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5[[quoteright:334:https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/attemptingtodancetheflamenco_9.png]]
6[[caption-width-right:334:"Are you attempting to dance 'The Flamenco', Principal Wartz?"]]
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11'''Note: ''' The episodes are organized based on information from the [[http://heyarnold.wikia.com/wiki/Hey_Arnold_Wiki Hey Arnold! Wiki]].
12
13A '''BOLD''' CAPITALIZED '''(FIN)''' means the episode ended after the particular moment.
14
15[[foldercontrol]]
16
17[[folder:Season 1]]
18!!Pilot- Hey Arnold
19* Arnold [[https://youtu.be/lvJj-kpmsdM gets out of being clobbered by Harold]] [[ObfuscatingInsanity by claiming that he is crazy]], which he proves by dancing and lip-syncing to a rock song playing on a boom box he carries with him.
20-->'''Harold''': Wow... you really ''are'' crazy. [[FreakyIsCool Wanna join our club]]?
21
22!!1A – Downtown as Fruits
23* [[ARareSentence We're stuck downtown, I'm a strawberry, and we don't have any money!]]
24* "I'm not sure. I heard it in a hippie movie."
25** "You and your hippie movies..."
26* [[BrickJoke "Wow. People downtown sure are friendly."]]
27* Monkeyman runs past the Sunset Arms boarding house yelling "I'm Monkeyman!" (Since he doesn't have his ADayInTheLimelight moment until episode 75A, YMMV for this being a BigLippedAlligatorMoment.)
28* When Helga notices that Arnold and Gerald didn't show up for the play, she {{Skyward Scream}}s [[SayMyName his name]] at the top of her lungs.
29--> '''Helga''': ARNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLD!!!!!!!!!!
30--> '''Arnold''': ([[DistantReactionShot on a bus on the other side of town]]): Did you hear something just now?
31--> '''Gerald''': Nope.
32* When Arnold and Gerald seek refuge in Zamboni Jones' Psychic Palace.
33--> '''Zamboni''': Who enters the realm of the Great Zamboni?
34--> '''Arnold''': Uh, I'm Arnold. This is Gerald.
35--> '''Zamboni''': Wait, wait! You're... you're Arnold... and Gerald!
36--> '''Gerald''': [[DeadpanSnarker Good guess]].
37--> '''Zamboni''': [[BlatantLies Ah! Zamboni Jones does not guess, he knows]]!
38* Gerald imagining Helga bashing her head with a stagelight pole, sobbing, "My play! My beautiful play!"
39
40!!1B – Eugene's Bike
41* Arnold's attempt to fix Eugene's bike [[DidntThinkThisThrough doesn't go as planned]].
42--> '''Eugene''': Whee! Look at me! I'm a bird! I'm a plane! I'm... ''(sees a car's opened door in his path, and discovers that he's unable to steer or slow down)'' [[ThisIsGonnaSuck about to be hurt very badly]].
43* Arnold and Eugene enjoy a day out, and all of the bad things happening to Eugene (he fails to catch a home-run ball at a baseball game, chokes on a hot dog and subsequently gets hit in the eye with the piece that flew out of his mouth, and he falls into the river while looking out over the docks).
44
45!!2A – The Little Pink Book
46* The ending with Stinky stuck in a garbage can.
47--> '''Stinky''': This really bites! Help me help me! ah! [rolls away]
48
49!!2B – Field Trip
50* Arnold and his grandma break into the aquarium to free an old aged mistreated turtle. They pass by a security guard who is too preoccupied with tormenting the animals to even notice them. Though what he does is actually pretty funny.
51-->'''Guard:''' ''(laughing)'' Here, have a cookie. ''(penguin coughs up cookies and squawks angrily)'' Uh oh, you tossed your cookies. Here have a cookie. ''(penguin coughs up cookie and squawks angrily)'' Uh oh, you tossed your cookies again.
52* Arnold warns his grandma not to get her hands too close to Lockjaw's mouth. A moment later, Grandma screams, and we see her empty sleeve. Arnold reacts accordingly, until Grandma pulls up the sleeve, reveals her hand, and says, "These darn sleeves are too long."
53** Later on, when Arnold and his grandma are escaping with said turtle, they pass by the guard who is now taunting a shark.
54--->'''Guard:''' ''(dipping his hand in and out of the shark tank)'' Let's go big shark. Come on, Jaws. Bite me. ''([[LaserGuidedKarma he falls into the tank and is cornered by shark]])'' WHAAA! ''([[GoryDiscretionShot cut away to the next scene just]] [[BlackComedy as the shark's about to bite him]])''
55
56!!3A – Arnold's Hat
57* The image of [[http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lw2rn4uV5T1qfmyx9o1_500.png Helga posing as a gargoyle]] in order to steal Arnold's hat.
58* Helga whines to herself that Arnold's hat is all she ever wanted, during which she briefly states that she also wishes for world domination.
59
60!!3B – Stoop Kid
61* Stoop Kid's deranged, exaggerated cry after everyone makes fun of him. The guy sounds like he's being tortured.
62* After Stoop Kid leaves his stoop, he thanks Arnold for helping him because [[ComicallyMissingThePoint now he can harass people from off his stoop as well]]. Arnold's reaction is a mix of awkward and annoyed.
63* The ending is both this and a [[SugarWiki/MomentOfAwesome Crowning Moment of Awesome]] for him:
64-->'''Harold:''' ''[[BullyingADragon Little Baby Stoop Kid's Afraid to leave his stooooop!]]'' Haha! (Harold litters Stoop Kid's stoop with a finished popsicle stick)
65-->'''Stoop Kid:''' (As Harold turns around the corner) COME HERE, FAT BOY! ''(jumps off stoop, Harold's [[OhCrap jaw drops]])'' [[PreAssKickingOneLiner I'M GONNA ROLL YOU DOWNTOWN!]] ''(starts running towards Harold)''
66-->'''Harold:''' ''(starts running away)'' Ahhhh! Help! Mommy! ''(Stoop Kid laughs maniacally as he's chasing down Harold)'' Don't hurt me, mommy! Oh no! Ahhh! '''(FIN)'''
67
68!!4A – Helga's Makeover
69* Helga gives herself a makeover, in order to look more girly for Rhonda's party. When her mother Miriam opens the bathroom door and sees the finished product she gasps and faints, causing Helga to say "Maybe I should've gone a bit lighter on the eye shadow."
70* Helga finally loses it when she sees the girls with beauty masks. "We don't HAVE wrinkles. We don't have "signs of aging." We're NINE YEARS OLD!"
71
72!!4B – The Old Building
73* Grandma and Ernie are arguing over whether the Circle Theater should be saved or demolished. Ernie has to climb on a chair in order to look Grandma in the eye.
74
75!!5A – 6th Grade Girls
76* "Hey, Maria! Come over here!"
77** "No no no YOU come over here!"
78*** '''"COME OVER HERE!"'''
79
80!!5B – The Baseball
81* Arnold can't afford to go to favorite player Mickey Kaline's last game, so Grandpa suggests he use the money he earned in a dog-washing business. Arnold keeps these funds on a shelf above his bed in a jar labeled '''THIS IS NOT MONEY.'''
82* Grandpa chasing down Arnold after he accidentally slips him a $50 bill.
83* A sports reporter interviews Mickey after the game, and Mickey tears up about how much he will miss baseball. This causes the reporter to start crying hysterically.
84
85!!6A – Heat
86* Arnold walks into the kitchen where his grandma is sitting at the table.
87-->'''Grandma Gertie:''' I can't stand it, Arnold! It's hotter than blazes! I'm a grandma with a husband, a young grandson, and a boarding house full of people to be responsible for.
88-->'''Arnold:''' ''(to himself)'' This heat's so crazy it's got Grandma acting ''[[OOCIsSeriousBusiness normal]]''.
89* The ''entire'' scene with Willie the Jolly Olly Man.
90-->'''Helga:''' ''(climbs atop ice cream truck)'' We've had enough! We want our ice cream, and we want it at a price we kids can afford!\
91'''Harold:''' You said it, sister!\
92'''Iggy:''' That's right!\
93'''Helga:''' And if we don't get it, we're going to do something really ''bad''!\
94''(Crowd yells in agreement)''\
95'''Jolly Olly Man:''' Okay, okay! ''(thinks)'' You can have rum raisin for 10 [dollars].\
96'''Helga:''' LET'S TURN OVER THE TRUCK!!!
97** And then the kids try to do so with ''Helga still on the truck!''
98* Eugene, trying to help ([[ButtMonkey in his typical clueless way]]) by attempting to lift up the ''entire back end'' of the ice cream truck. He predictably hurts himself, and spends the rest of the scene marching back and forth and clutching his back while the other kids rock and shake the truck.
99* In typical fashion, Arnold makes a RousingSpeech to attempt to dissuade the other kids from turning over the truck. He basically ends with, "What do you say we all just get along?" Helga's response? '''"LIFT THE TRUCK!'''"
100* When it finally begins raining, the Jolly Olly Man runs to his truck declaring, "I am outta here!" He then peels out of the parking lot.
101
102!!6B – Snow
103* [[http://youtu.be/FOlJixJAhPM Harvey hates the snow.]]
104** Worth noting that after he slides down a snow tunnel, he loses some mail and doesn't even bother to go back and get it, as he continues his rap.
105* A Hillwood city bus is pelted by snowballs thrown by Harold and his friends.
106-->'''Bus Driver:''' Ah! I can't see! ''(turns to look at passengers)'' WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!
107-->''(cut to passenger seats, showing only Grandma and boarding house pets, who honestly don’t care about the situation. The bus crashes, and Grandma escapes the wreckage on a sled pulled by the pets, as Arnold and Grandpa watch on.)''
108-->'''Grandma:''' We have to rescue the missionaries! Mush!
109* The boarding house residents moan about the furnace breaking.
110-->'''Grandpa Phil:''' You call this cold? You should have been here in the winter of '49!
111-->'''Mr. Hyunh:''' I don't care, I was in Vietnam in 1949...plus I was not born yet!
112
113!!7A – Operation Ruthless
114* The whole ''Tunnel of Love'' scene and the pairings that resulted afterward.
115** Rhonda eagerly forcing Harold to ride the swan with her, much to his displeasure.
116** Sid attempts to flirt with Ruth, who sports an irritated look on her face. Unlike Arnold, who she occasionally smiles at, she clearly finds Sid to be quite annoying.
117* Arnold's opening line "Hi Ruth."
118
119!!7B – The Vacant Lot
120* There's [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P-FwRB6sQ9g this]] scene where Eugene gets attacked by Harvey’s chickens. Look at Arnold in that scene, he couldn't care less!
121* After the adults decide to re-make the baseball field for the kids, Arnold's Grandma Gertie shouts [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7PgdOTZSqbk "Play ball!".]] Next, Arnold's Grandpa Phil does the same thing, followed by all the kids in unison and then Mr. Green. Mr. Hyunh, however, chooses to shout the phrase more than once while running around Gerald Field.
122-->'''Mr. Hyunh:''' Play ba-all! Play ball! Play ba-all! Play ball! Play ba-all! Play ball! Play ba-all!--Play ba-all! Play ball! Play ba-all!
123-->'''Grandpa Phil:''' [[PunctuatedForEmphasis WILL YOU BE]] '''''[[BigSHUTUP QUIET?!]]''''' '''(FIN)'''
124
125!!8A – The List
126* YMMV, but [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D1I-UARXyoQ the boy steals Arnold's baseball for no reason.]]
127* The theme song we briefly hear when Arnold tries to watch cartoons before the TV explodes.
128--> Mutant robots from outer space! Spreading bacteria to eat your face!
129
130!!8B – Haunted Train
131* After Brainy scares the kids, they ask him why he's on the train with them. He admits he doesn't know. A beat later, Helga grabs Brainy, Gerald opens a train door, and Helga ''throws'' Brainy out of the door and into a muddy swamp.
132** Becomes a BrickJoke at the end, where the ''actual'' haunted train drives right passed Brainy while he's cheerfully sitting on a fence.
133* Gerald ComicallyMissingThePoint and assuming the Mad Engineer drove the train straight to the South Pole after Phil strongly implied that he drove the train to Hell.
134* When the kids question the "horrible" hellish sound that they heard, the engineer irritably reveals that he was playing polka music on his accordion.
135
136!!9A – Mugged
137* Arnold's bus pass says next to Born "Yes". Well, we ''know'' he's been born. Nine years ago.
138
139!!9B – Roughin' It
140* Grandpa showing Arnold and Gerald how to find edible berries.
141-->'''Grandpa''': Now, only do this under adult supervision. "Red and sweet are good to eat, but I swear by this sonnet, green will make you vomit."\
142'''Arnold''': (''swallows'') I thought it was "''Green'' and sweet are good to eat."\
143'''Grandpa''': No, I've been saying it all morning. "Red and sweet." "Red and sweet."\
144'''Arnold''': Excuse me a minute. (''[[VomitDiscretionShot runs off screen and retches]]'')\
145'''Grandpa''': You're ''vomiting'', aren't you, Arnold?
146* Helga tells Bob about how they should spend the day together.
147-->'''Helga''': Why don't we all go for a nice hike in the woods?\
148'''Bob''': Huh? I thought you hated hiking.\
149'''Helga''': Whatever gave you that idea?\
150'''Phoebe''': Perhaps it was on the way here when you kept saying, ''(imitates Helga)'' "I hate hiking! I hate hiking! I hate—" ''([[BeQuietNudge Helga kicks her foot]])'' Ow!
151* Bob's electronic navigator breaks.
152-->'''Bob''': Cheap piece of junk. I'll sell thousands of 'em.
153
154!!10A – Door Number 16
155* The scene where Ernie tries to eavesdrop in on Arnold and Gerald's conversation regarding the mysterious package for Mr. Smith, only to make a pratfall down the roof.
156
157!!10B – Arnold as Cupid
158* After Oskar invites himself into Arnold's room, he tells Arnold "You must have all the girls after you." Arnold assures Oskar that this isn't the case... then there's a cut to Helga in her StalkerShrine.
159* Oskar is playing poker with Vic and Morrie in Arnold's bedroom. Oskar doesn't have any money left to bet, so he decides to put up Arnold's CD player as collateral.
160-->'''Arnold:''' AAAAAAAH! Mr. Kokoshka, that's mine!
161-->'''Oskar:''' Don't worry, Arnold. I can't lose. ''(GilliganCut)'' I can't believe I lost.
162-->'''Arnold:''' [[SarcasmMode Yeah, who would have thought you would lose with a pair of threes?]]
163* Arnold is trying to study for a test but can't concentrate due to Oskar playing his saxophone [[DreadfulMusician loudly and off key]].
164-->'''Arnold''': Mr. Kokoshka, do you think you could play your saxophone some other time? I'm trying to study for a test.\
165'''Oskar''': But, Arnold, I need to practice!\
166'''Arnold''': Well, I have to study.\
167'''Oskar''': Arnold, be reasonable. Can't we at least compromise? I practice now, you can study tomorrow. (''continues playing loudly'')\
168'''Arnold''': BUT, MR. KOKOSHKA, MY TEST ''IS'' TOMORROW! (''angrily groans'')\
169(''The next day...'')\
170'''Oskar''': Hey, Arnold, how'd your test go?\
171'''Arnold''': Not so good...\
172'''Oskar''': That's too bad. [[HypocriticalHumor You should've studied!]]
173
174!!11A – Benchwarmer
175
176!!11B – Cool Jerk
177* Harold getting hit in the nose by his own dodge ball after it bounces off a wall, followed by Helga calling him "[[Literature/RudolphTheRedNosedReindeer Rudolph]]".
178** Then Harold threatens to beat up Arnold.
179-->'''Harold''': No, I'm not fine! I'm hurt bad and I'm gonna kick Arnold's butt!\
180'''Arnold''': Who, me?\
181'''Harold''': YEAH!
182
183!!12A – Das Subway
184* There's a GilliganCut for the kids riding on the subway.
185-->'''Helga:''' No subway for me. Not no way, not no how. I am NOT taking the subway. ''(cut)'' I can't ''believe'' I'm taking the subway.
186* Everyone's deadpan response to what they thought the homeless man was going to say at the end:
187-->'''Helga:''' We know, we know.
188-->'''Everyone:''' ''(except for the homeless man)'' "Get out of your house!"
189* How the conductor, over the loudspeaker, randomly switches from sounding cool, calm, and collected to completely FREAKING OUT!!!
190--> '''Conductor''': Passengers, it may just be a matter of minutes or hours ''OR DAYS OR WEEKS!!!'' 'til the search and rescue team finds our ''FORGOTTEN AND STRANDED SUBWAY CAR!!!'' and takes out of this ''INCREASINGLY HOPELESS!!!'' situation, so let's all remain calm, there's no need to ''DOOMED!!! WE'RE ALL DOOMED!!! WHY ME?!?!''
191** It becomes even more hilarious when he talks matter of factly about the situation.
192--> '''Conductor''': Attention, passengers, I have an update: we're doomed, we're trapped. I'm talking to you from the fetal position. I'm scrunched up small, rocking back and forth, trying to think of there's any way out. I don't think there is. ''I REALLY DON'T THINK THERE IS!!! DO YOU THINK THERE IS, NO!! THANK YOU FOR RIDING THE SUBWAY!!!! HAVE A NICE DAY!!! (sobbing)''
193* At one point Helga blames the subway breaking down on Harold swinging around on the poles.
194* When Gertie hears about the stranded subway car, she pulls a LockAndLoadMontage to get ready to save the day...and then has to pass by the [[UnusuallyUninterestingSight completely nonchalant Phil]] to leave the boarding house.
195-->'''Phil''': ''(Reading a newspaper)'' Goin' out, Pookie?
196-->'''Gertie''': '''''Don't wait up.'''''
197-->'''Phil''': ''(Not even looking up from the paper)'' OK, I'll save you some supper.
198
199!!12B – Wheezin' Ed
200* Sid and Rhonda play a ball throwing game on the boardwalk.
201-->'''Sid:''' You throw like a girl, man.\
202'''Rhonda:''' Well, ''you'' throw like a little shrimp with stringy hair and big ears and your hat on backwards!\
203'''Sid:''' No, I don't.
204* Later, Helga pairs Sid and Rhonda to explore a tunnel together. Sid jumps in Rhonda's arms when the two see bones lying on the floor. A flashlight that they dropped then shines on a bucket of discarded fried chicken bones.
205-->'''Sid:''' ''(nervous laugh)'' I guess we're pretty jumpy, huh?\
206'''Rhonda:''' ''(drops Sid)''
207* Brainy randomly appearing in the cave.
208-->'''Arnold:''' What are ''you'' doing here!?\
209'''Brainy:''' *wheeze* Uhh, *wheeze* something?
210* Arnold and his friends stumble into a counterfeit penny ring, thinking it's Wheezin' Ed's treasure. When Arnold and Gerald inspect the coins closer, the former asks this:
211-->'''Arnold:''' Who'd be stupid enough to make ''counterfeit pennies''?
212** And the moment shortly thereafter when they run into Vic and Morrie the counterfeiters:
213--->'''Sid:''' AAAAAAAH it's WHEEZIN' ED! ''(sees henchman)'' And... [[MyFriendsAndZoidberg and SOME OTHER GUY!]]
214
215!!13A – Tutoring Torvald
216* Arnold describes to Torvald 3 real-world situations where math is needed.
217-->'''Arnold:''' ''(sigh)'' Okay. Say you want to work for NASA, but you never learned to count backwards.
218-->'''Torvald:''' 10, 9, 8, uh... 12, 16, 2, ''(the astronaut gets out of the rocket)'' 33.
219-->'''Astronaut:''' ''(shouting)'' ZERO! ZERO! ''(rocket takes off)'' NO!
220-->'''Arnold:''' Or you get a job at the stock market, but you're still having trouble with your pluses and minuses.
221-->''(Torvald presses the red minus button, changing the number from a green 4,500 to a red -4,500 which causes people to panic. A screen reads "DOWN 100%".)''
222-->'''Man:''' It's a crash! The entire world economy is destroyed!
223-->'''Arnold:''' So then, you get a job at a fast-food joint.
224-->'''Manager:''' ''(Hispanic accent)'' Okay, Torvald. Fill the napkin dispensers on all tables with numbers divisible by a factor of 3.
225-->''(Torvald looks at all the tables and moans in agony)''
226-->'''Torvald:''' Okay, okay. You made your point.
227
228!!13B – Gerald Comes Over
229* "Aw, he hit the chicken."
230* Mr. Purdy and Arnold arguing about whether or not he's hiding a chicken in his room. When Arnold finally gets to the point and asks about his rent:
231-->'''Mr. Purdy:''' Listen, can I pay you tomorrow?
232
233!!14A – Spelling Bee
234* This beautiful bit of TemptingFate:
235-->'''Helga:''' There's nobody on the planet with worse luck than me!\
236''(kicks a can, which gets lodged in [[TheChewToy Eugene]]'s bike tire, causing him to spin out and ramp into a lot filled with pit bulls)''
237* The huge banner greeting contestants that reads "WELCOME [[RougeAnglesOfSatin SPEELERS]]!", which is so hilariously ironic that you can't help but wonder if it was completely intentional or an honest mistake-turned-ThrowItIn moment.
238* The huge security guard takes Seymour Stump away after the moderator finds out his mom was spelling words in his ear via a hidden earpiece.
239* Big Bob's gives a BigWhat after Helga [[ThrowingTheFight deliberately]] [[EpicFail spells "qualm" with an X]].
240** Arnold worrying if Helga's upset about losing. We then get to see how "upset" she is...
241--->'''Helga:''' (''skipping happily through the streets'') I'M FREE! ''I'M FREE!''
242
243!!14B – Pigeon Man
244
245!!15A – Olga Comes Home
246* Helga forges Olga's report card (making her think she got a B+ and sending the poor girl into a depression) and begins getting all the gifts that Olga turned down (as she thinks she's a failure just because she got a B+), Helga eats from a box of chocolates and gloats how she finally took over being the favorite of the family -- until she chokes on the chocolate and has to give herself the Heimlich maneuver.
247** Near the end, Helga begins to realize just how badly Olga is affected by her prank and feels pity for her, alone and crying in her room. She remarks that there's only "one thing to do" ...and promptly closes Olga's door to lessen the noise.
248* Bob and Miriam check on Olga the day after she gets her report card.
249-->'''Bob:''' It's been a whole day. She can't just lay around the house moping like that!
250-->'''Miriam:''' Sure, she can. ''I'' do.
251* In Helga's dream, Arnold appears to her as an angel and at the end of the dream she asks him, "What's it like to fly?"
252-->'''Arnold Angel:''' "Eh, it's okay."
253
254!!15B – Sally's Comet
255* Arnold and Gerald need help binge-eating cereal for box tops necessary to receive a telescope in the mail. Harold (who is one of several people helping out) pours some cereal straight from the box into his mouth, eats it, and says "Ughhh... I just swallowed a prize. Sorry."
256* Gerald calling Grandpa's real name at the end.
257-->'''Phil Shortman:''' Will ya stop calling me Phil! '''(FIN)'''
258
259!!16A – Abner Come Home
260* Arnold yelling through the city for Abner, only to catch the attention of a GrumpyOldMan whose name is apparently also Abner.
261
262!!16B – The Sewer King
263* Arnold and his friends encounter a humongous manhole. As soon as the workers leave, the kids sneak past and examine the hole closer.
264-->'''Helga''': Well, somebody throw something in.\
265(''Harold grabs Sid and hoists him up'')\
266'''Sid''': AAAH!\
267'''Helga''': I mean a rock!\
268(''Harold sheepishly puts Sid down'')
269* Gerald's paranoid ImagineSpot of him and Arnold entering the sewer hole to retrieve Grandpa's watch, starting with the ladder collapses and he and Arnold plummet down the manhole and land in a giant spider's web.
270-->'''Arnold''': You coming with me?\
271'''Gerald''': Okay, [[ThisIsGonnaSuck but I'm gonna regret it...]]
272* The Sewer King is pleased when one of the rats brings him the "royal icon" and coos at it for a second.
