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1There are lot of hilariously gold moments in ''Night Court''. The show isn't without these hysterical moments:
2
3* Just about anytime John Astin showed up as Buddy. Or even his second season appearance as Harry's hospital roommate Kenny.
4* The absolutely ridiculously unlucky [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jd7by2m1VDs Bob and June Wheeler]].
5** They admit they're not from West Virginia but picked it as "it was the most exotic place we could think of."
6--->'''Christine:''' Well then, where are you from?\
7'''June:''' Isn't the accent obvious?\
8'''Mac:''' You mean you from...\
9'''Bob:''' Yugoslavia.
10** The gang basically just has enough of these two.
11--->'''Christine:''' Due to the...pathetic circumstances, I move for a dismissal.\
12'''Harry:''' Prosecution?\
13'''Dan:''' ...Let's just hang them, put them out of their misery...
14* The hilarity in the season 3 episode "Walk Away, Renee" really starts after Dan rather bluntly tells Bull something frank about his new girlfriend: "Bull, the woman is a ''hooker''!" Bull then turns around very slowly [[ThisIsGonnaSuck with a mean scowl on his face]]. We then cut to just outside, where Mac is talking with a supplier:
15-->'''Mac:''' We're gonna need a gross of pencils, three dozen typewriter ribbons...\
16''[Sound of Dan screaming followed by a loud crash.]''\
17'''Mac:''' ...[[BreadEggsMilkSquick six pints of whole blood]]...
18** When we come back from commercials, smoke is coming from outside Harry's office. Bull is still inside in the midst of a Bull-sized tantrum.
19--->'''Mac:''' Here's your coffee, sir. Bull's still at it, huh?\
20'''Harry:''' ''(Loud crash)'' That was a major appliance, wasn't it?\
21'''Flo:''' ''(Walks in with a revolver retrieved from evidence)'' A .44 caliber. It won't stop him, but it should slow him down.\
22'''Christine:''' ''(Loud and lengthy sound of metal creaking)'' You needed new duct work anyway, sir.
23** Later, Mac brings a small paper bag in to Harry in the courtroom.
24--->'''Harry:''' What's that?\
25'''Mac:''' Your couch.\
26'''Harry:''' ''[Opens bag and looks inside]'' I guess re-upholstering's out of the question.
27* In "Constitution, Part 2", as Dan is trying to administer an insulin shot to a hallucinating Roz, while she is standing on a roof ledge.
28-->'''Roz:''' What's that behind your back?\
29'''Dan:''' ({{Beat}}) ''New Jersey!''
30* The "Day in the Life" series of episodes (running once per season for seasons 4 through 7) each compress numerous funny cases and assorted courtroom antics into one little episode, providing a concentrated dose of funny.
31** The first one, "A Day in the Life" (season 4), one of the cases seen involves a very short man who attempted to, in Dan's words, "''terminate his life in a laundromat by stuffing himself and $12.00 worth of quarters into a jumbo dryer.''":
32--->'''Mr. Grossman:''' I can't take it anymore! I didn't ask to go through life being 5'6"!\
33''(Christine, who stands half a head taller than him, [[{{Beat}} looks at him for a moment]].)''\
34'''Christine:''' You can't be 5'6". ''I'm'' 5'6".\
35'''Mr. Grossman:''' What?\
36'''Harry:''' Mr. Grossman, you didn't, by any chance, happen to set the dryer to High, did you?[[note]]The implied punchline being that, in trying to roast himself, he may have actually ''shrunk'' himself instead.[[/note]]
37** The opening joke in "Another Day in the Life" (season 5) is that there's a betting pool over who can get the most convictions by midnight...
38--->'''Christine:''' By total volume or percentage?\
39'''Dan:''' Raw tonnage.\
40'''Christine:''' ''What?''\
41'''Dan:''' Yeah, every defendant's weight is right here on the rap sheet. Whoever convicts the most flesh by midnight wins $2,000.\
42'''Mac:''' Talk about living off the fat of the land.
