Line #149 Funny/TheMuppetChristmasCarol


1	* The opening, where a horse-drawn cart full of sentient melons rolls by, all shouting that they're being stolen.
2	* Gonzo and Rizzo introducing themselves to the audience, after arguing over Rizzo eating the apples they were selling:
3	-->'''Gonzo:''' Hello. Welcome to ''[[TitleDrop The Muppet Christmas Carol]]''. I am here to tell the story.\
4	'''Rizzo:''' And I am here for the food.
5	* From the opening scene, when Rizzo doesn't believe Gonzo is Creator/CharlesDickens. Gonzo says he must be Dickens because he knows the story like he knows the back of his hand. When Rizzo asks him to prove it, Gonzo turns away and [[LiteralMetaphor starts describing the features on the back of his hand.]]
6	-->'''Rizzo:''' Don't tell us your ''hand'', tell us the ''story''.
7	* The "Scrooge" song ends with Scrooge turning around and giving the assembled crowd a DeathGlare prompting them to break it up and go about their business.
8	* The scene with CanonForeigner Mr. Applegate is hilarious in a CrossesTheLineTwice sort of way. As Applegate is tearfully explaining why he can't pay his mortgage, Scrooge doesn't even reply as he silently marches over, picks him up, and ''throws'' him from the building without so much as a blink. It's implied that this is [[UnusuallyUninterestingSight so commonplace]] in the office that no one even notices the severity any more. The cap is that Mr. Applegate repeatedly begged Scrooge not to yell at him, so as the door is closing...
9	-->'''Mr. Applegate''': THANK YOU FOR NOT SHOUTING AT ME!
10	* This [[BlackComedy horrific gem]] of a line from Scrooge:
11	-->'''Scrooge''': Let us deal with the eviction notices for tomorrow.\
12	'''Cratchit''': But sir, tomorrow is Christmas!\
13	'''Scrooge''': Very well. [[CrossesTheLineTwice You may giftwrap them.]]
14	* The book-keeping Rats who work for Scrooge, immediately after complaining to Scrooge about how cold it is:
15	-->'''Ebenezer Scrooge''': How would the bookkeepers like to be suddenly... '''[[SuddenlyShouting UNEMPLOYED?!]]'''\
16	'''Rats''': [''suddenly wearing tropical outfits''] HEAT WAVE! [''singing''] Arriba! This is my island in the sun... Oi, oi!
17	** As well as this line when the bookkeeping Rats applaud Fred.
18	---> '''Scrooge''': And how does one celebrate Christmas '''ON THE UNEMPLOYMENT LINE?!?'''
19	** Later, when Bob approaches Scrooge to ask for Christmas Day off, the bookkeepers all stand behind him in support and vocally agree with him. Scrooge initially reacts with annoyance at the request, so [[DirtyCoward the bookkeepers]] immediately withdraw their support; one can be heard saying, "It was the frog's idea." When Bob makes some good arguments and Scrooge gradually comes around to the day off, the Rats flip back to supporting Bob.
20	* Fred manages to get several good jabs in at his uncle's expense.
21	** When he first wishes Scrooge a Merry Christmas:
22	---> '''Scrooge''': Merry Christmas, you say? What right have you to be merry? You're poor enough.
23	---> '''Fred''': What right have you to be dismal? You're rich enough.
24	** When Bunsen and Beaker arrive to ask for a donation, [[{{Troll}} Fred]] warmly invites them in and calls his uncle a "[[BlatantLies jolly old gentleman]]" who is very generous to charities. Scrooge practically snarls in response.
25	---> '''Scrooge''': I do not make merry myself for Christmas--
26	---> '''Fred''': That certainly is true.
27	---> '''Scrooge''': And I cannot afford to make idle people merry.
28	---> '''Fred''': That is certainly ''not'' true.
