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5[[Funny/TheNostalgiaCritic Main]] | [[Funny/TheNostalgiaCritic2007Episodes 2007]] | [[Funny/TheNostalgiaCritic2008Episodes 2008]] | [[Funny/TheNostalgiaCritic2009Episodes 2009]] | '''2010''' | [[Funny/TheNostalgiaCritic2011Episodes 2011]] | [[Funny/TheNostalgiaCritic2012Episodes 2012]] | [[Funny/TheNostalgiaCritic2013Episodes 2013]] | [[Funny/TheNostalgiaCritic2014Episodes 2014]] | [[Funny/TheNostalgiaCritic2015Episodes 2015]] | [[Funny/TheNostalgiaCritic2016Episodes 2016]] | [[Funny/TheNostalgiaCritic2017Episodes 2017]] | [[Funny/TheNostalgiaCritic2018Episodes 2018]] | [[Funny/TheNostalgiaCritic2019Episodes 2019]] | [[Funny/TheNostalgiaCritic2020Episodes 2020]] | [[Funny/TheNostalgiaCritic2021Episodes 2021]] | [[Funny/TheNostalgiaCritic2022Episodes 2022]] | [[Funny/TheNostalgiaCritic2023Episodes 2023]] | [[Funny/TheNostalgiaCritic2024Episodes 2024]]
6
7[[foldercontrol]]
8[[folder:Commando]]
9* Talking to a boom box:
10-->'''Boom box:''' This message will self-destruct in one second. \
11'''Critic:''' Eh? ''(BOOM!!!)''
12* "OOOOHOHOHOHO, YOU GOT ICE CREAM ON MY FACE! OHOHO, WHAT A SPECTACLE! IT'S STILL ON MY FACE! I SHALL REMEMBER THIS FOREVER, AS '''''[[LargeHam ICE CREAM DAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!]]'''''"
13* Critic {{lampshad|eHanging}}ing how Creator/{{Arnold|Schwarzenegger}} is an InvincibleHero and OneManArmy. He starts out by showing Ahnold owning the {{mooks}}. Then he shows a bomber flying at him. The camera cuts to Arnold, and the plane crashes and explodes. Then there's a clip of charging Mûmakil from ''Film/TheLordOfTheRingsTheReturnOfTheKing'': cut to Arnold, they all fall over in a screaming, armored-elephant heap. ''Then'' he shows [[Franchise/StarWars the Death Star]]...
14* Critic wildly firing his gun in random directions, including at his own head, and still somehow hitting the random mooks from the film.
15* The opening sequence, which plasters Doug's wonderful mug over various posters from other Ah-nold movies, all set to the VoiceClipSong of "Put That Cookie Down".
16* "Heh heh. 'Dead tired.' She doesn't get it now but when she does she's going to laaaaugh…"
17* "''Oh yeah. You like watching two people doin' it while Arnold Schwarzenegger and some random black guy are fighting in the background? Our research says that at least 1% of the population does. That's why we're presenting 'Some Like It Rough'. Because we know somebody gets off on this.''"
18* "Okay, this is just a competition of who can make the sillier face now!"
19* [[WesternAnimation/PeterPan "Captain... No 'splash'!"]]
20*
21-->'''Arnold:''' You're a funny guy, Sully. I like you. That's why I'm gonna kill you last. '''''[[Series/CSIMiami YEEEEEAAAAHHHH!!!]]'''''
22* '''YOU HAVE TO CALL COLLEEEEECT! IT WILL SAVE YOU MONEY AND IS SO MUCH CHEAPER FOR THE OTHER CALLER!'''
23* When John breaks his promise to kill Sully last:
24-->'''John:''' ILied (lets him go) \
25'''Critic:''' Oh, my God, that was awesome!
26* "This is starting to look more like a ''Jackass'' stunt."
27* "Dude! Do you know how much preparation I had to put into that set up? You're a freaking a-hole!"
28* His cracks about the soundtrack.
29* 'Hello, this is your Captain speaking, asking for you to put your seats in the upright positions. We also ask you to NOT knock the person sitting beside you out, and then snap their neck, tucking them in and making them look as though they're sleeping. Thank you.'
30* The "Arnold!" song. [[LockAndLoadMontage "HE'S PUTTING THINGS INTO THIIIINGS."]]
31* [[Series/MontyPythonsFlyingCircus "Oh, I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay/I sleep all night, and apparently I wear women's clothing. Ya."]]
32* "But luckily the flight attendant is here to return your seats and tray tables to their upright--'''KICK YOUR FUCKING ASS!!!'''" ''(KABOOM!!!)''
33* "Mommy, I want some ice-cream, some cookies, and I want it now, '''now now now now NOW!!!"'''
34* [[Film/TheMatrix Neo's]] reaction to the main character's name being John Matrix:
35-->'''Neo:''' Woah!
36* This bit:
37--> '''Bennett:''' ''I'm gonna KILL YOU NOOOOOWWWWWW!!!!''\
38'''Critic:''' ''(chuckling)'' Oh my God, did he just orgasm?
39* "I'm not moving one step away from you. I'm staying right here. [=*=]beat[=*=] Right here. In this... exact... direct... pinpointed... non-moving... no-way-we're-gonna-move-at-al'''''LOOKOUT!'''''"
40[[/folder]]
41
42[[folder:Junior]]
43* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gqLH9CY4dws His reaction to the freaky Ahnold baby.]] The best part: When the Critic returns to his seat after vomiting, he starts to speak but can only squeeze out one word before breaking down again:
44-->'''Critic:''' So... ''(puts hand on face)'' God... ''(sobs)'' Continue.
45** The scene plays again, and in the next scene, we find that the Critic is in a hospital room.
46--->'''Doctor:''' In all my years, I've never seen anything like it: ''twenty straight hours'' of marathon projectile vomiting.\
47'''Nurse:''' Geez! So what do you recommend, doc?\
48'''Doctor:''' Well, certainly no more watching of ''Junior'', that much is certain.\
49'''Nurse:''' Well, he does need to finish the review.\
50'''Doctor:''' Well then, certainly no more watching of that scene. By the way, did you turn the TV off?\
51'''Nurse:''' No, I thought you did.\
52''(from inside the room, the Ahnold baby scene is heard, followed by the Critic vomiting even more)''\
53'''Doctor:''' ''(looking quite grossed out; to nurse)'' Your turn to clean it up.\
54'''Nurse:''' Yeah.
55** And then after all of that:
56--->'''Critic:''' ''(completely nonchalant)'' All right, back to the review.
57* Also, the Critic getting his own BigLippedAlligatorMoment. In which he throws in a picture of [[Series/GossipGirl Chuck Bass]].
58* Hey kids, let's play "find the joke", with Dora the Explorer!
59* And, of course, ''the reasons why men couldn't [[MisterSeahorse get pregnant]]''. Of course, there are those nasty morals and the body thing, what with men not having ''vaginas'', for instance, but it's just the tip of the iceberg.
60** Full list - It's morally insane. Men don't have vaginas. Men don't have uteruses. You'd be playing genetic Monopoly. No man would volunteer unless doing it for a movie role. There'd be a lot more complaining. Abortions would skyrocket. EVERY child would be left behind. Men would never take care of themselves properly. A man could get pregnant just by jerking off. Jesus would cry. God knows what kind of mutations would arise. This would probably be some form of incest. Every man would have his tubes tied. If a baby kicks, the man would probably kick back. No man is going through a friggin' C-section. Men are horrible at throwing baby showers. No man could resist alcohol during pregnancy. In fact, they'd probably drink more. No man is wearing a mumu [sic]. We'd just look silly. Our solution to losing the baby weight would be "Losing the baby." No man would ever have sex again if they knew a baby was coming out of it — excuse me — out of THEM! Men have no practice. Men have no patience. Men have no...just fuck it, we're not doing it!
61** Even better are these two lines:
62--->'''Critic:''' So Devito finally convinces him to get off the plane and get himself pregnant. (pause) That- that's no small feat. But Devito still needs an egg to implant into Arnold. And a vagina. AND A ''FUCKING UTERUS''!... okay, I digress.
63** And:
64--->'''Critic:''' Arnold finally goes into labor, as does Devito's ex-wife, he gives birth through... squeezing it out his penis, I have no idea [[note]]Arnold's character is actually given a caesarean section[[/note]]... and he becomes [[HappilyEverAfter the happiest]] [[OverlyNarrowSuperlative papa-mama]] [[OverlyNarrowSuperlative who ever lived]].
65* The Critic is unable to take Arnold as a brilliant scientist seriously:
66-->'''Critic:''' No, no, I know you’re trying, but you just can’t pull off “bodybuilding scientist” and take it seriously. [[Film/BatmanAndRobin Unless your wife was frozen, and got some sort of freeze disease that forces you to-]] (cut to the scene of Mr. Freeze conducting his goons to sing “Mr. Snowmiser”) Actually, that didn’t work either. Don’t play scientists!
67* The ENTIRE Dream Sequence with The Critic singing about how boring the movie is!
68[[/folder]]
69
70[[folder:Conan the Barbarian]]
71* "Oh, no, she's pulling me into ''Film/{{Avatar}}''! The visuals will be stunning, but the story will be absolute bullshit!"
72* "Guys, I told you to watch the place while I was a snake! Can't a guy just be a snake for five minutes without something going wrong?"
73* "Well, gee, when you put it like that...FUCK YOU!"
74* His impersonation of Mako at the beginning of the review, that is all. Complete with him rushing to do the "worshipping Mako" pose from the ''Sidekicks'' review as soon as he mentions the name.
75* "[[BlackComedy Conan the]] [[CrossesTheLineTwice Cummer...]][[{{Squick}} Eww.]]" Made even better with the Arnold clip from ''Pumping Iron'' where he compares working out to cumming, and the Critic has ''the'' most [[TooMuchInformation horrified]] [[{{Squick}} expression]] on his face.
76-->'''Critic:''' ... [[SarcasmMode Good for you.]]
77** And the CallBack later in the episode:
78--> '''Witch''': What is it that you seek?\
79'''Conan''': A symbol... part of a shield. Two snakes coming together.\
80'''Arnold Schwarzenegger''': Cumming in the gym, I’m getting the feeling of cumming at home...\
81'''Critic''': Okay, knock it off.
82* "Ooh! I'd like to ask her for directions!"
83* After the whole "Asking directions bit," his reaction to the woman disappearing.
84* When Conan gets nailed to the cross:
85-->'''Critic:''' To make matters worse, he's nailed right next to Eric Idle!\
86'''Eric Idle:''' ''(sings)'' [[Film/MontyPythonsLifeOfBrian Always look on the bright side of life...]] ''(Conan turns his head away from him)''
87* "Forgive them, Crom. They know not what they do."
88** "Behold! We have reached Jerusalem! Wait, what?"
89** "...Kay."
90* His reaction to Thulsa Doom ([[Creator/JamesEarlJones James Earl Jones]]) turning into a snake. His lack of emotion makes it even better.
91--> "....Well that's just silly."
92* [[Series/WheelOfFortune Wheel! Of! Torture!]]
93* "Push wheel? Look, all I understand is wheels. Please, do you have a wheel? May I push it?"
94** On that note:
95--->"Thank you, Sir. May I have a wheel now?"\
96"Will you shut up about the wheel?!"
97** And earlier:
98--->"Wait, I said give the children candy, not chain them to a wheel of torture for the rest of their lives!" ''(beat)'' "How did you even hear that?"
99* When Thulsa Doom urges a woman to jump off a cliff through his CultOfPersonality, [[Creator/{{Disney}} Goofy]] screams. Even if you don't know where it's from, it's still hilarious.
100-->YAAH-HO-HO-HWEEE!
101* When Conan is ordered to be crucified, it cuts away to [[Film/BlazingSaddles Hedley Lamar]] dismissing the idea as "Too Jewish."
102* The scene where Conan beheads Thulsa Doom and then throws his head down the steps, dubbed over with "Ow. Ow. Owowowowowow."
103* Critic's response with Conan's prayer that if Crom doesn't listen, then to hell with him: Imagining Conan praying to Crom for [[Film/AlvinAndTheChipmunks a chipmunk]] action figure from a happy meal, and if he gets a chippette... then to hell with Crom. He pulls a chippette.
104-->'''Critic:''' ''({{beat}})'' '''TO HELL WITH YOU!!'''
105[[/folder]]
106
107[[folder:Conan the Destroyer]]
108* "From the director who brought you such classics as ''Film/RedSonja'' and ''Film/DrDolittle''..."
109** "It sucks BALLS! Let's watch it..."
110* "Hail, Conan of Nazareth!"
111* "[[WesternAnimation/{{Aladdin}} Look at that, Abu. It's not everyday you see a horse with two rear ends!]]"
112* "Hehehehehe! They got me because Creator/RobSchneider was off making worse movies, a-hehehehehehehe!!"
113* "Who said I was a woman?"
114* This bit:
115-->'''Jehnna:''' How do you attract a man? \
116'''Critic:''' (as Zula) I spear him, gut him, then wear him.
117* DOUCHE.
118* Sex Talk with Weasley Guy.
119* Regarding the monster at the end...
120-->"It looks like a Rankin-Bass stop motion puppet that was shat out by Swamp Thing."
121* Similarly...
122-->"Boy, I feel a little weird saying this, but Conan is literally fighting a one-eyed, one-horned giant purple people eater. And you know what? It sure looks strange to me."
123* The brief shot of the poster for ''Film/AlvinAndTheChipmunks'' during the scene where Mako's character uses his magic to have the leader of Dagoth worshippers see the thing he fears the most.
124* "The God of Nonchalantness..."
125* The teasing about the magic spell that simply makes a "ding" sound is notable too.
126-->'''Lightning Mage Critic:''' My magic produces [[ShockAndAwe lightning]]! ''(uses force lightning)''\
127'''Fire Mage Critic:''' MY Magic produces [[PlayingWithFire FIRE]]! ''(creates a small burst of flame)''\
128'''Ding Magic Critic:''' MY magic goes... ''(DING!)''\
129'''Other Mage Critics:''' ''(unimpressed)''\
130'''Ding Magic Critic:''' ''(produces several more dings before getting force lightning in the face)''
131* "Hey! It's the Burger King's mutilated brother! ... Daniel."
132* When the wizard turns into a "[[BlatantLies hideous monster]]" to kidnap the princess. ''(cue Series/ReadingRainbow theme)''
133[[/folder]]
134
135[[folder:End of Days]]
136* Chester A. Bum as a priest.
137* The [[WesternAnimation/AliceInWonderland Mad Tea Party]] [[ItMakesSenseInContext scene]].
138* [[CatScare CAAAAAT!]]
139* [[WesternAnimation/{{Pinocchio}} "I got no strings, to hold me down..."]] "Deh ah no strings on MEEEE!!!"
140* As Arnold goes trough the bum priest's RoomFullOfCrazy with crosses scribbled on the walls:
141-->'''Critic:''' Looks like Mel Gibson's house.
142* "NOBODY EXPECTS THE [[Series/MontyPythonsFlyingCircus SPANISH INQUISITION!]]"
143* The return of Santa Christ! Who is ''also'' afraid of the CAAAAT!
144* "3-1-20". Which spells out '''CAAAAAT!'''
145* His name for the 'drink'.
146-->'''Critic:''' Big deal. Who hasn't has a Coffee-Beer-Pepto-Bismol-Chinese-Food-And-Pizza Slurpie. Or as I like to call it...Cbpbcfps.
147* This exchange...
148-->'''Marge Francis:''' The guy doesn't have a tongue.\
149'''Critic:''' ''(imitating Arnold)'' NEITHER DO I, BUT THAT DOESN'T STOP ME FROM SPEAKING, AGHAGHAGHAGH!!!
150* And this one...
151-->'''Kevin Pollak:''' Hey Arnold, say it.\
152'''Schwarzenegger''': No.\
153'''Kevin Pollak''': Come on, just say it!\
154'''Schwarzenegger:''' No.\
155'''Kevin Pollak:''' I'll pay you 50 bucks if you say it.\
156'''Schwarzenegger:''' ''(sighs)'' [[Film/{{Predator}} Get to the choppa]].\
157'''Kevin Pollak:''' Haha, you just made me splooge.
158* "Alright, who crucified the patient?" ''(points offscreen)'' "Mark?"
159* "Christine, please tell your mommy to stop beating me up! It hurts!"
160* When Arnold encourages a subway driver to speed up and hit the villain: "IT'S OKAY! IT'S THE DEVIL!"
161* Hello, random boob shot. Goodbye random boob shot.
162* This line:
163-->'''The Devil:''' Oh boy, I'm really bad at this. I can see why I was a fallen angel, 'cause I'm fallin' over everyth-- ''(KABOOM)''
164* "GAH, HEARTBURN!!!"
165* When the patients is crucified.
166--> '''NC''': Maybe he did it himself?! Oh, yeah! These self-crucifixions happen all the time, don't they?! Woman down the street? Crucifies herself all the time, I have to nail her too the floor to stop her. [[ThatCameOutWrong Not literally...]]
167* When Satan randomly kisses a woman in a restaurant:
168-->'''Husband:''' Hey, what the hell are you--\
169''(Satan turns around and glares at the husband)''\
170'''Critic (as husband)''' Whoa, Gabriel Byrne? I- I'm sorry. Continue groping my wife. Hey, everybody Gabriel Byrne is groping my wife! This is the happiest day of my li--\
171''(building explodes)''
172[[/folder]]
173
174[[folder:100th Episode: Battlefield Earth]]
175* His attempt to do a clip show; the clip he uses rebels against him.
176* Shaming the Present Critic:
177-->'''Ma-Ti:''' What happened to you, man? You used to have ''strong, plentiful balls!''\
178'''Critic:''' I do! My balls are still strong! [[TooMuchInformation And extremely plentiful!]]
179* Ma-Ti's conversation with Present Critic:
180-->'''Ma-Ti:''' No, Critic. There is one movie that you have overlooked. A Sci Fi film that is so terrible, it makes my nipples tingle with fear!
181-->'''Critic:''' ''({{Gasp}})'' You don't mean...?!
182-->'''Ma-Ti:''' ''(calmly)'' No, not that one.
183-->'''Critic:''' Oh. ''(thinks about it for a few seconds; {{Gasp}})''
184-->'''Ma-Ti:''' Nope, not that one, either.
185-->'''Critic:''' Oh. ''(thinks about it for a few more seconds)'' YOU MEAN--?!
186-->'''Ma-Ti:''' [[SuddenlyShouting YEEEEEEESSSS!!!]] [[LargeHam BATTLEFIELD EARRRRRRRRRRRRTH]]!!!
187* "It's hard to believe that such a ''handsome'' man could become even 'handsomener'... 'handsomen'... prettier." And later: "I am your Jesus."
188* Spoony as Terl. 'Nuff said.
189* The Critic introducing Creator/ForestWhitaker as "[[MoneyDearBoy Forest What-The-Fuck-Am-I-Doing-Here]]".
190* Critic has such [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=idnT9wSvStU an epic lapse in sanity from the sheer stupidity of this movie]], that the camera has to [[{{Undercrank}} speed up]] just to contain all his kicking and screaming.
191-->'''Critic:''' ''(holds his head in his hands and groans)'' So, this military force of a planet, that has an atmosphere made out of radiation, has ''never had an explosion?'' This race is more gun-happy than Charlton Heston's SHOOTING GALLERY, and yet there's NEVER BEEN AN EXPLOSION ON THIS PLANET?! They could look at a KITTEN, and somehow they'd make it blow up! THESE GUYS ARE '''CRAZY!''' THERE'S NEVER BEEN AN EXP-'''WHAT?!''' ''YOU EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE THAT?! THIS IS STUPID! THIS IS STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID!''' ''(speeds up as the Critic goes into meltdown mode)''
192** After that breakdown, he realizes that perhaps he has been attacking the movie from the wrong angle. He then proceeds to beat himself in the head with a hammer, though a rather amusing picture [[ScreamDiscretionShot hides the actual beating.]] The result? "Dulhulhul...I like spaceships."
193** And for anyone who was wondering just what exactly was being said in the rant, here it is [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-WiEI7nRTOc#t=0m29s slowed down]].
194* Him mocking the angle shots -- by having ''him'' in an angle shot, trying to prevent himself from slipping. And then promptly failing.
195-->'''Critic:''' Perhaps we could venture forth and find new worlds to explore, whaa-- ''(goes offscreen)''
196** "D'oh! If only we weren't on a planet where everything was at an angle, we could shoot straight!"
197* ''(imitating Travolta)'' "The very '''''idea''''' that ''I'' would go after a ''woman''! ''({{Beat}})'' ''Me''. John Travol--I, I mean, Terl the alien man. Yes."
198* After Planet Psychlo explodes, cut to Daffy Duck/Duck Dodgers pushing Marvin the Martian off the tiny remains of the planet. "Thisph planet ain't big enough for the two of usph. Tpho, off you go!" ''(shove)'' In that same vein, the Yosemite Sam clip earlier on: "Gold, GOLD, GOOOOOOLLLLLLDDDDDD!!!"
199* The Critic's cross-eyed facial expression during the "REEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAA-..."-scene. (at the 10:15 mark).
200* "Oh fuck you, Roger Christian, whoever the fuck you are!"
201* "So we cut back to Johnny's village... (dubbing over horn) Riiii-co-la!"
202* "Yes we can!" (cut to clip of UsefulNotes/BarackObama) "[[PunctuatedForEmphasis Yes! We! Can!]]"
203* "Psychlo... really? C'mon, this is sounding like second-grade FanFiction. ''(high voice)'' 'They LIVE on the planet PSYCHLO, where the '''EVIL''' Meanosaurus and the '''NASTY''' Bandamagoo eat up ALL the [[Literature/CharlieAndTheChocolateFactory Oompa-Loompas]].'"
204* The Critic's conversations with Terl:
205** "[[ThatMakesMeFeelAngry I'm REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEALLY ANGRY]]!"