273-->'''Sewer King''': Now get out of here.\
274* The Sewer King mentioning that the rats occasionally do play chess with him.
275* At the end after Arnold finally brings Grandpa back his one-of-a-kind pocketwatch from the Sewer King's lair, Grandpa ends up losing it down the drain--where it ends up back in the Sewer King's possession. He then reveals he has a drawer full of pocket watches exactly like that one. Arnold, realizing he went through all that trouble with the Sewer King for [[AllForNothing absolutely nothing]] reacts with stunned disbelief and then says he's going for a walk to take a long hard look at himself. Grandpa's reaction is to ask Arnold if he can bring him back some milk while he's out.
276
277!!17A – False Alarm
278* Curly has an AxCrazy reaction to Eugene borrowing his Wanky Land pencil and then returning it chewed up and sharpened down to the metal part.
279* '''Curly:''' SHARPENING! SHARPENING! SHARPENING!
280* While reading the jury votes:
281-->'''Helga''': Guilty, guilty, Fudgey Nut-Nut Bar?
282-->'''Harold''': It's on the back, Madam Fortress Mommy!
283* When Harold starts choking on a banna, Helga jumps to the rescue, confusing the iniitals CPR with CPU.
284-->'''Helga''': Out of the way, I'm a certified CPU!
285
286!!17B – World Records
287* Arnold and Gerald thinking that the "walking backwards" record will be a cinch... only to discover they'd have to walk more than 8,000 miles to break it.
288* Arnold suggests a record involving fiery limbo dancing, only for Gerald to shoot back with, "I don't wanna burn my belly!"
289* Arnold rounding up kids from the neighborhood to break world records, each one ending in failure.
290** "Highest pyramid of kids": [[ButtMonkey Eugene]] is shown on the bottom and buckles, sending the others toppling down on him.
291** "Longest game of Crack the Whip": Eugene has fun until [[GreenAroundTheGills he starts to get sick]]. He stumbles off the chain and crashes off-screen.
292--->'''Phoebe''': This is not safe.\
293(''[[DescriptionCut fade to the following record]]'')
294** "Most kids riding a single bicycle": Harold starts pedaling so early that some kids have to run to catch the bike. Arnold stands there and yells "[[BigNo No!]]" as the bike pulls out of view. The kids then scream and [[SecurityCling hang onto each other]] with Brainy covering Harold's eyes. [[RuleOfThree Eugene]], still recovering from the last attempt, is directly in the bike's path. He screams, [[CrossesTheLineTwice throws his crutch]] and runs before the bike plows into him.
295* Arnold, his friends, and other people from the neighborhood try to get into the Book of World Records by making the world's biggest pizza puff.
296-->'''Gerald:''' I hope we put in enough baking soda.
297-->'''Phoebe:''' 150 teaspoons should be plenty.
298-->'''Sid:''' ''(nervously)'' "Teaspoons"? I didn't know it was... "teaspoons."
299-->'''Phoebe''': What did you think "TSP" stood for?
300-->''(long pause)''
301-->'''Sid:''' Uh... ten square pounds?
302-->'''Arnold:''' [[OhCrap Uh-oh...]]
303-->'''Oskar:''' Look out, she's gonna blow!
304-->''(The pizza puff explodes, sending ingredients flying everywhere. Some of the sauce lands on Harold who's still riding on a kiddie ride outside of a supermarket. He licks the sauce off his face and grins happily.)''
305
306!!18A – Magic Show
307* "Come on, I paid for this show!" "'Paid for it'? It's ''free'', you bonehead!"
308* The headline of the newspaper in Helga's ImagineSpot: '''IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE WITHOUT HELGA'''.
309* "Wait, if I'm a ghost...I can fly." (falls flat on her face in the street)
310
311!!18B – 24 Hours to Live
312* Harold's NonSequiturThud: "Night, mommy..."
313* Helga's brief imitation of Harold saying Arnold's name, complete with an inexplicable bigger tooth on the bottom on her mouth.
314* '''HEY ARNOLD! 24 HOURS UNTIL YOU DIIIIIIEEEE!'''
315* This message on the radio the next morning:
316--> This one goes out to Arnold who's going to die in 2 hours six minutes and 47 seconds, from Helga who hates you.
317
318!!19A – Part-Time Friends
319* Gerald's JawDrop at seeing Arnold create a topiary of Creator/SandroBotticelli's ''Art/{{The Birth of Venus|Botticelli}}''.
320
321!!19B – Biosquare
322
323!!20 – Arnold's Christmas
324* Arnold asking Gerald what gifts he is giving his (Gerald's) family for Christmas.
325-->'''Arnold:''' So what did you get your dad?
326-->'''Gerald:''' A nice, plaid tie. Not too loud.
327-->'''Arnold:''' That's nice. What did you get Jaime O.?
328-->'''Gerald:''' A tie: red and blue.
329-->'''Arnold:''' That's good. What did you get Timberly?
330-->'''Gerald:''' A tie, with little pink things on it.
331-->'''Arnold:''' Gerald, you can't give Timberly a tie for Christmas. She's a little 4-year old girl. What's she gonna wear a tie for?
332-->'''Gerald:''' Formal occasions.
333* When Helga goes on one of her soliloquies, she gets mud and dirty water from the street splashed on her by Mr. Green's meat truck.
334* Oskar sets up a prank for the other boarding house members when they draw names for the Christmas gift exchange.
335-->'''Grandpa Phil:''' So that's all of us. It's time to pick your secret Santa.
336-->'''Oskar:''' Go ahead, everybody. Pick a random name from the bowl.
337-->''(All boarders but Oskar draw folded papers out of a glass bowl.)''
338-->'''Mr. Hyunh:''' ''(whispering to Ernie)'' Don't tell anyone, but I got Oskar.
339-->'''Ernie:''' I got Oskar, too.
340-->'''Grandpa Phil:''' ''(surprised)'' So did I.
341-->'''Oskar:''' Eh heh heh heh! What a coincidence!
342-->'''Ernie:''' Kokoshka, you bum! You wrote your name on all the slips!
343-->'''Oskar:''' Okay, okay, it was a joke. A Christmas joke, eunh?
344-->'''Grandpa Phil:''' A yuletide prankster, eh?
345* Oskar opening his Christmas present.
346-->'''Oskar:''' Everybody look, what can it be? ''(lifts a bag out of the box)'' Coal? It looks like a bag of coal. Who would give me a bag of coal on Christmas?
347-->'''Ernie:''' ''(denying)'' Wasn't me.
348[[/folder]]
349
350[[folder:Season 2]]
351'''Note: ''' Episodes with an asterisk (*) were originally produced as part of Season 1. (Indicated by the Games Animation logo at the end)
352
353!!21A – Helga's Boyfriend*
354* Stinky's father tries to get him to eat a cheese sandwich, which Stinky refuses because he's "too forlorn, melancholy, and wistful." His father reacts with unabashed glee when Stinky tells him he can have the sandwich.
355
356!!21B – Crush on Teacher*
357* The RunningGag about [[OnlyOneName no one knowing Arnold's last name]] gets a hell of a lot funnier when Helga cuts her customary [[OncePerEpisode dramatic love monologue]] short after she realizes that she still hasn't figured it out. Helga might be a StalkerWithACrush with a love shrine dedicated to Arnold, and she might obsess over every detail about him...but not even ''she'' knows what the dude's last name is.
358-->'''Helga:''' Oh, how I long to match Arnold's stride! Run with him as one! Break the tape at the finish line of life as Mrs. Arnold--wait, what ''is'' his last name...?
359* Ms. Felter hears Gerald attempting to call Arnold on his walkie-talkie, only for Arnold tell her that [[EpicFail his pants sometimes talk.]]
360
361!!22A – Hall Monitor*
362* Principal Wartz asks Helga who will succeed her as P.S. 118 Hall Monitor.
363-->'''Wartz:''' As is our tradition here at P.S. 118, the retiring hall monitor gets to select the next officer. Helga, have you chosen your replacement?
364-->'''Helga:''' Well, actually, Mr. Principal Wartz, I was thinking of volunteering for a second term.
365-->''(The student audience groans, Helga growls, their spines straighten.)''
366* On her first day as hall monitor, Phoebe gets trampled by kids entering the school. A few seconds later, Harold somehow pushes her into a school locker.
367-->'''Helga:''' Phoebe! Are you all right? Phoebe, say something!
368-->'''Phoebe:''' ''(somberly)'' I quit.
369* In the lunch line, Gerald tells Arnold all the reasons of why he will be in detention.
370-->'''Gerald:''' Did you hear about that monster truck show? Wish we could go.
371-->'''Arnold:''' Can't. I got detention.
372-->'''Gerald:''' I know; me, too. ''(he pulls out some detention slips)'' Look at these. One for walking too fast, one for walking too slow, one for turning a corner too sharply, one for turning too wide, one for squeaky shoes, one for suspiciously ''quiet'' shoes, and these are just from this morning.
373-->''(Gerald throws the detention slips into the air and they fall to the floor. Phoebe walks up to Gerald and hands him another slip.)''
374-->'''Gerald:''' What's this?
375-->'''Phoebe:''' One for littering. ''(Gerald frowns)''
376* Phoebe looks into the window reflection, envisions herself looking like Helga, and screams.
377-->'''Helga:''' Hey, it's not ''that'' scary.
378-->'''Phoebe:''' ''Yes, it is!''
379
380!!22B – Harold's Bar Mitzvah*
381* Harold's nightmare about being a man in ancient Jewish times the night before his bar mitzvah.
382* Harold's reason for why he gave away his orange popsicle to 2 young boys fighting over a purple one.
383-->'''Arnold:''' I don't I've ever seen you give up a popsicle before, Harold.
384-->'''Harold:''' Yeah, well, those kids wouldn't ''shut up.''
385* Harold chanting a Hebrew prayer, scaring away a bully on the city bus.
386-->'''Bully:''' You may be dressed in your bar mitzvah best, but you're still a punk, and I'm gonna show you who's boss. Say your prayers, kiddo.
387-->'''Harold:''' ''(hands folded, chanting in Hebrew)'' Sh'ma Yisrael Adonai...
388-->'''Bully:''' What are you saying?
389-->'''Harold:''' ''(continuing)'' Eloihanu Adonai Echad.
390-->'''Bully:''' Hey, you're weirding me out with that gibberish. [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere I'm outta here!]] ''(He moves to the front of the bus)''
391** When Arnold and Harold get off the bus, the bully watches them looking absolutely terrified.
392* After Arnold tells Harold about the good things he just did, Harold stills says he wants to go to Elk Island.
393* YMMV, but the fact that Harold is old enough in Jewish culture to be a man, but can't rent a canoe. Granted, that was probably just his excuse.
394* Stinky takes Harold's yarmulke at his bar mitzvah reception. He does give it back a little later.
395-->'''Harold:''' MOMMY, THEY TOOK MY YARMULKE!
396
397!!23A – Coach Wittenberg (episode)*
398
399!!23B – Four-Eyed Jack (episode)*
400* Ernie ominously warns Arnold and Gerald about a time where he apparently messed with "the unknown".
401* Four-Eyed Jack scaring Gerald with an "Uh, boo."
402
403!!24A – Tour de Pond*
404
405!!24B – Teachers' Strike*
406* When the teachers go on strike, Principal Wartz has to teach the entire school. He tries to lead everyone in a sing-along.
407-->'''Wartz:''' And now, the left side of the room! B-I-N-G-O...
408%%* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m8CBrZfwVzY "Slippage"?]]
409%% Weblinks are not examples. Please add context.
410* The coffee shop owner lists all the coffee flavors in ultra-fast, caffeinated fashion.
411* The boys encounter a history teacher working at a bowling alley. When he asks them when the War of 1812 was, they just give him [[IsThisAJoke blank stares in exasperation.]]
412
413!!25 – Arnold's Valentine*
414* Peapod Kid asks Miss Slovak, what if they do not particularly care about anyone or ever experienced love.
415-->'''Miss Slovak''': [[DeadpanSnarker Then you'd be me.]]
416* Helga’s foreign pen pal is from Baghdakistan being a postcard from an extremely plain desert with the [[SarcasmMode heart-filled]] message, “Please Send Money!”
417* Helga going through her wardrobe, and gets out a muumuu and says sarcastically, "Hello, boys and girls. I'm a lunch lady."
418* Arnold somehow doesn't see through Helga's PaperThinDisguise.
419
420!!26A – Runaway Float*
421* Harold's float design for the City Day Parade: A giant brownie.
422* Helga is about to tell Arnold how she got money form her dad for Arnold's parade float design, but Gerald sidetracks her first.
423-->'''Helga:''' Hey, Arnold. I did it.
424-->'''Gerald:''' You're the one that put the super glue in Eugene's lunchbox?
425-->'''Helga:''' ''No'', you morons. Doy.
426* As Arnold and his friends are building the parade float in the boarding house garage, Sid picks up a flower with a bee and gets attacked by it. This is followed by Arnold's friend's unable to continue helping out.
427-->'''Arnold:''' Hey, what's wrong you guys? Why did you stop working?
428-->'''Rhonda:''' We're out of ''flowers,'' Arnold.
429-->'''Nadine:''' ''Yeah,'' and chicken wire.
430-->''(Eugene sets a box of nails on a board which sends a can full of paint flying. It splashes on the wall with Arnold's design patterns.)''
431-->'''Eugene:''' We're out of paint, too.
432* Much of what happens during the runaway float part is pretty funny. During the parade, the wind increases in speed, causing Grandpa Phil to lose his hat. Then, the re-designed papier-mâché beeper float becomes unstable. Big Bob and Nick Vermicelli argue over who should have the control panel. It plows into the marching band, knocking the members down like bowling pins. Helga prays in garbled telephone talk right before Arnold pulls the vehicle's emergency brake.
433* Arnold's/Big Bob's float wins the best float award. Nick wants to accept it, but Big Bob stops him.
434-->'''Nick Vermicelli:''' Thank you, thank you! Thanks a lot! It's a great honor to win this...
435-->'''Big Bob:''' ''(shoves him aside)'' Ah, get outta here, ya...
436
437!!26B – Partners*
438* Arnold's grandma gives him a suggestion for what he could do at the P.S. 118 school talent show.
439-->'''Grandma Gertie:''' Maybe you could fly around the auditorium like a bird.
440-->'''Arnold:''' ''(deadpan)'' Thanks, Grandma.
441* The montage of Arnold and Gerald practicing acts for the talent show in Arnold's bedroom. First, Arnold tries the magic trick of sawing Gerald in half, but Gerald's shirt rips. Next, both of them do a sock puppet show which turns into a slapstick routine because they keep hitting each other with the puppets. Finally, there's the absurdity of Arnold balancing on a rubber ball as he juggles an apple, a fish, a bowling pin, and a baseball ''all'' while Gerald is upside down with his hair on Arnold's head as he plays an accordion with his feet. They both crash to the floor.
442* The terrible sounding songs written by Dino Spumoni and Don Reynolds. For Dino, it's the lyrics; for Don, it's the melody.
443** [[SugarWiki/AwesomeMusic When Arnold and Gerald combine them, however...]]
444
445!!27A – The Big Scoop
446* Helga's fake headlines including Arnold being in love with an elm tree, Gerald playing with his sister's dolls, Arnold no longer bathing, and Principal Wartz being best friends with a squirrel.
447** [[NotWhatItLooksLike The last one Helga actually had pictures to prove]].
448
449!!27B – Harold’s Kitty
450* "Come and get me, copper lady!"
451* Harold responds to the police summons with an irritated BigWhat.
452* A confused cop tries to tell Harold to come out with the kitten and his hands in the air.
453* During the montage of Harold bonding with the kitten, we see Harold cleaning its droppings off the floor while his mother and the kitten watch, his mother looking rather irritated.
454
455!!28A – Arnold Saves Sid
456* At breakfast in the boarding house, Oskar wants more pancakes.
457-->'''Grandpa Phil:''' Well, another round, short man?
458-->'''Arnold:''' No thanks, grandpa. I couldn't eat another bite. ''(he gets up and leaves)''
459-->'''Oskar:''' I'll take them, grandpa. ''(he grins)''
460-->''({{Beat}})''
461-->'''Grandpa Phil:''' ''(angrily)'' You already had 3 helpings, you no-good chiseler. ''And don't call me "grandpa"!''
462-->''(A slap is heard as Arnold walks to the front door.)''
463-->'''Oskar:''' ''(off-screen)'' Ow! You hurt my hand! I'm going to sue you!
464* Sid forces an older kid (Burt from 6th Grade Girls) on the city bus to move so Arnold can have a window seat.
465-->'''Sid:''' You! You're gonna have to move so my friend can sit by the window.
466-->'''Burt:''' ''(gets up)'' You're talking to me?
467-->'''Arnold:''' ''(whispering)'' Sid, what are you doing?
468-->'''Sid:''' ''(whispers to Arnold)'' Let me take care of this. ''(to the guy)'' That's right, I'm talking to you, bubba. Now move your can, pronto. My friend doesn't like to wait.
469-->''(Burt frowns and goes to another seat.)''
470-->'''Sid:''' Right this way, Arnold.
471* Miss Slovak is impressed with Sid's knowledge of Christopher Columbus, but he doesn't want the credit.
472-->'''Sid:''' Thank you, but I don't deserve credit. No, the credit belongs to my friend, Arnold. ''(sniff)'' ''(sadly)'' The guy who saved my life.
473-->''(He sniffs more and starts weeping face-down on his desk.)''
474* Arnold wakes up and finds Sid in his room steam-pressing his school clothes.
475* When Grandpa Phil is cleaning the kitchen floor, he tells Arnold about a similar lifelong servant experience he had. Arnold asks him for advice about his situation with Sid.
476-->'''Arnold:''' So what should I do?
477-->'''Grandpa Phil:''' ''(thinking)'' Here's what you do. Take this mop. Mop the floor. See ya. ''(he walks away, accompanied with a quick rimshot)''
478* A montage of Sid helping out Arnold includes him forcing a ''different'' guy to move on the city bus. (No audio, though)
479
480!!28B – Hookey
481* Arnold tries to talk Gerald out of playing hooky.
482-->'''Arnold:''' We can't.
483-->'''Gerald:''' Why not? Lots of kids do it.
484-->'''Arnold:''' Like who?
485-->'''Gerald:''' Like Smedvick. Remember Smedvick?
486-->'''Arnold:''' Uh... Gerald? Smedvick's in Juvenile Hall.
487-->'''Gerald:''' What's your point?
488-->'''Arnold:''' Forget it, Gerald. We ''can't'' play hooky.
489* Arnold's phone call to Principal Wartz for getting out of school.
490-->'''Arnold:''' Uh, hello? I mean, I mean ''(coughs and imitates Grandpa Phil)'' Uh, yes, Principal Wartz? This is Arnold's grandpa. Just so's you know, young Arnold will be out today. Got a touch of malaria. Ooh, not to worry, though. What don't kill you makes you stronger, I always say. I'd talk to ya more but I ate Mexican for breakfast. Gotta go! ''(hangs up payphone)''
491-->'''Gerald:''' Arnold, I am ''moved'' by your greatness.
492-->'''Arnold:''' ''(normal voice)'' It's no big deal. I've been hanging around grandpa so long I just kinda picked it up.
493* At Quigley Field, Arnold is concerned Gerald and him will be caught on camera. Gerald [[TemptingFate tempts fate]] about the chances of that happening, and they both appear on the Jumbotron, causing them to leave.
494* After getting disguises from a costume store, Arnold and Gerald are mistakenly arrested because they look like Huffnagel and Keschleffsky, the Yahoo Soda bandits. Arnold and Gerald both think they are going to jail, but the real bad guys were caught so they get to be released.
495* Arnold and Gerald go back to school, find out it was a surprise Carnival Day, and contemplate what the moral of their experience was.
496-->'''Arnold:''' So is there a moral to this?
497-->'''Gerald:''' Yeah, stay in school and ''pray'' that it's carnival day.
498-->'''Arnold:''' It's not much of a moral, is it?
499-->'''Gerald:''' How about, don't wear fake beards or you'll get arrested?
500-->'''Arnold:''' No, that's no good.
501-->'''Gerald:''' Stay away from "Buddy Love" movies?
502-->'''Arnold:''' Hmm. Closer, but that's not it, either. '''(FIN)'''
503
504!!29A – Save the Tree
505* Arnold's grandparents talk about how old "Mighty Pete" is.
506-->'''Grandma:''' It's 700 years old!
507-->'''Grandpa:''' So are you, but who's counting? ''(rimshot)''
508* Sid remarks that they've "thrown out everything but the kitchen sink" in the path of the bulldozer in their fruitless efforts to stop it, then [[KitchenSinkIncluded throws down a literal kitchen sink]]. Which also gets crushed.
509* Arnold notices one thing they haven't thrown at the bulldozer yet: a ceramic mug.
510-->'''Arnold:''' If I hit the lever, I think I can stop it!
511-->''(Arnold misses the lever, and the mug shatters)''
512-->'''Helga:''' ''(mocking voice)'' If I hit the lever, I think I can stop it.
513* The bulldozer which was going to knock down “Mighty Pete” is taken over by Arnold’s Grandma Gertie.
514-->'''Nick Vermicelli:''' ''(shouting and chasing Arnold's Grandma)'' Hey! Crazy lady! Come back here with that bulldozer!
515* Sid's reaction upon seeing Big Bob and Nick on the bulldozer: '''AHHH! IT'S BIG BOB... [[CallBack AND SOME OTHER GUY]]!'''
516
517!!29B – New Teacher
518* During the scene where all the kids "prank" Mr. Simmons by coughing at the same time, the camera pans out to show the entire circle of students, still coughing... ''with Curly lying dramatically on the floor''.
519* Mr. Simmons has the students brush up on their poetry lesson.
520-->'''Harold:''' I know a poem! [[OrphanedSetup There once was a man from Nantucket]]...
521-->'''Mr. Simmons:''' That's fine. Have a seat.
522* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wfeCpOgX-BQ This gem]] after Curly intentionally drops a pencil in an attempt to annoy the second new teacher:
523-->'''Lieutenant Major Goose:''' Who deployed that pencil? It was a calculated act! ''(Walks to Curly's desk)'' Since the foreign object is under your desk, I assume you are the enemy! What is your name?
524-->'''Curly:''' Curly!
525-->'''Goose:''' ''Your hair's not curly,'' boy! What's your ''real'' name?
526-->'''Curly:''' [[EmbarrassingFirstName Thaddeus.]]
527-->'''Goose:''' ''({{Beat}})'' ...Curly! Go stand in that corner facing inward! ''(Helga laughs)'' You've earned yourself a corner, little lady! ''(Harold laughs)'' And so have you, pally! Move, move, move! ''(Points at Stinky)'' You! The remaining corner now!
528-->'''Stinky:''' Why?
529-->'''Goose:''' ''(In an "Isn't it obvious?" tone)'' Symmetry!
530* This classic line from Curly:
531--->'''Curly:''' WHY DO FOOLS FALL IN LOVE!?
532* Lt. Major Goose begins humming a patriotic song with his hands over his ears to avoid all the kids' questions. We then get a close-up of the kids' faces, in full NightmareFuel mode.
533-->'''Wartz:''' Why are you doing this, Mr. Goose? Is this part of the lesson plan?
534-->'''Goose:''' SIR! MAY I BE RELIEVED OF MY DUTIES HERE, SIR?!
535-->'''Wartz:''' Does that mean you're quitting?
536-->'''Goose:''' ''(Salutes Wartz)'' SIR, YES SIR! AAAAAAAUUUUUGGGH! ''(He runs out of the school).''
537* YMMV, but Simmons' entire New Age-y, "special" shtick is so overblown and schmaltzy, it's hilarious.
538* Simmons discovers Harold has eaten his sandwich ...during a reading of the [[Creator/WilliamCarlosWilliams William Carlos Williams]] poem "They Were Delicious". (The show uses a LawyerFriendlyCameo version--Walter Charles Walters).
539
540!!30A – Ransom
541* Gerald's assessment of the perp: "One, he means business, and two, he flunked spelling."
542* The fact that Harold ate the eye off his own Wally doll.
543-->'''Harold''': I was hungry...