29	* Scrooge receives a wreath from his nephew, but takes it down and his frustration gets worse when Bean Bunny sings a carol outside his door. Scrooge refuses to give Bean Bunny a penny for singing and slams the door in his face. However, he reopens the door and Bean Bunny thinks Scrooge has changed his mind, only for Scrooge to throw the wreath onto him and slams the door again. He then turns to his employees, who saw the whole thing, but they hastily return to their work as though nothing happened. That doesn't stop them from giving him a nasty look (when his back is turned) implying they wanted to stick up for Bean Bunny but know that doing so can cost them their jobs.
30	** A small detail, but when Scrooge opens the door to find the offending caroler, he looks left and right before looking down and seeing Bean. It was like he was expecting to find someone closer to his size at the door.
31	* Scrooge getting startled by his dressing robe, thinking it was an intruder. He threw it to the floor and starts hitting it with his cane.
32	* The Marleys are happy to heckle Dickens's writing itself.
33	-->'''Scrooge:''' Yes. There's more of gravy than of grave about you.\
34	'''Robert Marley''': "More of gravy than of grave"?\
35	'''Jacob Marley''': [[LamePunReaction What a terrible pun]]. Where'd you get those jokes?\
36	'''Robert Marley''': [[LeaningOnTheFourthWall Leave comedy to the bears, Ebenezer]].
37	** The NightmareRetardant arrival of the Marleys.
38	--->'''Robert Marley:''' ''(points to Scrooge)'' Look, it's Ebenezer Scrooge!\
39	''[Scrooge tries to hide behind his chair]''\
40	'''Jacob Marley:''' Getting older and more wicked than ever!\
41	'''Robert Marley:''' I ''knew'' he wouldn't disappoint us!\
42	''[They laugh.]''
43	* While the Marleys' song and visit is mostly NightmareFuel, Scrooge's line afterwards is comic relief:
44	-->'''Robert:''' You will be haunted by 3 spirits!\
45	'''Scrooge:''' Haunted!? I've already had enough of that!\
46	'''Jacob:''' Without these visits, you cannot hope to avoid the path ''we tread!''\
47	'''Robert:''' Expect the first ghost tonight when the bell tolls 1!\
48	'''Scrooge:''' Can't I meet them all at once and get it over with?
49	** The extended version of that scene has this line from when Scrooge is chained up.
50	--->'''Scrooge:''' Please, can't we go back to being funny?
51	* Gonzo uses Rizzo to wipe the soot off a window, to which Rizzo says "[[DeadpanSnarker Thank you for making me a part of this.]]"
52	** And just before that, Gonzo pauses when he notices just how filthy it is. "Boy, this really is a dirty city!"
53	* The part where Gonzo gets knocked off a carriage, and Rizzo's concerned for him before he wakes up and continues his narration.
54	-->'''Rizzo:''' Gonzo speak to me! I mean uh... Mr. Dickens! Charlie! Are ya hurt?\
55	'''Gonzo:''' [''sits up''] To say that Scrooge was not startled would be untrue. Still, the moment had passed and the world was as it should be.\
56	'''Rizzo:''' He ain't hurt. Didn't even break his concentration!\
57	'''Gonzo:''' Hm?\
58	'''Rizzo:''' Nuttin.
59	* Most of the scenes with Gonzo and Rizzo tend to leave audiences roaring in laughter.
60	-->'''Rizzo:''' Hey, hey, hey, light the lamp, not the rat, '''LIGHT THE LAMP, NOTTHERAT'''! What are you doing?! Put me out, put me out '''PUT ME OUT'''!\
61	'''Gonzo:''' Opps, my apologies. Ah, er, um-- [''spots a bucket of icy water''] Rizzo!\
62	'''Rizzo:''' ''WHAT?!'' [''Gonzo pushes him off the lamp''] AAAAAAAA-- [''Rizzo splash-lands in the bucket and surfaces, obviously freezing''] Th-th-thank you.\
63	'''Gonzo:''' You're welcome!\
64	[''Rizzo defeatedly shiver-sinks back into the water.'']
65	** Then, after a brief shot of Gonzo trying to fish Rizzo out of the water, we have a scene where Gonzo is carrying a Rizzo-shaped block of ice on a stick. After being briefly distracted by a chicken, Gonzo knocks the ice against a barrel, breaking Rizzo free.
