Line #14 Funny/IRobot


1	!Per wiki policy, Administrivia/SpoilersOff applies here and all spoilers are unmarked. Administrivia/YouHaveBeenWarned.
2
3	!![[Film/IRobot The Will Smith film]]
4
5	* "You are the '''dumbest''' smart person I have ''ever'' met in my life!"
6	** "You are the dumbest '''dumb''' person I have ever met."
7	* "Do you ever have a normal day?", "Yeah. Once. It was a Thursday."
8	* Spooner asking Calvin to re-explain what she does in LaymansTerms ("I make the robots seem more human.") and then asking "Now, wasn't that easier to say?" [[AskAStupidQuestion She genuinely doesn't think it was]].
9	* "A robot couldn't commit a murder any more than a human being could walk on water!" "Well, y'know, there was [[UsefulNotes/JesusChrist this one guy]], a long time ago..."
10	* And of course, this exchange towards the end:
11	-->'''Farber''': Oh, mother-damn, she just shot at you with her eyes closed, Spoon!
12	-->'''Spooner''': HEY! Did you just shoot at me with your eyes closed?!
13	-->'''Calvin''': Well, it ''worked'', didn't it?!
14	-->'''Farber''': Spoon, she is shit-hot man, you gotta put in a good word for me, she is--
15	-->'''Spooner''': Stop cussin' --
16	-->'''Farber''': -- and go home, I got you! [''runs off'']
17	-->[''Spooner runs over to Calvin and grabs the gun from her'']
18	-->'''Spooner''': '''''Aim''''' and fire.
19	** And just moments before, when Spooner is getting strangled by the same robot.
20	--->'''Farber''': [[CaptainObvious Spoon! Watch out, man!]]
21	--->'''Spooner''': [[SarcasmMode Thanks a lot, Farber.]]
22	* This exchange between Sonny and Spooner:
23	-->'''Spooner''': Can a robot write a symphony? Can a robot turn a canvas into a beautiful masterpiece?\
24	'''Sonny''': Can you?\
25	'''Spooner''': [''awkward silence'']
26	* "ACHOO! [[DeadpanSnarker Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit]]."
27	* Whilst investigating Lanning's house, Del tries in vain to get the man's cat to leave him alone.
28	-->'''Spooner''': Look, I understand you've experienced a loss, but this relationship just can't work. I mean, you're a cat, I'm black, and I'm not gonna be hurt again.
29	* When Spooner is walking around downtown eating his pie, he sees a robot running through a crowd with a purse. Without looking away from it, he holds his pie out to a random stranger walking by him.
30	-->'''Spooner''': Hold my pie. \
31	'''Passerby''': What? \
32	'''Spooner''': Sir, hold it or wear it. [''man slowly takes the pie, Spooner runs off'']
33	* "This isn't what I normally do, but I got an idea for one of your commercials. You see a carpenter, and he's making a beautiful chair. Then one of your robots comes in and makes a better chair, twice as fast. And then you superimpose on the screen: 'USR: Shittin' on the little guy.'" {{Beat}} as Robertson gives him a look. "[[DontExplainTheJoke That would be the fade out.]]"
34	** Earlier in the same conversation, while Robertson is talking:
35	--->'''Spooner''': [''suddenly interrupting''] Sugar?
36	--->'''Robertson''': I'm sorry?
37	--->'''Spooner''': For the coffee? Sugar?
38	--->[''awkward pause before the two crack up'']
39	--->'''Spooner''': Oh, you... you thought [[HoYay I was calling]] ''[[HoYay you]]'' [[HoYay "Sugar"]]! Hey, you're not ''that'' rich.
40	* "You're saying ''cats'' did this to you?!" "How the hell would cats do this to me? Are you crazy?" "Why are we talking about cats?"
41	* After Robertson informs Calvin that Spooner's been suspended on suspicion of mental instability, Calvin turns and looks at Spooner, as if non-verbally asking him if what Robertson said is true. Spooner's response:
42	--> '''Spooner:''' ...I don't know what 'blithely' means, but I'm gonna go get some coffee.\
43	''[Calvin stares in shock]''\
44	'''Spooner''': You want some coffee?\
45	''[Calvin continues to stare in shock]''
46	* "Hey, so -- what hospital are you going to? I'll meet you there and sign you and your buddy's cast."
