Line #4 Funny/SchindlersList


1	As harrowing as this movie is, it's not without its moments of levity:
2	----
3	!!The film
4	* A man enters a church during Mass. He gets inside, hesitantly makes the sign of the cross at the doors, and walks to a pew. As the camera pans over the pews, it reveals they are all filled with ''Jewish'' traders, all exchanging notes, rates, and other info about deals and goods they have in what passes for a secure place. All while the Mass is going in the background.
5	** Turns into BlackComedy when Schindler reveals himself, wearing an NSDAP pin in his jacket. The pews almost instantly empty, leaving only Oskar and Poldek.
6	** Poldek is one of the traders, arguing with a supplier over the shoe polish he sent. Poldek sold it to the German army... but because the containers were glass, not metal, they cracked in the cold. Goldberg is watching on, [[PassThePopcorn enjoying the argument,]] and [[{{Troll}} egging the argument on for fun.]] The supplier keeps saying, "It's not my problem," which Goldberg echoes again and again. Then Poldek threatens to rat the guy out to the army, and Goldberg, without missing a beat, grins and says, ''"Now'' it's your problem." He's a jerk, but he's a funny jerk.
7	* At one point, Stern goes to a document forger in order to get new identity papers for a man who's been denied an "essential worker" permit. The forger cranks out the papers, Stern looks them over...and then crumples them up and pours a cup of tea all over them. When the forger asks if there's anything wrong with the papers, Stern says that they're very good -- and that's the problem; they look ''too new'' for a man in his fifties!
8	* Emilie Schindler tells Oskar, "''I will only stay if you promise me, no doorman or maitre d' will ever mistake anyone but me for Mrs. Oscar Schindler.''" GilliganCut has Emilie leaving on her train. Apparently [[TheCasanova Oskar]] isn't ready to commit to his own wife.
9	* When Schindler's starting up his factory, he decides he needs a secretary. As he holds 'auditions' for the position, each woman he reviews is beautiful but can't type worth anything; these are the women that get his attention. Of course, there's one that can type super-fast, but Schindler's too busy averting his eyes from her appearance to notice. When Stern confronts him about making a decision, he decides he can't ("They're all so... qualified.") and hires them ''all''.
10	** FridgeBrilliance kicks in when you realize that by hiring them all, he includes the woman who wasn't as attractive but was very competent. Schindler gets what he wants and what he needs all at once. And once his business is booming, he ''really'' ends up needing them all.
11	* At one point, Stern is put on a train bound for the concentration camps after leaving his work permit at home. Schindler goes to the station looking for him, but runs into two uncooperative SS officers. He takes down their names, spells his own for them, and nonchalantly says, "Gentlemen, thank you very much. I think I can guarantee you, you'll both be in [[WarIsHell Southern Russia]] before the end of the month." Cue their OhCrap faces - they know just how brutal the fighting is between the Soviets and Germans down there. They quickly join Schindler in calling for Stern and get him off the train just before it pulls out.
12	* When the Jews, mayor included, are evicted, Schindler moves into the mayor's house. Schindler clearly enjoys it. The mayor, on the other hand, is raging at how bad the conditions are, and screaming about how it couldn't possibly be worse, when twelve other people walk into the room. Looks like he has to share!
13	-->'''Schindler:''' It could not be better.\
14	''Cut to the ghetto''\
15	'''Mrs. Nussbaum:''' It could be worse.\
16	'''Mr. Nussbaum:''' How? Tell me. How on earth could it possibly be worse?!\
17	''Twelve other Jews walk into the room, saying greetings''
18	* Stern's deadpan response when Schindler asks if there's any reason to be worried about the factory's future.
19	-->'''Stern:''' The war could end.
20	* Schindler giving a toast to Stern and his good work, and Stern just sitting there with drink in hand and a confused face. Then Schindler asking him to at least pretend to be overjoyed. And when even that doesn't get a response, Schindler just downs both drinks himself.
21	* A BilingualBonus. After Oscar kisses a Jewish woman on his birthday party, the orchestra, which was silently watching in disbelief, promptly starts playing [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BUz8DlX3SMc "Ostatnia niedziela"]]. The lines translate to:
22	-->''It's the last Sunday\
23	Today we'll part\
24	Today we'll leave each other\
25	Forever''
26	* Morbid and serious as it is, it's hard not to chuckle a little when a Jewish boy in the Plaszow camp, savvy on where the Nazis are really taking the kids, tries to find a hiding place. He keeps running into other kids who have already claimed the spots.
27	* This exchange between Schindler and Stern as they draw up the list:
28	-->'''Stern:''' How many cigarettes have you smoked tonight?\
29	'''Schindler:''' Too many.\
30	'''Stern:''' ''(coughing)'' For every one you smoke, I smoke half!
31	* Schindler's response to Stern's news that the Brinnlitz factory is turning out unusable artillery shells:
32	-->'''Schindler:''' Stern, if this factory ever produces a shell that can actually be fired, I'll be very unhappy.
33	** By this point in the war, the real Schindler had made up his mind to hinder the German military as much as possible. His factory produced almost no usable munitions of its own, and he bought shells from other companies and resold them as his own to keep the army happy. There were rumors that he even mis-calibrated the machines so that they would produce nothing but junk.
34	* It's hard not to laugh at Goeth's execution, with it taking two Soviets several tries to kick the stool out from under his bulk. (In real life, it took three attempts to hang Goeth.)
35	* The mass exhumation and cremations at Hujowa Górka is a scene of absolutely mind-bending horror, with attention even drawn to a Nazi who has snapped. And in the middle of it, oblivious to the depravity around him, Goeth whines about it like an office worker who's been assigned tedious busywork by upper management.
36	-->'''Goeth:''' Can you believe this? As if I don't have enough to do, they come up with this?
37	* In a moment of MoodWhiplash that only Steven Spielberg could pull off. A bunch of prisoners are assembled and confronted by Goeth about a prisoner who has apparently killed a chicken. When nobody steps forward Goeth immediately executes one of the prisoners randomly. He then asks again who is responsible and within seconds raises his rifle towards another prisoner. Then a young boy steps forward. Anybody watching was certainly horrified, and even the guard behind Goeth looks very uneasy for a moment. Goeth in his very creepy way confronts the boy and asks if he did it, in tears the boy responds no. Goeth says "but you know who it was?" Tearfully the boy responds that yes he does. The tension is extremely high, when Goeth asks him who it was he points at the prisoner Goeth had just executed and loudly declares that he was the guilty man. Though you do not see his face Goeth's body language suggests he knows he's just been had but with some FridgeBrilliance we know he must have been impressed since he not only let the boy live, he let him work in Schindler's factory.
38
39	!!Meta
40	* When Creator/StevenSpielberg noticed that everyone was becoming depressed working on such a sad picture, he called up a comedian friend of his to tell jokes over the phone to cheer everyone back up. That friend? Creator/RobinWilliams.

Context Funny / SchindlersList