43** In "Yet Another Day In The Life" (season 6), an entire case was carried out in Seussian verse. For reference the case is about a mother assaulting Dr Seuss {{Expy}} Doctor Wiggles when her son broke his arm imitating "the Snurt", a character from Wiggle's book "Fleas In Your Trees, No Sneezes Please".
44--->'''Wiggles:''' Oh please, I never meant the boy any harm. It was purely his folly that broke his arm. The Snurt is a snoozle and not real at all. You can't blame a snoozle for calling his fall.\
45'''Christine:''' But sir, the boy only climbed in the tree because of a drawing on page thirty-three.\
46'''Dan:''' Your honor, she hit the poor man with her shoe.\
47'''Wiggles:''' You can see the spots clearly. Bump one and bump two.\
48'''Christine:''' I object.\
49'''Dan:''' You object? \
50'''Harry:''' Overruled.\
51'''Mac:''' This is stupid.\
52'''Bull:''' On Donner, on Blitzen, on Comet and Cupid!\
53'''Harry:''' Well I'm fining you fifty and that should be it.\
54'''Dan:''' Now get outta here you dumb little sh-\
55'''Harry:''' ''(Gavel)'' [[CurseCutShort Dan!]]
56** Right after this case, we get one of the show's most stupidly funny scenes -- Dan rapidly losing his patience with [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tFADFSI7Z4Q a super-slow Mr. Danielson who has a rare case of "tortoise nervosa".]]
57** [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zh1pZqmxvmM This scene from "Still Another Day In The Life" (season 7).]]
58* In "Danny Got His Gun, Part 1", Dan - who is in the US Army Reserves - is called into active duty. Fearful that he is going to be sent into a war zone, Dan tries to provoke Bull into injuring him so he's unfit for combat duty. However Bull was on to him and refused to take the bait. Among the many insults he throws at Bull...
59--> '''Dan:''' Your mother conceived you in the backseat of a clown car!
60** Later, Dan plots to fake several physical injuries to get out of going. His tune changes and he has a miraculous recovery when he finds out that his commanding officer, Major Savage, is an ActionGirl and that the mission involves them posing as a couple and going undercover at an exotic resort, in order to do reconnaissance on a BananaRepublic. And that's when Dan's Plan C kicks in as his BumblingSidekick Phil the Bum shows up with flowers, candy and a declaration of his love for Dan.
61--->'''Dan:''' It's not what you think! I'm paying him!\
62'''Major Savage:''' ({{Beat}}) That's even ''MORE'' disgusting!
63** At the end of the episode, the courthouse receives a telegram about how [[spoiler: Dan's plane crashed just north of Hudson and he's presumed dead]]. He bribes the guy delivering the telegram to sing it, with him doing so in the tune of "Row, Row, Row Your Boat" to the first part of the telegram. As everyone else is in shock over the possibility of [[spoiler: Dan being dead]], Bull proceeds to continue singing "Row, Row, Row Your Boat".
64* The Season 5 Halloween episode "Safe" has Dan thinking that he has literally sold his soul to the devil, leading to:
65-->'''Dan:''' ..He knew every sleazy degrading disgusting thing I've ever done in my entire life! Who else would know all that stuff?\
66'''Mac:''' ..Me?\
67'''Dan:''' [...] You. You? YOU!!! Oh ''thank God!! [keels over]''
68** Even better is Mac's response when Dan recovers.
69--->'''Dan:''' WHY?!\
70'''Mac:''' ''(barely repressing a giggle)'' The Devil made me do it.
71* The opening of "Mac's Dilemma" with Mr. Shibata, who was engaged with three prostitutes in his hotel room for ''seven hours''. Dan, Harry, and Mac can't help but bow in respect.
72--->'''Dan:''' My God, man! How do you do it??
73--->'''Mr. Shibata:''' Every day, I swim ten miles, eat one hundred oysters, and soak myself in a barrel of pickle brine!