66	--->'''Rizzo:''' ''(Annoyed)'' I suppose I should be ''grateful'' for that.\
67	'''Gonzo:''' ''(Cheerily)'' You're welcome!
68	* Another one with Gonzo and Rizzo, with Rizzo about to jump off the top of Scrooge's house gate:
69	-->'''Rizzo''': Oh, God save my little broken body. GAAAAAAAAAAAA-- [''thud''] [''glares at Gonzo, who was supposed to catch him''].\
70	'''Gonzo''': [''shrug''] Missed.\
71	'''Rizzo''': Ugh... ooh, ooh, wait second--I forgot my jellybeans! [''slips between the bars of the fence'']\
72	'''Gonzo''': [''{{Beat}}''] You can fit through those bars?\
73	'''Rizzo''': [''looks to bars, looks to Gonzo''] Yeah?\
74	'''Gonzo''': [''sighing''] You are such an idiot.\
75	'''Rizzo:''' [[DefensiveWhat What?]]
76	* Right before that...
77	-->'''Rizzo''': Jelly bean? ''[offers]'' I had 'em in my pocket all along.\
78	'''Gonzo''': [''groans'']\
79	'''Rizzo''': What? [''awkward pause as Gonzo stares in disbelief... [[IntimateHealing then Rizzo leans in and quickly kisses Gonzo's nose]]'']
80	* Rizzo expresses concern that part of this film could be [[NightmareFuel too scary]] [[WhatDoYouMeanItsForKids for kids]]. Gonzo replies cheerily, "Nah, it's all right, this is culture!"
81	* Gonzo's nonchalant attitude to putting himself and Rizzo in danger (undoubtedly a reference to his daredevil past), from putting Rizzo on his head while ice skating to enjoying being knocked to the ground from Scrooge's multi-story window culminates in this lovely exchange when Gonzo throws a rope to grab onto Scrooge and follow him into the past:
82	-->'''Rizzo''': What are we doing?!\
83	'''Gonzo''': [''calmly''] Nothing.\
84	'''Rizzo''': What?!\
85	'''Gonzo''': Oh, just hold on.
86	** Followed by a wild flight over London, where Gonzo's loving every moment and Rizzo is absolutely terrified.
87	--->'''Gonzo:''' Whee-hee-hee! ''HELLO, LONDON!''\
88	'''Rizzo:''' ''GOODBYE, LUUUUUNCH!''
89	** Scrooge gets a lovely line, too:
90	--->'''Scrooge:''' Spirit?\
91	'''Christmas Past:''' Yes?\
92	'''Scrooge:''' ...nothing.
93	** As they fly into the past:
94	--->'''Gonzo:''' Look! It's beautiful, Rizzo!\
95	'''Rizzo:''' '''''[[IWantMyMommy MOOOOOOOMMMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!]]'''''
96	* After [[ItMakesSenseInContext dragged through the woods by the Ghost of Christmas Past]] Gonzo and Rizzo safely land... right in front of a cat.
97	-->'''Rizzo:''' That was the worst trip of my life.\
98	'''Gonzo:''' Well, it's over now.\
99	'''Rizzo''': [''sighing in relief''] [[TemptingFate Yeah. Safe at last.]]\
100	'''Cat''': [''[[EnemyRisingBehind behind him]]''] ''Meow''.\
101	'''Rizzo''': [''[[ThisIsGonnaSuck turns around, sees the cat, then turns back to the camera and shakes his head]]''] [[LittleNo No.]] [''is then chased by the cat'']\
102	\
103	'''Gonzo:''' ''(As Rizzo runs around [[BrokenRecord repeatedly screaming "Help me! Save me!"]])'' Rizzo! Will you stop playing with the cat?
104	* During the Christmas Past section, Gonzo and Rizzo are watching a lonely-looking young Scrooge.
