| 1 | '''WARNING:''' Spoilers are unmarked. |
| 2 | ---- |
| 3 | [[foldercontrol]] |
| 4 | |
| 5 | [[folder:Season 1]] |
| 6 | [[AC:1x01 - The Wrong Path]] |
| 7 | |
| 8 | [[AC:1x02 - Eye of the Beholder]] |
| 9 | |
| 10 | [[AC:1x03 - The Road to Calydon]] |
| 11 | |
| 12 | [[AC:1x04 - The Festival of Dionysus]] |
| 13 | * Hercules gets roped into a DrinkingContest with a satyr, but it's actually a con. The satyr has a twin brother, and they switch places every time Hercules downs a mug. Hercules gets pretty hammered by the time he catches a glimpse of both sitting at the table at the same time. |
| 14 | -->'''Hercules:''' Wait a minute... wait a minute. There are two of you.\ |
| 15 | '''Satyrs:''' [[SpeakInUnison Nah, you're just drunk. That's all. Double vision. There's only one of us.]]\ |
| 16 | '''Hercules:''' Only one of you? ''[Satyrs nod]'' Double vision? ''[Satyrs nod again]'' Oh well, in that case, I better put you back together again. ''[slams them into each other]'' |
| 17 | |
| 18 | [[AC:1x05 – Ares]] |
| 19 | * Hercules' DistractedByTheSexy during his arm-wrestling match with Atalanta. Atalanta then quips he's "as much a man as he is a god." |
| 20 | |
| 21 | [[AC:1x06 - As Darkness Falls]] |
| 22 | |
| 23 | [[AC:1x07 - Pride Comes Before a Brawl]] |
| 24 | |
| 25 | [[AC:1x08 - The March to Freedom]] |
| 26 | * When Hercules goes to the marketplace for Alcmene, a pig keeps brushing up against his leg. When Herc gently keeps trying to kick the pig away, the off-screen owner tells him to knock it off and rushes him. Without missing a beat, Hercules flips the guy on his back and nonchalantly says, "Hello, Iolaus." |
| 27 | * When Iolaus tries to shake Oi-Lan's hand, she flips him. |
| 28 | -->'''Iolaus:''' ''[to Hercules]'' It's bad enough when you flip me. |
| 29 | |
| 30 | [[AC:1x09 - The Warrior Princess]] |
| 31 | |
| 32 | [[AC:1x10 - Gladiator]] |
| 33 | |
| 34 | [[AC:1x11 - The Vanishing Dead]] |
| 35 | |
| 36 | [[AC:1x12 - The Gauntlet]] |
| 37 | |
| 38 | [[AC:1x13 - Unchained Heart]] |
| 39 | |
| 40 | [[/folder]] |
| 41 | |
| 42 | [[folder:Season 2]] |
| 43 | [[AC:2x01 - The King of Thieves]] |
| 44 | * The sheer look of OhCrap on Autolycus' face when he realizes it's Hercules he's dealing with. |
| 45 | |
| 46 | [[AC:2x02 - All That Glitters]] |
| 47 | |
| 48 | [[AC:2x03 - What's in a Name?]] |
| 49 | * Poor Iolaus. Locked up in a dungeon with nothing to eat. He makes many attempts to get some of the guards' food, but is constantly thwarted, even by the dogs. |
| 50 | ** In the last scene, Hercules takes Iphicles and Rena to Alcmene's farm. This heartwarming family moment is followed by a sudden knock at the door. |
| 51 | --->'''Iolaus:''' [[BrickJoke Herc, do ya have any, uh, bread or food of any kind?]] |
| 52 | |
| 53 | [[AC:2x04 - Siege at Naxos]] |
| 54 | |
| 55 | [[AC:2x05 - Outcast]] |
| 56 | |
| 57 | [[AC:2x06 - Under the Broken Sky]] |
| 58 | |
| 59 | [[AC:2x07 - The Mother of All Monsters]] |
| 60 | |
| 61 | [[AC:2x08 - The Other Side]] |
| 62 | |
| 63 | [[AC:2x09 - The Fire Down Below]] |
| 64 | |
| 65 | [[AC:2x10 - Cast a Giant Shadow]] |
| 66 | |
| 67 | [[AC:2x11 - Highway to Hades]] |
| 68 | |
| 69 | [[AC:2x12 - The Sword of Veracity]] |
| 70 | * After using the Sword of Veracity (a sword that forces a person to tell the truth) to save a friend, Hercules and Iolaus head out to return the sword. Iolaus still has a hard time believing such an ordinary-looking sword could be so powerful...until it causes a bad case of BrutalHonesty at the end. |
| 71 | -->'''Older Woman:''' You wanna know what I do with those fruitcakes you bake every year? I feed 'em to the goats. |
| 72 | -->'''Younger Woman:''' Yeah? Well, I only put up with you 'cause you're married to my brother. I never liked you anyway. |
| 73 | |
| 74 | [[AC:2x13 - The Enforcer]] |
| 75 | |
| 76 | [[AC:2x14 - Once a Hero]] |
| 77 | * Hercules bumps into a vendor selling assorted merchandise, including Hercules action figures with [[ShowAccuracyToyAccuracy questionable accuracy]]. |
| 78 | |
| 79 | [[AC:2x15 - Heedless Hearts]] |
| 80 | |
| 81 | [[AC:2x16 - Let the Games Begin]] |
| 82 | * Atalanta doing an EffortlessAmazonianLift on Herc as a surprise greeting. |
| 83 | ** Also, her nephew's JawDrop when she takes off her ClarkKentOutfit. |
| 84 | |
| 85 | [[AC:2x17 - The Apple]] |
| 86 | * The episode starts with Hercules sleeping on the beach, but he is awakened by Iolaus who has invented a new sport--surfing! Hercules doubts that riding a piece of wood on a wave will catch on and become popular. Then at the end of the episode, Hercules and Iolaus see some kids surfing. |
| 87 | -->'''Iolaus:''' [[IronicEcho It'll never be popular. Really]]. |
| 88 | * Hercules use the golden apple to distract Aphrodite (rather, "''Aphrodite~!''") at a pivotal moment near the climax. Creator/KevinSorbo's delivery is hilarious. |
| 89 | * In exchange for his vote in the BeautyContest, Artemis offers to make Iolaus the greatest warrior ever. A sequence shows Hercules comically getting curb-stomped, with Iolaus (as TheAhnold) effortlessly saving him with well-shot arrows. |
| 90 | -->'''Hercules:''' ''[to a thug]'' You are in big trouble. |
| 91 | * Athena pulls a similar stunt by offering to make Iolaus the smartest man in the world. A sequence shows Iolaus as a bearded philosopher schooling the likes of Socrates and Plato with his insights. Hercules is the hapless assistant failing to properly transcribe what was just said. |
| 92 | |
| 93 | [[AC:2x18 - Promises]] |
| 94 | |
| 95 | [[AC:2x19 - King for a Day]] |
| 96 | |
| 97 | [[AC:2x20 - Protean Challenge]] |
| 98 | |
| 99 | [[AC:2x21 - The Wedding of Alcmene]] |
| 100 | |
| 101 | [[AC:2x22 - The Power]] |
| 102 | |
| 103 | [[AC:2x23 - Centaur Mentor Journey]] |
| 104 | |
| 105 | [[AC:2x24 - The Cave of Echoes]] |
| 106 | |
| 107 | [[/folder]] |
| 108 | |
| 109 | [[folder:Season 3]] |
| 110 | [[AC:3x01 - Mercenary]] |
| 111 | |
| 112 | [[AC:3x02 - Doomsday]] |
| 113 | |
| 114 | [[AC:3x03 - Love Takes a Holiday]] |
| 115 | |
| 116 | [[AC:3x04 - Mummy Dearest]] |
| 117 | |
| 118 | [[AC:3x05 - Not Fade Away]] |
| 119 | |
| 120 | [[AC:3x06 - Monster Child in the Promised Land]] |
| 121 | |
| 122 | [[AC:3x07 - The Green-Eyed Monster]] |
| 123 | |
| 124 | [[AC:3x08 - Prince Hercules]] |
| 125 | |
| 126 | [[AC:3x09 - A Star to Guide Them]] |
| 127 | |
| 128 | [[AC:3x10 - The Lady and the Dragon]] |
| 129 | |
| 130 | [[AC:3x11 - Long Live the King]] |
| 131 | |
| 132 | [[AC:3x12 - Surprise]] |
| 133 | |
| 134 | [[AC:3x13 - Encounter]] |
| 135 | |
| 136 | [[AC:3x14 - When a Man Loves a Woman]] |
| 137 | |
| 138 | [[AC:3x15 - Judgment Day]] |
