Line #80 Funny/JackieChanAdventures


1	[[foldercontrol]]
2
3	[[folder:Season 1]]
4	[[AC:The Dark Hand]]
5	* Uncle tells Jackie "One more thing!" for over a full minute, with Jackie becoming increasingly irritated with every repetition.
6	-->'''Uncle:''' One more thing, this is Jade, your niece. She will live with you for a year, okay?\
7	'''Jackie:''' Okay. ''(beat)'' I have a niece?!
8	** Before that, [[EstablishingCharacterMoment this is how Uncle is introduced]]...He summons Jackie & asks him for a hug. When Jackie proceeds to hug him, however, Uncle smacks him in the head over not making his morning coffee.
9	** Jackie's cousin sent Jade to live with him for an entire year, but decided ''not'' to ''ask him first'' because (according to Uncle) they… [[InsaneTrollLogic didn’t want to bother him]].
10	* When Captain Black tells Jackie that their current location must remain secret, Jackie responds like this:
11	-->'''Jackie:''' [[DeadpanSnarker Yes, I can see that this is some very special garbage.]]
12	* When Jackie is knocked down after stopping Jade from hijacking a moped, Captain Black checks to see if he's alright.
13	-->'''Captain Black:''' [[HowManyFingers How many fingers am I holding up?]]\
14	'''Jackie:''' [[NonSequiturThud ... Look, fishies.]]
15	* When Jade breaks into Section 13, Captain Black only has this to say:
16	-->'''Captain Black:''' Would someone care to tell me how our security was penetrated by a child?
17	* Also, when Valmont has Tohru punish his Enforcers for their failure, you can see him casually checking his manicure.
18	-->'''Valmont:''' [[LetMeGetThisStraight You mean to tell me]] that three of my best enforcers, armed with cutting edge high tech weaponry, were defeated by an ''{{a\|dventureArchaeologist}}rchaeologist''?\
19	[''Main/{{Beat}}'']\
20	'''Finn:''' Did we mention he had [[ImprovisedWeapon windshield wipers?]]
21	* A running gag through this episode is Jackie trying to get somewhere, only for somebody to beat him there. When asked on how they got there, they all respond in a deadpan tone.
22	-->'''Jade/Black/Tohru:''' The stairs.
23
24	[[AC:The Power Within]]
25	* Never. Mock. The cookie.
26	** The hilarious comeback in Season 3. "Never. Mock. The sock."
27	* Jackie forces Jade to apologize for creating a disturbance in the restaurant.
28	-->'''Jackie:''' My niece is very sorry. ''(picks up Jade)'' Aren't you, niece?\
29	'''Jade:''' I am such a dork.
30	* Jackie tries to tell Jade to slow down while eating her dinner.
31	-->'''Jade:''' Hello? Chew ''soup''!?
32	* This exchange while Jackie and Jade are being chased by Shadowkhan.
33	-->'''Jade:''' Aren't you gonna whomp 'em?\
34	'''Jackie:''' Ancient proverb: Do not fight when you can run!
35
36	[[AC:The Mask of El Toro Fuerte]]
37	* On a plane in-flight, Jade kicks a man, knocking him unconscious.
38	-->'''Jade:''' I'm Jackie Chan... [[OhCrap and you're the pilot]].
39
40	[[AC:Enter the Viper]]
41	* Viper's introduction shows the vast difference in her and Jackie's styles: She avoids her LaserHallway with a smooth series of elegant and nimble flips and twirls, while Jackie awkwardly lifts and moves his legs through the gaps and contorts his body to follow suit while just barely maintaining his balance. They also have different ways to disable the security. Viper uses high-tech machines, whereas Jackie uses the foil from a chewing gum wrapper ("Yum! Wintergreen!") along with lightly tapping the pedestal where the Snake Talisman resides before swapping it with a Statue of Liberty souvenir.
42	* This interaction between Ratso and Jackie, when they were still new to each other:
43	-->'''Ratso:''' Chan!\
44	'''Jackie:''' You! Uh... Dark Hand guy!
45	* Both Jade and Ratso's failed attempts to give a cryptic conversation to Jackie, with the latter unable to understand them until they get straight to the point.
46	-->'''Jade:''' The big meow is comfy cozy.\
47	'''Jackie:''' What?\
48	'''Jade:''' The cat is in the bag.\
49	'''Jackie:''' What?\
50	'''Jade:''' ''[annoyed]'' I have the Pink Puma!\
51	(later)\
52	'''Ratso:''' Hello bro.\
53	'''Jackie:''' What do you want?\
54	'''Ratso:''' What rock is the legless reptile under?\
55	'''Jackie:''' What?\
56	'''Ratso:''' Tell me where the serpent sleeps.\
57	'''Jackie:''' What are you talking about?!\
58	'''Ratso:''' ''[annoyed]'' '''''Where's the snake talisman?!'''''
59
60	[[AC:Shell Game]]
61	* There was a nice moment when Jackie defeats Ratso's crane and confronts him directly.
62	-->'''Ratso:''' ''[raises arms]'' Uncle!\
63	'''Jackie:''' Where? ''[looks around in panic]''
64	* Shendu furiously berating the Enforcers and then breathing fire at them provokes this reaction:
65	-->"Whoa! I did ''not'' know he could do that."
66	* Jade gets caught trying to escape with the giant tortoise [[ItMakesSenseInContext while holding a carrot]].
67	-->'''Jade:''' [[WesternAnimation/BugsBunny Uh... what's up, Doc]]?
68
69	[[AC:Project A, for Astral]]
70	* When Jackie is able to jump to safety after running up a train that was falling off a bridge the Dark Hand blew up:
71	-->'''Ratso:''' No way he's human.
72	* This dialogue:
73	-->'''Ratso:''' Yeah, but findin' Section 13 ain't gonna be as easy as snatchin' the Talisman out of some sleepin' kid's hand.\
74	'''Valmont:''' [[DeadpanSnarker Did that occur before or after]] [[BlatantLies Chan chucked the bus?]] [[note]]The Enforcers had originally told him that they had to fight Jackie for the Talisman, and that he "threw a bus" at them.[[/note]]
75	* While Captain Black is with the (Shendu-possessed) Jade at Melvin World:
76	-->'''Guy in Moose Costume:''' Okay, now smiiiile for the camera!\
77	'''Possessed Jade:''' [[Film/EvilDead2 Soon I will devour your soul.]]\
78	'''Guy in Moose Costume:''' ''(Gasps and sobs)''
79	* Jackie trying to prove to Captain Black that Jade (who was [[DemonicPossession possessed by Shendu]] at the moment) is "evil". Jackie's expressions and gestures make it even better.
80	-->'''Jackie:''' I'll prove it to you! ''(Beat, then he grabs a guy in a Melvin Moose costume)'' WHAT'S THE MOOSE'S NAME?! THE NAME?!\
81	'''Shendu (in Jade's body):''' Urgh...\
82	'''Jade (in astral form):''' I'll give ya a hint. Another word for wedgie.\
83	'''Jackie:''' You can't name it, can you?! ''(Pushes moose away)'' You're evil, YOU'RE EVIL!
84	** Even better, this comes while Jackie is very sleep-deprived. To everyone who doesn't know Jade's possessed (read: everyone), Jackie comes off as having completely lost his mind.
