Line #33 Funny/GIJoeARealAmericanHero


1	'''All spoilers are unmarked!'''
2
3
4	!Season 1
5	* The "Weather Dominator" arc has two G.I. Joe robots actually nod to each other after they blow up Cobra robots.
6	* The "Pyramid of Darkness" arc has plenty, especially Snake Eyes breakdancing and Cobra Commander catching Destro and the Baroness making out.
7	** Cobra Commander is preparing to make his demands of surrender to the world but is preoccupied...
8	--->'''Cobra Commander''': Now should we open with a close-up of my face or should I have my back to the camera, then turn around quickly?
9	** Blink and you'll miss it, but even ''Timber'' is dancing when Snake Eyes busts a move.
10	* Flint and his team when first listening to one of the Crimson twins explaining something in "Money to Burn", before turning to the other one; then the first one again, then the second one...
11	** In the same episode, during Cobra Commander's speech about destroying all the "worthless green paper" in the country, a man pays for a used car... drives away, and doesn't get half a block before [[TheAllegedCar the car's tires pop, the engine explodes and the door falls off]]. The guy naturally runs back angrily at the [[HonestJohnsDealership used car dealer]] who hides the money under his hat, which is vaporized by Cobra's machine, which naturally ends up setting the dealer's [[DodgyToupee toupee]] on fire. The disgruntled customer gets the last laugh.
12	* In "Twenty Questions", GI Joe is being investigated by a reporter called Hector Ramirez. At first, Flint doesn't know what to do since Duke is gone and he's been left in command, so he sticks Ramirez in Duke's office while thinking of something. Alpine isn't about to let it go.
13	-->'''Alpine:''' What now, oh semi-fearless leader?
14	** Not to mention after getting invariably captured by Cobra, Ramirez manages to save them from death by offering to interview Cobra Commander. [[MilesGloriosus Naturally he doesn't refuse.]] Cut to Ramirez, obviously bored, sitting with Cobra Commander.
15	---> '''Cobra Commander:''' [[NoodleIncident ...Then after leading a mutiny at my military academy...]]
16	** Duke shows up at the very end of the episode, wondering [[LockedOutOfTheLoop just what happened while he was away]]... and decides he's better off not knowing given that [[EveryoneLaughsEnding everyone is laughing their asses off]] ([[ItMakesSenseInContext thanks to laughing gas]])
17	* In "Haul Down the Heavens", Flint and Lady Jaye are being held captive by Cobra. Flint has a knife in his watch, and all they have to do is lure the Cobra guards into the room. They do this by singing the Marine's Hymn... [[HollywoodToneDeaf badly.]]
18	* The Baroness floats the idea of taking the Joes' families hostage in "Captives of Cobra":
19	-->'''Baroness:''' Tell me, Commander, who in all the world would you never let come to harm?\
20	'''Cobra Commander:''' [[ItsAllAboutMe Me!]]
21	** The end of the second part. The Joes have successfully thwarted Cobra's attempt to use some of the Joes' family members as mind-controlled [[HumanShield Human Shields]], only to discover that the snakes got info on one last G.I. Joe member: Gung-Ho. However, Cobra's attempt to abduct members of his family results in them being... ''[[RaginCajun enthusiastically]]'' [[RaginCajun invited to dinner]].
22	--->'''Gung-Ho clan''': Be careful of little Shoo-Shoo! ''(Shoo-Shoo being the ''enormous gator'' living on their property)''
23	** The Crimson Guards lack of success with Scarlett's family was also hilarious. (Her father and her three brothers are all karate instructors.). Stormshadow had to step in to take them down.
24	* Cobra Commander's response to Flint and Lady Jaye taking out his henchmen so quickly in "Eau de Cobra."
25	-->'''Cobra Commander''': Morons! I have ''morons'' on my payroll!
26	** Then there's who or actually what confiscates the perfume bottle in the end.
27	--->'''Cobra Commander''': A crab! They lost to a crab!\
28	'''Destro''': ''(laughing it up)'' A fitting end to this absurd scheme!
