Line #0 Funny/HomicideLifeOnTheStreet


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3	* A running joke is the vehicle pool of deteriorating economy cars (Chevrolet Cavaliers) that the detectives have to use, which results in detectives being routinely outrun by crooks or having to use the bus to get to crime scenes.
4	** In the pilot, Pembleton forgets to write down the number of the one he checks out, and gets down to the garage only to be reminded that they all look exactly alike. His pride won't let him go back upstairs, so he starts checking the door locks of each.
5	** In a different episode, Pembleton tries to get out of a parallel park job, but the cars in front and behind are too close. Bayliss is preoccupied with Crosetti's funeral arrangements while Pembleton, backing up, pulling forward, backing up, pulling forward, starts yelling "You can get it in, but you can't get it out!" and "I'm gonna shoot this car!"
6	* The music montage in the movie with a frantic Mike Giardello uselessly running around and beating up suspects while Kellerman chooses to ignore him completely and to have lunch.
7	* Pretty much anything JustForFun/JohnMunch says though his "Montel Williams" rant is definitely up there.
8	** The fact that neither Bolander nor the suspect they're questioning know who Montel Williams is makes it even funnier
9	* The detectives reading you your rights in "The Documentary".
10	* Howard and Bayliss quitting smoking and Pembleton and Felton's overreaction to it, insisting on swapping partners for their joint stakeout as they cannot stand self-righteous ex-smokers. Kay and Tim spend the whole night talking about how glad they are they quit smoking but how much they miss it. The previously hostile Frank and Beau bond over their love of smoking but both admit they should really quit. Eventually Bayliss gets Pembleton to light one up so he can enjoy the second hand smoke.
11	* Munch ruining Bolander's and Howard's double date.
12	* ''Lewis'': You're like a father figure to me, big man.
13	** ''Bolander'': You ever repeat that, I'll gut you.
14	* After so long talking of how the FBI is constantly keeping tabs on him because of his radical past and conspiracy talk, Munch finally gets to FBI headquarters in New York and demands to see his file, even stating he doesn't know if there's enough room in his car to hold so many folders and surveillance photos. His reaction (and those of his fellow cops) was priceless when Munch was shown his "file" comprised of ''a single piece of paper'' and the FBI dismissed him as "considered a dilettante and is not taken seriously amongst the radical community."
15	* The "Electrolite Neutron Magnetic Scan Test" definitely counts.
16	* Howard twitting Pembleton about her reasons for stopping smoking in "Smoke Gets In Your Eyes". Ed Danvers the "Alpha male", indeed.
17	* LoveAtFirstSight is represented with weird electronic {{sting}}s and sudden camera zooms in "A Model Citizen". You might think the humour was [[{{Narm}} unintentional]], but then Tim and Emma meet eyes and crash into the furniture.
18	* A child shooting makes Munch miss his alcohol awareness seminar. He calls in his excuse from the hospital, and the next day joins the class with his apologies.
19	-->"Oh, that's all right, Detective! It's not every day that an elephant squashes your mother!"
20	** Munch gets kicked out of the seminar when he can't keep himself from insulting the instructor.
21	* The time that Bayliss and Pembleton accidentally bust a major drug dealer with a truly massive amount of cocaine in the back of his car because they got the wrong pager number and believe him to be a small-time murderer.
22	-->'''Pembleton:''' You're not Manuel Rendares, are you?\
23	'''Bernard Weeks:''' Bernard Weeks. How the hell did y'all get onto me? I was so damn careful. I've been moving this kind of weight for 5 years and not so much as a traffic stop. Y'all DEA, right?\
24	'''Bayliss:''' No.\
25	'''Bernard Weeks:''' FBI, Customs?\
26	'''Pembleton:''' Nope.\
27	'''Bernard Weeks:''' Local narcotics. How long you been onto me? 6 months? Longer? You had to be on me for about a year, year and a half, to roll up on me with this kinda weight.\
28	'''Pembleton:''' Nah. We weren't looking for you.\
29	'''Bernard Weeks:''' ... Say what?\
30	'''Pembleton:''' We're not local narcotics.\
31	'''Bayliss:''' We're Baltimore Homicide. We're lookin' for someone else. This is just a ...a mistake.\
32	'''Bernard Weeks:''' A mistake?\
33	'''Pembleton:''' Yeah.\
34	'''Bernard Weeks:''' You roll up on me with 200 kilograms and it's a mistake?!\
35	'''Pembleton:''' Well, you haven't by any chance killed anybody in Baltimore lately, have you?\
36	'''Weeks:''' No way.\
37	'''Pembleton:''' ''[exasperated]'' We just wasted another day.\
38	'''Bernard Weeks:''' ''[stunned]'' A mistake?\
39	'''Bayliss:''' Yeah. Sorry. Get him outta here.