85
86	[[AC:Bullies]]
87	* When Uncle first visited Section 13:
88	-->'''Uncle:''' Captain Black, your place is too big! I have to walk very far to get to the bathroom!
89	* And later:
90	-->'''Uncle:''' Ai-yah! There is no privacy here! I put my bao in the refrigerator and somebody ate it!
91	* Jackie trolling Valmont by throwing his gold bricks into the water.
92
93	[[AC:The Rock]]
94	* After the Enforcers returned from an unsuccessful Talisman in the Arctic:
95	-->'''Finn''': Big V, think you can turn up the heat?
96	-->'''Shendu''': Allow me. ''(Breathes fire at the Enforcers)''
97	-->'''Finn''': That's plenty!
98	-->'''Ratso''': Much obliged.
99	* Uncle making Jackie swallow a fermented beetle larva and Jackie running to throw up and tripping. Then Uncle revealing that wasn't actually the cure, just good protein.
100	* After drinking a potion made by Uncle to cure his condition, Jackie makes odd facial expressions, and notice Uncle & Jade looking at him strangely.
101	-->'''Jackie :''' What? What is it?
102	-->'''Uncle:''' Nothing... D-Don't look in the mirror!
103	-->'''Jackie (predictable looks at a mirror and sees himself covered in reptilian scales):''' Wha? OOOOOHHHH!
104	-->'''Uncle:''' I told you not to look in the mirror!
105	-->'''Jackie:''' I am a lizard! I will become a stone lizard!
106	* During the big fight at the end of the episode, Tohru ends up rolling down the stairs... twice.
107
108	[[AC:The Dog and Piggy Show]]
109	* The scene where Hak Foo acquires the [[EyeBeams Pig Talisman]], and begins yelling "[[CallingYourAttacks Heat Beam Eye Blasts]]!" every five seconds.
110	** The best part is the first time he says it, before looking at the Talisman and looking completely befuddled.
111	--->'''Hak Foo:''' Heat Beam Eye Blasts? ... Heat-beam eye blasts!
112	* Speaking of Hak Foo, we have this gem:
113	--> '''Hak Foo:''' Angry crow takes flight! ''(jumps at Uncle)''
114	--> '''Uncle:''' Thank you for sharing, angry crow!
115	--> ''[[SingleStrokeBattle (Uncle knocks Hak down with one kick)]]''
116	** Hak Foo gets apt revenge seconds later.
117	---> '''Hak Foo:''' Elephant thrusts its leg! ''(floors Uncle with a punch)'' I meant ''fist''.
118	* Jackie tells Tohru two benefits about joining Section 13: a good dental plan and donuts on Thursdays. Better yet, the latter eventually becomes the reason for his HeelFaceTurn.
119	* After Uncle's birthday, Jackie and Jade chat:
120	-->'''Jade:''' Has Uncle always been so, well, [[BuffySpeak Unclely]]?
121	-->'''Jackie:''' No, when Uncle was young, he was just like me.
122	-->'''Jade:''' Does that mean you're going to be grouchy, constipated, and smell of garlic when you're Uncle's age?
123	-->'''Jackie:''' (''groans'') Jade, respect your elders! Both of us!
124
125	[[AC:The Tiger and the Pussycat]]
126	* The episode opens with Jackie popping up from behind a table of pies, jabbing repeatedly at them with a fork. In the most concerned voice with a haunted expression, he says 'The Tiger Talisman is inside one of these pies.' The utterly troubled way he says it coupled with the absurdity of such a situation [[NoodleIncident which is never explained]] is hilarious.
127	** Equally funny is the pie contest itself. Tohru has joined in, and is scarfing down the desserts on one bite each. Jade is furiously devouring hers with a fork in each hand. An old man, the original competitor, is eating his one slice of pie very very slowly. And Jackie? Not even trying to eat his, just continuing to jab his with a fork. The kicker? The old man is the one to find the talisman!
128	* After Jackie is split in half by the Tiger Talisman, Uncle tells them to put the two halves together, so they can turn back into one Jackie. Both Jackies refuse. Dark Jackie doesn't want to share a body with a wimp ("I am the Dark side! I murdered a bug!"), and Light Jackie hates Dark Jackie's lack of manners (he burps without saying "excuse me"!). Since they both disobeyed him, Uncle gives them his trademark [[DopeSlap two-fingered strike]], and then Dark Jackie returns the favor. The two start hitting each other as Light Jackie and Jade watch dumbfounded.
129	* Light Jackie's reaction to being kidnapped and forced into a car:
130	--> "Are those seats real leather? ''(cries)'' Oh, the poor cows!
131	* Uncle explaining how the Tiger Talisman functions.
132	-->'''Uncle:''' Within each of us lies conflicting forces: yin and yang, light and dark, good and evil.\
133	'''Jade:''' Tch! Like Jackie has a dark side.\
134	'''Jackie:''' [[DeadpanSnarker I do. Her name is Jade]].\
135	'''[[SayingSoundEffectsOutLoud Jade]]:''' [[Main/RimShot ba-dum-ching]].
136
137	[[AC:Day of the Dragon]]
138	* Why does Tohru make his HeelFaceTurn at the end of Season 1? ''Jackie told him there were free doughnuts at Section 13.''
139	** Though of course, the other reason was that Valmont almost got Tohru killed by Shendu.
140	* Uncle gives Jackie a potion that will allow him to remove the talismans from Shendu. Jackie asks seriously if Uncle thinks he can do it; Uncle responds he needs to be cunning like Jade. Cue Jackie giving an uncomfortable, ''Now you tell me'' look.
141	* The RunningGag of Captain Black wanting to provide backup support for Jackie. Uncle orders the men not to fire; Shendu is immortal, so all they'll do is annoy him, and that "MagicMustDefeatMagic." When the Captain starts to tell them fire anyway the third time, Uncle uses a [[PressurePoint Vulcan Nerve Pinch]] to knock him out and asks who else wants a piece of him. The men sensibly lower their guns.
142	* Many highlights during the actual battle:
143	** Jackie grabs the sheep talisman first, and accidentally activates its AstralProjection powers, leaving his body prone. He asks ''why'' did he grab that one first?!
144	** When Jackie grabs the Monkey Talisman out of Shendu, he turns Shendu into a rabbit. He can't help but remark, "Cute" with a smile. Shendu, still with his powers, [[KillerRabbit proceeds to turn invisible and beat the crap out of Jackie]]. Then he grabs the talisman and changes himself back, but can't reabsorb it.
145	** Jackie's DelayedReaction when Jade compliments him on grabbing the strength talisman. At first, he thanks her and then asks why his niece is on the battlefield. No time to ponder, however, since Shendu grabs him.
146	** When Jade and Jackie team up to return Shendu to stone, he promises to get revenge on them. Cue Jade defying WhyDontYouJustShootHim and destroying his form with the Dragon talisman. Later, when Uncle gives Jackie a DopeSlap for that happening, he just says, "Jade did it." Cue her disgruntled look while acknowledging yeah, he's got a point.
147	** Uncle then reveals why destroying Shendu is a bad idea: it creates a power vacuum that will allow another evil to take place. Everyone goes ThisIsGonnaSuck, including Captain Black and his men.
