtree:''' Shut up, Rob.\
1218'''R.O.B. the Robot:''' You're a dick!\
1219''(canned studio laughter)''
1220* His [[OverlyLongGag barrage of disbelieving "no,]] ''[[OverlyLongGag no]]'', [[OverlyLongGag NO,]] ''[[OverlyLongGag NO]]''[[OverlyLongGag !"]] during the raft scene.
1221* His [[AmazonChaser fanboy boner]] over Marion exploding Willie's head.
1222* The head of WebVideo/TheNostalgiaChick's puppy is edited in as Kali's replacement.
1223* The 80's Dan crew tries to convince the Critic that "Creepy Weird Skull Hat Guy" is a memorable villain. He asks for his name, and is told matter-of-factly, "Creepy Weird Skull Hat Guy".
1224** The outtake at the end has Brad break character and tell him "It's Mola Ram, you asshole".
1225* Comparing Mola Ram to [[Film/ManosTheHandsOfFate The Master]].
1226-->'''Critic:''' ''(about the Master)'' Give some credit; that guy's phony-baloney nonsense is probably closer to a real religion than this one is.
1227* The [[RunningGag constant ribbing]] about the name "Willie".
1228* Knowing he should be offended at the the infamous dinner at Pankot Palace where Willie faints when she sees the monkey brains, but loving Indian food too much to care.
1229* Adding ''VideoGame/DonkeyKongCountry1'' music to the mine cart scene.
1230* He interprets the sacrifice as how FOX News fires journalists.
1231-->"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say Obama had a point!"\
1232"I won't tell Glen [sic] Beck to stop crying again!"\
1233"I swear I thought "Fair and Balanced" really WAS a joke!"
1234** Plus, his terrified facial expressions throughout.
1235* During the bridge scene, the Critic cuts to The Cinema Snob's attempt in ''WebVideo/SuburbanKnights''.
1236-->'''Critic:''' Hehehe, I couldn't resist.
1237* After Indy becomes BrainwashedAndCrazy after being forced to drink Mola Ram's Blood of Kali...
1238-->'''Critic (as Indy):''' [[Film/ThePhantomMenace Midichlorians is a great idea!]] ''(EvilLaugh)''
1239* When Mola Ram escapes via a trapdoor:
1240--->'''Critic (as Mola Ram):''' Until next time, Franchise/{{Batman}}! HOO HOO HOO!
1241* The Critic mentions that one of Indy's maneuvers involved balloons. It then cuts to the library scene from Stephen King's ''Literature/{{IT}}'' and ends on Tim Curry's laughter.
1242-->"Try 'em!"\
1243-"Wa-HA! Wa-HA! Wa-HA!"
1244* The HypocriticalHumor of Mrs. Crabtree calling out the Critic for picking on a child actor (Short Round), then agreeing with Dolly that [[Film/ThePhantomMenace Jake Lloyd]] was sh*t.
1245** More HypocriticalHumor from the Critic regarding Short Round:
1246--->"Is there anything more annoying than someone that just screams every other line they say? ''I MEAN, THAT’S REALLY OBNOXIOUS!!!''"
1247* "'''''[[WesternAnimation/TheRenAndStimpyShow SHUUUT UUUUUUUUUP!!! I CAN'T STAND IT ANYMORE!!!]]'''''"
1248* The children mining for magic stones.
1249-->[[WesternAnimation/SnowWhiteAndTheSevenDwarfs "Heigh-ho! Heigh-ho! It's home from work we--"]] *''[[KilledMidSentence CRACK!!!]]''*
1250* The Critic showing how horrible he thinks Willie is by using a clip from ''Film/BatmanAndRobin'', and saying that the movie forced him to do it.
1251* The Critic being so annoyed by Willie that he actually moves her up on his "Top 11 Dumbasses in Distress" List, having her switch places with Jubilee, whom he thinks has a weird fashion sense but at least tries.
1252* During the final fight of the movie, Indy actually makes the bad guy hit himself:
1253-->'''Critic Indy:''' *''In a mocking tone''* Stop sacrificing yourself to Kali~! Stop sacrificing yourself to Kali~!
1254* The "Indian Doc Brown", as the Critic calls him, is happy to see Willie leave on an elephant, while she keeps whining about needing to contact her agent, because the village no longer has to put up with her anymore.
