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1'''As a Moments subpage, all spoilers are unmarked [[Administrivia/SpoilersOff as per policy.]] Administrivia/YouHaveBeenWarned.'''
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4* '''Dung For''': An angry farmer chases after one of his workers in retaliation for the worker putting the moves on the farmer's daughter. The worker decided to hide in a truck... which is in the process of being loaded with manure to be sent off to be processed into fertilizer. He ends up getting buried alive when a front-end loader drops a bucketload of material on top of him, simultaneously compressing his chest and displacing the oxygen in his lungs with the methane being released from the contents. When the farmer's daughter finds him when she opens the truck, her reaction is priceless [[NoodleIncident and it gives the impression]] [[OhNoNotAgain that it happened to her before]].
5--> '''Farmer's Daughter:''' Why does this keep happening to me?!
6* '''Greased is the Word''': [[StupidCrooks An idiot]] who's already done time for a failed stick-up tries to rob a jewelry store. However, with his pantyhose mask blocking his vision, the moron can't see where he's going and he draws a gun... ''[[TooDumbToLive in a gun shop]]''. You can guess [[MoreDakka how well]] [[MultipleGunshotDeath that turns out]].[[note]]For bonus points, this has occurred to at least one would-be robber in real life with only one major difference: ''it wasn't an accident.'' [[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer That's right,]] someone actually attempted to '''''[[TooDumbToLive stick up a gun store]].''''' It's telling that ''1000 Ways to Die'' had to edit a story to make it ''more'' believable for once.[[/note]]
7* '''Sex Ray''': A patient at a hospital due to undergo an X ray of his skull is an unintentional viewer of the X ray technician getting it on with a nurse. While he looks on, both surprised and amused, he soon dies after his head gets blasted with X rays repeatedly for 20 minutes because the nurse's backside kept hitting the power button on the machine's control panel, effectively cooking his brain like an egg. Not that he seemed to mind too much, though!
8-->'''Patient''': "Well, this certainly looks like a fun place to work!"
9* '''Succu Offed''': Two stoners have a shared hallucination after drinking cactus juice and are haunted by the booming voice of the spirit of a saguaro cactus who warns that they will be punished for stealing it from its natural habitat. Both stoners die by [[WatchWhereYoureGoing not looking where they're going]] in their attempt to escape the vengeful plant and end up [[ImpaledWithExtremePrejudice impaled by cacti.]]
10-->'''Saguaro voice:''' [[LargeHam YOU HAVE DONE WRONG! YOU WILL PAY FOR YOUR SINS! YOU HAVE DISTURBED THE CACTUS UNIVERSE! YOU WILL DIE! DIIIIIIEEEEE!!!!!!]]
11* '''Boyz 2 Dead''': A boy band that used to be popular in the 1990s is now reduced to playing at small clubs for bored audiences. The lead singer hears a woman with a camcorder scream his name and does a stage dive, hoping the audience would catch him... except they don't, and he ends up dead from the impact ''severely'' damaging his spine. The kicker: the other members of the boy band [[TheShowMustGoOn continue their performance]] after realizing the lead singer is dead.
12* '''Work of Fart''': A frat boy is trying to win a farting contest by getting a coach with some of the weirdest methods imaginable. The coach dies when the frat boy accidentally [[{{FartsOnFire}} ignites]] a [[{{Fartillery}} big one]], inadvertently setting the coach on fire. Even funnier is the frat boy's reaction:
13-->"Oh, my God! [[CaptainObvious My fart killed you!]]"
14** And one of the interviewees is a guy who competes in fart competitions. He demonstrates with his mouth.
15* '''Tali-Bombed''': Two would-be terrorists plan to blow up a police station with a bomb involving a suitcase filled with Semtex using a GPS timer. ''Several seconds'' after they prime the bomb, the timer starts to beep.
16-->'''Abdul''': [[OhCrap DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME!]]\
17'''Habib''': [[BigNo NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!]]\
18'''''[BOOM!]'''''
19** While assembling the bomb, the terrorists chat about which American celebrity is hotter.
20* '''Em-Bear-Assed''': A guy is high on shrooms and finds himself in a [[UsefulNotes/FurryFandom furry]] orgy. Wanting in, he finds a random "furry" and begins to screw it, only to find that it's ''[[BearsAreBadNews an actual bear]].'' He gets mauled to death. What makes it funnier is the narrator's recap of it.
21--> '''Narrator''': Let's recap what we learned from Randy's gruesome death: This is your brain, this is your brain on drugs, and this is a bear, ripping out your throat after you tried to have sex with it while you were high on drugs. The lesson? When nature calls, ''just say no.''