148	[[/folder]]
149
150	[[folder:Season 2]]
151	[[AC:Through the Rabbit Hole]]
152	* Jackie goes to retrieve Jade after she accidentally uses the rabbit talisman to go back in time. He discovers a ransom note from Finn, Ratso, and Chow, and his first reaction is to ask himself "What are ''they'' doing here?"
153	[[AC:The Stronger Evil]]
154	* When the Dark Hand are getting away in their van, Jackie and Jade are tailing them. On Hak Foo's orders, Ratso places the Snake Talisman in the van's cassette player, hoping for them to go invisible, but all that happens is the van itself becomes invisible, causing Chow to grab onto Hak Foo in fear.
155	-->'''Ratso:''' ...it was worth a shot.
156	* Finn had both the Dog and Horse Talisman, calling it very redundant to have seemingly similar Talisman. He is proven [[HilariouslyWrong wrong]] by getting slammed into an entrance to a tunnel, saying that "Immortality Hurts".
157	[[AC:The J-Team]]
158	* When Uncle sees that Tohru and Jade followed him and Jackie to Tibet to fight Shendu and the Dark Hand, Uncle asks who's watching his shop. The scene cuts over to Captain Black sitting in Uncle's library, reading a book about chi spells.
159	** [[BrickJoke The episode ends]] with Captain Black accidentally turning himself into a frog.
160	* The fight between the J-Team and the Talisman-powered Dark Hand in the Tibetan Temple is both this and a SugarWiki/MomentOfAwesome. Highlights include:
161	** Ratso using the Rabbit Talisman to ram into El Toro, only for the masked wrestler to simply [[DeadlyDodging step aside]], and he runs into a wall.
162	--->'''Ratso:''' Gotta work on the breaks.
163	** Upon losing his Talismans, Ratso tries borrowing one from Finn, who's busy fighting Jackie. Distracted, Jackie ''and Ratso'' steal all three of Finn's Talismans.
164	** Chow steals the Pig Talisman from Jackie, and tries to use the power of eye beams, only to destroy his glasses and have difficulty aiming due to his poor eyesight, and he gets kicked down by Viper.
165	** This exchange between Tohru and Hak Foo (who has the Tiger Talisman):
166	--->'''Hak Foo:''' Yin-Yang, the power of balance! You will be unable to knock me ov-\
167	'''Tohru:''' [[VerbalTic NYAR!]]" ''(Headbutts him)'' "''Spiritual'' balance, Hak FOOL.
168	*** Which is immediately followed by...
169	---->'''Uncle:''' ''(Kicks Hak Foo away without even looking at him)'' YOU ARE BLOCKING MY LIGHT!"
170	* In addition to that, Hak Foo tries to attack Tohru with the [[AstralProjection Sheep Talisman]], only to have his astral form phase through Tohru. Tohru uses this an as opportunity to elbow drop Hak Foo. Upon returning to his body, Hak Foo yells in pain.
171	* With the Dark Hand defeated, Uncle states that [[TemptingFate it's a good thing Shendu was unable to steal the Pan'ku Box.]] Jade then [[InadvertentEntranceCue immediately runs up]] to inform Uncle that Shendu has fled with the Box, at which point Uncle unleashes a drawn out "AIYAH!".
172	* Another Tohru and Hak Foo exchange.
173	-->'''Hak Foo:''' Minnow wallops whale!
174	-->'''Tohru:''' I'm sorry, what was that last part?
175	-->'''Hak Foo:''' I said minnow-
176	-->[Tohru charges into Hak Foo knocking Hak Foo into the wall.]
177	-->'''Hak Foo:''' ''Mockingly, yet dazed'' What was that last part?
178	* Jade and Paco are about to be killed by the Dark Hand, yet they ''still'' are in their whole "Jackie!" "El Toro" argument to the amusement of the Dark Hand who just watch them bicker back and forth.
179
180	[[AC:Jade Times Jade]]
181	* The Jade Clones are restraining Po Kong along with Shendu and the Dark Hand while Uncle prepares his banishing spell. If you listen closely, you can hear Hak Foo saying "Too...many...Jades!"
182	* A RunningGag throughout the episode is Uncle, having picked Tohru to be his new Chi Magic student, calling the bigger man a "lousy apprentice" for his mistakes. When it comes time to seal Po Kong...
183	-->'''Uncle''': Now, the drum!
184	-->'''Tohru''': ...drum?
185	-->'''Uncle''': The symbol of the Immortal who originally defeated Po Kong!
186	-->'''Tohru''': I, uh...I thought ''you'' had it?
187	-->'''Uncle''': AIYAH! WHAT KIND OF AN APPRENTICE ARE YOU?
188	-->'''Tohru''': [[GotMeDoingIt A lousy one?]]
189	* After the spell works and Po Kong is back in the Netherworld, Uncle faces the challenge of figuring out why Jade's cloning spell is repeating without end. Suddenly, Tohru [[SuddenlyAlwaysKnewThat rattles off the exact problem]] and how to fix it. Uncle stares at him as if he's grown three heads, and Tohru sheepishly comments "I...uh...did some reading during the long flight."
190	** Tohru goes on to explain that the finishing charm which will break the spell can only work on the original Jade. Naturally, all of the clones claim that they're the real one, so Jackie needs to figure out how to quickly solve the problem. He [[CuttingTheKnot cuts the knot]] by announcing that the Jade who cast the spell is grounded "with no TV for a year," and all of the clones ''immediately'' point to the real Jade: "SHE DID IT!"
191
192	[[AC:The Curse of El Chupacabra]]
193	* El Toro Fuerte is transforming into, well, a {{Chupacabra}}. So of course, Jackie calls Uncle to help them find a cure. The first thing Uncle does upon arrival? Walk in, drop his bags, and begin to bitch about the flight.
194	-->'''Uncle:''' The flight was late, the food was terrible, the movie had no plot, and I had turbulence!"
195
196	[[AC:Mother Of All Battles]]
197	* As a running gag, a character calls the Octopus a fish and another corrects them by saying they're multipods. Which eventually leads to this:
198	--> '''Yokanawa Crime Boss:''' Quit the squabbling, and put the fish on the table!
199	--> '''Yokanawa Thug:''' Uh boss, technically an octopus is a member of the multipod family, and- ''(is given a look by his boss)'' Put the fish on the table!
200	* Uncle is a gold-mine for these.
201	--> '''Uncle:''' The hand is quicker than the eye.
202	--> ''(SlowMotion as Uncle moves his hands about. Uncle kicks mook in the face)''
203	--> '''Uncle:''' But you should have been watching the ''foot''.
204	* In the end Tohru's mother bids farewell to the main characters by name...but still calls Uncle "billy goat."
205
206	[[AC:Rumble in the Big House]]
207	* Jackie is undercover in prison. When he gets his one phone call, he contacts Uncle and tells him that he's in prison. Uncle (not knowing about the undercover operation) berates Jackie about it.
208	-->'''Uncle:''' You are in ''prison''?! You are a ''terrible'' influence on Jade!
209	* Later in the episode, Jackie, as per tradition:
210	-->'''Jackie:''' Jade, stay here.
211	-->'''Jade:''' Tch... in a prison?
212	-->''(Cue Jackie's frustrated look.)''