544* The Wally show closes out with a knock-off of the "I Love You" song from ''Barney'' where Wally is not subtle ''at all'' about asking the kids watching the show to buy as much of his merchandise as possible.
545* After the Wally TV show ends, you can hear an announcer for the next program ask "Is there life on other planets and if so, do they keep kosher?"
546
547!!30B – Ms. Perfect
548* Helga's pranks on Lila failing and targeting Big Patty instead resulting in her getting beaten up in the broom closet multiple times.
549
550!!31A – Monkey Business
551
552!!31B – Big Caesar
553* Grandma's impersonation of a pirate parrot. Grandpa calls her out that the parrot on her shoulder is fake, until it flies away at the end.
554* Phil tells a reporter the story of his encounter with Big Caesar, including how the big fish swallowed him whole.
555-->'''Gertie''': ''[squawking like a parrot]'' Making it up! Making it up!\
556'''Phil''': Will you stop that?! And I'm not making it up! Well, maybe I am making it up. I'm 80-years-old. It was a long time ago. I could've made up the whole thing. In fact, maybe it wasn't me at all, but then how come I have all this fishing gear?! And what about this actual photographic evidence? ''[shows it to the reporter]''\
557'''Reporter''': Sir, this is a photo of Hedy Lamarr.\
558'''Phil''': Exactly! Lemme see that.
559
560!!32A – The High Life
561
562!!32B – Best Friends
563* The boys are playing dodge ball. Gerald throws the ball, and instead of hitting Eugene the jinx, it easily knocks Arnold down, who has been sleep deprived. Eugene is especially ecstatic that the ball missed him, chanting "It missed me! It MISSED ME!" until a ball does hit him.
564
565!!33A – Longest Monday
566* To avoid being StuffedIntoATrashCan, Stinky hides in a trash can.
567-->'''Stinky:''' Talk about ironic.
568
569!!33B – Eugene’s Pet
570* Eugene explains that he can't have a pet rabbit because his last one gave him nightmares.
571* Eugene's depression of losing his goldfish led him to bringing Elbert, an imaginary hippopotamus to school. The following scene, he's putting up fliers saying "Elbert ran away. He chewed through his leash." It's sad, pathetic, but ultimately hilarious that even in his imagination Eugene loses his pets.
572-->'''Gerald''': Man, losing a pretend pet? Now that's pathetic.
573* Arnold's grandad suggests to never go to Vegas or on a plane with Eugene.
574* Eugene finally gets his own pet; an angel fish from the city aquarium. But while his back was turned, the fish was casually eaten by a shark.
575
576!!34A – Mud Bowl
577* Wolfgang just challenged the fourth graders to a football game. Sid then him offers an alternative to football.
578-->'''Sid:''' I have a great idea! How about a game of TabletopGame/{{Chess}}? We'll have a tournament...
579-->'''Wolfgang:''' ''(snaps back)'' Football, ''[[PunctuatedForEmphasis foot-ball]], here!'' Saturday.
580* Helga's [[DrillSergeantNasty drill-sergeant nasty]] methods of getting the fourth graders ready for the game, which includes each of them drinking 10 power protein drinks every day until Saturday.
581* After exercising too hard, Harold barfs up the protein drinks he consumed.
582-->'''Harold:''' ''(barfs)'' Ugh. I just threw up my protein drink! ''(barfs again)''
583* Wolfgang and his friends are practicing in the park. He catches the football in the street and crashes into a city mailbox, crushing it in the process.
584-->'''Wolfgang:''' Yeah! ''(he spikes the football)'' Touchdown! ''(turns to Arnold, Gerald, Sid, and Stinky)'' You fourth graders are ''DEAD MEAT!''
585-->''(He walks back across the road, sticks his right arm in front of an oncoming car, and it screeches to a halt.)''
586* At lunch in school amongst his friends (plus Wolfgang and Edmund), Harold gives his reason for why he doesn't want to play football on Saturday.
587-->'''Harold:''' And I have to feed my dog.
588-->'''Helga:''' Harold, you don't even ''have a dog!''
589-->'''Harold:''' Okay, okay! Then I'm scared and cold and sort of nauseous.
590* Torvald casually shoving away the fifth graders as they try to stop him from scoring.
591* YMMV for Torvald's unfortunate injury from tripping into a small hole on the football field, therefore ending the fourth graders' seemingly flawless strategy where he gets the ball on every offensive play for them.
592* Eugene picks up the football Harold fumbled from the handoff and he gets dog-piled by all the fifth graders.
593-->'''Eugene:''' Ow...
594-->'''Arnold:''' Hey, this is ''touch'' football.
595-->'''Wolfgang:''' [[SarcasmMode Oops, I guess we forgot.]]
596* After the fourth graders tie the game at 42 all, Eugene [[TemptingFate tempts fate]] on their progress.
597-->'''Eugene:''' This is wonderful! Everything is going our way, nothing can stop us, ''plus'' it's a lovely fall day.
598-->''(All of a sudden, rain clouds show up with lightning and thunder. Rain falls on the park.)''
599
600!!34B – Gerald Moves Out
601* Timberly takes some tape which she calls a "shiny ribbon" from Gerald's cassette and wraps it around some books.
602* Gerald bounces around lying on the [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murphy_bed Murphy bed]] in his room at the boarding house. It springs back up into the wall.
603-->'''Gerald:''' Uh, Arnold... I need some help.
604* Ernie and Mr. Hyunh arguing about lint and the rules of the boarding house laundry room.
605-->'''Mr. Hyunh:''' The rule says all tenants must clean out the lint filter.
606-->'''Ernie:''' And I'm telling ''you'' that filter was clean as a whistle when I was through.
607-->'''Mr. Hyunh:''' Then why did I find all of this? This lint -- ''your'' lint!
608* Some of the rules listed in the laundry room include:
609** Riding in clothes dryer is forbidden without adult.
610** Modern music is not allowed on Thursdays and Saturdays.
611** No standing around in your birthday suit in order to wash everything.
612** Smoking permitted inside washer on rinse cycle.
613* Mr. Hyunh is not Gerald's mother!
614-->'''Mr. Hyunh''': I'm not his mother!
615
616!!35A – Freeze Frame
617* Arnold and Gerald go to the Police Station and tell the officers there the information they heard about a guy named Marty ([[spoiler:Later revealed to be Mr. Green]]) who's going to be murdered. The law officials laugh in disbelief.
618-->'''Arnold:''' I don't think they took us very seriously.
619-->'''Gerald:''' What makes you say that?
620
621!!35B – Phoebe Cheats
622* Mr. Simmons reads Helga's love poem for Arnold for a poetry contest in class and it is signed Anonymous. When Helga hears Mr. Simmons begin to read it, she freaks out and slouches down in her chair.
623-->'''Stinky:''' Gosh, Helga, you're sliding down your chair like it was ''your'' poem or something.
624* Phoebe takes the Emily Dickinson statue she won from the poetry contest and buries it in a sandbox at the city park. A boy jumps into the very same sandbox, unearthing the statue. It lands in front of Arnold and Gerald. They bring the statue back to Phoebe's house. When Phoebe enters her bedroom, she screams at the statue sitting in front of the window.
625* Emily asking Phoebe where they are going and if she (a trophy) will need a sweater.
626* Phoebe reads Helga's anonymous poem in front of the audience. Everybody but Helga applauds as she faints instead.
627-->'''Stinky:''' Poor Helga. She's been shot through the heart by a pretty poem.
628
629!!36A – Helga’s Love Potion
630* At school, Helga is getting a drink from the drinking fountain. Arnold is next in line.
631-->'''Helga:''' Here ya go, football head.
632-->'''Arnold:''' Thanks. ''(Helga squirts water from the fountain into his face.)'' Hey!
633-->'''Helga:''' Ha ha ha ha ha! Sucker!
634* Helga backhands Brainy after the water fountain prank.
635* Helga sees Arnold's image in the river and it ''winks'' at her.
636* Helga reads her creative writing assignment to Mr. Simmons
637-->'''Helga:''' ''(monotone)'' "Morning. I put on a pink dress. I eat oatmeal for breakfast. The news is on. Mom isn't listening. My dad reads the paper. I go to school." Not much of a poem. Oh, well.
638* Helga just says "Oh, hi Brainy." and walks away, causing Brainy to suffer a panic attack and then ''punch himself out.''
639* Helga finds out the love potion form Madame Blanche she consumed was a fake.
640-->'''Madame Blanche:''' It's just a homemade concoction. There's nothing keeping you from loving anybody.
641-->'''Helga:''' You mean, I paid you 10 bucks for some ''grape pop?!''
642-->'''Madame Blanche:''' And a little chamomile, uh-huh.
643-->'''Helga:''' Then I want my money ''back!''
644* When Helga finds out she can secretly love Arnold again, she kisses Brainy on the forehead and he falls to the ground.
645
646!!36B – Gerald’s Secret
647* Arnold makes a jump on his bicycle from one wooden ramp to another.
648-->'''Stinky:''' That was really great, Arnold!
649-->'''Harold:''' ''(annoyed)'' Aw, that's easy!
650-->''(He rides his bicycle with low inflated tires up the ramp where his speed stops. The ramp breaks and Harold falls over. The other kids laugh at him.)''
651-->'''Helga:''' Looks like you gotta knock off a few pounds, big boy.
652* Arnold has Gerald learning bike-riding on a pink girl's bike with training wheels. He doesn't think anybody will see Gerald learning at the tire warehouse, but Harold does and blabs about it to his friends.
653* While practicing in the city park, Gerald crashes his bicycle into a garbage can. He brakes right in front of 3 garbage cans stacked on top of each other, but they fall over anyway. A young kid passes by Gerald on a big-wheel tricycle, which changes his direction; Gerald ends up crashing into ''another'' garbage can and the bicycle launches him head first into it.
654* Gerald rides to the Bike-a-Thon starting line on his bike. He brakes right next to Harold and asks him, "Ready to ride... bubba?"
655* When going down the big hill, Harold loses control of his bike due to the aforementioned low inflated tires.
656-->'''Harold:''' Ooh! Ah, help, mommy! ''(He crashes into a store called'' "Baby Town"''.)''
657
658!!37A – Steely Phil
659
660!!37B – Quantity Time
661* Big Bob and Helga's reaction to ''Rats: The Musical of Singing Rats'', especially to the crying couple in the audience. Also qualifies as a SugarWiki/{{Heartwarming Moment|s}}.
662
663!!38A – Eating Contest
664* Harold shows Arnold how much he can eat at the lunch table.
665-->'''Harold:''' Ha! You ''can't'' win! I can eat way more than you can. Look! ''(He scarfs down '''3''' hard-shell tacos in one bite, then proceeds to drink pickle brine)''
666-->'''Stinky:''' Watch this, Harold. ''(He consumes an '''entire''' triple cheeseburger in one mouthful.)''
667-->''(Harold eats all the pickles and drinks all the brine in the jar.)''
668* Harold makes fun of Seymour "The Disposal".
669-->'''Harold:''' ''(mockingly)'' Ooh, I'm the big hungry "Disposal."
670-->''(Gerald, Harold, and Stinky all laugh at him before being shocked by how much ice cream he can eat in one setting)''
671* Arnold eats too much food training for the contest, so he barfs in the bathroom. His grandpa has more food waiting for him when he gets out.
672-->'''Grandpa Phil:''' Mmm... it's lobster bisque. Mmm.
673-->''(Arnold's face turns green. He goes back into the bathroom and vomits again.)''
674* At the eating contest, the first dish is hard-shell tacos from "El Patio". Harold gives up after eating just 2 of them.
675-->'''Harold:''' ''(eats one taco)'' I love this contest. Ah, I love eating! ''(he eats a second one)'' Wait... Oh, I think I ate too fast. ''(moaning)'' Oh, oh, my ''belly'' hurts! ''(shouts)'' AAAAHHHH! MOMMY! ''(he runs away and the audience laughs)''
676-->'''Grandpa Phil:''' He just took 2 bites.
677** Harold's parents were in the audience the ''entire'' time, even after he quit.
678* Stinky collapses after chomping into one of the stuffed bell peppers made by Arnold's grandma.
679-->'''Helga:''' What did your grandma ''stuff'' these with, football head? Socks?
680-->'''Grandpa Phil:''' Hey, hey! ''That'' recipe was a secret.
681* Arnold watches Seymour devour the Jolly Olly Man's ice cream.
682-->'''Arnold:''' Wow, I can't beat that. You really are "The Disposal". How are you feeling?
683-->''(Seymour stops, belches, and continues eating)''
684-->'''Gerald:''' I think he's feeling pretty good.
685
686!!38B – Rhonda’s Glasses
687* The dowdy school nurse revealing to Rhonda that she used to be the most popular girl in school. Rhonda is appropriately horrified.
688* Helga mockingly joking to Phoebe that soon Rhonda will become such a geek that she'll start reading computer magazines...only to cut to Phoebe doing just that.
689* Despite no longer being forced to, Brainy still chooses to sit in the back of the bus.
690
691!!39A – Eugene Goes Bad
692* Eugene heckles "The Abdicator" (Maurice) after finding out he doesn't perform his own stunts and falls over a cable on the ground.
693-->'''Eugene:''' Boo! Boo! The Abdicator stinks ''(trips)'' Whoa! Ow. The Abdicator's a fake! Boo!
694* Eugene picks up a book entitled "How to Go Bad." The theme music abruptly changes to rock, and he is shown donning a leather jacket and painting his room black.
695* Right after turning bad, Eugene walks along the sidewalk and falls into an open manhole.
696* Eugene starts to climb up the fire escape, but he misses the first step and falls down, saying "I'm okay."
697* The Abdicator's whining in general is pretty funny, especially his repeated requests for apricot juice. C'mon people, the guy has been working since ''11:00.''
698
699!!39B – What's Opera, Arnold?
700* Harold makes a derisive impression of [[IAmNotShazam Pagliacci, the Crying Clown.]]
701-->'''Harold:''' ''(mockingly)'' Look at me, I'm Pagliacci, the ''big sad clown'', boo-hoo-hoo. ''(laughs)''
702* Harold as "Pagliacci" in Arnold's dream.
703-->'''Harold:''' Look at me, Arnold. ''Look'' at me! I'm a... I'm a...
704-->''(to the tune of "Vesti la Giubba")'' ♪ Bi-i-i-ig u-u-u-ugly clo-o-o-o-own-o, a big, sa-a-a-a-ad, ugly clo-o-o-o-own-o ♪ ''(he runs off crying)''
705** YMMV, but all the songs are pretty hilarious.
706* Helga uses a slingshot to fling a small piece of paper at Arnold's nose; it causes him to wake up.
707-->'''Arnold:''' Uh... ''(bonk)'' Hey! Cut it out! Who's doing that?
708-->'''Helga:''' Heh, I had to shut you up somehow. You were snoring ''louder'' than the orchestra. ''(kids laugh)''
709* In Helga's dream, Brainy gets backhanded by her after she says, "Hush, my distempered breath."
710* When Helga, dressed as a character from “Music/RideOfTheValkyries”, reveals how she plans to dispose of Ruth:
711-->'''Helga:''' ♪ With my golden magic slingshoooooot ♪\
712'''Stinky:''' (breaking character) Golden magic slingshot?\
713'''Sid:''' Golden magic slingshot?\
714'''Gerald:''' [[LampshadeHanging I thought it was spear and a magic helmet.]]
715* Also Helga's dream has Arnold (Her obvious love interest) fighting ''Curly'' for her affections and Curly's entrance in Helga's dream deserves a mention of it's own altogether
716--> ''(Helga and Arnold finish their dance)''
717--> '''Curly:''' ''Hold it!!''
718--> '''School Girls in Unison:''' ''Curleo, it's Curleo!! (Squeals and all of them faint except one girl who faints shortly after)''
719--> '''Curly:''' *Smug Smile and Raises a Hand* ''Thank you very much!!''
720--> ''(Curly slides down the railing and presents Helga with an assortment of gifts before he starts singing)''
721--> '''Curly:''' ♪''I'm so fii-ii-ine, the girls know I'm di-vi-iine, *takes out mirror* the thing is I'm subli-ii-ime it's really true you kno-oo-ow!! Check out my cuspidoo-or *whips out cuspidor*, I'm wha-aat you're looking foo-or!! Helga, won't you dump this guy and come to my bullfights?! (Rolls down the stairs on his cuspidor and jumps off of it, making it land on Arnold's head)''♪
722--> '''Helga:''' ''Bullfights huh?''
723--> '''Curly:''' ♪''Bullfights and swords rolling in manuu-ure, (''Arnolds gets the cuspidor off of his head and throws it at Curly's head'') I can endu-ure!! (''Arnold gets mad and charges at Curly while he waves his cape in front of him like a bull'') Fiii-iighting bulls is all I want in life, (''Moves out the way making Arnold crash into a flower table'') plus I could use a wiii-iife!! And several pairs of tights (''School girls again faint except for one who faints shortly after'') in several shades of blu-uu-ue!! Helga please say I do-oo-oo (''Presents Helga with an engagement ring'')♪
724--> '''Arnold:''' ''Wait a minute... (''Pulls out a "sword" then notices he still has a flower pot on his head and promptly throws it off'') En garde!!
725--> '''Curly:''' ''(Pulls out a "sword" of his own)'' [[AsLongAsItSoundsForeign Café au lait!!!]]''
726--> ''Arnold and Curly proceed to "fight" for Helga's affections''
727* The "fight" between Arnold and Curly itself is a barrel of laughs, especially its ending.
728--> ''Arnold and Curly arise out of a pile of hay and Arnold proceeds to "stab" Curly.
729--> '''Curly:''' ''(Makes noises of pain and pretends to "die" with his tongue hanging out and Arnold watching with an accomplished and smug smile on his face)
730--> ''Spectators watching the fight proceed to cry''
731--> '''Curly:''' '''(Raises his head back up and Arnold's eyes follow him up with the same accomplished/smug look)''' ''Thank you very much!!'' '''(Pretends to "die" again and Arnold eyes follow him back down with the same accomplished/smug look)'''
732* Helga and Gerald's reaction when they realize Helga is asleep on Gerald's shoulder
733
734!!40 – Arnold's Halloween
735* Grandpa Phil gives a bizarre answer to Arnold when asked if Gerald and him could help out for the boarding house Halloween party.
736-->'''Arnold:''' Hey, grandpa. Can Gerald and I help out this year?
737-->'''Grandpa Phil:''' Oh no, Arnold! Halloween is a ''serious'' business and it's not for kids. ''(rimshot)''
738* Ernie and Mr. Hyunh arguing over who will be Frankenstein's monster[[note]] Not Frankenstein, as both of them say; he was the scientist.[[/note]] for the Halloween party.
739* Helga mouths part of Big Bob's alien encounter story as he is telling it to Harvey and Mr. Green.
740* Big Bob barely looks at Helga's alien Halloween costume and goes back to reading pro football scores in the newspaper.
741-->'''Helga:''' Dad, I ''just'' want you to look at the costume I'm wearing.
742-->'''Big Bob:''' ''(looks up, then back at the newspaper)'' There, I see it. You happy? Oh, how could [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Green_Bay_Packers Green Bay]] win ''again?''
743** (It’s even more hilarious based on the episode’s original airdate.[[note]](The episode presumably takes place on Halloween of 1997.)[[/note]] On October 27, 1997, the Green Bay Packers played in Foxborough, Massachusetts against the New England Patriots at the now-demolished Foxboro Stadium, where they won 28-10.)
744* At the boarding house, Grandpa Phil (dressed as a ghoul) scares the trick-or-treaters with insects instead of candy.
745-->'''Kids:''' Trick or treat.
746-->'''Grandpa Phil:''' Oh, you all look so adorable. Why don't you help yourselves to some ''WORMS AND COCKROACHES?!''
747-->''(The kids scream and run away.)''
748-->'''Grandpa Phil:''' Ha! Happy Halloween!
749* After the lights around the water tower are lit to make it resemble an alien mothership and the whole city starts to go into a panic, Arnold wonders if the radio show he did with Gerald scared anybody.
750* The scream gag from "Downtown as Fruits" is repeated when Stinky inadvertently reveals to Helga that Arnold and Gerald's radio prank lead to her and the others getting chased.
751-->'''Helga:''' '''''ARRNNOOOOOOOOOOOLLDDD!!!!!'''''
752-->''(cut to Arnold, Gerald, and Grandpa Phil in the Packard all the way across town)''
753-->'''Arnold:''' Did you hear something just now, Gerald?
754-->'''Gerald:''' No.
755* Principal Wartz practices a routine for giving himself up to alien rule.
756-->'''Wartz:''' ''(loudly)'' I surrender! Hail conquering heroes from outer space! ''(softly to himself)'' Oh, yeah, that's good. That's good, very good. Make friends right away, good. ''(continuing)'' Please, please don't hurt me, my liege. I come bearing gifts.
757* Big Bob tells Principal Wartz to join his effort to save humans.
758-->'''Big Bob:''' Either you grow a spine pronto and join the ''fight'' for the human race, or I'll send you home to Mrs. Wartz in a chocolate box.
759-->'''Wartz:''' I'm with you all the way. ''(chanting)'' Go, humans, go! Go, humans, go! Fight, fight, fight!
760-->'''Bib Bob:''' Oh, just sit down and shut up.
761* Douglas Cain (voiced by Creator/MauriceLaMarche) reports on the aftermath of the hoax when Big Bob cuts him off.
762-->'''Douglas Cain:''' And as the whole wild affair is exposed as a ridiculous hoax, I can assure you that Douglas Cain...
763-->'''Big Bob:''' ''(interrupting)'' is a ''big, pompous'' windbag. Let's all go home and get some sleep. Whadda ya say?
764[[/folder]]
765
766[[folder:Season 3]]
767!!41A – The Aptitude Test
768* Mr. Simmons hands out the career aptitude tests to the fourth graders. Helga isn't too thrilled about it.
769-->'''Mr. Simmons:''' I took this test when I was your age, and that's when I discovered my lifelong passion for teaching.
770-->'''Helga:''' Criminy, what a throw pillow.
771-->'''Stinky:''' Hope I get the job what comes with a uniform and a big paper hat.
772-->'''Helga:''' Stinky, ''you're'' an idiot.
773* Mr. Simmons doesn't want Harold eating during the test.
774-->'''Mr. Simmons:''' Harold, put your liverwurst sandwich away ''now,'' or I'll be forced to take it away.
775-->'''Harold:''' ''(whining)'' But I'm ''hungry.''
776-->'''Mr. Simmons:''' ''Now,'' Harold! ''(Harold puts the sandwich back into the brown paper bag, folds his arms, frowns, and pouts.)''
777* With a bored facial expression, Harold circles '''"E"''' for all the answers. Then, the clock shows 12:00 P.M. (noon) and the bell rings.
778-->'''Harold:''' Lunch time! Yeah! ''(He hands his test to Mr. Simmons and runs out of the classroom.)''
779* Eugene collects the test results for the other students, and ends up dropping them because of the weight. When picking them up off the floor, he accidentally switches the answer sheets for Harold and Helga.
780* Harold is pushing on a door that says "PULL" when Helga and Phoebe walk by discussing possible aptitude test results for both of them.
781-->'''Helga:''' And Harold here... ''(Harold grunting)'' Harold will become a doorman, if he can ever ''master'' the technique.
782-->''(Harold continues grunting as Helga and Phoebe walk through the right-side door. Helga comes back, pokes him on the shoulder 3 times, points to the "PULL" sign, and leaves.)''
783-->'''Harold:''' ''(pronouncing)'' Pu--ull. Pull. I get it! ''(He pulls the door handle and the door hits his face, knocking him backwards.)'' Ow!
784* The fourth graders in Mr. Simmons' class laugh at Harold for having excellent test results.
785* Helga finds out she has her test result as woods-person and asks if anybody else had the same thing. Brainy responds with, "Uh, I did."
786* Helga uses a stick to hit a pinecone in the park with a golf swing. The pinecone smacks Eugene's head, knocking him down.
787* Harold's parents are proud of his test results, but he's thinking of something else.
788-->'''Jerry:''' It's a bright and ''beautiful'' future, Harold.