| 139 | |
| 140 | [[AC:3x16 - The Lost City]] |
| 141 | |
| 142 | [[AC:3x17 - Les Contemptibles]] |
| 143 | * Jean-Pierre (Iolaus) clumsily taking off his cloak as he holds up Francois (Salmoneus) in his introductory scene, followed immediately by Robert (Hercules) swinging in, hitting Jean-Pierre, and holding up Francois. |
| 144 | ** Jean-Pierre then berates Robert, hitting him numerous times as Robert yells in reply. His French accent makes it funnier. |
| 145 | * Jean-Pierre briefly misinterpreting Robert's efforts to alert him to Francois drawing his sword. |
| 146 | * Francois [[CurbStompBattle curb-stomping]] Jean-Pierre and Robert. If you imagine it as Salmoneus curb-stopping Hercules and Iolaus, it becomes even funnier. |
| 147 | * Francois punching Jean-Pierre and sending him falling to the ground as the latter attempts to rush him is utterly hysterical. |
| 148 | * Robert and Jean-Pierre's "Who?" in reply to Francois mentioning "Hercule." |
| 149 | * Robert picking his nose as Francois relates the tale of Hercules. |
| 150 | * Robert and Jean-Pierre taking off after hitting some French soldiers. |
| 151 | * Robert, Jean-Pierre, and Francois hiding in a chest and moving it across the floor. |
| 152 | |
| 153 | [[AC:3x18 - Reign of Terror]] |
| 154 | |
| 155 | [[AC:3x19 - The End of the Beginning]] |
| 156 | * Autolycus's subplot has several, as he teams up with and gets irritated by his younger self. |
| 157 | ** His younger self mocking him as "Mr. Goody Two-Shoes!" |
| 158 | --->'''Autolycus:''' ''[punching him out]'' [[Film/ArmyOfDarkness I ain't that good.]] |
| 159 | ** "I know this is a huge shock, Hercules, but at one time, I was actually obnoxious." |
| 160 | |
| 161 | [[AC:3x20 - War Bride]] |
| 162 | |
| 163 | [[AC:3x21 - A Rock and a Hard Place]] |
| 164 | |
| 165 | [[AC:3x22 - Atlantis]] |
| 166 | |
| 167 | [[/folder]] |
| 168 | |
| 169 | [[folder:Season 4]] |
| 170 | [[AC:4x01 - Beanstalks and Bad Eggs]] |
| 171 | |
| 172 | [[AC:4x02 - Hero's Heart]] |
| 173 | |
| 174 | [[AC:4x03 - Regrets... I've Had a Few]] |
| 175 | |
| 176 | [[AC:4x04 - Web of Desire]] |
| 177 | |
| 178 | [[AC:4x05 - Stranger in a Strange World]] |
| 179 | * Ares showing Iolaus 2 to Hercules as he laughs. |
| 180 | * Iolaus 2 generally goofing off as Ares and a perplexed Hercules watch. |
| 181 | ** Ares tells Herc: "[[TemptingFate He starts to mime, he's a dead man.]]" Cue Iolaus 2 miming, which prompts Ares to advance on him until Hercules stops him. |
| 182 | * Hercules pulling a StealthHiBye on Iolaus 2 in Ares's temple with a flat "Hi." |
| 183 | * When Iolaus mentions Alcmene to The Sovereign, The Sovereign yells "''[[MommyIssues SHE ABANDONED ME]]!!!''" and throws a temper tantrum. |
| 184 | ** Moments later, The Sovereign, [[MoodSwinger calm again]], pulls a StealthHiBye on Iolaus. |
| 185 | * The petulant way The Sovereign drops Iolaus, whom he was threatening, as he consents to an audience with Aphrodite 2. |
| 186 | * The Sovereign [[OffhandBackhand backhanding]] Iolaus after he comments that Aphrodite 2 is all covered up. |
| 187 | * Iolaus' surprise that Aphrodite 2 is a shy ProperLady. |
| 188 | * Xena 2 being TheDitz throughout the episode. |
| 189 | * As The Sovereign and Xena 2 engage in some DestructoNookie, Iolaus comments "Their foreplay is gonna get me killed!" |
| 190 | * Apparently, in the AlternateUniverse, Hera is the Goddess of Music. |
| 191 | ** On that note, Cupid is the God of War. [[TheDreaded Ares 2 refers to him as "that maniac" and shudders at the thought of him]] as he talks with Iolaus. |
| 192 | *** FridgeBrilliance kicks in when you realize: Cupid's actor Creator/KarlUrban plays another part on Hercules and Xena: '''Julius Caesar'''. Who is, you guessed it, a warmonger! So imagining Cupid as a maniac war god might not be that far-fetched... |
| 193 | * Iolaus trying to amuse The Sovereign to prevent prisoners from being executed. Ares 2 and Aphrodite 2 are amused by Iolaus's antics and jokes. The Sovereign and Xena 2? [[NoSell Not so much]]. |
| 194 | * Xena 2's pouty face as she complains to The Sovereign about him deciding to not execute the prisoners. |
| 195 | * Ares's ''very'' childish "He always liked the two of you better than me!" to Hercules and Aphrodite before going "I'm outta here!" and teleporting away. |
| 196 | * Aphrodite putting a blonde wig on Ares' head as part of a concerted effort to draw out the God of War. |
| 197 | * Xena 2 switching the bride doll with a doll of herself on the wedding cake. |
| 198 | * As Ares 2 officiates The Sovereign and Aphrodite 2's wedding, he pleads for someone to voice objections to the union. When one man steps up, the guards draw their swords and aim it at his neck. The Sovereign then comments "No objections." |
| 199 | * Xena 2 and Aphrodite 2's CatFight, which involves the two women taking turns smashing the other's head into the wedding cake. |
| 200 | * After Xena 2 uses her shoe much in the same way her normal counterpart uses her chakram (which is, in and of itself, a CMOF), she comments that she has more skill than she thought, then decides to [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere make a break for it]]. |
| 201 | * TheReveal that the Executioner is [[DiegeticSoundtrackUsage Gabrielle 2]] who demands to know "Where's that Trojan elephant that did this to me?" |
| 202 | * Hercules and Ares striking each other at the same time, sending themselves skidding across the ground. |
| 203 | * After Zeus opens another dimensional portal, Hercules thanks Ares for his help and runs for the portal, while Ares stays on the ground and bewilderingly asks "I helped ''him''?" |
| 204 | * The Sovereign's {{narm}}y BigNo as he's trapped between dimensions. |
| 205 | * Ares saying he hates happy endings before teleporting away with Aphrodite. |
| 206 | * The look on Iolaus' face when Hercules asks him if he'd look better with a beard. |
| 207 | |
| 208 | [[AC:4x06 - Two Men and a Baby]] |
| 209 | |
| 210 | [[AC:4x07 - Prodigal Sister]] |
| 211 | |
| 212 | [[AC:4x08 - ...And Fancy Free]] |
| 213 | |
| 214 | [[AC:4x09 - If I Had a Hammer...]] |
| 215 | * Atalanta shutting [[AmazonChaser Salmoneus]] up with a punch to the chest as Sal is talking about her physical prowess. |
| 216 | |
| 217 | [[AC:4x10 - Hercules on Trial]] |
| 218 | |
| 219 | [[AC:4x11 - Medea Culpa]] |
| 220 | |
| 221 | [[AC:4x12 - Men in Pink]] |
| 222 | * Salmoneus. Autolcyus. ''Together''. HilarityEnsues does not even begin to cover it. |
| 223 | ** When they first meet, Autolocyus introduces himself as Salmoneus goes "who?" |
| 224 | --->'''Salmoneus:''' Oh! The King of Thieves! Well, it's an honor to be robbed by you, sir! |