40	* Crosetti geeking out over landmarks and the Lincoln assassination during his and Lewis's trip to Washington D.C. in "And the Rocket's Dead Glare".
41	* When [=DeSilva=] questions Munch on an {{Anvilicious}} [[AuthorTract rant]] he had gone on about the legalization of drugs, Munch starts rambling about a conspiracy theory about how [[MakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext marijuana was outlawed by William Randolph Hearst so he could get rid of his main competitor: hemp.]]
42	--> '''[=DeSilva=]:''' No wonder you guys couldn't solve a murder.\
43	'''Munch:''' Well, I wouldn't solve ''yours''.
44	* Pembleton's dramatic RageAgainstTheHeavens [[MoodWhiplash is interrupted by Bayliss's snark.]]
45	--> '''Pembleton:''' Damn Him!\
46	'''Bayliss:''' The killer?\
47	'''Pembleton:''' [[RageAgainstTheHeavens God.]]\
48	'''Bayliss:''' Frank, I don't think you can ask God to damn Himself. And if you do, don't stand next to me because I don't want to get hit by lightning. This is a new suit.
49	* When Bayliss tries to tell Lewis that he's hooked up with Emma Zoole, who Lewis had a crush on and was currently hung up over her turning him down, Bolander interrupts his stuttering attempts to dancing around the topic by bluntly asking him if he really had gotten together with her. As Lewis shoots Bayliss a DeathGlare, Howard comes in and asks if it's true that [[ItMakesSenseInContext they had slept together inside of a coffin.]] Bayliss can only FacePalm at this point, while Lewis storms off and his colleagues mock him.
50	* Munch and Bolander arguing about what kind of bird took a shit in their car.
51	--> '''Bolander:''' Would you look at this? Pigeons!\
52	'''Munch:''' Not from a pigeon, it's from a waterfowl.\
53	'''Bolander:''' A what?\
54	'''Munch:''' A waterfowl. From a mallard.\
55	'''Bolander:''' A duck?\
56	'''Munch:''' A well-fed duck.\
57	'''Bolander:''' Right, like you can tell the difference. That couldn't come from a seagull, I suppose?\
58	'''Munch:''' No, gulls have a milky white splurter. Notice the lobular pattern, these splays within splays.\
59	'''Bolander:''' Munch... why do you know these things?
60	* The pilot opens with Lewis bickering with a rambling Crosetti while searching for shell casings at a crime scene.
61	--> '''Lewis:''' If I could just find this damn thing, I could go home.\
62	'''Crosetti:''' Life is a mystery. Just accept it.\
63	'''Lewis:''' You're in your own world, Crosetti.\
64	'''Crosetti:''' The quest for life... not finding... looking. I read about it in this book.\
65	'''Lewis:''' Now, since when did you ever read a book?\
66	'''Crosetti:''' I read this book... an excerpt in this book.\
67	'''Lewis:''' You see? That's what I'm sayin', man. You said you read a book but you didn't read nothing but an excerpt.\
68	'''Crosetti:''' It says you never find what you're looking for because the whole point is looking for it. So, if you find it, it defeats its own purpose.\
69	'''Lewis:''' Y'know you're in your own little world because don't no body else wants to live in there with you.\
70	'''Crosetti:''' You try to explain everything, ya know, but there are things you cannot explain.\
71	'''Lewis:''' Y'know what you are, man? You are a little fat head guinea,you know that? A little Italian Salami-brain.\
72	'''Crosetti:''' You're gonna regret that.
73	* Pembleton's meltdown over the move to the bank in "Autofocus".
74	--> '''Bayliss:''' Frank, go home. You're, I dunno, discombobulated.\
75	'''Pembleton:''' [[SuddenlyShouting OF COURSE I'M DISCOMBOBULATED! I WORK OUT IN A GODDAMN SAFETY DEPOSIT BOX, FOR GOD'S SAKE!]] ''[Pembleton walks over to a phlegmatic tube canister]'' LOOK AT THIS! ''[Pulls it down]'' WHAT IS IT?!
76	* Bayliss attempting to learn Spanish.
77	--> '''Bayliss:''' Cómo estuvo tu fin de semana, Frank? How was your weekend?\
78	'''Pembleton:''' It suck-o the big wiener-o.\
79	'''Bayliss:''' [[{{Eagleland}} You are the ugly American, Frank.]]
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Context Funny / HomicideLifeOnTheStreet