22* '''Colon-gross-opy''': A tomboy competes with her immature roommates in various contests, such as drinking beer and blowing balloons. When the time for a farting contest begins, she decides to one-up them by [[AssShove sticking a can of whipped cream into her butt.]] But the gas from the can destroys her from the inside, killing her. As soon as the roommates show up to see what happened, though, the dead girl (who is bent over a couch with her butt sticking up) lets out a fart. Blood sprays onto one of the roommates' face, causing him to cry out, "I'm covered in ass blood!"
23* '''Down with the Clown''': A birthday party clown named Funny Eddie is out to destroy a hip-hop {{Horrorcore}} duo called [[Music/InsaneClownPosse Infernal Clown Posse]] because he thinks they're ruining the reputation of clowns everywhere and has been sending the duo hate-mail, making the duo refer to him in passing as "the hater". Funny Eddie crashes one of their concerts and tries to get onstage, but gets hit in the head with a soda bottle. When he comes to, he decides to pull the plug on the concert and upstage the group. Turns out it's not such a good idea, as being drenched in soda made the clown ''very'' conducive to the electricity in the wires and he got fried. Infernal Clown Posse's response:
24-->'''Shaggy 2 Dope:''' It's the hater!
25-->'''Violent J:''' He's... ''dead.''
26--> ({{Beat}})
27-->'''Shaggy and J:''' [[TheShowMustGoOn IN! YO! FACE!]]
28* Even the ads can be pretty funny. The mere concept of TheGrimReaper doing StandUpComedy to describe the show is LOL-worthy.
29* '''Bowled Over''': Ordinarily a hipster's death is sad and scary to witness...but the female friend screaming that her friends had killed one of their own in a shriek like tone is amusing
30-->'''Girl:''' YOU KILLED HIIIIIMMM!!!!
31* '''Gas Holed''': A proctologist with a fetish for woman's asses forgets to tell a stripper (who suffered a rectal injury during a porno movie shoot) to not eat anything before operating on her. She eats [[FireBreathingDiner a large chili dog]] and later [[{{Fartillery}} lets out a big fart during the surgery]], accidentally blowing up the cauterizer and burning the doc's face and lungs.
32* '''Die-Brator''': As a feminist interviewee explains feminism in a way only slightly less stupid that the StrawFeminist victim, text scrolls by saying "{{blah blah blah}}". Poor lady.
33* '''Apocalypse Harley''': In an homage to ''Film/ApocalypseNow'', a Marlon Brando-esque mercenary is hired to take down a Creator/CharlieSheen-esque actor who's been all over the news for his cocaine abuse, his violence against women, and his erratic behavior (i.e., believing that he's a wizard and claiming that he gets all his powers from tiger blood). When the mercenary finally gets his man, the actor goes berserk and breaks out his machete to fight back against the mercenary. In his cocaine-and-tiger-blood-fueled insanity, the actor trips and impales himself on his own weapon. As his live-in floozies gather around him, the actor sputters, [[MemeticMutation "Winning!"]] before dying. Bonus funny points for one of the floozies asking if the actor was "winning" or dying.
34* '''Doggie Styled''': Two drunk hunters go hunt ducks with their dog, made even more hilarious as narrator acts as the dog's voice to tell the viewers just how gosh-darn proud he is of being a dog, even adding backstory to the dog himself. They try to use dynamite to kill the ducks without shooting them, but the dog mistakes this as a game of fetch and returns the dynamite stick to them, accidentally killing them as it explodes though the dog remains unharmed as it chases a squirrel after dropping the stick of dynamite next to them. Made even funnier because ''[[UnreliableNarrator it's all from the dog's POV]]''; you can practically ''hear'' the WesternAnimation/LooneyTunes theme in the background.
35-->'''Sparky''': Here's what [my brain would] look like. [[DogsAreDumb I love eating, sleeping, sniffing crotches, and digging holes]]. I used to love to lick my testicles; whoever invented [[AnimalsFearNeutering neutering]] should have theirs cut off.
36-->'''Sparky''': [[ExplosiveStupidity What kind of stick was that?]]
37-->'''Sparky''': [[ComicallyMissingThePoint Here you go. I fetched your arm.]]
38* '''Withdrawn''': A man uses a self-made C4 brace and claims that he is being forced to rob a bank by crooks. He dies because [[LaserGuidedKarma a woman used a wireless car key that had the same frequency as the remote detonation.]] The CMOF comes with this line from a cop:
39--> '''Cop''': Cancel the bomb squad, [[CrossesTheLineTwice send the meat wagon.]]
40--> '''Narrator''': Roger that.
