Line #92 Funny/PrideAndPrejudice


1	* The very opening lines of the novel are quite funny and rather snarky, being a TakeThat towards the general population of England at the time.
2	-->"It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.\
3	However little known the feelings or views of such a man may be on his first entering the neighborhood, this truth is so well fixed in the minds of the surrounding families, that he is considered as the rightful property of some one or other of their daughters."
4	* The part when Mrs. Bennet asks Mr. Bennet to force Elizabeth to marry Mr Collins, only to have him turn around with this line:
5	--> "An unhappy alternative is before you, Elizabeth. From this day you must be a stranger to one of your parents. --Your mother will never see you again if you do not marry Mr. Collins, and I will never see you again if you ''do''."
6	* When Elizabeth relates Mr. Wickham's tale of woe to Jane, Jane will not believe that Mr. Bingley's dear friend Mr. Darcy would be as cruel as described, and attributes the whole thing to a misunderstanding between the two men. Jane suggests that "interested people" have misrepresented Wickham and Darcy to each other, prompting a teasing reply from Elizabeth.
7	--> "Very true, indeed; and now, my dear Jane, what have you got to say on behalf of the interested people who have probably been concerned in the business? Do clear ''them'' too, [[DeadpanSnarker or we shall be obliged to think ill of somebody.]]"
8	* When Elizabeth first tells Jane of her engagement Jane thinks she's joking. Elizabeth then dispairs. If she can't convince Jane of all people she's in love with him how will she manage to convince anyone?
9	* After the whole mess with Lydia is settled, Mr. Bennet declares that Wickham is going to be his favorite of the daughters' husbands just for the entertainment value.
10	--> "I defy even Sir William Lucas himself to produce a more valuable son-in-law."
11	* The scene at Netherfield where Mr. Darcy is trying to write a letter to his sister and his ClingyJealousGirl Caroline Bingley constantly interrupts him to compliment his handwriting, the evenness of his lines, observe how fast he writes, or add her own message to his sister... while remaining completely oblivious to her target's determination to ignore her as best as he can!
12	** Not to mention how the narration hints that he's practically staring at Elizabeth. To recap: Caroline is making eyes at Darcy. Darcy doesn't particularly care about her and is making eyes at Elizabeth. And Elizabeth is ''completely'' oblivious to both of them!
13	** Shortly after, Caroline gets Elizabeth to walk around the room with her (in a vain attempt to get Darcy's attention). When Elizabeth asks him to join them, he politely turns her down and lays out his reasoning. Why? Well, the only reason he can think of for their walking around is either that they're sharing secrets (in which case he would be in the way), or else they're showing off their bodies (in which case he can appreciate them much better from where he's sitting)!
14	* There's also the scene where Mr. Collins proposes and accepts Elizabeth's answers without her responding. She tries to turn him down gently, but he's not worried. He's heard that some women turn down proposals they plan on accepting. Sometimes even three times. It takes quite a while for her to convince him she's not going to marry him.
15	** In fact, he ''still'' doesn't get it until she actually ''[[ScrewThisImOuttaHere gets up and walks out of the room]].''
16	** After leaving, she thinks that, if Mr. Collins still doesn't get it, she'll apply to her father "whose behavior, at least, could not be mistaken for the affectation and coquetry of an elegant female."
17	* While we're on the subject of ''Literature/PrideAndPrejudice'', there is a parody called ''Literature/PrideAndPrejudiceAndZombies''...
18	* Elizabeth is relieved when the militia leaves town and begins to hope "by the following Christmas, [Kitty] might be so tolerably reasonable as not to mention an officer above once a day, unless, by some cruel and malicious arrangement at the War-office, another regiment should be quartered in Meryton."
19	* The book's best piece of [[LemonyNarrator Lemony Narration]] comes when Elizabeth runs into her least favorite person, Mr Darcy, during her walk through Rosings Park: "She felt all the perverseness of the mischance that should bring him where no one else was brought; and to prevent its ever happening again, took care to inform him at first, that it was a favourite haunt of hers. How it could occur a second time, therefore, was very odd!" Cluelessness, thy name is Elizabeth.