1255-->'''Indian Doc Brown:''' (Thank you for sending the annoying white woman away. We shall celebrate by watching Rob Schneider movies.)
1256* The Critic thinking about how the fight choreography between Indy and one Thugee guard alternates between "action-packed and WesternAnimation/{{Goofy}} cartoon". During the fight, cartoon sound effects are heard. As the Thugee guard gets crushed by the rock crusher at the end of the conveyor belt, he lets loose with the [[StockScream Goofy holler]].
1257* The Critic thinks Indy's friend Wu Han is just "a wasted script page". When Wu Han gets shot and killed...
1258-->'''Critic:''' Farewell, totally pointless Lucas character. You'll be buried next to Mac from ''[[Film/IndianaJonesAndTheKingdomOfTheCrystalSkull Kingdom of the Crystal Skull]]'' and the Bothans from ''Franchise/StarWars''.
1259[[/folder]]
1260
1261[[folder:The Wiz]]
1262* The Critic thinking WebVideo/ToddInTheShadows is going to rape him, and trying to knock him out with an utterly pathetic punch. [[EpicFail He misses completely and falls on the floor]].
1263** Even better, when he finds out that it's just Todd and not some scary guy there to hurt him, [[ArentYouGoingToRavishMe he sounds disappointed]]. And then proceeds to have a sulky expression for at least half of the review.
1264* The note from Chester A. Bum reminding him about the crossover:
1265-->"Dear Nostalgia [=McCritic=], do not forget your appointment with Batman."
1266* The Critic denying that he does crossovers, in the face of the evidence of the past two months, and being interrupted by a random WebVideo/PawDugan.
1267* All that the Critic seems to remember about Todd is that he reviewed ''Glitter'', when really, sane people would recall things like going to eyebrow waxings together, a certain stalker Todd has, or saving the world from an EvilLuddite.
1268* In reaction to the opening song being completely opposite in tone to ''Somewhere Over The Rainbow'', the Critic compares it to ''WesternAnimation/BeautyAndTheBeast'', where instead of ''Be Our Guest'' they sang "GET DE FUCK OUT!" *''SLAM''*
1269* "Remember, there's no place like home... unless you're twenty-four and you have a job; in which case, move out, you fucking freeloader!"
1270* "TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENYYYYYY, TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENYYYYY...!"
1271** Their confused/disturbed expression when that line happens, plus the Critic's DeathGlare when Todd does it later.
1272** [[Film/TheStarWarsHolidaySpecial "Stir-whip, stir-whip, whip-whip-stir-WHAA!!"]]
1273** Their [[NoJustNoReaction disgusted reaction]] to having to use a clip from that movie.
1274* At the final musical number (Diana Ross singing and staring at the audience with a black background), the Critic says it's worse than Diahann Carroll's performance in ''The Star Wars Holiday Special''. He then lampshades that this movie somehow brought out two references to the special.
1275* Their glee at the poppy-field scene being turned into a place with hookers.
1276-->"Oh, I'll get you my pretty."\
1277"There's no place like hoes."\
1278"Hookers, hotties and babes, oh my!"
1279* When the Critic thinks that he can finally relax, Linkara shows up to review the ''Film/SwampThing'' movie. He promptly gets punched in the head.
1280-->'''Critic:''' Maybe now, I can get some rest and relax-friggin'-ation...\
1281'''Linkara:''' ''(walks on-screen, sits next to the Critic)'' Hello everybody, and welcome to yet another Linkara and Nostalgia Critic crossover, where we talk about the ''Swamp Thing'' movie!\
1282* ''POW!!!''*
1283* [[WesternAnimation/DuckAmuck "A close-up, ya jerk! A CLOSE-UP!!"]]
1284** Also, Todd suggests doing the review in the corner, facing away from the camera. "Now this is how you do a review!"
1285* Todd's reaction to the sweatshop workers undressing themselves and dancing around.
1286-->''(voice breaking)'' "... I need an adult."
1287** Especially since it comes right after him admitting that he's actually starting to like the movie, plus the Critic's facial expression.
1288* Their reaction to the Oz cabs driving away from the characters.
1289-->'''Todd:''' Okay, why exactly ''can't'' they catch a cab? Because they're black? [[FridgeLogic But]] ''[[FridgeLogic everyone's]]'' [[FridgeLogic black in this univ]]-- ...Whatever.
