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4[[quoteright:350:https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/harrywhack.png]]
5[[caption-width-right:350:"But I ''am '' the Chosen One." *WHACK* "OK, sorry."]]
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7[[foldercontrol]]
8
9[[folder:From the book]]
10* The entire first chapter:
11** The Muggle Prime Minister at the time was UsefulNotes/JohnMajor, the greyest man in British politics. This also means that the predecessor who tried to [[{{DestinationDefenestration}} throw Fudge out the window]] was UsefulNotes/MargaretThatcher. There's a ''reason'' they called her the Iron Lady!
12* When Dumbledore reveals that Bellatrix could inherit Sirius's house:
13-->'''Harry:''' [[BigNo No!]]\
14'''Dumbledore:''' ''(calmly)'' Well, obviously we would prefer that she didn't get it either.
15* Dumbledore playfully scolding Harry for not following the Ministry's idiotic advice leaflets, and making sure he was an imposter, by asking his favorite type of jam ("raspberry, by the way."). Then he adds that if he ''were'' a Death Eater impersonating himself, learning his favorite jam types would've been the first thing he'd do.
16* After Harry gets to the Weasleys' house, Arthur insists on following the silly Ministry protocols when he gets home from work. Molly is clearly exasperated by this, partly because of the specific questions they use. Harry proceeds to start eating as loudly as possible so he can pretend like he didn't hear Molly's EmbarrassingNickname.
17* George mentioned the lowest grade possible for the O.W.L.s was "T" for Troll. [[BrickJoke When the results of the O.W.L.s came they showed George wasn't kidding]].
18* "Ghosts are transparent, but Inferi are dead bodies, aren't they. So they'd be solid-”\
19"[[DeadpanSnarker It's good to know six years of magical education have not been lost on you, Potter]]. ''[[CaptainObvious Ghosts are transparent]].''"
20** Even funnier because, as Ron points out, this is actually a good way to tell the difference at a glance.
21* Harry holding tryouts for the Gryffindor Quidditch team. From at least a dozen of the rejected applicants being Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws to hordes of first-years who can barely fly to Hermione Confunding Cormac [=McLaggen=] during his Keeper tryout so that Ron would get the spot.
22* Gryffindor's second Quidditch match. Cormac [=McLaggen=] takes over as Gryffindor's Keeper and tries to teach the Beaters how to play their position, inadvertently using Harry as his object of demonstration. [[GilliganCut Harry wakes up hours later]] in the Hospital Wing with a cracked skull. Madam Pomfrey mends it at once with a spell, but:
23-->'''Madam Pomfrey:''' I'm keeping you in overnight. You shouldn't over exert yourself for a few hours.\
24'''Harry:''' I don't want to stay here overnight, I want to find [=McLaggen=] and kill him.\
25'''Madam Pomfrey:''' [[DeadpanSnarker I'm afraid that would come under the heading of "over-exertion".]]
26* Also on [=McLaggen=]:
27-->'''Ron:''' Final score was three-hundred-and-twenty to sixty.\
28'''Harry:''' [[SarcasmMode Brilliant! Really brilliant!]] When I get hold of [=McLaggen=]--\
29'''Ron:''' [[LiteralMinded You don't want to get hold of him, he's the size of a troll.]] Personally, I think there's a lot to be said for hexing him with that toenail thing[[note]]a hex that makes toenails grow "alarmingly fast"[[/note]] of the Prince's.
30* "But the more I hint I want to finish it, the tighter she holds on. It's like going out with the giant squid."
31* Hagrid and Slughorn get hammered and start singing a sad song.
32-->'''Slughorn:''' ''And Odo the hero, they bore him back home, to the place that he knew as a lad, they laid him to rest with his hat inside out, and his wand snapped in two, which was sad.''\
33'''Hagrid:''' ''(about how good people die young)'' ...terrible.\
34'''Slughorn:''' Sorry. Can't carry a tune to save my life.
35* Before arriving at Hogwarts, Ron purchases an enchanted quill from Weasley's Wizard Wheezes to help with his spelling, but only a few chapters later, he's complaining about how it's malfunctioning and actually making his spelling ''worse''. Much later, after Harry tries the Sectumsempra curse he found in his used copy of ''Advanced Potion-Making'' on Malfoy, Snape uses Legilimency to read Harry's memories and orders Harry to bring him the book. Not wanting Snape to take the book away, Harry hastily asks to borrow Ron's, and [[BrickJoke clearly didn't check the book before handing it over]].
36-->'''Snape:''' This is the copy of ''Advanced Potion-Making'' that you purchased from Flourish and Blotts?\
37'''Harry:''' Yes.\
38'''Snape:''' Then why does it have the name "Roonil Wazlib" written inside the front cover?\
39'''Harry:''' ''(beat)'' That's my nickname.\
40'''Snape:''' Your nickname.\
41'''Harry:''' Yeah. That's what my friends call me.\
42'''Snape:''' I understand what a nickname is.
43** Snape's line "I understand what a nickname is" becomes even funnier (and maybe a little harsher) when we remember "Snivellus."