74--->'''Dan:''' ''(to the stenographer)'' You got that?
75--->''(Stenographer nods)''
76** Shortly after, when Harry sentences Mr. Shibata to community service, the man faints.
77--->'''Harry:''' He didn't take that nearly as well as I'd hoped.
78* In "Earthquake", as Harry complains about the monotony of the cases being brought before him recently, two sumo wrestlers in full costume are escorted in.
79--> '''Harry:''' Sumos again?
80* Harry tells someone he has every Mel Torme record ever released:
81--> '''Harry:''' I'm gonna marry the girl that's impressed by that.
82* From the first episode: Harry had been making decisions by flipping a coin, which he chose to refer to as "The Coin of Justice", such as saying that if the coin came up "Heads", he'd remain a judge, and "Tails", he'd resign. Then he told [[HookerWithAHeartOfGold Carla B.]] that if it was "Heads", he'd fine her, and "Tails" he'd jail her, leading to the line '''"The Defense wants Heads, Your Honor!"'''. And again, it was Heads. We finally learn that Harry was using a TwoHeadedCoin.
83* In "I'm OK, You're Catatonic/Schizophrenic", Dan accidentally destroys Harry's Mel Torme record collection. Harry has to be physically restrained when he's informed of this. Filled with rage, we get this classic line:
84--> '''Harry:''' I am going to '''''[[CutHisHeartOutWithASpoon Eat...His...Eyebrows!]]'''''
85** This episode also featured a cameo by Mel Torme, who dropped off a full set of replacement records for Harry after hearing what had happened to the originals. Unfortunately, Harry was unaware of this development and already had executed his revenge on Dan by taking apart Dan's car piece-by-piece in his office. A distraught Dan grabs his car-less steering wheel and pretends to drive before ''Night Court''[='=]s typical freeze-frame then credits ending.
86* Then there's the discussion of "Edward Lotz, aka Crazy Eddie, [[IHaveManyNames aka 'Eddie the Machete', aka]] '[[Film/EdwardScissorhands Edward Scissor-Glands]]'":
87-->'''Christine:''' Something tells me this guy's gone way beyond white-collar.\
88'''Dan:''' Don't be silly. He's only wanted for... ''(reads rap sheet)'' performing plastic surgery without a license.\
89'''Christine:''' ''(takes rap sheet, continues reading)'' ...and [[BodyHorror without anesthesia]]... and [[CrossesTheLineTwice without permission!]]
90* Dan's monologue in Harry's darkened office as the "Phantom of the Courthouse".
91-->''(chuckles)'' Ah yes, poor Dan. Most of his friends think he's guilty. ''(EvilLaugh, suddenly stops)'' What am I laughing at? I'm Dan. No, I'm not. ''(starts wandering around the room waving his hands)'' Now, I am the Phantom of the Courthouse. And no, Inspector Pepitone, you will not bring Dan Fielding to justice because there is no ''(billow cape)'' '''jus-tice''' in this '''buil-ding''' ''(EvilLaugh)''. Not yet anyway. But soon I will remedy that, ''(raises cape with both hands)'' I will vanquish the guilty! I will punish the '''wick-ed!''' ''(rushes to the desk)'' I will take this stapler because I need one. And, I will raid the refrigerator, ''(laugh)'' because the Phantom's lair is short on '''half and half!''' Now I must prepare, because my time is near. The time of... the Phantom! ''(EvilLaugh, runs into the couch)'' '''Ouch!''' ''(sad voice)'' The Phantom banged his shin. ''(waves hands)'' I'll have to take that out... on someone. ''({{Sting}}, Dan climbs out the window)''
92* "The Wheels of Justice, Part 1": When the state announces it didn't meet the budget deadline and state employees won't get paid, Dan flips out and tosses the mini-television they heard this on out the window screaming that he only has twelve cents in the bank.