206** And:
207--->'''Terl:''' Ha, a puny man-animal such as yourself couldn't possibly understand. We are ''far'' technologically superior. We have conquered dozens of species over hundreds of galaxies!... Or is that the other way around?\
208'''Critic:''' You couldn't conquer ''Rhode Island''! You're completely useless!
209**
210--->'''Terl:''' Listen, you're probably figuring out by now that we Psychlos are not very smart. In fact, the only reason we're able to take over any galaxies at all is that we ''fart'' nuclear bombs out of our anuses. \
211'''Critic:''' Oh. So, none of this has to do with strategic planning or superior intellect?" \
212'''Terl:''' Nope, it's just ''FARTING'' BOMBS! (laughs)
213** In his commentary for the episode, Doug says that editing Spoony's scenes was really hard because he couldn't stop laughing at the performance.
214** "It looks like someone lit a cigarette on our home planet and now the whole damn thing's going to explode."
215** "When you were learning to SPELLLLLL your name..."
216--->'''Critic:''' Oh, go away; it's like talking to a horse's vagina.
217** Reciting Shakespeare: "To BE!... or not to ''BEEEEEEEEE''!!!"
218* "At least in Planet of the Apes, the humans were dumb, so it made sense that they'd treat them like animals; but here, there's no logic! It's like Planet of the Apes without the logic! You know, like the REMAKE of Planet of the Apes!"
219* "[[LargeHam Have you ever heard of subtlety? Underplay?! A good actor-YAAAAH!]]"
220* His reaction to finding out the Psychlos haven't discovered Fort Knox. He sounds he like wants to hurt someone.
221-->'''Critic:''' No... they're not. They're honestly ''not... Son of a'' '''''BIIIIIITTTTCCCHHH!!!'''''
222* "Is this the film's attempt to be artsy? ... Because... it works about as well as ''tilting the CAMERA IN EVERY FUCKING SHOT!!''
223* "We've decided to keep you here for another 50 cycles. With endless options for renewal! ''(echoing)'' With endless options for renewal! With endless options for renewal!"
224-->'''Critic''': I'm sorry, I seem to have a problem repeating myself! Repeating myself! Repeating myself! Repeating myself! ''(smacks himself)'' I'm an idiot.
225* As Terl demonstrates his marksmanship by shooting the legs off a bunch of cattle...
226-->'''Critic''': Okay, you can shoot cows, that's wonderful, [=McDonald's=] must be very proud of you.
227[[/folder]]
228
229[[folder:Bébé's Kids]]
230* The opening sequence, which shows clips of the Destruction Scene from the previous Video Game review of the same name. Cut to the Critic's [[DeadpanSnarker deadpan]] reply:
231-->'''Critic:''' [[{{Understatement}} "I didn't like it."]]
232* The Critic, Linkara, Benzaie, Angry Joe and Phelous all trying to pronounce Tone LĹŤc's name (with the Critic being able to sneak a Bugs Bunny reference at the end by also questioning the pronunciation of Hansel).
233** [[PunctuatedForEmphasis T! One! Lock!]]
234** ''[[Film/MontyPythonAndTheHolyGrail GET ON WITH IT!!]]''
235* This has been another... pointless moment! *Ding!*
236* The Critic does a subtle Film/MenInBlack joke with park security, playing Creator/WillSmith's hip-hop tune from the film over the audio when they arrive to detain Bebe's Kids.
237* "So the kids find themselves in a courtroom where the Terminator is trying to decide if they're worth electrocuting to death while robotic Abraham Lincoln and Nixon ''defend their sides''...* fearfully checks box labeled "ACID"* ...Nope! The movie's just weird!"
238* WesternAnimation/MickeyMouse's cry of vengeance against Bébé's kids.
239-->"DAMN YOU BÉBÉ'S KIDS! THE MOUSE WILL HAVE VENGEANCE ON YOU! I WILL SEE YOU PERISH IN FLAMES! I HAVE CONNECTIONS TO THE LORD OF DARKNESS! YOUR ASS IS GRASS! THEY WON'T RECOGNIZE YOUR BODIES! I WILL STEAL YOUR SOULS, BÉBÉ'S Kiiii''iiiiids''!!!"
240* [[Film/TheMatrix "Mr. African...American."]]
241* "RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! THEY HAVE ATTITUUUDE! AAAATITUUUUUDE!"
242* "Well in the 80s and early 90s, especially in confused animated movies, they would have a music video. They served absolutely no purpose and--" * upon seeing a close-up of [[MaleGaze Jamika's ass]]* "--[[DistractedByTheSexy DAAAMN!]] Oh, um...they served absolutely no purpose..."
243* "Yeah, where's the sign that says '[[CallBack No bEVIS No VIbES]]'?"
244* "'''[[Series/Roots1977 YOUR NAME IS OPIE!]]'''" (crack!) "Winthrop."
245* "You know, I think that's how Robin would react if someone asked him about his movie. 'DID ''YOU'' MAKE THIS?!' 'No, no no, no! It was Bebe's kids!'"
246* "Are they entering North Korea?!"
247* [[AC:"I did not consider the ramifications of a well-put-together rap. I deem this... ''fly''."]]
248* This bit:
249-->'''Richard:''' So what's your name? \
250'''Critic:''' And if you can, please say it without rappin- ''(kids start rapping)'' -you son of a bitch.
251** "Jesus, I never thought I'd say this, but... where's [[Music/VanillaIce Ice]] when you need him?"
252** "Hell, where's '''''Film/{{KAZAAM}}''''' when you need him?! (shows scene he dislikes) -WAIT! NO! NO! GO BACK TO THE KIDS! GO BACK TO THE KIDS!
253* Comparing Pee-Wee to [[WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy Stewie]]:
254-->"Damm you, vile woman! You've impeded my work since the day I escaped your womb. Oh yeah."
255* The Critic on Robin's parenting skills:
256-->'''Jamika:''' You know, you’re really good with them [the kids].\
257'''Critic:''' ...Really? Because he looks like an asshole to me! But... maybe I'm missing something. I mean, hell, maybe this is, like, a brand new way of parenting. This really clever subtle way that really shows how much love you can give. Maybe this way is going to totally change the way we look at parenting—\
258'''Robin:''' I'm gonna beat the ''black'' off of you! ''(another clip)'' Don't fight fair. ''(another clip)'' I'm going to drop you like a bad habit. ''(another clip)'' Knock the ''hell'' out of them kids! ''(another clip)'' Test-tube baby.\
259'''Critic:''' [[OnSecondThought Yeah, he's an asshole.]]
260[[/folder]]
261
262[[folder:Lost in Space]]
263* Regarding Blarp: "It looks like Jar Jar Binks' aborted fetus."
264-->"Is that really the best design they could come up with? A half-chewed Mickey Mouse eraser?"
265* The Critic proving that he doesn't need the Wah-Wah machine by giving his own after many of the lame jokes: [[PunctuatedForEmphasis "WAH! WAH! WAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!"]]
266* [[Creator/GaryOldman Gary "I'm Firing My Agent" Oldman]].
267* "Hey hey, it's the Nintendo Wuss!"
268* "I love you wife."
269-->"Oh, my heart soars every time! The monotone, the absolute lack of human feeling, the way he doesn't even refer to her by her name, just the role of 'wife'! I ''swoon'' every time!"
270* "Eat peace!"
271* After hearing Penny's voice and declaring her [[Film/AlvinAndTheChipmunks the missing Chipette]], "Skankie", her voice raises progressively in speed and pitch, until: ''(BANG)'' "Eh, I didn't need those eardrums anyway."
272* Critic as spider!Smith, with all the [[LargeHam subtle]] [[EvilIsHammy nuance]] [[EvilLaugh that]] [[CardCarryingVillain implies.]]
273* His confusion at Future Dr. Smith trying to kill his past self.
274[[/folder]]
275
276[[folder:Top 11 Villain Songs]]
277* [[EvenTheGuysWantHim "God I'd go gay]] [[Creator/KeithDavid for that]] [[ArousedByTheirVoice voice."]]
278* His despairing reaction to the ''WesternAnimation/QuestForCamelot'' musical number. Especially since it comes right after him [[TemptingFate hoping the]] ''[[TemptingFate Quest For Camelot]]'' [[TemptingFate music would be]] [[SugarWiki/AwesomeMusic as awesome]] as the ones on the list.
279* "It's like [[Film/PeeweesBigAdventure Peewee's]]... '''''Earth'''''." Just the way he ''says'' that line is hilarious.
280* "Dude, you're on a ''MOUNTAIN OF EVIL'', HOW ABOUT SOME OOMPH IN YOUR VOICE?"
281* ~[[BadBadActing Be king undisputed]], [[WesternAnimation/TheLionKing1994 respected]], [[VillainSong salu]]~... [[DisneyAcidSequence How am I gonna get down from here?]]
282* "Hah-hah, I'll see you in eternal damnation, hah-hah!"
283* Catherine [=ZZZZeta-Jones=]!
284* "Couldn't you have shot ''any'' of it in Chicago? I mean, ''it's called Chicago''!" Just his delivery of that line was hilarious.
285[[/folder]]
286
287[[folder:Quest for Camelot]]
288* As the RunningGag for this episode, we have his constant requests for the movie to explain things...
289** "EXPLAIN, MOVIE! EXPLAIN!"
290** "Hey, remember me? I'm the audience. You wanna fill me in on what the fuck's going on?
291** "NO! NO! That does not happen movie! That just DOES! NOT! HAPPEN! Unless you, oh, I don't know, [[BigWordShout EXPLAAAIN!]]"
292** ...which comes to a climax by causing a [[AngstNuke nuclear explosion]].
293--->'''Critic:''' '''''[[PunctuatedForEmphasis JUST... EX... PLAAAIN!]]''''' ''[death, destruction and doom [[HilarityEnsues ensue]]; critic double takes at destruction]'' ... Sorry.
294*** And the second one just moments later right after Bladebeak doing an impression of Film/DirtyHarry:
295---->'''Critic:''' SORRY, I'M GOING FOR TWO!! ''[death, destruction and doom [[HilarityEnsues ensue]]]'' '''[[RageQuit THAT'S IT, I'M WRAPPING IT UP!]]'''
296* "Say, have you ever wanted to see [[Film/ThePrincessBride Cary Elwes]], Creator/GaryOldman, [[Series/FamilyMatters Urkel]], Creator/GabrielByrne, Creator/PierceBrosnan, Balki from ''Series/PerfectStrangers'', [[Series/DrQuinnMedicineWoman Jane Seymour]], that... chick from ''Series/{{Heroes}}'', Creator/DonRickles and [[Creator/MontyPython Eric Idle]] in a movie together? NO! NOBODY WANTS TO SEE THAT! But they DID IT in a fucking piece of shit called ''WesternAnimation/QuestForCamelot''!"
297* "Let's take a look at this medieval BLAST FROM THE ASS and see why it should have stayed in the {{Dark Age|Europe}}s."
298* At young Kayley:
299-->'''Kayley:''' One day I'll be a knight! Like father!\
300'''Critic:''' Well, you'd better work on growing that penis, Honey! It's the {{Dark Age|Europe}}s, it sucks for everybody.
301* The references to ''Film/MontyPythonAndTheHolyGrail'', particularly:
302-->'''Critic:''' They ride to... Camelot!\
303'''Creator/MontyPython:''' [[Film/MontyPythonAndTheHolyGrail (singing) We're knights of the round table! We dance whene'er...]]\
304'''Nostalgia Critic:''' No! Nononono! This is meant to be taken seriously! The real deal! There are no singing knights in this version!\
305''(DescriptionCut to)''\
306'''Arthur:''' ''(singing)'' Each of us we'll now divide, in equal shares our countryside...
307* The knights saying things like "honor, value, courage..." mixed in with [[WesternAnimation/CaptainPlanetAndThePlaneteers "Wind, water,]] [[WhatKindOfLamePowerIsHeartAnyway heart!"]] and [[Series/MightyMorphinPowerRangers "Dragonzord, Mastodon, Pterodactyl!"]]
308* "Now, I don't want to give anything away here, but... ''one'' of these guys [[ObviouslyEvil is going to be the villain]]. Can you guess who?" ''(arrow points at Myth/KingArthur)'' "Wow, you're a dumbass."
309* His conversation with Dr. Smith. '''All''' of it. "Does it involve spiders?"
310-->'''Dr. Smith:''' Did someone question ''my subtle acting''?\
311'''Nostalgia Critic:''' Oh, come on, Dr. Smith, you're about as subtle as a fucking trainwreck. On a boat.
312** Also, his suggestion that Smith be truly diabolical and actually try to convince people that he's a kind, caring person, to which Smith looks at his hideous spider body and replies "... Think the ship's sailed on that one."
313** And also ''this'':
314--->'''Dr. Smith:''' Wait! There's one more important thing! It's imperative that you must know!\
315'''Critic:''' What? What!?\
316'''Dr. Smith:''' Spiiiiders!\
317''[Critic shoots him]''
318* "What? You squeeze the horse's mane to get a song?" Cue repeated squeezings of the said horse's mane leading up to... [[EarWorm Duck Tales! Woo-Hoo!]]
319* At Kayley's ripped off looks: ''(without missing a beat)'' "Cut to years later as Kayley is grown up into--Hi Belle from ''WesternAnimation/BeautyAndTheBeast''! Fancy seeing your image being shamelessly ripped off here! I mean, my God, they're not even trying! It's Belle! It's fucking Belle!"
320** "Okay, okay, maybe I'm being too critical, I mean... Maybe she just looks like her. (While playing clips from both movies that look more than {{suspiciously similar|Substitute}}) It's not like both run through the fields with their arms open, feed animals at a farm nor sing a song about wanting more out of life and being stuck in an environment that doesn't welcome her free spirit... ({{Beat}}) ... Oh, wait, '''YES, THEY FUCKING DO!!'''"
321* '''RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICOLAAAAAAAAAAAA''' !
322** "I should know! I speak... horn!..."
323* About one of Kayley's scenes at the beginning of the movie:
324-->'''Kayley:''' But I want to be a knight! Go on grand adventures... Fighting evil... Rescuing damsels in distress!\
325'''Critic:''' [[GirlOnGirlIsHot Helloooo, hot character trait!]]\
326'''Kayley:''' What's a damsel, anyway?\
327'''Critic:''' Goodbyeee, hot character trait...
328* The part where the Critic is discussing how distracted the guards are that they simply let Kaylee go:
329** I HAVE HANDS!!!
330* The clips from ''Film/SinCity'' with "''The Prayer''" [[SoundtrackDissonance as background music]].
331* Critic as Kayley while she runs away from Rubert's henchmen: "[[FauxActionGirl I'm still going to be the world's greatest knight!]] [[SarcasmMode That's why I'm running away from danger that is closing in behind me]]. But... [[BlatantLies I'm doing it very bravely!]]"
332* When Garrett initially won't let Kayley come along with him to find Excalibur [[IWorkAlone because he always works alone,]] Critic makes the false assumption that the reason is because she's a woman. [[DeliberateValuesDissonance Considering the views of women in the time period, it wouldn't be shocking if that were the case.]]
333** "Yes, in medieval times, even A BLIND MAN has more credibility to go into danger than a woman does. It pays to have balls!"
334* His reaction to Garrett giving in to Kayley's request to join him [[ThatRemindsMeOfASong right after singing a musical number about working alone]].
335-->'''Critic (as Kayley):''' I really want to come with you.\
336'''Critic (as Garrett):''' No. ''(sings)'' Like every tree, stands on its own...\
337'''Kayley:''' Please?\
338'''Garrett:''' Oh, alright.\
339'''Kayley:''' ^_^
340** Also Critic pointing out how [[NonSingingVoice Garrett's singer]] sounds nothing like his voice actor.
341* The scenes with Bladebeak. "But the comedic axe chicken-- God, I can't believe I just put those words together...". Not to mention his acknowledging the fact said comedic axe chicken is voice by Jaleel White, [[MemeticMutation leading to the inevitable Sonic Sez reference]].
342-->'''Reuber:''' You! Report!\
343'''Critic (as Bladebeak):''' Well, the plot makes no sense, we have no originality and the songs are gonna be more successful than the movie.
344* His imagined "The ogre's butt" recording session, accompanied by a picture of Creator/GaryOldman looking extremely irritated.
345* Lampshading how a barely-disguised Ruber uses Julianna to [[SwissCheeseSecurity get into Camelot]].
346-->'''Guard:''' It's Lady Julianna! Lower the bridge at once!\
347'''Critic (as the guard):''' [[TheGuardsMustBeCrazy Also let in]] the [[DarkIsEvil dark shadowy figure]] with the black hood, black horse and black saddle. [[SarcasmMode I'm sure he can be totally trusted!]]
348* This at the end before the concluding sentences:
349-->'''Python!Arthur''': On second thought, let's not go to Camelot. It is a silly place.
350* His way-too-twitchy trigger finger and subsequent reactions at the end... offing Mary Poppins, Bert, and finally Mickey.
351** "Oh my God! Oh my God I just killed Mary Poppins!"
352** [[HeroicBSOD "I'm sorry!]] WesternAnimation/QuestForCamelot [[RationalizingTheOverkill made me do it!"]]
353** "I... [[TakeThat I understand.]]"
354** Along with a passing show of ''Series/TheMickeyMouseClub'' roll call.
355* The lead-up to the above moment is pretty great as well:
356-->'''Critic:''' In fact, I want an answer! I want an answer right now! And not only do I want an answer, I want an answer that's from the most innocent, perfect being that I can think of, Mary Poppins! That's right, Mary Poppins is gonna be my representation of this movie! So tell me, Mary Poppins, how do you explain this ''bullshit'' that we just witnessed?\
357'''Mary Poppins:''' First of all, I would like to make one thing quite clear...\
358'''Critic:''' Uh-huh?\
359'''Mary Poppins:''' ...I never explain anything.\
360''(beat)''\
361'''Critic:''' ...FUCK YOU, BITCH! ''(whips out pistol and shoots)''
362[[/folder]]
363
364[[folder:Old vs New: The Nutty Professor]]
365* In the end, he gets a call from [[ComicStrip/{{Peanuts}} Peppermint Patty]]'s parents.
366** "Who uses a horn to talk?!!"
367** "Let me get my clarinet so we can have a REAL conversation!"
368* Benzaie about to shave his privates (Don't worry, they don't show anything) and the Critic's horrified reaction.
369** Benzaie's facial expression makes it ten times funnier.
370* The Critic imagining what a family of Jerry Lewis' would be like.
371* He is confused by some aspects of the original, and demands that the movie explains them... but thankfully, it only culminates in a small explosion.
372[[/folder]]
373
374[[folder:Bio-Dome]]
375* NC's ClusterFBomb to open the review.
376-->'''Critic:''' [[CatchPhrase Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic, I remember it]]--I fucking hate ''Bio-Dome''! I fucking hate ''Bio-Dome''! I fucking hate ''Bio-Dome''! I fucking hate it! I HATE IT, ''I HATE IT'', '''''I HATE IT, AYAYAYAYYAYI!!!''''' ''([[GetAHoldOfYourselfMan splashed with water]])'' Thank you. Anyway, I fucking hate ''Bio-Dome''.
377* "Now, for those of you who are young and have no idea who Pauly Shore is... ''good.''"
378** The Critic calls Pauly Shore "the Devil's pubic hair himself".
379* His impression of Joey Lauren Adams' shrill voice.
380-->'''Monique (Adams' character):''' [[ItMakesSenseInContext Don't you think your couch is having withdrawals?]]\
381'''Critic:''' ''[mocks Monique's voice]'' Don't you think you should get back to your Creator/JenniferTilly impersonation?
382* The cameo from [[WebVideo/AtopTheFourthWall 90's Kid!]]
383-->'''90's Kid:''' Oh, it's probably just my landlord with another eviction notice... '''*BAM!*''' And a battering ram... '''*[[DramaticGunCock gun cocks]]*''' And a sawed-off shotgun.... Uh, gotta go! ''(runs off while shots are fire at him)''
384* The Critic playing clips from ''Film/{{Ghostbusters|1984}}'' alongside Dr. Noah Faulkner's clips, as he's played by Creator/WilliamAtherton, the same guy who portrayed Walter Peck in ''Ghostbusters''.
385-->'''Bud (Pauly Shore):''' Give me the detonator.\
386'''Faulkner (played by William Atherton):''' What is the magic word?\
387'''[[Film/Ghostbusters1984 Peter Venkman]] (Creator/BillMurray):''' Please.
388* This awkward scene:
389-->'''Monique:''' [[FetishRetardant There IS something about a man who]] [[{{Squick}} can lick his own back...]] \
390'''Critic:''' ...What am I supposed to say to that?"
391* "YAAAY, you tried to tell a joke! You get a vast, empty void of SILENCE!"
392* Also counts as a SugarWiki/MomentOfAwesome. The Nostalgia Critic pointing out how the scientists in the film look like scientists in other films. He uses Doc Brown as an example of how a movie-scientist SHOULD look and asks what Doc Brown would think. The answer:
393-->'''Creator/ChristopherLloyd:''' I was frozen today!\
394'''Critic:''' Oh, that's good to know. Thanks, Christopher Lloyd!
395** He actually did get Christopher Lloyd to say that line.
396* The Critic spazzing out when the movie glosses over ''Music/TenaciousD'' just to get immediately back to the unfunny protagonist duo:
397-->'''Critic:''' [[BigNo NOOOOOOOOO!!!]] How ''dare'' you come back to those cock-eaters?! You passed over the only talented people in the movie, you MORONS! It's like looking at the line-up of the world greatest martial artists and being like, "Creator/JackieChan? I don't think so. Creator/BruceLee? Maybe next time. ...Creator/StevenSeagal, get in there!" ''(long beat)'' '''[[WebVideo/TheAngryVideoGameNerd AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!]]'''