789-->'''Harold:''' I ''know,'' there's gonna be ''cake.''
790* Helga tries to catch a rabbit in the park with a carrot using a BoxAndStickTrap. The rabbit makes off with the carrot. Helga places her head under the box and it falls down.
791-->'''Helga:''' ''(echoing)'' 'Tain't so easy as it looks.
792* Helga makes a pinecone look like a turkey.
793-->'''Helga:''' ''([[SarcasmMode sarcastically]])'' This ''really'' helps to pass the time. Oh yeah, the hours just go ''flying'' by when you reduce the scope of your entire world to all the stuff you can make out of a crummy ''pinecone! (She throws the turkey-shaped pinecone into a pile of other ones she made.)''
794* Helga finds out she is smart after all. Helga's glad her poems and diaries weren't thrown away, but then she sees her mom Miriam dumping them into the fireplace and shrieks loudly.
795** Helga's shriek transitions to Harold yelling from finding out he's not as smart as he thought he was.
796--->'''Harold:''' I'm ''dumb'' as a rock! I'm dumb as a ''bag of hammers''!
797--->'''Mr. Simmons:''' No, you still don't understand. You didn't actually ''take'' the test, Harold. You answered every question by filling in '''E:''' "Take a hike in the woods."
798* When Simmons finds out he mixed up Harold and Helga's tests, he cries, [[LargeHam "Oh, my word, I've made a terrible mistake]]! [[SeriousBusiness Innocent children's lives are hanging in the balance!"]]
799
800!!41B – Oskar Gets a Job
801* Suzie Kokoshka arrives home to the boarding house room Oskar and her reside in, carrying groceries. She puts them away while Oskar sits in a recliner, eating from an ice cream bucket. They have a discussion about money.
802-->'''Suzie:''' I ''gave'' you $100 two days ago.
803-->'''Oskar:''' Suzie, you know I had to use it to pay the phone bill.
804-->'''Suzie:''' Oskar, they cut off our phone service this morning.
805-->'''Oskar:''' I know. It's a terrible mistake. We should sue.
806-->'''Suzie:''' Oh, Oskar, that just doesn't make any ''sense.''
807-->'''Oskar:''' Tell me about it. So, can I have the $50?
808-->'''Suzie:''' I ''don't have $50.'' We've already spent my paycheck this week.
809-->'''Oskar:''' ''(grabs a pickle from the refrigerator)'' What about your overtime? ''(eats the pickle)''
810-->'''Suzie:''' I ''work'' 20 hours a week overtime, already. ''How many more hours do you want me to work?!''
811-->'''Oskar:''' [[RhetoricalQuestionBlunder How about 25?]]
812-->'''Suzie:''' ''(madly) OSKAR! (She slams the fridge door shut)''
813* Oskar tell Ernie Potts he loves him and asks for a hug. Then he asks Ernie for money.
814-->'''Oskar:''' Well, you should be more careful next time before you go around judging people. ''(walks away, then comes back)'' Oh, by the way, could I borrow 50 bucks?
815-->'''Ernie:''' ''(angrily)'' You're a ''bum,'' Kokoshka, a ''lousy'' bum! You'll ''never change.''
816-->'''Oskar:''' Yeah, okay, so how about the 50? ''(Ernie slams the door on Oskar)'' Ehhh.
817** After Oskar is denied money from Ernie, he knocks on Mr. Hyunh's door.
818--->'''Oskar:''' Mr. Hyunh, how's my fellow immigrant good buddy, huh? How's it going?
819--->'''Mr. Hyunh:''' ''(strictly)'' You no get--any money from me! ''(wags his left index finger)'' You're no good, Oskar. No good at all! ''(he slams the door)''
820** Grandpa Phil opens his door and sees Oskar. He shouts "Grandpa!" and the door is slammed on Oskar a ''third'' time.
821* Oskar, desperate for money, tries to take quarters from the boarding house washing machines. Arnold sees him doing that and is stopped.
822* Oskar's alarm clock, set for the time of 4:00 A.M. (when he has to deliver the newspapers), goes off. He chucks it out the open bedroom window and it lands in a garbage can, causing a cat to screech.
823* As Arnold delivers newspapers for Oskar's first day, he goes to a house with a small barking dog. The dog chases Arnold out through the gate, but is pulled back by the leash.
824* Arnold does Oskar's job ''again.'' The dog breaks free from the leash and chases Arnold on the sidewalk.
825* Oskar gives Arnold another reason for why he can't deliver newspapers. In response, Arnold tells him off.
826-->'''Arnold:''' That's it! I'm tired of all your excuses.
827-->'''Oskar:''' Arnold, you seem a little cranky. Maybe you should take a nap.
828-->'''Arnold:''' ''Look,'' I only helped you because you said you were desperate. You said you wanted to change. I ''guess'' I was wrong. Mr. Kokoshka, I'm sorry, but you are a ''huge'' loser.
829-->''(Arnold walks upstairs as Oskar stands still, looking dumbfounded.)''
830* Ernie and Mr. Hyunh discuss how ''bad'' Oskar is as a human, then agree to go watch Arnold's grandma use the vacuum cleaner.
831* As Oskar decides to do his job of delivering newspapers, a few things happen to him.
832** '''1.)''' He trips and knocks over the bicycle.
833** '''2.)''' He throws a newspaper into a tree, climbs up the tree to get it back, and falls down.
834** '''3.)''' The dog that chased Arnold bites Oskar in the butt, causing him to run and whimper.
835* Ernie challenges Oskar to do his (Oskar's) job again the next day.
836-->'''Oskar:''' Oh yeah? Well, I show you. I'll do it tomorrow, and maybe even the next day!
837-->'''Ernie:''' I'll bet you 10 bucks you ''don't,'' Kokoshka.
838-->'''Oskar:''' Make it 20; put your money where your mouth is.
839-->'''Ernie:''' 21.
840-->'''Oskar:''' What do you mean 21? Why don't we make it a hundred? '''(FIN)'''
841
842!!42A – Curly Snaps
843* The school bell rings and Arnold has to collect the kickballs.
844-->'''Arnold:''' Okay, recess is over. Let's go, balls in. ''(He gets pelted with kickballs.)''
845* Arnold sees Curly doing nothing in the cafeteria at lunch time.
846-->'''Arnold:''' Curly's acting a little strange today.
847-->'''Gerald:''' Today? He's strange every day.
848* Using the hatch above Principal Wartz's door to his office, Curly makes a reference to Creator/StanleyKubrick's [[Film/TheShining film]] (from 1980) loosely based on Creator/StephenKing's novel called ''Literature/TheShining''.
849-->'''Curly:''' ''[[ShoutOut Heeeere's]]'' [[ShoutOut Curly!]] ''(He hits Principal Wartz in the head with a kickball. Wartz yelps.)'' That's one. One for me and 498 ''to go! (cackles maniacally, accompanied with lightning and thunder)''
850* Curly hits Stinky with a kickball.
851-->'''Stinky:''' Hey! What'd you do ''that'' for?
852* Curly hits Mr. Simmons with a kickball. Principal Wartz states what he will do to solve the conflict.
853-->'''Wartz:''' I'll handle this, Simmons. This boy is obviously disturbed. I'm gonna ram the door, grab the kid, get him in a headlock...
854* Curly demands 2 Yahoo sodas and a meatball sub to be delivered by Arnold. Gerald sarcastically tells him, "Congratulations."
855* Mr. Simmons wants to be sensitive towards the situation with Curly. Principal Wartz believes different.
856-->'''Wartz:''' ''Look,'' we're dealing with a ''dangerous'' element here.
857-->'''Arnold:''' ''It's just'' Curly, Principal Wartz. ''(Eugene walks towards Arnold & stands next to him.)'' And they're just kickballs. They're not dangerous.
858-->''(Via the hatch, Curly smacks Eugene with a kickball.)''
859-->'''Eugene:''' Ow!
860* The ball monitor situation is resolved. Helga gives her reason for what was learned.
861-->'''Mr. Simmons:''' I think we all learned a valueable lesson here today.
862-->'''Helga:''' Yep. Don't ever trust the quiet ones. They'll go bonkers and hole up in the principal's office.
863* Curly starts to walk back to Mr. Simmons' classroom, but Principal Wartz grabs Curly's arm and takes him someplace else.
864-->'''Wartz:''' All right, son. Come with me.
865-->'''Curly:''' Hey! Where are you taking me? I thought we worked it all out! Remember Principal Wartz, ''sensitivity!''
866-->'''Wartz:''' HA! ''I'll'' give you sensitivity. I'll give you a ''week's'' worth of sensitivity ''every day'' after school.
867-->''(They both go inside Wartz's office; the door is locked)''
868-->'''Curly:''' Hey! I'm not supposed to be in detention! Come on, I'll ''die'' if I'm in detention! ''NOOOOO! Come on, I'M THE BALL MONITOR! (barks like a dog)'' '''(FIN)'''
869
870!!42B – Pre-Teen Scream
871* Eugene, Rhonda, and Sheena all drop their letters for the radio contest into the mailbox. This is followed by Principal Wartz doing the same thing.
872-->'''Wartz:''' ''(praying)'' Oh, please, oh please, oh please, let me win this contest. I wrote my best stuff. I really hope this is gonna work out. Amen.
873* At the Civic Auditorium, everyone in the audience is excited to see Ronnie Matthews, except Helga is busy munching on popcorn instead.
874* YMMV for Ronnie Matthews' song "I Saw Your Face and Wow" having cheesy lyrics.
875-->'''Ronnie:''' ♪ I saw your face and WOW! Right then I took a vow. That we'd be together, girl, just you and me. ''That's'' the meaning of eternity.
876-->'''Backup Singers:''' [[note]]This part is said 3 times during the episode.[[/note]] I saw, I saw your face,
877-->'''Ronnie:''' and WOW![[note]]This part is heard during the end credits.[[/note]] I nearly had a cow. And when we're together, babe, it's plain to see. The ''cosmic'' power of our energy. ♪
878* Ronnie Matthews quickly glances over the diner menu, then hands it back it to the waitress.
879-->'''Ronnie:''' I will have the most ''expensive'' thing on this menu. I can do that, you know.
880* Helga's makes a stunned facial expression when Ronnie Matthews reveals the truth to Phoebe and her about him not writing the lyrics or the music to his songs.
881
882!!43A – Stinky Goes Hollywood
883* The auditions at the open casting calls for the Yahoo soda spokesperson are all different.
884-->'''Director:''' Action.
885-->'''Campfire Lass:''' ''(Scottish accent)'' Yahoo soda. Just dr-r-r-r-rink it.
886-->'''Director:''' Next!
887-->'''Rhonda:''' ''(seductively)'' Yahoo soda. Just... drink it.
888-->'''Director:''' Next!
889-->'''Helga:''' ''(bossily)'' Yahoo soda. Just drink it.
890-->'''Director:''' Next!
891-->'''Arnold:''' ''(plainly)'' Yahoo soda. Just drink it.
892-->'''Director:''' Next!
893-->'''Harold:''' Uh... Yahoo soda. ''(microphone feedback shrieks)'' What is it again?
894-->'''Director:''' Number 248.
895-->''(Oskar Kokoshka is dressed in blue overall shorts, a red bow tie, and a blue and white beanie hat. He's also holding a big magenta colored lollipop in his right hand.)''
896-->'''Oskar:''' Drink Yahoo soda, it's really great. I'm telling you it's the best soda, okay?
897-->'''Director:''' How old are you?
898-->'''Oskar:''' I'm 7 years old. I'm a little kid, see?
899-->'''Director:''' Next! ''(Oskar groans)''
900* Stinky hopes he can remember all the words the director wants him to say for the first commercial. Arnold tells him he will be okay.
901-->'''Director:''' ''(through a megaphone)'' All right, people. Let's put one down.
902-->'''Arnold:''' I think that means they're ready to start filming. Break a leg.
903-->'''Stinky:''' [[LiteralMinded Why would I want to do that?]] ''(rimshot)''
904
905!!43B – Olga Gets Engaged
906* Olga announces to Big Bob and Miriam her plans to marry a guy she met, drop out of college, and move to a big city. Her parents are upset, but Helga is giddy about it.
907-->'''Miriam:''' No Olga, don't make the same mistake I made. ''(Bob gives her a surprised look)''
908-->'''Helga:''' ''(enthusiastically)'' Gee, Olga, this is ''great'' news. When can we meet him? ''(she grins evilly)''
909* Olga says she has known Doug Lechat for 3 weeks and 2 days. Big Bob doesn't understand why they need to be married so quickly.
910-->'''Big Bob:''' So then, what's the stinkin' ''rush'' all about? Get married in a ''year,'' if you still want to.
911-->'''Miriam:''' ''(drooly)'' [[AwfulWeddedLife You won't want to]].
912* After discovering Olga's fiancé is a fraud and a liar, Helga [[ImagineSpot envisions]] how miserable Olga's life will be with him as they recite part of Theatre/RomeoAndJuliet at the dinner table.
913* Helga saves her sister from marrying Doug the con-artist. And she is absolutely ''appalled'' that she's doing it.
914-->'''Helga:''' I was so close to getting rid of her! ''So close!''
915
916!!44A – Crabby Author
917* Arnold wants a few words from Agatha Caufield for his favorite writer report.
918-->'''Agatha:''' All right. I'll give you a few words. ''(loudly)'' BEAT IT! SCRAM! VAMOOSE! Stay away from my house ''and'' stay away from me! ''(she slams the front door)''
919* Arnold asks a second question to Agatha when she allows him to talk to her.
920-->'''Arnold:''' Is your writing based on personal experience?
921-->'''Agatha:''' ''(sarcastically)'' Oh, ''sure.'' I spent ''all'' my magic days in a happy little house by a drippy doodle dairy, and it's full of angels and magic genies and ''fairy'' dust, heh. ''(non-sarcastic) HOLY'' CRACKERS! What a stupid question. ''Writers make things up.'' It's all a lot of doo-doo.
922* Grandpa's story about Mr. [[MeaningfulName Hoctooie]]. The cherry on top is Grandpa concluding the story with the moral that some people are grouchy for no reason and that [[SpoofAesop if you get to close to them, they'll spit on you]].
923
924!!44B – Rich Kid
925* Harold laughs as he runs through piles of mud at school.
926-->'''Harold:''' ''(to Lorenzo's mother)'' Look at me! I'm all muddy and I smell! ''(continues laughing)''
927* Lorenzo's cells phone rings and he answers it as Mr. Simmons is talking.
928-->'''Mr. Simmons:''' Uh, Lorenzo, we don't allow phones in this classroom.
929-->'''Lorenzo:''' But, it's a call. I have to take it. ''(other students laugh at him)''
930* Lorenzo panics because his limo driver Peter is running 3 to 3½ minutes late and his personal schedule will be messed up. Arnolds tries to make him calm down.
931-->'''Arnold:''' Wait. Slow down, Lorenzo. You sound like you're 30 years old.
932-->'''Lorenzo:''' Oh, thank you.
933-->'''Arnold:''' No. See, that wasn't a compliment.
934* When playing baseball in the street,[[note]](Which is odd because they could be playing at Gerald Field.)[[/note]] Lorenzo picks up the ball and throws it into a garbage can.
935* Helga, Sid, Stinky, Gerald, Harold, Arnold, and Lorenzo (in that order, left to right) are lying down on the grass in the park, observing the shapes of clouds in the sky. Lorenzo gives a literal answer.
936-->'''Gerald:''' ''(pointing)'' A ''guy'' in a chef's hat.
937-->'''Harold:''' A Mr. Fudgie.
938-->'''Arnold:''' A Scottish terrier.
939-->''({{Beat}})''
940-->'''Lorenzo:''' Rising cumulonimbus formations?
941-->''(Gerald, Harold, and Arnold sit up and look at him.)''
942* At the pier, Lorenzo throws a rock at an (off-screen) boat with glass and the glass breaks. The kids run away while Lorenzo just stands there, forcing Arnold to run back and grab him.
943* The kids get popsicles from the Jolly Olly Man. Harold consumes his frozen treat a certain way.
944-->'''Harold:''' Yeah, I like to eat 'em in ''one'' bite. ''(chomps down the whole popsicle and is startled)'' Ahh! Ahh! Brain freeze! I hate this! ''(his friends laugh as he gets up and starts running)'' Ahh, it hurts! Mommy!
945* At the dump, Harold walks across a pipe hovering over a big mud pile.
946-->'''Harold:''' ''(taunting)'' Come on, ya big bunch of wussy ''babies! (He laughs, then loses his balance)'' Oh, whoa, whoa! ''(kids laugh)''
947
948!!45A – Helga Blabs It All
949* Under the influence of laughing gas, Helga spins around in the dentist's chair several times and crashes to the floor.
950* Still influenced by laughing gas, Helga leaves a message for Arnold (regarding how she loves him) on the answering machine at the boarding house. The gas wears off. Helga, realizing what she's done as people are laughing at her, shrieks loudly. Cut to Arnold and Gerald walking towards the boarding house.
951-->'''Arnold:''' Did you hear something just now?
952-->'''Gerald:''' No.
953* Arnold opens the boarding house's front door. The animals run out and knock over the TabletopGame/{{checkers}} game Grandpa Phil and Oskar Kokoshka were playing.
954* Helga decides to sneak into the boarding house by stealing the Campfire Lass' uniform.
955* Mr. Hyunh wants to know what Helga is doing with the boarding house's main floor telephone.
956-->'''Helga:''' ''(stammers)'' Oh, I was just checking to see if it's working correctly. I-I'm an intern at public phone school.
957-->'''Mr. Hyunh:''' Public phone school? What a ''crazy'' town!
958* Helga sums up her situation quite nicely when half her class ends up in the boarding house.
959-->'''Helga:''' Why doesn't everyone I know just show up so they can spend the rest of their lives in this hallway?!
960* Stuck in an air vent as Arnold and his friends occupy the hallway, Helga calls for help with a cell phone.
961-->'''Helga:''' Phoebe, it's Helga. Listen, this is the mother of all emergencies, so what I'm about to ask you, you should just do. And don't ask me why and don't say you're really not the kind of person that can actually do something like this and ''just do it!'' 'Kay?\
962'''Caesar:''' ''(angrily)'' I don't know what you're talking about! STOP CALLING ME! ''(hangs up, dial tone)''\
963'''Helga:''' Sorry.
964* Helga luring the campfire lass into an alley under the pretense of aiding her only for a [[FightUnscene big]] [[NoHoldsBarredBeatdown fight]] to ensue so Helga can steal the outfit in the first place.
965-->'''Helga:''' Step into my office. [Leads her into an alley and offscreen]
966--> '''Campfire Lass:''' Funny place for an office. ''([[HellIsThatNoise clanging sounds are heard and a trashcan is thrown across the screen]])'' Unhand me!
967* Phoebe bribes the Jolly Olly Man to park in front of the boarding house and give away ice cream for free to the boys.
968-->'''Harold:''' Hey! That sounds like the Jolly Olly Man!
969-->'''Curly:''' He should be all the way across ''town'' at this hour. What a bizarre turn of events. ''(the boys go outside and get ice cream)''
970* Grandma Gertie tells Arnold about the message for him on the answering machine.
971-->'''Grandma Gertie:''' Oh, yes, here it is. ''Helen of Troy.'' Yes, and Miss Troy wanted to tell you that she was selling a kind of passion fruit drink or something.
972-->'''Arnold:''' Huh?
973-->'''Gerald:''' Huh?
974-->'''Grandma Gertie:''' You know, I really don't ''like'' telephone solicitations. ''Why'' would you want to buy a soft drink ''over the phone,'' I ask ya? And you know, they always seem to call ''right'' at dinnertime.
975-->''(Arnold and Gerald both shrug and run up to Arnold's bedroom.)''
976* The boys are shocked to see Helga enter Arnold's bedroom covered in dust via the retractable sofa. She quietly leaves with the answering machine tape.
977-->'''Arnold:''' So, about the go-cart... ''(conversation resumes)''
978* [[BrickJoke The Campfire Lass and her friends chase Helga for stealing the uniform.]] '''(FIN)'''
979
980!!45B – Harold the Butcher
981* Mr. Green catches Harold with the stolen ham. Harold says he did it because he was really, really hungry.
982-->'''Mr. Green:''' ''(madly)'' That doesn't give you the right to steal from people. ''You understand that?!''\
983'''Harold:''' ''(bawling)'' NOOOOO! ''(runs away)'' MOMMY!\
984'''Mr. Green:''' ''(to Arnold and Sid)'' I'm going to have to call his mommy.
985* Harold stacks too many boxes of giblets on a moving cart. The boxes fall over and open.
986-->'''Mr. Green:''' ''(frustrated) OH,'' for the love of Pete! ''NOW'' they're all dirty! Well, shovel 'em up and throw 'em out, Harold. An ounce of help, a pound of trouble.
987** This is followed by Harold not knowing to keep sausage links away from the floor.
988--->'''Harold:''' Ehh, where do you want these?\
989'''Mr. Green:''' ''(furious)'' NO, NO, ''DON'T'' let 'em drag on the floor like that! ''PICK 'EM UP!''\
990''(Harold slips on them, yelping)''\
991'''Harold:''' ''(bawling)'' Ahh! Ahh! Ahh! Help me! Ah, Ah! Mommy!\
992''(Mr. Green {{facepalm}}s)''
993* Harold stacks cans of foie gras in a weird way. They fall down.
994* Harold gives a stunned facial expression when Mr. Green tells him he has worked in the butcher shop a whole week and is no longer needed to help.
995
996!!46A – Arnold Betrays Iggy[[note]]An episode that is hated by many people, funny moments are not really prevalent but there are a few.[[/note]]
997* Eugene trips getting off the bus when it stops at P.S. 118.
998* Helga's taunts towards Iggy.
999* Sid randomly guesses exactly what Iggy was wearing, causing Arnold to stop.
1000-->'''Sid:''' Well, come on. How bad could it be? I mean, it wasn't like he was wearing ''bunny'' pajamas or something?
1001
1002!!46B – Helga and the Nanny
1003* Helga finds out a nanny was hired by her dad.
1004-->'''Helga:''' ''(spits out her doughnut)'' A ''nanny?'' Ha! I don't need a ''nanny.'' I can take care of myself.
1005-->'''Big Bob:''' Baloney. You're only ''7.''
1006-->'''Helga:''' I'm ''9,'' dad.
1007* Inge Perlmutter introduces herself to Helga and Miriam.
1008-->'''Inge:''' Good morning, everyone. I'm Inge. ''Oh,'' and you must be Helga.
1009-->'''Helga:''' No, she's Helga, and ''I'm'' Toulouse-Lautrec.
1010* Inge doesn't believe Helga looks proper for going to school.
1011-->'''Helga:''' Hey lady, this is ''how'' I look ''every'' day. I am ''not'' going to school looking like some kind of starched and pressed wind-up doll.
1012-->''(Cut to P.S. 118)''
1013-->'''Stinky:''' Why, ''Helga.'' You look just like the girl on the box of ''hot'' chocolate.
1014-->'''Helga:''' ''(bossily)'' Aw, put a ''sock'' in it, ''Stinky!'' You think I don't know that?
1015* After Arnold tells Helga the flowers in her hair look nice, her voice trembles. Brainy walks up behind Helga with his nasal breathing and she backhands him.
1016* Helga tells Phoebe over the phone how her dad will hate the foreign food Inge made for dinner. Turns out, [[GilliganCut Big Bob ends up loving it instead.]]
1017* When leaving the dinner table, Inge forces Helga to curtsy for her father. She does that, then waves her arms in a forward motion sarcastically proclaiming, "''All hail'' the Beeper King!" [[ActuallyPrettyFunny Though Bob seemed amused by this if anything.]]
1018* Helga tries to get Inge in trouble by putting wood glue on Big Bob's living room chair, burning dinner in the oven, and putting her mom's antique tablecloth through the "Heavy Duty" cycle of the washing machine. All 3 times Inge solves the problem, much to Helga's frustration.