| 225 | --->'''Autolycus:''' Think nothing of it my good man. |
| 226 | ** Blamed for the murder of a king, Salmoneus resists Autolycus' DisguisedInDrag plan and says they're innocent. |
| 227 | -->'''Autolycus:''' [[SarcasmMode Oh, sure, they'll believe that.]] You were holding the knife, and I'm the King of Thieves. If we're lucky, they'll only kill us once. |
| 228 | ** The two manage to hide in a fruit market with watermelons as helmets. It works. |
| 229 | ** The two in drag performing for a women's club. Words cannot do justice. |
| 230 | ** When Autolycus is forced to join Salmoneus in his bath (as he doesn't have time to change back into his female clothes and "equipment"), the Widow Twankey asks who they think they are, "Xena and Gabrielle?" |
| 231 | [[AC:4x13 - Armageddon Now, Part 1]] |
| 232 | * Ares and Strife's EvilCannotComprehendGood moment: |
| 233 | -->'''Hercules:''' Don't you have ''any'' scruples? |
| 234 | -->'''Strife:''' Eh? |
| 235 | -->'''Ares:''' Any what? |
| 236 | * Ares going "Oh, the horror!" as Hercules destroys the weapons the God of War tried to give to King Tyndareus. |
| 237 | ** Ares then gripes it took Hephaestus months to make those weapons, to which Herc replies Hephaestus needs a new hobby, like "knitting." Herc's mocking smile makes it better. |
| 238 | * Ares nodding insistently at Strife, '''twice''', to attack Hercules. |
| 239 | * Strife yelling and doing fighting moves at Hercules, who simply punches him and sends him flying backwards into Ares' arms. |
| 240 | ** Ares then remarks "And the day started so well" and drops Strife. |
| 241 | * After Strife points out Callisto isn't one of them, Ares very dryly tells him "Shut up, Strife" and [[OffhandBackhand backhands him]]. |
| 242 | ** And when Strife tries to tell Ares that Callisto is playing him, BOTH Ares and Callisto tell him "Shut up, Strife!" and send him flying backwards with streams of fire. |
| 243 | * The Sovereign's extremely {{narm}}y cry of "DISAPPOINTED!" after Ares steals the Hind's Blood medallion. |
| 244 | * Ares knocking Strife on his head when he again tries to interfere between him and Callisto. |
| 245 | * The Sovereign falling flat on his face after being exposed to the Greek equivalent of knockout gas. |
| 246 | ** And Iolaus briefly falling asleep. |
| 247 | |
| 248 | [[AC:4x14 - Armageddon Now, Part 2]] |
| 249 | * In the AlternateTimeline, Iolaus finds Ares and tries to get his help against Xena, only for Ares to passionately comment about how Xena's name excites him, then asks Iolaus in a conversational tone why he'd want to stop her. |
| 250 | * Hercules' "Surprise!" to Callisto after he escapes from the world between worlds. Also an awesome moment. |
| 251 | * The Sovereign's "Very DISAPPOINTED!" after the portal to the real world closes, followed by him grumbling "[[OtherMeAnnoysMe I really hate him]]." |
| 252 | |
| 253 | [[AC:4x15 - Yes, Virginia, There is a Hercules]] |
| 254 | * When Rob Tapert wakes from a nightmare wearing a blindfold, he worries he's gone blind. He then prays to {{God}}, saying he'll sing in the shower instead. |
| 255 | * Rob's response to Eric Gruendemann after learning about the earthquake: "I'm a producer. I don't feel anything." |
| 256 | * Liz Friedman's introduction includes a shot of a photo of Rob with knives embedded into it. |
| 257 | * Jerry Patrick Brown's entrance involves him [[SeriousBusiness going berserk during a game of paintball]]. |
| 258 | -->'''Jerry:''' Paintball ain't just a game, soldier. It's a metaphor for life! It's survival of the fittest. Search and destroy. Kill or be killed. These are a few of my favorite things. |
| 259 | ** When Liz calls him, Jerry asks Liz if she's on a secure line. |
| 260 | * Paul Robert Coyle coming onto a casino worker (and failing), then thinking the person who's calling him is a debt collector. |
| 261 | ** He then tries to come onto Liz over the phone, only for Liz to abruptly hang up on him. |
| 262 | * During Creator/AlexKurtzman and Creator/RobertoOrci's introduction, they're seen clutching stuffed dolls while sleeping. |
| 263 | ** TheReveal that Alex and Bob are living together inside a closet in Renaissance Pictures' conference room. |
| 264 | * Liz blowing on Paul's house of cards at the conference table. |
| 265 | * Jerry checking the conference room for bugs. When Liz tells him the room isn't bugged: |
| 266 | -->'''Jerry:''' ''That''... ''[points at Liz]'' ...is exactly what they want you to think. ''[goes to check a vase]'' |
| 267 | ** When Rob barges in, Jerry tries to block the door or something, only to end up getting hit in the face. |
| 268 | * Paul fretting over Creator/KevinSorbo going missing: |
| 269 | -->'''Paul:''' No star, no show! No show, no paycheck! No paycheck, no kneecaps! I got debts! |
| 270 | * This lovely exchange: |
| 271 | -->'''Jerry:''' Back in Korea, we had a saying: "You never leave a man behind." |
| 272 | -->'''Liz:''' When were you in Korea? |
| 273 | -->'''Jerry:''' I was there for the Olympics, missy! It was hell. |
| 274 | * "Davey, I'm gonna give you one last chance to prove you're not a moron." |
| 275 | ** Rob muttering his suspicion that Davey is a dope fiend after the latter eagerly leaves to complete his task. |
| 276 | * When Liz suggests an episode that focuses on a strong woman, Rob tells her they can't afford Margaret Thatcher. |
| 277 | * As Alex points out that, without a good guy to fight, Ares wouldn't have anything to do, we get treated to a scene of Ares and Callisto doing RockPaperScissors, complete with whooshing noises. Ares loses and storms off, calling Callisto "Dumb blonde!" to which Callisto childishly yells back "Hey!" |
| 278 | * The male production crew [[DiegeticSoundtrackUsage humming the show's theme]] in the bathroom. |
| 279 | * Melissa Blake's over-the-top reaction after receiving word that B.S. Hollinsfoffer, the head of the studio, is on his way to the office. |
| 280 | ** Paul frets that Hollinsoffer is gonna fire them, Jerry wields his knife and says "Bring him on, baby!", and Liz tells them both to shut up. |
| 281 | * Hollinsfoffer's reply to Melissa: "Say, you're a pretty good liar. Are you an executive?" |
| 282 | * This lovely nugget: |
| 283 | -->'''Hollinsfoffer:''' Weekends are for Communists! |
| 284 | -->'''Liz:''' Look what happened to them. |
| 285 | * Paul wussing out and tearfully admitting to Hollinsfoffer that Sorbo is missing. |
| 286 | ** Hollinsfoffer then pushes Paul off of him, and Paul hits his head on the conference table before falling to the floor. |