398* "This is the movie - ''(shows DVD of ''Bio-dome'')'' - these are my wrists after watching the movie - ''(shows wrists that are covered in bandages)'' - and these are the notes I took during watching the movie. ''(lifts up a sheet of paper simply printed with the words "Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? (etc.)")''
399* The Critic's reaction to the protagonists bisexual claim, followed by them leaning together, waggling their tongues.
400-->'''Critic:''' Never do that again, '''FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.'''
401* The running gag:
402-->'''Romulus:''' '''WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE.''' \
403'''Critic:''' I AM ACTING.
404* The reaction to the clown getting shot toward the end of the film.
405-->'''Critic:''' My God. You're actually trying to kill comedy, aren't you? You're trying to...physically destroy everything that is humorous in this world. (long beat) You're not gonna get away with it! No! How much of this movie is left? Fifteen minutes? Okay, I'm just gonna rush through it, thwarting your diabolical plan, you sick, sick, FUCK movie!
406* "Has anyone else noticed that Pauly Shore is to white people as [[Franchise/StarWars Jar Jar Binks]] [[EthnicScrappy is to black people]]? Seriously, I'm offended..."
407[[/folder]]
408
409[[folder:The Neverending Story 2]]
410* The ElephantInTheRoom BlackComedy joke about Jonathan Brandis. As in, there's an actual, animated elephant in the room Critic is doing his review in that tells him to adress a certain fact regarding Brandis that would cause a huge MoodWhiplash to the review.[[note]]That Brandis commited suicide in 2003.[[/note]]
411* "It blewed~."
412* "HI SPEEDO."
413* "He has a point there Bastian, you look like an outworld ''VideoGame/StarFox'' pilot."
414* The bully's Twitter message.
415** "OH, MY GOD, A FUCKING DRAGON ! I SWEAR TO GOD A FUCKING DRAGON!!!!!!!!!!"
416* The triumphant return of A-CHUCK-A NORRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS!!!
417* When [[BigBad Xayide]] uses her magic to make [[TheBlank her face appear]], the Critic makes a hilariously terrible pun.
418-->'''Critic:''' I guess she had to put her face on! (''chorus of boos'')
419* "Thank goodness this is the last Neverending Story movie, so I won't have to review another one". And then he turns the music up high enough to drown out the chorus of voices pointing out that there is, in fact, a Neverending Story 3.
420* "Here, they could travel at the speed of darkness, which is faster than the speed of light."
421-->'''Albert Einstein''': ''[[ArtisticLicensePhysics Bullshit!]]''
422* "HEART!!!"
423** "Aw, man! The one time I can use this fucking thing and it doesn't do shit!"
424* The RunningGag in which the Nostalgia Critic points out the blatant LogicalFallacies regarding Bastian's ability to make wishes and the apparent lack of limitations of said wishes.
425-->'''Critic:''' I wish for a gun. ''(Gun magically appears in his hand)'' I wish for that machine to disappear. ''(Machine disappears with a poof; Xayide has an OhCrap moment)'' Bye! ''(Shoots Xayide, then dances to the film's theme song)''
426* Falkor's "evil" moment.
427-->'''Critic:''' So they go back outside, where -- WHOA, what's wrong with Falkor's eyes?!\
428'''Falkor:''' ''(eyes glowing red and almost snarling)'' I am not going to carry that ''woman''.\
429'''Critic:''' Was he just possessed by the Devil, or something?\
430'''Falkor:''' [[Film/TheExorcist Stick your cock up her ass, you mother-fucking worthless COCK-SUCKER!]]
431* The part with the vanishing NES.
432-->'''[[Franchise/SuperMarioBros Mario]]:''' Enjoy your [=PlayStation 3=], cock-maggot!
433* He makes a bad joke and ducks before the audience shoots him.
434* Clips of [[Series/MightyMorphinPowerRangers Rita Repulsa]] [[MakeMyMonsterGrow making a monster grow]] when Xayide's monsters attack and subsequently grow, with the original theme music playing in the background.
435[[/folder]]
436
437[[folder:Top 11 Most Awkward Christopher Walken Moments]]
438* [[ItMakesJustasMuchSenseInContext Jelly Donut]]
439* The Headless Horseman ordering from Taco Bell's drive-through.
440** Also: The Headless Horseman "hitting on" the Miranda Richardson character, prompting a sound byte from ''WesternAnimation/BeavisAndButtHead'':
441--->'''Butt-Head''': Hey, baby. (laughs) Are we, like, gonna do it?
442* THIS IS NOT OVER...BEAHS!
443* The Critic constantly getting called by Walken, much to his confusion.
444** "Love you too ... What just happened?"
445** "I don't know where I am when he calls."
446* "I could really use some pie right now!"
447* Walken telling the Critic a limerick about two mice falling into a bucket of cream.
448[[/folder]]
449
450[[folder:Flubber]]
451* All of his reactions to the fact that [[Creator/RobinWilliams Professor Brainard]] is a total {{jerkass}}.
452* "... and we'll see what the [[GoshDarnItToHeck fl]][[{{Pun}} ub]] went wrong here."
453* "Instead of selling his invention to some business or scientific research lab, getting the money to save the college, he tests the effects of Flubber on ''basketballs''! '''Why''' aren't you committed?"
454* When the Critic points out when the main character could technically [[CutLexLuthorACheck sell the robot]] to earn the money to save the school but is more focused on his main project: "You're an idiot!"
455* "Oh great, he invented Slimer!"
456* "If your fiancee misses your wedding once, dump him. Twice, kill him. Three times, [[FreudianThreat GO LORENA BOBBITT ON HIS ASS!]]"
457** Later, after Brainard actually misses the wedding, there's a call back to that line.
458-->'''Critic:''' The castrating iron's in the corner, honey.
459* The scene with the parent telling his child that nothing can get through a closed window, and then the Flubber bursts through and bounces all around the room: "LOOK OUT! IRONY! HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE IRONY!"
460* The Critic pointing out the physics when one of the goons gets hit in the head from a Flubber-coated bowling ball that falls back to earth: "Uhh, yeah. I think his brains would have PAINTED THE HOUSE if a bowling ball fell on him from that high!"
461* "Why don't they just call this movie "Shit Bounces and Nobody Laughs"?"
462* The Flubber dance scene which is pointless enough in its own right, gets taken further when even the Big Lipped Alligator Moment can't stand it! "A BIG LIPPED-Oh God I'm bored!"
463* When Flubber shoots out of Wilson's intestines:
464-->'''Critic:''' Wow... So [[Creator/JohnHughes the guy who wrote]] ''Film/TheBreakfastClub'' and ''Film/PrettyInPink'' actually had to write the words "He farted Flubber out of his anus." This is a sad day, people!
465* "Hey look, a speck of snow!" (FacePlant)
466* His reaction to the wedding at the end.
467-->'''Critic:''' WHAT?!!! You mean he still couldn't make it to the wedding?!!! This guy is ass scum!
468* His reaction to Christopher [=MacDonald=] blatantly revealing he's the villain.
469* His multiple nods to the BigBad's resemblance to Joe Biden.
470* "[[TakeThatScrappy Shut up]] [[Creator/WilWheaton We]][[CreatorsPet sl]][[Franchise/StarTrek ey]]!"
471* "And Dale is DEAD, everybody! Dale is DEAD!"
472* [[WesternAnimation/TheLittleMermaid1989 I don't know when, I don't know how, but I know soooomething's starting right nooooooooooow!]]
473* "LOOK THEY'RE ALL WEARING GLASSES SO THEY MUST BE PART OF THE LOSERS BECAUSE THEY'RE ALL WEARING GLASSES LOSERS GLASSES LOSERS GLASSES THEY ARE ONE AND THE SAME."
474* His reaction to Weebo's hologram human form.
475** The music that plays as Weebo's [[DudeShesLikeInAComa overlooking of the Professor]], comparing it to a much less innocent scene in the ''Film/{{Ghostbusters|1984}}'' movie.
476* Playing [[Series/StarTrekTheOriginalSeries Spock]]'s last words from ''Film/StarTrekIITheWrathOfKhan'' over Weebo's.
477* "ASHTRAAAAAAAAY!"
478[[/folder]]
479
480[[folder:Home Alone 3]]
481* After seeing that the first minute or so features a group of villans talking about a high tech missile chip: "What is this, Die Hard 5? What does this have to do with Home Alone?"
482* "Sheesh, this woman's as compassionate as a punch to my ball sack!"
483* When one of the goons tries to cut through an electrocuted wire and gets violently shocked, a bolt of electricity shoots out of his ass, which is followed by a clip from ''Rocky'':
484-->'''Mickey Goldmill:''' You're gonna eat lightning, and you're gonna crap thunder!
485* "How?"
486* ''Any'' scene with the Critic as Creator/JohnHughes as he writes the script for the movie. Especially the end:
487-->'''Critic Hughes:''' There! I did it! I finally did it! I wrote the '''worst''' ''Film/HomeAlone'' script '''ever'''! I know I'm contractually obligated to make one more movie, but [[SpringtimeForHitler this script is so bad, that no studio would ever buy it]]. (''laughs'') What are they gonna do, hire the director of ''Beverly Hills Chihuahua'' to direct it? (''laughs in disbelief'') No studio's that stupid! (''laughs some more'') John Hughes, you're a genius! (''continues to laugh as he walks off screen'')\
488'''Studio Exec.:''' We'll take it! '''*cha-ching*'''\
489'''Critic Hughes:''' (''in agony'') My career is over!!
490** When the police pulls over Alex's family for questioning:
491--->'''Policeman:''' ''(in one breath)'' We think he intercepted a top secret electronic device stolen from a defense department contractor by a group of international criminals working for a North Korean terrorist organization.\
492''(Alex's sister {{Jaw Drop}}s; cut to Critic Hughes chucking down a bottle of whisky)''\
493'''Critic (as Hughes):''' ...Period.
494** The implication that the "old John Hughes" would've had the cops shoot the dog.
495* The kid's detective moment.
496-->[[Franchise/SherlockHolmes Yes, it appears we'll need more than elementary in this matter! Doris, fetch me my violin!]]
497* "Have fun while I'm gone, son! Be sure to stay away from the rat poison I keep under your pillow!"
498* The ''WesternAnimation/LooneyTunes'' theme used as the BGM for a slapstick scene, followed by a [[WesternAnimation/WileECoyoteAndTheRoadrunner Road Runner]] cameo as a passerby.
499* Alex looks through his telescope and sees...Creator/RaymondBurr from ''Film/RearWindow''.
500[[/folder]]
501
502[[folder:Old vs. New: King Kong]]
503* When talking about the SuicidalOverconfidence of Creator/NaomiWatts' portrayal...
504-->'''Critic:''' ''She's standing up to a 10-story gorilla!'' That takes balls! [[VerbalBackspace Or, ovaries...]] I don't know, but it takes a lot of them!
505* "Note to Self: [[Film/KingKong2005 Chocolate means war]]."
506* When getting to the special effects, he's met with an offscreen chorus of "[[ForegoneConclusion New version]]", even when defending how the effects of the original were groundbreaking for its day.
507* SKUUUUUULL!
508** [[ToServeMan It's a cookbook! IT'S A COOKBOOK!]]
509[[/folder]]
510
511[[folder:Drop Dead Fred]]
512* Critic says we're off to a good start as the film opens with a little girl saying "What a pile of shit!"
513* The Annoy-o-meter: Creator/MichaelMoore - [[Film/IndianaJonesAndTheTempleOfDoom Short Round]] - The dog from VideoGame/DuckHunt - Edward from ''Literature/TheTwilightSaga'' - "The racist robots" (Skids and Mudflap) from ''[[Film/TransformersRevengeOfTheFallen Transformers 2]]'' - [[Film/RushHour Chris Tucker]] - [[Franchise/StarWars Jar Jar Binks]]. Drop Dead Fred slides in between the last two.
514** "That's ''quite'' an accomplishment, movie. That's ''quite'' an accomplishment. ({{Beat}}) ''Shoot'' yourself."
515* "Gah! Too much ''pink''!" Accompanied by a [[Franchise/StarWars lightsaber igniting]] as the bedroom lights turn on.
516* After Fred points out how obviously evil Elizabeth's husband is, Critic answers a phone:
517-->'''Critic:''' Oh, hey, it’s reality! \
518'''Reality:''' HELL-LOOO!
519* "Look at him, he looks like a [[Film/ConeHeads Conehead]] on fire."
520* "Welcome to ''Officially Snapped''." Also, "[[Creator/TimBurton Tim Burtonland]]".
521* "That's nothing! [[Film/ANightmareOnElmStreet1984 You should see the deleted scene.]]"
522* The use of [[Film/TheOmen1976 "Ave Satani."]]
523* "NOOOOOOOO no! No! No! No! No! ''(beat)'' NO!! NO, no no nonono! No! No. No. No. No. ''(inuadible repetition on "no" with occasional "No" mumbled) (a couple of coughed out "No's") ("No" repeated a couple of times while attempting laughter, culminating in fast furious repetition of "No")'' NO! No-ho-ho-ho!!! ''(while waving his finger)'' NONONONONONONO-NO!!! ''(while doing a throwing motion)'' No! No! No! No!... I'm projecting my NO!!! unto this NO!
524** Really? I thought it was-- ''(is shot)''
525* "Riddle me this, Batman! What do you get when you take two talented actors and saddle them with a script written by a horse's scrotum? This movie!"
526* On a freezeframe of [[Creator/PhoebeCates the main female]] with [[TheUnsmile a goofy look]] on her face: "That's the 'Horse that just passed gas' look!"
527* "Rik Mayall: Like having a stand-up comedian at the Holocaust."
528* Critic and a few guests have a pretentious FauxSymbolism discussion, before concluding it's "just a pile of shit."
529* ChewingTheScenery... literally. Espically with the line: "Hey, there's even more background I can chew!"
530* "Yeah, I remember the last time I laughed at my mother's cooch."
531[[/folder]]
532
533[[folder:The Care Bears Movie]]
534* "Whenever someone asks "What did you do at your work today?" and I have to tell them "I watched ''[[WesternAnimation/TheCareBearsMovie Care Bears: The Movie]]''", I die a little inside."
535* When the Critic points out how creepy Mr. Cherrywood looks and sounds.
536-->"I've touched half these children. And I'm okay with that."
537* "Care-A-Lot... [[MoneyDearBoy is paying for my new car]]... so might as well do it."
538* When the Care Bears combine their colorful Stares:
539-->'''Critic:''' [[TasteTheRainbow TASTE THE RAINBOW]] [[PrecisionFStrike MOTHERFUCKA!!!]]
540* "I've never seen a book so in touch with evil since ''[[Literature/TheTwilightSaga Twilight]]''!"
541** He also suspects the book's voice-actress [[TheImmodestOrgasm of being eaten out]] as she's trying to read her lines.
542* The RunningGag showing just how useless the Care Bear Cousins are... '''especially''' Braveheart Lion. '''FAIL!'''
543** [[Film/{{Braveheart}} "They may take our lives, but they'll never take]] ''[[MerchandiseDriven OUR MARKETABILITY!!]]''
544* [[DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything "It's probably my perverted mind, but what does it look like these two are doing?"]]
545** Made even funnier when you realize the bear in the car is Secret Bear.
546* The Nostalgia Critic pointing out various faces Nicholas makes over the course of the film, ''especially'' the "He's turning into [[Film/WhoFramedRogerRabbit Judge Doom!"]] and this bit.
547-->'''Critic:''' I just love Nicholas's face here. As if to say: "Wow, I really didn't think I was gonna see this today. A talking bear speaking with an evil face in a book. Thank God it's at least Friday."
548** Critic's reaction to said Judge Doom face with audio. "[[BowelBreakingBricks That was a brick, literally a brick]]."
549* The Nostalgia Critic being attacked by The Spirit at one point. Why? '''Because he tried to fast-forward through her parts.'''
550* When Nicholas turns all the kids into {{Jerkass}}es: "Oh no, he turned them into [[TakeThat YouTube commenters]]!"
551* "They also come across a [[VisualPun Pink Elephant]]. And... [[INeedAFreakingDrink guessing the amount of booze you've probably had throughout this picture]], [[PinkElephants I'm guessing you're coming across a few as well]]."
552* "Good story, but you missed the part about the sodomy and the ties to the JFK assasination! But I guess that stuff wasn't very important."
553* The line on the Cozyheart Penguin toy ad: "Don't stop bothering your parents until you have one. Steal [from] them, if you must, '''Santa says it's okay'''."
554* (When the "Caring Meter" drops) "We're reaching Jersey levels! ''Jersey levels!''"
555* The [[WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons Nelson laugh]] after the key disappears.
556* "I have officially become a vampire! Uh, not one of those [[Literature/TheTwilightSaga sparkling ones]], though, [[YourVampiresSuck they totally suck ass]]."
557* Critic doing a little kid voice saying that the part with the boat and the river no one tried before is a big plot hole and Critic, as Mr. Cherrywood, threatens to [[WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy smack the kid with his ring hand]] if he doesn't shut up.
558* His wondering what 'Care' means here:
559-->'''Critic (as friend):''' Hey, what kind of [pizza] toppings you want?\
560'''Critic:''' Oh, I don't care. ''(then realizes)'' No, no, wait! I didn't mean tha-- Ugh... ''(facepalms)''\
561'''The Care Bears:''' ''(from offscreen)'' Hi, we're the Care Bears, and everybody has to care about somethi--\
562Critic: ''(shoots at the voices in exasperation while still facepalming, and without even looking at them)''
563[[/folder]]
564
565[[folder:Jaws 3D]]
566* "A lot of you may be wondering [[WebVideo/{{Kickassia}} where I've been the past week. Well, there was an... incident in Nevada... many people injured... I-I-I can never go back]]."
567* "[[SpecialEffectsFailure Annoyed yet?!]]"
568* "[[DistractedByTheSexy You lured me with the promise of penis]]!"
569* The bar scene: Creator/LeaThompson is having a discussion while the couple she and her guy are with start making out right in front of them. Cue the Nostalgia Critic making ever-increasing sounds of sex, complete with table crashing sounds.
570* ""Chase the cowgirl through the knee-high tents on the beach" Um... kinky?"
571* His extension of the Chuck Norris meme.
572** "A-CHUCK A-NORRRRIIIIISSSSSS! RIDINGASHARKTHATSASBIGASJAWS!"
573* ''(bump)'' "OW! SON OF A BITCH! SHARK CROSSING, YOU A-HOLES!"
574* [[Music/TheBeatles "We all live in a Yellow Submarine. Yellow Submarine]]
575* "There's a shark, bitch! Run!" Made even funnier when you realize the lines were lip synced to the dolphin.
576* WHACK-A-SHARK!!!
577* Critic suggesting that some jackass pushed that girl's face against the glass upon seeing the cadaver floating against the wall on the other side '''absolutely intentionally''' just so he could take a picture or something. Hilarious.
578* The RunningGag where WebVideo/TheCinemaSnob keeps talking about ''Manimal'', with the NC repeatedly checking to see if he's still talking and then pushing him off-screen again.
579* "My god! She's very, very, very, very, very, very, very slowly coming towards us! We only have ''hours'' to escape! Hours!"
580* The Critic pointing out how incoherent people sound when they yell in the film...complete with clips of [[WesternAnimation/LooneyTunes The Tasmanian Devil]].
581* "That's not a ride, that's a {{Hentai}}!"
582* CAAAAAA-I mean FIIIIIISH!
583* "All I can say is, I'm worried. We're in a lousy horror movie and [[BlackDudeDiesFirst I'm the only black person around]]. [[GenreSavvy Clearly I need to hire more black people]]." He does, and it works.
584* "[[Franchise/HarryPotter EXPECTO PATRONUM]]!"
585* "Oh come on, now you're just teasing me! Come on down here and fight like a shark!"
586* “Wait! You can’t eat me! I’m British food! I taste terrible!”
587[[/folder]]
588
589[[folder:Free Willy]]
590* At the beginning:
591-->'''Critic:''' This is the story about [[ABoyAndHisX a boy and his Willy]]. [[ThatCameOutWrong Let me try that again]]. [[AccidentalInnuendo This is the story about a boy and his relationship with his little whale]]. No. This the story about a boy who likes to hold onto his big fish--okay, this ''isn't'' what you think. [[MemeticMolester It has]] Music/MichaelJackson in it! Okay, just roll it...
592* The ending: "But like I said, it's not a terrible movie. I mean, it's not as bad as something like, ''A Troll in Central''- Nope! ... Nope, nope! [[GenreSavvy I know how this works]]. If I say the entire title, that means I have to review it next week. Yeah, I know this joke. I'm not doing it, mm-mmm. There is no way you're getting me to say ''WesternAnimation/ATrollInCentralPark''...!" ''(Next Week, A Troll In Central Park)'' "'''[[CurseCutShort FUUUUUUU]]'''-" ''([[RunningGag cuts to sinister villain evilly eating popcorn]])''
593** Sinister villian evily eating popcorn is a CMOF in its own right, especially when you put it to SugarWiki/{{Heartwarming|Moments}} scenes.
594* Also, the various {{Call Back}}s to previous movies he's reviewed: Seeing The actress who played Film/TankGirl and the villain from ''[[Film/TheKarateKid The Next Karate Kid]]'' again, the [[Film/EndOfDays "CAAAAAT!"]] joke, a quick nod to his previous review of ''Film/Jaws3D'', the list goes on
595* His reactions to Willy's crying, comparing it to [[Film/TheThreeStooges Curly]] having a hernia, Snarf from ''WesternAnimation/{{ThunderCats|1985}}'' getting neutered, [[Franchise/StarWars Jar-Jar Binks]] in a blender and William Hung sucking on helium.
596* His assertion that Creator/MichaelIronside, as the villain, may be a robot with quotes like "Disengage impressed mode, engage smug indifference" and "Let me check my douchebag files for that".
597* The beginning of the review. "But then we come across our enemies... ''({{Beat}})'' '''[[HumansAreBastards MAN!]]''' ''(cue the ScareChord)'' Along with an image of a crying kitten, no less.