93--> '''Dan:''' I don't know what came over me. Harry, I'm sorry about your TV.\
94'''Christine:''' Let me tell him.\
95'''Dan:''' Tell me what?\
96'''Christine:''' It was Bull's.\
97'''Dan:''' Aaaaah! ''[Bull angrily gets up and begins advancing on Dan]'' He's getting up... He's coming over here! ''[Dan spins around to face Bull]'' Money or revenge?\
98'''Bull:''' Revenge. ''[Dan takes off his watch, frantically smashes it with his shoe and proffers the remains to Bull]'' Thank you.
99* "The Wheels of Justice, Part 2" had its moments. Mostly involving the unexpected death of the replacement judge, Judge Kemp.
100** How does everyone take it?
101--->'''Christine:''' I guess we're gonna have to call for another judge?\
102'''Mac:''' Well, what about this one?\
103'''Dan:''' Just put him out in the hall, somebody will pick him up eventually.\
104'''Mac:''' Oh, why does this junk always have to be dumped on me? Now, this could take hours and I got tickets to the Jets game tonight.\
105'''Dan:''' You got tickets?\
106'''Mac:''' Yeah, a pair on the 50-yard line.\
107'''Dan:''' Oh! (''puts his hand on Judge Kemp's head'') I would ''kill'' for a single in the end zone.\
108'''Christine:''' [''sarcastically''] Our grief appears to be inconsolable.
109** Then when everyone starts to leave, Bull stops them.
110--->'''Bull:''' Wait a minute! [[GeniusDitz Paragraph 6 section 27 of the New York City municipal code clearly states that no session of criminal or civil court may be recessed or dismissed unless so ordered by the magistrate presiding over said session]].\
111'''Dan:''' Bull... ''[[PunctuatedForEmphasis The man... is... dead]]''.\
112(''Bull looks at the judge, then looks at the folks in the courtroom'')\
113'''Bull:''' (''waves'') Drive safely, everybody!
114** Later, the staff is trying to get another replacement judge.
115--->'''Mac:''' (''on the phone'') Uh, yeah, hi, yeah, this is, uh, Mac Robinson of Arraignment Court 2. It looks like we're going to need a replacement judge to replace our replacement judge. I know it's the third in 24 hours. You kidding! (''to Christine'') We set a record!
116** When [[TenMinuteRetirement Harry returns]]:
117--->'''Harry:''' Well, uh, it's nice to see everything's the way I left it. Except, of course, for the dead guy on my bench.
118* "Russkie Business":
119** FunnyForeigner Yakov is desperate for a way back to Russia to take care of his sick mother. The official who originally denied Yakov's application for a travel visa - a stereotypical large Russian woman - takes a liking to Dan and tells him that she could make an exception for Yakov if Dan slept with her. When Dan tells everyone else about this breach of protocol...
120---> '''Yakov:''' Mr. Fielding! You would do this for me?\
121'''Dan:''' I'd sooner do it WITH you.\
122'''Yakov:''' ''(beat)'' Well, if you think it would help...\
123'''Dan:''' NO!
124** [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kZjEx8ClvsA Also from "Russkie Business"]]: One running gag of the episode had Christine being overly sensitive about her appearance, after Harry pointed out a small dent under her eyebrow. At the end of the episode, Bull delivers a note, apparently written by a secret admirer, talking about how beautiful Christine is and how the author would like to take her to dinner. When Christine assumes that the note was just an effort by everyone else to make her feel better and storms off offended, Bull walks across the cafeteria to another table.
125--->'''Bull:''' Sorry. I guess she wasn't interested.\
126''(The camera pans over to reveal ''Series/TheTonightShow'' host Johnny Carson)''\
127'''Johnny Carson:''' I'm sorry to hear that.\
128'''Bull:''' Excuse me, but aren't you married now?\
129'''Johnny Carson:''' ''(confused)'' I - I don't know.[[note]] He was; the marriage was his fourth and last.[[/note]]
130* In "The Former Harry Stone," everyone begins to question how old Harry is, so a pool is set up and ages are picked while they wait for his record to come in. At the end of the episode, Harry tells them he's 34. Everyone eagerly checks the list for who picked 34.