44** The whole malfunctioning quill. Considering that it was created by the Weasley Twins, you can know for sure that it wasn't malfunctioning at all, oh no, the quill probably was acting as the Twins intended.
45* The reactions of the Gryffindors to TheBigDamnKiss between Harry and Ginny. [[ShipperOnDeck Hermione]] is delighted that it finally happened, Romilda Vane wants to throw something at them, Dean Thomas squeezes his glass until it shatters in his hand, while Ron gives Harry the OK he's been wanting the entire book.
46** Most of the rest of them are in StunnedSilence or feel it's ActuallyPrettyFunny. Though there are some wolf whistles.
47** Harry spends most of the book dreading [[BigBrotherInstinct Ron's reaction]] [[MySisterIsOffLimits to them dating]], and Ron's reaction is a nod and shrug.
48* Luna, perhaps out of desperation, being chosen to comment on the Quidditch match.
49-->Cadwallader scored again, making things level, but Luna did not seem to have noticed. She appeared singularly uninterested in such mundane things as the score, and kept attempting to draw the crowd's attention to such things as interestingly shaped clouds and the possibility that Zacharias Smith, who had so far failed to maintain possession of the Quaffle for longer than a minute, was suffering from something called 'Loser's Lurgy.'
50** Harry wonders who in their right mind would ever allow Luna to commentate Quidditch. It's ''[=McGonagall=]'' that chooses the Quidditch commentators. Indeed, shortly after this, we're told that [=McGonagall=] is looking as if she's having second thoughts about the appointment. Which makes one really wonder if [=McGonagall=] was feeling okay on the day she chose the commentators--or else if ''no one else'' showed up, and they went with Luna out of desperation.
51* Peeves blocking a hallway and claiming he won't allow anyone to go through unless they set their pants on fire. Harry and Ron just take a different route. Five minutes later, Neville comes in, smoking and looking for a pair of pants to change into.
52** For the benefit of American readers, it should be remembered that "pants" is British for "underwear."
53* Hermione thinks that the handwriting in the book looks like a girl's. Turns out near the end of the book that said "girl" is Severus Snape. Also hilarious that, after having been looking at the ''same person's handwriting'' for six years by this point, they don't notice the similarities (admittedly, handwriting can change over time, but still).
54* This exchange:
55-->'''Harry:''' Yes.\
56'''Snape:''' Yes ''sir''.\
57'''Harry:''' [[RefugeInAudacity There's no need to call me 'sir', professor.]]
58* Ron (who's usually described as being a fair bit taller than her) diving behind Hermione every time he thinks Lavender is passing by: "Hide me!"
59* Harry's method of getting rid of Goyle when Goyle's disguised via Polyjuice Potion as a little girl while standing watch for Malfoy: to walk up behind him/her and go: "Hello. You're very pretty, aren't you?" prompting Goyle, to run away screaming.
60** The fact that Malfoy has Crabbe and Goyle masquerading as girls for almost the entirety of the story is hilarious in and of itself.
61* "Yes, Harry Potter! And if Dobby does it [[note]][[ItMakesSenseInContext (stalking Malfoy)]][[/note]] wrong, [[DrivenToSuicide Dobby will throw himself off the topmost tower]], Harry Potter!"
62** Later, while reporting on said job:
63--->'''Dobby:''' (proudly, swaying where he stands) Dobby has not slept for a week, Harry Potter!\
64'''Hermione:''' ''(gives Harry a scandalized look)''
65* Harry also tells Kreacher to stalk Malfoy, and he gets as ludicrously specific as possible in order to make Kreacher actually do what he wants. Kreacher fails to find any LoopholeAbuse, and clearly isn't happy about it.
66* The sign outside Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes.
67-->''"WHY ARE YOU WORRYING ABOUT YOU-KNOW-WHO?''\
68''YOU SHOULD BE WORRYING ABOUT [[ToiletHumor U-NO-POO]]''\
69''THE CONSTIPATION SENSATION THAT'S GRIPPING THE NATION!"''
70** Especially Molly's initial reaction of complete disbelief.
71---> "[[OhCrap They'll be murdered in their beds!]]"
72* The almighty Peeves can always be counted on for a good laugh.
73-->"Bitey, scratchy, pokey, draw his cork and pulls his earsy\
74Where there's strife and when there's trouble, call on Peevsie he'll make double!"
75* After Harry drinks the Felix Felicis and behaves oddly.
76-->'''Hermione:''' This ''is'' Felix Felicis, I suppose? You don't have another bottle of...\
77'''[[DeadpanSnarker Ron]]:''' Essence of Insanity?
78* Flitwick's punishment to Seamus for drenching him with the Aguamenti Charm:
79-->'''Seamus:''' ''([[WritingLines writing]])'' I am a wizard, not a baboon brandishing a stick.
80** And Flitwick, as shown in previous books, has always been kindly and very patient, particularly in Charms class where he's had the tendency to fall victim to his students' unpolished spellwork. One can only imagine the cavalcade of off-page offenses that had been built up on Seamus's record for Flitwick to finally have lost his patience with him.