1019
1020!!47A – Dangerous Lumber
1021* When the kids are playing baseball, Arnold smacks a line drive that nails Harold in the gut. All the kids gather around him to see if he's okay:
1022-->'''Gerald:''' Say something, Big Boy!\
1023'''Harold:''' (''woozily'') Easy squeazy lemon peasy.\
1024'''Helga:''' (''nonchalantly calling someone offscreen'') Medic!
1025* Later on, Arnold tries bunting the ball to make sure he doesn't hit someone. It pops up and Gerald, Stinky, Sheena, and Curly all run towards the mound to catch it. They all bump into Harold and get knocked out cold, then the ball proceeds to bounce off each of their faces.
1026* Eugene was beaned with a baseball by Arnold. He rides by Arnold and Gerald on his bike and says [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8VXtRxC07co "Oh, what a pretty sign."]] Arnold tries to warn him that it's a stop sign, but he falls down a manhole.
1027* Arnold stops at Mickey Kaline's new hot dog restaurant. Mickey sees that Arnold is down in the dumps.
1028-->'''Mickey:''' Is it the hot dog?\
1029'''Arnold:''' No.\
1030'''Mickey:''' It's not the hot dog, guys!\
1031(''applause offscreen'')
1032* Arnold hits a home run ball to win his team's game. Unbeknownst to him, it lands on Mickey Kaline's head. A little boy asks Mickey if he's okay, and he also responds with, "[[StrangeMindsThinkAlike Easy squeazy lemon peasy]]."
1033* When Arnold hits his homerun, the ball busts through a large sign that reads Holywood Cow Farm. The ball busts out the "Wood" and "Farm" writing leaving the sign to say Holy Cow.
1034
1035!!47B – Mr. Hyunh Goes Country
1036* Harold jamming to Mr. Hyun's song in the bathtub.
1037
1038!!48A – Arnold's Room
1039* When bouncing on a trampoline in Lorenz's bedroom, Sid crashes a remote-controlled helicopter into a model train rolling along an elevated track going around the room's perimeter.
1040* Sid startles Arnold at lunch in school; Arnold spills milk all over himself.
1041* Sid doesn't know what the remote in Arnold's bedroom does for the features in there. By pressing random buttons, he blasts heavy metal music, surfs different radio channels, rearranges the ceiling light fixtures, makes Arnold's alarm clock go off, and moves the retractable sofa back into the wall with him on it.
1042-->'''Sid:''' Wanna ride the couch?
1043* Arnold lets Sid borrows his room again, but Sid stills wants Arnold gone.
1044-->'''Sid:''' ''NO!'' You're out of the room, ''that's'' the plan. I mean, you should go out. Take an hour to clear your head. You've been working too hard. I know! ''Take'' in a movie. My treat. ''(hands Arnold money)'' Go on, have popcorn. ''Shoo!''
1045* Sid rearranges Arnold's room again when Grandpa Phil knocks on the door with Lorenzo next to him.
1046-->'''Grandpa Phil:''' Your friend Loredo's here.
1047-->'''Sid:''' Oh, thanks.
1048-->'''Grandpa Phil:''' How'd you get rid of Arnold? Bribe him?
1049-->'''Sid:''' ''(stammers)'' Grandpa, I don't know what you're talking about.
1050-->'''Grandpa Phil:''' ''Grandpa?'' Wh- now, wait a minute. What's your name again?
1051-->'''Sid:''' ''(to Lorenzo)'' He likes to joke. ''(ushers Grandpa Phil out of the room)''
1052-->'''Grandpa Phil:''' Eeeeehhh, well, don't mess anything up in this room or the short- ''(Sid shuts the door)'' man will have your head.
1053-->'''Lorenzo:''' ''Who's'' the short man?
1054-->'''Sid:''' Oh, um, he's referring to an imaginary leprechaun.
1055* Sid has Lorenzo leave Arnold's room by using the roof.
1056-->'''Lorenzo:''' This is a pretty weird place.
1057* As soon as Lorenzo and Sid go to the boarding house to get a CD they left behind, Grandpa Phil is immediately waiting for them, opening the door without them knocking.
1058-->'''Grandpa Phil:''' Oh, it's the "I promise I swear never again" kid. Well, go on up. Arnold's in his room
1059-->'''Sid:''' ''(laughing)'' Oh, grandpa.
1060-->'''Grandpa Phil:''' ''(scratches his head)'' Kid thinks I'm his grandpa.
1061
1062!!48B – Helga vs. Big Patty
1063* Helga's nightmare has her facing off against Patty in a boxing ring. Helga is much shorter and gets punched easily.
1064* Arnold tells Helga she should talk to Patty about what she said was based on herself not being fair. He then suggests Helga should be Patty's friend.
1065-->'''Helga:''' Arnold, are you forgetting something? ''(shouts)'' SHE ''HATES'' ME! She wants to beat the stuffing out of me! Tear me limb from limb!
1066* Stinky gives a reason for why the (alleged) fight took place inside and ''not'' on the playground.
1067-->'''Stinky:''' I reckon Big Patty figured it was too dang ''violent'' for us kids to watch.
1068
1069!!49A – Career Day
1070* The Jolly Olly Man stops his ice cream truck on the road for Peapod. Peapod asks for a snow cone. Arnold tries to help, but the Jolly Olly Man doesn't want him doing anything. After taking the money Peapod gave to Arnold away from Arnold, the Jolly Olly Man gets out of the back of the ice cream truck, climbs into the cab, and drives away with the tires screeching, leaving Peapod with nothing.
1071-->'''Peapod:''' Wait, ''where's'' my snow cone?
1072* The Jolly Olly Man is busy dealing with kids in the park who want ice cream. Amongst all the shouting by the kids, he throws a pink popsicle which lands on the ground in front of a boy.
1073-->'''Boy:''' ''Hey,'' you gave me strawberry. I wanted chocolate.
1074-->'''Jolly Olly Man:''' We're outta chocolate. Take it or leave it, kid. Now which one of you munchkins wanted ''Italian ice?''
1075-->'''Boy with Glasses:''' Me, me! ''(holds up a $10 bill)''
1076-->'''Jolly Olly Man:''' YOU MUST BE ''KIDDING,'' JUNIOR! YOU GOTTA HAVE SOMETHING SMALLER THAN A 10! ''(He throws the money back, hitting the boy's face, then talks to Arnold.) YOU! (Arnold looks up)'' Put this back in the freezer. ''(he throws Arnold the Italian ice container)''
1077-->'''Arnold:''' But...
1078-->'''Jolly Olly Man:''' ''(yelling) BUT'' NOTHING! I make the rules around here. ''I run'' the ''show. (he gets out of the back)'' Okay, let's go. ''(shuts the door)''
1079-->''(Kids are shouting as they chase the ice cream truck which still has its right side doors open.)''
1080-->'''Arnold:''' ''Hey,'' stop the truck. Some kids are trying to catch up.
1081-->'''Jolly Olly Man:''' Is ''that'' so? ''(He stops driving; the kids catch up. The Jolly Olly Man then shifts gears and drives away with the tires screeching again, laughing menacingly.)''
1082* Helga talks to Vic and Morrie plus 2 other guys who are arrested for robbing a bank and are sitting in the back of a police truck.
1083-->'''Helga:''' Hope you boys like ''prison'' food, 'cause you'll be getting a lot of it. Ha ha ha! ''(she shuts the door)''
1084* Arnold is shocked to hear the Jolly Olly Man's dad is going to fire him if his ice cream truck supply isn't gone by 6:00 P.M.
1085-->'''Jolly Olly Man:''' You don't know the half of it. ''57'' jobs and I've been ''fired'' from every one of 'em. ''(sobbing) WHY, why, why?!''
1086-->''(He bangs his head on the left rear side of the ice cream truck each time he says "Why," leaving a big dent.)''
1087-->'''Jolly Olly Man:''' ''(moaning) AWWW, GREAT!'' That's gonna come outta my salary.
1088* Arnold helps the Jolly Olly Man be more polite to customers buying ice cream.
1089-->'''Arnold:''' ''(voiceover)'' Treat your customers with respect. Always say "please" and "thank you."
1090-->'''Jolly Olly Man:''' ''Please'' take your crummy change and ''thanks'' for nothin'. ''(scene cut)''
1091-->'''Arnold:''' ''(voiceover)'' A positive attitude makes a big difference. Give your customers a friendly smile.
1092-->''(The Jolly Olly Man adjusts his face into a SlasherSmile, which makes 3 kids gasp and run away screaming.)''
1093* The Jolly Olly Man believes his progress with Arnold means the ice cream supply in the truck is almost gone. He finds out that's not true.
1094-->'''Jolly Olly Man:''' ''(loudly)'' WE'VE BEEN SELLING OUR BRAINS OUT AND WE STILL GOT ''HALF A FREEZER FULL OF ICE CREAM?! AWWW...'' WE'LL NEVER GET RID OF ALL THIS BY SUNDOWN.
1095
1096!!49B – Hey Harold!
1097* Helga backhands Brainy after her soliloquy amongst herself at Rhonda's party.
1098* Sid once again tries to flirt with Ruth, only for her to walk away annoyed.
1099
1100!!50A – Casa Paradiso
1101* Grandpa Phil complains about how the boarding house is always falling apart. Then Mr. Hyunh, Ernie Potts, and Oskar Kokoshka walk into the family room and give their complaints to Arnold and him.
1102-->'''Mr. Hyunh:''' Grandpa, you need to fix the toilet. It ''stinks'' very badly upstairs!
1103-->'''Ernie:''' Hey gramps, some kid threw a ball through my window, and I want it fixed ''pronto,'' old man!
1104-->'''Oskar:''' ''(partially overlapping Ernie's dialogue)'' Grandpa, the floor is covered with bugs. When are you going to spray and kill these vermits?
1105-->'''Grandpa Phil:''' ''(loudly) STOP yellin''' and making a fuss, will ya?! I'll fix everything and ''kill'' the bugs when I get done doin' all the ''other junk'' I have to do around this broken down dump!
1106-->'''Ernie:''' What about my busted window? That's not gonna go away!
1107-->'''Oskar:''' These horrible bugs will take over the whole house.
1108-->'''Mr. Hyunh:''' When are you going to ''fix'' the toilet, Grandpa?!
1109-->'''Ernie:''' ''Ix-nay'' on the toilet tay! ''(Grandpa Phil covers his ears as they argue)''
1110** More complaining goes on at dinnertime, as rain water drips from the ceiling into the dining room.
1111--->'''Mr. Hyunh:''' The wallpaper in my room is ''peeling again.''
1112--->'''Ernie:''' So fix it yourself. You keep tellin' us how ''handy'' you are.
1113--->'''Oskar:''' ''(his stomach growls)'' Oh Suzie, I have a cramp in my stomach from this terrible food.
1114--->'''Ernie:''' Put a ''sock in it,'' Kokoshka! Everyday it's ''(mocking)'' "Oh ''Suzie,'' I got a ''cramp'' in my ''stomach.''" ''(normal)'' All you do is ''sit around'' and complain. ''(spits out his soup)'' [[JerkAssHasAPoint Ugh! Can't we get any decent grub in this house]]?!
1115--->'''Mr. Hyunh:''' What about my wallpaper?
1116--->'''Ernie:''' All right with the wallpaper, Hyunh...
1117* In an attempt to change Grandpa Phil's mind about selling the boarding house, Arnold tells his grandpa what he is going to do with Ernie, Mr. Hyunh, and Oskar. They're going to fix Ernie's window and put up new wallpaper in Mr. Hyunh's room.
1118-->'''Grandpa Phil:''' ''(exaggerating)'' Oh, ''I'' see. Oh, that's ''very nice.'' You're all being ''polite'' and ''courteous'' and ''helpful.'' Almost like you care about each other. ''(he turns around, starts speaking seriously, and they gasp)'' [[SuddenlyShouting WELL I DON'T BUY your act]] for a ''second,'' ya bunch of fakers! Come tomorrow, I'm ''signin''' the contract and sellin' the boarding house, ''once'' and for all! Put ''that'' in your ''pipe'' and ''smoke'' it!
1119* Suzie Kokoshka shows Grandpa Phil a slideshow.
1120-->'''Suzie:''' This is the first day Oskar and I moved into the boarding house. ''(Tne slide shows newlyweds Oskar and Susie moving in and Susie is the one carrying Oskar in a BridalCarry.)'' See how happy we were?
1121-->'''Ernie:''' That ''didn't'' last, did it?
1122-->'''Arnold:''' ''(frowning)'' Shh!
1123* Grandpa Phil is mad Arnold doesn't want to leave for Casa Paradiso and chooses to stay with the boarding house residents.
1124-->'''Arnold:''' Don't you want to be a part of this family, grandpa?
1125-->''(Grandma Gertie walks up behind Grandpa Phil playing a ukulele.)''
1126-->'''Grandma Gertie:''' Home ''is'' where the family is, Phil.
1127-->'''Grandpa Phil:''' ''(flabbergasted)'' What the-? Where'd ''you'' come from all of a sudden?! Now ''you're'' gonna make sense, is that it?! ''(sarcastic)'' Oh, great timing, Pookie.
1128
1129!!50B – Gerald's Tonsils
1130* Gerald tells Harvey that nothing is going to happen to his (Gerald's) voice. Then, there's a cut to Gerald getting his throat inspected at Dr. Steig's office.
1131* Arnold, Harold, Helga, and Sid are visiting Gerald in the hospital. Harold asks if Gerald is going to eat a big bowl of ice cream. Gerald shakes his head no and Harold gladly gobbles it down.
1132* In his bedroom, Gerald is practicing scales trying to make his voice sound better. A hobo on the street becomes very annoyed.
1133-->'''Hobo:''' ''(yelling) QUIET! (he throws a tomato at the window)'' I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! ''(Gerald's dad Martin opens the door)''
1134-->'''Martin:''' Whoever that is, he's ''right,'' Gerald! Go to sleep, ''okay?!''
1135* Gerald practices singing "Figaro" on a bridge which crosses a river. A kid rides by on a bicycle, [[HypocriticalHumor laughs at Gerald's "crazy" voice when he has one himself,]] and [[OffscreenCrash crashes offscreen.]]
1136* Stinky was giving grief to Gerald about his voice being different ever since the tonsillectomy. After Gerald performs marvelously for his "Moonlight Bay" solo, Stinky tells Gerald how he always had faith in him and Gerald shoves Stinky into a garbage can.
1137
1138!!51A – Phoebe Takes the Fall
1139* Phoebe lets Helga win the individual trivia contest, so Helga gets to compete in the All-City Academic Competition. Therefore, Helga has to study for the contest, but she will need some help.
1140-->'''Helga:''' Well, now all I gotta do is memorize the big book of contest questions and answers so I win the big contest next week. ''(she sits down at a desk in her bedroom)'' This'll be a snap.
1141-->'''Big Bob:''' ''(from the hallway)'' If you need any help, just holler. We can wake your mother up.
1142-->'''Helga:''' ''(sarcastically)'' Yeah, like I really need anyone's help. ''(She opens the book and sees complex math equations. Helga blankly stares at the pages, then there's a GilliganCut to her knocking on Phoebe's front door.)'' Phoebe, I need your help.
1143* Phoebe falls asleep getting yogurt from the yogurt dispenser in the school cafeteria.
1144
1145!!51B – The Pig War
1146* Stinky asks Grandpa Phil what Pig War Day is.
1147-->'''Stinky:''' What's Pig War Day?
1148-->'''Grandpa Phil:''' Only the infamous day when our fair city won its independence from those ''treacherous Redcoats.''
1149-->'''Sid:''' Who are the Redcoats?
1150-->'''Grandpa Phil:''' The ''British!''
1151-->'''Sid:''' Oh, of course the British, yeah. -- Who are the British?
1152-->'''Grandpa Phil:''' What do they teach you kids in school nowadays?
1153* Grandpa Phil explains the history of the Pig War to Arnold and his friends. The kids ask what happened when the war broke out and he responds, "''WE WON,'' ya ninnies!"
1154* For the reenactment, British team members are all wearing period appropriate attire. On the other hand, the Americans [[GroupCostumeFail wear a wide assortment of inappropriate costumes]] (ex. Stinky wears a Confederate solder's uniform, Sid is dressed like UsefulNotes/DavyCrockett, and Harold looks like Franchise/{{Rambo}}).
1155* The 2 teams representing the Americans and the British meet at Elk Island.
1156-->'''Rex Smythe-Higgins I:''' You're late, ''as'' usual.
1157-->'''Grandpa Phil:''' ''Why,'' it's my arch-nemesis, ''Rex Smythe-Higgins.''
1158-->'''Arnold:''' And his grandson, Rex III.[[note]](the third)[[/note]]
1159-->'''RSH I:''' And I believe by the rules in the Pig War charter, that gives ''us'' the right of first insult. Your costumes are atrocious.
1160-->'''Rex Smythe-Higgins III:''' And your so-called ''pig'' looks malnourished. What do you feed the little ''runt?''
1161-->'''Arnold:''' ''(angrily)'' Hey! ''(Gerald holds him back; Rex III laughs)''
1162-->'''Grandpa Phil:''' Hey-ey, easy, man. This is the customary ''exchange'' of insults. However, that was ''2'' insults! According to the charter, that means we get 2 insults as well.
1163-->'''Gerald:''' You walk like you got an umbrella in your pants. ''(weird rimshot)''
1164-->'''RSH I:''' Was that an insult?
1165-->'''British Kid:''' ''(Liverpool accent)'' Aye, sir. I must have caught it. Yes, sir.
1166-->'''RSH I:''' Hmm, very well, that's one.
1167-->'''Grandpa Phil:''' ''And,'' you couldn't catch this pig if your life depended on it, ya broken-down old fossil! ''(American side kids agreeing)''
1168* As the kids begin to chase Abner through the Elk Island forest, Rex Smythe-Higgins I is stopped by a low tree branch.
1169-->'''RSH I:''' Oh, curses! You there, minion. Cut short this ''foul'' hemlock which hath so offended me.
1170-->'''British Kid:''' ''(Liverpool accent)'' Sorry, govnah. I don't understand when you talk all fancy like that.
1171-->'''RSH I:''' Chop down the ''bloody'' tree, you idiot!
1172** The fact that he wanted to ''chop down the whole tree'' rather than either going around it or just cutting off the branch.
1173** And the fact that Rex Smythe-Higgins I actually said the word "bloody," [[ForeignCussWord a cuss word in Britain.]] It's like the casting team of this show really wanted [[WesternAnimation/TheHunchbackOfNotreDameDisney Frollo]] to use a swear word, and now that we've heard it, we don't blame them!
1174* Arnold demands Rex Smythe-Higgins III to give Abner back to him. He administers something else to Arnold instead.
1175-->'''Arnold:''' I'm serious, Rex. Give me the pig!
1176-->'''RSH III:''' What I'll ''give'' you is a volley of rotten pomegranates and old cabbages. Here. ''(to his team members)'' You may fire when ready.
1177-->''(Arnold gasps as Rex III and his friends pelt Arnold with food while laughing and jeering.)''
1178%% Note, the GenreSavvy example has been discussed and it does fit the criteria for the trope.
1179* The American team decides to sneak their way into Fort Porcero by constructing a wooden pig on wheels and hiding inside, similar to the TrojanHorse.
1180-->'''RSH I:''' Why in ''blazes'' did you wake me?
1181-->'''RSH III:''' They seem to be ''surrendering,'' grandfather. They brought a gift, look.
1182-->'''RSH I:''' Hmm, some kind of pig; clever that. ''(shouts)'' Halt! Who goes there?
1183-->'''Grandpa Phil:''' ''(mutters)'' Ehh, who do you think, prune face? ''(yelling) It's'' the Americans!
1184-->'''RSH I:''' Well, what do you want?
1185-->'''Grandpa Phil:''' ''(exaggerating)'' We realize that we can't ''possibly'' win, and offer this gift as a token of our esteem to your ''vast'' superiority.
1186-->'''RSH I:''' Oh, this is indeed sweet. Savor this, Rex [III]. The moment when your enemy comes to grovel. ''(shouts)'' Open the gate!
1187-->'''British Kid:''' ''(Liverpool accent)'' Uh, sir, there's a uh, [[UsefulNotes/TheTrojanWar historical precedent to this]], [[GenreSavvy and I think we should consider]]...
1188-->'''RSH I:''' Your job is not to consider. Your job is to blow the hunting horn. Is that clear? Open the gate.
1189-->'''British Kid:''' ''(Liverpool accent)'' Aye, sir. ''(He pulls the lever to make the gate open.)''
1190-->''(Grandpa Phil walks in, dragging the wooden pig.)''
1191-->'''Arnold:''' ''(inside the wooden pig)'' Ready?
1192-->''(The kids break out, yelling war cries. The British Kid extends his arms and hands out, as if to tell Rex Smythe-Higgins I "See? I tried to warn you.")''
1193** Rex's expression afterward.
1194
1195!!52A – Best Man
1196* Arnold, Helga, and Stinky are discussing the baseball game they just played with their other friends.
1197-->'''Helga:''' Why'd you have to ''bunt,'' Arnold? Wolfgang threw you a cream puff. You coulda knocked it outta the park.
1198-->'''Stinky:''' I reckon it was the right play, Helga. Iggy was on third. He was the go-ahead run.
1199-->'''Arnold:''' Sometimes you have to make a sacrifice so the team can win.
1200-->'''Helga:''' Well, that's a great theory, ''football'' head. Except for one thing: ''(shouts)'' We ''LOST!''
1201* "Coach" Jack Wittenberg (voiced by Creator/JamesBelushi) tells Arnold he is re-marrying his wife Tish for a second time on Saturday. He wants Arnold to be his Best Man. Arnold asks him why.
1202-->'''Jack:''' Well, a guy's Best Man is supposed to be his best friend, right? When I made a list of all my friends, I came to ''one'' conclusion.
1203-->'''Arnold:''' What's that?
1204-->'''Jack:''' I don't have any. Except you, Arnie.
1205* Tish Wittenberg informs Helga about Arnold being Jack's Best Man. Helga then has an [[ImagineSpot imagine spot]] of her marrying Arnold, accompanied with joyful organ music.
1206-->'''Minister:''' Do you, Helga, take Arnold as your lawfully wedded husband?
1207-->'''Helga:''' I do. I do. I do! ''Oh, I do!''
1208-->'''Tish:''' You do what? ''(RecordNeedleScratch)''
1209-->'''Helga:''' Huh?
1210-->'''Tish:''' Why are you screaming, "I do, I do."?
1211-->'''Helga:''' ''(slowly)'' Um, because I ''do'' agree to be your Maid of Honor. ''(she giggles nervously)''
1212* At Tux-R-Us (a tuxedo rental place), Arnold, Gerald, Sid, and Stinky are wearing tuxedos needed for the wedding, making sure they fit properly.
1213-->'''Sid:''' We look like undertakers.
1214-->'''Stinky:''' ''(in front of a tall mirror)'' I ''like'' it. I reckon I'm gonna keep it over a couple extra days, and wear it to school on Monday.
1215-->'''Sid:''' Stinky, you're a weird kid.
1216-->'''Stinky:''' I know, but I look ''snazzy. (Cut to Helga in a bridal shop wearing a big pink dress with white lace)''
1217-->'''Helga:''' I look like a moron.
1218* Helga tells Tish how she hates mushy stuff related to feeling goofy inside for some guy and that she will never get married. Then she stands in front of the mirror and goes back to her vision of marrying Arnold, with more organ music.
1219-->'''Helga:''' I do. I do, I do. ''I do, I do!''
1220-->'''Tish:''' Do what? ''(RecordNeedleScratch)'' Why are you screaming, "I do, I do."?
1221-->'''Helga:''' ''(slowly)'' Because I do really love this dress. ''(she giggles nervously again)''
1222* Inside a jewelry shop, Arnold is helping Jack pick out a wedding ring for Tish.
1223-->'''Jack:''' ''That's the one. (pointing)'' The one with the real ''big'' diamond.
1224-->'''Arnold:''' It's $6,000.
1225-->'''Jack:''' Uh, I meant the one ne-next to it with the real small cubic zirconium.
1226-->'''Arnold:''' That's $450.
1227-->''(Jack sweats and groans. Then there's a cut to him standing outside a candy store next to a gumball machine with rings inside.)''