598* "Spider!" ''(Chucks baseball through a window)''
599[[/folder]]
600
601[[folder:A Troll in Central Park]]
602* Critic thinks a 5-year-old wrote the "I'm a bad troll" scene.
603* "'''TELL A STORY!'''"
604* After the mom (voiced by Creator/HayleyMills) tells Gus to appreciate what he has:
605-->'''Critic (as the mom):''' Yes, we ALL have to appreciate what we have. For example, ''I'' could've been the star of ''Series/SavedByTheBell''. ''(getting more frantic)'' I ''was'' the star of ''Saved by the Bell'', but for some reason I'm NOT the star of ''Saved By The Bell''. ''"Good Morning, Miss Bliss" my fucking'' '''''ASS'''''''!'' ... (mouths "sorry").
606** And while on the subject of the parents, the Critic points out that Mills and Creator/JonathanPryce, who voices the father, [[OohMeAccentsSlipping do a]] ''[[OohMeAccentsSlipping terrible]]'' [[OohMeAccentsSlipping job of hiding their British accents]].
607--->'''Critic:''' ''(scoffs)'' Sounds about as convincing as ''Series/{{House}}''. ''(audience boos him)'' Oh, come on, it's obvious! It's so incredibly obvious!
608* "Franchise/MyLittlePony, the Franchise/CareBears, Series/{{Teletubbies}}, Toys/CabbagePatchKids, WesternAnimation/TheSmurfs, Franchise/{{Barbie}}, WesternAnimation/{{Pound Puppies|1980s}}, WesternAnimation/RainbowBrite, WesternAnimation/StrawberryShortcake, [[Series/BarneyAndFriends Barney the Dinosaur]], all the ''Film/{{High School Musical}}s'', WesternAnimation/{{Jem}}, and the goddamn [[WesternAnimation/TheGetAlongGang Get Along Gang]] are fucking [[TestosteronePoisoning BUTCH]] compared to this!"
609* The phone calls with Stanley the Troll.
610** "But annoyance is part of my charm! Like that cute little puppy that barks a lot, or a unicorn's horn [[BreadEggsMilkSquick shoved up your ass]], Or pancreatic cancer!"
611** "I love you!"
612** The Critic managing to dream up [[SerialEscalation a porcupine growing out of his anus, said porcupine becoming a T-Rex, and said T-Rex eating Stanley, and from INSIDE HIM no less... ALL OVER THE PHONE.]]
613--->'''Stanley:''' Now he's going after my nads! MY ENCHANTED NADS! OH! PLEASE! PLEASE! GOD! I still love you.
614*** What sells it is the look on the Critic's face when he comes up with Stanley's punishment.
615** The line about Stanley "ensuring all the good things that come flowers, sunshine, and animals that smile with their mouths open."
616* The Critic subverting his argument about the movie being intended for a wall: "[[Film/{{Poltergeist|1982}} Here's the last wall they showed it to.]] ''(the house implodes)'' Should've rented ''[[WesternAnimation/TheIronGiant Iron Giant]]''."
617* [[SarcasmMode "(GASP!) Did [Gus] actually suggest that somebody have BALLS in this movie?!?!"]]
618* Gus: (to Stanley) "You'll never have a dream come true! And you know why?"
619** Critic: "(flashes a list on screen) Take your pick." The "He's a coward" one is chosen.
620** Here is the full list: He's annoying. He's obnoxious. He won't shut up. He's a pansie [sic]. He sings to flowers. He's as bland as Edward from ''[[Literature/TheTwilightSaga Twilight]]''. He's vomitingly cute. His logic makes no sense. He needs to die. He's looks like a rejected muppet. He's a coward. He has three teeth. He lives a delusional nutball. He lives in Central Park yet is still alive. He's ruining this whole friggin' movie, as well as cinema in general. The [[Literature/CharlieAndTheChocolateFactory oompa loompas]] could beat him up. He makes [[Film/AustinPowers Mini-Me]] look tall. He gets excited when toddlers kiss him. He's the only troll more annoying than the ones from Encyclopedia Dramatica. A termite has bigger balls than him. Did I mention he's annoying?
621* His response to Stanley being turned to stone: "HOORAY!" Not to mention his reactions to New York City being plant-ified, mainly suggesting that [[AlternativeCharacterInterpretation this was just Stanley's evil plant-based plan]].
622* The directional arrows (a la ''VideoGame/DragonsLair'') at the scene where Stanley the troll runs around in New York traffic. Eventually the arrows give up and are replaced by "'''FUCK IT!'''"
623* "''ZUUL, MOTHERFU''-'''HEY!'''"
624* His sketch after a troll starts singing: "I'm a baad troooll...". "OK, this is what happens if you let your five year-old write the screenplay!"
625-->'''Five Year-Old:''' And then the troll says "I'm a baad troooll".\
626'''Critic:''' Oh, that's good, son! ''(starts typing)'' "And then troll said: I'm a baad troooll"...\
627'''Five Year-Old:''' I have to go potty.\
628'''Nostalgia Critic:''' Oh, EVEN BETTER! ''(starts typing)'' "And then he says: I have to go potty"...\
629'''Five Year-Old:''' No, really, I-I have to go potty.\
630'''Critic:''' ''(disappointed)'' Oh, yeah, yeah, go ahead, go... go potty.\
631''({{beat}})''\
632'''Critic:''' ''(starts typing)'' Still good line, though...
633* [[Film/ThePhantomMenace "Duel of the Fates"]] playing during the climactic thumb-war sequence. Similarly, the ''Franchise/BackToTheFuture'' theme playing when the flying boat appears in the climax.
634* The very intro of this review in which Critic is so angry this movie that, as he proves later, even saying its title pisses him off.
635-->'''Critic:''' Watch. Ahem. ''A Troll in Central'' ''[[FreudianSlip Farck]]''... FUCK THIS MOVIEEE! ''(punches himself in the face) A Troll in Central Park''!
636* "Boy, Creator/LindsayLohan [[TakeThat really let herself go.]]"
637* "(regarding Stanley) The only way to describe him is imagine [[Literature/TheLordOfTheRings Bilbo Baggins]] just ate the Lucky Charms leprechaun and got shit out through [[WesternAnimation/SnowWhiteAndTheSevenDwarfs Dopey's]] anus. And that's the ''nice'' version!"
638[[/folder]]
639
640[[folder:Theodore Rex]]
641* Chipmunk Jawas...?
642* The Critic's response to Whoopi Goldberg's KidSidekick, Sebastian. Yeah, he cues ''[[WesternAnimation/TheLittleMermaid1989 that music.]]''
643* The partner-up scene, or, more specifically, the Critic's response:
644-->'''Katie Coltrane:''' He's a dinosaur!\
645'''Critic:''' [[SarcasmFailure He is-I ch-buh... whuh?]]
646* Critic's quest to justify the premise of the movie:
647-->'''Critic:''' It's like what Creator/JackNicholson would see in ''Film/OneFlewOverTheCuckoosNest'' after he got lobotomized.\
648'''Creator/JackNicholson:''' I see Whoopi Goldberg and a T-Rex solving crime.\
649'''"Chief" Bromden:''' ''(presses pillow on Jack's face)'' Yes, you need to die now.
650* His various movie pitches at the beginning including Betty White + Franchise/TeenageMutantNinjaTurtles, Creator/WilliamShatner + Franchise/{{Pokemon}}, and Damon Wayans + the Gecko from the Geico commercials.
651* The ''Literature/FearAndLoathingInLasVegas'' scene.
652* "Oh wait, I've seen this. Don't the Franchise/PowerRangers come out and usually beat the crap out of these guys?"
653* Teddy's dialogue being replaced by mechanical noises in one part of the review.
654* "Run! We'll regroup with the [[Film/TheWizardOfOz Lollipop Guild]]!"
655* "And his quest to find that mysterious shoulder tapper begins."
656* "If I wanted to watch Creator/WhoopiGoldberg interact with dinosaurs, I'd watch ''Series/TheView''."
657* "... What the hell? Why are they playing shuffleboard with Hershey's Kisses?"
658* Somewhere in the 14 minute mark has pretty much the funniest part of the review:
659-->'''Critic:''' ''(spotting the caterpillar)'' Oh? And what's this?\
660'''Teddy:''' It's a hairy hot dog.\
661'''Critic:''' ''(shrugs)'' Of course it is! ''(laughs)'' If you want a hairy hot dog to talk to a finger puppet, turn into a butterfly, and float by a bunch of helium containers, I'm okay with that now! There's really no point in questioning it. It's like trying to save a sinking ship with a band-aid; anything I try to do would be completely pointless. ''({{Beat}}, in a high-pitched voice)'' ... Save me!
662* He's reaction to the fact the Creator/RichardRoundtree, a.k.a. Film/{{Shaft}} is playing the commissioner.
663-->'''Commissioner:''' ''(appearing for the first time and seeing Teddy on a fundraiser)'' Teddy?\
664'''Critic:''' SHAFT?!\
665'''Commissioner:''' Not many people get to meet their maker on a fundraiser, huh?\
666'''Critic:''' Oh, G... NOOO!!!\
667'''Another character:''' Excuse me, sir, is there, uh, something wrong?\
668'''Commissioner:''' Yes, yes, there's been a dinocide.\
669'''Critic:''' [[QuestionableCasting Oh, and the fact that you're JOHN SHAFT AND YOU'RE TALKING TO A FUCKING DINOSAUR]]!!!
670* "Meanwhile at the... sprinkled testicle building..."
671* "So, Teddy meets up with Molly again as they head back to his place for some [[{{Pun}} Tyrannosaurus sex]]."
672-->'''Molly Rex:''' I'm a fool for milk and cookies.\
673'''Theodore:''' Oh! C-Cookies! Cookies, cookies, cookies, cookies, cookies!\
674'''Critic:''' Yep, the running joke of cookies has literally just been resorted to the shouting of the word now, [[SarcasmMode which is a shame. I saw real potential for that joke.]]
675* "Out of the way, guy who was only here for a throwaway gag!"
676* "HA HA HA HA! BLENDER! IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE IT BEGINS WITH A 'B'! HA HA HA HA HA!"
677** "I just thought back to my 'blender' joke! Ha ha! 'B'! Ha ha!"
678* When the commissioner claims that Whoopi Goldberg's character embarrassed the department, the Critic says this:
679--> "SHE embarrassed the... SHE embarr.. DO YOU EVEN SEE [[Series/{{Dinosaurs}} EARL SINCLAIR]] OVER THERE?!"
680* "Is the cameraman drunk?! Is that why the angles keep tilting? I tell you what, if it is, I don't blame him! It'd be the only way I could get through filming this movie too!"
681* When a ninja grid is mentioned, the Nostalgia Critic complains that they could've been watching that this whole time instead of Whoopi Goldberg and Theodore Rex, then asks what else they've been missing out on.
682--> "Is there a 'rock bands on skateboard' grid as well? Come on, guys, focus on the good stuff!"
683[[/folder]]
684
685[[folder:Top 11 Coolest Cinematic Cliches]]
686* The Klingon version of "Ode To Joy."
687** "... never play that again."
688* NO!!!!!!!!!!
689* Wyatt Earp [[UnstoppableRage LOSING H]][[BerserkButton IS SHIT]] at the Nostalgia Critic at the end (because the Critic assumed the audience was sick of the cliches by then).
690** "I'm the Nostalgia Critic, I remember so you- (nearly gets shot) fuckin' ''crazy'', Wyatt Earp!"
691* (Regarding [[Franchise/StarWars Darth Vader's]] disappointing no): "Hell, Mr. Bill sounded more butch than you!"
692* Oh hey, I found my lost state id. ''({{beat}}, EvilLaugh)''
693* On [[{{Overcrank}} Slow Motion]]: "No matter how many times we use it, it shows no sign of [[AccidentalPun slowing down]]." Followed by a {{Beat}} of the Critic looking around awkwardly and a RimShot from WesternAnimation/{{Animaniacs}}.
694[[/folder]]
695
696[[folder:Hook]]
697* The Critic shows us just how an encounter between the [[WesternAnimation/PeterPan pirates of Neverland]] and the Franchise/PiratesOfTheCaribbean would end up (with Barbossa shooting Peter Pan's daughter).
698* ZUUL, LITTLE MOTHERFUCKERS, ZUUL!!
699* The "Nutball!" sequence... with added Vengabus.
700* Peter yelling "I don't believe in fairies!" resulting in the death of [[WesternAnimation/FernGullyTheLastRainforest Crysta]].
701* The Critic encouraging writers of Franchise/StarWars FanFiction to rush to their typewriters after pointing out that the kissing couple that Peter and Tink pass by on their way to Neverland is played by George Lucas and Carrie Fisher.
702* "Oim heah to blur the loins of reali-tee!"
703* The sketch about the Critic acting out the role of a killjoy father.
704-->'''Kid:''' Dad, is there a SantaClaus?\
705'''Critic:''' No!\
706'''Kid:''' Is there an Easter Bunny?\
707'''Critic:''' No, I made that up too!\
708'''Kid:''' Dad, is there a {{God}}?\
709'''Critic:''' Well, scientifically speaking, they've never really proven that God actually exists, so probably not. In fact, the majority of religions if not all religions are completely false. ''(the kid starts crying)'' Oh, what?
710* The out-of-nowhere cameo by Film Brain:
711-->'''Film Brain:''' '''''SYMBOLISM!!!'''''\
712'''Critic:''' What was that?
713* When Peter tries to rescue his kids from Hook:
714-->'''Peter:''' Come on, give me a hand.\
715'''Hook:''' I already have.\
716'''Hook's Pirates:''' Ooooh...\
717'''Critic (as Hook):''' Oh, yes. I went there.
718* In response to Peter's memories regressing, to the point he forgot everything after he left Neverland:
719-->'''Peter:''' I like this game. Ask me another one!\
720'''Critic:''' Okay! Can you make a sentence out of these words? "UP THE FUCK SHUT."
721* "''My'' Jack..."
722* "So after ''not killing him for a third time'', our family finally decides to go home, happily ever af--[[ISurrenderSuckers Psych!]] [[ComicBook/CaptainAmerica Heil Hitler.]]
723* The Critic's reaction to Hook's death-by-falling-taxidermied-crocodile:
724-->''(sniffle, wipes away a tear)'' My mother went the same way...
725* The Critic's interpretation of a line from Captain Hook:
726-->'''Hook:''' And you'd better deliver, Ms. Bell, or no amount of clapping will bring you back from where ''I'' will send you...\
727'''Critic:''' There's a buttcrack with your name on it.
728* "It's Dustin Hoffman, Peter! He's trying to out-mug you!"
729* "I believe in you, Peter. And I'm Jesus!"
730* His pained, slightly crazed impersonation of Tinkerbell in her dress:
731-->'''Critic:''' I've been waiting here nine hours in this dress just praying that you'll stumble onto this. Thank you for stumbling onto this!
732* "That coconut had just [[{{Retirony}} two days left until retirement]]! You bastard!"
733* This:
734-->'''Peter:''' Tink! Come on, you gotta come!\
735'''Critic:''' Well she was ''about'' to-- ''(realizes)'' Oh, oh, that, yeah.
736[[/folder]]
737
738[[folder:Independence Day]]
739* The Critic's... interesting analogy on why he doesn't like the movie:
740-->'''Critic:''' But so many people tell me ''(mockingly)'' "Oh, it's a popcorn movie! Can't you just have fun?!". Well, let me tell you something: a waterslide is fun. All the slipping and sliding, it's just great! But if someone took you ''off'' the waterslide, ''shook'' you, gave you a noogie, and then spat in your face and put you ''back'' on the waterslide, you'd be like "... That wasn't fun. That was weird and annoying!". And THAT'S this movie!
741* '''[[WhatHappenedToTheMouse BOOMER]] [[RunningGag WILL LIVE]].'''
742-->'''Critic:''' ''(screams in joy, arms up in the air while heavenly music plays)''
743** Made even better by the fact that the line is said in the Critic's Optimus Prime voice.
744* "Stand back! He's gonna go for it! He's gonna go for it! He's gonna go for it! He's gonna go for it! AAAAAAAAH, HE [[JumpingTheShark JUMPED THE SHAAAAAAAAAAAAARK!]]"
745** ''(Sound of explosion)'' "WOW! It [[JumpingTheShark jumped the shark]] so high it's '''''[[ExaggeratedTrope nearly in orbit!]]'''''"
746* '''"EAT LASER TIC TACS!!!"'''
747* The Critic [[HoYay fantasizing]] about Creator/WillSmith.
748-->'''Critic:''' ''([[GetAholdOfYourselfMan slapping himself]])'' BOOBS! [[StupidSexyFlanders You like BOOBS!]]
749* "Stephanie? Stephanie is that you?" This OverlyLongGag explores the large amount of FridgeLogic regarding why the space ship from the 1950's (since there would have been nearly [[TechnologyMarchesOn forty years of technological advancement on the aliens end]]) could sneak aboard the mothership, the Critic concludes that the only logical conclusion is that one of the Head Aliens thinks that the ship belongs to his old flame, and constantly FailedASpotCheck to realize it was being piloted by two of those PunyHumans. The capper, however, is the Alien's reaction to being fired upon ([[OhCrap "PLUTO'S BALLS!!!"]]), and then his last words:
750-->'''Alien:''' ''Heeey,'' [[LateToThePunchline you know what? I'm starting to think that wasn't]] [[KilledMidSentence Stepha-]] ''([[StuffBlowingUp Boom!]])''
751* Guess who's in the alien ship, blowing us up? It's Series/{{Alf}}, [[Franchise/StarWars Darth Vader]], [[Franchise/{{Alien}} a xenomorph]], and [[WesternAnimation/LooneyTunes Marvin the Martian]] ''playing poker!''
752-->'''ALF''': ''(silence)'' Hey, uh, press that button, would ya?\
753'''''Alien'' Xenomorph''': Huh? Oh, right. ''(beep)''
754* "Ahh, yes, I'd like to, return this taco, ahh, to you because there was, ahh, ahh, ahh, no sauce on it and, as we all know when there is, no sauce ahh, on the taco and you realize it is, not spicy and ahh, blah, blah, blah, if it is not spicy, ahh, well then you all know that it means, ahh, ahh, ahh, ahh, ahh, ahh, ''(dramatic stare)'' ''CHECKMATE''." ''(dramatic sting)''
755* [[MemeticMutation "Do a]] [[VideoGame/StarFox barrel roll!"]]
756* ''(celestial chorus plays in background)'' "My god, Creator/JeffGoldblum, is there anything you can't do?"
757-->'''Jeff Goldblum:''' ''(looking like Jesus)'' No.
758* "An alien race that wipes out Earth but is killed by our viruses? ''(scoff)'' [[SarcasmMode Whoever heard of such a thing?]] ''(image of the 1953 version of ''Film/{{The War Of The Worlds|1953}}'')'' "''(sneeze)'' Jerk-off! ''(sneeze)''"
759* During the dogfight chase in the canyon, Smith's plane and the alien fighter fly under a collapsing rock formation. The rock formation [[ShadowOfImpendingDoom falls on top of]] Wile E.Coyote.
760* When Will Smith blinds the alien ship with his parachute:
761-->'''Critic (As Alien Pilot):''' "'''[[OhCrap AHHH!!!]] [[VillainousBreakdown A SHEET! A SHEET! ALL MY ADVANCED SCIENTIFIC TECHNOLOGY, AND I'M DEFEATED]] ''[[RockBeatsLaser BY A SHEEEEET!!!]]'' '''"
762* [[MemeticMutation "ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US!"]] ''([[TalkToTheFist punch]])'' "[[NonSequiturThud Ow...]]"
763* Will Smith: "[[BondOneLiner Now that's what I call a Close Encounter.]]" ''(''Series/TheFreshPrinceOfBelAir'' [[QuipToBlack credits play]])''
764* ''(President fires a missile to see if the shield is down yet. Missile explodes on shield. [[WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons Kang and Kodos]] laugh evilly. Second missile is fired and hits the ship. Kang gets scared)''
765* "Cast, step forward and state your stereotypes!"
766-->'''Judd Hirsch:''' I'm Judd Hirsch, I'm the [[AlterKocker Jewish stereotype]]!\
767'''Robert Loggia:''' I'm Robert Luh-GUY-a, I'm the [[GeneralRipper gruff military stereotype]]!\
768'''Randy Quaid:''' I'm Randy Quaid, and I'm the [[DeepSouth redneck stereotype]]!\
769'''[[Series/StarTrekTheNextGeneration Brent Spiner]]:''' I'm Brent Spiner, and I'm the [[MadScientist geeky stereotype]]!\
770'''Harvey Fierstein:''' I'm that guy from ''Film/MrsDoubtfire'', and I'm the [[CampGay gay stereotype]]!\
771'''Harry Connick, Jr.:''' I'm Harry Connick Jr., and I'm the [[HeterosexualLifePartners annoying best friend stereotype]]!\
772'''Creator/JeffGoldblum:''' I am Jeff Goldblum, and I am in and of myself, uh, a [[GibberingGenius stereotype]].
773* When the Critic hears the newscaster saying "GodHelpUsAll", we get this:
774-->'''Critic:''' A hurricane was spotted on the Eastern Coast -- ''(FreakOut [[{{Undercrank}} in fast motion]])'' -- '''PANIC! PANIC! PANIC! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE!''' ''(HeadDesk)''
775* [[JewsLoveToArgue "I can out-Jew you!" "I can out-Jew you!" (back and forth)]]
776* The critic muses as to what the President's dramatic speech would have been like if the aliens had attacked on a different holiday... like Talk Like a Pirate Day.
777* "Whose side you gonna be on, the humans or the aliens?" ''([[LesCollaborateurs takes his cap off and puts silver antennae on his head]])'' "[[Series/MorkAndMindy Nanu-nanu]]!"
778* Pointing out that the President of the United States is played by Bill Pullman.
779-->'''[[Film/{{Spaceballs}} Dark Helmet]]:''' LONE STAR!
