Line #30 Funny/MadWorld


1	* ANYTHING said by the Commentators Howard and Kreese... [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=982dFZJSnWw Which is to say]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GJYJBoYDfFE 99% of the game]]. You can just tell that Greg Proops and John [=DiMaggio=] were having the time of their lives playing Howard and Kreese!
2	-->'''Howard:''' It's my favorite time of day again!\
3	'''Kreese:''' Ooh, time to huff some paint?\
4	'''Howard:''' No.\
5	'''Kreese:''' Time to take a dump?\
6	'''Howard:''' No.\
7	'''Kreese:''' Well then I give up, what time is it?\
8	'''Howard:''' Time for another Bloodbath Challenge!\
9	'''Kreese:''' Whatever - if you need me, [[BreadEggsBreadedEggs I'll be taking a dump while huffing some paint]]...\
10	'''Howard:''' So predictable.
11
12	** You also have this:
13	-->'''Howard:''' Jack is ramming himself against [[MirrorBoss Kojack]]!\
14	'''Kreese:''' So basically, Jack is [[ScrewYourself ramming himself against himself]]. We are watching the most violent masturbation ever!\
15	'''Howard:''' (Chuckles) ''[[{{Squick}} This is nothing...]]''
16
17	** And this:
18	-->'''Kreese:''' More proof that there's nothing a liberal dose of pharmaceuticals won't fix! [[AC:This message is brought to you by drugs. Drugs: take them often and indiscriminately.]]
19
20	** And you get the drill by now:
21	-->'''Kreese:''' Kojack is just [[EvilTwin evil Jack]], and [[EvilIsCool evil makes everything BETTER]]!"
22
23	** Here's some more:
24	-->'''Howard''': That last blow messed up the Baron's shades!
25	-->'''Kreese''': Yeah I lost a pair of shades just like-son of a bitch!
26
27	* Speaking of Kojack, this dialog can play after you do the QTE to beat him [[spoiler:By tossing his bike at him, causing it and Kojack to blow up.]]
28	-->'''Kreese:''' [[BigNo NOOOOO!!!]] This is horrible!
29	-->'''Howard:''' I know you were rooting for Kojack but this is ridiculous.
30	-->'''Kreese:''' Fuck Kojack! He said if he won I could have his bike... I figured if he got killed, I could take his bike from him anyway. I couldn't lose... NOW I HAVE NOTHING!!!
31	* The banter leading into the first boss:
32	-->'''Kreese:''' Y'know what I don't get? I don't get why they call him Little Eddie [[NonIndicativeName when he's so fuckin' big.]]\
33	'''Howard:''' I think it's supposed to be [[IronicName ironic.]]\
34	'''Kreese:''' What?\
35	'''Howard:''' You know, the use of words to express something other than, and especially the opposite of, the literal meaning, usually a humorous or sardonic literary style or form.\
36	'''Kreese:''' You got beat up in school a lot, didn't you?\
37	'''Howard:''' ''(weakly)'' Yes.
38	* Even though he's referred to as one of the worst bosses in the game, Martin does have two funny moments.
39	** In the final power struggle, the final missle has a grey alien riding it like in [[Film/DrStrangelove Dr. Strangelove]] while [[FlippingTheBird flipping the bird]] and repeatedly saying "Fuck You!" as it chases Jack around the arena.
40	** The commentary is also hillarious; Martin apparently had missles firing from his crotch but the censors made him change it because it wasn't "family-friendly". Now it's a ''buzzsaw''!
41	** After Jack lands the killing blow on it, a giant sex-appeal billboard falls on Martin. Jack just stares and walks away.
42	* Just as the FinalBoss is ready to be fought:
43	-->'''Kreese:''' [[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment There can only be one number one]] [[ThereCanOnlyBeOne in this fight to the death!]]\
44	'''Howard:''' [[CaptainObvious Well, DUH!]] It's ''a mathematical fact'' that ''there can only be one number one!''\
45	'''Kreese:''' For the last '''fucking''' time, '''''[[NowYouTellMe NOBODY SAID THERE'D BE MATH!!!!!!!]]'''''\
46	'''Both:''' (singing) ''III BLAAAME OOOUR SCHOOOOOLS!''
47	* Although [[TheStoic Jack]] is a little TOO straight-laced to really match the zaniness of Howard, Kreese, or the Baron, his sheer [[DeadpanSnarker Deadpan Snarkiness]] more than makes up for it: for example, in the opening cutscene of level two, after Agent XIII demanded to know where Jack ran off to:
48	--> '''Jack:''' [[DeadpanSnarker I had to take a piss. What, is "no pissing" part of my contract?]]
