Follow TV Tropes

Following

Context Funny / NUMB3RS

Go To

1!!General
2* Every time Don starts bickering with a lawyer. [[MoodWhiplash Until he starts getting mad, that is...]]
3* Charlie's analogies in explaining how the math for the MysteryOfTheWeek works. Especially how in later seasons the characters request them in order for him to better dumb down the TechnoBabble.
4* Don and Charlie are two grown men with the former a seasoned [=FBI=] agent and the latter a well-respected mathematician and college professor. Yet like any brothers still act like they're teenagers such as bickering or teasing with each other.
5!!Specifics
6* S2 E8: Though they are talking about Megan's recent trauma, Larry manages to invoke this.
7-->'''Larry:''' This is not even taking into account the double-X chromosome situation.
8-->'''Charlie:''' Situation?
9-->'''Larry:''' Yeah, you know, women have two X chromosomes, men have an X and a so-called Y. But I think if you examine it closely, you'll find, as I have, that the 'Y' is really just an 'X' with a piece missing.
10-->'''Charlie:''' Implying what?
11-->'''Larry:''' Well, since I'm missing that very piece, I may not be qualified to answer, but I think it has something to do with, you know, they're just more sensitive.
12-->'''Charlie:''' Or that they can bear children?
13-->'''Larry:''' Eh, psh, that too, I guess.
14* Sometimes Charlie's need for data can provide a few laughs.
15--> '''Charlie:''' And can I also see all the arson records you have in the L.A. county you have access to for, like, the past year?
16-->''(Beat)''
17-->'''Arson Inspector:''' That's several thousand fires.
18-->'''Larry:''' ''(to Charlie)'' Eh, that's a pretty limited sample.
19-->'''Charlie:''' You know what? Make it the past two years.
20* On a case where a psychic is assisting the FBI and Charlie is extremely skeptical, Larry posits that the psychic's theories may hold some weight. This is Charlie's response:
21-->'''Charlie:''' "What flavor of crazy Kool-Aid do they make you drink in the physics department?"
22* This gem, made even better by the WTF face Charlie pulls when he hears it.
23-->'''Larry:''' Oh, I rarely dream. I mean, every once in awhile I have this recurring dream in which my Aunt Louise is attempting to consume my flesh, but as a general rule, no.
24** The same Aunt Louise had been previously mentioned in 'Harvest', a case involving OrganTheft, when Larry admits to having nightmares about the theft of his organs.
25--->'''Charlie:''' What, was there a monster chasing after you?
26--->'''Larry:''' Well, no, actually, it was my Aunt Louise. But I can still see her even now, wearing this hairnet.
27** And one more joke which may or may not be the same aunt for Larry, in which he says that his aunt is worried about going outside during a spate of sniper attacks with random targets.
28--->'''Charlie:''' Why don't you tell your aunt that statistically, she has a better chance of being mauled by a bear?
29--->'''Larry:''' Actually, statistics would favor [[RussianReversal the bear being mauled by my aunt]].
30* Really, Larry is just a fountain of these. Even when he's not actually present.
31-->'''Amita:''' Oh! By the way, Larry called from his string theory conference. He was confused about something.
32-->'''Charlie:''' What, his double-special relativity theory?
33-->'''Amita:''' No, whether he was in St. Louis or Cleveland.
34-->'''Charlie:''' [[AbsentMindedProfessor He's so geographically challenged.]] Where is his conference?
35-->'''Amita:''' Minneapolis.
36* On the subject of Larry, there's also his literal EurekaMoment in "All's Fair", which leads to him running across campus in his bathrobe yelling "Archimedes! Archimedes!" Made all the funnier by Colby's reaction.
37* Megan's struggle to identify a woman in Season 2 "Bettor or Worse"
38-->'''Megan:''' The coroner's report on our Jane Doe? No traceable dental work. She's never even had a cavity.
39-->'''Don:''' Yeah? So we have a jewel thief who flosses, anything else we can trace? Contact lenses, breast implants...