29	* A majority of "Cold Slither", which involves Cobra filming a music video so they can brainwash the viewers.
30	-->'''Destro''': It is taking longer to dress these morons than it took to record the song.\
31	'''Union Rep''': Excuse me, sir, but we are now into overtime and the union rules specifically state-- (''Cobra Commander {{Neck Lift}}s him'')\
32	'''Cobra Commander''': The only 'union' they should be concerned with is the one between their heads and their shoulders!
33	** While filming the video, the Dreadnoks start trashing the set and their instruments. The Union Rep screams, "Oh man, we're going ''way'' over-budget!" The director calls them barbarians and orders them to stop, but Cobra Commander kicks him away and screams, "No, fool! This is what I want! Keep rolling!"
34	--->'''The Baroness''': Now say, All hail Destro and The Baroness!"\
35	'''Brainwashed Fans''': "All hail Destro and The Baroness!"\
36	'''Scarlett''': Repeat after me: "Cobra Commander is a clown!"\
37	'''Brainwashed Fans''': "Cobra Commander is a clown!"
38	** Not only that, but the setup for ''why'' they were making a music video in the first place -- thanks to a GI Joe raid on a storage facility full of treasure, Cobra was flat-broke. Tomax and Xamot were busy showing one of Cobra's bases to potential buyers like realtors when the Joes invaded the base, and there was the surreal sight of a line full of Cobra troopers applying for unemployment ([[FridgeLogic which begs the question of why they weren't just arrested on the spot]]).
39	** The brainwashing manages to work, calling all "fans" to a concert. The result? Breaker, Shipwreck, and Footloose all walking off with their arms out like Frankenstein's Creature.
40	---> '''Breaker:''' Cold slither...\
41	'''Shipwreck:''' Tonight...\
42	'''Footloose:''' We'd better get going...\
43	'''All:''' [[SurferDude Maaan...]]
44	* 'The Viper is Coming' - all of it, especially the reveal.
45	* "The Greenhouse Effect" has some of the Joes watching the titular greenhouse's owner on stage, noticing a display with a painted-on corncob behind them, Airtight proceeds to sneak up on the gardener with it.
46	* In "Lights, Camera, Cobra!", Shipwreck gets attacked by a coyote, but he knocks it into a canyon where it lands in a river. He quips, "[[WesternAnimation/WileECoyoteAndTheRoadRunner Meep meep!]]"
47	** When the Joes pretend they have Torch in a torture device, Zartan rescues the real one. He tries to contact Cobra Commander but is told that the latter is trying to rescue Torch. Torch's reaction?
48	---> '''Torch:''' "Rescue? ''Me?!'' [[ComicallyMissingThePoint Cool!"]]
49	** Also Destro's reaction when he and Cobra Commander believe that the Joes are going to torture Torch in exchange for Shipwreck, whom they have hostage.
50	---> '''Destro (to Cobra Commander):''' "Incredible! They've stooped to using ''your'' tactics."
51	* "The Gamesmaster" has Cobra Commander being more of a ButtMonkey than usual, as he repeatedly suffers humiliation at the hands of the Gamesmaster. Such as drowning in what Lady Jaye thinks is a caramel swamp -- CC rebuts that it's actually butterscotch.
52	** CC got kidnapped as he was preparing to oversee some sort of Cobra military parade (getting dropped through a trapdoor) and replaced by a fake. Destro comes up the platform, irritated that they're doing this, and goes over to the fake CC. He proceeds to wave his hand in front of the fake-CC's face, then taps him on the shoulder -- causing the fake's head to burst out on a big spring! The sheer "WTF?!" Destro has is evident.
53	** Words cannot express the surreal sight of CC, Lady Jaye and the Baroness [[ItMakesSenseInContext all being chased by a giant lawn mower]].
54	** The end of the episode sees Flint and CC bickering over who gets to leave the Gamesmaster's island first.
55	* In "The Traitor, Part I", the Joes are investigating a Cobra base (which has been evacuated due to information given by TheMole) and Shipwreck and Duke walk into a bunk room. There's a magazine titled "Cobra Life" with a picture of Cobra Commander emblazoned on it. Shipwreck peruses it:
56	--> '''Shipwreck:''' What's this...? Hey, they've even got a [[EvilVirtues medical plan!]]