213	* Before Jackie leaves for the mission, Captain Black tells him to call if he needs backup, telling him the secret code is "Chinchilla". Jackie walks away only to question what a Chinchilla is, only for Black to close to the door on him.
214	** Jade and Jackie have to sneak back into prison to stop the Wind Demon, and Jade turns Jackie into a Chinchilla. Jade's response to it confirms that she too wanted to know what a Chinchilla was.
215	* A small one, but it involves Uncle borrowing one of Jackie's many catchphrases. He and Tohru borrowing an old woman's fan and Uncle slowly tells her.
216	-->'''Uncle''': ''I'm sorry. I will bring this back, thank you.''
217	* At the end, after they've just beaten the bad guys, the prison guards show up, grab Jackie, and drag him to solitary confinement. Jackie begs for help (Stating the code word "Chinchilla!!!"), only for Jade, Uncle, and Tohru to do a ShrugTake and walk away.
218
219	[[AC:And He Does His Own Stunts]]
220	* The premise of the episode is funny! The cast has to go to Hollywood for the MonsterOfTheWeek. While there Jackie gets signed up for a movie role while saying he doesn't want to be an actor, while Jade tells the director does his own stunts. It's funny when you consider who this cartoon was made after.
221	* When Jade sneaks up on the Enforcers:
222	-->'''Jade''': Hey look, Film/TheThreeStooges!\
223	'''Ratso''': ''(he, Finn, and Chow turn around)'' Where?!\
224	'''Jade''': ''(steals their map and runs)'' Duh!
225	* Seeking a souvenir for Uncle, Tohru requests photos of John Wayne, since Uncle is a fan. Being Tohru, he has a near-permanent intimidating glare on his face even when he isn't trying to scare anyone, which results in the freaked out cashier handing them over without a word.
226
227	[[AC:Queen of the Shadowkhan]]
228	* Valmont complains about Shendu forcing him to wear a "sorcerer's robe" (which Valmont thinks looks too much like a dress). The Enforcers also mock the robes as well:
229	-->'''Finn:''' Hehe. Shendu-''dette''. ''(mock bows)''\
230	'''Ratso:''' Pretty dress.\
231	'''Chow:''' Very becoming.
232	* When Hak Foo chases Jade into an alley:
233	-->'''Jade:''' Help! Anybody!\
234	''(Shadowkhan appear)''\
235	'''Jade:''' Shadowkhan... oh no oh no oh no...\
236	'''Hak Foo:''' ''(Smirks, then advances toward Jade)''\
237	''(Shadowkhan block him)''\
238	'''Hak Foo:''' Huh?\
239	''([[CurbStompBattle Gets the stuffing beaten out of him by the Shadowkhan]])''\
240	'''Hak Foo:''' ''(in utterly humiliated tone of voice)'' Bunny flees from vicious jackals! AAAAAH!
241	* After returning back, Hak Foo tells them about it, but no one believes him until Shendu decides to call the Shadowkhan.
242	-->'''Shendu''': Come, minions! ''(cue to lightning effect but no Shadowkhan appear)'' Minions? ''(looks around in confusion)''
243	-->'''Valmont''': It would seem you have lost your touch, Shendu!
244	-->'''Shendu''': I HAVE NOT LOST MY TOUCH!!!
245	* After that, you see the Shadowkhan reappear, surrounding Jade in the bathroom, only to offer juice, cereal, and a toaster with fresh toast. Seeing them tend to her needs before school is oddly funny, because of how unusually ''innocent'' the normally serious minions appeared.
246	* The second time when Finn and his friends try to steal the book. Finn enters as a [[PaperThinDisguise wealthy art collector]], while the others dig a hole to snatch back the book. After retrieving the book, Finn's 'cover' was blown when his pillow drops down but as he leaves, Uncle didn't notice it, and he even blames Jackie and Tohru:
247	-->'''Uncle''': ''(whacking them with a pillow after they just arrived with tea)'' YOU ARE BOTH VERY BAD SALESMEN!!!
248	* Jade ordering her Shadowkhan to ''spank'' the Enforcers, especially since the way she initially said it, it sounded like a childish euphemism for kicking ass. Bonus points for two Shadowkhan [[LiteralAssKicking literally kicking Hak Foo's ass]] to spank him.
249	-->'''Jade:''' GIVE THEM A SPANKING!
250	* Jade asking Jackie if she can keep her Shadowkhan, as if she brought in a stray dog:
251	-->'''Jade:''' So, can I keep them?\
252	'''Jackie:''' No, Jade.\
253	'''Jade:''' Awww. Why not?\
254	'''Jackie:''' Because you're turning blue.\
255	'''Jade:''' Blue's my favorite color, besides you gave Tohru a chance.\
256	'''Jackie:''' Tohru is human.
257	** During this scene, the Shadowkahn actually emote for the first time. They look shocked when Jackie says no and look down as if dejectedly when he says to send them away.
258
259	[[AC:Shanghai Moon]]
260	* While everyone is aboard the space shuttle, Valmont temporarily awakens from Shendu's possession, and demands to know where he is. His [[BigNo terrified reaction]] [[OhCrap upon seeing]] that they're flying away from Earth is priceless.
261	* When the Dark Hand discovers the pilot is a chimp, they all scream, except for Ratso who goes into CutenessProximity.
262	* While Hak Foo is fighting Jackie in outer space:
263	-->'''Hak Foo:''' Tiger Prowls Through... ''(confused)'' ...Pudding?
264	** Hak Foo then decides to roll with it and starts attacking Jacie VERY slowly with moves like "Turtle Fist" and "Sloth Kick."
265	** Also, when the astronaut chimpanzee steals the Pan'ku Box:
266	---> '''Hak Foo:''' Flying Monkey Snatches Magic Box?!
267	* Soon after Tso Lan emerges from the portal, he looks at the space chimp and asks Shendu with confusion if this is Jackie Chan. Which is doubly {{hilarious\|InHindsight}} for anyone familiar with ''Franchise/KungFuPanda''; Jackie Chan voices a monkey there.
268
269	[[AC:Agent Tag]]
270	* Jackie pushes a button on [[OvertOperative Agent Tag]]'s briefcase, which unfolds into a giant glider plane... and promptly flies away, leaving him and Jade stranded on the side of a volcano, and alerting the {{mooks}} to their presence.
271	-->'''Jade:''' See? This is why we can't buy you nice things.
272	* The whole episode was a hilarious parody of the ''Film/JamesBond'' series, but by far the funniest of these scenes is when Jackie uses [[GrievousHarmWithABody an unconscious Agent Tag]] as an ImprovisedWeapon, going so far as to twirl him around as if he were a Bo staff.
273	* Likewise, the villain getting tired of his DeathDealer henchman's card puns.
274
275	[[AC:Tale of the Demon Tail]]
276	* Jackie rescuing Uncle from Hsi Wu from the top of a water tower. At the moment, Hsi Wu is trying to get Uncle to un-curse his severed tail, and his goons have just arrived with Uncle's books, having been sent all the way across town to get them at Uncle's insistence. Uncle notices Jackie coming up behind Hsi Wu, so he delays. ("These are not my reading glasses!") Hsi Wu, finally fed up, is preparing to strike at him, when Jackie throws him off the tower.