41* '''Tunnel Vision''': A crooked cheesesteak vendor named Dennis tries to torch a rival vendor's stand with a Molotov cocktail, but ends up setting himself on fire. In a panic, he runs straight to what appears to be a tunnel, only to crash straight into a 3d artwork OF a tunnel Wile Coyote style!
42* '''Bull-Heavia''': The dictator of a Middle East country gives televised speeches every day denouncing America. In private, however, he is obsessed with American culture and has a private room filled with American memorabilia, including a model replica of Washington D.C and a mechanical bull. One day, his assistant who doesn't know how to work the controls of the bull, accidentally makes the bull go too fast, causing the dictator to fly off the bull and onto the Washington Monument in his model of Washington, which pierces his heart, killing him. This is all a really funny scenario, but the funniest part is when the EMT describes his death, he says that "it (the Washington Monument) went through his heart, causing him to bleed all over Washington D.C."
43* '''Rubbed Out''': Jeremy is a germaphobe who practically has a panic attack when a black homeless man digs some leftover coffee from out of his trash and then sneezes all over him. Needless to say, he runs back to his house (while hilariously yelling "Aaaaah! Aaaaah!") and bathes himself in a ''bathtub full of rubbing alcohol''-- which, given its contents, makes him severely intoxicated- so much so, ''especially'' since he clearly doesn't appear to drink- that he dies of alcohol poisoning.
44* '''Funny Boned''': Chuck is a guy who loves to laugh. He hears a joke that is so funny that he simply can't stop. When he goes there the next day, he is '''still''' laughing. By this point, he has been laughing for '''''36 straight hours''''', and eventually suffers a heart attack due to the strain on his heart. After his death, we are treated to his angel rising from his body, ''laughing away''.
45* '''Kill Bill & Billie''': An abusive husband who suspects that his wife (a former callgirl) is cheating on him hires a hitman to track her, and, if she's seeing someone on the side, kill both the wife and the man she's with. It turns out, however, [[{{Hypocrite}}that the husband is not particularly faithful himself, and hires prostitutes three times a week]]. This week, however, he hires a fourth... who turns out to be his wife, who had been working as an escort behind his back. As they're busy screaming at each other, the hitman walks behind them, shoots them both in the head with a silenced pistol, and just leaves. [[ExactWords Oops.]]
46* '''Died-Zilla''': Katie is an ex-drug addict {{Bridezilla}} who relapses and snorts bath salts after receiving them as a gift at her bridal shower. Then she has sex with the Best Man right before the wedding ceremony. By the time she is about to marry her fiancé, she succumbs to hyperthermia due to the bath salts, collapses at the altar and dies before she can even say "I do". The topper? In a blink-and-you'll-miss-it moment at the very end of the segment, you see the groom ''fist bump'' one of his groomsmen, clearly relieved that he just avoided an obvious train wreck of a marriage.
47* '''Nun-F***ed''': Wally is a wannabe martial arts enthusiast who tries to go viral by showing off his "skills". He breaks boards, bricks, and cinder blocks, weakening his skull with each blow. For his last attempt, he waves around nunchucks until accidentally hitting his skull with them, inflicting fatal brain damage (the previous things hit him hard enough to ''mostly'' crack his skull open, the nunchucks were merely the last.) What sells it is the narrator's ending.
48-->"Wally was tired of going plastic. Too bad his head wasn't made out of elastic. Guess what, Wally? [[HaveANiceDeath You're dead, ya spastic]]!"
49* '''Deaf Jammed''': A petty crook named Mickey attempts to carjack a deaf woman. As he sticks his head in the left rear window, she rolls the window up without realizing he's there, crushing his neck between the window and the door frame. With the driver unable to hear his desperate struggle to escape, he ends up suffocating. When she finally notices his body jammed in the window, she nonchalantly rolls the window down and allows the body to fall out.
50* '''Paper or Spastic''': Lindy, an extremely obnoxious and ill-tempered woman ([[FreudianExcuse who was spoiled rotten by her Chinese family]]), tries to swindle a store cashier, then starts screaming at the manager when he comes over. You'd think she'd probably have an aneurysm or heart attack from the stress, right? [[BaitAndSwitch Nope.]] The scarf she was wearing (and was trying to shoplift) [[KarmicDeath gets caught in the checkout stand's conveyor belt and strangles her to death]]. The crowner is the nearby janitor's indifferent reaction. Like he ''didn't'' just watch someone '''choke to death.'''
51-->'''Janitor''': [[UnusuallyUninterestingSight Can I go on my break, dude?]]
52* '''Bitch Zapped''': An ill tempered wife tries to show her HenpeckedHusband how to properly mow the lawn, only to get electrocuted. What makes it is the husband's reaction:
53-->'''Husband''': There ''is'' a God!