| 287 | * Hollinsfoffer and Rob's slapping match, followed by both men slapping Alex when he tries to calm them down. Alex then stumbles backward into Jerry who pushes him away. Alex's glasses fall off and he ends up [[ThanksForTheMammary accidentally groping Liz's breasts]]. Liz then decks him in the face, sending him falling over the conference table. |
| 288 | * After Paul pitches the idea of trapping Hercules in a vortex and the Sovereign wreaking havoc in order to compensate for Hercules' absence, Liz calls him an idiot and points out that Sorbo also played the Sovereign. Cue Paul bursting into tears. |
| 289 | * The male production crew [[DistractedByTheSexy going ga-ga]] over [[MsFanservice Beth Hymson]], the casting director who implies she's sleeping with her {{hunk}}y gardener Johnny Pinko ("You should see the size of his weed whacker!"). |
| 290 | * The production crew correctly guessing Johnny's question to them: "What's my motivation?" |
| 291 | * Alex and Bob scooch closer to Beth, who gives them a look, prompting them to scooch away. |
| 292 | * Johnny's over-the-top audition for Hercules. |
| 293 | ** Made better by Beth's...[[ImmodestOrgasm over-enthusiastic]] praise of his performance. All the while [[EatingTheEyeCandy Paul stares at her cleavage]]. |
| 294 | * Other actors who audition include a Creator/SeanConnery-[[NoCelebritiesWereHarmed esque]] actor, a ventriloquist, a ''mime'', and an ElvisImpersonator. |
| 295 | ** Thus snarks Liz afterward: |
| 296 | --->'''Liz:''' Well, if we ever make a show called ''Rejects'', we'll know where to look. |
| 297 | * Rob proving how much of a DirtyCoward he is by challenging Jerry to a throw-down...and then grabbing Liz, [[HumanShield holding her in front of him]], and saying Jerry will have to go through her. |
| 298 | ** Paul then bets ten bucks on Liz for the first round. |
| 299 | * Davey calling the studio while trying to outrun a bull stampede in Spain. |
| 300 | * Liz punching Paul when he hugs her as he freaks out. |
| 301 | ** When Paul comes to and asks what happened: |
| 302 | --->'''Liz:''' Aftershock. You slipped and fell on my fist. |
| 303 | * As Melissa prepares to cut Rob's hair, she glances from the scissors to Liz who mouths at her "Not now." |
| 304 | * Melissa accidentally cutting off some of Rob's hair, and everyone's amused reactions to it. |
| 305 | * Apparently, Beth tried to get [[QuestionableCasting Don Knotts to replace Sorbo as Hercules]]. |
| 306 | * After Alex and Bob pitch their idea for "Chimpules": |
| 307 | -->'''Rob:''' You guys sit there like vegetables for six months and the first idea you come up with is "Chimpules?!" |
| 308 | -->'''Alex:''' Well, we were saving it for the right time. |
| 309 | -->'''Hollinsfoffer:''' How the fu([[SoundEffectBleep bleep]]) did they get these jobs?! |
| 310 | * During the climatic brawl among the production staff, [[GroinAttack Liz bites Jerry's crotch]] and Jerry lets out a high-pitched "Damn!" |
| 311 | * The very reason Ares manipulated everything so the show would get canceled: So he could watch ''Series/Millennium1996'' in peace. |
| 312 | ** Ares' [[YouHaveGotToBeKiddingMe expression]] when Strife mentions he misses ''Series/CopRock''. |
| 313 | ** Strife moving a frozen Bob and Ares signaling for him that the position is perfect. |
| 314 | * TheReveal that Hercules is actually starring AsHimself under the name Kevin Sorbo. |
| 315 | |
| 316 | [[AC:4x16 – Porkules]] |
| 317 | |
| 318 | [[AC:4x17 - One Fowl Day]] |
| 319 | * Discord as a giant chicken prompts arguably the definitive version of the old joke ever. |
| 320 | -->'''Barnabus:''' [[ChickenJoke Why did the chicken cross the road?]] |
| 321 | -->'''Autolycus:''' To kill us all! |
| 322 | |
| 323 | [[AC:4x18 - My Fair Cupcake]] |
| 324 | |
| 325 | [[AC:4x19 - War Wounds]] |
| 326 | |
| 327 | [[AC:4x20 - Twilight]] |
| 328 | |
| 329 | [[AC:4x21 - Top God]] |
| 330 | * During his and Young Hercules' fight with Ariadne's harassers, Young Jason sticks his banana into his foe's mouth and tells him "Enjoy the rest!" before striking him. |
| 331 | * When Apollo mentions that Hercules' name comes up a lot whenever Zeus and Hera talk, Young Hercules gives Young Jason a "I told you so" wink. |
| 332 | * Zeus asking Young Hercules if there's something wrong with his hearing after Hercules asks if he's Zeus. |
| 333 | ** Young Herc insists to Zeus that Apollo said it was okay for him to have ambrosia. The King of the Gods gives a perfect "annoyed dad" response: "I don't care what he said!" |
| 334 | |
| 335 | [[AC:4x22 - Reunions]] |
| 336 | * A BroughtDownToNormal Zeus takes refuge in a bar and immediately turns on the charm for a blonde patron. This annoys her boyfriend, but later, all three of them are drunkenly singing tavern songs. |
| 337 | ** Also good is Hera's reaction. She's enraged that Zeus wound up in the arms of "a bimbo" and is having the time of his life. |
| 338 | --->'''Hera:''' He's supposed to be suffering--driving himself crazy because once he was somebody!\ |
| 339 | '''Ares:''' [[SarcasmMode Y'know, maybe it might just come to him how miserable he is without you.]] |
| 340 | |
| 341 | [[/folder]] |
| 342 | |
| 343 | [[folder:Season 5]] |
| 344 | [[AC:5x01 - Faith]] |
| 345 | * When [[ActionGirl Nebula]] fights off some guys, Hercules and Iolaus just shrug and sit down until she calls for their help. |
| 346 | |
| 347 | [[AC:5x02 - Descent]] |
| 348 | |
| 349 | [[AC:5x03 - Resurrection]] |
| 350 | |
| 351 | [[AC:5x04 - Genies and Grecians and Geeks, Oh My]] |
| 352 | |
| 353 | [[AC:5x05 - Render Unto Caesar]] |
| 354 | |
| 355 | [[AC:5x06 - Norse By Norsevest]] |
| 356 | |
| 357 | [[AC:5x07 - Somewhere Over the Rainbow Bridge]] |
| 358 | |
| 359 | [[AC:5x08 - Darkness Rising]] |
| 360 | * Dahak makes it clear to Nebula that he doesn't take rejection well. At all. |
| 361 | -->'''Dahak:''' NO! IT'S NOT OVER UNTIL I SAY IT'S OVER! |
| 362 | * Dahak, in Iolaus' body, greeting Hercules with "Boo!" |
| 363 | * After Hercules declares to Dahak that he isn't staying, Dahak pretends to sob how he came {{back from the dead}} just to see Hercules. |
| 364 | * As Dahak tells Hercules how he was able to enter the world despite Herc's efforts to stop him, he causes creepy organ music to play in the background as he mockingly relates his tale. |
| 365 | ** He ends the story by [[WaxingLyrical singing]] "The end!", then considers for a moment before remarking "Or maybe it's only the beginning." |
| 366 | ** And of course how he begins his story: "[[OpeningShoutOut It's the story of a time long ago...]]" |
| 367 | * During the climatic fight, Dahak whistles at some bladed weapons as he telekinetically hurls them at Hercules. |