20	* Mr. Darcy's first proposal, in its way, is hilarious. The fact that he went in there, laid down a laundry list of highly insulting reasons why proposing to Elizabeth would be a terrible mistake and a disgrace, and then still fully expects that she's going to say yes! Not only that, he accuses ''her'' [[HypocriticalHumor of being uncivil]] when she is consequently quite chilly in declining. (He, of course, is just being ''honest''.)
21	* While discussing the sad affair of Bingley and Jane, Aunt Gardiner suggests that young men like Bingley are flighty in attraction. Elizabeth assures her that Bingley's feelings were most sincere, because he was starting to offend people by ignoring them in favor of Jane. "Is not general incivility the very essence of love?"
22	** Elizabeth's views on love in general are often hilarious. Case in point, this excerpt from a letter to the same Aunt Gardiner; she's talking about Wickham, who has now started courting the heiress Mary King:
23	--->I am now convinced that I have never been much in love, for had I really experienced that pure and elevating passion, I should at present detest his very name and wish him all manner of evil.
24	* After obtaining Mr. Bennet's consent for the marriage, Elizabeth informs him that it was Darcy and not Mr. Gardiner who saved Lydia. In his typical flippant fashion, he is delighted with this news:
25	--> "Had it been your uncle's doing, I must and ''would'' have paid him; but these violent young lovers carry everything in their own way. I shall offer to pay him to-morrow; he will rant and storm about his love for you, and there will be an end of the matter."
26	** Then he concludes by sitting down and saying, "If any young men come for Mary or Kitty, send them in, for I am quite at leisure."
27	* Lydia and Wickham's imposition on the rest of their family. First, she has the brass nerve to ask Elizabeth (the new Mrs. Darcy) for money. Though of course Mr. Wickham could never call on Pemberley, they ''did'' stay often at Netherfield whenever they had to find new lodgings (which was often) and so outstayed their welcome that Bingley would actually talk of, maybe, giving them a hint to leave.
28	* Georgiana, though she quickly comes to love Elizabeth as a sister, is at first astonished to hear the "lively, sportive" way that she speaks to Darcy -- wives can take liberties with their husbands that their little sisters cannot.
29	* All of Elizabeth's responses to Lady Catherine are as hilarious as they are awesome. The girl is the queen of {{Deadpan Snarker}}y:
30	-->'''Lady Catherine:''' I was told, that not only your sister was on the point of being most advantageously married, but that you, that Miss Elizabeth Bennet, would, in all likelihood, be soon afterwards united to my nephew, my own nephew, Mr Darcy. Though I ''know'' it must be a scandalous falsehood; though I would not injure him so much as to suppose the truth of it possible, I instantly resolved on setting off for this place, that I might make my sentiments known to you.\
31	'''Elizabeth:''' If you believed it impossible to be true, I wonder you took the trouble of coming so far. What could your ladyship propose by it?\
32	'''Lady Catherine:''' At once to insist upon having such a report universally contradicted.\
33	'''Elizabeth:''' Your coming to Longbourn, to see me and my family, will be rather a confirmation of it...
34
35	-->'''Lady Catherine:''' Has he, has my nephew, made you an offer of marriage?\
36	'''Elizabeth:''' Your ladyship has declared it to be impossible.\
37	'''Lady Catherine:''' It ought to be so; it must be so, while he retains the use of his reason. But ''your'' arts and allurements may, in a moment of infatuation, have made him forget what he owes to himself and to all his family. You may have drawn him in.\
38	'''Elizabeth:''' If I have, I shall be the last person to confess it.
39
40	-->'''Lady Catherine:''' Do not expect to be noticed by his family or friends, if you wilfully act against the inclinations of all. You will be censured, slighted, and despised, by every one connected with him. Your alliance will be a disgrace; your name will never even be mentioned by any of us.\
41	'''Elizabeth:''' [[BriarPatching These are heavy misfortunes.]] But the wife of Mr Darcy must have such extraordinary sources of happiness necessarily attached to her situation, that she could, upon the whole, have no cause to repine.