131-->'''Dan:''' Who's H.T.S.?\
132''(realization, as everyone looks at Harry)''\
133'''Harry:''' ''(smiling)'' Call it a hunch.
134* "The Game Show":
135** Bull is going on a local game show to raise the money needed to save the after-school program he works for but is afraid he'll crack under pressure. Dan, who knows something about hypnosis, tries to hypnotize Bull to be more confident whenever he hears a certain key phrase. Owing to bad timing due to Dan's attempting to pick up a passing woman, the phrase used is "I want to be your love slave." Christine goes to the studio with Bull and hilarity and confusion ensue as she tries to activate the phrase.
136--->'''Christine:''' You're not going to be nervous because... (sultry) I want to be your love slave.\
137'''Bull:''' Say, that IS good news!\
138'''Christine:''' No, Bull. You don't understand... (slowly and deliberately) I want to be your love slave!\
139'''Bull:''' Christine, you're making my brain sweat!
140** Eventually, they figure out that the person who said the catch phrase needs to be the one to trigger it. Dan races to the TV studio, but is unable to speak to Bull in the break between rounds. It isn't until Bull has overcome his fear and won the game on his own that Dan is eventually able to force his way on the stage to shout "Bull! I want to be your love slave!" on live TV before a crowd of millions.
141* In "Snoop And Nuts, Part Two", this exchange after Harry and Buddy start talking about their relationship now that Harry knows Buddy is his biological father.
142-->'''Harry:''' If you'd had the chance to name me, what would it have been?\
143'''Buddy:''' Oh, that's easy! I would have named you Mel!\
144'''Harry:''' Really?!\
145'''Buddy:''' The greatest voice in the world!\
146'''Harry:''' You would have named me after Music/MelTorme?!\
147'''Buddy:''' No! Creator/MelBlanc!
148* In one episode we discover that Bull carries all his money on his person. Mac asks him why he doesn't do something safe, like put it in a bank.
149-->'''Bull:''' [[MuggingTheMonster People rob banks.]]
150* "Her Honor, Part 1": [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jrLvtoKZfxY Bob and June Wheeler make a return visit to the court.]] HilarityEnsues.
151-->'''Mac:''' Well, we got a surprise for you, sir: some old favorites making a return appearance.\
152'''Harry:''' Do I get a hint?\
153'''Mac:''' Well, let me see...the squad car that took 'em to the police station [[UnluckyExtra was destroyed by a bolt of lightning]].\
154'''Harry:''' ''(Realization dawns)'' You mean...?\
155'''Bob:''' Hello. It's us.\
156'''Harry:''' Bob and June Wheeler, you Yugoslavian recidivist knuckleheads! What the heck brings you by?\
157'''Mac:''' They were picked up on a [[LoonyLaws 509(b) violation]], sir.\
158'''Harry:''' 509?\
159'''Mac:''' Uh-huh.\
160'''Harry:''' (b)?\
161'''Mac:''' Yeah.\
162'''Harry:''' I don't believe I'm familiar with that one.\
163'''Dan:''' Well, sir, it's not used in Manhattan very much. It involves the illegal detonation of ''poultry''.\
164'''Harry:''' Excuse me, but I didn't think that ''chickens'' were among our more-widely-used explosives.\
165'''Christine:''' Sir, the Wheelers were merely trying their hand at egg farming. They ran into a bit of difficulty with a [[PlayingWithFire propane-powered incubator]].\
166'''Harry:''' So all the would-be chicks are now...\
167'''Dan:''' ''[[StuffBlowingUp Quiche]]'', yes, sir. It seems as though [[Film/TheLittleRascals Darla and Alfalfa]] here got an incubator with a faulty shutoff valve.\
168'''Bob:''' It was a nightmare. The god-awful smell of meringue. The blood-curdling peeping.