780* "Oh, and ''here's'' [[SarcasmMode a big shocker]]: (goes into a hyper, OverlyLongGag over how big a "[[ItWasHisSled secret]]" it is, [[DissonantSerenity before cheerfully saying]]) ''[[DroppedABridgeOnHim the best friend dies!!!]]"
781-->'''Creator/WillSmith:''' '''[[SayMyName JIMMY,]] ''[[BigNo NOOOO!!!]]'' '''\
782'''[[WesternAnimation/SouthPark Stan]]:''' [[BigOMG Oh my God!]] [[TheyKilledKennyAgain They Killed Jimmy!]]\
783'''[[WesternAnimation/SouthPark Kyle]]:''' [[YouBastard You bastards!]]
784** The build-up to it, which takes pains to show just how blatantly Jimmy is set up as a RedShirt. "[[GenreSavvy Wow, you are SO dead!]]" indeed.
785--->'''Critic (as Jimmy):''' Hey, you want to know what else I love? Living. I ''love'' living! [[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment I hope to do a lot of living while I'm still alive! I'm just so lively!]] [[TemptingFate Wouldn't it be a great]] [[DramaticIrony tragic irony]] [[TemptingFate if I was to: NOT be living?]] [[GenreBlind Wouldn't that just be the most dramatic contrast that only a B-Movie that somehow got a bajillion dollar budget would put together?]] [[TooDumbToLive God, I love being alive!]] ''[[LargeHam Alive!]]''
786* When they talk about the president on the news:
787-->'''Lady on TV:''' They elected a warrior and they got a wimp.\
788'''Critic:''' Ah, [[TakeThat it's the Obama administration]].
789** Even more so because, unlike the traditional RunningGag of being booed by the StudioAudience for making controversial statements, he gets [[ActuallyPrettyFunny thunderous applause and laughter]].
790* "Oh no, ''(Sob)'' this is giving me an emotion. Must. Not. Act. ''(Sob)'' Must. Not. Act."
791* "[[NowYouTellMe Mother's dead?]]"
792* "Luckily, [[ArtisticLicensePhysics the explosion is too polite to enter through the open door]]."
793[[/folder]]
794
795[[folder:The Room]]
796* "You didn't know it was ''him''? You didn't recognize the ''five foot girly-haired French zombie until he took off his '''sunglasses'''?!''"
797** The DrivenToSuicide scene, starting with the PleaseWakeUp from Mark to the ''Creator/MontyPython'' ShoutOut to quoting Theatre/{{Hamlet}} and Theatre/RomeoAndJuliet. Actually, let's just say ''the entire freakin' review'' and leave it at that.
798* "Is he dead"?
799-->'''Critic:''' ''[after he immediately calms down following a good 10 seconds of {{Angrish}}]'' [[CaptainObvious Why, yes. Yes he is, young lady.]] [[Series/MontyPythonsFlyingCircus He has passed on. This person is no more. He has ceased to be.]] [[ShoutOut He's expired and gone to meet his maker. He's a]] ''[[ShoutOut stiff!]]'' [[MemeticMutation Bereft of]] ''[[MemeticMutation life!]]'' [[MemeticMutation He rests in]] ''[[MemeticMutation peace!]]'' [[OverlyLongGag If he didn't shoot himself, he'd be]] ''[[OverlyLongGag pushing up daisies!]]'' [[OverlyLongGag His metabolic processes are now]] ''[[OverlyLongGag history!]]'' [[SuddenlyShouting HE'S]] ''[[SuddenlyShouting OFF THE TWIG!]]'' [[LargeHam HE'S]] ''[[LargeHam KICKED THE BUCKET!]]'' [[LargeHam SHUFFLED OFF THE MORTAL COIL!]] [[LargeHam RUN DOWN THE CURTAIN AND]] ''[[LargeHam JOINED THE FRIGGIN' CHOIR INVISIBLE!]]'' [[PunctuatedForEmphasis THIS...IS AN]] '''''[[PunctuatedForEmphasis EX-PERSON!!!!!]]'''''
800** [[ComicallyMissingThePoint "Well, I better replace it, then."]]
801*** [[BigWordShout GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHD!]]
802** The Critic parodies lines from Creator/WilliamShakespeare in a mock British voice:
803--->''(after Johnny's suicide)'' [[Theatre/{{Hamlet}} "Good night, sweet prick, and flights of assholes send thee to thy rest."]]
804--->''(as everyone cries over Johnny's death)'' [[Theatre/RomeoAndJuliet "For never has there been a tale of more blow than this dumbass bitch and her Tommy Wiseau."]]
805** During this scene, Lisa tries to convince Mark that they're now free to be together.
806--->"Wow, that's a clumsy rebound."\
807"Come on! We'll have sex on his corpse. It'll be tons of fun!"
808* The Critics's reaction to the random UsefulNotes/SanFrancisco shot during Johnny's Birthday party.
809-->'''Critic:''' What, was the screensaver ''while the movie LOADS?! (loading bar pops up as the scene plays again, reading 'Loading Dick Sauce of a movie...)''
810* When Johnny laughs at Mark's story about a girl being beaten up.
811-->'''Critic:''' ''(sarcastic chuckling)'' Hehehe... [[HaHaHaNo that's not funny,]] [[DudeNotFunny you sick fuck.]]
812** Again when Johnny laughs about Mark being cranky.
813--->'''Critic:''' Stop laughing at things that aren't funny, you goddamn weirdo! And why is there no wind blowing in their (Johnny and Denny) hair?
814* Critic points out how rushed the store scene is.
815-->'''Critic:''' (as Johnny) Hello, I would like to buy a dozen roses. \
816'''Critic:''' HEY, JACKASS! I'M CLOSING MY STORE IN 30 SECONDS! \
817'''Critic:''' (as Johnny) [[MotorMouth Heresthemoneykeepthechangehellodoggiebye!]]"
818* "Ha ha ha, let's roleplay. You be [[Franchise/MortalKombat Sonya Blade]], and I'll be [[TakeThat a terrible actor.]]"
819* The Critic's increasing exasperation with Mark's obliviousness to Lisa's advances.
820-->'''Critic:''' ''Oh my God'', do you need ''landing lights to the bed?!'' '''''She wants to sleep with you!''''' That's the thing she does every other stinkin' time you're over, ''you fucking idiot!''
821* His commentary on the first sex scene:
822-->'''Critic:''' Look at this angle here. Really look at it. Is he fucking her belly button? 'Cause it looks like he's fucking her belly button. Dude, I don't know how many times you've had sex, but it's [[PunctuatedForEmphasis NOT. THAT. TIGHT!]]
823* After the sex scene:
824-->'''Critic:''' So Johnny gets up for a minute, and--\
825''(shot of Johnny walking to the bathroom, with his ass in plain view, but censored by a [[StealthPun donkey]] head)''\
826'''Critic:''' [[ScreamingAtSquick DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!]] '''Fuck it''', movie, '''fuck it''' ! I got a hard enough time watching his acting, you gotta show me his ''ass''?! What the hell?!
827* "That's right, you listen to me...[[RememberTheNewGuy whoever I am!]]"
828* Johnny randomly asking about Mark's sex life:
829-->'''Johnny:''' Anyway, how's your sex life?\
830'''Critic:''' ''(SpitTake)''\
831'''Mark:''' Can't talk about it.\
832'''Johnny:''' Why not?\
833'''Critic:''' Why not?! How about you just brought it the fuck out of nowhere, you...''[[BuffySpeak weird alien man]]''!
834* Lupa, Linkara, and Spoony's cameos, begging him not to review the movie so he doesn't go crazy. Spoony's is especially funny, since he first thinks the Critic is reviewing ''Film/HighlanderIITheQuickening'', only to run out [[ScreamsLikeALittleGirl screaming]] when he finds out it's ''The Room''.
835** There's also this moment when Linkara interrupts:
836--->'''Linkara:''' You're mad, Critic! MAD!\
837'''Critic:''' Begone!\
838'''Linkara:''' ''(suddenly calm)'' Okay. ''(casually walks off)''
839* The reveal that flying seahorses have taken over the world. "Surprised no one saw it coming, really."
840* "You know that creepy guy who looked at you funny on the subway? Yeah, he made a movie apparently."
841* After the first awkward sex scene, Critic comes up with the theory that the whole film was originally a sex tape that was found and had to be passed off as an independent movie project.
842-->'''Wiseau!Critic:''' Oh, no, no. It's not sex tape, it's, uh, independent movie I'm making. Yeah, that's it, independent movie. And, uh, I'm in it, and, uh, so is my girlfriend.\
843'''Girlfriend!Critic:''' Tommy, what are you doing?\
844'''Wiseau!Critic:''' I had to think of something, we just have to make movie now.\
845'''Girlfriend!Critic:''' But neither of us can act!\
846'''Wiseau!Critic:''' WE MAKE MOVIE NOW!
847* The party's fight scene having [[StealthPun cat meows added to it]].
848* Johnny blows up at Mark and sulks into the bathroom. Lisa decides this would be a perfect opportunity to phone Mark while Johnny is obviously in earshot. The Critic lampshades the hell out of this stunningly stupid moment.
849-->'''Lisa:''' Hi Mark, I need to talk to you.\
850'''Johnny!Critic:''' ''[[LampshadeHanging Oh god, are you serious!?]]''\
851'''Lisa:''' Don't worry about Johnny. He's just being a big baby.\
852'''Johnny!Critic:''' ''[[ImStandingRightHere I'm standing right here, man]]!''\
853'''Lisa:''' You know I love you very much.\
854'''Johnny!Critic:''' ''You are tearing me apart, Lisa!''
855* When the review was temporarily removed, Critic responded back with ''The Tommy Wiseau Show'', a short which mocked ''The Room'', Wiseau and "John", the alleged moderator of theroommovie.com website.
856-->'''Wiseau!Critic:''' Oh, hai, [[FunetikAksent eeternet]]!. I'm Tommy Wiseau, and this is my [[HilariousInHindsight Tommy Wi-show]]...Seau? Show? ''(stammers)'' I am me. You probably know me from such classic movies as ''The Room'', and...and [[OneBookAuthor that's probably all you know me from.]]
857[[/folder]]
858
859[[folder:The Phantom]]
860* At the beginning of the review:
861-->'''Critic:''' Let's talk about Film/{{The Phantom|1996}}! ''(cuts to ''Theatre/ThePhantomOfTheOpera'')'' No. Not ''that'' Phantom. ''(cuts to Creator/GerardButler as the Phantom of the Opera)'' [[TakeThat Eww! Definitely not that Phantom]]! No, believe it or not, there is actually something [[TakeThat far worse than Gerard Butler singing]]... ''({{Beat}})'' [[TakeThat Almost]].
862* "All of our future plans are SKULLS!!"
863* "Pfft. What businessman would honestly question a supernatural treasure hunt for an evil skull that has demonic powers?" ''(eye roll, smile)''
864* The ending, where his erection as a result of Catherine Zeta Jones being in the movie gets him trapped under his desk.
865* Among the other criticism about the Phantom's appearance: "You couldn't be more obvious if you were shitting fireworks!!!"
866* "Run! It's the gayest thing you've ever seen!"
867* "Ah! Death by purple-ass!"
868* "Ha! I am acting!"
869* The intro with the pirate leader, Canisang (Freeze frame with caption "I don't know, can you?" {{Rimshot}}!)
870* "So the plane that's carrying Diana gets ambushed by air pirates."
871-->'''[[WesternAnimation/TaleSpin Don Karnage]]:''' Attack! ''(fires guns)''
872* "Aww... but I was so cautious!"
873* His initial reaction of seeing ''The Phantom''.
874* "CAKE AND SANDWICHES?!"
875[[/folder]]
876
877[[folder:Zeus and Roxanne]]
878* Playporpoise.
879* DOLPHIN PUNCH!
880* ''Blind Date'' with Steve Guttenberg.
881-->''(arrow on Guttenberg)'' "Is afraid she has seen the Police Academy movies"
882* The triumphant return of the "Wah Wah machine" when Guttenburg's son makes him another omelette.
883* ''[[WesternAnimation/TheLionKing1994 Nyaaaaaaa!]] This movie sucks! You got totally screwed... Did you even see the poster? And you paid money for this...''
884* Porn music playing when the dog notices the photo of a dolphin.
885* Zeus and Roxanne's kids
886* His reaction to "If a dog and a dolphin can get along, why can't our mom and his dad?"
887** '''WORLD PEACE DECLARED'''
888* The Critic laughing his ass off at Zeus sliding off the boat -- complete with slide whistle sound effect!
889* "The only problem is, she has competition with...AAAAHHH! [[Film/TheMummyTrilogy The Mummy!]]" ''(main theme from ''The Mummy'' plays)''
890* [[Series/GilligansIsland "Just sit right back / and you'll hear a tale / a tale of a fateful trip!"]]
891* The subtitles for Zeus and Roxanne communicating with each other.
892-->'''Zeus:''' I've always loved you.\
893'''Roxanne:''' That's totally gross, you're an abomination.\
894'''Zeus:''' Come on, my balls are gone but I can still get the job done.\
895'''Roxanne:''' JESUS you're nasty! Get the fuck away from me, perv!
896* The scene where Roxanne is trying to communicate with Guttenberg.
897-->'''Critic:''' What's that? Lobster people are invading the forest with blenders? Ninjas from another planet are planning to steal all the earth's corn??
898[[/folder]]
899
900[[folder:Animaniacs Tribute]]
901* Mr. Director from ''WesternAnimation/{{Animaniacs}}'' discusses his film Bushkabliben, "like a fairy tale from Tommy Wiseau" that won The Award of Cleveland.
902* In a similar vein, ''Slappy the Squirrel'' making a (vocal) appearance.
903-->'''Slappy:''' When's the last time you saw the ''WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy'' get hit on the head with a mallet? It's never gonna happen.
904* "[[WesternAnimation/TinyToons Water go down the hooooooole!]]"
905** When Critic childishly tells Nate to do it again, he responds with a completely deadpan "No way in hell." Cue your traditional Critic tantrum. And if you look at it another way, ''the Critic just got told off by Skippy Squirrel.''
906* "Yes, well, I love to destroy careers".
907* The discussion about the ''total censor failure''.
908* "Yes, well, I'm not really one to comment, since I'm one of the few people who ''framed a twitter'' from Roger Ebert..." ''(image of Ebert's twitter post in a digital photo frame)''
909* "It was the worst kind of celebrity for me at that age, you know? I was thirteen, and trying to look very masculine and for the ladies, but they all thought of me as this cuddly-wuddly fuzzy little squirrel. And that did not help me with the ladies for quite a while. Yeah."
910** "It's tough being a squirrel."
911[[/folder]]
912
913[[folder:The Flintstones Movie]]
914* Creator/HalleBerry trying to save the film by flashing the audience.
915* "Science of [[WesternAnimation/LooneyTunes Wile E. Coyote]], don't fail me now!"
916* [[Film/SuperMarioBros1993 "Monkey!"]]
917* After Fred's secretary enters:
918-->'''Critic (as Fred):''' ...Is that my hoe?
919* Trying to avoid unfortunate implications after Creator/HalleBerry asks how Fred wants his coffee.
920-->'''Creator/HalleBerry's Character:''' How would you like it?\
921'''Critic:''' Bllllaaaaaaa-- ''(voice starts dying down as he realizes how tactless finishing the word "black" would be)''\
922'''Fred:''' In a cup.\
923'''Critic:''' Good answer!
924* After seeing all the {{pun}}s: "Ow, ow, joke hurting me!"
925* This exchange:
926-->'''Cliff:''' Give me the bird.\
927'''Critic:''' Gladly! ''([[VisualPun blows into his own thumb to simulate inflation, then flips him the bird]])''
928** Immediately afterward:
929--->'''Dicta-Bird:''' I should've signed with Disney, they never would've allowed this sort of thing to happen!\
930'''Critic:''' I dunno, [[WesternAnimation/TheLionKing1994 killing innocent animals]] seems to be like a fetish for them.
931* The Critic wants to watch ''Tar Wars'' instead of the actual movie.
932* All the ''Film/{{Dune|1984}}'' jokes during the scenes with the Creator/KyleMacLachlan character.
933* The Critic's jabs at the [[SpecialEffectsFailure obvious animatronics]] of the Dicta-Bird.
934-->'''Critic:''' (''moving like a bad animatronic'') I will be your guide on "The Flintstones Ride"!
935* When the Critic sees a Flintstone's parody of [[Film/AChristmasStory The Christmas Story Lamp]].
936-->'''Critic:''' Wait, is that the Christmas Story Lamp? (''beat'') [[SarcasmFailure I don't get it.]]
937[[/folder]]
938
939[[folder:Mr. Nanny]]
940* His reaction to the kids' sadism, when Hulk Hogan steps out of the shower to get electrocuted.
941-->'''Critic:''' Uhh, you know, there's a difference between pranks and ''attempted murder.'' I mean Jesus, kids, this is some creepy shit!\
942'''Alex Jr.:''' It's only low voltage. It can't kill him.\
943'''Critic:''' Ah, okay, I guess it's not that bad.\
944'''Kate:''' Then crank it up!\
945'''Critic:''' ''(disturbed expression; Hulk Hogan getting shocked, then screen cuts to cemetery)'' Okay, okay, that didn't happen, but it might as well!
946** And then the Critic's realization that they go for ''both'' sides of S&M, as they're really, really, ''really'' [[TooKinkyToTorture eager to be punished]].
947* [[WesternAnimation/DextersLaboratory Tell Dee Dee to shtay out of my room!]]
948* [[Film/AnimalHouse Sean Armstrong died immediately on impact. The children are now in an institute for the criminally insane.]] [[ActorAllusion Max never did another]] [[Film/TheMuppetMovie Muppet movie.]]
949** Immediately before that, playing [[Film/MaryPoppins "Go Fly A Kite"]] as Hulk prepares to ride off on his rigged motorcycle.
950* After the girl stops Hulk Hogan from stepping up to the bullies: "Dumbass kid, you have a fucking Hulk Hogan and you don't even know what to do with him! That is unless you consider dropping him in a pool of red dye as using him productively!"
951* And the aformentioned scene with Hogan now soaked in red dye, chews out the kids:
952-->'''Hogan''': That's it! I've had it!\
953'''Critic:''' Ohohoho, my God. This is the kind of thing they put on the back of horror movie [=DVDs=].
954** This, of course, introduces the "SCARY SLO-MO":
955--->'''Hogan:''' '''NO MORE GAMES, NO MORE TRICKS! YOU'RE GONNA SIT HERE, 'TIL I TELL YOU TO GET UP! FROM NOW ON YOU BETTER ACT RIGHT, CAUSE [[PunctuatedForEmphasis I! AIN'T! LEAVING!!]]'''\
956'''Critic''': "Yeah, [[BringMyBrownPants your pants feel a lot heavier, don't they?]]"
957** Later, ''another'' SCARY SLO-MO: "Sing!" '''"SSSIIINNNGGG!!!"'''
958* "The household appliances...win."
959** While he's looking around on the floor, the cave music from ''VideoGame/SuperMarioWorld'' is playing.
960* "Oh, it's my Douchemeter. It tells me I'm supposed to neglect you until the climax of the movie. Can't blame an overused formula!"
961* "I can [[TastesLikePurple hear colors]]. My penis is numb."
962* ..."Is it me, or are they playing ''I Will Survive''?"
963* His impression of Wrestling/HulkHogan as a woman.
964* "Heh heh... it's funny because he almost died."
965* The climax, where the villain, Thanatos, spins around and around due to the metal plate in his head acting as a magnet.
966-->'''Critic:''' ''(chuckling as he watches)'' What the hell am I looking at? Y'know, for a movie with the premise of a male nanny, I ''really'' didn't expect some of this imagery.
967[[/folder]]
968
969[[folder:Rocky IV]]
970* [[RussianReversal In Soviet Russia, evil catchphrases say you!]]
971* Upon seeing Paulie in a comically-undersized birthday hat smoking a cigar, he muses whether there's any greater image than that. [[RhetoricalQuestionBlunder Cue a photoshopped image]] of Creator/CatherineZetaJones [[SexyShirtSwitch wearing the Critic's shirt, tie and cap]] saying "[[DoYouWantToCopulate Do me, Critic.]]"
972* Calling the robot [[JumpingTheShark Shark-Jumper 5000]][[note]](Ruins any movie instantly in the first five minutes. WOW! No More Credibility! Only $1,999,999,999,999,999).[[/note]] and comparing it to putting a singing giraffe in a [[Film/TheGodfather Godfather]] movie.
973** Relatedly, his [[OverlyLongGag long]] low voiced realisation as to how un-gritty the movie is. Which is followed by... "WHY DOES THAT EXIST?!?"
974** "I'm sorry, you can't come back from that. Talk about the fight all you want but all I can think of is that robot giving Pauly a handjob."
975** He also plays the ''Super Metroid'' theme when the robot appears.
976* When Apollo gets provoked by Drago:
977-->'''Critic (as Apollo):''' Never in all my years have I had another boxer tell me that ''he'' was gonna win instead of ''me''! What a shock! What an absolute shock!
978* The fight between Drago and Apollo. [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X1rKvJuahvY All of it]]. Also, the Critic's reaction to Apollo's Broadway Musical-esque entrance.
979-->'''[[OnlySaneMan Critic!Drago]]:''' Um... I don't know what you guys normally do, [[RussianReversal but in Russia,]] [[WhyDontYouJustShootHim we just punch one another.]]
980** "I-I'm with Drago right now, [[BigLippedAlligatorMoment this is some weird-ass shit!]]"
981** Voicing Apollo Creed's OhCrap reaction to Drago:
982--->'''Critic (as Apollo):''' [[OhCrap Oh shit!]] [[AttackAttackRetreatRetreat Uh... hey Rocky! What do you say we postpone this for about two weeks]]-- '''*DING!*''' ''[[ThisIsGonnaSuck Ohh fuck...]]''