42
43	-->'''Lady Catherine:''' You are to understand, Miss Bennet, that I came here with the determined resolution of carrying my purpose; nor will I be dissuaded from it. I have not been used to submit to any person's whims. I have not been in the habit of brooking disappointment.\
44	'''Elizabeth:''' That will make your ladyship's situation at present more pitiable; but it will have no effect on ''me''.
45	** The best part? Lady Catherine went right to Darcy and told him ''everything Elizabeth said.'' And Darcy is ''overjoyed''. It "taught me to hope," he says, because if Elizabeth didn't want to marry him, she would have had no problem just ''saying'' "No, we're not engaged, and I wouldn't marry him if he were the last man on Earth." The fact that Elizabeth took the time to snark Lady Catherine into submission over how she would, in theory, have every right to marry Mr Darcy if she wanted, is what gives Darcy the courage to try proposing to her again.
46	* When Mr Collins first writes to Mr Bennet, he admits that he was unsure about it for a long time-- Mr Bennet and Mr Collins' father had quarreled in the past, and while Mr Collins was sorry about that, he was afraid that it might be disloyal of him to extend an olive-branch to someone it had always "pleased [his father] to be at variance with."
47	* The author's description of [[SesquipedalianLoquaciousness Mr. Collin's]] proposal to Miss Lucas: "'''In as short a time as Mr. Collins's long speeches would allow''', everything was settled between them to the satisfaction of both".
48	* At the Netherfield ball, while dancing with Darcy and talking animatedly, Elizabeth comments that they're both of "an unsocial taciturn disposition."
49	-->'''Darcy:''' [[DeadpanSnarker "This is no great resemblance to your own character, I am sure."]]
50	* When Mrs. Bennet is lamenting the entail for the umpteenth time, and predicting that she and the girls will be turned out of the house the moment Mr. Bennet is dead, Mr. Bennet offers her this (unappreciated) consolation:
51	-->'''Mr. Bennet:''' "Let us flatter ourselves that ''I'' may be the survivor."
52	* The second best [[LemonyNarrator Lemony Narration]] in Chapter 28's descriptions of Hunsford:
53	--> After sitting long enough to admire every article of furniture in the room, from the sideboard to the fender, to give an account of their journey, and of all that had happened in London, Mr. Collins invited them to take a stroll in the garden,...
54	--> Here, leading the way through every walk and cross walk, and scarcely allowing them an interval to utter the praises he asked for, every view was pointed out with a minuteness which left beauty entirely behind.
55	--> ...Charlotte took her sister and friend over the house, extremely well pleased, probably, to have the opportunity of showing it without her husband's help.
56	--> When Mr. Collins could be forgotten, there was really a great air of comfort throughout, and by Charlotte's evident enjoyment of it, Elizabeth supposed he must be often forgotten.
57	* Charlotte's innocent explanation of the differences between her and husband's daily activities. She encourages him to be in his garden, the fresh air is healthy. She encourages him to sit in the drawing-room to watch for Lady Catherine, while she prefers a different parlor. She encourages him to walk to Rosings nearly every day to call on Lady Catherine... so all in all, there are many days where they don't see each other from dawn until sundown. The knowing glances exchanged between her and Lizzie in the 1995 version make it even better.
58	* When Jane discovers that Elizabeth is now engaged to Mr. Darcy, she can't believe it, asking for reassurance that they are truly in love. Elizabeth delivers this gem:
59	-->'''Elizabeth:''' Why, I must confess that I love him better than I do Bingley. I am afraid you will be angry.
60	* An early conversation between Bingley, Darcy, and Elizabeth on the subject of personality flaws has Bingley talk about his own impulsivity as a fault, saying that he could be riding off to town in a moment if the mood took him. Darcy replies that Bingley is listing a "fault" that he is secretly proud of, or in other words, humblebragging.