81* The first time Harry tried the Levicorpus spell, unaware of its effect, and hung Ron upside down above his own bed. His reaction sums it up pretty well.
82-->'''Ron:''' AAAARRRGHHH!
83** Right after Harry let him go:
84--->'''Ron:''' Tomorrow, I'd rather you use the alarm clock.
85** Neville is so startled he falls out of bed while Dean is laughing his head off.
86** After Harry explains what happened, Ron finds the whole thing ActuallyPrettyFunny.
87* Slughorn's response to Umbridge calling the centaurs "filthy half-breeds":
88-->"That's what she did, did she? Idiotic woman. Never liked her.
89** Harry lets slip a little laugh and responds, "I didn't like her, either".
90* Dumbledore's scenes at the Dursleys':
91-->'''Vernon:''' I don't mean to be rude-\
92'''Dumbledore:''' But sadly, accidental rudeness occurs alarmingly often. Best to say nothing, my good man.
93** Later on, he conjures three glasses of oak-matured mead and leaves them to float in front of the Dursley's heads. After a brief bit of dialogue, it's mentioned that the glasses are still floating there, banging into their heads and spilling their contents everywhere.
94--->'''Vernon:''' WILL YOU GET THESE RUDDY THINGS OFF US?\
95'''Dumbledore:''' Oh, I'm sorry. (Vanishes the glasses) But it would have been polite to drink them, you know.
96** Harry mentally notes that Dumbledore seems to be having way too much fun trolling the Dursleys.
97* Immediately after this comes the visit to Professor Slughorn's house, where Dumbledore leaves Harry alone with Slughorn so as to persuade him to return to Hogwarts—[[INeedToGoIronMyDog by asking to use the loo]]. Even better is the fact he returns afterwards with a magazine he wants to keep "for the knitting patterns". It's a nice bit of obfuscation, but it also highlights his eccentricity and kookiness.
98* Harry's pining after Ginny results in a lot of these:
99-->"It was natural that he would be concerned about her. Natural that he would want to look after her. Natural that [[GreenEyedEpiphany he would want to blast Dean into a million pieces for kissing her]]. No, he would have to control that particular [[BlatantLies brotherly instinct]]."
100-->"Ginny kept popping up in his dreams in ways that made him devoutly thankful that Ron couldn't perform Legilimency."
101** In general, all of Harry's angsting about what Ron's reaction is going to be, when it turns out that Ron really isn't all that bothered!
102* Snape's deliberate tweaking of Bellatrix in the second chapter, where he answers all of her suspicions about his loyalty, while almost constantly insulting her:
103-->'''Snape:''' Of course you weren't a lot of use to him in Azkaban, but the ''gesture'' was undoubtedly fine.\
104'''Bellatrix:''' Gesture?!
105** In addition, when Bellatrix is bitching that Snape effectively sat around doing nothing at Hogwarts while she and her fellow Death Eaters faced untold dangers trying to get the prophecy for Voldemort, Snape snarks that even Dumbledore might have noticed something was amiss if he ran off and started helping the Death Eaters fight the Order at the Ministry and concludes with this:
106--->'''Snape:''' You speak of "dangers". You were facing, I believe, six teenagers.
107* Luna Lovegood meets Professor Trelawney. Luna starts telling her about the "Rotfang Conspiracy" (the non-existent Aurors' plan to bring down the Ministry of Magic by using "a combination of Dark Magic and gum disease"); Trelawney is genuinely fascinated.
108** Luna introduces the idea of the Rotfang Conspiracy in front of Trelawney, Harry, Slughorn, and ''Snape''. All of them stare at her in astonishment while Harry snorts into his glass.
109** The [[DeathGlare enraged glares]] that every girl in the main hall gives to Harry when he goes to Slughorn's party with ''[[CloudCuckoolander Luna Lovegood]]''.
110** Harry asks Luna right after a Transfiguration class where he's still got his eyebrow turned yellow. Luna asks if he's dyed it for the party, and if she should do the same to match.
111* When Harry suggests to Mr. Weasley to raid Malfoy Manor at King's Cross, Mr. Weasley's first reaction is to ask if he's about to find out where Harry, Ron, and Hermione ran off to back in Diagon Alley. When Harry sheepishly asks how he knew, Arthur's only response is an annoyed sigh.
112-->'''Arthur''': Harry, please. You're talking to the man who raised Fred and George.
113* When Fleur at first tells Mrs. Weasley that Bill will still love her after he was attacked by Greyback, and then when she does understand what Mrs. Weasley was implying, raves about how she doesn't care about how Bill looks and that she's "Good looking enough for the both of [them]".
114* A small one during Dumbledore's funeral when Umbridge sees Firenze and immediately legs it to a seat as far away from him as possible.
115** Not to mention all the people trying to avoid taking a seat near Grawp.
116* Kreacher sends Harry a Christmas present while he's away at the Burrow. It's a package full of maggots.