47	* "Somehow, 'I told you so'... just doesn't quite say it."
48	* Spooner and Calvin's entire argument in the car while chasing after Sonny--showcasing their LikeAnOldMarriedCouple relationship--particularly the last two lines:
49	-->'''Calvin''': It was a left, by the way, back ''there''. [''points'']
50	-->'''Spooner''': [''shakes his head''] You ''must'' know my ex-wife.
51	* "Sonny!" "Yes, Detective?" "[[AlwaysSaveTheGirl Calvin's fine!]] Save me!"
52	* "You're lucky I can't breathe, or else I'd walk all up and ''down'' yo' ass!" [''puff'']
53	** "It's okay, I'm a police officer." "You... [''puff'']] ...are a ''asshole''."
54	* "[[OhCrap Aww]] [[Creator/WillSmith HELL naw]]!"
55	** Before that, the line he says upon seeing the robots themselves is just as good: [[TemptingFate "There is no way my luck is that bad."]]
56	** Shortly afterwards: [[BlatantLies "You are experiencing a car accident."]]
57	--->"THE '''HELL''' I AM!"
58	** When Spooner's arm is revealed to be robotic, the NS-5 somehow has a "WTF?!?!" look on its face, as Spooner snarks, "Yeah."
59	* After bursting out of the car wreck caused by the ZergRush of NS-[=5=]s, Del takes a look down at his now-melted pair of vintage Converse and nods in TranquilFury, as if to say "Trying to kill me way one thing, but then you went and [[SkewedPriorities ruined my shoes!]]"
60	** Later, when Del is going on [[HereWeGoAgain once again]] about "'''THE GOD DAMN ROBOTS'''" to Lt. Bergin, Bergin angrily asks him where his firearm is (one of the robots had grabbed it from him back in the tunnel). Del just looks down, pauses, and realizes that he ''can't'' actually defend himself for this one, so he just shrugs like a passive-aggressive teenager.
61	** Having lost his car earlier on the highway, Spooner introduces Dr. Calvin to his motorcycle. Her reaction is not one of excitement, but a very put-off "[[OhCrap Are you being funny?]]" Spooner's smug grin is what sells it.
62	--->'''Calvin''': Please tell me this doesn't run on gas! Gas explodes, you know!
63	* Shortly after they first meet, Spooner genuinely tries to flirt with Calvin a few times, to which she responds with a mix of complete non-reaction and slight exasperation. The "posture" flirtation in particular is hilarious, as she just stares at him and he finally throws in the towel.
64
65	!![[Literature/IRobot The Asimov book]]
66	* In the story about QT-1, the robot ends up behaving like a robotic Muhammad and "converts" all other robots in the space station they are in to his religion, which worships the station's central power plant, and in which everything outside the station simply does not exist. Donovan and Powell get confined to their rooms, but it turns out that QT-1 can use the controls easily. When a new team comes to replace Donovan and Powell, the leader of the new team says he'll be damned if he lets the robot take the controls. Donovan and Powell get a laugh when they realize the newcomers will stay in the station for weeks...
67	* The SPD model that suffers a 'nervous breakdown' on Mercury begins singing Theatre/HMSPinafore: the techs are utterly mystified, since there's no real reason for a maintenance-and-repair robot designed to spend its existence on Mercury to have been programmed with centuries-old operettas.
68	* In "Escape!", a new FTL drive is successfully constructed and tested, with a few... side-effects... on test-pilots Powell and Donovan:
69	-->"Does your coffin fit differently lately? Why not try Morbid M. Cadaver's extensible caskets. They are scientifically designed to fit the natural curves of the body, and are enriched with vitamin B. Use Cadaver's caskets for comfort. Remember - you're - going - to - be - dead - a - long - long - time!"

Context Funny / IRobot