61	** Darcy further asserts that Bingley's mind is too easily changed, claiming that he could be all prepared to go on a trip but would cancel it entirely at a word from a friend even if he were on the verge of leaving. Elizabeth counters that she'd take that as a positive quality indicating the trust he has in his friend; this sparks an argument which leads Bingley to say with exasperation that they'll have to establish all the particulars of the friendship, including the heights and weights of both parties, before they can draw any conclusions.
62	* The fact that Darcy spent so much time telling Georgiana how great Elizabeth is. She is powerless to think Elizabeth anything but "lovely and amiable," because Mr. Darcy really did just go off about how wonderful the woman who rejected him is.
63	** It's usually overlooked in adaptations, but the narration notes that after agreeing to meet Darcy's sister, Elizabeth assumes that they're likely to call on her in Lambton the day after Georgiana and the rest of the group get to Pemberley, and plans to stay at the inn that day so as not to miss them. Instead, Darcy is so anxious to introduce his sister to his crush that he brings Georgiana and Bingley to see Elizabeth the ''same day they get there.''
64	** Or an alternate interpretation: Georgiana was so eager to meet the woman her brother has been raving about for months she insists on going ASAP.
65	* Darcy and Elizabeth's encounter at Pemberley. It's a fraught encounter, with him struggling to improve himself after her rejection of his proposal and her slowly coming to realise he's a good man she could love ... ''but'' the scene could accurately be summed up as "Man is so intimidated by woman he apologises for showing up in his own house."
66	* Mrs Gardiner's letter to Elizabeth to explain Darcy's role in finding Lydia and getting her safely married to Wickham contains a number of very funny observations about Darcy's stubbornness and how he and Mr Gardiner argued more over the matter than either Lydia or Wickham really deserved. Remarking on how much she likes Darcy, she concludes with this gem:
67	-->"He wants nothing but a little more liveliness, and ''that'', if he marry ''prudently'', his wife may teach him."
68	** She then asks Elizabeth to forgive her if she's being too presumptuous - or at least to still allow her to visit at Pemberley in the future. In fact, she wants to drive around the grounds in a phaeton drawn by ponies.
69	** Elizabeth's answering letter after she and Mr. Darcy get engaged is just as amusing. She says she needs her aunt to praise Darcy much more than she did the last time, that the ponies is a delightful idea, that she must visit them for Christmas, and that Darcy sends her "all the love that can be spared from me."
70	*** Elizabeth is inviting guests over to Pemberley before she even moves in.
71	* Half of the reason Darcy split up Bingley and Jane? He didn't like the rest of the Bennetts and noted everyone besides Jane and Elizabeth were crazy, a matter of actual SeriousBusiness because it might ruin their reputation. The funny part and half the reason he confesses this to Bingley? He met the Gardiners with Elizabeth at Pemberley and basically said "hold on a minute, there's a portion of the family that actually has sense and we just hadn't met them yet."
72	* Mrs Bennet doesn't know what "never" means.
73	--->"I am determined never to speak of it again. I told my sister Phillips so the other day."
74	--->"I told you the other day I would never speak to you again, and you will find me as good as my word."
75	* When teased by Elizabeth, Darcy admits that he's an introvert, and doesn't have the skill of talking to strangers. Elizabeth, the Queen of Snark, fires back that her hands didn't have the skill of playing the piano, either--that's why she ''practices.''
76	** Darcy turns her lecture into SnarkToSnarkCombat: After Elizabeth explains she would be a better musician if she practiced more, Darcy agrees with her -- her time was better spent ''not'' practicing, which is why [[NotSoDifferentRemark neither of them give a meaningless performance to strangers they don't care about.]]
77	* If Elizabeth had just listened to Charlotte in the beginning, the entire book could have been avoided. That girl noticed Darcy was in love practically before he did.
78	* The Netherfield ball takes place when Elizabeth absolutely hates Mr. Darcy. So how does she end up dancing with him? When Darcy asks her for the next dance, she's so stunned, she says yes without knowing what she's doing! As soon as her brain catches up with her, she essentially starts ranting to Charlotte, "What the f*** did I just do?!"

Context Funny / PrideAndPrejudice