277	-->'''Jackie:''' Uncle, run!\
278	'''Uncle:''' ''[looks to one side, then the other]'' Where to?
279
280	[[AC:Scouts Honor]]
281	* While traveling under Venice, Jackie reads Uncle's instructions, in which he included "[[CharacterCatchphrase one more thing]]" to the note.
282
283	[[AC:The New Atlantis]]
284	* Shendu is forcing Valmont to take potions that make him look more [[DraconicHumanoid dragon-like]], much to the latter's dismay.
285	-->'''Valmont:''' ''(Referring to a horn on his forehead)'' Wearing the skirt is demeaning enough, Shendu. But this is over the line!
286	-->'''Shendu:''' Do you think I am pleased with our union, Valmont? If I am to remain in your pathetic body, I must at least make a few cosmetic improvements. Now hold still while I sprout our tail.
287	-->''(Valmont fights with Shendu over control for his body, using the Pan'ku Box to temporarily incapacitate Shendu.)''
288	* When Valmont is helping Jackie in order to get Shendu taken out of his body, Jade shows up having disobeyed Jackie to stay put.
289	-->'''Valmont:''' So this is why your niece is always with you! And here I just thought you were horribly irresponsible.
290
291	[[AC:The Eighth Door]]
292	* Every once in awhile, Jackie gets in some excellent [[DeadpanSnarker snarking]].
293	-->'''Shendu:''' Why the interest in the box Chan? You have sealed the portals.
294	-->'''Jackie:''' I want a keepsake of our time together.
295	* When Jackie, Tohru and Uncle arrive at the Eighth door, they are dumbfounded by the fact that the door is located at, of all places, Hong-Kong Moose World.
296	-->'''Jackie:''' [[YouHaveGotToBeKiddingMe You have to be kidding...]]
297	-->'''Tohru:''' It is as if Jade herself guided us here."
298	* Valmont's reaction to finally getting Shendu expelled from his body:
299	-->'''Valmont:''' WHOOPEE! BOOM-SHAKA-LAKA-LAKA, BOOM-SHAKA-LAKA-LAKA!
300
301	[[AC:Demon World (Part 1)]]
302	* After Shendu uses the Book of Ages so that he and his brethren can continue ruling Earth, what he does after his conquest is hilariously petty: he keeps all the humans he knew and hated from the previous timeline as his personal slaves.
303	** He keeps his arch-nemesis Jackie as a submissive right-hand slave and yes-man (whom Jade compares to "a dog on a leash").
304	** He forces Jade to trim his toenails, and refill his mud bath, which visibly disgusts her.
305	** Uncle is his "library boy" (though he's forbidden from reading any books about magic).
306	** The entire Dark Hand gang are forced to entertain him as court jesters, while Shendu tosses fireballs at them for added amusement.
307
308	[[AC:Demon World (Part 2)]]
309	* This exchange between El Toro and Tso Lan:
310	-->'''[[GravityMaster Tso Lan]]:''' [[CharacterCatchphrase Behold my mastery of gravity]]!
311	-->'''El Toro:''' Behold my mastery of... ''(takes a look at the Rooster Talisman)'' ...[[GratuitousSpanish pollo]]!
312	* Later, the [[RabbitSeasonDuckSeason Jackie / El Toro]] RunningGag evolves to the point that Jade and Paco are arguing through the [[RealityWritingBook Book of Ages]] itself in making their respective idol "the greatest". Each time, they grow proportionally larger than the other, while everyone just watches on awkwardly.
313
314	[[AC:Enter the Cat]]
315	* Jackie's reaction to a thug breaking a telephone he (Jackie) tried using as a weapon.
316	-->'''Jackie:''' You are going to be in big trouble with the phone company.
317	* Valmont's henchmen reacting to being admonished to nearly breaking a Babylonian urn.
318	-->'''Jackie:''' ''(Catches urn)'' Babylonian urn!\
319	'''Ratso:''' What's a Babylonian urn?\
320	'''Finn:''' [[WhatsAHenway Probably more than we do]]!
321	* Jade, who's been turned into a catgirl by the Cat of Khartoum, asks what Uncle said about changing her back.
322	-->'''Jackie:''' He said 'the antidote lies within'.\
323	'''Jade:''' Tch! Sounds like gibberish to me.\
324	'''Jackie:''' He said that too.
325
326	[[AC:Tough Luck]]
327	* Finn's dream sequence about the Dark Hand starting a rock band, only to get beaten up by Jackie anyway.
328	-->'''Finn:''' But... we're not even doing anything wrong!\
329	'''Jackie:''' You are off-key. ''(punch)''
330	** Finn's dream band also includes a Shadowkhan.
331	** After Finn's nightmare, he resolves to go solo, getting dressed and even going as far as to take a determined step out the front door...before realizing it's still the middle of the night, and deciding his plans can wait until the morning.
332	* Finn decides that he's had enough of being in the Dark Hand, so he tries to start his own gang. He holds auditions for henchmen, but everyone's pathetic except for a skilled swordsman... except he has a fear of mice.
333	* When Jade reveals the Emerald of Killarney, [[TheScream Uncle gives perhaps his funniest "AIYA!" which echoes throughout the world]].
334
335	[[AC:The Chan Who Knew Too Much]]
336	* This bit, summing up the entire episode:
337	-->'''Magister:''' [[YeOldeButcheredEnglish Thou knoweth too much]]!
338	-->'''Jackie:''' NO WE DON'T!
339	* He ends up in their bathroom briefly.
340	-->'''Magister:''' He is privy to our privy!
341	* After a montage of Jackie stumbling into "secret rooms" and being told that he knows too much after each one, he finally exclaims,
342	-->'''Jackie:''' I'M JUST LOOKING FOR THE EXIT!
343	* Not to mention the Magisters always conveniently finding him as he tries to call for help.
344	--> '''Magister:''' Thou has faxed our insignia!
345	--> '''Jackie:''' It didn't go through!
346	* The fact that Uncle is capable of chanting his chi spells through a phone but still doesn't understand the concepts of fax machines, much to Jackie's exasperation.
347
348	[[AC:Chi of the Vampire]]
349	* The [[ChineseVampire Jiangshi]] drains chi from three of the four protagonists, and two of them get "chi transplants", so their personalities are all mixed up;
350	** Tohru gets some of Jade's chi, causing him to act very childish and energetic like Jade. His eyes grow really wide as well.
351	** Jade gets some of Uncle's chi, causing her to act grouchy and bookish, and she even starts speaking with Uncle's thick accent.
352	** Uncle gets drained without receiving a chi transplant, so he turns into an evil vampire slave with a sycophantic loyalty to his master.
353	* After Uncle's transformation, Jade has to use an enchanted note of paper to restrain him, saying that he cannot move until it is removed.
354	-->'''Jackie:''' ''(Approaches the completely still Uncle and leans in close. There is a brief beat and then...)''\
355	'''Uncle:''' You are DOOMED!\
356	'''Jackie:''' AUGH!\
357	'''Jade:''' ''(In Uncle's tone of voice)'' One more thing! He can still ''talk''.\
358	'''Tohru:''' ''(Crossing arms and pouting)'' Shoulda put that thing over his mouth!"