1228-->'''Jack:''' ''This'' is the one. ''(inserts a quarter and gets a ring)''
1229-->'''Arnold:''' ''(deadpan)'' That's 25 cents, coach.
1230-->'''Jack:''' ''Perfect!'' Tish'll love it.
1231* Jack and Tish challenge each other in competition. The montage includes eating food, arm wrestling, thumb wrestling, paper football field goals, flinging cherries into glasses of water with a spoon, and jump-rope jumping.
1232* Helga catches the bouquet thrown by Tish. She smiles thinking about Arnold, swoons, and falls to the floor of the church.
1233-->'''Arnold:''' ''(lifts Helga up)'' Helga, are you all right?
1234-->'''Helga:''' ''(dreamily)'' I do, I do. I do, oh, I do... ''(opens her eyes) not'' want you to ever touch me again, football head!
1235-->'''Arnold:''' Uh, okay. ''(he drops her)''
1236
1237!!52B – Cool Party
1238* Phoebe gives the definition of "geek" to the other kids who weren't invited to Rhonda's cool party. They have a conversation about it.
1239-->'''Phoebe:''' Oliver's dictionary of American slang defines geek as a circus performer whose job is to bite the head off a live chicken for the audience's amusement.
1240-->'''Harold:''' ''(disgusted)'' Bite the head off a ''chicken?''
1241-->'''Eugene:''' Well, that's totally unfair. None of us bite off chicken heads -- except Curly.
1242-->'''Curly:''' Yeah! And that was just the one time! ''(kids all agree)''
1243-->'''Sid:''' I'm actually kinda mad about this geek list, you know?
1244-->'''Eugene:''' It hurts when this kind of thing happens.
1245-->'''Harold:''' ''Yeah!'' We got ''(shoves Eugene away, he yelps)'' feelings, too. I bet Rhonda thinks I'm a geek because I'm ''[[LargeHam FAT AND LOUD AND OBNOXIOUS!]]''
1246-->'''Curly:''' And I'll be she thinks I'm a geek 'cause my dad cuts my hair with a bowl!
1247-->'''Sid:''' I bet she thinks I'm a geek because of my [[GagNose huge nose.]]
1248-->'''Stinky:''' It's not ''that'' huge, Sid.
1249-->'''Sid:''' Thanks, Stinky. But you're just saying that because you have the biggest honker in the whole city -- no offense.
1250-->'''Stinky:''' None taken.
1251* After Arnold leaves Rhonda's cool party, he meets up with Gerald. Gerald tells Arnold that he lied about having plans that night, then offers a suggestion of what to do next.
1252-->'''Gerald:''' You wanna go throw rocks at Helga throwing rocks at a dumpster?
1253-->'''Arnold:''' Sure.
1254* The group thinks of ways to get back at Rhonda. Curly offers a completely bizarre suggestion.
1255-->'''Harold:''' I say we all go over and crash Rhonda's party and eat all of her food! ''(kids shout "Yeah!")''
1256-->'''Helga:''' Well, ''I'' say we get a carload of ''horse'' manure and leave it on her porch! ''(kids shout "Yeah!" again)''
1257-->'''Curly:''' I say we paint ourselves with tiger stripes, and go free all the animals at the zoo!
1258-->''(Arnold, Gerald, Helga, Stinky, Harold and Eugene all stare at him)''
1259-->'''Helga:''' [[SarcasmMode Fine, Curly. We'll meet you there in an hour.]]
1260-->'''Curly:''' Hooray! ''(he laughs maniacally and runs away)''
1261-->'''Helga:''' Poor twisted little freak.
1262* Park and Peapod ditch Rhonda’s cool party (so they can go to Arnold’s geek party) through the means of Peapod faking a headache.
1263-->'''Park:''' Something's goin' on at Arnold's.
1264-->'''Peapod:''' It looks like some kind of bizarre, out-of-control happening.
1265-->'''Park:''' Whatever it is, it looks a ''lot'' more fun than this.
1266-->'''Peapod:''' Here, here good fellow. Let's bid ''a'' hasty retreat. ''(to Rhonda and Nadine)'' Um, Rhonda, I'm ''terribly, terribly, terribly'' sorry. My headache has actually grown ''worse,'' and I fear I must take my leave.
1267-->'''Park:''' Yeah, I'd better go with him, too. You know, make sure he's okay. Thanks for the toast points. ''(they leave, Rhonda frowns)'' Come on, let’s go to Arnold’s. ''(Peapod shuts Rhonda's front door)''
1268-->'''Peapod:''' I hear you on that one.
1269* Park and Peapod run by Wolfgang and Edmund on their way to the boarding house.
1270-->'''Wolfgang:''' Hey, fourth grader. What's goin' on? ''(Park and Peapod briefly stop)''
1271-->'''Park:''' Party at Arnold's house! ''(Peapod and him continue running to the party.)''
1272-->'''Wolfgang:''' ''(to Edmund)'' Come on, let's go.
1273-->'''Edmund:''' But Wolfgang, they're fourth graders. If we went, wouldn't we be uncool?
1274-->'''Wolfgang:''' No.
1275-->'''Edmund:''' Why not?
1276-->'''Wolfgang:''' ''Because,'' uh, [[InsaneTrollLogic we are so cool that even if we go to an uncool party, we'll still be cool.]]
1277-->'''Edmund:''' Wow, Wolfgang. You're really smart.
1278-->'''Wolfgang:''' Duh... Come on. ''(Edmund laughs)'' Let's go.
1279* At Arnold's geek party, Gerald slides under the limbo stick and bumps into a dancing Eugene, who crashes into the punch bowl and falls to the roof's floor, saying "I'm okay." He gets up and spins the punch bowl on his head.
1280* After Rhonda is accepted into the geek party, [[BrickJoke Curly is seen riding a giraffe which is part of a stampede of zoo animals.]]
1281-->'''Curly:''' ''(maniacal laughter)'' Free the animals! ''(more maniacal laughter)'' '''(FIN)'''
1282
1283!!53A – Sid's Revenge
1284* Sid's overreaction to his belief that Principal Wartz is dead and it’s all his fault.
1285-->'''Arnold:''' Let's talk about this rationally.
1286-->'''Sid:''' Okay, Arnold. Rationally. But remember...I KILLED PRINCIPAL WARTZ!
1287* Principal Wartz gives Sid detention for carving his likeness out of soap for a voodoo ritual. What results is a classic HereWeGoAgain.
1288* Sid goes to the police to turn himself in; they laugh him out of the station.
1289
1290!!53B – Roller Coaster
1291* When the Dino Land worker allows the group to talk to Arnold and Eugene through his megaphone:
1292-->'''Sid:''' Hey Arnold! Didn't I tell you Eugene was the living jinx?
1293-->'''Stinky:''' Yeah and you said you were going to prove that he weren't! Told ya!
1294-->'''Harold:''' [[ICanSeeMyHouseFromHere Can you see my house from there?]]
1295-->'''Dino Land Worker:''' (taking away the megaphone) Give me that!
1296
1297!!54A – Grandpa's Birthday
1298* Arnold's grandpa thinks he finally passed away.
1299-->'''Grandpa Phil:''' I must be in Heaven now. ''(opens his eyes, sees Oskar Kokoshka)'' Wait a minute...Oh no! [[TheFriendNoOneLikes Oskar's here]]! This must be the '''''[[{{Hell}} other place!]]'''''
1300* Grandpa Phil insisting that he's in very poor health while battering a punching bag, running a treadmill, and pulling himself up on a bar.
1301* After Grandpa kicks the bucket.
1302-->'''Ernie:''' Is the old man...?
1303-->'''Mr. Hyunh:''' Yes. He finished.
1304-->'''Oskar:''' [[CrossesTheLineTwice Horray!]] [[ItsAllAboutMe I win the pool!]]
1305
1306!!54B – Road Trip
1307* "TRUCK!"
1308** To avoid it, Helga grabs the wheel and forces them off the road, through a corn field, and into a pond in the middle of a cow pasture:
1309-->'''Cow''': (Moos at Helga)\
1310'''Helga''': (Screams in terror)\
1311'''Miriam''': [[CaptainObvious Oh, look, Helga. A cow!]]
1312!!55A – Arnold & Lila
1313* Brainy does his usual creeping up on Helga and she gives him the usual OffhandBackhand. But during the second time he does it in this episode, she gives him a full-on NoHoldsBarredBeatdown.
1314!!55B – Grand Prix
1315* Eugene and Sid arguing over what name should be given to the rebuilt go-kart.
1316-->'''Eugene:''' ''(paints one final section of the go-kart)'' All finished. What do you think?\
1317'''Arnold:''' I can't believe we let you talk us painting it purple.\
1318'''Eugene:''' It's not purple, Arnold. It's [[InsistentTerminology mauve!]]\
1319'''Sid:''' Whatever. We're still calling it "The Dark Avenger".\
1320'''Eugene:''' But, Sid. Look at it! It’s "The Mauve Storm".\
1321'''Sid:''' "The Dark Avenger".\
1322'''Eugene:''' "The Mauve Storm".\
1323'''Sid:''' "The Dark Avenger".\
1324'''Stinky:''' I got it! How about [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gkhGPrEMx5c "The Mauve Avenger"]]?\
1325''(cut to Sid, then Eugene, then Arnold)''\
1326'''Arnold:''' Stinky, we are ''not'' calling our go-kart "The Mauve Avenger". ''(GilliganCut)'' I cannot believe we called our go-kart "The Mauve Avenger".
1327* Phoebe laughs maniacally while driving.
1328* "Helga's Angel is in the lead! But the Mauve Avenger is closing the gap!" Cut to Eugene freaking out in an out-of-control kart.
1329* After the race, Eugene is happy to have finished, but Stinky [[SoreLoser complains that they didn't win]]. Eugene cheerfully points out that they still got second place, but Stinky again [[SecondPlaceIsForLosers pessmistically remarks that they didn't win]].
1330* Edmund approaches a frustrated Wolfgang and insists that he should've driven instead and that he wouldn't have crashed, much to Wolfgang's annoyance.
1331
1332!!56 – Arnold's Thanksgiving
1333* The fourth grade's disaster of a Thanksgiving pageant:
1334-->'''Eugene:''' (as a Native American) Now come partake in pumpkin seeds, mashed up cranberries, and this yummy corn maize! (holds out a basket, only to find it empty) Where's the corn maize?\
1335'''Harold:''' (as a Pilgrim) I was hungry! (the buttons on his costume pop off)
1336* Mr. Simmons' chaotic family dinner is meant to be a TearJerker, but it does get a few moments. For example, this between Mr. Simmons' mom and Peter, a man who is strongly implied to be his boyfriend...
1337-->'''Mr. Simmons' mother:''' I didn't know Peter would be joining us.\
1338'''Peter:''' [[NoodleIncident There's a lot of things you don't know.]]
1339* Doubling as a heartwarming moment when the Sunset Arms family celebrates a proper Thanksgiving rather than the Fourth of July (due to Grandma always switching the holidays.
1340-->'''Arnold:''' You think we could still have fireworks?\
1341'''Grandma:''' Oh Arnold...it wouldn't be Thanksgiving without fireworks! (''proceeds to set off a ton of fireworks'')
1342* Harold, upon seeing Arnold dressed as Benjamin Franklin, refers to him as a "bald old lady with little rectangle glasses", before running down the street announcing it.
1343
1344!!57A – Girl Trouble
1345* Grandpa Phil relates how he used to be picked on by a girl in grade school the same way Helga picks on Arnold.
1346-->'''Arnold:''' That's exactly what I've been going through, Grandpa.
1347-->'''Grandpa Phil:''' [[LampshadeHanging Uncanny, isn't it Arnold?]]
1348** The fact that the girl, predictably, turns out to be Arnold's grandmother is funny enough, but it gives Phil's advice to Arnold in regards to dealing with Helga ("follow your instincts") a ''whole'' new meaning--by "follow your instincts", he probably meant [[ShipperOnDeck "marry her ya idiot"]].
1349* Phil and Gertie bickering [[LikeAnOldMarriedCouple like the old married couple they are]] at the end is both this and kind of adorable.
1350-->'''Phil:''' (''After a sweet moment between him and his wife'') Did you [[LethalChef make watermelon]] again tonight?
1351-->'''Gertie:''' (''Annoyed'') What's your point?
1352-->''(Both start arguing over each other.)''
1353
1354!!57B – School Dance
1355* The auditions for the school dance feature some highlights including Sheena playing the Cello so badly she sends the bow flying into the wall(spearing Arnold's hat in the process), Mr Green singing "Danny Boy" badly off-key and Oskar playing the Sax so badly it forces Arnold to cover his ears.
1356* Dino's song "My Last Bow" is [[CrossesTheLineTwice so over-the-top in how depressing it is that it loops back around to being funny]].
1357
1358!!58A – Helga's Show
1359* Helga does some pretty spot on impressions of her classmates, which offends them. Phoebe suggests she do something more positive, so she writes her a REALLY CORNY poem complimenting her classmates in PAINFUL, PAINFUL rhyme. Plus, the music that plays while she's reading it.
1360-->'''Helga:''' Curly, now there's an original kid. ''(weird rimshot noise)''
1361* Mr. Simmons being completely oblivious to Helga's impression of him.
1362
1363!!58B – The Flood
1364* Grandpa mocking Oskar's AnnoyingLaugh.
1365* Helga is trying to escape, but then she runs into Principal Wartz who was just dancing in the halls with a sombrero, poncho, and maracas.
1366-->'''Wartz:''' Are you attempting to leave school grounds without permission, Miss Pataki?
1367-->'''Helga:''' ''([[DeadpanSnarker Deadpanned]])'' Are you attempting to dance “The Flamenco”, Principal Wartz?
1368-->''(long pause)''
1369-->'''Wartz:''' [[LetUsNeverSpeakOfThisAgain This moment never happened.]]
1370-->'''Helga:''' Gotcha.
1371-->''(both walk past each other)''
1372* Curly's tribal dance in the art supply room.
1373* Stinky's question when Mr. Simmons falls into several feet of water: "[[BlackComedy I wonder who our new teacher's gonna be]]?"
1374* At the end, after Grandpa Phil and Oskar save the students and Mr. Simmons, Principal Wartz opts to [[GoingDownWithTheShip stay behind]] and "go down with [his] school" while cheerfully and [[LargeHam somewhat hammishly]] bidding them farewell.
1375
1376!!59 – School Play
1377* All of Mr. Hyunh's scenes.
1378-->'''Mr. Hyunh:''' I will help you Arnold!
1379-->'''Arnold:''' You, Mr. Hyunh?
1380-->'''Mr. Hyunh:''' YES! I am very dramatic! ''(strikes a pose)''
1381-->'''Grandpa Phil:''' That's a polite word for what you are. ''(rimshot)''
1382** Another moment, courtesy of Oskar and [[ItMakesSenseInContext Mr. Hyunh in drag]]:
1383--->'''Mr. Hyunh:''' Why do you always have to cheat, Oskar! Why can't you act like a normal person?
1384--->'''Oskar:''' Me? What about you? You're wearing a dress!
1385--->'''Mr. Hyunh:''' That is to help Arnold! I'm Juliet!
1386--->'''Oskar:''' You're not Juliet. You're a sad man wearing a dress!
1387* At the play itself, Helga [[https://youtu.be/vTjiLvZTp-c?t=171 pushes her advantage]] in being able to finally deliver TheBigDamnKiss on Arnold, dragging it out for over ten seconds.
1388-->'''Helga''': Except for that ''disgusting'' kiss! Yuck! [[BlatantLies I practically threw up]]!\
1389'''Arnold''': Then why'd you kiss me so long?\
1390'''Helga''': Hey, I was ''acting'', football-head, I was just being professional. You think I ''wanted'' to do that?! I practically gagged.\
1391'''Arnold''': (''sighs'') Whatever you say, Helga.
1392* While subtle, after the kiss, Helga drops Arnold and he hits his head.
1393
1394!!60 – Parents Day
1395* Helga getting hit in the face with an egg because she's too busy making fun of Arnold.
1396[[/folder]]
1397
1398[[folder:Season 4]]
1399!!61A – Eugene's Birthday
1400* At the Aquarium, Eugene is talking to Angel his pet angelfish. Or rather, a random angelfish for the original Angel was eaten. And the gag comes back at full force, as Angel 2 is eaten as well.
1401* Eugene's rationalization of Arnold being a jinx, followed by Arnold's indignant reaction.
1402
1403!!61B – Stinky's Pumpkin
1404* Stinky complaining that he tries to taxidermy a squirrel but it went wrong.
1405-->'''Mr. Peterson:''' [[EpicFail Squirrel's got to be dead]].
1406* Stinky's father, seeing his hard work to grow something in their garden, hands his grandfather's "magic" hoe over to him.
1407-->'''Stinky:''' Pa, why didn't you give to me while I was plowing the whole backyard with a dang soup ladle?
1408-->'''Mr. Peterson:''' I needed it to prop up the kitchen table.
1409-->''(Cut to his uncle carving a turkey on the kitchen table, only for it to collapse)''
1410-->'''Stinky:''' Oh.
1411* The dream that keeps trying to tell Stinky "if you plant them, they will grow." Only for Stinky to keep asking him questions and the "mystical disembodied voice" grows exasperated having to explain himself.
1412* The part that shows Stinky tending his growing pumpkin plan through harsh weather, including heavy rain, a heat wave, and a spring snowstorm.
1413-->'''Mr. Peterson:''' Strange weather we're havin'. Rain and drought and snow.
1414-->'''Stinky:''' (while using a heater to keep his plant warm) And all in the same dang week!
1415
1416!!62A – Dinner for Four
1417* Arnold wants Helga to go back to Chez Paris and come clean about the dinner fiasco.
1418-->'''Helga:''' Look, I am not going to go in there and tell them the truth and wind up washing dishes. ''(GilliganCut)'' I can't ''believe'' I told them the truth and I wound up washing dishes!
1419
1420!!62B – Phoebe Skips
1421* Lila is Helga's first choice for a replacement sidekick, and she tells her to cut the tags from Lila's sweater as a prank. Instead, Lila politely ''asks'' Rhonda if she can cut the tags off first. When Helga calls Lila out on it, this exchange happens:
1422-->'''Lila:''' It just felt ever so wrong.
1423-->'''Helga:''' Well, guess what? You're ever so ''fired!''
1424
1425!!63A – Full Moon
1426* Principal Wartz is trying to get Arnold to state who mooned him (Wartz), but Arnold won't because he's not a snitch. Wartz tells a story of how in school he tattled on some classmates and could NeverLiveItDown, essentially destroying his social life. He states that he didn't care what anyone else thought of him, because he knew he had done the right thing. And in the end, he became an elementary school principal.
1427-->'''Wartz:''' ...Wouldn't you like to be an elementary school principal?
1428-->'''Arnold:''' ''(Unimpressed)'' Not really.
1429-->''(Wartz's eyes pop open with a comical 'boing!')''
1430* Principal Wartz's "Mooning is Not Funny" slide show. It has a slide where he's wearing an eyepatch and the caption claims mooning can put someone's eye out.
1431* Harold's sad clown motif playing when he finally confesses.
1432
1433!!63B – Student Teacher
1434
1435
1436!!64A – Big Gino
1437* Sid tries to ask Arnold if he can give him a swirlie.
1438
1439!!64B – Jamie O in Love
1440
1441
1442!!65A – The Beeper Queen
1443* Arnold sees Helga with a melted ice cream cone in her hand and asks her what's wrong. She starts a passionate speech about her mom, gesticulating fiercely with the ice cream still in her hand. After she finishes, the camera cuts to Arnold, who is splattered all over with chocolate ice cream.
1444* Miriam's cheerful "I'll see you in court" response to a client who's ticked because he can't return his beepers.
1445
1446!!65B – Oskar Can't Read?
1447* Oskar reading ''Pet the Kitty'' over and over at the end. Ernie responds with, "I'll make you eat the pretty kitty!" '''(FIN)'''
1448
1449!!66A – Headless Cabbie
1450* Arnold, Gerald, Harold, Stinky and Sid are having a sleepover at Arnold's house telling scary stories. Stinky tells one that the others find... more weird than scary.
1451-->'''Stinky''': ''This here yarn of a horror is about the ever-frighentin' Monkey-Cat. In the dingy laboratory of the despicable Dr. Mischief, there lived an old furry cat. One day, the cat snuck into the cage of a frisky monkey and got himself caught. Dr. Mischief watched as the monkey and the cat began to fight. They became entangled together. And that's when the evil doctor got his big idea. He cut off the monkey's head and sewed on the cat's body and invented... Monkey-Cat!''\
1452'''Gerald''': "Monkey-Cat"?\
1453'''Stinky''': Monkey-Cat!\
1454'''Gerald''': What's so scary about that?\
1455'''Stinky''': It's a banana-eatin', milk-drinkin' horror monster! Monkey-Cat!\
1456'''Harold''': (''throws his pillow at Stinky's face'') That's not scary! That's ''stupid''!
1457** When the boys think they've thought up of every scary story in the book, they try to figure out what else to do:
1458-->'''Sid:''' We ate all the pizza. I guess the only thing left to do is just go to sleep. (puts on a sleep mask)\
1459'''Gerald:''' Uh, Sid? It's 6:30.
1460* The boys hear what sounds like horse hooves beating against the cobblestones and Harold worries it's the Headless Cabbie. Turns out to be Eugene practicing his clog dancing.
1461-->'''Gerald''': Clog dancing on the cobblestones in the early evening? Now I've seen everything.
1462* The gang run into what appears to be the "man with a golden hook for an arm" from the story, and flee in terror. Turns out to be just a watch salesman with several gold watches around his wrist, left utterly baffled by the boys running away from him.
1463-->'''Watch Salesman''': Just wanted to sell 'em a quality watch.
1464* As mentioned above, most of the elements of the Headless Cabbie story that appear in the "real world" are explained by ContrivedCoincidence. When the kids finally encounter the Cabbie and Laughing Madwoman, it seems this is the same case--the Cabbie is Ernie, who's hidden his head in his coat because it's cold out. But the kicker is that the Madwoman is Mr. Hyunh, who's laughing like a maniac...for absolutely no reason at all.
1465-->'''Mr. Hyunh''': WHO WANTS TO HEAR MY CREEPY LAUGH?
1466
1467!!66B – Friday the 13th
1468* Wolfgang getting his comeuppance at the end after Arnold throws a bucket of fish-heads on him and a bunch of black cats come after him.
1469
1470!!67A – Helga's Parrot
1471* A parrot mimics a love poem for Arnold that Helga recites in her sleep and she spends the episode trying to stop Arnold from hearing it. She tracks him down to the pet store but covers to say she's buying a monitor lizard. Unfortunately for her, the woman behind the counter is relieved to get rid of it and plops the giant reptile into Helga's arms. Then there’s a GilliganCut to Helga leaving the lizard with Phoebe for the night. And the next day when she limps into school, Phoebe is holding the lizard on a leash in the middle of the class.
1472** Helga's threats to the parrot.
1473-->'''Helga:''' (lividly) Are you mocking me?
1474-->'''Parrot:''' ''(reciting the poem)''...Why must I worship you, (sqawks) and never ever tell?
1475-->'''Helga:''' Trust me...''you won't live long enough to tell.''
1476** When the parrot first starts repeating the poem, Helga threatens it and there's a knock on the door from Miriam asking who she's talking to.
1477--> '''Helga:''' [[BlatantLies Just my imaginary friend]].
1478--> '''Miriam:''' Okay...I'll set another place at breakfast.
1479** While Helga is chasing the parrot around town she runs past Mr. Green's butcher shop. There's a sign in the window that says "Special on poultry."
1480** Helga is also forced by circumstance to spend the night hidden in Arnold's room. When he starts to get undressed for bed, Helga tries to cover her eyes. But she can't resist a peek and falls backwards smiling.
1481** In the morning she gets caught behind the couch, then breaks through the floor falling onto the kitchen table where Arnold's Grandparents are eating breakfast. Without a word she gets up, limps to the door, and takes an umbrella.