105	-->'''Rizzo:''' [''sighs''] Rats don't understand these things.\
106	'''Gonzo:''' You were never a lonely child?\
107	'''Rizzo:''' I had [[MassiveNumberedSiblings twelve hundred and seventy-four brothers and sisters]]!\
108	'''Gonzo:''' Geesh, rats ''don't'' understand these things.
109	* Sam the Eagle stands in as young Scrooge's mentor, hammering in the concept of penny-pinching to exclusion of all else. He ends with this gem:
110	--> '''Sam:''' You will love... Business! It is the ''American'' Way! ''(young Ebenezer looks confused)''\
111	'''Gonzo:''' Um, Sam? [''whispers''] It's just that the story takes place in England.\
112	'''Sam:''' Oh... it is the ''British'' Way!\
113	'''Gonzo:''' [''whispering'']] ''Good.''
114	** Sam then looks very pleased with his proclamation, before [[LeaningOnTheFourthWall wondering just who the hell was talking to him.]] He looks around, then shakes his head.
115	** Gonzo addresses Sam by name as though they [[AnimatedActor were actors in a movie]].
116	** As the scene fades away, he says, "Remember, don't tip the driver."
117	** It's also funny just how much emphasis Sam puts on the word '''BUSINESS'''.
118	** As Sam lectures Ebenezer, he tells him that if he builds his life on his advice, "Your life will be as solid as this very building." [[GilliganCut Cue the shelf on which Gonzo and Rizzo sit breaking and falling down]].
119	--->'''Sam''': Hmm. I've been meaning to fix that shelf.
120	* This hilarious CallBack when Scrooge and the Ghost of Christmas Past visit Fezziwig's annual Christmas ball.
121	-->'''Fezziwig/Fozzie:''' Welcome to Fozziwig and Mom's Annual Christmas Party. At this time, it's a tradition for me to make a little speech.\
122	'''Jacob Marley/Statler:''' And it's a tradition for us to take a little nap!\
123	'''Fezziwig/Fozzie:''' [''as everyone laughs''] Pay no attention to them! [''takes out a paper''] Here is the speech: Thank you all, and Merry Christmas!\
124	'''Jacob/Statler:''' That was the speech?\
125	'''Robert Marley/Waldorf''': It was dumb!\
126	'''Jacob/Statler:''' It was obvious!\
127	'''Robert/Waldorf''': It was pointless!\
128	'''Jacob/Statler:''' It was... short.\
129	[''{{Beat}}'']\
130	'''Marleys:''' I loved it! HA HA HA HA!!!!
131	** The fact that Fozzie plays Fezziwig and is called Fozziwig in this adaptation is absolutely hilarious.
132	** The factory Fozziwig runs is a rubber chicken factory.
133	* Fozzie attempting to get everyone's attention during the Christmas Past scene but no luck. Then Animal walks up, looks at the camera, and shouts "QUIET!!!!!" After that, he says "Thank you.". Then he defeatedly plays a triangle for part of the party, before he breaks out his drums.
134	** This is actually a repeat of a gag from the Diana Ross episode of ''Series/TheMuppetShow''. The audience is loudly booing Beaker's performance of "Feelings", and Animal steps out from behind the drums and says the exact same words.
135	* This exchange is both cute and silly.
136	-->'''Scrooge:''' You're a little absent-minded, Spirit.\
137	'''Christmas Present:''' No, I'm a '''large''' absent-minded Spirit!\
138	'''Scrooge''': (''[[ActuallyPrettyFunny chuckles]]'')
139	* Christmas Present has just explained that he has over 1800 brothers (the story takes place in the mid-1800s, [[DontExplainTheJoke which means there's been that many Christmases since Jesus was born]]). Scrooge smiles and quips "Imagine the grocery bills!" Christmas Present [[ActuallyPrettyFunny laughs along]].
140	* A blooper during The Ghost of Christmas Present's song has him accidentally beaning Caine in the face. There is a "boink" sound effect added when it happens.
141	* When Rizzo falls through a chimney, Gonzo has this to say:
142	-->'''Gonzo''': I knew you weren't suited for literature.
