Line #8 Funny/MeetTheParents


1	!!For ''Meet the Parents'' (2000):
2	* When put on the spot to say grace, Greg simply quotes the song "Day by Day" by Godspell. You can actually hear the song playing earlier in the drugstore.
3	* "You can milk anything with nipples." "I have nipples, Greg. Could you milk me?"
4	* "Mr. Winky is still on Chicago time, and we both know there's only one way to make Mr. Winky go away...Jack knocks on the door...and there it is".
5	* TheReasonYouSuckSpeech that Greg gives the flight attendant. Ending up with him being removed from the plane.
6	-->'''Flight Attendant''': I'm sorry, sir. You're gonna have to check that.\
7	'''Greg''': I got it.\
8	'''Flight Attendant''': No, I'm sorry. That bag won't fit.\
9	'''Greg''': No, I'm not — hey. I'm not checking my bag, okay?\
10	'''Flight Attendant''': There's no need to raise your voice, sir.\
11	'''Greg''': I'm not raising my voice. ''THIS'' WOULD BE RAISING MY VOICE TO YOU! Okay?! I don't wanna check my bag! By the way, your airline — you suck at checking bags. Because I already did that once, and you lost it, and then I had everything screwed up very badly for me. Okay?\
12	'''Flight Attendant''': I can assure you that your bag will be placed safely below deck with the other luggage.\
13	'''Greg''': Oh, yeah? How do you know my bag will be safe below with the other luggage? Are you physically gonna take my bag beneath the plane? Are you gonna go with the guys with the earmuffs and put it in there?\
14	'''Flight Attendant''': No.\
15	'''Greg:''' No? Okay. Then shut your pie hole and listen to me when I say that I am ''finished'' with the checking-of-the-bags conversation!\
16	'''Flight Attendant:''' Sir, we have a policy on this airline that if a bag is this large, we--\
17	'''Greg:''' Get your grubby little paws off of my bag, okay?! It's not like I have a bomb in here! It's not like I want to blow up the plane!\
18	'''Flight Attendant''': Sir!\
19	'''Greg''': I wanna stow my bag according to your safety regulations.\
20	'''Flight Attendant''': Sir! Sir!\
21	'''Greg''': If you would take a second and take the little sticks out of your head and clean out your ears, maybe you would see that I'm a person who has feelings. And all I have to do is do what I wanna do! All I wanna do is hold onto my bag and not listen to you! The only way that I would ever let go of my bag would be if you came over here now and tried to pry it from my dead, lifeless fingers! Okay? If you can get it from my kung fu grip, then you can have it. Okay? Otherwise, step off, bitch!\
22	''[Cut to Greg being forcibly removed by Airport Security while everyone watches in shock by his behavior.]''
23
24	!!For ''Meet the Fockers'':
25	* Many consider it in the second film, when Little Jack says "Ass....hoooole" with that expressive mouth.
26	* "Check it out! He's got a rubber boobie!" Said by a redneck cop after [[spoiler: Greg, Bernie, and Jack are arrested for failure to cooperate with a cop who pulled the former two over for speeding,]] and the cops are searching Jack's RV.
27	* The entire dinner conversation between the Byrnses and the Fockers.
28	* While Jack holds up a book written by her titled ''Is Your Vagina Happy?'', he says, "And I'm not so sure Roz is a yoga instructor, either."
29	* Greg making an ass of himself while high on truth serum.
30	* Greg mocking Jack on hidden camera at the end of the first two movies and his Website/YouTube roast of Jack in the third (complete with a dance remix).
31	* Jack encourages Greg to test out the new safety glass on his RV by hurling a brick at it. Greg does as he's told. It bounces right off the window, and smashes the windshield on Greg's car.
32	** The best part of the gag is Greg refusing to buy insurance for his rental car, on the basis that [[TemptingFate he wouldn't need it]]. Jack's response to the broken windshield is "Ah, well, your rental insurance will cover it."
33	* During the climax of the second film, Jack is trying to leave the island because [[spoiler: Greg, while drugged with truth serum, revealed that Pam was pregnant]]. Upon this revelation Bernie goes {{Papa Wolf}} on Jack. Readying himself to fight Jack with [[CallBack a martial art he was practicing at the start of the film]]. Of course, being the smart man he is, he realizes he needs to do something before the action. Leading to the following quote immediately after threatening to kick Jack's ass.
34	-->'''Bernie:''' [[spoiler: Just give me a moment to stretch.]]
35
36	!!For ''Little Fockers'':
37	* While backing up a dump truck, Greg accidentally hits the wrong lever and ends up literally burying Jack under a mountain of sand!
38	* In the epilogue, Jack finds a video of Greg roasting him and seems to think it's ActuallyPrettyFunny.

Context Funny / MeetTheParents