117** Ron starts laughing at this, but quickly shuts up when Harry tells him he'd rather have the maggots than the necklace Ron got from Lavender, a big gold chain with the words "My Sweetheart" dangling from it in garish letters. In the film, it's a big golden heart with an arrow through it.
118* Upon returning from Christmas, the Gryffindors find out that the new dormitory password is ''"abstinence."'' And no, it's not because of the teenage romance shenanigans that have been going on the entire book. Hermione explains that the Fat Lady and her friend Violet drank all the wine in ''a portrait of drunk monks'' over the Winter Break, implying that the password is referring to [[AccidentalInnuendo abstinence from alcohol specifically.]]
119* The conversation where Hermione explains to Harry that, with the public revelation that Harry was right about Voldemort being back and the papers calling him "The Chosen One", he's "basically never been more fanciable". Her dispassionate recital of the facts and Ron's attempts to interject are excellent:
120-->"And you've been through all that persecution from the Ministry when they were trying to make out that you were unstable and a liar. You can still see the marks on the back of your hand where that evil woman made you write with your own blood, but you stuck to your story anyway..."\
121"You can still see where those brains got hold of me in the Ministry, look," said Ron, shaking back his sleeves.\
122"And it doesn't hurt that you've grown about a foot over the summer either," Hermione finished, ignoring Ron.\
123"I'm tall," said Ron, inconsequentially.
124** Particularly funny since Hermione would go out with Ron in an instant if he'd just asked her outright.
125* Sanguini, the vampire who attends the Slug Club party on the invitation of wizard Eldred Worple. When he's not leering at the necks of young ladies (to Worple's annoyance), he's chatting amicably with Luna Lovegood.
126* Madam Pince the ScaryLibrarian sees Harry's much-annotated Potions textbook:
127-->'''Madam Pince:''' The library is now closed. Mind that you return anything you have borrowed to the correct- ''what have you been doing to that book, you depraved boy?''\
128'''Harry:''' It isn't the library's, it's mine!\
129'''Madam Pince:''' [[SeriousBusiness Despoiled! Desecrated! Befouled!]]\
130'''Harry:''' It's only a book that's been written in!\
131She looked as though she might have a seizure.
132* After Madam Pince throws them out of the library, Harry jokes that it's because she overheard Hermione talking about Filch — and that he's always felt they may have had something going on between them. Hermione scoffs at the idea, but has apparently been joking about it with Harry by the time they get back to the common room.
133* Luna casually and nonchalantly tells Harry about her impossible theory that Rufus Scrimgeour the Minister for Magic is a vampire. Even before considering to object it, Harry decides to let it be simply because she's Luna.
134* Harry trying to keep busy during Ron and Hermione's talk in Herbology.
135-->Harry suddenly wished the pod had flown a little further, so that he need not have been sitting here with the pair of them. Unnoticed by either, he seized the bowl that contained the pod and began to try and open it by the noisiest and most energetic means he could think of; unfortunately, he could still hear every word of their conversation.\
136"You were going to ask me?" asked Ron, in a completely different voice.\
137"Yes," said Hermione angrily. "But obviously if you'd rather I ''got off with [=McLaggen=]...''"\
138There was a pause while Harry continued to pound the resilient pod with a trowel.\
139"No I wouldn't," said Ron, in a very quiet voice.\
140Harry missed the pod, hit the bowl, and shattered it.
141* Harry's description of Grawp: a vocabulary of five words, two of which he can't pronounce correctly.
142* Harry doesn't say it out loud, but his first reaction when Dumbledore tells him he literally possesses ThePowerOfLove is [[WhatKindOfLamePowerIsHeartAnyway disappointment]].
143-->“But I haven’t got uncommon skill and power,” said Harry, before he could stop himself.
144-->“Yes, you have,” said Dumbledore firmly. “You have a power that Voldemort has never had. You can...”
145-->“I know!” said Harry impatiently. “I can love!” It was only with difficulty that he stopped himself adding, “Big deal!”
146-->“Yes, Harry, you can love...” said Dumbledore, who looked as though he knew perfectly well what Harry had just refrained from saying.
147* Hagrid tells Slughorn that Aragog would have liked that he attended his funeral.
148-->''Harry thought privately that what Aragog would have liked most about Slughorn was the ample amount of edible flesh he provided.''
149* Harry spends quite a while under the Invisibility Cloak trying to get into the Room of Requirement to find out what Malfoy is doing. After many failed attempts, he swears loudly and profusely, then jumps as he hears someone scream and turns just in time to see a gaggle of first-years fleeing in the opposite direction, under the impression they have just encountered a particularly foul-mouthed ghost.
150* Hermione's perfectly-planned and executed OperationJealousy: She drops by Harry, Parvati, and Ron snogging Lavender, casually mentions her date is [=McLaggen=] (Ron comes up for air with a noise like an unclogging sink), Parvati and Lavender are agog, noting that Hermione HasAType for Quidditch players, Hermione clarifies that she likes ''really good'' Quidditch players and makes a triumphant exit, leaving Parvati and Lavender to discuss everything they thought they knew about Hermione, Ron to stare into empty space, and Harry to reflect on what girls won't do for revenge.