| 368 | * Herc's PreAsskickingOneLiner after Dahak mimics his voice: "Not bad, but your delivery lacked [[TalkToTheFist a certain punch]]!" |
| 369 | |
| 370 | [[AC:5x09 - For Those of You Just Joining Us]] |
| 371 | * Rob's meeting with Hollinsfoffer at the start. |
| 372 | ** After they watch a clip of Hercules, Iolaus, and Autolycus facing a giant chicken. |
| 373 | --->'''Hollinsfoffer:''' Let me get this straight, Tapert...Hercules versus a chicken?\ |
| 374 | '''Rob:''' You know, that's not fair. It was a giant chicken. |
| 375 | ** Hollinsfoffer then jabs a cattle prod into Rob's foot which is propped up on his desk. |
| 376 | ** "Oh, come on, B.S. You know me better than that. I never cared about quality." |
| 377 | ** This nugget: |
| 378 | --->'''Hollinsfoffer:''' What is it with you and animals, anyway?\ |
| 379 | '''Rob:''' ''[concerned, like he MIGHT be guilty of [[BestialityIsDepraved something]]]'' Why, what have you heard? |
| 380 | ** "I want action! I want romance! I wanna see Salmoneus in more episodes!" |
| 381 | ** Hollinsfoffer then orders Rob and his crew to come up with a new script by the end of the week or Rob will be selling cotton candy at an amusement park dressed as Woody Woodpecker, followed by Hollinsfoffer doing a Woody Woodpecker laugh. |
| 382 | ** Rob challenges Hollinsfoffer, calling him "spinach beard." Cut to Rob being thrown through the doors of Hollinsfoffer's office. |
| 383 | * Liz going "Damn!" after Rob replies nothing's broken after being thrown out of Hollinsfoffer's office. |
| 384 | * This brief but lovely exchange: |
| 385 | -->'''Rob:''' Hollinsfoffer wants a bunch of new story ideas by end of week, or it's fade out on me.\ |
| 386 | '''Melissa:''' What's the bad news? |
| 387 | * The scene where Hercules, as Creator/KevinSorbo, is driving along, when Ares suddenly appears in the car with him, holding a Hercules action figure: |
| 388 | -->'''Ares:''' ''[high-pitched voice]'' Oh my God, it's Kevin Sorbo! ''[bites the action figure's head off]'' Oh, oh, Momma! Momma! Oh, oh! ''[tosses the figure out of the car]'' Oh, the ''humanity''! |
| 389 | ** Before Ares shows up, Hercules is [[DiegeticSoundtrackUsage whistling the show's theme tune]]. |
| 390 | ** As Hercules drives and Ares mentions "[[DrivingADesk those cheesy blue-screen effects]]", the background changes, showing old-time scenes involving a ''Tyrannosaurus rex'', horse-racing, and fighting soldiers. |
| 391 | *** For bigger laughs, the horse-racing is seen behind Hercules while the soldiers scene is shown behind Ares. |
| 392 | ** Ares hits the bottom of MotiveDecay, as he reveals what he wants from his do-gooder brother: [[TheMerch "Merchandising rights."]] |
| 393 | *** The resigned self-awareness in Ares' voice as he says that line makes it funnier; it's like he's saying "Yeah, I know my motives suck, but what else am I gonna do?" |
| 394 | ** Hercules eventually boots Ares out of the car ("This is where you get off"), and Ares is heard cursing at Herc. |
| 395 | * Paul is nervous about the retreat: |
| 396 | -->'''Paul:''' I just got a call. They told us to pack our bags. They're shipping us out, aren't they? Why, Jerry?! Why?!\ |
| 397 | '''Rob:''' Because we've all gotta learn to work together, to be creative in a crunch, to boost overall morale. By the way, Paul, your last script sucked.\ |
| 398 | '''Paul:''' ''[dropping to his knees]'' I'll change my ways! I promise! I'll only drink when I'm awake! I'll tip all the showgirls! |
| 399 | * The looks on Paul and Jerry's faces after Rob announces they're going on a corporate retreat. |
| 400 | * Everyone dresses in outdoorsy clothes...except Liz who retains her black suit. |
| 401 | * Sunny Day's introduction. |
| 402 | -->'''Sunny Day:''' Well, howdy y'all, y'all. Welcome to Camp Wannachuck, where every day, you'll see a sunny day. 'Cause that's my name: Sunny Day.\ |
| 403 | '''Liz:''' Pray for rain. |
| 404 | * Everyone, but ''especially'' Paul, freaking out upon meeting Norma Bates, complete with ''Film/{{Psycho}}''-style music. |
| 405 | * "Eeny, meeny, miny...'''DIE'''!" |
| 406 | * The "trust exercise" that has the rest of the production crew withdraw their arms as Rob falls to the ground. |
| 407 | ** Rob's shoes squeaking as he turns around on the table. |
| 408 | ** After Rob hits the ground and falls unconscious, Paul steals Rob's wallet as he checks to see if he's all right. And he does this ''in plain sight of everyone else''. Who make no move to stop him. |
| 409 | *** This: |
| 410 | ---->'''Jerry:''' Is he dead?\ |
| 411 | '''Liz:''' Don't tease me. |
| 412 | * Iolaus' "cheesy death montage" scene. First is {{spontaneous combustion}}, then being eaten by a lizard and, finally, "[[WesternAnimation/LooneyTunes the old fashioned ACME way]]." |
| 413 | -->'''Iolaus:''' One of those days... |
| 414 | * When Hercules arrives, Jerry shoots up from his seat, salutes, and barks "Ten-hut!" |
| 415 | * Hercules pitching how to kill off Iolaus with dignity, recapping "Faith." After the clips are done, we cut back to a bawling production crew. |
| 416 | -->'''Jerry:''' [[ManlyTears I think I got somethin' in my eyes.]] |
| 417 | * Melissa telling Paul that having a conversation with him is like being in a coma without the advantages. |
| 418 | * As Norma looks creepily at the camera after supposedly poisoning the soup, lightning flashes...even though it's sunny outside. |
| 419 | * Hercules "accidentally" breaking the dining table to prevent the crew from eating Sunny Day's poisoned soup. |
| 420 | * After Jerry enthusiastically answers Sunny Day's question ("A true sign of character is knowing when to say, 'The buck stops here.' Which one of our illustrious presidents had that very motto on his desk?" "I know it. I know it! Our 33rd president, and a great American, Mr. UsefulNotes/HarrySTruman!"), Liz remarks "I think they dropped the bomb in the wrong place." |
| 421 | * Paul freaking out in the sweat lodge, saying he can't breathe and asking Melissa to give him "mouth-to-mouth," prompting Melissa to knock him out. |
| 422 | ** As Jerry comments on how there's nothing scarier than seeing Paul's backside, Paul farts. |
| 423 | ** Everyone wears a towel in the sweat lodge...except Liz who again retains her black business suit. |
| 424 | ** Rob's idea of Hercules getting in touch with his spiritual side: A clip of Hercules, his long hair tied in a ponytail, standing on someone's doorstep holding a flower and asking, in a very effeminate voice, for a donation to "the Church of Soul and Consciousness," only for said someone to slam the door in his face ("Get lost!"). |