169** Why Bob and June tried their hand at worm farming before egg farming:
170--->'''Dan:''' Ah, there's a picture. You two hunched over a big vat of pink, juicy wigglers.\
171'''Bob:''' We were seduced by the glamour of it all.\
172'''Harry:''' OK, what happened to the worms?\
173'''Bob:''' [[FinaglesLaw Stampede]].\
174''[Harry nods with an IKnewIt look.]''\
175'''June:''' It was like all the pasta you ever ate in your life coming back to get you.
176** June notes how Bob hasn't been the same since his Granny died. The gang all give each other long looks.
177--->'''Christine:''' Oh, what the hell, ''someone'' has to ask! How did she die?\
178'''Bob:''' She passed away in her sleep.\
179'''Harry:''' That's it? She was just sleeping peacefully?\
180'''Bob:''' Yes... [[CrossesTheLineTwice on the railroad tracks]].\
181''(that last line prompts not only John Larroquette to turn his head away as [[{{Corpsing}} he struggles to hold himself together]], Harry turns his head away with a semi FacePalm with how ridiculous this sounds)''.
182** Finally hearing enough, Harry demands they cut to the chase; Dan explains the actual offense ("Destruction of neighboring property, sir, to the tune of about 85 bucks") and Harry decides to just let them off with paying for the damages. Christine asks if they'll be able to afford it, leading into the following:
183--->'''June:''' ''(pats a coffee can she's carrying)'' Well, Granny did leave us a pretty substantial inheritance.\
184'''Dan:''' What do you got in there? A dead rat and a pack of [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Necco_Wafers Necco Wafers]]?\
185'''Bob:''' No. Two hundred and fifty thousand dollars.\
186''(June opens the can; Dan gasps upon seeing it [[AMacGuffinFullOfMoney stuffed with cash]])''\
187'''Bob:''' [[IronicEcho We ate the Necco Wafers.]]
188* In the ClipShow episode simply called "Clip Show", the framing device is that the gang is under investigation by the city for the numerous expenses they claimed during Harry's tenure as a Night Court judge. Everyone describes the bizarre things that have taken place in the courtroom and how those related to the various expenses. Even after a disgruntled clown takes them all hostage, the auditor refuses to believe that strange things just happen in Judge Stone's court... until there is a loud noise from the courtroom and everyone enters to find Bull standing in the middle of the room with a full-grown elephant. Shaken, the auditor says, "I believe everything you say." The Crowning moment comes when the oblivious Bull turns around, having not noticed the benches behind him and the wall being destroyed, and admonishes the elephant...
189-->'''Bull:''' Murray! I told you to wait in the car!
190* From the end of "Murder": [[https://youtu.be/mbadZwKxr5s When Dan gets news about having his sperm test's results mixed up with another patient's]]:
191-->'''Dan:''' [[ExtremeLibido I haven't had sex in two weeks... it's 3:00 in the morning, and I don't have a date!]]\
192''(Dan leers at a cafeteria table where Harry and company are sitting)''\
193'''Roz:''' Run for your lives, girls!\
194''(All the women in the cafeteria scramble for the exits as the men stay behind; Dan continues to leer at Harry, Bull, and Mac)''\
195'''Harry:''' ''([[{{Beat}} pauses before looking around]])'' Better safe than sorry, guys!\
196''(Everyone besides Dan scrambles for the exits as well. Reaching his breaking point, Dan finds a shard of broken glass and contemplates slitting his wrists. Then Alice Beaker, the old woman from the sperm bank appears [[BrainBleach wearing an otherwise-sexy green dress]].)''\
197'''Alice:''' I'll be down in the car. Don't keep me waiting.\
198''(Dan is torn between the glass and the dress. Finally, he reluctantly gets up and freshens his mouth. Just then, a mugger points a gun at him.)''\
199'''Mugger:''' You ain't goin' nowhere, mister!\
200'''Dan:''' '''GOD BLESS YOU!''' ''(Episode ends with Dan gratefully hugging the mugger's gun hand.)''