983* "So, yeah, Apollo's not doing very well. So Rocky, being a faithful friend, tries to decide when is the right moment to throw in the towel. [[WhatTheHellHero He decides to wait until he's dead."]]
984* The part where Paulie [[ShutUpHannibal lashes out at the Soviet commission]].
985-->'''Critic (as Rocky):''' ''[[WhatTheHellHero Damnit Paulie!]]'' I asked you to do two things!!! [[PreemptiveShutUp Shut up]], [[AssInAmbassador and not start an international incident]], ''[[NiceJobBreakingItHero you didn't do either!!]]''
986* The Critic's rendition of the conversation between Adrian and Rocky -- which, AsYouKnow, [[OnceAnEpisode also happened in every other Rocky movie]].
987-->'''Adrian:''' Rocky, I came to [[{{Wangst}} bitch and moan at you]] about why you shouldn't fight!\
988'''Rocky:''' And I, the wise genius, [[FauxlosophicNarration have yet another bullshit reason about why I should fight]]!\
989'''Adrian:''' ''I can't support you!''\
990'''Rocky: Fine!'''\
991''(beat)''\
992'''Rocky:''' So... you come in the fourth act to support me?\
993'''Adrian:''' Don't I always?\
994'''Rocky:''' Cool.
995* "Well, as you can see, Drago is training his body to be a heavyweight champion, while Rocky is training his body to be Amish equipment."
996* [[Theatre/TheSoundOfMusic "The hiiiiiiillllllllls are allllllliiiiiiiiiveeeeeeeeee..."]]
997** "... with the sound of [[SkywardScream DRAAAAAAAAGOOOOOOOOO!!!]]"
998* The Critic pointing out how ''anything'' can be [[RuleOfCool made awesome]] via a ''Franchise/{{Rocky}}''-esque montage by showing the Franchise/CareBears dancing and a scene from ''Film/TheStarWarsHolidaySpecial'' intercut with said montage.
999** The real kicker in this bit comes when it mixes footage of Drago with the intro to ''Series/TheBradyBunch''.
1000* The Critic's reaction to Paulie ''[[OutOfCharacterMoment suddenly becomes emotional!]]''
1001-->'''Critic (as Paulie):''' ''[[BlatantLies And I'm not just saying that]] [[InVinoVeritas 'cause I'm drunk,]] [[MushroomSamba high as a kite]], [[BringMyBrownPants and pissed myself!]] I...'' [[{{Metaphorgotten}} Where was I going with this?]]
1002* ''And in this corner, [[FakeRussian he is a Swedish actor playing a Russian]] [[TakeThat just to add double-insult to your country,]] '''Creator/DolphLundgren!''' ''
1003* This joke:
1004-->'''Drago:''' [[MemeticMutation I must]] [[BadassBoast break you.]] \
1005'''Critic:''' '''HA!''' [[InsultBackfire Joke's on you,]] [[InaneBlabbering the right side of his mouth is already broken!]]
1006* Everything the Critic has Rocky saying [[NoHoldsBarredBeatdown as Drago wails on him with each consecutive punch]].
1007-->'''Critic (as Rocky):''' Oh, my God, this is a mistake. I immediately regret this. Oh, WOW is this guy tough! I can't feel the left side of my body! I don't remember who my mother is. Now I think I'm a cuckoo-clock. The more I think about it, the robot needs a sister. UUNNCLLEEEE!!!"
1008* The epic NoHoldsBarredBeatdown of Ivan Drago, following by the voiceover by the Critic:
1009-->'''Critic (as Rocky):''' [[AndThisIsFor This is for Apollo. This is for Adrian. This is for my son. This is for Uncle Ben. This is for Aunt May. This is for that munchkin that apparently hanged himself in The Wizard of Oz. DIIIIE!!!! ]]
1010* The Russian translation of the final speech.
1011-->'''Announcer:''' [[Series/MontyPythonsFlyingCircus He says he puts on women's clothing and hangs around in bars.]]
1012
1013[[/folder]]
1014
1015[[folder:Chairman of the Board]]
1016* "Dick joke, dick joke, dick joke, dick joke, dick joke, dick joke, dick joke. [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking Penis]]."
1017** "[[PunctuatedForEmphasis PLEASE. MOVE. FORWARD]]!!"
1018* "WHY are they dressed like Crash Test Dummies? Cheese."
1019** "Cheese! It's as good as any other answer."
1020* Critic's new comedic spin-off: "Critic & Trout". Which comes right after Critic's rant about stand-up comedians having to put more effort into their comedic spin-offs.
1021* "They eat lunch as an Indian and a cowboy. (beat) What makes you think I know?"
1022* "You can't solve everything with a beach party! This isn't ''Series/SavedByTheBell''!"
1023* When Carrot Top's character is ejected from his bed, it cuts to WesternAnimation/WallaceAndGromit in The Wrong Trousers.
1024-->'''Wallace:''' Aaaaaaah, [=GromiiiiiIIIIIIIIIIt=]!!
1025* This Running Gag:
1026-->''(Raquel Welch shows up)'' Hello, Raquel Welch... ''(she leaves)''...goodbye, Raquel Welch.
1027* His remark towards Carrop Top's character:
1028-->'''Bradford:''' ''(to Carrot Top's character)'' Your ignorance is no longer charming.\
1029'''Critic:''' His ignorance was ''never'' charming!
1030* At one point, Critic writes an apology letter for the audience in the name of the filmmakers.
1031--->'''Critic''': “Dear Film Viewers, we are extremely sorry for the film we have given you. We should have known better and will remember next time to treat you like you have a brain. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, (Beat) sorry.”
1032
1033[[/folder]]
1034
1035[[folder:The Next Eleven Fuck-Ups]]
1036* Him sticking a grenade up Douchey's ass (offscreen)...again.
1037-->'''Douchey's Mom:''' Ask him if he wants to stay for dinner!
1038* "Good God! I have never had a dead person annoy me so much!"
1039** "[[WesternAnimation/{{Casper}} Except for him!]]"
1040* Any time Douchey's mother speaks. "Are you masturbating again?!"
1041* The Linkara 'speaking machine', which ends with [[BerserkButton Bat Credit Card]].
1042* A meta one: the video itself has an obvious mistake (which doesn't seem to have been intentional) when he talks about Bladebeak from ''WesternAnimation/QuestForCamelot'' making a FaceHeelTurn rather than the other way around.
1043* This:
1044-->'''Douchey:''' A pox, a pox on both your houses!\
1045'''Critic:''' Please stop that.\
1046'''Douchey:''' ''(mutters)'' A pox.
1047* This little exchange:
1048-->'''Critic:''' Don't you have anything else to do?\
1049'''Douchey:''' I live in a world of VideoGame/WorldOfWarcraft and pornography! There is nothing else!\
1050'''Both:''' ''(at the same time)'' ...Except complaining about the Nostalgia Critic.\
1051'''Douchey:''' LLLLLUUUUUUUCIFERR!\
1052'''Critic:''' Don't ya mean Chernabog?\
1053'''Douchey:''' WHATEVER!
1054* His reaction to the Bat Credit Card on screen:
1055-->'''Critic:''' Well of course, except for the appearance of the-- ''(Bat-credit card appears)'' The Bat-nipples? Why would I care about the bat-nipples? They were in the last movie! ''(Bat-credit card appears again)'' Oh! Oh, I apologize! I must've seen that wrong. Sorry, heh! Let me just change my reaction accordingly. ''(ahem)'' [[BerserkButton A BAT CREDIT CARD?!!]] ''(goes berserk)''
1056* Before his #1 pick, he declares that he has no #1 this year and is ready to end the video. Suddenly the elephant in the room says "Ahem" and reminds him of the autism joke he made in his ''Ernest Saves Christmas'' review. The way the elephant keeps talking even as the Critic tries to drown him out is funny, eventually culminating in the Critic surrendering: "OKAY YOU'RE RIGHT!!!"
1057[[/folder]]
1058
1059[[folder:Pound Puppies and the Legend of Big Paw]]
1060* His reenactment of a drunk Merlin thinking up the "Bone of Scone".
1061-->'''Critic (as Merlin):''' And he who pulls the sword from the stone, ''(hic)'' will be named ki- ''(starts laughing)'' I just thought of something. What if, just hear me out, what if, we put a bone in the stone? ''(laughing)'' I don't know why, I don't know why! Everyone's gonna be like, 'Why is there a bone in the stone? What's the point of it blablablabla' and I'm going to be like 'that contains puppy power.' ''(laughs)'' and, and everyone's going to be like 'Well what the hell is puppy power?' well, I'll tell you in a second. ''(smokes a joint, laughs)''
1062* [=McNasty's=] Daycare "Only [[XDaysSince 5 day's since our last mysteriously disappeared child]]"
1063* His comment about the dog's [[OffModel disappearing nose]]. "I think they're (the puppies) saying that my disappearing, sloppily animated nose is back at the pound!"
1064* "It's a beautiful day in whateversvilles. The sun is shining, the clouds are out, [[SpecialEffectFailure the cars stop in mid-dissolve]]. Everything's great."
1065* "[[DullSurprise Oh boy, I think the director's kids wanted a cameo.]]"
1066** His reaction to the "director's kids" who got a cameo in the film. "Could you try to act like you give a shit!?"
1067* This bit:
1068-->'''Cooler:''' Us Coolers are descended from King Arthur's puppy, Dig-alot.\
1069'''Critic:''' ''(while facepalming)'' [[WhoWritesThisCrap Who wrote this?!]]
1070* "Oh, and uh take the dog with the pot on his head and the broom up his arse, I don't think he's well."
1071* "Remember kids, you can talk to your dog. And for some reason it doesn't work, there's something wrong with you. You should be ashamed of yourself and feel totally awful you are unable to enjoy your dog. Sorry, we don't know what the fuck is wrong with you. Maybe you're just an idiot."
1072* It's... It's... It's... Series/MontyPythonsFlyingCircus!
1073* "For dry, red eyes, Clear Eyes is awesome."
1074* His reaction to what Big Paw says after he sees his friends fall into a trapdoor in front of [=McNasty's=] mansion.
1075-->'''Big Paw:''' I'd better hide!\
1076'''Critic:''' You'd better hide?! You're a giant! [[JustEatHim Why don't you just fucking]] ''[[JustEatHim eat]]'' [[JustEatHim the house]]?!
1077* "What, did Pound ''Pussy'' just cause too much controversy?"
1078* "Wow, thanks, magic walking, talking dog! Boy, this is the best high EVER."
1079* [[DevilInPlainSight "There's something odd about that man"]], followed by Critic's reaction.
1080* His reaction to Reflex's... reflex, which involves a BrickJoke.
1081-->'''Critic:''' That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard! No rhyme or reason. ''[fires gun into the air whilst drinking out of a human skull]''
1082* Regarding this very redundant scene:
1083-->'''Jeff:''' It's time? \
1084'''Tammy:''' [[DepartmentofRedundancyDepartment It's time! It's time!]] \
1085'''Nose Marie:''' [[BrokenRecord It's time!]] \
1086'''Howler:''' [[OverlyLongGag It's time!]] \
1087'''Critic:''' [[SuddenlyShouting IS IT TIME?!]]
1088* His reaction to the utterly atrocious VillainSong: "[[WesternAnimation/TitanicTheLegendGoesOn Bring the rapping dog back!]]"
1089** [=McNasty=]'s musical number is described as "dah dah dah dah dah!", and "SHIT" is superimposed over the footage.
1090* The scene where he comments on how fun the Puppy Pound is... [[CrossesTheLineTwice then showing pictures of a real, depressing dog pound]]. The Critic trying so very hard and failing to keep the mood up by singing the show's theme song, making this go from jarring to funny.
1091-->'''Critic:''' ... Fuck this, I'm getting a turtle.
1092* [[WesternAnimation/HeManAndTheMastersOfTheUniverse1983 "By the power of Greyhound!"]]
1093** "Oh, hell with this! I'm devoting my life to catching Smurfs!"
1094* His thing concerning [=McNasty's=] [[LogicalFallacies illogical]] idea in which he thinks he's king because he has [[MacGuffin the Bone of Scone]].
1095-->'''Critic (as [=McNasty=]):''' Let me in at once! I am your new King!\
1096'''Critic (as Guard):''' Err, no you're not, we've got a President.\
1097'''Critic (as [=McNasty=]):''' But the bone, the bone! ''(beat; the guard shoots him)''
1098* When [=McNasty=] and his cronies get thrown into a machine that [[HeelFaceTurn turns them nice]], the zap of the machine happened off screen, cutting back to ''dead skeletons!''
1099* The ScoobyDoobyDoors scene. You can ''see'' [[Franchise/ScoobyDoo the joke coming.]]
1100* Return of the SCARY SLOW-MO!
1101* Critic recreating the ''Film/FightClub'' scene where there's a single frame of porn inserted during a kids movie because the Big Paw song is getting on his nerves. With the single frame of porn being a dog mounting another dog.
1102[[/folder]]
1103
1104[[folder:The Pebble and the Penguin]]
1105* The opening.
1106-->'''Critic:''' Today we're gonna look at a film by Creator/DonBluth— [[OhNoNotAgain Goddammit! How come he keeps turning up here]]?!
1107* This:
1108-->'''Hubie:''' Rocko, there's something you should know.\
1109'''Critic:''' [[WesternAnimation/RockosModernLife Your modern life]] is no longer in reruns.
1110** Followed by: "Next, you'll be telling me that [[VideoGame/{{Portal}} the cake is a lie!]]"
1111* Morgan Freeman [[Film/MarchOfThePenguins narrating]].
1112* Critic excusing himself for a bath during yet another pointless song, then taking a toaster into the bathtub with him. [[UnexplainedRecovery He comes back to finish the review, though]].
1113* ''(as Rocko and Hubie escape from the ship during a storm)'' [[Series/GilligansIsland "The weather started getting rough! The tiny ship was tossed!"]]
1114* This exchange:
1115-->'''Hubie:''' I dream about [Marina] night and day! I see her face when I close my eyes!\
1116'''Critic:''' I do things when that happens! Things that my penguin minister says make Baby Jesus cry.
1117* This:
1118-->'''Narrator:''' Of all the penguins in all the world--\
1119'''Humphrey Bogart:''' [[Film/{{Casablanca}} ... she walks into mine.]]
1120* Rocko, Hubie, [[Film/EvilDead2 Ash and the furniture around him]] laughing, then Ash shooting at the former two.
1121* Music/MichaelJackson's song from Film/FreeWilly playing when an orca attacks Hubie and Rocko.
1122* When Drake pushes up his pecs:
1123-->'''Critic:''' MAN-TITS AWAY!
1124** Also his lack of surprise when Hubie gets knocked aside with one hit from the much larger Drake.
1125* Upon seeing Rocko flying Hubie and Marina upwards to safety, the Critic [[ManipulativeEditing turns the screen upside down]], stating that the direction they appeared to be flying now was the direction they were really headed. Complete with a crash sound effect.
1126* After they rip off the "Wish Upon a Star" thing from ''WesternAnimation/{{Pinocchio}}'':
1127-->"This is the Wishing Star. Our attorneys advise you to stop ripping off Disney, or we'll sue you for the little that you have. Thank you, and never call us again." '''*click*'''
1128* His criticizing Hubie's song at the beginning:
1129-->'''Hubie:''' ♪''Sometimes I wonder what the colors mean...''♪\
1130'''Critic:''' Uh, why don't you figure out what that ''lyric'' means first? It's like saying "I wanna know what the sounds smell like!"
1131* Critic calling Drake's lair "Frankenberry's house".
1132* This moment:
1133--> '''Marina:''' ''(singing)'' I close my eyes, and say a prayer...\
1134'''Critic:''' ''(deadpan)'' She's sad. Next.
1135* Hubie crossing out the line "I'm looking for a pebble so I can get laid" from the script.
1136* "''[imitating Hubie]'' I came to lose my virginity!"
1137* NC's absolute dread when Rocco and Hubie do a lame musical number about being friends and then him repeatedly smacking himself in the head and going ballistic over the sheer amount of terrible pointless musical numbers in the film.
1138-->'''Critic:'''Please! No more! I'm done! I'm done with these fucking songs! There's like a bajillion of them in this movie! CAN'T YOU JUST SAY THINGS?! CAN'T YOU JUST SPEAK FOR ONE MINUTE?!
1139* Critic theorizing that [[AssPull Rocko gained the ability to fly]] because [[HandWave "he ate a fairy, I don't know"]].
1140* Critic is disturbed when Drake is crushed to death by a rock, [[BloodlessCarnage despite not showing any blood]]. He adds his own blood effects.
1141* Critic saying he'd have expected a crossover between [[ComicBook/{{Batman}} The Penguin]] and [[WesternAnimation/TheFlintstones Pebbles]] judging by the title ''The Pebble and the Penguin'', complete with a photoshopped image of Pebbles with The Penguin from ''Film/BatmanReturns''.
1142[[/folder]]
1143
1144[[folder:Ernest Scared Stupid]]
1145* Bat-Bargo.
1146* [[Franchise/BackToTheFuture Marty! I've transformed myself into a withering black lady!]]
1147* '''"ZUUL, [[BullyingADragon YOU COCKSUCKING MOTHERFUCKER]] ZUUUUUL!"'''
1148* [[Franchise/FridayThe13th Cheap Cheap Cheap Shot Shot Shot]]
1149* "Uh no sorry, [[WebVideo/TheCinemaSnob Cinema Snob]] already reviewed Caligula. Besides, I don't want to see you naked."
1150* The use of ''Film/{{Troll 2}}'''s infamous BigOMG scene.
1151* '''RIMSHOT WILL LIVE.'''
1152* "So this of course summons the troll known as Trantor. Eh, that's not very impressive. Now [[WebAnimation/HomestarRunner Trogdor]]? THAT would be awesome!"
1153-->''[[WebAnimation/HomestarRunner TROGDOOOOOOOOR!]]''
1154* "Is it weird to say that she looks like Chester A. Bum's grandmother?"
1155-->"Hooray! I'm a bi-racial, half-feline, cat person! How come I'm not more surprised?"
1156* [[WesternAnimation/ATrollInCentralPark I'm a bad]] [[MemeticMutation troll...]]
1157* TheReveal of the {{Troll}} Ernest caught.
1158-->'''Douchey [=McNitpick=]:''' In ''WesternAnimation/ThePebbleAndThePenguin'', seals can grow that big. I've heard several discussions about it on numerous blogs... '''*squish*'''
1159* More Nostalgia-[[AccidentalInnuendo Ween]] is on the way.
1160* "Bipolar: The Family."
1161* "Not even [[WeaksauceWeakness milk]] [[ARareSentence can stop me now]]!"
1162* The sequence where Critic drinks milk and grows up (and ends up safe from trolls), a reference to the classic "Milk. It does a body good" ad campaign. [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wCpPDfAZTr8 Example here]].
1163* ''(after a false scare)'' "He's on the bed. He's on the bed. He's on the bed. He's on the bed. He's on the bed. He's on the bed." ''(girl turns and sees the troll on the bed beside her)''
1164** ''(after the main boy runs away from the troll and comes to a stop, his back to the camera)'' "He's behind him. He's behind him. He's behind him. He's behind him. He's behind him. He's behind him." ''(turns around and the troll's there)'' Oh, what a shock! He’s behind him.
1165** ''([[CameraAbuse Grabs the camera]])'' "It's NOT funny ''[[PunctuatedPounding (Punch)]]'' It's NOT funny ''(punch)'' it's NOT funny ''(punch)'' It's NOT funny!!" ''({{Beat}}) (punch)''
1166* He does, however, admit that one joke is ActuallyPrettyFunny.
1167-->'''Ernest:''' I've never been a quitter. Why I-I've never known ''when'' to quit! Just ask my 4th-Grade teacher.\
1168'''Teacher:''' He never knew when to quit. ''(Gives a 4th-Grade!Ernest a DopeSlap via OffhandBackhand for doing the NailsOnAChalkboard)''
1169* "Let's do a body good, boys!"
1170* [[{{Pun}} "His acting was a bit wooden."]] *rimshot*
1171* "Even God wants you dead, Ernest! That'll teach ya to say Mello Yello is better than Mountain Dew."
1172* "GOT MILK, MUTHAFUCKA!"
1173* Pointing out the BrokenAesop at the end.
1174-->'''Critic:''' Of course! Showing [[ThePowerOfLove unconditional love]] to ''kill'' your enemies! That's the ultimate weapon of destruction! [[HeartIsAnAwesomePower Peace and love!]]
1175* "Look out! We're being attacked by Rob Zombie's ''deviantART'' page!"
1176* "This is beginning to look like an episode of ''Series/{{COPS}}''."
1177[[/folder]]
1178
1179[[folder:Top 11 Scariest Performances]]
1180* After the intro ([[ComicStrip/{{Peanuts}} Lucy and Linus Van Pelt]] being beheaded by [[Franchise/FridayThe13th Jason]]): "What the hell is wrong with me?"
1181* Fail-in-the-box as a reaction to Vince Vaugn as Norman Bates in the shot-for-shot ''Film/{{Psycho|1998}}'' remake.
1182[[/folder]]
1183
1184[[folder:It]]
1185* The return of Dr. Smith.
1186** Who is [[EvenEvilHasStandards appalled at the idea]] that the Critic's playing the Stephen King DrinkingGame with ''It''.
1187--->Good God, man! That's been known to kill people!
1188** "I'm gonna shoot ya... all ''five'' of ya!"
1189** "Take that, Spider-Man! Not the superhero, the... the ''you!''"
1190* The Critic repeatedly opening and closing the book as Pennywise is talking all culminating in:
1191-->'''[[Film/TheRockyHorrorPictureShow Dr. Frank N Furter:]]''' I'm just a Sweet Transvestite... ''(shuts book and tosses it aside).''
1192* Critic pointing out that Creator/TimCurry's performance is more hilarious than scary and then suggesting that they just left the camera running as he was acting goofy.