40-->'''Megan:''' The contact lenses are generic mail-order, so there's no serial number there. And her breasts--believe it or not--are real! In LA! I mean, that wasn't the nose she was born with, which doesn't help us, but at least it will help ME sleep at night.
41* In "Harvest", Colby and David are pursuing a homicide suspect who's a paramedic and using his ambulance as his getaway vehicle. The funny moment comes when David calls for backup:
42-->'''David:''' In pursuit of a homicide suspect driving a red-and-white van-- look, it's an ambulance.
43* In S2 E23, Colby and David are visiting an Asian strip club. They don't exactly blend in. Unfortunately, Colby's method of expressing this... leaves something to be desired.
44-->'''Colby:''' We're the only white people in here.
45-->''(Beat, David looks at Colby)''
46-->'''[[TokenBlackFriend David]]:''' Yes, ''we'' are.
47* Charlie's household experiments and Alan walking in on them.
48** Alan coming in to complain why the house's internet is so slow, only to see Charlie and his helpers wiring a bunch of computers together for parallel processing.
49** While Charlie and Larry are doing some experiments with water pressure by rigging the shower with a hose, Alan walks in hoping to take a bath. After a EurekaMoment, Charlie runs out and Alan complains that he still needs his shower, causing Larry to hold up the hose. Alan isn't amused.
50*** Later becomes a BrickJoke when Charlie has to undo his shower rigging, and Don trying to help.
51* Alan and Larry having to deal with the annual tradition of students dropping pumpkins frozen with liquid nitrogen from the University's rooftops.
52** Followed by Charlie's reaction when Alan and Larry decide at the end of the episode "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em":
53-->'''Amita:''' What was that all about?
54-->'''Charlie:''' The two great adult influences on my life are heading off to blow up pumpkins.
55* In "Finders Keepers", Colby and the others are on the hunt for a boat skipper who has information on what his sunken ship was smuggling. They look for him at his last known location on another boat and don't find him, but as they leave, Colby spots him hiding under the water nearby, breathing through a snorkel. How does Colby get him out? By reaching over and plugging his snorkel tube, so that he's forced to surface.
56* In the episode 'Arrow of Time', several prisoners broke out using a rope made out of dental floss. Liz showed Larry, Charlie, and Amita the rope and this exchange took place:
57-->'''David:''' (referring to a rope made of dental floss) It's 30 feet long...
58-->'''Amita:''' Floss is sold in containers of 20 to 150 yards... (gets questioning glances) I'm an informed shopper.
59-->'''Charlie:''' Just eyeballing the density of this rope, I'm thinking it's gotta be... 18, maybe 19 thousand feet.
60-->'''Larry:''' 3 and a half miles of dental floss, even assuming an average container size of 50 yards...
61-->'''Amita:''' Mm, 127 rolls of floss.
62--> '''Liz:''' You guys find new and special ways to freak me out all the time.
63* The end of the fourth season episode ''Graphic'', featured this exchange between comic book artist [[Creator/ChristopherLloyd Ross Moore]] and Alan Eppes:
64-->'''Alan:''' I -- I have a little trouble picturing you as a hippie.
65-->'''Ross Moore:''' ''(surprised)'' Whaaat??
66-->'''Alan:''' ... Right!
67** In the same episode, David and Colby end up chasing a male suspect [[NakedPeopleAreFunny who bolted in the middle of his shower.]] While chasing the guy down the street:
68-->'''Colby:''' Aw man, who's going to tackle this guy?
69-->'''David:''' ''(glances at Colby)'' Whoever gets there last!
70-->''(Both speed up.)''
71** The chase finally ends when the man tries to carjack two women... [[EpicFail and ends up getting his naked ass kicked by said two women]].
72* 'Black Swan' has a few good quotes when the team are sneaking into a house manned by some suspects, full of bomb-making equipment:
73** Megan, posing as a random citizen, has just crashed into the suspects' car to distract them.