151** Hermonie admits that she considered asking out Zacharias Smith instead of Cormac to really piss off Ron, but she had to draw the line somewhere. Harry has a BrainBleach reaction to the thought of Hermoine on a date with Smith.
152* Harry is finally sick of being a PhraseCatcher.
153--> Slughorn's watery eyes slid over Harry's scar, this time taking in the rest of his face.\
154"You look very like your father."\
155"Yeah, I've been told," said Harry.\
156"Except for your eyes. You've got -"\
157"My mother's eyes, yeah." Harry had heard it so often [[NeverHeardThatOneBefore he found it a bit wearing]].
158* An invisible Harry blocks the door into Slytherin’s train carriage so he can sneak in, causing Blaise to slam the door hard onto Harry’s foot while he attempts to stay silent.
159** Haughty Blaise Zabini promptly toppling over and landing right on Gregory Goyle’s lap.
160* The mostly grim scene of Marvolo Gaunt making a racist ass of himself to Ministry of Magic member Bob Ogden has one HilariousInHindsight moment after the next book reveals that the supposed Peverell coat-of-arms Marvolo was bragging about is actually the symbol of the mythological Deathly Hallows, something that Ogden (an implied pureblood) likely knew. From Ogden's perspective, Marvolo was claiming that a children's story symbol was proof that he was descended from the oldest families in Britain, which likely made Marvolo seem like an even bigger madman/idiot than he actually was.
161* After both Ron and Katie Bell end up in the hospital wing, Hagrid speculates if someone with a grudge against the Gryffindor Quidditch team is responsible. Fred dismisses the idea of someone trying to murder a school Quidditch team, only for George to point out Oliver Wood probably would have done that to the Slytherin team if he could have gotten away with it.
162* With Christmas approaching, Harry's newfound popularity results in traffic jams in the school corridors. Specifically [[UnderTheMistletoe around the mistletoe decorations]]. Harry just decides to use the hidden passageways bereft of such things, much to Ron's delight.
163* When Harry and Dumbledore go into Slughorn's memory of Tom Riddle asking him about Horcruxes, Harry, who has plenty of experience of getting information from those reluctant to spill the beans, is actually ''impressed'' by Riddle's skill, noting that he's watching "a master at work."
164* When Buckbeak is transferred back into Hagrid's care, the Order renames him "Witherwings" so the Ministry won't suspect it's the same hippogriff that escaped death. ''This actually works''.
165* The Christmas tree angel:
166-->Fred, George, Harry and Ron were the only ones who knew that the angel on top of the tree was actually a garden gnome that had bitten Fred on the ankle as he pulled up carrots for Christmas dinner. Stupefied, painted gold, stuffed into a miniature tutu and with small wings glued to its back, it glowered down at them all, the ugliest angel Harry had ever seen.
167* Ron is accidentally poisoned and ends up in the hospital wing. Harry and Hermione and most of the Weasleys of course come to visit him, but Hagrid (who's been spending time with a slowly-dying Aragog) doesn't hear about what happened until very late in the day and runs up to the ward to see if Ron's okay, leading to:
168-->'''Madam Pomfrey:''' No more than six visitors at a time!\
169'''George:''' Hagrid makes six.\
170'''Madam Pomfrey:''' ''(clearly having mistaken Hagrid for an entire group of people)'' Oh...yes..
171** A few chapters later, Harry and Hagrid have a drink with Slughorn, who was partly responsible for Ron's poisoning before and he assures that he tested all of his wine tested to make sure it wasn't poisoned...by having a house elf take a sip from every bottle he had. Harry imagines what Hermione's expression would be if she'd heard that and decides to never, ever tell her about it.
172* Just before Harry takes the Felix Felicis:
173-->'''Harry:''' I'll just take a mouthful. Two or three hours should do it.\
174'''Ron:''' It's a great feeling when you take it. Like you can't do anything wrong.\
175'''Hermione:''' ''(laughing)'' What are you talking about? You've never taken any!\
176'''Ron:''' Yeah, but I ''[[PlaceboEffect thought]]'' I had, didn't I? Same difference really...
177* After Harry and Ginny start dating:
178-->'''Ginny:''' You'd think people had better things to gossip about. Three dementor attacks in a week, and all Romilda Vane does is ask me if it's true you've got a hippogriff tattooed across your chest.\
179''(Ron and Hermione both bust out laughing)''\
180'''Harry:''' What did you tell her?\
181'''Ginny:''' I told her it's a Hungarian Horntail. Much more macho.\
182'''Harry:''' Thanks. And what did you tell her Ron's got?\
183'''Ginny:''' A Pygmy Puff, but I didn't say where.\
184''(Ron scowls at her; Hermione laughs even harder)''
185[[/folder]]
186
187[[folder:From the film]]
188* Harry’s response to a Muggle waitress when she sees him reading a wizarding newspaper and asks who Harry Potter is: he actually calls himself a “tosser”!