| 425 | ** Rob considering Hercules' thoughtful answer, accompanied by the sound of wheels turning, until Hercules goes "Never mind." |
| 426 | ** Rob's idea of "Hercules in Ireland": Hercules dressed in a kilt and playing the bagpipes, while a leprechaun dances at his feet. |
| 427 | --->'''Rob:''' Sometimes, I'm so brilliant, it's frightening!\ |
| 428 | '''Melissa:''' Well, ya got it half-right. |
| 429 | ** [[WeNeedADistraction "Look, everyone, it's Mel Torme!"]] |
| 430 | * Norma Bates again startling the production crew right after [[TemptingFate Rob tells everyone they're going to stay "even if it kills us."]] |
| 431 | ** [[AmbiguouslyGay Liz just gives Norma a small smile and strokes her own hair]]. |
| 432 | ** Sunny Day then shows up and chides Norma for leaving the house. |
| 433 | --->'''Sunny Day:''' Norma, honey, you know the rules. In the closet by sundown. Now, get. |
| 434 | * Sunny Day then tells the gang that Norma hasn't been the same since [[Music/TheSpiceGirls Ginger Spice left the group]]. This news takes Jerry by surprise. |
| 435 | -->'''Jerry:''' Dear God in Heaven, say it ain't so! |
| 436 | * After Jerry points out that Hercules's pitch doesn't account for the villain in the end and Hercules replies he left that open to build up the villain's next appearance, Paul cackles at Jerry who [[OffhandBackhand backhands him]]. |
| 437 | * Everyone huddling behind Hercules as they try to figure out the answer to Hercules' question. Liz doesn't even join them; she just steps into a corner by herself. |
| 438 | * The buzzer sound effect that's heard when Rob gives the wrong answer: "Falafel." |
| 439 | * Jerry doing karate moves as the cave starts to collapse. |
| 440 | * The {{flashback}} of Hercules coming across Sunny Day, revealed to be Hollinsfoffer, singing "[[Theatre/TheMarriageOfFigaro Figaro]]" in [[VocalDissonance a deep voice]]. |
| 441 | * How Hercules figured out Sunny Day is Hollinsfoffer: Norma Bates simply slipped him a note in the sweat lodge. |
| 442 | * Hollinsfoffer growling at Norma after she handcuffs him roughly. |
| 443 | * Hercules making a chatting motion as Hollinsfoffer rants about his EvilPlan. |
| 444 | * When Ares zaps into the cave: |
| 445 | -->'''Rob:''' Oh... |
| 446 | -->'''Liz:''' My... |
| 447 | -->'''Jerry:''' ''[happily]'' God... |
| 448 | -->'''Melissa:''' Of... |
| 449 | -->'''Paul:''' War! ''[passes out]'' |
| 450 | * "You haven't heard the last of me! Wherever there's television, there'll always be B.S.!" |
| 451 | * Ares pulling an IAlwaysWantedToSayThat on Hollinsfoffer by telling him "You will never work in this town again!" |
| 452 | * Jerry expressing it's "kinda comforting" that the God of War is real. |
| 453 | |
| 454 | [[AC:5x10 - Let There Be Light]] |
| 455 | * Dahak's response to Hercules overturning a table in one of his temples. |
| 456 | -->'''Dahak:''' The maid doesn't come until tomorrow. |
| 457 | * Dahak's religious gathering strongly resembles something one would see in a Western-world Christian church, complete with organ music and a lively choir. Dahak even speaks with a Southern accent as he preaches to his congregation. |
| 458 | * Hercules' greeting to Dahak during his BigDamnHeroes moment: |
| 459 | -->'''Hercules:''' Hi, Dahak. Now it's your turn to pray. |
| 460 | * Herc's BondOneLiner to Dahak as he prepares to use the mystical gem against him: |
| 461 | -->'''Hercules:''' Oh, lighten up! |
| 462 | |
| 463 | [[AC:5x11 – Redemption]] |
| 464 | * Ares' failed attempt to attack Nebula and Morrigan. |
| 465 | -->'''Ares:''' ''[as his zap pops out]'' Oh, great. |
| 466 | -->'''Nebula:''' Don't worry. [[DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything Happens to all men sooner or later.]] |
| 467 | * Ares hurting his ankle after he jumps down from his perch, then hiding behind a statue of himself. |
| 468 | ** Nebula then asking him "You ''are'' Ares, right?" |
| 469 | * After a bunch of Dahak's followers burst into the temple: |
| 470 | -->'''Nebula:''' I've heard of religious conviction, but this is ridiculous. |
| 471 | * As Ares flees with Nebula and Morrigan, he takes a moment to turn back and tell his pursuers "You're all on my list!", prompting Nebula to grab and pull him away with her. |
| 472 | * Ares laughing as Nebula and Morrigan wisely haul ass away from Dahak's worshipers after he turns them on the two women. |
| 473 | |
| 474 | [[AC:5x12 - Sky High]] |
| 475 | |
| 476 | [[AC:5x13 - Stranger and Stranger]] |
| 477 | * When Hercules finds the Sovereign out cold with a nasty bruise on his head and his blood on a large rock. |
| 478 | -->'''Hercules:''' Ah. Now I know why I have headache. |
| 479 | * Iolaus 2 freaking out after learning the original Iolaus is dead. |
| 480 | * Iolaus 2 tells Hercules he wound up in the netherworld through a portal and that the Sovereign doesn't know about it. |
| 481 | -->'''Iolaus 2:''' ''[whispers]'' I told him (the Sovereign) I didn't know how I got in here.\ |
| 482 | '''Hercules:''' And he believed you?\ |
| 483 | '''Iolaus 2:''' Yeah.\ |
| 484 | '''Hercules:''' ''[groans]'' Maybe I'm not as smart as I think I am. |
| 485 | * Iolaus 2 refuses to go with Hercules but changes his minds when The Sovereign begins to stir. |
| 486 | * Ares 2 checking himself out in a mirror and asking "Does this outfit make my butt look big?" |
| 487 | * Nebula 2 dissolving into tears and complaining that no one "likes me for me!" |
| 488 | * Nebula 2 welcoming Hercules (posing as The Sovereign) and flirting with him...then punching him, demanding to know where he's been and grousing about his absence as she pushes him repeatedly. |
| 489 | -->'''Nebula 2:''' Where have you been?! Every day without you has been an eternity, every eternity an infinity, every infinity-- |
| 490 | -->'''Hercules:''' Hey! I get your point! |
| 491 | ** She then executes a GroinAttack on Hercules, complete with a cartoonish squeak and Herc going "Hello!" with the funniest stunned expression on his face. |
| 492 | *** When Nebula lets go of Hercules'...goods, another squeak is heard. |
| 493 | * Hercules tossing Falafel out of the window to maintain his guise as The Sovereign. |
| 494 | * Hercules ending up in a suggestive position on a statue after Nebula 2 pushes him across the room. |
| 495 | * [[MassOhCrap Everyone else vacating the room]] the moment Nebula 2 [[WhipOfDominance breaks out her whip]]. |
| 496 | * Nebula 2 hissing at Iolaus 2 as she's escorted away by guards. |
| 497 | * Ares 2, observing Ares and Nebula 2 arguing, asking "Why can't we all get along?" as he sheds a SingleTear. |