359	* That's not getting into Uncle's Renfield behavior during the final fight. Jade's discovery that in order to defeat the vampire, he must [[EyeOfNewt have a mushroom from a graveyard put into his left sock]], and then have said sock thrown into the river (Jackie's reaction: "...You're making this up,") has Uncle lying on the ground completely frozen (with his arms in the most ridiculous position), saying things like "Is that your sock, master?" and begging him to take the others' "Delicious chiiiii..." complete with Uncle's slight increase in pitch at the end. Classic!
360	** After everyone is back to normal:
361	--->'''Uncle:''' Who stuck special parchment to Uncle's face?!
362	* Jade notes that while she has Uncle's Chi, she doesn't have his brains. She effectively only gained his personality but was still fundimentally Jade. This results in her being unable to do all of his crazy Chi Wizard stuff but makes her constantly think about old man things...like digestion and eating fermented mung beans, both of which utterly horrifies her.
363
364	[[AC:Shrink Rap]]
365	* While Uncle is attempting to find and retrieve the missing Jackie (who actually shrunk down to a tiny size, but everyone thinks he disappeared to another dimension), he accidentally summons a strange green monster instead:
366	-->'''Uncle:''' This antidote will release from detention, he who is trapped in another dimension!
367	-->''(Uncle uses a potion to open up a portal, which releases a short green monster)''
368	-->'''Jade:''' Uh... Jackie?
369	-->'''Monster:''' It's just me, but thank you ever so much for freeing me from that beastly limbo!
370	-->'''Uncle:''' Not Jackie!
371	-->''(Tohru walks in with a tray of fresh cookies)''
372	-->'''Monster:''' "Mmmm, lunch!"
373	-->'''Tohru:''' Uh, cookie?
374	-->'''Monster:''' ''(Looks hungrily at Jade)'' What's a... ''cookie''? ''(Roars)''
375	-->'''Jade:''' "[[OverlyLongScream AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!]]"
376	-->'''Uncle:''' GO AWAY!
377	-->''(Uncle banishes the monster back through the portal)''
378	-->'''Uncle:''' [[{{Understatement}} We need to try a different spell]].
379	-->'''Jade:''' [[DeadpanSnarker Ya think?]]
380	[[/folder]]
381
382	[[folder:Season 3]]
383	[[AC:Viva Las Jackies]]
384	* During the ColdOpen, the Chan family's background antics behind Daolon Wong.
385	-->'''Uncle:''' Aiyaaah!
386	* This phone conversation between Uncle and Jackie (unbeknownst to the former, the latter has been [[LiteralSplitPersonality divided by the power of the Tiger Talisman]] again albeit like a Siamese twin instead of two individual bodies).
387	-->'''Uncle:''' Room service? I have been waiting for-
388	-->'''[[NiceGuy Yin Jackie]]:''' Uncle! Thank goodness you are-
389	-->'''Uncle:''' Jackie! [[ItMakesSenseInContext How could you leave Uncle at a shabby hotel with no]] [[EyeOfNewt eel saliva]]?!
390	-->'''[[{{Jerkass}} Yang Jackie]]:''' [[CallingTheOldManOut Pull your tongue out of your mouth and wring out the spit]].
391	-->'''Uncle:''' ''(gasps)''
392	* When Finn, Ratso, and Chow see the two-headed Jackie:
393	-->'''Finn:''' Whoa, and I thought we looked freaky.
394	* The brief moment when Jade is seen jumping on the hotel bed in the background.
395
396	[[AC:Aztec Rat Race]]
397	* When Finn, Ratso, and Chow state why they were unable to defeat Jackie and acquire the Noble Rat, Finn is the only one who has a legitimate excuse.
398	-->'''Finn:''' Chan has a masked crime-fighter with him.[[note]]He's referring to [[LivingToys Super Moose]].[[/note]]\
399	'''Chow:''' The sun was in our eyes!\
400	'''Ratso:''' I need a bigger hammer.\
401	'''Dalon Wong:''' Excuses, excuses, excuses!
402	* Every single time Quetzalcoatl shows off an ability, Paco goes, "He can [shot fire/fly]" to which Jade goes, "God of [fire/sky], duh!" By the third time, he catches on.
403	-->'''Paco:''' He can create indestructible vines?\
404	'''Jade:''' God of--\
405	'''Paco:''' Agriculture? ''Duh''.
406	* Quetzalcoatl mistaking Jade as a literal goddess. When Jade dismisses the similarities, Quetzalcoatl just laughs at her sassy attitude.
407
408	[[AC:The Invisible Mom]]
409	* When hunting for the Noble Snake, the J-Team faces the return of Tohru's mother, and the renewal of her and Uncle's rivalry.
410	-->'''Uncle:''' "Too much garlic" - Uncle ''knew'' you were vampire!
411	* After returning Tohru's mother to visubility, the J-Team becomes shocked. Turns out Tohru's mother is now scaley.
412	-->'''Uncle:''' (smirking) Do not look in mirror!
413
414	[[AC:A Jolly J-Team Xmas]]
415	* Captain Black using all of Section 13's resources to find a videogame for Jade.
416	* Jade thinks Santa Claus is fake, just like the ToothFairy. Cue flashback to Jackie trying to slip a dollar underneath Jade's pillow only to get caught, presumably because Jade pretended to be asleep.
417	* Viper's reaction to Jade turning up at her place:
418	-->'''Viper:''' You brought an elf to a Hanukkah party?
419	* Tohru is SubbingForSanta and at the first house...
420	-->'''Kid:''' ''(offscreen as Tohru is eating cookies)'' DADDY! A fake Santa is eating Santa's cookies!
421	* Uncle distracts Daolon Wong by pointing out that they're standing under mistletoe. Daolon Wong freaks out, giving Uncle an opening.
422
423	[[AC:The Ox-Head Incident]]
424	* After Hak Foo becomes a [[SuperpoweredMook Dark Chi Warrior]], he upgrades his attacks accordingly:
425	-->'''Hak Foo:''' Meteor Brings Mass Extinction!
426	-->'''Hak Foo:''' Tornado Desecrates Trailer Park!
427	* Jackie tries to pass himself off as Uncle's disembodied head in the Orb of Kwan Lo to fool Daolon Wong
428	-->'''Daolon Wong:''' Why has your (Uncle) incessant mouth suddenly grown silent?! (Turns to find Jackie resting his head on the pedestal, vainly trying to pass for a captive Uncle)\
429	'''Jackie:''' Uh, 'one more thing!' (Daolon is obviously not buying it) Who am I kidding?! (Runs away)
430	* Jackie attempts to use Ratso's hammer to free Uncle's head from the sphere, only for Uncle to yell at him and accuse him of trying to give him a headache.
431
432	[[AC:Tohru Who?]]
433	* When Uncle gets hit with Valmont's amnesia spray, he begins acting like a goat due to Valmont calling him an old goat. Then when Valmont is hit with it, Jade tells him he's at the ballet and he starts dancing.
434
435	[[AC:Re-Enter the Dragon]]
436	* This exchange:
437	-->'''Hak Foo:''' Hurricane kick! Earthquake fist! Asteroid belt! Meteor pummels mountain!\
438	'''Tohru:''' ''(Tohru simply steps aside and Hak Foo lands in the lava pool)'' Hot bath.