189* Upon arrival in Budleigh Babberton, Dumbledore expects that Harry is probably wondering why he brought him there. Harry admits "Actually, sir, after all these years, I just sort of go with it."
190* After Slughorn finally agrees to Dumbledore's offer, Dumbledore starts humming happily.
191* This exchange:
192-->'''Hermione:''' They're saying that Dumbledore's got a bit old. \
193'''Harry:''' ''(Adamantly)'' Rubbish! He's only... ''({{Beat}})'' How old is he, again?
194* Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes shop features an animated doll of Umbridge skating across a tightrope, squealing "[[TyrantTakesTheHelm I will have order! I will have order!]]"
195** Bonus funny points: The only two people present the only time Umbridge said that were Harry and Hermione. Imagine ''Hermione'' of all people doing an Umbridge impression while recounting to the twins about how she got Umbridge off their back.
196* Hermione is considering buying a love potion until she sees [=McLaggen=] give her a flirtatious grin. She immediately [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere puts it down and walks away.]]
197* Price negotiations with Fred and George.
198-->'''Ron:''' How much are these?\
199'''Fred and George:''' Five galleons.\
200'''Ron:''' How much for me?\
201'''Fred and George:''' ''Five galleons.''\
202'''Ron:''' I'm your ''brother.''\
203''(beat)''\
204'''Fred and George:''' ''Ten'' galleons.
205** Also, Fred and George each have different expressions when they say that last line, both funny.
206* After Luna fixes Harry's broken nose:
207-->'''Harry:''' How do I look?\
208'''Luna:''' Exceptionally ordinary.
209* When Harry and Luna enter Hogwarts late, Flitwick demands their names.
210-->'''Harry:''' ...Professor Flitwick, you've known me for five years.\
211'''Flitwick:''' No exceptions, Potter.
212* Harry coming back to the feast after being sneak attacked by Malfoy.
213-->'''Ginny:''' [[LampshadeHanging He's covered in blood again. Why is it he's always covered in blood?]]\
214'''Ron:''' At least it looks like it's his this time.
215** The first line is said by Ginny, which (given her previous experiences) makes it borderline BlackComedy.
216* At one point when Professor [=McGonagall=] is giving directions, she at one point has to correct a ''very'' lost student:
217--> Mr. Davies, MISTER DAVIES! ''That'' is the ''girl's lavatory.''
218* Another pretty funny [=McGonagall=] moment comes after she catches Harry and Ron goofing off in the hallway and directs Harry to Potions class:
219-->'''[=McGonagall=]:''' Take Weasley with you, he looks far too happy over there.
220* Slughorn's potions class has a few:
221** The female students first seeing the love potion and how they just, sort of, ''float'' toward it.
222** Slughorn's pure giddiness at Harry's Draught of Living Death, happily exclaiming that a single drop would easily be enough to ''[[BlackComedy kill the entire class]]''.
223** Harry and Ron fighting to see who will get the newer-looking Potions book in the cupboard, topped with Harry smacking Ron's book childishly with his own.
224** Hermione's increasingly MessyHair as Harry finishes his potion much earlier than her.
225** Continuing the films' RunningGag of Seamus BlowingStuffUp: during the Potions class, he looks down into his cauldron when it spontaneously explodes in his face, leaving him with an AshFace.
226** Crabbe realising his [[EpicFail potion]] has melted the end off his stirrer.
227** When Slughorn presents Harry with the Felix Felicis, the rest of the class are noticeably put out and reluctant to [[SarcasticClapping applaud him]], complete with disgusted looks on their faces.
228** Harry is so excited to win the elixir, he immediately reaches for it; Slughorn gently bats Harry's hand away to finish his speech.
229* The Quidditch tryouts. Specifically, the comparison between Ron and [=McLaggen=] handling their...[[DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything broomsticks]].
230* Ginny acting as Harry's 2nd in command. When he fails to get everybody to listen to him, she steps in:
231--> '''Ginny:''' [[BigShutUp SHUT IT!!!]]
232-->'''Harry''': Thanks.
233* Harry's reason for wanting to go to the Three Broomsticks was because he saw Professor Slughorn heading that way. During this scene, Slughorn stumbles upon Professor Flitwick and invites him for a drink. Flitwick, in a moment of humorously uncharacteristic rudeness, makes up an [[INeedToGoIronMyDog an obviously fake "emergency choir practice" excuse]] and immediately hurries off.
234** In the following scene, Hermione is swaying between Harry and Ron as if she'd partaken of slightly more Butterbeer than was good for her. This is a light moment before the MoodWhiplash of Katie Bell being cursed by the necklace.
235* Ron spotting his sister making out with Dean Thomas:
236-->'''Ron:''' I'd like to go home now.
237** In a similar vein, Hermione spotting Ron making out with Lavender:
238---> '''Hermione:''' Excuse me, I need to go and vomit.
239* [=McGonagall's=] {{memetic|Mutation}} exasperation upon discovering Harry, Ron, and Hermione are caught up in the latest crisis yet ''[[WeirdnessMagnet again]]''.