| 498 | * Nebula 2's over-the-top grief after Ares informs her that the real Sovereign is dead, as well as Ares' disgusted assumption that she cares for "that clown." Followed by this: |
| 499 | -->'''Nebula 2:''' No! [[AllWomenAreLustful I just thought I was gonna get lucky tonight!]] |
| 500 | -->''[[[YouHaveGotToBeKiddingMe Ares turns away in exasperation]]]'' |
| 501 | * Hercules asks Ares 2 to distract the original Ares. Ares 2 tries to point out that he's a "[[TheMatchmaker lover, not a fighter]]." But when put on the spot, this inspires him to use his talent by getting Nebula 2 to fall for Ares...''hard''. It's safe to say that Ares is [[DistractedByTheSexy pretty distracted]]. |
| 502 | ** As Nebula 2 and Ares start to get it on (complete with [[ImmodestOrgasm grunts and cat sounds]]), Ares 2's initial joy turns to revulsion and [[HeadTiltinglyKinky he turns away]], saying "I can't bear to look"...but then glances back. |
| 503 | ** Ares' reaction when he learns what his double has done. |
| 504 | --->'''Ares:''' You! I owe you for this! |
| 505 | *** Ares 2 yelping like a girl and teleporting away when Ares throws a vase at him. |
| 506 | * Hercules punching Ares and sending him flying in and out through various doors. |
| 507 | * Hercules commenting that [[{{Stripperific}} Nebula 2]] would look better in a jail cell. |
| 508 | |
| 509 | [[AC:5x14 - Just Passing Through]] |
| 510 | * In a {{flashback}}, Hercules uses Iolaus as a barbell for exercise. |
| 511 | * Hercules tells Iolaus to do 500 sit-ups while he goes out for a morning jog. Iolaus instead goes back to sleep, but when he hears Hercules approaching, he wakes up and pretends to just have finished his sit-ups. Hercules, of course, doesn't buy it. Iolaus claims that he did ''dream'' about exercising. |
| 512 | -->'''Hercules:''' And I am sure you're in tiptop condition... in your dreams. |
| 513 | * After Iolaus tries to amuse Hercules with a lame Hydra joke: |
| 514 | -->'''Hercules:''' [[LaughingAtYourOwnJokes Have you ever noticed you always laugh at your own jokes]]? |
| 515 | * Hercules ricochets a rock into the water and even predicts how it'll land in the water before throwing it. When it's Iolaus' turn, the rock bounces off a tree and hits him in the head. |
| 516 | * Hercules and Iolaus 2 arrives at [[LethalChef Falafel's stand]]. Before Hercules can warn him about Falafel's food, Iolaus 2 eats some of it and immediately spits it out. |
| 517 | -->'''Iolaus 2:''' In my world, Falafel is the Sovereign's chef. People come running from miles around to taste his food. |
| 518 | -->'''Hercules:''' Well, here, they run for miles to avoid it. |
| 519 | * Neither Hercules or Iolaus have ever played a musical instrument before. When Iolaus attempts to play a lute he purchased for the first time, he plays it rather poorly. Hercules, however, [[TheAce played it flawlessly]], having the lute sound like an electric guitar. Alas, this gets him chased by [[GroupieBrigade a mob of fan girls]]. |
| 520 | * The panther statue comes to life and starts attacking Hercules, Iolaus, and Autolycus. After noticing the panther liked the sound coming from the lute, Hercules performed a soft song (with Iolaus and Autolycus also singing) to [[MusicSoothesTheSavageBeast soothe the panther]]. Unfortunately, a string on the lute quickly broke, causing Hercules to glare at Iolaus. |
| 521 | -->'''Iolaus:''' What do you expect? I only paid two dinars for it. |
| 522 | |
| 523 | [[AC:5x15 - Greece is Burning]] |
| 524 | |
| 525 | [[AC:5x16 - We'll Always Have Cyprus]] |
| 526 | |
| 527 | [[AC:5x17 - The Academy]] |
| 528 | |
| 529 | [[AC:5x18 - Love on the Rocks]] |
| 530 | |
| 531 | [[AC:5x19 - Once Upon a Future King]] |
| 532 | |
| 533 | [[AC:5x20 - Fade Out]] |
| 534 | * How Hercules sees through Deimos' old man disguise. |
| 535 | -->'''Deimos:''' How'd you know?\ |
| 536 | '''Hercules:''' Your annoying laugh.\ |
| 537 | ''[Deimos begins laughing uncontrollably]''\ |
| 538 | '''Hercules:''' That wasn't a compliment! |
| 539 | |
| 540 | [[AC:5x21 - My Best Girl's Wedding]] |
| 541 | |
| 542 | [[AC:5x22 – Revelations]] |
| 543 | * After his dream of Iolaus, Hercules utters to himself, "No more stewed possum for me." |
| 544 | ** After he has another vision of Iolaus, Herc goes, "Definitely no more stewed possum for me." |
| 545 | * Hercules's un-enthused response after Ares zaps in: |
| 546 | -->'''Hercules:''' Oh, goody, now my day is complete. |
| 547 | * After Hercules announces his intentions to stop a brewing war and heads off, we get this reply from the God of War with all the [[SarcasmMode sarcastic petulance]] of a recalcitrant teenager: |
| 548 | -->'''Ares:''' Well, that's new. |
| 549 | * After the two armies start fighting, Ares appears in the midst of the hostilities and looks around at the soldiers in awe ("I had this battle scheduled for next week!") before proceeding to excitedly cheer them on. You'd think he was a high-school gym teacher egging students on. |
| 550 | * Hercules briefly suspecting Iolaus isn't Iolaus, and Iolaus' efforts to convince him he is the genuine article. |
| 551 | * Ares' gleeful entrance before Hercules and Iolaus. |
| 552 | ** Ares asking Iolaus, "Aren't you dead?", followed by Iolaus feigning gasping in pain as Hercules suggests "Why don't you go be annoying someplace else?" |
| 553 | * The breakout of a war causes Ares so much joy that [[ForTheLulz he blows up a cow for the fun of it]]. |
| 554 | -->'''Hercules:''' ''[in the funniest "WTF?" tone of voice ever]'' That was a cow.\ |
| 555 | '''Ares:''' [[{{Pun}} Udder destruction.]] |
| 556 | ** Hercules says he has no time to bother with Ares because Michael is threatening to end the world. |
| 557 | --->'''Ares:''' You're bluffing.\ |
| 558 | '''Hercules:''' [[SarcasmMode Okay, I'm bluffing.]] See ya.\ |
| 559 | ''[Hercules and Iolaus begin walking off]''\ |
| 560 | '''Iolaus:''' Boy, poor Ares. Have to work it out for himself.\ |
| 561 | '''Hercules:''' I guess so, but in a way, I envy him.\ |
| 562 | '''Iolaus:''' Envy him?\ |
| 563 | '''Hercules:''' Sure. I mean, ignorance is bliss.\ |
| 564 | '''Ares:''' I hate when they do that. ''[throws lightning into the sky and immediately gets hit with a dead bird]'' |
| 565 | * This exchange: |
| 566 | -->'''Hercules:''' War. |
| 567 | -->'''Iolaus:''' What is it good for? |
| 568 | -->'''Hercules:''' Absolutely nothing. |
| 569 | * As Ares goes about how he's going to get violent with whoever is "taking the food out of my soldiers' mouths": |
| 570 | -->'''Iolaus:''' Where did you get all of this hostility? |
| 571 | -->'''Hercules:''' He was born that way. It's sad, really. |
| 572 | * Hercules' completely unconcerned "Oh, boy" as Ares issues his AGodAmI declaration. |