49	** And at the start of the [[UsefulNotes/LasVegas Casino Land]] level:
50	--> '''Jack:''' (Riding up on his motorcycle) So... this is the strip. [[AllMenArePerverts Think I have enough time for a lap-dance?]]
51	--> '''[[MissionControl Amala]]:''' ({{facepalm}}ing) [[AllWomenArePrudes Perv...]]
52	* The lead-in banter for [[VampiresAreSexGods Elise]] gives us this great exchange, with an inherently [[MemeticMutation memetic]] phrase to boot:
53	-->'''Kreese''': I fought her in the east block games and lost the match; four pints of plasma, and I was declared legally dead for a week!\
54	'''Howard''': [[ComicallyMissingThePoint Awesome rack on her, though!]]\
55	'''Kreese''': Ah, true that! [[DistractedByTheSexy While you're blinded by her headlights]], she'll sic a swarm of bastard bats on you to mess up your shit! Plus, the fuckers have fleas!\
56	'''Howard''': [[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment Awesome rack on her, though!]]\
57	'''Kreese''': True that!
58	* In the introduction for the Maintenance Facility stage:
59	-->'''Howard''': Information about this area is limited, since anyone whose ever known about this place has either disappeared or been lobotomized. Judging by your comments throughout the course of this event, I'd have to guess the latter in your case, Kreese.\
60	'''Kreese''': ''Fuck you!'' ({{beat}}) ...but yeah, that would kinda explain a lot of things: the blurred vision, the metal plate in my head, the mysterious foreign object up my ass-\
61	'''Howard''': Oh, the last one's mine. Be sure to rinse that off when you're done.\
62	'''Kreese''': [[[{{Squick}} dry heave]]]
63	* In the Asiantown stage, whenever Jack rescues one of the geishas, she runs up and plants a SmoochOfVictory on his lips. Jack being [[TheStoic Jack]], his only reaction is to essay a small wave as she runs off, as if to say, "Oh. Hey. Sup. You're welcome."
64	* The introduction to the Dungeon:
65	-->'''Howard:''' [[AddedAlliterativeAppeal Callously carved cadavers, violent vivisections]] and just plain crazy science gone wrong!
66	-->'''Kreese:''' SCIENCE!
67	-->'''Howard:''' That's what's behind the blood-splattered walls of the castle's monsterous laboratory. Anyone dumb enough to wander into this basement butcher shop unprepared is likely to wind up with an electrode up his ass and six pig tits grafted to his back!
68	-->'''Kreese:''' Seven.
69	-->'''Howard:''' Huh?
70	-->'''Kreese:''' Seven pig tits. They sewed one on my stomach too.
71	-->'''Howard:''' Dude, awesome! (''silently'') Can I touch it?
72	-->'''Kreese:''' Go ahead.
73	* [[CreativeClosingCredits The first section of the credits sequence]] has Howard and Kreese [[BreakingTheFourthWall riff on the]] [[SelfDeprecation game's developers,]] providing some of their funniest banter in the entire game:
74	-->'''Howard''': They say programmers speak the language of computers because nobody else will speak to them!\
75	'''Kreese''': [[DeadpanSnarker I didn't know you were a programmer.]]\
76	\
77	'''Howard''': ''(to Lead Character Designer)'' Hey, I know that guy from my "How to Draw For Slow Learners" class!\
78	'''Kreese''': [[BookDumb I didn't have good enough grades to get into that class.]]\
79	\
80	'''Howard''': Animators are the guys who bring the action to life!\
81	'''Kreese''': I think you mean they're the guys who get no action their whole life.\
82	'''Howard''': Yeah, what did I say?\
83	\
84	'''Kreese''': ''(to Additional Writing)'' Hey look at this, the spell-checker gets a credit too.\
85	\
86	'''Kreese''': ''(to Storyboard Artist)'' This guy's storyboards remind me of the work of a famous artist.\
87	'''Howard''': A classic or modern artist?\
88	'''Kreese''': Nah, I was thinking of that gorilla at the zoo who draws pictures with his own shit?\
89	'''Howard''': [[InsultToRocks This guy's not that good.]]\
90	\
91	'''Kreese:''' "Frame designers"? These guys couldn't frame [[DepravedBisexual Howard]] for sex crimes!\
92	'''Howard:''' Wow, they must ''really'' suck!\
93	\
94	'''Kreese:''' They had ''one'' guy working on the [[BloodyHilarious blood effects]]?!? He musta been workin' 24-7!

Context Funny / MadWorld