240-->'''[=McGonagall=]:''' Why is it, when something happens, it is always ''you'' three?\
241'''Ron:''' Believe me, Professor. [[LampshadeHanging I've been asking myself the same question for six years.]]
242* Snape being a magnificent, scene-stealing {{jerkass}}, as usual, after Harry accuses Malfoy of being a Death Eater:
243-->'''[=McGonagall=]:''' That is a very serious accusation, Potter.\
244'''Snape:''' Indeed. Your evidence?\
245'''Harry:''' I just know.\
246'''Snape:''' You just... ''know.'' Once again, [[StealthInsult you astonish me with your gifts, Potter]]. Gifts mere mortals could only dream of possessing. [[CantArgueWithElves How grand it must be, to be the Chosen One]].
247* Harry [[SomethingElseAlsoRises standing up]] when Ginny enters Slughorn's party in her LittleBlackDress.
248-->'''Harry:''' ''(notices Hermione looking at him)'' What?\
249'''Hermione:''' ''(smirking)'' Nothing.
250* [=McLaggen=] flirting with Hermione. ''By licking his fingers.''
251* Luna's adorable [[http://vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net/harrypotter/images/8/8f/Luna_Lovegood_on_her_homemade_Lionhead_hat.jpg Gryffindor hat]].
252* Hermione warning Harry about [[StalkerWithACrush Romilda Vane]]:
253-->'''Hermione:''' I think she's trying to smuggle you a Love Potion.\
254'''Harry:''' Really? ''(smiles at Romilda)''\
255'''Hermione:''' (snaps her fingers in his face) Hey! She's only interested in you because she thinks you're TheChosenOne!\
256'''Harry''': (''somewhat smugly'') [[CaptainObvious But I]] ''am'' TheChosenOne.\
257''(Hermione [[DopeSlap slaps Harry on the head]])''\
258'''Harry:''' Sorry, um, kidding. Don't worry, I'll take someone I like. Someone cool.\
259''(hard cut to Luna)''
260* In the Slug Party:
261-->"What's this I'm eating again?"\
262"Dragon Balls.''
263** [[IAteWhat Also what happens next:]]
264--->'''Snape:''' ''(sweeps in to find Harry and Cormac)''\
265''(Cormac [[VomitDiscretionShot vomits on Snape's shoes,]] then [[OhCrap wordlessly stands up straight]])''\
266'''Snape:''' You just bought yourself a month's detention, [=McLaggen=].
267** Harry then tries to make a quick getaway but Snape cuts in without missing a beat:
268--->'''Snape:''' [[DramaticPause Not... so quick]], Potter. ''(sweeps back out of the corner)''\
269'''Harry:''' Oh, sir, I really think I should get back to the party. My date...\
270'''Snape:''' ...could surely survive your absence another minute or two.
271** Harry asks Snape how long Dumbledore will be away for. Snape gives brief pause before wordlessly wandering off.
272** Hermione trying to duck her date, who she only brought because she thought it would annoy Ron. Her {{Adorkable}} actions are priceless. Meanwhile, Harry just thinks Ron and Hermione are idiots for dating other people to make the other jealous. You can just ''hear'' him become sarcastically done with the whole thing.
273** When Hermione is offered a tray of hors d'oeuvres, she initially refuses until the server tells her that they give one horrible breath. [[OnSecondThought She takes a moment to consider before stuffing her face with them to try and ward off McLaggen.]]
274* Ron [[MySisterIsOffLimits characteristically]] [[MomentKiller ruining a moment]] between Harry and Ginny at the Burrow on Christmas Eve. As Ginny feeds Harry a dainty mince pie from her plate, Ron sits heavily between them, and appears clueless to both their exasperated faces.
275** He then offers them a plate of rather larger mince pies, which appear to have been made with somewhat less care than Ginny's. A nice bit of visual symbolism.
276** Also before that. Mr. Weasley rather awkwardly and deliberately leaves the room as soon as Ginny arrives, seemingly invoking the LeaveTheTwoLovebirdsAlone trope.
277* Ron under the [[GRatedDrug love potion]], staring at the moon:
278-->'''Ron:''' It's beautiful, isn't it? The moon.\
279'''Harry:''' Divine. Had ourselves a little late night snack, did we?\
280'''Ron:''' It was on your bed, the box, I just thought I'd try one.\
281'''Harry:''' Or twenty.\
282'''Ron:''' I can't stop thinking about her, Harry.\
283'''Harry:''' Honestly, you know, I reckon she was starting to annoy you.\
284'''Ron:''' She could never annoy me. I think I love her.\
285'''Harry:''' Oh. Brilliant.\
286'''Ron:''' Do you think she knows I exist?\
287'''Harry:''' Well, I'd bloody well hope so, she's been snogging you for three months.\
288'''Ron:''' Snogging? Who are you talking about?\
289'''Harry:''' Who are ''you'' talking about?\
290'''Ron:''' Romilda, of course. Romilda Vane.\
291'''Harry:''' Okay, very funny.\
292'''Ron:''' ''(throws the chocolates box at Harry)''\
293'''Harry:''' What was that for?\
294'''Ron:''' It's no joke! I'm in love with her!\
295'''Harry:''' Alright, fine, you're in love with her! Have you ever actually met her?\
296'''Ron:''' No... [[ComicallyMissingThePoint Can you introduce me?]]