1482*** Speaking of the monitor lizard, there's a bit of BlackComedy in it eating the parrot just as it was about to say the end of Helga's poem. Naturally, everyone is traumatized while Helga is happy and relieved. Mr. Simmons himself fainted after a few seconds of the situation settling in.
1483*** Afterwards, Helga has a new appreciation for the monitor lizard.
1484-->'''Helga:''' ''(to the lizard, smiling, while tickling it's chin)'' You and me are gonna get along just fine.
1485
1486!!67B – Chocolate Turtles
1487* Arnold realizes that Gerald had gotten them chocolate turtles to sell by joining the Campfire Lads.
1488-->'''Arnold''': Join the Campfire Lads? (ImagineSpot of the two of them Irish Step Dancing in Campfire Lass uniforms) ARE YOU CRAZY!?
1489
1490!!68A – Love and Cheese
1491* Helga convincing the ride operator to speed up the tilt-a-whirl and making Lila throw up on Arnold. Admit it, as gross as it was, it was pretty dang funny!
1492
1493!!68B – Weighing Harold
1494* The weight-loss cruise commercial shows a "caring health counselor" introducing himself: "Hi, I'm Counselor Skip, and I care." Meanwhile, a kid is flailing in the pool in the background.
1495* The fact that Harold was somehow able to gain 100 extra pounds from a cruise that only served salad. Just how much of it did he eat?
1496* Arnold goes to visit Harold, who is locked up in his room, too embarrassed to come out.
1497--> '''Mr. Berman:''' Harold, there's someone here to see you.
1498--> '''Harold:''' ''(from inside his room)'' Go away.
1499--> '''Mr. Berman:''' ''(long pause)'' It's the pizza man.
1500--> ''(stomping is heard from inside and Harold excitedly opens the door, only to frown in disappointment)''
1501--> '''Harold:''' Aww gee...
1502
1503!!69A – It Girl
1504* The thing that finally pushes Helga over the edge(after getting tired of seeing everyone dress like her and imitate her) is seeing Principal Wartz of all people wearing her trademark bow.
1505
1506!!69B – Deconstructing Arnold
1507* Helga advises Rhonda to act attracted to her StalkerWithACrush, Curly, assuming this sudden reversal will drive him away. HilarityEnsues.
1508* [[ButtMonkey Eugene]] getting injured repeatedly
1509
1510!!70A – Grudge Match
1511* Grandpa's disastrous practices at golfing.
1512** Arnold has an elaborate golf course set up for Grandpa to practice with hilarious results.
1513-->'''Grandpa Phil''': Is this all there is to it?\
1514'''Arnold''': You're supposed to use two hands. Now, take your time, concentrate, then swing. (''Grandpa swings the club; he misses the ball completely'') Swing a little lower this time, Grandpa.\
1515(''Grandpa swings again and the club flies out of his hands and over the fence, where it crashes onto a car on the other side'')\
1516'''Grandpa Phil''': One more time before the cops come.\
1517(''Swings his club at the ball and Arnold and Ernie watch it fly. It bounces off a street lamp, then a pole, a "No Parking" sign and punctures through a beehive. The hive rumbles and then the angry bees fly out and chase after the trio.'')\
1518'''All''': AAAAAH!
1519** Then it cuts to the den later that night showing Arnold and Grandpa covered in bandages.
1520* It turns out that Grandpa Phil can only successfully tee off by reciting a poem from the "How to Play Golf Video" he watched. On the eighteenth hole, the ploy fails--he doesn't know any rhymes that fit its layout--so he has to make one up: "I hate sandtraps...but I like...eggs..."
1521** Arnold's later attempt when the ball ends up in a dish at the clubhouse: "These people are brunching, your ball's in their quiche. Winning the golf game may seem out of... [[PainfulRhyme reesh.]]"
1522-->'''Grandpa Phil''': "That's the ''worst, stupidest'' poem I've ever heard!"
1523* There's the moment where Grandpa Phil wins the golf match by hitting a birdie (one under par) on the last hole.
1524-->'''Arnold:''' You did it, Grandpa.
1525-->'''Grandpa Phil:''' What? What did I do? I'm not wearing my glasses.
1526-->'''Arnold:''' You birdied!
1527-->'''Grandpa Phil:''' Oh, I hit a birdie. That's terrible!
1528-->'''Arnold:''' No, you won!
1529-->'''Grandpa Phil:''' Oh, that's wonderful! How's the bird?
1530
1531!!70B – Polishing Rhonda
1532
1533!!71 – Veterans Day
1534* Grandpa Phil's... embellished version of his service in WWII. He fought Hitler & gave him a wedgie! See it [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=teB_OOvmZDE&feature=related here]].
1535** Apparently it was actually Goebbels.
1536
1537!!72A – Back to School
1538* When he first begins the sixth grade, all of the other sixth graders give him a menacing look, with one giant with a leather jacket threateningly asking "what are you looking at?" The next day Phil comes in with his own leather jacket and a bad attitude and everyone instead looks nervous. He proceeds to stand over the giant sixth grader and ask "what are you looking at?" The sixth grader promptly looks terrified.
1539* Arnold asks Grandpa Phil where he's going in the evening with two sixth grade girls.
1540-->'''Grandpa Phil:''' We're gonna sneak into a rated PG-13 movie.
1541-->'''Arnold:''' But you're 81! You can get into a PG-13 movie anytime!
1542
1543!!72B – Egg Story
1544* The pair-up between Rhonda and Harold as parents makes for a hilarious B-plot.
1545-->'''Rhonda''': Oh, great. I got Harold.
1546-->'''Harold''': Come on, Rhonda. ''You know you like me!''
1547-->'''Rhonda''': Where in the world would you get a ridiculous idea like that?
1548-->'''Harold''': [[CallBack Remember that time at the Cheese Festival where you-]]
1549-->'''Rhonda''': (quickly covers his mouth to cut him off) [[LetUsNeverSpeakOfThisAgain I told you to never mention that night ever again.]]
1550* Harold's hungry, and the only food in the house is the egg child he and Rhonda were assigned.
1551-->'''Rhonda''': (horrified) [[PunctuatedForEmphasis YOU. ATE. OUR. BABY?!]]
1552
1553!!73A – Weird Cousin
1554* Arnold becomes annoyed from Stinky blabbering on about how Lila likes Arnie a lot and says: "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oawXy5nPxj0 Stinky... shut up.]]"
1555-->'''Stinky''': What'd I say?
1556
1557!!73B – Baby Oskar
1558* Susie yelling at Oskar for not helping out around the house, especially this line.
1559-->'''Susie:''' You expect everyone to take care of you.
1560-->'''Oskar:''' I don't expect everyone to take care of me, just you.
1561* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_meDCOnqWao Oskar wants Susie to make him a sandwich]].
1562** Here's this gem at the end of the episode.
1563-->'''Susie''': Oh Oskar.
1564-->'''Oskar''': What?
1565-->'''Susie''': I love you.
1566-->'''Oskar''': If you love me, make me a sandwich.
1567-->'''Susie''': Oskar! (laughs)
1568* "Why did the Pope have to be in town?"
1569* Oskar getting beaned with an angry senior citizen's crutch(after he knocked her out of the way twice earlier)
1570
1571!!74A – Helga Sleepwalks
1572* Helga sleepwalking into Arnold's shower and freaking out once she realizes what she's done and running out frantically.
1573
1574!!74B – Fighting Families
1575* While tensions between Arnold's family and neighbors rise up.
1576-->'''Ernie:''' Gramps stepped on my toe!\
1577'''Grandpa Phil:''' I did not! ''[[AgonyOfTheFeet This]]'' is stepping on your toe! (''STOMP'')\
1578'''Ernie:''' OW!
1579!!75A – Monkeyman!
1580!!75B – Buses, Bikes, and Subways
1581* Chocolate Boy licking himself, then sniffing Mr. Simmons like a dog. Made funnier by the fact that at the time, Simmons has him on a leash outside the chocolate factory gates.
1582* After Helga and Harold are left behind and the factory gates close, they discover a payphone nearby.
1583-->'''Helga''': So how much money you got? (''Harold shows Helga two quarters in his hand'') Enough for one call each. (''on phone'') Hello, Mom! It's me, Helga! I'm stuck at the chocolate factory with a moron! The school bus left us here and we don't have any way to get back! Oh, please pick up, Miriam! (''Miriam is sleeping after drinking alcohol, as usual'')\
1584(''Helga sighs and hangs up the phone; Harold dials it'')\
1585'''Harold''': Hello? Mommy, it's me, Harold.\
1586'''Caesar''': I never heard of you! DON'T CALL ME AGAIN!\
1587'''Harold''': Dialed the wrong number.\
1588'''Helga''': Just brilliant. You don't even know your own phone number.
1589* YMMV, but Helga's tirade to Harold is downright HILARIOUS.
1590* Simmons fainting on Helga's porch when he realizes Helga and Harold are okay.
1591
1592!!76A – Grandpa's Sister
1593* The fact that Grandma and Mitzi were best friends in their youth. One has to wonder what hell the two must've put Phil through.
1594* Grandpa tested his trap on Oskar, who is briefly shown stuck in the tree surrounded by angry hornets.
1595
1596!!76B – Synchronized Swimming
1597-->'''Harold''': And I'm tired of being called a fruitcup and a sissy-boned fat boy!
1598-->'''Arnold''': Uh, Harold, no one's called you that.
1599-->'''Harold''': I know, but... they'll think of it and call me it. You just wait.
1600* Later...
1601-->'''Wolfgang''': Watch it, you little fruitcup! You sissy-boned fat boy!
1602-->'''Harold''': See?! I told you someone would call me that!
1603
1604!!77A – Helga's Masquerade
1605
1606!!77B – Mr. Green Runs
1607
1608!!78 – Helga on the Couch
1609* During the Word Association sequence, as a FunnyBackgroundEvent, the clouds outside the window are shaped like Arnold. Also, Helga associating "Monday" with "Night Football".
1610* After another unexpected encounter with Arnold, Helga walks into an alley where Brainy (once again) is waiting for her. She proceeds to call him out on it.
1611-->'''Helga:''' Look, Brainy, this is just ''weird.'' How is it that you're standing behind me again? How did you get in this little arch? Were you waiting for me to come to this alley? What's your ''deal?''
1612** Earlier, there was this little gem:
1613-->'''Helga:''' And it's okay for me to keep socking Brainy?
1614-->'''Dr. Bliss:''' [[NoJustNoREaction No, that's what got you here in the first place.]]
1615* While it's [[BlackComedy darkly humorous]], Dr. Bliss' stoic answer to Helga's AnguishedDeclarationOfLove was pretty funny.
1616-->'''Helga:''' I... I love Arnold! There! I said it! I love him! I love him! Arnold, Arnold, Arnold! I'm absolutely, positively in love with the boy! I want to grow up and have a fabulous life traveling around the world with him! Coffee in Paris, roses, sailboats, the whole nine yards! I want to have a perfume named after us; "Arnold and Helga!" I! Love! Arnold! ''(panting)'' Satisfied?
1617-->''({{Beat}})''
1618-->'''Dr. Bliss:''' Now we're getting somewhere.
1619* For her part, [[PetTheDog Dr. Bliss is very kind and supportive after Helga confesses her love for Arnold]]...[[EveryoneHasStandards except the part about her making a statue of him out of his old chewed gum]].
1620** Also Helga mentions chanting [[SexMagic tantric spells]] in front of her altar to Arnold. [[{{What do you mean its for kids}} Uh, this is still technically a kids' show, right?]]
1621** The flashback with Miriam accidentally mixing up a can of Cheese Whiz with a can of shaving cream resulting in the shaving cream ending up in Helga's lunch(which she mentions she traded to Harold for a Mr Fudgy bar as he thought it was some kind of whipped topping) and Bob accidentally getting a face full of Cheese:
1622-->'''Bob:''' How am I supposed to run a Beeper empire with my face smelling like Hickory-Smoked Cheddar Miriam?!
1623
1624!!79 – Dino Checks Out
1625* Don Reynold's BaitAndSwitch eulogy:
1626-->'''Don''': What can you say about a guy like Dino? He was a mean, bitter, selfish, arrogant, back-stabbing... A nasty human being! But Dino had another side, too... He was also a sniveling coward.
1627** And later, when he attends Dinomania, he is sobbing very hard about Dino's "passing".
1628* Rhonda's ''interesting'' attempt to comfort Arnold after Dino's alleged death.
1629--> '''Rhonda:''' Don't be sad. He was an old guy, and that's what old people do. They die.
1630* Dino's most recent wife's eulogy.
1631-->'''Candy''': Dino and I had two really great years together. And then we got married.
1632* Candy's son Jimmy doesn't want to be at Dino's funeral any more than she does.
1633--> '''Jimmy:''' Can we go home now?
1634--> '''Candy:''' IN A MINUTE!
1635** They have the same exchange after she hears that Dino left her his house in his will.
1636* Arnold attempts to pass off Dino's singing in the shower as "rats", but Grandpa says there's no rats in the boarding house... except for Oskar, which Oskar almost immediately feels insulted by.
1637* Mr. Hyunh thinking they should offer the "ghost" of Dino a big fish so that he would leave.
1638-->'''Ernie''': That's the stupidest idea I ever heard. Let's do it.
1639* Grandpa's revelation that he knew that Dino was alive because ghosts don't take showers.
1640-->'''Grandpa''': They take baths!
1641* Grandpa analyzing Arnold's role.
1642-->'''Grandpa''': Y'know, for a nine-year-old, you sure like to take the weight of the world on your shoulders. You oughta be out playing with your little friends. Why don't you go out and play some stickball or go see a movie?
1643-->'''Arnold''': Grandpa, it's two o'clock in the morning.
1644-->'''Grandpa''': There's always a downside with you, isn't there?
1645* Ernie's reaction to Dino revealing he's not dead or a ghost.
1646-->'''Ernie''': Hey, Oskar, he's not dead! I want my two bucks back!
1647
1648!!80 – Summer Love
1649* Bob [[{{Gasshole}} farts]] on the way to the condo, and Miriam opens the window to release the stench.
1650* Bob falls asleep and wakes up with a nasty sunburn. Two paramedics lift the chair he's on, but one of them [[SneezeOfDoom sneezes]] and they drop him. Cue Bob screaming in agony.
1651* Grandpa's entire subplot where he thinks he's stranded from civilization on a remote island. It eventually turns out that he isn't even far from the rest of the beach.
1652** Grandpa mistakes a conch shell for a phone.
1653-->'''Grandpa''': Hello, 911? This is Grandpa. Yeah, I'm stuck on an island. Hello? Hello!? Aw, they put me on hold!
1654* Grandma at one point finds her way at a nudist beach. After observing the naturists, she remarks "When in Rome" and slips out of her swimsuit, causing everyone else there to run screaming.
1655* When Helga and Arnold appear on ''Babewatch'' in the ending, Helga demands that she give Arnold's character CPR and keeps on doing it even after the director says cut and informs her that they got the shot.
1656[[/folder]]
1657
1658[[folder:Season 5]]
1659!!81A – Sid the Vampire Slayer
1660* In general, the lengths Sid will go to prove Stinky is a vampire.
1661* The exaggerated descriptions in the library book Sid checks out, entitled ''How to Prove Your Friend is a Vampire.'' Example: "The first step in proving your friend is a hideous, underhanded creature of the night is..."
1662* Sid sees Stinky biting off a thread of his taxidermy project. He thinks, however, that Stinky is feeding. He asks a confused Arnold, "The guy's in there [[SuddenlyShouting SUCKIN' ON THE NECK OF A GOAT!]] What more do you need?"
1663* Sid tries to secretly photograph Stinky at his locker because the book says [[GlamourFailure vampires don't show up in photos]]-- by blindly sticking the camera out from behind a corner and taking photos (and completely missing that Stinky had just bent down out of frame to grab his books). He shows the photos to Arnold, claiming they prove Stinky is a vampire, only for Arnold to say "The only thing this proves is that [[EpicFail you don't know how to use a camera]]."
1664* Sid's plan to "eliminate" Stinky with a squeaking rubber sword.
1665* The ending: [[spoiler:Stinky really [[CassandraTruth IS a vampire]]]].
1666
1667!!81B – Big Sis
1668* Helga's frustrated line of [[CardCarryingVillain "Why do all of my evil plans keep failing?"]]
1669** Plus, Arnold's extremely exasperated reaction to Helga inevitably going too far.
1670--> '''Arnold:''' When are you going to give it up and admit the truth? ...Your sister's hanging out with Lila and it bugs you.
1671--> '''Helga:''' No, it doesn't!
1672--> '''Arnold:''' ''(In a long-suffering voice)'' You just [[VehicularSabotage took apart their carriage with a wrench.]]
1673--> '''Helga:''' So, what's your point?
1674--> '''Arnold:''' So either you're ''really crazy,'' or you're really jealous.
1675** Arnold just ''[[OffscreenTeleportation appears]]'' behind Helga after the aforementioned evil scheme, Brainy style, to admonish her. [[HypocriticalHumor She accuses him of stalking her, which he doesn't even bother to respond to.]] In the next shot, we suddenly see Arnold dragging a kite behind him, implying that he just happened to be in the area and saw a ripe opportunity for one of his trademark idealistic lectures.
1676* The ending, where after a heartwarming moment with Olga, Helga agrees to go sailing with her and Lila. Cut to her looking miserable as Olga and Lila continue to be insufferably cheerful, until she asks herself "What was I ''thinking?''" and jumps out of the boat to swim to shore.
1677** It takes Olga [[DelayedReaction quite some time]] to notice that Helga's missing after she and Lila finish singing "Moonlight Bay"... in between Craig Bartlett's Executive Producer credit and the fadeout.
1678
1679!!82A – Gerald's Game
1680
1681!!82B – Fishing Trip
1682* Harold complains about the fishing trip inside the boys' tent after the group was only able to eat canned beans for supper.
1683-->'''Harold:''' This trip ''stinks!''\
1684''(Gerald waves his hand in front of his face)'' \
1685'''Gerald:''' In more ways than one.
1686* The smell of multiple farts coming from both tents rises up to the trees above, where an owl perched on a tree branch ''dies'' from the smell and falls out of the tree. Grandpa Phil notices the dead bird lying on the ground the next morning.
1687-->'''Grandpa Phil:''' Aww, look. A dead owl. BREAKFAST!
1688* Sid gets a fish from the river caught on his nose. His dad manages to remove the fish and throws it back into the water. Since the group of men and boys haven’t had any success in catching fish, Sid’s dad gets glared at by the other dads.
1689-->'''Sid’s Dad:''' Did I just throw that fish in the river?
1690* Eugene's oblivious reaction to Harold's scary story.
1691* [[Music/TheMonkees Davy Jones]] AsHimself.
1692-->'''Davy Jones:''' Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls. We've had lots of requests tonight, but [[SelfDeprecation we're gonna sing anyway]]!
1693
1694!!83A – Bag of Money
1695
1696!!83B – Principal Simmons
1697* After a failed assembly by newly appointed Principle Simmons, he notices things in the school are getting a [[{{Understatement}} little out of control]]. Arnold is a bit skeptical to believe this and [[CreepyChild Curly]] is '''very''' visibly in the background using a stage prop to swing back and forth across the stage and laughing maniacally in the process behind them. Even funnier with Arnold and Simmon's blank faces while it's happening in the background.
1698* Simmons attempts to take refuge in his office and he immediately notices [[TroublingUnchildlikeBehavior Curly]], sitting on his desk, cut the heads off of flowers, then he jetpacks out of his office... with a fire extinguisher... while doing a Nazi salute...
1699* Principal Wartz singing "I Will Prevail," a thinly-veiled parody of Gloria Gaynor's "I Will Survive," at karaoke night.
1700
1701!!84A – New Bully on the Block
1702* The fourth graders are forced to play on the street after their vacant lot is taken over. One of the cars that passes them has the license place "[=KIDH8R=]".
1703* After the fourth graders reluctantly take part in Wolfgang and Ludwig's football game, Harold gets picked by Ludwig:
1704-->'''Ludwig:''' Okay... I pick Tubby.\
1705'''Harold:''' Hey! My name's not "Tubby", it's Harold! And I wanna be on Wolfgang's team!\
1706'''Ludwig:''' Tubby, shut up and get over here.\
1707'''Harold:''' (''mumbling and walking over'') Awww madame fortress mommy I don't want to.
1708* During the game, Curly keeps begging Ludwig to give him the ball. Once their team is ahead, Ludwig decides to let him get it for one play, leading to this:
1709-->'''Stinky:''' Down, set, hut, hut, hike! (''hands the ball to Curly'')\
1710'''Curly:''' Plie! (''does a ballet spin to dodge Gerald'') Jete! (''leaps away from Brainy, then runs towards the end zone alone'') Huzzah! (''Ludwig's team cheers... but instead of scoring, Curly runs off the field and down the street with the ball laughing maniacally, leaving them dumbfounded'')\
1711'''Ludwig:''' Okay... now we need another ball.
1712* In a meta sense, the ending: two of Arnold's past voice actors[[note]][[DontExplainTheJoke Toran Caudell voices Wolfgang and Phillip Van Dyke voices Ludwig]][[/note]] become friends and screw over the third one[[note]]Spencer Klein[[/note]].
1713
1714!!84B – Phoebe Breaks a Leg
1715
1716!!85A – Stuck in a Tree
1717* There are two funny lines from Harold: "Arnold and Eugene stuck in a tree! S-T-U-K in a tree! Hahaha! [[HypocriticalHumor You're so stupid]]!" and "Two nickels? That's fifteen cents!"
1718** And when Harold runs off and promptly returns with a ladder and attempts to get Arnold and Eugene down, while still mocking them... only to accidentally kick the ladder, sending it falling to the ground, leaving Harold stuck in the tree with them.
1719-->'''Harold''': I found this ladder leaning up against the water tower. There was a guy up there, but I didn't figure he'd mind if I borrowed it. (''cut to a construction worker losing his balance and falling off the water tower'') You guys are so stupid! I mean, really, getting stuck in a tree? Hahaha! (''accidentally kicks the ladder, sending it toppling to the ground, where it snaps in half'') Oh, I'm so stupid!
1720* The trio sees a guy riding a lawnmower nearby, but he can't hear them because he's wearing headphones. They try throwing berries at him to get his attention, but Eugene winds up hitting him in the head and knocking him out.
1721* The ImagineSpot where all the boys are in their eighties and still stuck in the tree.
1722** Tied to the above: the guy riding the lawnmower is ''still unconscious'', and the mower itself has apparently been running the whole time.
1723--->'''Old!Eugene''': Gosh, you'd think eventually he'd have run out of gas.
1724** He also [[TheAgeless hasn't aged]] ''a single day'' since Eugene accidentally knocked him out. What the hell is in those cherries?!
1725** Hell, the image of the three just watching the same man ride back and forth for seventy years and no one coming to help either the guy or the trio is quite hilarious in itself.
1726** In a hilarious case of DramaticIrony, all of their friends have all become deaf in old age, so their calls to them literally fall on deaf ears.
1727** [[BrickJoke Harold married the squirrel]] and they're apparently having relationship issues.
1728* When Chocolate Boy leaves to go get help:
1729-->'''Harold:''' He's not coming back, is he?\
1730'''Arnold:''' Nope.
1731* The episode ends with the fire department finally arriving the get them down with a cherry picker. Unfortunately, [[HereWeGoAgain it breaks down right as they're going down and they're stuck again.]]
1732-->'''Eugene:''' Gosh, first we're stuck in a cherry tree. Now we're stuck in a cherry picker. (''Arnold and Harold glare at him'') Isn't life funny?\
1733'''Harold:''' AW, EUGENE, I'M GONNA POUND YOU!\
1734'''Arnold:''' (''exasperated'') Harold... '''(FIN)'''
1735* The [[{{Pun}} cherry on top]] is the man on the lawnmower driving past the screen one last time. And yes, he's ''still'' unconscious.