| 573 | * Thus says Ares after he and his henchmen pop in before Michael and two of the HorsemenOfTheApocalypse: |
| 574 | -->'''Ares:''' Boys, it's time to crack open a barrel of whoop-ass! |
| 575 | ** Made better with Michael [[TheStoic stoically]] staring back at the God of War before turning to the two Horsemen and calmly ordering them to destroy Ares and his boys. |
| 576 | ** And the two Horsemen take down Ares' men in about less than a minute. CurbStompBattle does ''not'' begin to describe it. |
| 577 | ** Ares' expression as he looks down at what's left of his men, followed by their weapons pathetically clanging to the ground. Then he puts on a brave face and goes, "So that's how you wanna play it, huh?" |
| 578 | ** Ares hurls an energy blast at War, who deflects it with his shield, resulting in [[HoistByHisOwnPetard Ares getting hit by his own blast]] and sent flying backwards. After he lands on the ground, he looks pitifully at War and goes "''Et tu'', War?" |
| 579 | * "KISS MY AX!" |
| 580 | ** Followed by Michael [[NoSell simply catching said ax]] and Ares being sent flying a great distance away by the Horsemen's combined might. |
| 581 | * After Ares lands near Hercules and Iolaus, he remarks he's getting really angry...then collapses. Hercules gives a mild shrug. |
| 582 | * [[OhCrap Iolaus acting as though he's a student caught doing something wrong by a schoolteacher]] as Michael calls him out for warning Hercules about the coming Reckoning. |
| 583 | * Ares's GrudgingThankYou to Hercules. |
| 584 | [[/folder]] |
| 585 | |
| 586 | [[folder:Season 6]] |
| 587 | [[AC:6x01 - Be Deviled]] |
| 588 | |
| 589 | [[AC:6x02 - Love, Amazon Style]] |
| 590 | * As a ContinuityNod, Iolaus off-handedly asks Hercules if he knows what happened to [[HonestJohnsDealership Salmoneus]]. Herc quickly says "Yeah, he got arrested for tax fraud" and they go on with the episode. |
| 591 | |
| 592 | [[AC:6x03 - Rebel With a Cause]] |
| 593 | |
| 594 | [[AC:6x04 - Darkness Visible]] |
| 595 | |
| 596 | [[AC:6x05 - Hercules, Tramps & Thieves]] |
| 597 | * It turns out Salmoneus got into some other off-screen legal trouble. As Hercules says, "That massage parlor bust was a real drag." |
| 598 | |
| 599 | [[AC:6x06 - City of the Dead]] |
| 600 | * Iolaus spends the episode being a massive Egyptologist, as Hercules puts it. He repeatedly annoys Herc with various facts about Egypt. |
| 601 | |
| 602 | [[AC:6x07 - A Wicked Good Time]] |
| 603 | * The coven tries to get Iolaus out of the way with a spell making him hopelessly in love with Lilith. She's weirded out by his overtures and tries to keep her distance, which she interprets as cheating on him. He goes crazy with jealousy, but it's still played strictly for comedy. |
| 604 | -->'''Iolaus:''' Herc, great, you're back. Break the door down, will ya? I gotta kill Lilith. She's cheating on me. |
| 605 | ** They get rid of him by saying they've been planning a surprise party for him. Hercules suggests Iolaus go get some ice by going to the top of a nearby mountain. It's not until the very end that Hercules remembers this and sets out to find him. We then see Iolaus as the spell breaks: up an icy mountain and no clue how he got there. |
| 606 | |
| 607 | [[AC:6x08 - Full Circle]] |
| 608 | * Hercules and Iolaus find a village under attack by a rather goofy-looking monster conjured by [[RealityWarper Evander]]. The monster breathes '''bubbles''' after it originally spewed flames. |
| 609 | * After Herc and Iolaus wake up to find Evander missing, Ares greets them by calling them "The two stooges." |
| 610 | * Herc and Iolaus' doomsday scenario conversation: |
| 611 | -->'''Iolaus:''' Well, if you're so fed up with the gods, why don't we let them just destroy Olympus? |
| 612 | -->'''Hercules:''' Remember my theory about the seasons? |
| 613 | -->'''Iolaus:''' Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The sun revolves around the Earth. What's that got to do with Olympus? |
| 614 | -->'''Hercules:''' Well, Olympus is supported by a pillar that runs right into the center of the Earth. If Atlas manages to break the pillar, Olympus will come crashing down. |
| 615 | -->'''Iolaus:''' So? |
| 616 | -->'''Hercules:''' So if Olympus falls, it'll hit the ground with the force of a comet. |
| 617 | -->'''Iolaus:''' A what? |
| 618 | -->'''Hercules:''' A comet. I'll explain later. Olympus will knock the Earth right out of its orbit. |
| 619 | -->'''Iolaus:''' Wait. So if the Earth gets knocked too close to the sun-- |
| 620 | -->'''Hercules:''' We'll fry. |
| 621 | -->'''Iolaus:''' And if it goes too far-- |
| 622 | -->'''Hercules:''' We'll freeze. |
| 623 | -->'''Iolaus:''' ''[{{beat}}]'' Why are you wasting time explaining this to me?! Come on! ''[heads off]'' |
| 624 | * Ares affectionately saying "I love you, Mom" after watching Hera express her fury. |
| 625 | * At the end, Ares appears to Hercules and Iolaus to gripe about Zeus and Hera getting back together. |
| 626 | -->'''Ares:''' I hope you're happy! Because of you, Hera and Zeus are gonna get back together again! |
| 627 | -->'''Hercules:''' And this upsets you. Unbelievable. |
| 628 | -->'''Ares:''' Because everything I ever learned about hate and greed and envy and spite, I learned from Hera! ''[looks up at the sky]'' ''[[SuddenlyShouting ARE THERE NO MORE HEROES]]''?! |
| 629 | ** Followed by Herc [[TheGadfly taunting Ares by telling him he still has him and Iolaus, followed by the two of them making absolutely goofy smiles]], prompting the God of War to [[VomitDiscretionShot vomit in disgust]]. |
| 630 | ** Ares then tries to threaten his demigod brother, only for Hercules and Iolaus to cut him off by mimicking him. |
| 631 | --->'''Ares:''' You mark my words-- |
| 632 | --->'''Hercules:''' "You'll pay for this, Hercules." |
| 633 | --->'''Iolaus:''' "We'll meet again, little brother." |
| 634 | --->'''Hercules:''' "You're on my list, Hercules!" |
| 635 | *** The whole thing ends with Ares heading off, sniffling, before he disappears. |
| 636 | *** Then Herc notes "I think we hurt his feelings." |
| 637 | *** Iolaus then reminds Hercules he said he'd retire after this adventure. Hercules shrugs and says "Well, I guess we're retired." The two then awkwardly sit on some rocks for a few seconds before [[TenMinuteRetirement Hercules asks if Iolaus wants to come out of retirement]]. |
| 638 | [[/folder]] |
| 639 | |
| 640 | [[folder:General/Unsorted]] |
| 641 | * Any scene where Salmoneus shows up, or even gets mentioned, can split your sides. |
| 642 | [[/folder]] |
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