1290* "Believe in yourself! Pin babies to the wall! Obviously..."
1291* Todd and the Critic comparing ''He's the Wizard'' to a ''Series/SesameStreet'' song.
1292-->"Because the Wiz is a person in your neighborhood, in your neighborhood, in your neighborhood..."
1293* Todd's failed attempts to choose a movie to review.
1294-->'''Todd:''' ...Michael Jackson's magnum opus: ''Moonwalker''!\
1295'''Critic:''' Did it.\
1296'''Todd:''' ''Cool As Ice''!\
1297'''Critic:''' Did it.\
1298'''Todd:''' ''Glitter''?\
1299'''Critic:''' ''You'' did it.\
1300'''Todd:''' Seriously? Man, I gotta start watching my own stuff.
1301* "Once the fastest metal mouth on the midway... frozen!" "[[Film/SuburbanCommando TODAY!]]"
1302* The "conversation" when Dorothy returns home:
1303-->'''Dorothy:''' Oh, Auntie Em, I had the most awful dream! And you weren't there, and you weren't there, none of you were there, oh, I'm so glad to be home!\
1304'''Auntie Em:''' Are you still here? Why haven't you moved out yet?!
1305* The Critic questioning why there is a tornado during a snowstorm ''in New York.''
1306-->'''Todd:''' You know, [[NinjaPirateZombieRobot blizzard tornadoes]]. [[InsaneTrollLogic Happens all the time in New York. Along with the earthquake volcanoes.]]
1307* The Critic's reaction to finding out that Creator/JoelSchumacher wrote the screenplay.
1308-->'''Critic:''' What, does he put [[Film/BatmanAndRobin bat-nipples]] on the Tin Man?\
1309'''Todd:''' Come on. It's a great play, it's a great iconic story. Who could screw that up?\
1310'''Critic:''' Schumacher could find a way. Everything he touches turns to dick. ''(beat)'' And that's not a reference to his homosexuality. I think he's just a terrible storyteller.
1311* "[[ToiletHumor Well, I don't wanna get too dirty, but there's a reason the Yellow Brick Road is yellow.]]"
1312** "[[WesternAnimation/TheRenAndStimpyShow Don't Whiz on the Electric Fence!]]"
1313* "[[Film/IndianaJonesAndTheLastCrusade This is]] [[RunningGag intolerable!]]"
1314* Their constant mocking of the [[RealIsBrown ugly]], [[SpecialEffectFailure fake]] sets of Oz.
1315* The Critic is unimpressed with the monsters in the Subway scene just being inanimate objects with teeth, and wonders if a killer drawer is next.
1316-->"'''DRAWER! DRAWER! OH MY GOD, A DRAWER! ''DRAWER, DRAWER, DRAWER, DRAWER, DRAWER!!!!'''''"
1317** Their reaction to the [[NightmareFuel shifty guy and his puppets]] earlier in the scene, however...
1318--->'''Todd:''' ... mother.
1319* When the Witch's musical number starts, the Critic and Todd admit that they actually like the scene and [[RootingForTheEmpire kind of wish that the witch would win]].
1320[[/folder]]
1321
1322[[folder:Total Recall]]
1323* The Critic's rather... logical explanation for why they censored the three-breasted stripper: people jerking off to it would be depriving the original creator of credit.
1324** "Besides, four would've been hotter."
1325* This scene:
1326-->'''Lori:''' Sweetheart, be reasonable. After all, we're married! ''(gets a headshot)''\
1327'''Douglas Quaid:''' Consider that a divorce! "''[[Series/CSIMiami YYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!]]''"
1328* When the opening credits begin:
1329-->'''Critic:''' So, our movie opens up with an obnoxious ripoff--I mean tribute to the titles in the ''Franchise/{{Terminator}}'' movie; mixing it to look like the ''Film/{{Superman|TheMovie}}'' credits are melting.\
1330'''Guy:''' ''(reading names appearing on-screen)'' Sharon Stone, huh?\
1331'''Critic:''' Opinion lowers.\
1332'''Guy:''' Michael Ironside.\
1333'''Critic:''' Opinion rises!\
1334'''Guy:''' Hey, Ronny Cox.\
1335'''Critic:''' Yeah, I came down with a case of that. Penicillin knocked it right out.