57	--> '''Duke (snatching the magazine):''' If it won't take time out of [[SarcasmMode your busy schedule]], check below!
58	--> '''Shipwreck (sheepishly):''' Uh, aye, aye, Duke...
59	* In "The Traitor, Part II", Cobra is beaten back by the Joes using incendiary devices, much to Cobra Commander's chagrin.
60	--> '''Cobra Commander (to fleeing troops):''' "Stop! What are you doing? Advance! Adva...! (nearly gets hit by fire bomb) [[AttackAttackRetreatRetreat RETREAT! RETREEEEEEAT!]]
61	* "The Wrong Stuff" gives us the image of Cobra Commander [[Film/TheGreatDictator joyously dancing around with an inflatable Earth]] complete with him singing "Lada deeee! Da dummm." etc.
62	** The Dreadnoks are in charge of weapons launching. Probably not the best idea:
63	---> '''Zartan:''' "Fire at will!"\
64	'''Torch:''' [[LiteralMinded "Duh, who's Will?"]]
65	** Buzzer promptly [[DopeSlap dope slaps]] him.
66	* A YMMV-ish example is in "Excalibur", where if you pause it right, you can see the kitten Mutt's holding cover it's mouth when they both see a flood approaching.
67
68	!Season 2
69	* This exchange from "Arise, Serpentor, Arise!":
70	--->'''Mainframe:''' Beach Head, I wanna talk to you about your deodorant.
71	--->'''Beachhead:''' What do you mean? I don't use deodorant!
72	--->'''Mainframe:''' That's what I wanna talk to you about!
73	** Cobra Commander's dialogue after Serpentor threw Dr. Mindbender and Destro out of his way in the final part.
74	--->"Don't be such a cry-baby, Mindbender. If your Emperor is a weakling, we better learn about it now. Come on Slaughter, kick his face in!"
75	** Also in the same episode, Sgt. Slaughter goads Serpentor into a rumble, leading to the Sarge running through the halls of a Cobra Base being chased by Serpentor on a hover platform. The pair bowl through the Dreadnoks, who sit on the floor in astonishment as they disappear, followed by Dr. Mindbender, Destro, Tomax, Xamot, and a bunch of [[EliteMooks Crimson Guardsmen]], all trying to catch up. And then, strolling along casually, Cobra Commander humming "La di da di da", clearly enjoying the complete chaos caused by his usurper.
76	* At the end of "Computer Complications", Zarana is teased by Zartan and the other Dreadnoks over her feelings for Mainframe. She responds by firing a laser pistol at them, without even ''looking'' in their direction!
77	* "Once Upon A Joe" is full of these...
78	** The Dreadnoks (minus Zartan) [[MakesAsMuchSenseInContext fighting over mints]].
79	--->'''One Dreadnok:''' ''(physical attack)'' "BREATH MINT!"
80	--->'''Another Dreadnok:''' ''(attacks the previous Dreadnok)'' "CANDY MINT!"
81	** Shipwreck's [[HerCodeNameWasMarySue story]] filled with so many plot holes that even one of the kids kept pointing them out.
82	*** Not to mention the in-story counterparts of Leatherhead and Wet-Suit having ''the same argument as the Dreadnoks'', with a "[[WesternAnimation/LooneyTunes Rabbit of Seville]]"-style SerialEscalation of weapons, but with military hardware.
83	** The LampshadeHanging of the MacGuffin device at the beginning of the episode:
84	--->'''Shipwreck:''' "What's a MacGuffin device?"
85	--->'''Beachhead:''' "That's Top Secret!"
86	--->'''Shipwreck:''' "You don't know either, huh?"
87	* In "Cobrathon": The comedic stylings of Destro, in a suit, giving a stilted reading off of cue cards. He stammers a bit, warms up, and then, as it becomes increasingly clear that he's ''not'' enjoying this:
88	-->'''Destro:''' ...thank you, ladies and germs! I, uh -- I just slithered in from headquarters -- [forced laugh] -- and boy, does my stomach hurt! But, uh, seriously, folks, a funny thing happened to me on the way to the studio... [screams in frustration] ''NO!'' [pulls out laser pistol] ''No, I cannot continue with this idiotic drivel!''