1736
1737!!85B – Rhonda Goes Broke
1738
1739!!86A – Helga's Locket
1740* When Helga attempted to get her locket of Arnold back from Arnold's grandpa. She [[PaperThinDisguise disguised herself in a black trenchcoat, a derby, glasses, and fake mustache]], passing herself off as "Bernard Flotsom", a rich antique art collector. It works for maybe a minute, and after a couple of near-misses (such as one of her pigtails poking out from her hat), Grandpa gets wise once she runs off with the locket saying, "So long sucker!" Grandpa pulls the rug, causing Helga to slip and the locket to fly back into his hands.
1741-->'''Grandpa''': Aha! Gotcha! [[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment Ya two-timin' swindlin' thief imposter of a charlatan!]]\
1742'''Helga''': That locket's just a cheap piece of junk! It's worth ''nothing!''\
1743'''Grandpa''': Oh, yeah?! Well, so are ''you!'' AND YOU FORGOT YOUR MUSTACHE!\
1744(''tosses the fake mustache as Helga runs off'')
1745* After getting her locket off Arnold's desk, Helga spots a small picture of Lila taped to Arnold's monitor and takes a moment to [[ClingyJealousGirl rip it to shreds]].
1746* When Helga shuts off the lights just as Arnold and Grandpa pry the locket open.
1747-->'''Grandpa''': AAAH! I'M BLIND!\
1748'''Arnold''': Grandpa, the lights went out.\
1749'''Grandpa''': AAH! The lights went out! AND I'M BLIND!
1750* The RunningGag of Grandpa showing off his "Arnold locket" to everyone and Arnold being embarrassed and exasperated by it.
1751
1752!!86B – Sid and Germs
1753
1754!!87A – Beaned
1755* This gem from Helga while she's faking amnesia and it starts to rain. Her Deadpan tone and blank facial expression is what sells it.
1756--> '''Helga''': Oh no, [[AccidentalMisnaming Archibald]]. The sky. It is making water.
1757* When Arnold tells the other kids Helga still can't remember anything, Harold tries to jog her memory.
1758-->'''Harold:''' Helllo Helga... My name is Harrrold... Do you remember mee?\
1759'''Helga:''' Why of course I remember you, ''Sheryl''.
1760!!87B – Old Iron Man
1761* Grandpa and Jimmy's NeverSayDie parade:
1762-->'''Jimmy''': Who are we kidding, old man? You're going down and so am I.
1763-->'''Grandpa''': Oh, you're right. This is it, Jimmy. This is the end. We're going to Davey Jone's locker.
1764-->'''Jimmy''': Kicking the bucket.
1765-->'''Grandpa''': Buying the water farm.
1766-->'''Jimmy''': Checking out of the hotel of life.
1767-->'''Grandpa''': And checking into the hotel of death.
1768-->'''Jimmy''': The big roundup.
1769-->'''Grandpa''': The Film/LastTangoInParis.
1770-->'''Jimmy''': "Last tango in Paris"? [[SubvertedTrope That's not a euphemism for dying!]]
1771-->'''Grandpa''': I know, but it was my turn, and I ran out of euphemisms and I didn't wanna lose the game.
1772
1773!!88A – Ghost Bride
1774* Arnold reading The Ghost Bride's Tombstone gives us this gem
1775--> '''Arnold:''' ''Here lies Cynthia Snell, she lived her life and went to... I can't read the rest....
1776
1777!!88B – Gerald vs. Jamie O
1778* All the contriver situations Gerald finds Jamie O and his crush in to make him think that Jamie O is trying to steal her from him.
1779
1780!!89A – Suspended
1781* Harold gets suspended for [[DisproportionateRetribution calling Principal Wartz a stupid dork]].
1782* Harold, initially excited about his suspension, treats it like a vacation from school and tries doing all of his favorite things since he's got the house to himself. But it doesn't goes as well as he thought it would:
1783** All the junk food in the house is gone.
1784** Harold tries jumping around on his bed, but he accidentally breaks the ceiling with his head.
1785** When he tries watching TV, all he can find is news coverage of an economic summit in Japan--which, of course, a kid like Harold finds pretty boring.
1786** He then decides to go shoot baskets out in the basketball court, but when he can't score a hit in the basket (ending with him accidentally tossing the ball out of the court and it bounces off and damages several cars offscreen), Harold finally understands the true misery of his punishment, and is desperate to return to school.
1787-->'''Harold''': I hate being suspended! And it's only Monday! I can't take it! '''''I WANNA GO BACK TO SCHOOL!'''''
1788* Harold's repeated attempts to break into P.S. 118.
1789** His pizza man disguise was already bad enough, but if you look closely his nametag has his actual name on it!
1790** Harold trying to dig a hole to tunnel himself into school when Wartz walks up behind him and Harold, not realizing who he's talking to, foolishly blabs out his plan to break in, resulting in Wartz extending his suspension even further.
1791-->'''Harold''': I'll be on school grounds in no time! What a great plan! (''Wartz walks up behind him'')\
1792'''Wartz''': Hello, son. You're digging quite a hole there, aren't you?\
1793'''Harold''': Yeah. See, I got suspended because I called the principal a stupid dork. And now he won't let me into the school. So I'm gonna tunnel in!\
1794'''Wartz''': Is that so? That's another week's suspension for you, Mr. Berman!\
1795'''Harold''': Awwwww! (''the shovel falls on his foot'') OW!\
1796'''Wartz''': And fill up that hole. (''leaves'')
1797** The last one involves him making a giant slingshot to try to launch himself into the school.
1798-->'''Arnold''': Harold, what're you doing?\
1799'''Harold''': See? I made this giant slingshot and I'm gonna strap myself in and launch myself into school!\
1800'''Arnold''': Harold, it'll never work. Besides, school's already out. You're acting crazy.\
1801'''Harold''': I know that, Arnold!\
1802'''Arnold''': Then why're you doing it?\
1803'''Harold''': BECAUSE I'M ''DESPERATE''! (''the slingshot breaks sending Harold tumbling backwards and he thuds to ground; sobbing'') I wanna go back to school!
1804* When Harold is reading part of the P.S. 118 constitution to Principal Wartz.
1805-->'''Harold:''' ...Due to outside circumcisions.\
1806'''Arnold:''' -stances!\
1807'''Harold:''' Right, outside circumstances!
1808** And Harold's Jewish.
1809* Then when Wartz finally accepts Harold back into school, to his extreme joy. As the two boys walk back into the school, Wartz is suddenly assaulted by [[BrickJoke Wolfgang with the fire extinguisher]].
1810-->'''Wartz''': Ah, Wartzy, you've done it again. The true principal must temper justice with mercy. It's no wonder the children love and respect me. (''[[ImmediateSelfContradiction he is suddenly sprayed with the fire extinguisher by Wolfgang]]'')\
1811'''Wolfgang''': Hey, Wartz! You wide-load!\
1812'''Wartz''': That's it, young man! You're suspended!\
1813'''Wolfgang''': You can't suspend me! I'm already suspended!\
1814'''Wartz''': Well, in that case, you're unsuspended. Get back to class!\
1815'''Wolfgang''': You gotta catch me first, old ugly guy! Haha! (''He runs and Wartz gives chase'')\
1816'''Wartz''': Come back here right now! Or I'll--WHOA! (''falls into the hole Harold dug up earlier'') '''''[[SayMyName HAROOOOOOOLD!]]''''' '''(FIN)'''
1817
1818!!89B – Ernie in Love
1819* Ernie's [[PainfulRhyme horrible attempts at writing poetry.]]
1820-->'''Ernie''': I love you so, my darling Lola. If I were Spanish, I'd say "Hola."
1821
1822!!90A – Arnold Visits Arnie
1823* Arnold getting embarrassed by the other kids when he shows up to the practice field in bear pajamas.
1824** The following from the same episode:
1825--->'''Arnold:''' I'm supposed to visit my cousin Arnie.\
1826'''Lila:''' Arnie? You mean, your oh so interesting and likable CountryCousin [[UncannyFamilyResemblance that looks almost exactly like you]] only much more attractive?\
1827''(Helga and Arnold stare at her.)''\
1828'''Helga:''' That's one twisted version of the story.
1829** Harold's reason on why Arnie's weird: "He's always counting food instead of eating it!"
1830** Later, at a convenience store:
1831--->'''Gerard:''' Eleven cents?! Boy howdy, that's completely outrageous! It's unacceptable!\
1832'''Kid:''' Quit overreacting Gerald and cool out.
1833** Arnold's reaction to Lulu flirtatiously winking at him: "Oh ''please''."
1834** Arnold tries to stop Lulu from liking him.
1835--->'''Arnold:''' But you're ARNIE'S girlfriend and, [[ToyShip WE'RE NINE!]]"
1836
1837!!90B – Chocolate Boy
1838
1839!!91A – Harold vs. Patty
1840* When Patty is teaching Harold concentration for becoming a better arm wrestler, the challenge is to walk across a log over a river.
1841-->'''Harold:''' I don't like this, Patty. It's sc-scaring me.\
1842'''Patty:''' Just look straight ahead and you'll be fine. And remember: balance.\
1843''(Harold struggles to maintain balance on the log, lands on his butt, and falls into the river)''
1844* After Harold loses to Patty in the Hillwood City Arm Wrestling Tournament, Sid and Stinky ''once again'' proceed to [[BullyingADragon make fun of Harold losing to her]]. Harold decides he's had enough of their rudeness and starts shouting at them. (Doubles as an [[SugarWiki/MomentOfAwesome Awesome Moment]].)
1845-->'''Harold:''' ''(yelling)'' SO WHAT IF I LOST TO A GIRL?! Patty's the best arm wrestler-\
1846''(he grabs Sid and Stinky by their shirts)''\
1847'''Harold:''' -in the whole city and ''she's my friend!'' I'm proud to lose to her, and if anyone has a problem with that, ''I'll pound 'em!''\
1848''(Harold smacks Sid's and Stinky's heads together and they fall to the floor)''\
1849'''Sid and Stinky:''' Ow...
1850
1851!!91B – Rich Guy
1852* Mr. Redman's robot butler “Mr. Egg Cream” mistaking Grandpa Phil for Redman and offering him an egg cream.
1853-->'''Mr. Egg Cream:''' Your egg cream, Mr. Redman.\
1854'''Grandpa Phil:''' I don’t want an egg cream. How about a sack of money?
1855* The RunningGag of Grandpa mixing up the toilets and the sinks.
1856
1857!!92A – The Racing Mule
1858
1859!!92B – Curly's Girl
1860
1861!!93A – On the Lam
1862* Harold, Stinky and Sid break into Mr. Simmons' science closet and steal the rockets he used for today's experiment.
1863-->'''Stinky''': Willikers! Look at all 'em rockets!\
1864'''Harold''': This is just too good to be true! We'll take 'em all, strap 'em together with a whole bunch of baking soda and whole ton of vinegar and blast 'em off! Haha!\
1865'''Sid''': But what if we get caught?\
1866'''Harold''': I'm the boss and I say we're doing it!
1867* The boys come to an old police station building and prepare to launch the rockets there.
1868-->'''Stinky''': Hey, maybe we should do this someplace else. We're right in back of an ol' police station.\
1869'''Harold''': Nah, they won't even see us. Okay, I got the rockets.\
1870'''Sid''': I got the baking soda and a half-gallon of vinegar!\
1871'''Stinky''': And I got the Louisiana Hot Sauce.\
1872'''Harold''': Hot sauce? That's stupid! Let's do it!
1873** For added hilarity, the hot sauce bottle is labeled [[https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/heyarnold/images/f/ff/Stinky%27s_Louisiana_Hot_Sauce.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20190717191822 "Jackass Kickin'"]]
1874* The trio then launch a bunch of rockets into the old police station building [[ContrivedCoincidence just as Ernie dynamites and blows up the building]], causing Harold, Stinky and Sid to think ''[[CorrelationCausationGag they]]'' blew up the police station and panic.
1875-->'''Sid''': [[OhCrap We just blew up the police station]]!\
1876'''Harold''': We-we-\
1877'''Stinky''': I-I-I recon we should go to the authorities.\
1878'''Harold''': We can't go to the authorities! WE JUST ''BLEW UP'' THE AUTHORITIES!\
1879'''Sid''': So, what do we do now?\
1880'''All''': AAAH! ''(they scream and make a run for it)''
1881* While sneaking into Arnold's house, Stinky has hot sauce on his pants.
1882-->'''Stinky''': I done fell on my hot sauce and now I got hot pants!
1883* The boys hide in Arnold's basement, but Stinky accidentally blows their cover, then accidentally blabs out their secret. Though Arnold believes there has to be a logical explanation for their story, Harold, Sid and Stinky then come up with an idea to go on the run.
1884-->'''Stinky''': Hey, Arn-- (''Harold covers Stinky's mouth'')\
1885'''Harold''': We tell no one! Not even Arnold!\
1886(''They hide behind some boxes; Sid hiccups'')\
1887'''Arnold''': Is somebody there?\
1888'''Stinky''': Nobody but us here boxes.\
1889'''Harold''': Shut up, Stinky! (''shoves him to the floor and he lands right in front of Arnold'')\
1890'''Arnold''': Stinky?\
1891'''Sid''': Oh, great! Way to blow it, Stinky!\
1892'''Arnold''': What're you guys doing in my basement?\
1893'''Harold''': Nothing! We didn't do nothing wrong!\
1894'''Stinky''': [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial And we certainly didn't blow up the police station with the rockets we stole from Mr. Simmons' class!]]\
1895'''Harold and Sid''': STINKY!\
1896'''Stinky''': Whoops.\
1897'''Arnold''': Hold on. Wait a minute. You're saying that you blew up the police station with the rockets from Mr. Simmons' class?\
1898'''Sid''': (''sobbing'') Yes! Yes! It's all true! We saw the whole thing! (''grabs Arnold's shirt'') The rocket flew over the wall and then the station just fell down in a huge cloud of smoke!\
1899'''Harold''': And now we're wanted criminals!\
1900'''Sid''': What're we gonna do?\
1901'''Arnold''': Well, we could go the police and find out what really happened.\
1902'''Harold''': Aren't you listening, Arnold?! WE ''BLEW UP'' THE POLICE!\
1903'''Stinky''': I recon we gotta skip town.\
1904'''Sid''': Yeah, take it on the lam!\
1905'''Harold''': Change our identities!\
1906'''Sid''': I know! We can go to one of those witness protection programs like they have on TV! They give you a new face, a new name, the works!\
1907'''Harold''': They don't do that for criminals, stupid! They do it for ''the guys who rat out the criminals''!\
1908'''Sid''': Oh, right. \
1909'''Stinky''': I know! We can go down south and live with my grandma. She's got a real big trailer, double wide.\
1910'''Harold''': That's good! Let's do it! We'll head out to the train yard and hop a boxcar! If we can't find your grandma, we'll become hobos!\
1911'''Sid''': Yes! Hobos!\
1912'''Harold''': And we can use these for disguises (''pulls out a fake beard and wig from the costume chest'')\
1913'''Arnold''': This is crazy. Listen to yourselves. You're nine-years-old, and you're gonna disguise yourselves, run away and become hobos?\
1914'''Harold''': That's right, Arnold! And you're not gonna stop us! (''cut to Arnold tied to a chair, bound and gagged and Harold, Stinky and Sid now in old men costumes'') Sorry, Arnold. We just can't take the chance that you'll turn us in. Now let's catch a bus to the train yard. Ooh, I can't wait to be a hobo!
1915* When Grandpa and Ernie see Arnold bound and gagged, they think he's playing "Secret Agent". Eventually, Arnold frees himself by hopping up the stairs and tells Grandpa and Ernie what happened.
1916-->(''Arnold hops upstairs and tumbles into the living room where Grandpa and Ernie are watching a wrestling match'')\
1917'''Grandpa Phil''': Hey there, short man. Done playin' "Secret Agent"?\
1918'''Arnold''': ''(frees himself and untapes his mouth and removes the dirty sock from his mouth)'' I wasn't playing "Secret Agent". I was bound and gagged for ''two hours''!\
1919'''Grandpa Phil''': Oh, that's different. How'd that happen?\
1920'''Arnold''': Harold, Stinky and Sid tied me up because they thought I was gonna turn them in for blowing up the police station.\
1921'''Ernie''': Blowin' up the police station? What are you talkin' about? They didn't blow it up, ''I'' did! It's been slated for demolition for ''months''!\
1922'''Arnold''': Well, they think they did it. And they're so scared, they're going to the train yard to hop a box car and become hobos! We gotta stop 'em!\
1923'''Grandpa Phil''': Oh, my gosh, you're absolutely right! We'll go save 'em! Just as soon as the Battlin' Bishop defeats the Lady Beastmaster! (''The TV shows the'' Beastmaster ''pinning the'' Bishop) \
1924'''Arnold''': (''sternly'') Grandpa...\
1925'''Grandpa Phil''': Oh! I'll just look at the highlights on the news then.
1926* Harold, Stinky and Sid find themselves surrounded by the cops and news reporters, and they feel like they have no choice but to "confess". Then after the whole misunderstanding is cleared up, Mr. Simmons shows up (having seen the whole thing on TV), and he tells the boys that they will be punished for stealing from the science closet, much to Harold, Stinky and Sid's dismay.
1927-->'''Harold''': I GIVE UP! I GIVE UP! I never meant to hurt anybody, ok?!\
1928'''Stinky''': He's right! We were just tryin' to have a little fun!\
1929'''Sid''': ''(sobbing)'' It was an innocent childish prank gone awry!\
1930'''Harold''': We never meant to blow up the police station!\
1931'''Stinky''': But we did!\
1932'''Sid''': WE BLEW UP THE POLICE STATION! ''(wails maniacally)''\
1933'''Arnold''': You ''didn't'' blow up the police station!\
1934'''Harold''': Huh?\
1935'''Ernie''': I did, you nimrods! I dynamited it with my crew!\
1936'''Harold''': You mean you did it and we didn't? And we don't have to be a chain gang?\
1937''(the cops and news reporters laugh)''\
1938'''Mrs. Berman''': ''(runs through the crowd and hugs Harold tightly)'' Oh, Harold! I was so worried, my little pudding! My poor deluded baby!\
1939'''Harold''': Too tight! Too tight, Mom! So does this mean we're not in trouble? ''(The cops and news reporters laugh even harder)'' Uh, Arnold, thanks for saving us. I'm sorry we tied you up and put that old dirty sock in your mouth.\
1940'''Arnold''': It's okay, Harold. And I'm sorry for turning you in to Mr. Simmons, too.\
1941'''Harold''': '''[[BigWhat WHAT?!]]''' You rat! You-you-you turned us in for breaking into the science closet and stealing all the rockets and--\
1942'''Arnold''': Just kidding, Harold.\
1943'''Mr. Simmons''': Actually, Harold, I saw the whole thing on television. And frankly, I can't believe that you violated the sanctity of our science closet. We'll talk about an appropriate but reasonable punishment in the morning.\
1944'''Harold, Stinky and Sid''': Aww!\
1945'''Harold''': I'm tired and hungry and I just wanna eat! '''(FIN)'''\
1946
1947!!93B – Family Man
1948* Everyones constant criticizing of Rockwell's food. Especially at the end when Oskar does it within his earshot and you hear his annoyed mutterings.
1949
1950!!94A – Grandpa's Packard
1951
1952!!94B – Phoebe's Little Problem
1953* Mr. Simmons' constant FreudianSlip of the word "fart."
1954* Phoebe's GetOut to Helga after the latter attempts to tell her to get over it because she farts all the time.
1955
1956!!95A – A Day in the Life of a Classroom
1957
1958!!95B – Big Bob's Crisis
1959
1960!!96 – Married
1961* Nightmare!Arnold is tricked into marrying Nightmare!Helga by use of DuckSeasonRabbitSeason - it's exactly as ridiculous as it sounds.
1962** Once they're settled in (moving in with her parents with an inversion of the BridalCarry), Helga gets called "Olga" by Bob - even in ''dreams'' she can't catch a break!
1963--->'''Nightmare!Bob''': Y'know, if you wore the nametag I got ya, you wouldn't keep havin' this problem!
1964* Helga's dream, by contrast, is a comically over-the-top version where Lila is [[AllLoveIsUnrequited now pining for Arnold after they're married]], Helga is elected President, and then has to go rescue her husband when he's kidnapped. And to do so, she uses her "Global Arnold Tracking System".
1965-->'''Dream!Arnold''': Oh, darling. I'll love you forever!\
1966'''Dream!Helga''': Really?\
1967'''Dream!Arnold''': All the days and nights until the end of time. I'll love the way you laugh, the way you cry. You're the most beautiful girl I've ever known.\
1968'''Dream!Helga''': Go on...\
1969'''Dream!Arnold''': Alright, I'll stop.\
1970'''Dream!Helga''': No, I mean go on. Go on!
1971
1972!!97A – Timberly Loves Arnold
1973* The ending. Arnold spends the entire day agonizing over telling Timberly that he doesn't like her the way she likes him, as her constant insistence of him being her "boyfriend" and her following him everywhere is embarrassing him. However, he doesn't want to hurt her feelings or make her upset. When he finally ''does'' come clean she responds by... going off into a tangent about waffles, heading inside for a snack and cheerfully telling Arnold that he doesn't have to be her boyfriend if he doesn't want to be. She's a first-grader. None of this was THAT big a deal to her to begin with.
1974
1975!!97B – Eugene, Eugene!
1976* Helga reacts in shock to the fact that the play's ending has been changed to have Arnold and Lila's characters end up together rather than Eugene and Lila's characters...but by this point has gotten so involved with the play that she says the characters' names before the actual people's.
1977--->'''Helga:''' What? Betty, I mean Lila, doesn't end up with Eugene? She ends up with Lawrence, I mean Arnold!?
1978
1979!!98 – April Fool's Day
1980* At one point, Arnold helps out Helga who pretends blindness, and when he has walked her home, she milks the situation for all its worth:
1981-->'''Helga''': Well, see you later. Oh, I won't, because of you.
1982
1983!!99 & 100 – The Journal
1984* While reading the journal of Arnold's parents, Grandpa stumbles onto a section that isn't exactly kid-friendly (specifically, the night of Arnold's conception) and sends Arnold away to get food, while he quickly tears out the page.
1985* Grandpa's lottery numbers in the fortune cookie: [[ThirteenIsUnlucky 13 13]] [[NumberOfTheBeast 666]].
1986* At one point Grandpa gets so fed up with Grandma's interruptions he threatens, "Pookie, I got a roll of tape and I"m not afraid to use it!"
1987* During one of his frequent bathroom breaks as he's reading the journal aloud Grandpa imparts some sage advice:
1988-->'''Grandpa Phil''': Never get old, Arnold! Never get old!
1989** Even funnier is Grandma's doing a handstand in the doorway for reasons known only to her and Grandpa just casually swings her out of the way like he's opening a door.
1990* Grandma confusing Miles and Stella's wedding with Prince Charles and Lady Diana's wedding.
1991* After learning how Arnold was born, Grandma says she always believed that Arnold was "[[Music/TheAllmanBrothersBand born on a Greyhound bus going down Highway 41.]]"
1992-->'''Grandpa''': No, Pookie, that's an old hippie song.
1993* Baby Sid crying after Baby Stinky doesn't react to getting hit on the head with a rattle.
1994[[/folder]]
1995
1996[[folder:Multi-Episode]]
1997* "Operation Ruthless" saw Helga sabotage Arnold out of spending time with his love interest, Ruth. While successful, Arnold stated at the end that the challenge of even getting to know Ruth only made her that much more appealing. Next season, he did get to know Ruth better in "Arnold's Valentine", finding her shallow and quickly lost interest. This means, had Helga simply done nothing at the Cheese Festival, the whole TwoTimerDate plot could have been avoided entirely.
1998[[/folder]]
1999
2000[[folder:Meta]]
2001* The Twitter response from Creator/FrancescaMarieSmith, Helga's voice actress, when she was asked about the Jungle Movie before it was officially announced to being in production:
2002--> '''Francesca Smith: '''"I can neither confirm nor deny the existence of a jungle or a movie."
2003* The cover for the storyboard book of "Arnold Betrays Iggy" has a drawing of Arnold and Iggy acting out the climax of ''Theatre/JuliusCaesar'', with an unusually manic-looking Arnold ''stabbing Iggy in the back Brutus-style!''

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