1336* When Lori says, "Sorry, Quaid, your whole life is just a dream," they underscore how Quaid is probably taking the news by dubbing in the losing horns sound from ''Series/ThePriceIsRight''.
1337* After Benny's betrayal:
1338-->'''Critic (as Arnold):''' I am working on my one-liner for your death scene even as we speak!
1339* "See you at the party, Richter!"
1340-->'''Critic (as Arnold):''' [[HurricaneOfPuns I'll lend you a hand! We'll have a farewell to arms! It won't be too limiting!]] [[DontExplainTheJoke Get it? Because I took your limbs!]]
1341* After learning of Rekall:
1342-->'''Critic:''' Yes, hello Rekall? I'll need [[NoodleImplements one thousand pounds of unsalted butter and then an exquisite chinchilla]], and once it's all introduced into the--\
1343'''Guy''': Uhhh...''what??''\
1344'''Critic''': PRIVATE CONVERSATION!!! ''(brings down a green screen reading "PRIVATE CONVERSATION (Let pervs be pervs)" as lounge music plays)''
1345* The Critic giving instructions to the Guy to avoid being detected, involving wrapping a wet towel around his head, wearing a robe, puffing his chest out like he's cock of the walk, some Reddi-Whip, [[BreadEggsMilkSquick and shaving his testicles]].
1346** "You know it's true, because I was able to say it without laughing my ass off!"
1347* The Critic finds "just shove ''real'' hard" to be incredibly disturbing when coming from Arnold. Cue the inevitable [[VoiceClipSong "GET YOUR ASS TO MARS" remix]].
1348** "I can possibly never get an erection again."
1349* The Critic reprogramming Dr. Wiki to insult the Guy.
1350** This is preceded by the Critic asking the Guy about ExplosiveDecompression [[FlameWar and whether it's realistic]].
1351--->'''Guy:''' ''({{beat}} after [[OhCrap going wide-eyed]])'' There is no conclusive evidence one way or another.
1352* At the end of the video, the Critic threatens to put the Guy in a corner again. The Guy counters by saying he's technically in his own area...but through the magic of digital editing, the Critic puts his clip in the corner of the screen anyways before muting him. Then the Critic admits that he only wanted to screw with the Guy on the ambiguous ending. As the Critic leaves, the Guy frantically pulls out a clipboard with "CLIP" written on it, to which the Critic returns and plays a silly Arnold face.
1353* All the arguments about the movie being a [[MindScrew dream or not]], resulting to the two things over to happen.
1354* Critic and Guy contemplating what exactly Cohageen meant when he said "I'll erase your ass" to Richter. While in actuality, Cohagen means "I'll kill you," they think it means something else.
1355[[/folder]]
1356
1357[[folder:Scooby-Doo]]
1358* "Get the dog; [[Film/TheGodfather take the cannoli!]]"
1359* The Critic arguing with his younger self, who's excited about seeing the Film/ScoobyDoo movie.
1360-->'''Young Critic:''' They say it's a satirical, hip new look at the characters I know and love.\
1361'''Critic:''' But it's not well done. It's just a corporate sellout.\
1362'''Young Critic:''' Oh. Well, forget it, I hate corporate sellouts. They're all narcs! They can all just kiss my ass! [[HypocriticalHumor Hey, by the way, what's it like making bajillions of dollars selling your ideas?]]
1363** The above exchange leads to the Critic to insist against Young Critic making videos, before coming up with a crude explanation why not: he tells Young Critic that one day Creator/MaraWilson will use his videos to blackmail him, to which Young Critic replies: "...Dude, that's seriously the best you can do?"
1364** There's also Young Critic's reaction when he sees The Critic talk about Creator/IslaFisher and [[Film/WeddingCrashers what she does to Vince Vaughn]], only for Young Critic to stare blankly at him.
1365--->'''Young Critic:''' Do I have to become you?\
1366'''Critic:''' [[ItMakesSenseInContext It works in context!]]
1367** And then, after complaining about how both she and Shaggy like Scooby Snax...
1368--->'''Critic''': It's like finding the really hot chick who loves playing video games, eating Hot Pockets, and [[BasementDweller living in your mother's house]]!\
1369'''Young Critic''': Or the one who likes Vince Vaughn tied to a bed with a sock in his mouth.\
1370'''Critic''': ''It works in context''!