54* '''Dill D’oh!''': A retired science teacher stuck in a BleakAbyssRetirementHome spends his time doing science experiments, much to the ire of the asshole caretaker, Peter. During one experiment involving turning a pickle into a lightbulb, Peter grabs the pickle ([[TooDumbToLive including the nails connecting the wires]]) and gets fatally electrocuted. Like many of these episodes, what makes it is the old guy's reaction:
55-->'''Mr. Franklin''': You shouldn't have grabbed the pickle if it was lit up! Any fool knows that! [[SarcasmMode "Oh, look! That pickle's lit up!" Well, don’t GRAB it then!]]
56* '''North by Northwasted''': The camera crew and little people reacting to the [[JerkAss rude,]] [[Creator/TommyWiseau Tommy Wiseau-like]] director, Dolph getting his carotid artery slit by an RC plane when things go awry:
57-->'''"Gary Can't"''': [[BondOneLiner That's a wrap.]]
58--> ''(Everyone walks away from Dolph's corpse)''
59* '''Keester Sunday''': Just....the whole damn segment. Jake and Josh are two drug traffickers who get pulled over by a cop who plans to do a full cavity search on them after sweeping their car. While they're waiting for him to come back, Josh pulls a balloon full of cocaine from Jake's anus using his mouth, they pop it, and then stupidly dispose of the evidence by snorting it all, obviously resulting in an overdose. When the cop goes back to his paddy wagon and sees the brothers dead, he says the only thing a person CAN say in that situation:
60-->'''Cop''': What the HELL?!
61** There's also this zinger from Jake:
62-->'''Jake''': Listen, you're my little brother! Put your mouth up my ass, and get that COKE OUT!
63* '''Beer Bashed''': The narrator breaking the fourth wall when he states that the jock stayed in front at the beer keg when everyone else left the party because "somebody had to die in this story" rather than any logical reason.
64* '''Rocked Out''':
65** A rock climbing instructor named Evan is too busy flirting with another instructor to pay attention to the climber, Terry. When Terry falls, the rope wraps around Evan's neck, forcing him to make a difficult choice:
66--> '''Narrator:''' Evan had a choice: strangle to death or ''(Evan whips out a hunting knife and starts cutting at the rope)'' screw Terry.
67--> '''Terry:''' Don't cut the rope!
68--> '''Narrator:''' He cut the rope.
69** Luckily, Terry survives the fall. Unfortunately, he lands right on top of Evan, breaking his neck.
70* '''Less is Mormon''': The narrator puts on an old Southern accent to encourage Sister Karen to escape.
71* '''Sumowed''':
72** For once, one of the narrator's dumb puns is actually kinda funny. As the incompetent team building exercise instructor rolls down in a cliff in a sumo suit, he gives this:
73--> '''Narrator:''' The new job seemed to be working for Harold. He was really on a roll.
74** Thanks to the suit, Harold survives the fall no worse for wear. Unfortunately, the poor bastard is hit by a car right after and dies.
75* '''Mexi-Can't''': A guy named Dan tries to bust his friend Jerrod out of a Mexican jail by hooking a wire up to the window bars and yanking them out with his car. Of course, it doesn't work, and the wire snaps and decapitates Dan. What sells it is the two wardens who don't even bat an eye at all of it happening, almost like they knew how Dan's plan was gonna end.
76* Whenever wildlife expert Jules Sylvester is brought out, usually to explain a particularly stupid and gruesome death like snorting fire ants or being eaten by pigs in his [[SophisticatedAsHell refined]] British accent.
77* The sheer commitment to authenticity in the stories can sometimes lead to some... interesting people being brought on for interviews. One such moment was bringing an actual pimp onto the show in "Cloudy With a Chance of Pain", who proceeds to explain the basic goals a pimp would have ("Bottom line is dollar sign") and then speaks about the difference between pimps in America, who tend to employ prostitutes who can stay or leave at will, and Russia, where pimps tend work in the trafficking of sex slaves.
78* '''Implo-dead''': A couple of crack addicts hiding out in an abandoned building pin the blame on each other when their favorite drug goes missing. Amongst their excessive rambling is the hilariously repeated lines:
79--> '''Darnell:''' You never tell me the truth! You always lying!
80--> '''Anita:''' What are you talking about?!
81--> '''Darnell:''' ''(repeatedly)'' You smoke it, didn't you!? You smoked it!
82--> '''Anita:''' ''(repeatedly)'' YOU smoked it!
83--> '''Darnell:''' ''(whining)'' I hear it calling meeee!

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