1193* As [[DrivenToSuicide Jonathan Brandis]] is mentioned, the elephant in the room peeks on camera... "Oh, piss off!" ''(elephant hmm's)''
1194* Bill's parents reprimand him for coming into Georgie's room:
1195-->'''Critic Bill's Dad''': How dare you mourn the loss of your one and only brother! [''[[AbusiveParents slap]]'']
1196** Even funnier is that the following footage of Bill has him cupping his cheek, making it appear as if he's reacting to the Critic smacking him.
1197* "That is, until the missing member of the Music/InsaneClownPosse comes to join him."
1198* "Oh no, he's being assaulted by the California Raisins!"
1199* "Oh hey it's a beautiful Tim Curry out toni-- '''''AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!'''''"
1200* "Who would ever be scared by ballo-" ''(cut to ominous balloon)''
1201** "BALLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!"
1202** Even funnier if you know a thing or two about [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fpc5vgi9zbM Don Hertzfeldt]].
1203* The ending is freaking hilarious, bringing the {{Narm}} up to eleven for laughs. The reaction shots of Rob are even better.
1204* His reaction to one of the boys surviving by shielding himself with a book and repeating birds' names aloud.
1205-->'''Narrator:''' The only thing he could think of to do was to hold his bird book out in front of him like a shield and say as loud as he could the names of all the birds he could remember.\
1206'''Critic:''' ...Whaaaaaaaat...?\
1207'''Narrator:''' ...hold his bird book out in front of him like a shield and say as loud as he could the names of all the birds he could remember.\
1208'''Critic:''' ...Whyyyyyyyyyyyyy...?
1209** The Critic repelling Film/{{The Mummy|1999}} in the same way.
1210* ''(slashes his wrists)'' "Oh, wait, before I go, I should probably explain the situation.. ''(writes on the wall with his blood)'' "It..." ''(beat)'' and they can figure the rest from there." ''(dies)''
1211* [[ChewingTheScenery BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEV!]]
1212* [[WesternAnimation/TheNightmareBeforeChristmas I'm the shadow on the moon at night...]]
1213* Any and all times we are reminded that the Critic is drunk...
1214-->"Camera's purrrrty."\
1215"Why are you all spinning?"\
1216"I'm drunk, and I'm not even scared!"\
1217"[[Series/ILoveLucy I'm the Vitameatavegamin boy.]]" What's great is the “wait hold on” style pause before he changes the line from girl to boy, like he forgets what gender he is when he's drunk.
1218** And when Stan's head appears and starts talking with everyone, Critic throws away his bottle of booze.
1219*** "This is like a stand-up routine at Jeffrey Dahmer's house!"
1220* The Critic imagining Pennywise threatening Eddie, [[EvilLaugh cackling insanely...]] and then just [[NowWhat staring at him in awkward silence.]] Followed by a cameo of WesternAnimation/BugsBunny.
1221* The Critic making fun of the sound effects used everytime someone has a flashback.
1222-->"I looked into its dead-lights." ''(looks at the camera with a scared face)'' '''*boing*'''\
1223"You looked into its dead-lights?!" ''(exaggerated astonished face)'' '''*computer "ta-daaa" error sound*'''\
1224"I looked into its dead-lights!" ''(stupid face)'' '''*rooster cry*'''
1225* The Critic mocking the fact that the clown never eats the kids, wondering what is more important with his time.
1226-->"Rawr, I've got you now little boy! RAA-- Oh, my God, it's almost three!"\
1227''(Series/TheFreshPrinceOfBelAir theme song plays)''
1228* [[Film/WaynesWorld EXTREME CLOSEUP!!! WOOOOOOAAAAAAH!!!]]
1229* "We can either bring a ''machine gun'' or a ''slingshot''. Franchise/{{Rambo}} or ComicStrip/{{Dennis the Menace|US}}? (''thinks'') [[TooDumbToLive You're going down, Mr. Wilson! PEWPEWPEW!]]"
1230* The critic's reaction to IT's true form is hilarious:
1231-->'''Critic:''' What? WHAT? ''(throws whiskey in his face)'' WHATT??!! We waited three fucking hours for that??!! You can't be serious. You can't be serious!! If I heard that a movie called 'It' was just building up to a big silly monster, I think THIS ''(picture of [[Series/TheAddamsFamily Cousin Itt]])'' would have been a better payoff!!
1232* "Meanwhile, back at the restaurant, we see that the [[MisfortuneCookie fortune cookies]] have been replaced with Music/MarilynManson's wind-up toys, which, of course, scares the living shit out of them."
1233* [[Film/{{Spaceballs}} "Yes, my dear. Would I lie?"]]
1234* The Critic having written "BALLOONS" on the wall in red.
1235* The Critic's [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cdtoZt5Vx30 reaction]] To [[NightmareRetardant The Clown Dog]].
1236-->'''Critic:''' ''(laughing)'' This is the funniest thing i've ever seen in my life-- ''(slurred)'' Ah? It's supposed to be scary? Nah, nah, it's supposed to be funny! [[ItMakesSenseinContext It's a dog dressed up as a clown]] in slowmotion! Ah? That was really supposed to be scary? Well it's not! It's not!
1237* The ContrivedCoincidence of Henry Bowers and his gang being the only bullies anybody encounters in the story.
1238-->"Are these the only fucking bullies in the town?! Come on, kids, give the skinheads across the street a chance!"
1239* One of Doug's edited flashback transitions has the distinctive "woosh" sound from ''Series/{{Lost}}''
1240* "Oh no, she dropped her can of [[BrandX Beer beer!]] Isn't that the drink that the movie ''Film/{{Steel}}'' made famous?"
1241* "Oh yeah, I forgot: everyone in a Stephen King story is a JACKASS except for the insecure poet and/or loser."
1242[[/folder]]
1243
1244[[folder:Leprechaun]]
1245* ''VideoGame/MarioKart Film/DeathRace2000''
1246** "Don't forget to hit pedestrians to get the golden coins!"
1247* ZUUL, BEGORRAH, ZUUL!!!
1248* [[Literature/TheLordOfTheRings "Old Tom Bombadil is a merry fellow! Bright blue his jacket is, and his boots are yellow!"]]
1249* The Critic's impersonation of WebVideo/TheCinemaSnob, and when he can't keep it up...
1250-->'''Critic:''' ''(coughs)'' God ''damn'' it, I'm sick of this shit! How the hell do you do that voice?!\
1251'''Snob:''' YEARS of drinking Crystal Pepsi, my friend.\
1252'''Critic:''' Dick.
1253* The ''Film/RaidersOfTheLostArk'' bit.
1254-->'''Critic:''' But wait a minute, if that happened to him, whatever happened to the box?\
1255'''Snob:''' Oh, that's OK, he's being looked after by top men.\
1256'''Critic:''' Who?\
1257'''Snob:''' [[PunctuatedForEmphasis Top. Men.]] ''(cut to the ending from ''Film/RaidersOfTheLostArk'', with a logo saying "Notre Dame Fighting Irish Merchandise" superimposed over it.)''
1258* "What is this, [[Literature/FlowersForAlgernon Clovers for Algernon?]]
1259* When Creator/JenniferAniston tries to call for help over the phone.
1260-->'''Aniston:''' Hello, hello? Help us please! Come help us, we're trapped inside of here!\
1261'''[[Literature/{{IT}} Pennywise]]:''' Do you have Prince Albert in a can? You DO? Well you better let the poor guy out. A-ha, a-ha, a-ha!
1262* This bit.
1263-->'''Critic''': [[CatScare CAAAAAAAAT!]]\
1264'''Snob''': DOOOOOOG!
1265** It gets better:
1266--->'''Critic:''' What are you doing?\
1267'''Snob:''' I don't know, I just thought we were shouting animals.
1268** And then Snob looks utterly crushed when Critic forbids him from joining in.
1269* Snob smashing the Lucky Charms leprechaun.
1270** Which was a CallBack to the Top 11 Mascots episode. The Critic even thanks him for doing so!
1271* Basically all of the Critic and Snob interactions.
1272-->'''Critic:''' Thanks for joining me, Cinema Snob!\
1273'''Snob:''' Oh, thank you for-- ...No. This was a giant waste of time. ''(leaves)''\
1274'''Critic:''' ...''Dickhole''.\
1275'''Snob:''' ''(childishly)'' ''You're'' a dickhole!
1276** And this exchange towards the beginning.
1277--->'''Critic:''' ''(imitating the Snob)'' And we're going to review this little masterpiece, right here, toda--\
1278'''Snob:''' Uh, excuse me, what do you think you're doing?\
1279'''Critic:''' ... I'm the Cinema Snob.\
1280'''Snob:''' ''I'm'' the Cinema Snob.\
1281'''Critic:''' No, I'm the Cinema Snob.\
1282'''Cinema Snob:''' No, '''''I'm''''' the Cinema Snob.\
1283'''Both in unison:''' Tssssssssssssss-uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuggggggghhhhhhh.\
1284'''Cinema Snob:''' Well, okay, what do you say we review this anus turkey together?\
1285'''Nostalgia Critic:''' I would like that.\
1286'''Both:''' HAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-- ''tsssssssssssss-uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuggggggggghhhhh''.
1287* When the leprechaun gets his hand cut off...
1288-->[[Series/TheAddamsFamily "They're creepy and they're kooky."]]
1289* Both Snob and Critic's reaction to the one epic line in the film:
1290-->'''Alex''': [[PreMortemOneLiner Fuck you, Lucky Charms!]]\
1291''(The Critic and Cinema Snob go into euphoria)''
1292* Three Guys That Paint, on CBS!
1293* "[[{{WesternAnimation/Goofy}} Hop on your pogo stick, your pogo stick, your pogo stick...]]"
1294* The [[MakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext leprechaun wheelchair chase]] would have been [[SoBadItsGood funny enough already]], but adding "Yakkety Sax" makes it downright hilarious.
1295-->'''Snob (as leprechaun):''' You ''will'' take me seriously!
1296* How about when the tiny lepre-kart [[ArtisticLicensePhysics flips over the truck?]]
1297-->'''Both:''' Aww, come on!\
1298'''Critic:''' What, is the truck made out of ''styrofoam?!''\
1299'''Snob:''' My Hot Wheels don't flip over that easy!
1300* Creator/JimCarrey-[[Creator/KevinBacon Bacon]]'s explanation for what happened to the house is... a bear did it.
1301-->'''Critic:''' Yeah, [[SarcasmMode bears are often known for eating food and shining shoes.]] ''(Dual [[FacePalm forehead-slap]])''
1302** Leading to the "[[CaptainObvious Obvious Dumbass Line]]".
1303--->'''Tory:''' Nathan... that was no [[PrecisionFStrike fucking]] bear!\
1304'''Critic and Snob:''' Doyyyyyy!
1305* When Tory is told that the only way to kill the leprechaun is to get a four-leaf clover, we get this:
1306-->'''Critic''': So what you're saying is, [[{{Feghoot}} I have to look over a four leaf clover that I overlooked before]].
1307-->''(Critic ducks behind Snob as [[LamePunReaction the audience starts booing]], followed by [[MisplacedRetribution Snob]] being [[ProducePelting pelted by garbage]])''
1308[[/folder]]
1309
1310[[folder:My Pet Monster]]
1311* The Critic behaving like a sexually confused little boy. And writing in a diary exactly how a teenage girl would, kicking his legs and giggling a couple of times.
1312-->Dear Diary: Bernie said another joke today. God, he's funny, if only he knew the feelings I had towards him. If only... I was brave enough to tell him. God I'm a coward! [...] I almost had my chance today, but I chickened out at the last moment. Stupid Billy, stupid! Ah...One day you will be mine.
1313* Rob with a raptor head reading ''ComicStrip/TheFarSide''.
1314-->'''Rob:''' Ah, Gary Larson. I like cows too.
1315** Yup, I'm a Dinosaur.
1316* "Yeah, 'cause I remember acting like a monkey in ''eighth grade''. ...God, I was [[{{Foreshadowing}} pitied]]."
1317* "Daaaaaaw, thinking is haaaard!"
1318* His epic rant about the monster presented in the movie.
1319-->"So let me get this straight. This children's play thing that you can get at Toys R Us for like $15 is a better special effect than this animatronic CHUCK-E-CHEESE NIGHTMARE?!?! YOU LIED TO ME, MOVIE! YOU LIED TO ME! I thought I was getting this! But noooo! Instead I'm getting... ''(shudders)'' THE FUCKING ''CRACK BABY'' OF [[Literature/WhereTheWildThingsAre WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE]]!"
1320* When the monster goes through the fence in fast-motion:
1321-->'''Critic:''' '''JESUS!!!''' ''(falls from his chair)'' The movie just got a sudden meth attack out of nowhere!
1322** [[WesternAnimation/SonicTheHedgehogSatAM HE'S THE FASTEST THING ALIVEEEE!]]
1323* "So the statue decides to transform Max because... DERPITY DO..."
1324* Warning: May turn you into Technicolor [[Franchise/StarWars Wookie]] Diarrhea.
1325* "The ancient civilization of the Muppet tribe."
1326[[/folder]]
1327
1328[[folder:Nostalgic Commercials]]
1329* The whole Wet Banana commercial.
1330-->'''Narrator:''' Here's Wet Banana!\
1331'''Critic:''' Uhhhhhhh...\
1332'''Narrator:''' You can bounce and slide on Wet Banana like Billy!\
1333'''Critic:''' Yes....be like Billy and take ride on the Wet Banana.\
1334'''Narrator:''' You can dip and slide like Willy!\
1335'''Critic:''' Yes...dipping and sliding is a good thing to do with your Wet Banana.\
1336'''Narrator:''' Slippery wet fun for the whole gang!\
1337'''Critic:''' A very special kind of gang, but, yes, slippery wet fun is guaranteed.\
1338'''Narrator:''' Could that be [[YourMom mom]] on [[AccidentalInnuendo Wet]] [[DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything Banana?]]\
1339'''Critic:''' ''(SpitTake)''\
1340'''Narrator:''' It is!\
1341'''Critic:''' Mom! Get off my Wet Banana! ...What would Dad say?
1342** "My, My, That's a [[PrecisionFStrike Fucking]] Big Banana".
1343** "Caution, may hurt some women."
1344* Dinosaur!Rob trying to comfort the Critic.
1345** "I'm a Dinosaur."
1346* Well Christmas may be canceled ''forever''...
1347* Theorizing that Ecto Cooler may have very well been Slimer's splooge.
1348* Santa Sex Hot line.
1349* [[MotorMouth The Micro Machines guy]] doing an audiobook of ''Theatre/{{Hamlet}}''.
1350-->'''Critic:''' ''(listening to the "To Be or Not to Be: soliloquy, eyes crossing in confusion around the middle, ultimately leading to [[YourHeadASplode his head a sploding]] around "for in this sleep of death, what dreams may come")''
1351* FridgeLogic of ''WesternAnimation/TheFlintstones'':
1352-->'''Barney:''' Hey Fred, how can we celebrate Christmas if Jesus hasn't been born yet?\
1353'''Fred:''' Just eat your [[PrecisionFStrike fuckin']] cereal.
1354* The critic doing the voice of the TV in the Fraggle Rock Books bit.
1355-->'''Critic (as TV):''' ''(Big Echoing Voice)'' I'm so confident you won't stop watching me, that I'm just giving you books! ''(Evil Laughter)'' You can't break your addiction of me! [[TechnologyMarchesOn I won't die until the Internet's invented! I've got 10 more years, suckers!]] ''(Evil Laughter)''
1356** Also:
1357---> ''(Fraggle Rock theme plays on TV)''\
1358'''Kid:''' (turns off TV) I love Series/FraggleRock!\
1359'''Critic:''' [[FridgeLogic Then why'd you turn it off?]]
1360* The whole MagicPottyBaby bit.
1361-->'''Announcer:''' It's fun to help Magic Potty Baby learn to use her potty.\
1362'''Critic:''' NO, IT'S NOT. [[{{Squick}} IT'S FUCKING GROSS!]]
1363** At the end of the ad:
1364--->'''Announcer:''' Magic Potty Baby and her magic potty. No water, no mess.\
1365'''Critic:''' Just pray that doesn't have to [[ToiletHumor go number two]].
1366* The Critic mocking the kid from the construction vehicle toys commercial.
1367-->'''Kid:''' YEAH!\
1368'''Critic:''' YEAH!\
1369'''Kid:''' MOVE!\
1370'''Critic:''' MOVE!\
1371'''Kid:''' GO!\
1372'''Critic:''' GO!\
1373'''Kid:''' [[ItMakesSenseInContext BAKE!]]\
1374'''Critic:''' BAKE! [[DoubleTake What?]]
1375** Also; Critic compares the kid to Creator/SamKinison [[note]]Whom the child in question uncannily sounds like and resembles[[/note]].
1376--->'''Critic (as kid/Sam Kinison):''' "I HAVE TO SUPPORT A WIFE AND KIDS WORKING WITH YOU BOZOS SO LET'S GET IT RIIIIGHT!!!!" (cut to clips of Kinison from the movie, ''Film/BackToSchool'' screaming).
1377* About the picture labeled "Apple Jacks '94" at the end of the Apple Jacks commercial: "Do you think the kids from ''Literature/{{It}}'' did that? Like when they all took that picture together they simply labeled it as the summer of Apple Jacks '54? Y'know, instead of the summer of '''''[[MadnessMantra OH MY GOD A KILLER CLOWN A]] [[PrecisionFStrike FUCKING]] [[MadnessMantra KILLER CLOWN DON'T EVER FORGET THE KILLER CLOWN A KILLER CLOWN]].'''''"
1378* How he mentions the kid from the Giggles cookies commercial is laughing harder than someone stoned off their ass.
1379** "Turn the gas off! TURN THE GAS OFF!!!"
1380* Concerning Chia pets:
1381** "Behold, the most boring thing IN THE ENTIRE [[PrecisionFStrike FRIGGIN']] WORLD!!!"
1382** This :
1383--->'''Kids:''' Chi-chi-chi-Chia!\
1384'''Critic:''' Bu-bu-bu-bullshit!
1385* He has a bout of FridgeLogic regarding the existence of the Popples.
1386-->Why were they playing with a furry, pillow-like ball to begin with? "Hey, you got our basketball? Oh wow, that's a hairy fucker! And it doesn't bounce in the slightest! This'll do us well."
1387* "Ohh, you meant the Nintendo Entertainment System! I thought you meant the Animatronic Horse That Only Eats Toothpaste and Circus Midgets. ...It's very big in Sweden.
1388* Critic's parody of [[WesternAnimation/TheNightmareBeforeChristmas Poor Jack]] is this, a SugarWiki/{{Heartwarming Moment|s}} and a SugarWiki/MomentOfAwesome all in one.
1389* The Critic watching the Micromachine Man, then having everything else seem really slow.
1390-->'''Mom:''' Biiiilllllyyyy, iiiittt's mmooottthhheerrrr...cooommmeeee toooo diinnnnneeerrrrr...."
1391[[/folder]]
1392
1393[[folder:Old vs New: The Ten Commandments vs. The Prince of Egypt]]
1394* God vs. God
1395-->'''Prince of Egypt God:''' I am that I am.\
1396"I'm Popeye the Sailor Man!"
1397* "Moses Moses" and the reference to the ''Film/SuperMarioBros1993'' movie.
1398* At the end, God reminds Critic that He is indeed a vengeful God after the Critic choses the gentler one in ''WesternAnimation/ThePrinceOfEgypt'', and zaps him with a lightning bolt as he tries to sneak away. The Critic's 30-second-long reaction sells it.
1399-->''"[[PreMortemOneLiner YOUR ASS IS GRASS]]."''
1400* Alien Moses. And the theme to ''Series/TheXFiles'' playing in the background!
1401* ''One Moses to Live'' will be right back...
1402[[/folder]]
1403
1404[[folder:The Thief and the Cobbler]]
1405* At the beginning:
1406-->'''Critic:''' The name of the film is "The Thief and the Cobbler... Or, "The Princess and the Cobbler"... Or, "Arabian Knight"?... Or, [[ThisIsGonnaSuck "An Abomination of Assness"]], which is what most people call it.
1407* Creator/VincentPrice and his pre-recorded phone calls to the Critic.
1408** [[TongueTwister Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, toy boat toy boat toy boat, she sells sea shells by the... K-Mart!]]
1409** "Oh, and do look out for that pumpkin." Which prompts the return of [[{{Angrish}} "PUMPKIN?! PUMPKIN, WHAT?!"]]
1410** "[[ItMakesSenseInContext I've planted a time-bomb in your house before it was built.]] [[BlatantLies It's set to go off in fifty seconds]]. You'd better run, big boy."
1411*** "[[OneTwoSkipAFew One, two, skip a few, fifty.]] ''(KABOOM!)'' Heehee, [[WesternAnimation/TheGreatMouseDetective I love it when I'm nasty!]]"
1412* Him describing Tack as looking like "Beetlejuice's Raggedy Ann doll."
1413* The return of the MindFuck montage. The chase scene's DerangedAnimation has the Critic gleefully [[SanitySlippage giving in to the madness]], as Music/HarveyDanger's "Flagpole Sitta" plays. Keep in mind, this is actually a ''positive'' for the Critic, as he continually reminds the audience that the animation by famed Canadian animation Richard Williams is quite good.
1414* "Basically, this film is a product of ANIMATED INBREEDING!"
1415* Critic's [[StylisticSuck parody]] of the unbelievably generic songs in the film. Made even ''funnier'' when you look at the lower left-hand corner and see the words "Directed by [[Film/TheRoom2003 Tommy Wiseau]]".
1416* His note about how all the main characters have names that sound more like a baby learning how to talk, and his enactment that follows:
1417-->'''Critic (as a toddler):''' ''(picture of a tack)'' Tack! ''(picture of a maze)'' Zig-Zag! ''(picture of a slice of pie)'' Yum-yum! ''(picture of the the title card of the movie)'' Shitty fuck fuck, shitty fuck, shit fuck!