439
440	[[AC:Attack of the J-Clones]]
441	* When they mistakenly assume the real Jackie is the clone and attack him. Both Tohru and El Toro Fuerte (two very large men) tackle and dogpile on top of Jackie, followed by the much slimmer and lighter Viper.
442	* When they're trying to find out which Jackie is the real one, and which one is the clone, and Captain Black asks, "Jackie, when's my birthday?" Neither Jackie knows, and Captain Black gets upset and says, "Jeez, Jackie, I thought we were pretty close!"
443	** After that, Jackie's clone escapes, but Captain Black reassures them since he planted a tracking device on the clone, but he sees a blinking red light on Jackie's shirt, and realizes he tagged the wrong Jackie. Luckily, Viper managed to tag the clone.
444	** Jade is the one who figures it out by asking if Jackie can take her to Moose World. The first one agrees, and the second reminds Jade of her homework. Jade bitterly remarks that the latter Jackie is the real one.
445	** Later on when Uncle needs to find who is real and who is a clone:
446	--->'''Captain Black:''' Uh, Viper, did you always have that mole?\
447	'''Viper:''' Hey, if you want to start...
448	[[/folder]]
449
450	[[folder:Season 4]]
451	[[AC:The Amazing T-Troop]]
452	* Tarakudo has a telekinesis battle with Eggbert. In case you are wondering, Eggbert is a rooster with the [[MindOverMatter Rooster Talisman]].
453	** Perhaps the only thing that makes it funnier is that he struggles with the whole battle, and has to win through a cheap shot.
454
455	[[AC:Black Magic]]
456	* The Enforcers do rock-paper-scissors to see who goes across a totem pole that has fallen over a canyon to get Jade and the Oni Mask. Ratso wins but Finn and Chow tell him "Rocks crush paper." Ratso is halfway across the pole when he remembers that the opposite is true.
457	-->'''Ratso:''' Wait a minute...paper covers rock!
458	* Hak Foo attempts to punch one of the Sumo Khan, only to hurt his fist. Another Sumo then flicks him through a wall.
459	* Captain Black replaces all of Section 13 with his Shadowkhan, from manning the computers to mopping the floors.
460	* After Captain Black is split by the Tiger Talisman, Good Black has to stop [[EvilTwin Evil Black]] (who's still possessed by an Oni Mask).
461	-->'''Good Black:''' ''(to Jade)'' Let's go kick my butt.
462
463	[[AC:The Demon Behind]]
464	* This happens after the mask of the Oni general Ikazuki is awakened with the [[AnimateInanimateObject Rat Talisman]]. He's quite disappointed about being reduced to just his face.
465	-->'''Ikazuki:''' [[LargeHam IKAZUKI LIVES]]! [[KneelBeforeZod Bow before my mighty form]] and - wait, [[EpicFail where is my mighty form]]? Insolent humans, you shall pay for your trickery at the hands of my Shadowkhan! ''(Attempts to summon the {{Samurai}} Khan, but nothing happens)'' Ahem. At the hands of my Shadowkhan! (Still nothing happens)''
466	* Ikazuki somehow escapes from Section 13, and he awkwardly attempts to find a host to attach himself to. For example:
467	-->'''Ikazuki:''' ''(while sitting in a woman's lap)'' PLACE ME UPON YOUR FACE! NOW! ''(She screams and throws him away)''
468	* Ikazuki later (accidentally) succeeds at being placed on Finn... on Finn's butt, to be exact. There's also Jade's reaction:
469	-->'''Jade:''' Hey look, it's the Demon from Planet [[UranusIsShowing Uran]]- ''([[CurseCutShort Jackie covers her mouth]])''
470	* When Ikazuki orders Ratso and Chow to bow before him:
471	-->'''Ratso:''' No way I'm bowing to Finn's tuchus.
472	* At the end, Ratso dabs his hands in the mask removal potion, and he performs the admittedly awkward task of removing Ikazuki from Finn's ass, with Ratso and Finn [[LetUsNeverSpeakOfThisAgain both agreeing to never talk about it]].
473
474	[[AC:Half a Mask of Kung-Fu]]
475	* An Oni Mask gets broken in half, with one of them sticking to Valmont, and the other to Jade. She tries to resist the murderous impulse of the Oni:
476	-->'''Jade:''' ''(to Jackie)'' ...Your brain's starting to smell yummy.
477
478	[[AC:The Shadow Eaters]]
479	* After all of Hak Foo's efforts, he ''finally'' gets an Oni Mask and summons his Shadowkhan, anticipating mighty demon ninjas... and gets a bunch of the [[MiniMook tiniest]], most {{adorable evil minions}} ever. His expression when he realizes what he's summoned up is priceless. Of course, as it turns out, [[KillerRabbit they're some of the most terrifying Shadowkhan in the series]].
480	-->'''Hak Foo:''' ''(attacking with angry disappointment)'' [[CompensatingForSomething Demon compensates for inferior ninja army]]!
481	* After one of Hak Foo's Mini Khan eats Tohru's shadow and incapacitates him, and while Jackie and Jade are hunting the swarm of Shadowkhan, Uncle passes the time by making an oil painting of the comatose Tohru.
482	* The scene where Hak Foo is trying to train his Shadowkhan without knowing their true capabilities. He has them attack a training dummy, and the little shadowkhan harmlessly bounce off and flop on the floor like fish. And then when Hak Foo has them show Tarakudo their war faces.
483	-->'''Tarakudo:''' Frightening. If I had a spine, it would be tingling.
484	* Uncle, attempting to translate Japanese to learn the key ingredient to remove Hak Foo's mask, reads that the substitute ingredient is "shoelace of giraffe".
485	-->'''Uncle:''' Ai-yah! Giraffes do not wear shoes!
486	* Later, he gets "lobster wearing corduroy pants".
487
488	[[AC:The Good Guys]]
489	* What motivates Finn, Ratso, and Chow to perform their HeelFaceTurn?
490	-->'''Ratso:''' We're tired of never making any money!
491	-->'''Chow:''' We're tired of being enslaved by [[BigBadEnsemble dragons, wizards, and floating demon heads]]!
492	-->'''Finn:''' But most of all, we're tired of getting our butts kicked... by you.
493	-->'''Ratso:''' It hurts.
494
495	* The former Enforcers claim they aren't bad people.
496	-->'''Chow:''' We just fell in with the wrong crowd.
497	-->'''Ratso:''' Yeah, each other. ''cue elbow to the ribs from both Chow and Finn''
498
499	[[AC:Deja Vu]]
500	* While going through moments where Jade messed up, she points out how it isn't like she turned evil. Cue them viewing the moment where Jade was corrupted by the mark of Tarakudo. Even though she argues being possessed, Uncle tells her that is no excuse saying that she doesn't see him turning evil. Cue the next period being when Uncle became the Kiang Chi's servant.
501	* How about when the {{clip show}} starts to speed up?
502	--> '''Jade:''' I think I'm gonna hurl.
503	--> '''Uncle:''' Uncle becoming very dizzy...
504	* The part where Jackie is forced to go through a montage of every time he said "[[CharacterCatchphrase BAD DAY!]]"
505
506	[[AC:J2: Rise of the Dragons]]
507	* Drago's face when the dragon teeth got turned to ash, due to his own fire.
