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1* Climbing into a locker and then calling Otacon in the Tanker Chapter reveals that the latter [[OnceDoneNeverForgotten hasn't lived down a certain incident]].
2-->'''Snake:''' [[CallBack This reminds me of]] [[VideoGame/MetalGearSolid when we first met]].\
3'''Otacon:''' I was the one inside the locker that time. We're equal now, huh?\
4'''Snake:''' Not unless I [[BringMyBrownPants wet my pants]].\
5'''Otacon:''' [[DudeNotFunny That's a low blow, Snake!]]
6* Pressing R1 or R2 during a Codec sequence plays a brief audio snippet of Snake or Raiden's thoughts on the current matter, with R1 being a positive and R2 being a negative. They're random, but the funniest to get is Raiden's "Whatever!" upon hitting R2. Players can make a game out of pressing the R2 button as Raiden, and upon hearing him shout "Whatever!", immediately skip that entire Codec sequence.
7** Even better is that these positive and negative thoughts are recycled between characters--nothing beats hearing Olga talking at length and finding that Raiden's thinking "I love you~".
8** [[https://youtu.be/mpyw7btInZE?t=1m30s The best timed "Why don't you do it?" in all of MGS2 (starts at 1:29).]]
9* Commandant Dolph being thoroughly unimpressed by Colonel Gurlukovich's MotiveRant.
10-->'''Gurlukovich:''' After the Cold War ended, my home was bought out by the Americans.\
11'''Dolph:''' [[CasualDangerDialog Is there a point to this sad story?]]\
12'''Gurlukovich:''' ''(angrily)'' Not one that you would understand!
13* Another one by Dolph while he introduces the history behind RAY to the Marines. There will be a moment where he says something twice and ends up lampshading it.
14--> '''Dolph:''' I seem to be repeating myself. Chalk it up to old age.
15* "There's a terminal near the elevator: a node." "Did you say "nerd"?" "Not 'nerd', '''node'."'' "Oh."
16** Gets a CallBack in ''VideoGame/MetalGearRisingRevengeance'', with Doktor telling Raiden to "take a DOOMP" and [[DoubleTake taking Raiden off-guard]] (it's a data retrieval process).
17* Anything Johnny Sasaki says in this one.
18** Especially when he tries to appear cool to Emma (see below).
19* Distracting the guards with naughty magazines.
20** For added hilarity, point the directional microphone at them.
21* Raiden disses [[CompanionCube The Box™]].
22-->'''Raiden:''' Pliskin, I saw someone wearing a cardboard box just now...?\
23'''Pliskin:''' A box? I don't know anything about that. You sure you weren't imagining things?\
24'''Raiden:''' Of course I'm sure. Do you think it's one of the members of Dead Cell?\
25'''Pliskin:''' How should I know?\
26'''Raiden:''' I don't want to fight someone like that.\
27'''Pliskin:''' Why not?\
28'''Raiden:''' [[WhoWritesThisCrap Because it looks so dumb. Anyone who's willing to be seen like that must be completely insane.]] I mean, he's a psycho; there's no question about it.\
29'''Pliskin:''' Um, yeah...
30** Later, when you get the box, Snake goes on a tirade about how the cardboard box is the most essential and useful tool in an infiltration mission.
31--->'''Pliskin:''' Look, I'm not exaggerating when I say the success of your mission hinges on how you use that cardboard box.
32** If you listen to Raiden carefully, it sounds like he regrets dissing it and [[LivingLegend its user]] earlier.
33** Also, if you ruin his box, he'll get angry at Raiden for ruining it. "You know, I've lost a couple, thanks to you."
34* It's actually possible to get [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ocGtY9wuUNk peed on]] at one point. Have a codec call right afterwards, and Campbell will apologize. Then Rose will say that it's okay, but that Raiden has to promise to take a shower as soon as he gets back.
35-->'''Colonel''': Ugh... Raiden, my sympathies. Sneaking missions are called "[[IncrediblyLamePun wetworks]]" for a reason, after all.
36** And before that, there's a short cutscene of the guard in question's PottyEmergency:
37--->'''Guard:''' Ugh! Oh! I'm going to go in my pants... Nobody's looking, right?
38* Use the directional mic on E.E. when she's crossing the struts, then call her after that. After that, she runs into Johnny Sasaki and HilarityEnsues. Also, try shooting the cardboard box that you see between the struts, using the codec when you're in the bathroom, [[http://youtu.be/Fj19vB9BjTQ?t=2m37s messing with the projectors in the Tanker]], talking to Otacon (and later Snake) about Pentazemin to cure seasickness, etc.
39-->'''Johnny:''' "Stay away from good-looking women when you're fighting. Otherwise you'll get hit with diarrhea."
40** If you listen to Emma at the right moment, you can hear her talking to herself about Raiden, saying that he's [[ShipTease "easy on the eyes"]], but that she's weirded out by his hair. Have a codec call with her right afterwards, and Raiden will confirm that his hair is in fact not a wig.
41*** Add one of the actual wigs you can unlock in the game, and it's funnier.
42** If you point the mic at Snake, he contemplates whether he should ask for Otacon's permission to date Emma.