74-->'''Megan:''' Oh my God, this is why you're not supposed to text and drive!
75** Colby is about to climb up the trellis to get into a upper floor window.
76-->'''Colby:''' Yeah. Colby, go down the elevator shaft. Colby, jump in the bay. Hey, Colby, climb the Sixth Street Bridge.
77-->'''David:''' I went out on the bridge with you, okay?
78* A good quote about the RunningGag:
79-->'''David:''' Why do they always run?
80-->'''Colby:''' 'Cause we wear suits, man. You always figure you can outrun a guy in a suit.
81* Alan being a dad raises a smile every now and again.
82-->'''Alan:''' I hear Robin's back in town.\
83'''Don:''' Yeah, I'm really happy she's back.\
84'''Alan:''' Did you tell her that?\
85'''Don:''' Not yet, not in words, no.\
86'''Alan:''' You know, it's guys like you that make Beyonce sing that "Single Ladies" song.
87** In 'Traffic', Don comes home after finally catching the main perpetrator of the case, but right after a moment with Alan, Charlie comes in with information relating to the perpetrator's own traffic case where he was the victim, but has gone unsolved until now. As the brothers delve into the case file, you can hear the "HereWeGoAgain" sounding in Alan's head.
88** And this moment in 'Democracy', after Charlie admits that the recent murder of a colleague isn't bothering him as much as he thinks it should:
89--->'''Alan:''' Great! Now I have two jaded, world weary sons!\
90'''Don:''' And this one's got a shrink to prove it
91** After the house has been broken into and both sons are off to a crime scene:
92--->'''Alan:''' Two sons that solve crimes and neither one cares.
93*** The argument they were having before they discovered the break-in also counts.
94--->'''Charlie:''' I can't believe it. Right in the middle of my lecture!
95--->'''Alan:''' Charlie, I'm as embarrassed as you are
96--->'''Charlie:''' You were snoring!
97*** In the subplot of the episode, Charlie tries all sorts of complicated math such as "Heterogeneous Poisson Process" to try to crack the burglary, only for Don to show up with a box containing the stolen items, having tracked the GPS in Alan Eppes's laptop that was among the items taken.
98* Larry, for some reason, as a [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taiko taiko drum]] in his office which he's playing at the start of "''Longshot''" (3x06)...which is apparently loud enough that Charlie can hear it from ''his office''.
99-->'''Charlie''': ''[Comes bursting in, annoyed]'' Why are you doing that right now?
100-->'''Larry''': ''[Still drumming while in thought]'' Did you know that primitive societies believed in using percussion as a means of communicating with the dead?
101-->'''Charlie''': ''[Loudly over the drum]'' [[SarcasmMode Are you drumming from someone in particular?]]
102-->'''Larry''': [[RhetoricalQuestionBlunder Yes. I'm drumming for the corpse of my inspiration.]]
103-->'''Charlie''': [[DeadpanSnarker And banging bongos worked for Richard Feynman, so...]]
104-->'''Larry''': ''[Solemnly]'' [[ComicallyMissingThePoint Well Feynman delighted in making music. I never percuss for pleasure]].
105* Charlie's examples are always good:
106** The one set in the Arctic and he's wearing an heavy coat.
107** The one in 'Jacked' at a card table where Charlie is wearing a card dealer's outfit with Don and the bad guy sitting at the table wearing tuxedos, sunglasses and smoking big cigars.
108** And occasionally Charlie changes the analogy:
109-->'''Charlie:''' You know I, I've been running expressions assuming a dog chasing a cat. But its actually a dog chasing a cat, chasing a mouse!
110-->'''Ian:''' I thought it was an airplane?!
111-->'''Charlie:''' Oh well, cats and dogs work better now.