143	** Rizzo then lands on the Cratchit family's goose that is still roasting on a spit.
144	--->'''Rizzo:''' Well, at least I landed on something soft… AND '''HOT!''' ''(rapidly steps on the goose back and forth)'' OOH! OOH! OW! OW! HOT! HOT! HOT!
145	** Later when Mr. Dickens (Gonzo) enters and finds Rizzo trying to cool his burnt feet:
146	--->'''Rizzo:''' ''(blows on his feet)'' I fell down the chimney and landed on a flaming hot goose!\
147	'''Gonzo:''' ''(dejected)'' You have ''all'' the fun.\
148	''(Rizzo glares at him)''\
149	'''Gonzo:''' What?\
150	''(Rizzo groans)''
151	* When the Ghost Of Christmas Present takes Scrooge to his nephew Fred's house, Rizzo takes notice of a bowl of fruit and starts eating. Soon...
152	-->'''Gonzo:''' Say, you know that fruit is wax?\
153	'''Rizzo:''' Oh, yeah... I wondered about the texture... [''starts spitting'']
154	* Emily Cratchit's inability to tell her own daughters apart after Belinda catches her scarfing down the roasted chestnuts:
155	-->'''Belinda:''' Mother! Mother! Mother! I thought you said we couldn't eat the chestnuts until Father and Tiny Tim get home.\
156	'''Miss Piggy/Emily:''' I wasn't eating them, I was merely checking them to see if they are not burnt. It's a chef's thing dear. And do not shout, Bettina.\
157	'''Belinda:''' I'm ''Belinda''!\
158	'''Bettina:''' [''pops into frame''] ''I'm'' Bettina!\
159	'''Miss Piggy/Emily:''' Of course you are... [''looks back and forth at twins before settling on Belinda''] ..uh.. uh.. Bettina?\
160	'''Belinda:''' ''Belinda.''\
161	'''Miss Piggy/Emily:''' Whatever.\
162	'''Both Girls:''' ''Hmph!''
163	** The fact that, despite her otherwise accurate period costume, Piggy's wearing her customary pink satin gloves and pearl necklace. [[AnimatedActors Presumably, Piggy refused to take them off to play the character.]]
164	* Emily Crachit/Miss Piggy mugging the mirror while her children are preparing dinner and answering her son's comment about how good the goose smells.
165	-->'''Peter''': It smells so good, Mother!\
166	'''Emily Crachit/Miss Piggy''': It ''doooooes'', doesn't it!
167	* The way the film sets up the Yet to come sequence to be played straight and without any comedy:
168	--> '''Rizzo''': This is too scary. I don't think I want to watch anymore.
169	--> '''Gonzo/Charles Dickens''': Oh, when you're right, you're right. You're on your own, folks. We'll meet you at the finale.
170	* As the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come directs Scrooge through the graveyard there's a very brief moment where he tries to go to a ''different'' headstone and looks back for affirmation, but it's obvious from the look on his face that he ''knows'' exactly where they're headed, that was never going to work, and he returns to the indicated course.
171	* After waking up in his room, Scrooge is celebrating that he can change his life and that he is back home again. He looks at himself in the mirror while still giddy, makes a brief noise of disgust at his gray hair, and then continues merrily on.
172	* When Bean runs off to get the turkey for Scrooge, he runs into Gonzo and Rizzo, knocking them over as Gonzo narrates.
173	-->'''Gonzo/Charles Dickens''': And so, the boy was off like a shot, so eager-\
174	''(Bean collides into Gonzo and Rizzo)''\
175	'''Bean''': Um, sorry! ''[runs off]''
176	* A singing and skipping through London Creator/MichaelCaine at the end.
177	* During "Thankful Heart" Scrooge brings gifts and greetings to Fred and his wife. Fred has this wonderful dumbfounded look on his face the whole time even as his wife smiles with happiness.