297** When Ron is under the Love Potion, Harry immediately brings him to Slughorn to get him fixed up. Slughorn is surprised that Harry (who's done quite well in his Potions classes) would need the help. Harry said it was an emergency. Slughorn takes one look at Ron's dopey face and quickly agrees.
298** Harry tells Ron he will take him to see Romilda Vane, but instead takes him to Professor Slughorn. Ron hugs him thinking he is actually Romilda because he has no idea who she actually is.
299** The face Ron makes as the Love Potion wears off goes from vague delight to dull horror.
300* The scene where Ron is in the hospital wing after being poisoned, and his annoying girlfriend Lavender comes in worried and asking "Where's my Won-Won?" She and Hermione get into a fight over him, where Hermione calls her a "daft dimbo"! What makes this even funnier is that it's happening in front of the teachers — Dumbledore, [=McGonagall=], Slughorn… and '''Snape'''. Then Ron calls out Hermione's name in his sleep, and Lavender runs off crying; Dumbledore quips "Oh to be young and to feel love's keen sting!"
301-->'''Lavender''': Where is he? Where's my [[EpicFail Won-Won]]? Has he been asking for me? ...What's [[TheSmartGuy SHE]] doing here?!
302-->'''Hermione''': I was asking the same question!
303-->'''Lavender''': I ''happen'' to be his ''girlfriend''!
304-->'''Hermione''': I happen to be his... [[JustFriends friend]].[[note]] And future wife.[[/note]]
305-->'''Lavender''': Don't give me that! [[SilentTreatment You haven't spoken in weeks!]] It's nice to make up with him now that he's suddenly all ''interesting''!
306-->'''Hermione''': He's been ''[[TamperingWithFoodAndDrink poisoned]]'', you daft dimbo! And for the record, I've always found him interesting!
307-->'''Ron''': *groans*
308-->'''Lavender''': Ha! See? He senses my presence! Don't worry, [[EpicFail Won-Won]]! I'm here... I'm here!
309-->'''Ron''': ...Hermusseh... Er-my-nee... Her...mione... Hermione... Hermione...
310-->'''Lavender''': *runs off crying*
311** Dumbledore delivers that last line in the most airy, cheerful manner possible, like he didn't just witness an angsty teenage romance drama, ''or'' like he's seen similar scenes so many times during his years at Hogwarts that he's no longer fazed by them, ''or'' he's actually a secret Romione shipper! Knowing Dumbledore, any of those are possible.
312** Also the way that Snape just stares straight ahead during that scene. And the fact that he's there at all watching it. In fact, Snape looked like if he's seriously considering drinking the poisoned wine to stop watching the whole thing.
313*** FridgeBrilliance when you consider the reveal in ''Deathly Hallows'' that Snape [[spoiler:knew what it was like to have your romance go horribly wrong during your school years]].
314* When Dumbledore mentions Harry's quick thinking using the Bezoar to counteract the poison, Snape shoots Harry a highly surprised look.
315* After Harry and Ginny's first kiss in the Room of Requirement, Ron's line in the very next scene;
316-->'''Ron:''' So, did you and Ginny [[InnocentInnuendo do it?]]\
317'''Harry:''' ''(startled)'' What?!\
318'''Ron:''' Y'know. Hide the book?\
319'''Harry:''' Oh. yeah.
320* Harry under the influence of Felix Felicis:
321-->'''Prof. Slughorn:''' Harry!\
322'''Harry:''' ''(same annoyed tone)'' Sir!
323** Harry during the whole Felix Felicis scene is funny. His uncharacteristically peppy attitude, [[LargeHam steals the entire scene]] (especially when he enacts how a giant spider's pincers work).
324** Harry gives a quick nod to [[Film/HarryPotterAndTheChamberOfSecrets Chamber of Secrets]] when Slughorn asks if Aragog had any family. Harry responds with a casual "Oh, yeah.", obviously remembering him and Ron almost being eaten by Aragog's children. Made hilarious because Harry's attitude while under influence of Felix Felicis is more like an "Oh, yeah. THAT happened. Good times!
325** Daniel Radcliffe's reading of the line "Personally these plants always kind of freak me out. Hmm."
326** Right after taking the Potion, Harry's alarmingly happy "Hi!" to a random bloke.
327* A rather subtle one, but Slughorn's face sports a quick "OhCrap" look when he accidentally rips off Aragog's pincer while trying to extract some of his venom. Right in front of a sobbing Hagrid, by the way.
328* When Harry and Dumbledore are about to leave for the cave:
329-->'''Harry:''' But sir, I thought you couldn't Apparate in Hogwarts.\
330'''Dumbledore:''' Well, [[ScrewTheRulesIMakeThem being me definitely has its advantages.]]
331[[/folder]]

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