201** The fact that Roz and Bull, two people fully capable of folding Dan in half--and have literally done so previously--are just as terrified of him as everyone else sends the moment into pure hilarity.
202* When Mac decides to become an underwear model, the women (even Roz) are taken aback when they see [[MrFanservice Mac shirtless.]]
203-->'''Roz:''' How did Mac's head get on that body?!
204* Although "It's Just a Joke" is mostly remembered for the collective SugarWiki/MomentOfAwesome as the court personnel eviscerate a racist, sexist shock comic, it finds room for genuinely funny moments as well:
205-->'''Rev. Sinclair:''' I rest my case, Your Honour, Potter's act is one obscenity after another.\
206'''Harry:''' No, it's one "blankety blank" after another. It's also inane, insipid, and witless, but that is not a judgement, it's a ''plea'' to get you people out of my court. Stupidity dismissed! ''[bangs his gavel]''\
207'''Bull:''' ''[with his signature inflection]'' O-o-o-'''kay!''' ''[salutes and turns to leave until Roz stops him and shakes her head]''
208* "Christine's Friend" sees Harry and Dan competing for the attention of Christine's former college roommate, Heather (a young Sela Ward) - and Christine is horrified to learn that Heather is considering taking one of them upstate to the literary symposium where she is due to speak.
209** Bull's call to order at the beginning of the evening's session suggests Harry might have paid him to help persuade Heather to choose him:
210--->'''Bull:''' All rise! This court is now in session! ''[Harry and Dan wave to Heather]'' The honourable - and ''sexy'' - Harold T. Stone presiding.\
211'''Dan:''' Objection!\
212'''Harry:''' Overruled.
213** The first case on the docket is a prostitution charge, and Christine tries to warn Heather that Dan is a sex maniac. Unfortunately, the expected evidence does not materialise, leading to Christine embarrassing herself - and the court stenographer adding salt to the wound:
214--->'''Harry:''' Whaddaya got, Mac-a-roni?\
215'''Mac:''' Uh, first case, sir, ''People vs. Sheena''. ''[Roz leads in Sheena, a young woman in a hot pink top and purple spandex leggings]'' She's charged with prostitution.\
216'''Harry:''' ''[sarcastically]'' NO.\
217'''Mac:''' Uh-huh.\
218'''Christine:''' ''[to Heather]'' Okay. You don't think that Dan is a sex maniac, you watch this. ''[picks up her case folder and stands on the other side of Sheena to Dan]'' Ready, Your Honour!\
219'''Harry:''' Mr. Prosecutor.\
220'''Dan:''' ''[reading from his case folder, his demeanour pure professionalism]'' Yes, sir, the defendant was arrested in Times Square, she has eight priors, prosecution recommends the maximum. ''[closes his folder]''\
221'''Harry:''' Defence?\
222'''Christine:''' ... that's it? ''[Dan gives her a confused look]'' Uhh, don't you have anything else to say?\
223'''Dan:''' About what?\
224'''Christine:''' "About what?" Oh, come '''on!''' ''[gestures to Sheena's chest]'' Her chest! Her bust! Her '''zoomers!''' ''[{{Beat}}; she {{Facepalm}}s]'' What did I say?...\
225'''Stenographer:''' ''[reading from the record]'' "Oh come on, her chest, her bust, her zoomers."\
226'''Christine:''' Thank you. ''[returns to her spot]''\
227'''Harry:''' Miss Sullivan? The plea?!\
228'''Christine:''' Uh - uh, yeah, Your Honour, my client pleads guilty.\
229'''Harry:''' Fine, $50 fine and time served. ''[bangs his gavel]'' Roz?\
230'''Roz:''' ''[takes Sheena by the arm]'' C'mon, honey, let's go. ''[smirks]'' Zoom, zoom, zoom!
