Line #8 Funny/TheBeverlyHillbillies


1	[[AC:The Movie]]
2
3	* Jethro and Pearl are driving in the truck to Jed's place. Pearl can't help but notice there seems to be something wrong with the braking system.
4	--> '''Pearl''': Jethro?\
5	'''Jethro''': Yes, Momma?\
6	'''Pearl''': Did you take care of those old bare as bones brakes like I told you?\
7	'''Jethro''': ''[cheerfully]'' 'Course. I pulled 'em off yesterday! ''[{{beat}}]'' The new ones are comin' in the mail next week! (''cue Pearl wailing in terror'')
8	** And the ultimate result: Jethro running the truck right into the Clampetts' outhouse. Three guesses as to who's inside.
9	---> '''Granny''': ''[slapping him]'' You dog-blamed simple-minded hay hoop! Your plum-cluckin' head's emptier'n last year's bird's nest!
10	* Granny (who is currently tied to her rocking chair) getting knocked off of Jethro's car by the tree branch they're driving under.
11	** For those who don't understand why she's tied up, she refused to move with the rest of the family to California and said nobody would move her from her rocking chair, so what does Jed do? He ties [[ExactWords rope around the chair and puts her on the car.]] Doubles as a MythologyGag, as it's taken directly from the series pilot.
12	---> '''Granny''': I like it here! Say what you will, but there ain't nothin' you can do to get me outta this rockin' chair!\
13	''[GilliganCut to:]''\
14	'''Granny''': ''I ain't goin' nowheres! Cut me loose! Jedediah Clampett, I'm gonna skin you alive!''
15	* The Clampetts being flipped off by an irate motorist, and mistaking the gesture for a friendly form of greeting.
16	** Another set of motorists later holler at the Clampetts for cutting them off, to which they respond with a friendly flip-off. The gangbanger in the passenger's seat pulls out a pistol on the Clampetts...
17	---> '''Jed''': ''[looks]'' That's real nice, son! ''[pulls out shotgun]'' This here's what I carry!
18	** ...and the motorists speed away. [[Film/CrocodileDundee Now THAT'S a gun.]] Also counts as a [[SugarWiki/MomentOfAwesome CMoA]].
19	*** What really sells the scene was the [[OhCrapSmile sheepish grin]] the guy wears before telling the driver to floor it.
20	* Mr. Drysdale talking to his high-school son, actually bribing Morgan to escort Elly-May to the preppy high school they'll be attending together. Morgan isn't entirely thrilled about it until:
21	-->'''Drysdale''': Close your eyes. Now, picture this: I cut off your allowance, cancel your credit cards, and delete you from my will. Now, how do you see your future?\
22	'''Morgan''' (making OhCrap noises the whole time): Grilling frozen cow parts at Burger King?\
23	'''Drysdale''' (smiling that his son gets it): And people say you're stupid.
24	** Morgan, convinced he's being bribed to hang out with Elly-May because she'll be this homely redneck, can only [[EatingTheEyeCandy stand in shock]] when finally [[AmazonianBeauty seeing her]] the next morning.
25	* How bullying gets taken care of at a posh preppy high school: Morgan promises the bullies a stock transfer from his overseas accounts to theirs. "''Before'' the close of the business day!" the bully scowls.
26	** Similarly, where some high schools have a snack cart that roams through the locker hallways, this one apparently has a full-fledged mobile coffee machine that regularly hands out cappuccinos.
27	* Jethro discussing his theories on bowling.
28	* Tyler turning the office into a disaster area, while trying to walk to Mr. Drysdale's office.
29	* The gathering of the Clampett relatives contains a little TakeThat.
30	--> '''Clampett Relative''': (''to the reverend'') Reverend, you think Cousin Bill's not gonna be too busy to make it to the wedding?\
31	[[spoiler: '''President Clinton''': (''"[[StandardSnippet Hail to the Chief]]" plays over a shot of the White House'') Hillary]], where did I put that invitation?
32	** It could also be taken as a plug; despite [[spoiler:said president's]] reputation, he can't be ''that'' bad if he's related to sweethearts like the Clampetts.
33	** Just imagine getting stuck on a plane full of Clampett relatives, and two of them start playing "Dueling Banjos"...
34	* Jethro "learnin' Elly May to ride [his] motorcycle" as Jed is meeting with a prospective new wife. The driving changes hands between Elly, Jethro, and ''Granny'' in the same scene, and Granny ends up driving it into the swimming pool.
35	* Woodrow Tyler trying to engage in phone sex with his girlfriend Laura, after she's already managed to con her way into the Clampett estate. She hangs up on him just as he gets going, but right before she does so, Mr. Drysdale phones Tyler on call waiting, and Tyler still thinks he's connected to her. The following exchange happens:
36	-->'''Tyler:''' Okay, so... I've got my hand on your butt and I'm ''squeezing''.\
37	'''Mr. Drysdale:''' '''TYLER!''' ''[Tyler jumps, startled]'' Get your hand ''off'' my butt.
38	* The elderly hillbilly preacher reading from an ancient Bible while performing the wedding ceremony:
39	-->'''Reverend Mason:''' Dearly beloved, we are gathered here in case of an emergency, oxygen masks will fall from the overhead compartment. Your seat cushion can be used as a floatin' device. Thus sayeth the Lord.
40	-->'''Jed Clampett:''' Excuse me, Reverend, but I believe you're reading the airplane safety instructions.
41	* Buddy Ebsen's cameo [[spoiler: as Barnaby Jones! Best crossover punchline ever.]]
42
43	[[AC:The Show]]
44	* Jethro wanted to be (in his words) "an astro-nut", so he created his own space suit. We are introduced to the suit as follows, when Jed and Granny are discussing his current obsession:
45	--> '''Jed''': That boy ain't got nothin' in his head but space.\
46	'''Granny''': (Chuckling) You can say that again!\
47	'''Jed''': Oh, now, that's not what I meant, let me rephrase it.\
48	'''Jethro''' appears, wearing a suit consisting of aluminum foil wrapped randomly around his body, even larger clod-hopper boots than he usually wears also wrapped in foil, a fishbowl on his head, and a television antenna duct-taped to the fishbowl, and walks across the scene.\
49	'''Jed''': You know, I think I'll just let that one stand.
50	* There was a RunningGag in the show's early seasons -- whenever Pearl began singing, the neighborhood dogs would howl, with the Clampetts' dog being no exception. When said dog gets out and is lost in the neighborhood, what does Jed do to give Elly some help? [[MundaneUtility Ask Pearl to belt out a number.]] She's not amused when she figures out why.
51	* In "The Garden Party," Granny confuses an inflatable pool alligator for the real thing and shoot it with her shotgun.

Context Funny / TheBeverlyHillbillies