1371* Putting up a counter of how much money was wasted on the effects of the pointless [[ToiletHumor farting and burping scene]].
1372** "Oh, the good cause this money could have gone to."
1373* The Critic and Young!Critic booing the BaitAndSwitch joke of smoke and giggling emanating from the Mystery Machine turning out to be Shaggy and Scooby grilling burgers.
1374* This bit:
1375-->'''Old Critic:''' Hey, look! Velma's talking to a guy for a minute. [[{{Genre Savvy}} I guess that means they're gonna get together at the end]].\
1376'''Young Critic:''' Oh, please. Everybody knows that [[LesYay she's saving herself for Daphne]].
1377* Comparing Scrappy's OneWingedAngel form to [[WesternAnimation/TheLionKing1994 Pumbaa]].
1378** "Hello, Timon! I've come to eat your soul!!"
1379** Also, when it's revealed that Scrappy is the villain.
1380-->'''Old Critic:''' Called it!\
1381''(the other Critics start complaining)''
1382* Their reaction to [[ManIFeelLikeAWoman Fred's excitement of having Daphne's body]]:
1383-->'''Old Critic:''' ...This movie was intended for children, right?\
1384'''Young Critic:''' I don't think it was intended for ''anybody''.
1385* When the gang steps into the Gothic, cobwebby backstage of a ride, the music from a similar scene in ''Film/EdwardScissorhands'' starts playing.
1386** Quickly followed by Old!Critic commenting how "Normally it's the actors ChewingTheScenery, not [[SceneryPorn the scenery]] chewing [[DullSurprise the actors]]."
1387* The Critic momentarily appearing in Purgatory and meeting Roger.
1388** The Critic casually telling Roger that he ate his goldfish.
1389* After the Critics save the timestream, Roger congratulates the present one and tries to float away, all mystic-like...and then just walks off normally.
1390** Even funnier, to viewers who know the reference ahead of time, it's a WholePlotReference to ''Series/StarTrekTheNextGeneration'''s series finale, "All Good Things...", with Roger in place of Q--and it subverts the hell out of it. (Fitting, considering it was intended as the last proper episode of the show.)
1391* Rob's cameo at the ending, where he reveals that he hosts a poker game (with characters such as 80's Dan and the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come).
1392-->'''Dan:''' Well, I think I'm gonna win tonight, because I've been studying both your poker faces.\
1393'''[[TheFaceless Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come]]:''' [[SarcasmMode ...Good luck with that.]]
1394** And the kicker? Rob's ''still'' a dinosaur, as he loves to inform everyone.
1395--->'''Rob:''' I'm a dinosaur.\
1396'''Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come:''' This is undisputably true.
1397** Even though the following poker game is a huge SugarWiki/{{Heartwarming Moment|s}} for the Critic, there is this funny exchange when the Critic is dealing cards.
1398--->'''Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come:''' You know, we already have cards--\
1399'''Critic:''' Don't ruin the moment.
1400* This bit:
1401-->'''Fred:''' Scrappy, I told you: no urinating on Daphne!\
1402'''Critic (as Fred):''' That's ''my'' job!
1403* Future Critic has, apparently, forgotten everything about his childhood. It manages to be both funny and really sad at the same time.
1404* The Critics' reaction to Shaggy's [[OutOfCharacterMoment Out of Character]] [[CowardlyLion cowardly]] [[DirtyCoward moment,]] after Fred and Velma get captured.
1405-->'''Daphne:''' Fred and Velma always figured out everything.\
1406'''Critic (as Shaggy):''' My middle name is Judas!!
1407* Everything about this line, upon watching a white college student limp his way through a selection of "ghetto" slang and "izzles":
1408-->'''Critic:''' White people: Making life uncool since the dawn of time.
1409* When Shaggy and Scooby meet Isla Fisher's character.
1410** Also guess what is her name: Mary Jane!
1411--->'''Critic:''' You should totally meet her sister. POT!
1412* One of Young Critic's attempts to defend the film and Present Critic's deadpan response:
1413-->'''Young Critic:''' It's a satire! Name one time when a satire doesn't automatically make the film funny-''[the posters for three Creator/SeltzerAndFriedberg movies show up on the screen]'' I don't know what those are yet...
1414[[/folder]]

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