508	--> '''Drago:''' ''(beat)'' [[BigNo NOOOOOOOOO!]]
509	* Then when Drago tries to get at the Jades, he get KO'ed by a chi spell by Uncle.
510	--> '''Drago:''' I shall destroy you now and FOREVER! Ngaaahh--agh! ''(is blasted and knocked out)''
511	--> '''Uncle:''' ''(shows up with Jackie)'' I told you a thousand times; MagicMustDefeatMagic! ''(looks at pile of ash)'' Where did teeth go?
512	--> '''Future!Jade:''' Dragon's fire breath is magic, ''duh.''
513	--> '''Uncle:''' Who is smarty-pants-good-chi-magic-know-it-all who looks like Jade? ''(beat)'' Aiyah!
514
515	[[AC:The J-Tots]]
516	* This moment after all the adults on the J-Team get turned into kids:
517	-->'''El Toro:''' El Toro Fuerte never removes his pants!
518	** No, no, no, here's Uncle:
519	--->'''Uncle:''' ''(using a paper fortune-teller on Paco)'' Fortune-teller reveals... You have big crush on Jade!\
520	'''Uncle:''' ''(to Captain Black)'' You want Uncle to cast reversal spell on J-Team, yes? Then you will [[SuddenlyShouting STOP FOR ICE CREAM]]!
521
522	[[AC:Ninja Twilight]]
523	* Tohru uses the Monkey Talisman to turn two Oni Generals into cute little cats. But Uncle is not pleased by this for some reason.
524	[[/folder]]
525
526	[[folder:Season 5]]
527	[[AC:Relics of Demons Past]]
528	* Drago gives the Enforcers some of his Fire Demon Chi, so they test out their new [[PlayingWithFire powers]]. Ratso's response?
529	-->'''Ratso:''' Hey, I can make grilled cheese sandwiches whenever I want!
530	* Captain Black tells Jackie about Drago and the Enforcers. Jackie tells Jade to stay in the shop, then gets into the car, only to see that Jade is [[OffscreenTeleportation somehow inside the car, even buckled up in the back seat]].
531	-->'''Jade:''' Seriously, [[OverusedRunningGag don't you get tired of saying that]]?
532
533	[[AC:It's All in the Game]]
534	* The Chan Clan participate in a humiliating game show, in order to win a MacGuffin containing the Water Demon Chi. Jade gains a rivalry with the other team's youngest member... who develops a crush on her by the end of the episode.
535	* When the Chans have to vote which one of them has to exit the game, the winner is Uncle, thanks to Jade's conspiracies. As Uncle's dragged away, he yells in a hilarious way at Jade for cheating on him.
536	-->'''Uncle:''' UNCLE HAS BEEN BAMBOOZLED?! JADE, WE HAD A DEAL!
537
538	[[AC:Black and White and Chi All Over]]
539	* A recycled joke from "Tough Luck", with Drago trying to find some henchmen of his own, but all the potential recruits are awful. There was one man who could destroy a refrigerator in a few punches, only to be scared of flies. As a bonus, [[DemotedToExtra Valmont]] shows up, but immediately gets rejected by Drago.
540	* Drago berating the Ice Crew for losing to the heroes in a flower shop.
541	-->'''Drago:''' Was that a joke back there? Did I hire clowns? I give you powers beyond your wildest imagination, and you amateurs can't get past an archaeologist, a tub of guts, an old man, and a little girl?!
542
543	[[AC:Mirror, Mirror]]
544	* The evil Mirror Spirits possess our heroes and [[ForcedTransformation change them]]; Uncle becomes mute, Jackie's head grows huge, Jade is turned into a ''literal'' {{stubborn mule}}, and Tohru becomes a giant clone of his mother (complete with her voice and personality too, thus getting on the silent Uncle's nerves).
545	* In order to exorcise and reseal the Mirror Spirits, Uncle instructs Jackie and Jade to retrieve some moss from the top of a statue. Jackie climbs his way up, and notices that Jade beat him to the top. Jade points out there were trams that allowed tourists to reach the top of the statue. Jackie [[FacePlant face plants]].
546	-->'''Jade:''' I'm stubborn, not stupid.
547	* Then at the end, glass objects are needed to reseal the Mirror Spirits, so Jackie takes out a flashlight, Uncle takes off his glasses, and Tohru takes out his mother's compact makeup mirror and gets some stares from Jackie and Uncle, and states his mother left it behind during her last visit.
548
549	[[AC:Antler Action]]
550	* While a nerdy guy named Larry is transforming into an [[DishingOutDirt Earth Demon]] and decides to become a superhero, he's asked about what he's turning into; he looks up at his horns, and then replies "Super Moose!".
551	* At the comic convention, Uncle is playing a trading card game against a young boy. Even though he hasn't even played the game before, he somehow aces through the match, and he even uses a ''magic blowfish'' card to finish off the kid!
552
553	[[AC:Clash of the Titanics]]
554	* Uncle is forbidden from coming underwater due to his cold, but he sneaks along anyway in Jade style. When he's found, he [[BorrowedCatchphrase greets Jackie in Jade style]].
555	-->'''Uncle:''' Hi, Jackie!
556	* While the Chans pilot a submarine through the deep sea, it gets ambushed by a [[GiantEnemyCrab gigantic lobster]] [[DiabolusExNihilo that just suddenly appeared without warning]].
557	-->'''Uncle:''' ''(when asked about what spells to use)'' MagicMustDefeatMagic, not ''overgrown shellfish''!
558	* At the end of the episode, Uncle is locked up in a decompression chamber for 48 hours due to Jade [[BlatantLies claiming]] that he has the bends like Jackie. The real reason for this was to decimate his stronger than normal garlic odour and to have some peace and quiet from the yelling from his sickbed.
559	** As Captain Black makes his exit, he has a smug look on his face, indicating that he went gladly along with Jade's lies.
560
561	[[AC:Stealing Thunder]]
562	* The episode's ending: just when Jade no longer seems interested in gaining a ''Robomercs'' game, Jackie is very pleased, prompting a very tired-looking Tohru bringing one of the giant manual ''Robomercs''.
563	-->'''Tohru:''' Jade, I do not believe this will fit in the overhead compartment.
564
565	[[AC: Weight And See]]
566	* Drago going in stealth mode while the rest of his team watch him in confusion over what he's doing.
567	-->'''Cobra:''' Why's he talkin' into the headset?. Yo we're right here.\
568	'''Ice:''' Dude's into protocol.
569
570	[[AC:The Powers That Be (Part 2)]]
571	* Valmont shows up for the last time... as a bus driver. When Jackie recognizes him, poor Valmont slinks off. Also SugarWiki/{{heartwarming\|moments}} in an odd way; just like the Enforcers, Valmont has [[HeelFaceTurn turned over a new leaf, and is now living honestly]].
572	* And how does the series end? With Shendu and Drago trapped in the Netherworld, complaining to each other.
573	-->'''Drago:''' The Earth was within my grasp! You never let me have what I want!\
574	'''Shendu:''' I told you not to play with your father's world!\
575	'''Drago:''' Why not? You weren't using it! You were always too busy fighting wizards!
576	[[/folder]]

Context Funny / JackieChanAdventures