43* Particular mention to [[http://www.oocities.org/thegear303/advice.htm Otacon reading Chinese]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hW8QPIId6E8 proverbs.]] He's trying to motivate Snake like Mei Ling did, but it becomes quickly obvious that not only has Otacon never looked at the proverbs before the calls, he also has ''no idea'' what they actually mean.
44* Many of the [[spoiler:AI Colonel]] Codec calls, including [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=68mbFvenlaQ this infamous one:]]
45-->'''[[spoiler:AI Colonel]]:''' I hear it's '''amazing''' when the famous purple stuffed worm in flap-jaw space, with the tuning fork, does a raw blink on Hara-kiri[[note]](said as "Harry-Kerry")[[/note]] Rock. I need scissors! ''61!''
46-->'''[[spoiler:AI Colonel]]:''' I'm not home right now. Please leave a message after the beep. ''[[SayingSoundEffectsOutLoud BEEP!]]''
47** Another one occurs if you get too many [[GameOver game overs]] on your current run, and [[spoiler:AI Colonel]] [[BrutalHonesty REALLY roasts you]] with this one:
48-->'''[[spoiler:AI Colonel]]:''' I noticed this a while back, but you have far too many game overs. Sorry to be blunt, but you really stink at this game.
49* From ''Substance'', there's the Snake Tale "External Gazer", which already has a MindScrew plot about mythical sea monsters and virtual reality missions before the kicker: forcing Snake to play as Raiden as CoolAndUnusualPunishment, with his only hope of survival being to RageQuit.
50* The recap section tells us of the investigator Gary [=McGolden=], and his research into Shadow Moses. However, his exploits are completely hilarious, including swimming 20 miles in an arctic ocean disguised a giant tuna, and the implication that he actually ended up on a different island without realizing it.
51* Using the camera to take photos of the more fanservicey things results in Otacon chiding you for doing it, while making a back up of them, just in case. Also, if you take a picture of the Raven figure or one of the male pinups, Otacon will [[MistakenForGay question Snake's sexuality.]]
52** This, along with the Codec calls from when Raiden is in the various bathrooms, are found in this [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jwjSHk1Q3po&feature=related video]]. The best one is Pliskin being fine with it, saying "anything goes".
53** If you use the Codec while staring at a pinup poster, Snake will be, err.... playing with his "solid snake". Otacon isn't amused.
54---> '''Otacon:''' What do you think your doing Snake? You don't have enough to keep you busy? Try to remember the mission, if YOU can?\
55'''Snake:''' (You were watching?)
56** If you tap a pinup poster's boobs, it will make a bouncy sound. And if you tap a certain other area, it'll automatically trigger an alert.
57** When looking at a picture of an attractive woman as Raiden, then calling the Colonel, he and Rose will get angry at Raiden for "drooling over voluptuous girls". Then we get this gem from Rose:
58--->'''Rose:''' At least use a picture of me instead!\
59'''Raiden:''' Wha—I—[[BigWhat What?!]]\
60'''Rose:''' [[DidIJustSayThatOutLoud I mean—!]]\
61'''Colonel:''' I completely disapprove!
62*** Enter enough codec calls as Raiden while standing in front of a toilet or urinal, and...
63--->[[VideogameCrueltyPunishment I WON'T MAKE YOU SAVE]] / DO NOT SAVE
64*** The Colonel's "conversation" with you if you snap a pic of Jennifer's underwear.
65** Taking multiple pictures of the Commandant has Otacon ask Snake if he's a fan of him.
66--->'''Otacon:''' Look, if you like him so much, I'll print this out and make a panel out of it. Put it over your bed or something.
67*** "Will you PLEASE stop sending me pictures of the Commandant?"
68* Getting caught in one of the rooms full of Marines.
69** Especially if it's by using the projectors.
70** There's also a random chance that one or more of them won't be wearing pants.
71* Calling Snake when he's knocked out or asleep. Unless you get one of [[ShellShockedVeteran his PTSD dreams.]]
72** Try to shoot Snake while he's sleeping.
73--->'''Plisskin''': ''(immediately pointing his gun at Raiden)'' I wouldn't do that if I were you.
74* If you're on a playthrough where Snake and Raiden are wearing sunglasses, they will appear in cutscenes as well, making them really hard to take those scenes seriously.
75* When Raiden asks Pliskin about Vamp, we get a several minutes long retelling of Vamp's tragic backstory, including how as a child he was the only survivor of a terrorist bombing at a church and survived a crucifix piercing his heart, and lived for several days by drinking the blood from his family's dead bodies. Raiden asks if that's how Vamp got his codename, and Plisken says, "No, it's because he's bisexual," leaving both Raiden and the player to have [[{{Beat}} a moment of WTF]].
76* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fj19vB9BjTQ&feature=youtu.be&t=3m33s Slipping on bird droppings on the Big Shell.]]
77** If you shoot at some birds on a bridge: "[[WhatTheHellPlayer Raiden, do you]] [[WhatTheHellHero actually enjoy]] [[VideogameCrueltyPotential abusing helpless animals]]?!"
78* Hitting President Johnson with the [[PlayerGuidedMissile missile launcher]] on the Big Shell is usually good for a laugh.