1418* Critic's (rather creepy) super head-turn.
1419* The [[Film/StreetFighter OF COURSE! meme]] preempts the Critic's usual line.
1420* This AccidentalInnuendo:
1421-->'''Zigzag:''' Now that I have the balls- \
1422'''[[WesternAnimation/{{Animaniacs}} Yakko]]:''' Good night, everybody!
1423* In the beginning, when the narration says "... whose magic protected it from the evil King One-Eye and his army of darkness...", a clip from the ''Film/ArmyOfDarkness'' shows up.
1424* Critic wondering what in the heck the power of the 3 golden balls could be...
1425-->''(The 3 balls turn into the [[Anime/DragonBallZ Dragon Balls]] as [[SugarWiki/AwesomeMusic Rock the Dragon]] plays)''\
1426'''Critic:''' ''(dismissive laugh)'' Naw, that can't be it.
1427* "The grass felt soft on my feet, why don't I monologue about that for several hours? The grass is green, a frog is green, I'm sure I can talk about this in great detail somehow."
1428* "[[WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy Butt-scratcher! Butt-scratcher!]]"
1429[[/folder]]
1430
1431[[folder:Waterworld]]
1432* The response to the opening narrative: "Oh great, it's a trailer for another UsefulNotes/AlGore movie."
1433-->"Film/AnInconvenientTruth 2: Somebody Listen to Me!"
1434* [[TechnologyPorn STUFFFFFF!!]]
1435** The best one was where he was playing the ''Franchise/MortalKombat'' theme.
1436** "LET'S GET READY FOR STUUUUUUUUUUFFFF!!"
1437* "FOOD!"
1438* "Next time, it'll be a perm with blonde highlights. ''breathes through his nose** [[FauxHorrific BLONDE HIGHLIGHTS!]]"
1439* How appalled he is that Costner sends Helen down into the water when he should know better than to leave the kid on the raft after completely blowing his location to the Smokers just minutes prior.
1440-->'''Critic:''' Oh look! The Smokers got her! Well, if I didn't know any better, I'd say you're all IDIOTS!
1441** While we're at it, the idiot clock itself was a pretty good crowning moment as well, as it leads right up to this payoff.
1442* It's revealed Enola can't swim:
1443-->'''Critic:''' SHE CAN'T SWIM?! YOU'RE IN A PLACE CALLED WATERWORLD AND YOU CAN'T SWIM?! That's like being in the Arctic and not knowing how to put on a coat! Some things just go without saying!
1444* During the Smokers' highly-choreographed attack on the atoll:
1445-->'''Critic:''' Okay, this is turning into a watershow. Just slap the Universal Studios Florida logo in the corner and the advertising takes care of itself.
1446* [[Series/{{Blackadder}} Hurrah!]]
1447** [[FromBadToWorse Hurroo.]]
1448* How about when the people on the Atoll try to pass off a young woman on Costner?
1449-->"We can look to our own for impregnation, but... too much of that sort of thing gets... undesirable..." ''([[Literature/{{Deliverance}} "Dueling Banjos"]])''
1450* This little gem:
1451-->'''Atoll Chief:''' In the interest of public safety, he is hereby sentenced to recycling!\
1452'''Critic:''' Into WHAT, Creator/KeanuReeves?
1453* Or when Gregor unleashes his flying device...
1454-->'''Gregor:''' I'm sorry! It was an accident!\
1455'''Film/TheWizardOfOz:''' I can't come back, I don't know how it works! Goodbye folks!
1456* The loop of [[TheScrappy Enola]] getting punched.
1457* The Goofy yell added to when the Mariner gets whiplashed off his own boat.
1458* [[OhCrap "AAAAAAAAAH!"]] [[OhCrap "AAAAAAAAAH!"]] [[{{Callback}} "Ba-bomb!"]]
1459* Critic using his little kid voice to make Creator/SamuelLJackson sound more badass in ''Film/PulpFiction'' like Enola's attempt to make Costner's character sound more badass;
1460-->'''Critic:''' His fro can block out the light of a thousand suns, his teeth can take out the biggest of Kahuna burgers and his constant use of the [[NWordPrivileges N-Word]] makes my mommy so angry but he's so worth the R-rating ''(Jackson fires a gun)'' Ahhh!\
1461'''Jules:''' I'm sorry, did I break your concentration?
1462* His response to Costner's DullSurprise.
1463-->'''Costner:''' ''(dully)'' My boat.\
1464'''Critic:''' ''(monotone)'' [[Film/PlanetOfTheApes1968 You maniacs. You blew it all up. Damn you. Damn you all to hell.]]
1465* "They meet up with a drifter who I swear to God is played by a perverted Creator/RobinWilliams."
1466[[/folder]]
1467
1468[[folder:Little Monsters]]
1469* Return of the SCARY SLOW-MO!
1470* The "over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder".
1471* THAT'S PAZUZU!
1472* The montage song: "An eighties montage fixes everything! Except when you show people eating! What the hell? I thought this was an eighties montage! All of a sudden it just kinda stopped. Shouldn't we be seeing some stuff? Cut against other stuff, oh wait here we go! We're back to the eiiighties montage! Now the buildup can finally begin. Oh wait, I guess it's over now. Boy, that was pretty fucking lame."
1473* Annoying Supernatural Fast Talking Dick Club.
1474** Critic's part-utterly horrified, part-insane smile when they all talk at once, as he slowly reaches to put his gun in his mouth.
1475-->'''Voice:''' POINT MADE. \
1476'''Critic:''' ''(puts gun down)'' Oh thank GOD!
1477* "What goes on down there is every kid's fantasy!"
1478-->'''Critic:''' Oh, you mean a naked [[Franchise/TeenageMutantNinjaTurtles April O'Neil]] covered in whipped cream and chocolate sauce? ''({{beat}})'' I'm an early bloomer, so WHAT?!
1479* [[DudeNotFunny His reaction]] to the consequences of children getting yelled at for the pranks [[{{Jerkass}} Brian and Maurice]] pulled off. [[RefugeInAudacity "Why not just show their beatings?]] [[AbusiveParents Oh, look! This one's getting the belt!"]]
1480* [[WhatTheHellHero Because]] [[{{Jerkass}} you're]] AWFUL!
1481* Little Monsters, [[CrapSaccharineWorld Because god hates you!]]
1482* He does admit to one ActuallyPrettyFunny scene, when the girl's "[[PrecisionFStrike Holy shit!]]" reaction to Brian vanishing under the bed is precisely how ''anyone'' would react to that sight.
1483* "I want my BROTHER!!!"
1484* "As well as some [[Film/{{Waterworld}} FOOD!!]]"
1485* After noting that Howie Mandel is, for the second time, playing a monster that's allergic to light:
1486-->'''Critic:''' Does it have to be written in Howie Mandel's contract that ever single character he plays is allergic to bright light? Are bright lights part of his OCD? Does he have some kind of paranoia against them? Seriously, what would happen if he stepped in bright light?
1487-->'''[[Literature/TheTwilightSaga Bella]]:''' [[BishieSparkle It's like diamonds!]]
1488[[/folder]]
1489
1490[[folder:Rover Dangerfield]]
1491* This line from the beginning of the video.
1492-->'''Critic:''' It's the greatest time of the year, Christmas. Christmas has everything you could possibly need; Santa, snow, presents, [[BreadEggsMilkSquick Zod]].
1493* His version of Rodney talking about the film with Creator/HaroldRamis:
1494-->'''Critic:''' Hey, Harold! I got this great idea for a kid's movie! It's me as a dog!\
1495'''Harold Ramis:''' [[Film/{{Ghostbusters 1984}} I think that would be extraordinarily dangerous.]]\
1496'''Critic:''' Glad you like it! Bye! Ho ho!
1497* Any comment on the incessant [[OneLiner one-liners!]]
1498** The ''Series/{{Jeopardy}}'' bit when he wants us to guess the one-liner.
1499--->'''Critic:''' In fact, I'm not even gonna tell you the one-liner. No, I want you to just look at this scenario and tell me the worst possible joke that you can think up. Good luck. Well, let's look at your answers. No, there's no point in looking at the answer, because I know you all got the same fucking answer. So everybody in the whole goddamn world say on the count of three what exactly the joke is! 1, 2, 3! "I'M TURNING INTO A CORNDOG!" FUCK YOU MOVIE! FUCK YOU!
1500* "GO FARM EQUIPMENT!"
1501* Straight after the first time delivers a series of bad one-liners.
1502-->'''Critic:''' Yeeeaah, um... ''how'' many more one-liners are there in this movi--?\
1503'''Caption:''' 3,422\
1504'''Critic:''' ''(voice cracking) OH, GOD!!''
1505* "[[TemptingFate It could be worse.]] I mean this is a kid's film they could be singing a song right now--NO NO NO NO NO NO!"
1506-->'''Critic:''' All in favor of skipping this song say "Fuck off!"\
1507'''Audience:''' "FUCK OFF!"\
1508'''Critic:''' Thank you!
1509* The bit with [[Film/TheLordOfTheRings Treebeard]] about the amount of trees used to make the film. The sign saying "For WesternAnimation/RoverDangerfield" and the EarWorm song playing in the background at realization makes it 100 times funnier.
1510* The "The End" title cards
1511* The Audience reaction to the [[BlackComedyBurst scene where the turkey dies and Rover desperately tries to convince the farmer otherwise]].
1512* Comparing Rover to the VideoGame/DuckHunt [[TheScrappy Dog]].
1513* The Critic saying that whenever Rover tells a one-liner, it feels like the character is reaching out of the screen and slapping him. We then see Rover tell another one-liner, then proceeding to reach out of the screen and slap the Critic.
1514* When the kid reads Rover's name off the dog's red tie: "At least it says so on his Nostalgia Critic tie!"
1515* Comedians who could be in bad animated spinoffs:
1516** Red Creator/RobinWilliams, Creator/AndrewDiceClay, The Creator/ChrisRock, [[Creator/EddieIzzard Eddie Lizard]], and [[Creator/PennAndTeller Pen & Teller]]
1517** "Yeah, they're shit! But they're still better than this fucking crap!" What's also funny is that he's acting like one of those awful art students, the ones who do great work in under five minutes, call it crap and make their peers seethe with jealousy.
1518* This exchange.
1519-->'''Farmer:''' This is hard for me Rover, but you've taken a life.\
1520'''Critic (as Farmer):''' A life that... we were gonna take ''anyway''. Um... but, um...\
1521'''[[Film/WarriorsOfVirtue Elysia]]:''' IT WAS A LIFE!\
1522'''Critic (as Farmer):''' Yeah, what she said!
1523** And just before it...
1524-->'''Farmer:''' Rover, I wish we spoke the same language...
1525-->'''Critic:''' Oh, what, you don't speak Badjokeese?
1526* This moment:
1527-->'''Critic:''' Can somebody explain why the sheep ended up in the tree?\
1528'''Graham Chapman:''' [[Series/MontyPythonsFlyingCircus These sheep are laboring under the misapprehension that they are birds. Notice how they do not so much fly as plummet.]]
1529* The ShoutOut to WebVideo/TheNostalgiaChick's review of ''Film/{{Showgirls}}''. "Doesn't she know that everybody got AIDS and shit?"
1530* "You'll curse the day you ever messed with the easily excitable Pussy Gang!"
1531* After the Critic says that Rover's reaction to his master coming to pick him up is, "of course, [[TearJerker heartbreaking]]":
1532-->'''Boy:''' Dad's gonna bring the pick-up around and take you to the airport.\
1533''(Rover jumps around and dances joyfully until he sees Daisy)''\
1534'''Critic:''' ... [[{{Jerkass}} What an asshole]].
1535* "Heh-hey, looks like I ''did'' end with a bang!"
1536* "What's next, [[TemptingFate a Nostalgia Kitten?"]]
1537-->'''Nostalgia Kitten:''' A ''CAT'' CREDIT CARD??!!! Eh? Eh? ''(is shot; VideoGame/DuckHunt dog appears with a sub-machine gun and laughs)''
1538** "No respect at all."
1539[[/folder]]
1540
1541[[folder:You're A Rotten Dirty Bastard - A Christmas Special]]
1542* '''Bargo (as [[strike:[[Series/FraggleRock Wembley]]]] Giggles):''' ...and that's when Film/MaryPoppins had an abortion, and later she became a revolutionary!
1543* The different variations of the reviewers: WebVideo/TheCinemaSnob as the world's greatest porn star; [[WebVideo/AtopTheFourthWall Linkara]] as head of [[Creator/DCComics DC]] ''and'' [[Creator/MarvelComics Marvel]]; WebVideo/TheNostalgiaChick as a mother of one, happily married to the child's stay-at-home dad, whilst also having become the most respected director in cinema today (She remarks that she can call her ''[[Literature/TheTwilightSaga Twilight]]'' remake ''"Twilight: The Good Version"'' simply because she's directing), with a close friendship & working relationship with Nella to boot; [[WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment Spoony]] as the Nostalgia Critic beloved even by [[StrawFan Douchey McNitpick]]; and [[WebVideo/TheAngryJoeShow Angry Joe]] as the President Of United States. WebVideo/{{Phelous}}, however, gets killed when Joe blows up Canada. The Nostalgia Critic's reactions seal the whole deal.
1544** Ask That Guy is much nicer and well-adjusted without the Critic around. Even though he still loves hookers, of course.
1545** Roger and the Critic TemptingFate after seeing Joe's alternate future.
1546--->'''Roger:''' Oh, come on! These can't possibly be as bad as Joe being the President of the United States.\
1547'''Critic:''' I suppose you're right. I mean, it can't get any worse.\
1548(''Spoony's alternate future'')\
1549'''Spoony:''' Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it so you don't have to. (''Insert present-Critic's [[ScreamsLikeALittleGirl girly scream]]'')
1550* "Is this a pep talk? Because let me tell you, it's not helping. Pep talks are supposed to make you feel peppy, not make you want to take a shower with a '''fucking toaster'''!"
1551** The "pep talk" itself, complete with TitleDrop:
1552--->'''Roger:''' See, Critic, you really were a rotten dirty bastard, All the people you came in contact with would have led a better life ''[places his left hand on NC's shoulder]'' if you had never met them at all.
1553* Following the failed pep talk and NC's very angry reaction, Roger is just stumped. He has never met a person so hated as NC. He usually finds at least ''one'' person who misses the person he's working with. "Statistically, this doesn't seem ''possible''!"
1554* The ending, when the Critic insults in turn each of the reviewers who had ''vastly'' better lives simply by not knowing him, and each one makes a retort displaying their hatred for him.
1555-->'''Critic:''' Merry Christmas, you porn-reviewing fucktard!\
1556'''Cinema Snob:''' Blow me!\
1557'''Critic:''' Merry Christmas, you self-righteous activist for anything, you!\
1558'''Nostalgia Chick:''' ''(deadpan)'' I so wish you'd die.\
1559'''Nostalgia Critic:''' Merry Christmas, you pasty comic book-reading ass-magnet, you!\
1560''(Linkara puts down his comic and flips the Critic off)''\
1561'''Nostalgia Critic:''' Merry Christmas, you over-excitable Puerto Rican jumping bean!\
1562'''Angry Joe:''' Oh, I am ''so'' working on a hand grenade with your name on it.\
1563'''Nostalgia Critic:''' Merry Christmas, you pompous reject of everything likable, you!\
1564'''Spoony:''' ''(cheerfully)'' Thanks a lot, I'll see you in hell!
1565* "Hmm...so God lied to me....that seems like a dick move"
1566* Spoony laughing maniacally for seconds straight at the camera. Even funnier when you realize he isn't aware that the Critic and Roger are there, yet he's still pretty much mocking him!
1567* Once the fight scene between Roger and The Critic began. Roger's ability to slide across the ground, stop time to beat up the Critic, and that little tiger-roar when he smiled were too much.
1568** The expressions on NC's face are the cherry on top.
1569* The ending.
1570-->'''Santa Christ:''' Ho ho ho! So as you see, boys and girls, the moral of the story is...\
1571''(Santa Christ proceeds to look around the room blankly for three or four seconds, and the credits roll)''
1572* Good god, the bloopers. Doug and Rob turning Santa Christ into an anti-semite, Nostalgia Spoony laughing madly until he falls out of his chair, then completing his impression the only way possible:
1573-->'''Spoony:''' A BAT CREDIT CARD? NOOOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOOO! DOES NOT COMPUTE!!!
1574** Speaking of impressions, Spoony's incredibly exaggerated take on the Critic's opening CatchPhrase followed by...
1575--->'''Doug:''' You're an asshole.
1576** The multiple takes of Snob's "blow me" line.
1577--->'''Brad:''' And that was my day.\
1578'''Jillian:''' You really want him to blow you.
1579* Spoony laughing hysterically [[OverlyLongGag for a really long time.]] Finally he stops and catches his breath.
1580-->'''Spoony:''' Almost lost my goddamn mind for a minute there!
1581* When Doug cracked up at Ma-Ti saying, "But Critic, you can't leave!", Doug: "Sorry, it's the voice."
1582[[/folder]]
1583
1584[[folder:Raiders of the Story Arc: TMNT]]
1585* The pull-string action figure of Dennis Miller, and the lines he says throughout the review.
1586* The "Ninja Movie Week" bit
1587-->'''Announcer:''' This week on... [[Creator/{{Syfy}} See Fee]]? S-Y-F-Y? Eh, Um, [[Wrestling/WWESmackDown that wrestling channel]].
1588* The first shot of April O'Neill.
1589--> "Oh, I just remembered [[MaleGaze the reasons]] I love her so much: [[BuxomBeautyStandard one on the left, and one on the right]]."
1590* [[HotSkittyOnWailordAction TURTLE SQUEEZE]]
1591* This exchange:
1592-->'''Shredder:''' Tonight I dine on turtle soup!\
1593'''[[Series/TheFreshPrinceOfBelAir Uncle]] [[ActorAllusion Phil:]]''' [[MemeticMutation ...with pillowy mounds of mashed potatoes...]]
1594* How Shredder, having known where the Turtles' headquarters were as early as episode 5, [[WhyDontYouJustShootHim could've just destroyed them and the series would be over]].
1595-->'''Michelangelo:''' Alright, dudes! Let's go find the Shred--\
1596''(the Technodrome smashes through the wall and crushes the Turtles flat)''
1597* "Turtles fight with X!" or "Turtles X with honor!", in reference to Donatello's completely out-of-the-blue and out-of-context battle cry.
1598* The look of despair that creeps over the Critic's face when he realizes that [[{{Creator/Nickelodeon}} unlike his other]] [[Creator/ArnoldSchwarzenegger January-month specials,]] [[{{Sequelitis}} this is going]] [[ThisIsGonnaSuck to suck.]]
1599* When the turtles' flying car stops running and Donatello determines that the fuel consists of plutonium:
1600-->'''[[DeadpanSnarker Raphael]]:''' How terrific. Maybe we can get a tow to the nearest plutonium station.\
1601'''[[Film/BackToTheFuture1 Marty McFly]]:''' Y-You don't just walk into a store and buy plutonium!
1602* The Critic wondering how on earth they were able to drive the Turtle-Van underground to the Technodrome.
1603** "And to your right, you'll see a giant Lego igloo."
1604* The Critic's reaction upon realizing that the characters didn't care about the many likely deaths when April's apartment building collapsed:
1605-->'''Critic:''' Oh my God, the loss of innocent life! Lord knows how many innocent families were in there and now are suddenly ''[sobbing]'' de-ea-ea-ead! Oh my God! The impact this must have on our heroes!\
1606'''April:''' Boy, they sure don't build 'em like they used to!\
1607''[the Critic stares aghast for a [[{{Beat}} moment]]]''\
1608'''Critic:''' Inconsiderate '''BITCH!''' What the hell would you say if you just saw the Hindenburg disaster? '[[MemeticMutation Uh-oh! Spaghetti-O's!]]'...'''[[BerserkButton THE FUCK'S WRONG WITH YOU?!]]'''\
1609''[An image of April appears with the words and condemning vocal "YOU ARE A TERRIBLE PERSON" over the top.]''
1610* This bit, which involves an old lady being scared by the turtles:
1611-->'''Critic:''' OK; we all know this gag. The woman overreacts and runs away screaming while ''(the old lady pulls out a machinegun and points it at the turtles and April)'' '''HOLY SHIT!'''
1612-->'''Old Lady:''' One twitch and you're history, scum! Now back off, nice and easy!\
1613'''Critic (imitating the lady):''' Moses from ''Film/{{Planet of the Apes|1968}}'' says it's my right to own one of those things and BY GOD I'm going to exercise that right!
1614* When April is kidnapped by some Foot soldiers:
1615-->'''Critic:''' All right, sending camera crew to hmm-hmm-hmm. By any chance, is that off of "'''HEEEEEEEEEELLLLLP!'''" Street?
1616* His reaction to episode 2's title.
1617* "... This one begins with Donatello putting together the Turtle Van, because, as we heard in the opening, Donatello does machines." ''(picture of [[WesternAnimation/TheJetsons Rosie]])'' "[[ThatCameOutWrong No, not like that.]] I... You're gross."
1618* The Critic mocks the exterminator who refused to buy Baxter Stockman's mousers:
1619-->'''Exterminator''': Get rid of all rats, huh? What are you crazy?! You wanna drive me out of business?!\
1620'''Critic imitating the exterminator''': [[SarcasmMode You wanna make me a millionaire?]] [[DidntThinkThisThrough Richest exterminator in the world?]] WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?!"
1621* This:
1622--> '''Burne''': Four green maniacs are running loose in this town, and you haven’t brought me... [[GoshDangItToHeck diddly-squat!]]\
1623'''Critic''': Whoa, hey, watch the language, pal!\
1624''(slow motion replay of "Diddly-squat")''\
1625'''Critic''': Any further, and we'd be in "fiddle-dee-dee" territory.
1626[[/folder]]

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