178	* The irony in Scrooge's gift for his bookkeeping rats. What's the thing that naughty people get at Christmas? Coal. What did the bookkeeping rats want more than anything? Coal for the fire at work. This is probably the only time in history when coal was actually what someone ''wanted'' for Christmas.
179	** On that note, in the commentary the creators relate a funny story from the screenings. A few children asked what the bookkeepers did wrong to get coal at the end. It had completely slipped the writers' minds that Santa gives bad children coal in their stockings!
180	* Scrooge visiting the Cratchits at the end and Miss Piggy's brilliant {{double take}}.
181	-->'''Scrooge:''' Therefore, I am about to ''raise your '''salary!'''''\
182	'''Emily/Miss Piggy:''' OOOHH! And I am about to raise you right off the pavement and onto the- pardon?
183	* As sweet as Gonzo's emphasis on "Tiny Tim, who did NOT die," is, you can tell it's also a little desperate in trying to assure any kids in the theater unfamiliar with the story -- "okay, okay, don't cry, everyone, he's all right".
184	** The exaggeration is also a cheeky nod to the fact that the assurance originates from Dickens himself.
185	* In the crawl, there's a credit for "Rizzo’s Personal Caterer".
186	* From the blooper reel: Gonzo and Rizzo mistake the plaster bust of Shakespeare for Frank Oz.
187	-->'''Rizzo:''' [''looks at the bust''] Hey -- it's Frank Oz!\
188	'''Gonzo:''' Hi, Frank -- Whoa, they've coated him with plaster!\
189	'''Rizzo:''' Wow.\
190	'''Gonzo:''' Frank, speak to us!\
191	[''The bust does not reply'']\
192	'''Rizzo:''' Huh.\
193	'''Gonzo:''' Hello?!\
194	[''The bust still does not reply'']\
195	'''Rizzo:''' ...As usual.
196	* From the blooper reel: Gonzo is swinging his hook, so they can follow Scrooge and the Ghost of Christmas Past. The Hook, however, accidentally impales Gonzo in the head. Rizzo's reaction is ''priceless''.
197	-->'''Gonzo''': ''(after the hook hits him in the head)'' Gohhhhhh... ''(falls over)''\
198	'''Rizzo''': OH! Good God! Medic! Nurse! Oh my God!
199	* Also from the blooper reel: at the intro, after Scrooge walks by.
200	-->'''Rizzo:''' Say, is it gettin' colder out here?\
201	'''Gonzo:''' [''turns around''] ''You'' have been asking me that ''all. Day.''\
202	'''Rizzo:''' I'm sorry!\
203	'''Gonzo:''' [''[[PunctuatedPounding tapping Rizzo with the apple he's holding]]''] And I don't have an answer 'cause it's ''not'' in the script!
204	* An outtake for, of all things, The Cratchets mourning Tiny Tim:
205	-->'''Kermit/Bob''': I am sure we'll never forget Tiny Tim or this first parting that there was among us.\
206	'''Bettina (or Belinda)''': [[IfYouDieICallYourStuff May I have his dinner]]?
207	** It's also funny to note that there's not a single female voice in the entire Cratchet Family: Frank Oz, Dave Goelz, and [[ActingForTwo Steve Whitmire]] supplied the voices for Piggy, Bettina, and Belinda, respectively. One of Bettina's lines even sounds just like Gonzo.
208	* At about 1:39 of [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PvYg0OO5Qy4 this "making of" video]], some behind-the-scenes footage shows Fozzie ''punching'' another Muppet square in the face.
209	* Not from the movie, but in the "Making of" special, Kermit tells the viewer about playing Miss Piggy's husband.
210	-->'''Kermit:''' I just keep telling myself it's only a movie, ''it's only a movie,'' '''''[[MST3KMantra it's only a movie.]]'''''
211	* In the DVD release, Kermit shows up and introduces the main disc menu, suggesting several options the viewer might select. If you wait too long, he gets uncomfortable and walks off, then reappears several times more as time passes, looking increasingly frustrated with you for not just pressing play and getting on with the show.
212

Context Funny / TheMuppetChristmasCarol