79** During that same mission, you can make one of the hostages [[BringMyBrownPants pee her pants.]]
80*** Using the directional mic to the left of [[spoiler:Ocelot and Solidus]] allows you to eavesdrop on Johnny having a less-than-great time in the bathroom.
81---->'''Johnny:''' ''(in a completely anguished tone of voice)'' Awww... there's no paper...
82* The "naked Raiden" section is [[NakedPeopleAreFunny good for several laughs]]:
83** Raiden can't choke enemies or hang from ledges because they require the use of both of his hands, preventing him from [[HandOrObjectUnderwear preserving his modesty]]. If you contact the Colonel, he explains that Raiden can't do either because it would result in "...complications", [[LeaningOnTheFourthWall as if he's trying to avoid damaging whatever remains of the fourth wall]].
84** If you get caught while sneaking around naked in Arsenal Gear, you can run back to the interrogation room and pretend that Raiden is still shackled. This shifts to a view where [[SceneryCensor Raiden's intimate regions are covered by only a straw positioned right in front of the camera]]. Any guards that follow you in will dismiss the alert, but not before staring and muttering that they "[[BiggerIsBetterInBed wish I had that...]]"
85** There are also dedicated VR missions featuring naked Raiden. If you get caught/fail the mission, the subsequent failure screen will feature ''police sirens!'' Yes, Raiden; most people frown upon publicly streaking.
86* Escorting Emma can be a pain in the butt, and the Colonel can suggest that you knock her out to drag her through the sea lice (or any other dangers that lie ahead). Using the M9 to put Emma to sleep is an obvious choice, but you can also knock her unconscious by punching her. Pistol whipping works too, even if you use the huge and heavy Nikita missile launcher; one swing is enough to knock the poor girl out.
87** "WE'VE MANAGED TO AVOID DROWNING." Yes, it's {{Narm}}, but it is fucking ''hysterical,'' especially with Raiden's delivery.
88* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XtlL-Ytyu0U This moment]], where Raiden, in a Codec conversation with Otacon, gets pissed about Snake and trash-talks him with enough of an angered tone that you'd almost think he'd start a brawl if he saw Snake again. Not realizing, of course, that Snake is right next to Otacon and can hear every word. What makes it even better is that as soon as Otacon reveals that fact, the Codec switches to Snake, perfectly silent with a DeathGlare on his face, and Creator/QuintonFlynn manages the perfect shift from pissed to terror within a single sentence.
89-->'''Otacon:''' Ha ha. You know, you're a pretty interesting guy. You're just like Snake said.\
90'''Raiden:''' ...What did he say?\
91'''Otacon:''' [[BrutalHonesty That you're a weak, simple-minded, stubborn fool.]]\
92'''Raiden:''' A-- A weak, simple-minded...\
93'''Otacon:''' [[BlatantLies Ah, don't worry, he didn't mean anything bad by it.]]\
94'''Raiden:''' ''"Nothing bad"?'' What could possibly be worse than that? That lying, useless, backstabbing, mincing son of a—\
95'''Otacon:''' Raiden, I'm his friend. I know him better than anyone else. I know he's not that kind of guy.\
96'''Raiden:''' Yeah, so what?\
97'''Otacon:''' And, by the way... there's one more thing you should probably know about Snake.\
98'''Raiden:''' What?\
99'''Otacon:''' [[WhamLine He's right here.]]\
100'''Raiden:''' ...[[OhCrap Next to you?]]\
101'''Otacon:''' Yep.\
102'''Raiden:''' Did he hear...\
103'''Otacon:''' Every word.\
104'''Snake:''' ...\
105'''Raiden:''' I'm, uh, I'm just gonna get back to the mission now...
106* During [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RJki0bxZTQk#t=3m12s one]] of the Photograph VR Missions, you're instructed to take a photograph of the killer who left [[MookHorrorShow a mess of Gurlukovich's troops]] ([[spoiler:including Raiden himself]]) in the Shell 1 Core conference hall from a selection of people who can be seen beyond a window, showing the most likely culprits... [[spoiler: except [[NotMeThisTime none of the MGS2 villains are the culprit at all]], and instead the one responsible is ''freakin' President James Johnson.'' He even performs an uncanny backflip when you look at him long enough, providing the extra hint needed to confirm that he's the culprit to boot!]] The most prominent clue in the crime scene is the best part: [[spoiler: every victim, including [[ButtMonkey Raiden]], is clutching his crotch! [[SarcasmMode Gee, who do we know who did that in the game?]] ]]
107* This game introduces the M9 silenced tranquilizer pistol, giving players a way to neutralize enemy guards in a non-lethal manner. If the player sticks around long enough, the victim's radio will go off with messages from his commanding officer asking why he hasn't given his regularly-scheduled status report yet, followed by sending a backup team to investigate. Should the backup personnel discover the sleeping guard, they'll wake him up, but rather than reprimanding him for slacking off on the job or investigating why he inexplicably fell asleep, [[TheGuardsMustBeCrazy the backup leaves and everything goes back to normal (i.e. no Caution status) like nothing happened]]!

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