231** At a party that evening hosted by artist and society don Roland Jeffries to which the entire regular cast accompany Heather, Bull both embarrasses and terrifies Roz with his attempts at dancing with her, Mac has to fend off a man who insists he knew him in a past life, and Harry and Dan try to win over Heather. To Harry and Christine's horror, she asks Dan to join her for the weekend:
232--->'''Harry:''' I cannot believe that you would reject ''me'' for someone like Dan Fielding! Worse, you rejected me '''for''' Dan Fielding!
233* Bull wins a toupee of his choice, and selects one called the "[[Creator/WilliamShatner Shatner]] Turbo 2000". It's alters his appearance so drastically, the women on staff suddenly find him attractive. Roz, who didn't recognize him at first, was horrified to realize she was turned on by him.
234* Dan, Mac, and Harry are all in holding on a contempt charge in "Night Off" (ItMakesSenseInContext). A man in a dress approaches them, and looks at Dan, saying, "Let me guess, English Leather." Dan decides to attempt to scare off the man.
235--> '''Dan''': I'm Dan Fielding. I just killed my family.
236--> '''Man in Dress''': ''[Beat]'' Small world.
237* In “Constitution: Part 2,” Bull has scaled the roof to try and get to a delirious Roz. Unfortunately, he does this while she does a delirious mambo on the ledge, accidentally stomping on his hand and sending him falling. Dan, Christine, and Dr. Townsend run over to check on him.
238--> '''Dr. Townsend''': Oh thank God, he caught the flag pole!
239--> '''Dan Fielding''': [[GroinAttack Too bad he didn't catch it with his hands…]]
240--> '''Christine Sullivan''': Bull, are you all right?
241--> '''Bull Shannon''': [[InstantSoprano Can I get back to you on that?]]
242* In the otherwise tearjerker episode "Hello, Goodbye" (first episode of season 3), Bull does some impressive human origami, folding Dan into a near-sphere. Later, when he sobers up, he does apologize: "Sorry I rearranged you."
243* "Harry and the Madam" has a few interesting moments.
244** Harry asks Dan if he has an opening statement in the case of a madam and her ladies of the evening.
245--> '''Dan:''' (reading from a journal) "I trembled with schoolgirl anticipation as he pulled me onto the sofa. And the hand which had once waved to cheering crowds now caressed my naked thigh."
246--> '''Harry:''' One of your better efforts, Mr. Fielding.
247** While talking to the Madam, regarding her journal and all the lives that would be ruined by its publication, she mentioned an Air Force General and his bombers. This gets Harry's wheels turning.
248--> '''Harry:''' (grabs Mac by the shoulders) Bombers, Mac! Bombers!
249--> '''Mac:''' (confused) I'm sure they're ours, sir.
250* Season 7's "My Three Dads," with Harry, Dan ''and'' Bull trying to help Christine in her lamaze class. It'd be easier to list the moments that ''aren't'' belly-laughs.
251** Dan peering in with sunglasses. Jenny, the instructor, greets him, and will soon wish she hadn't.
252--->'''Jenny:''' You can come in! \
253'''Dan:''' I'm just making sure [[ReallyGetsAround none of these women look familiar.]]
254** Christine wants all the "competent help" she can get. And sure enough, that's when Bull bursts in wearing '''scrubs.'''
255--->'''Bull:''' [[IncomingHam ALL RIGHT!!! LET'S HAVE SOME BABIES!!!]]
256** Jenny asks how many in the room have been exercising their vaginal muscles. Multiple women raise their hands... plus Bull.
257--->'''Bull:''' ''[dawning realization]'' Maybe I'm thinking of something else.
258** Following that up, Jenny asks who would know that she's exercising her own right now... and ''of course'' Dan raises his hand.
259--->'''Dan:''' ''[checks watch]'' For the last three minutes, right?
260* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4TiaIBx56bw A case in season 6 requires the identification of sex toys.]] By this point in the series, Mac knows there's only one man for that job -- LovableSexManiac Dan.
261-->'''Mac:''' ''[over the constant whirring of '''something''' from inside a box]'' How do you turn it off? \
262'''Dan:''' I dunno, I usually just fall asleep and let the batteries run down.

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