112* The Season 5 episode "Sneakerhead", where the whole episode was rather bizarre (they were looking for a specific pair of ''shoes'', for Christ's sake! Well, the shoes ''were'' worth like a quarter of a million dollars, but anyway...), but all of the wtf-ness of the episode was made up for entirely when at the end of the episode, when they've finally pinned the shoes. [[spoiler:The dude who stole them, also the original victim, goes into his closet, takes out a box... and doesn't find them there. They then hear footsteps outside... and find out that the thief's son was ''wearing'' them, in the '''rain'''. Apparently he thought they were a birthday present. The thief says dazedly, "New shoes... $250,000...". One of the agents then replies, "A smile on your kid's face: Priceless".]]
113* David and Nikki attacking the guy built like a sumo wrestler and Liz beating him with a fire hose.
114* The episode "Frenemies" has Charlie reluctantly working a case with his arch rival Marshall Penfield. Naturally the two of them can't stop bickering, prompting a bored Larry to make the following threat:
115-->'''Larry:''' Boys, don't make me pull the Math Car over...
116** From the same episode, David and Colby making fun of Charlie and Marshall for accidentally making a field trip to a crime-in-progress:
117--->'''David:''' (in deep, movie-trailer voice) [[InAWorld In a world]] where mathematicians go mano a mano with a killer--\
118'''Colby:''' (in a slightly raspier, creepier voice) This time, [[ItsPersonal it's personal]]l
119* The B-plot in the episode "Old Soldiers" involves David asking Amita for help buying a suit for an upcoming date, but she has trouble meeting his very... particular tastes. At the end ofthe episode she finds the perfect suit for David -- an old one of Alan's from the 70s that she finds while she and Charlie are helping Alan sort through some old things in the garage.
120* [[ColdSniper Agent Edgerton]] and Don are bickering in front of a suspect about to go into a conversation with some very scary people while wearing a wire.
121-->'''Don:''' Don't worry, you got the fifth-best shot in the world covering your [''expletive deleted''].
122-->'''Edgerton:''' [''holds up shaking hand''] ''Fourth''-best. [''looks at his hand''] You don't want to know how I moved up a spot.
123** What makes it even funnier is that, given Ian's actual marksmanship abilities, it's likely that he was just yanking the guy's chain.
124** And when Edgerton pulls off a shot through a truck window to snipe one of the criminals, he comments that that shot should get him to No. 3.
125* It's dark, but in Season 6 Ep 3, the FBI is investigating a gambling game of Russian Roulette. In order to study the patterns, Charlie and Larry recreate the games with a couple of students, some football helmets and a Nerf gun. When they report their results to the team...
126-->'''Charlie:''' But we didn't kill any students, don't worry.
127-->[David's "Well, duh" face says it all.]
128* Season 6, Episode 9. John Buckley (the mastermind behind the bus hostage situation) is assisting the FBI:
129-->'''Buckley:''' Your brother, he ''really'' doesn't like me.
130-->'''Charlie:''' Well, it takes him a while to warm up to people.
131-->'''Buckley:''' Is that what it is?
132-->'''Charlie:''' [[BluntNo No.]]
133* "Where Credit's Due" follows them as they attempt to locate a killer who is re-enacting scenes from a up-coming movie, which is itself about a series of perfect crimes being committed. [[spoiler:After a whole episode where the team have almost no evidence due to the nature of the crimes, it's eventually revealed to be the writer who was robbed of the original credit for the script. He's arrested as he's working on a new one that Colby takes and reads in the office.]] That's not funny. What happens next is:
134-->'''David:''' Script really that good?
135-->'''Colby:''' Yeah, and you got to read it. You know what's it about?
136-->'''David:''' No, no idea.
137-->'''Colby:''' A prison break.
138-->''(Beat)'' [David makes a face as a thought occurs to him, proceeds to take the script and walks off]
139-->'''Colby:''' What're you doing?
140-->'''David:''' Making a copy. First thing in the morning, I'm sending it to the director of the detention center!
141** The best part was both Colby running after him so he can have back the remaining pages to read and the fact that it may not even be necessary: The real killer boasts that prison will give him all the time he wants to make more scripts, [[NoSuchThingAsBadPublicity his crimes making the movie and him famous]].

Top