89	-->[As cameramen run for cover, he starts putting lasers through the last cue card until it splinters and flies apart.]
90	-->'''Destro:''' [sighs, breathing heavily] That's... better...
91	* In "Grey Hairs and Growing Pains", Flint calls several Joes in for a covert assignment, but they make incredibly flashy entrances, much to the amazement of the civilians and Flint's annoyance. Then we get the nature of the assignment:
92	-->'''Beach Head''': You dragged us 3,000 miles just to watch commercials!?
93	** Lady Jaye covering herself with her shirt after being restored to her proper age and remembering too late that she lost her pants when she regressed to a little girl.
94	* "My Brother's Keeper" has a number of them being that it actually had Sgt. Slaughter attending a sci-fi convention with Sci-Fi (the Joe of the same name). One incident in particular takes place at a Cobra base, when the duo end up alerting the Dreadnoks to their presence... who apparently just left in the middle of their lunch break. During the usual shouting of "COBRA!", one takes a bite of the sandwich he's holding before he even finishes the cry.
95	* In "Raise the Flagg!" Leatherneck and Wet-Suit are [[ItMakesSenseInContext having a spat over who gets to use the net while harvesting kelp in the sunken aircraft carrier they're being held prisoner in]] when their captor yells at them to be quiet. Startled, Leatherneck promptly [[SecurityCling leaps into Wet-Suit's arms.]]
96	* In "Ninja Holiday" [[VitriolicBestBuds Leatherneck and Wet-Suit]] are having one of their usual spats... while simultaneously back-punching two assailants.
97	* Quick Kick in "Bazooka Saw a Sea Serpent* knocks out a Cobra mook by opening a door on him, plastering him to the wall behind. He then chops through the Serpent's tentacles with a pair of hedge clippers while cheerfully singing "I'm the Barber of Seville!" in an operatic voice.
98	* In "G.I. Joe and The Golden Fleece" Sgt. Slaughter's and Lifeline's exchange about the former's knowing ancient Greek. The Sarge states that he learned it in college and then angrily asks Lifeline if he's surprised he went to college.
99	** Also, this exchange in the beginning, regarding the same object:
100	---> '''Beachhead:''' "Better shoot that thing down; it might be a new Cobra weapon!"\
101	'''General Hawk:''' "No, we don't know what it is. G.I. Joe does not shoot first and ask questions later."
102	[[DescriptionCut Cut to...]]\
103	'''Dr. Mindbender:''' "Shoot first and ask questions later! It might be a new G.I. Joe weapon!"
104	* "Into Your Tent I Will Silently Creep" has the memorable opening scene where Cross Country uses his country-western music to take out a squad of Tele-Vipers by patching it into their radio equipment at full blast, whereupon the Vipers blast him out of his vehicle. As Cross Country laments they destroyed his tape-deck, the other Joes express relief, with Roadblock stating that "anyone who hates country-western music can't be all bad" and earning laughter from the others.
105	** Dr. Mindbender gets ordered around by Serpentor yet again and walks away while mumbling under his breath "What a spoiled brat, I have created.".
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108	![=DiC=] series
109	* Destro wished to renew his alliance with Cobra Commander once Serpentor was dealt with, but the Baroness had one other request, that he dump Zarana. Destro responded by pressing a button, dropping Zarana through a trapdoor.
110	-->'''Destro:''' "Consider her dumped."
111	* "Granny Dearest" in its entirety is a very funny episode. Metalhead's grandmother comes to visit her grandson, but she has no idea that Cobra is a terrorist organization and that Metalhead lied to her about being in charge. What follows are a lot of hilarious antics and the other members of Cobra being annoyed by the grandmother.
112	* Cobra Commander getting frustrated when his threats aren't taken seriously in "Victory at Volcania, Part 1". It's especially funny when he finds to his ire that his "idle threats" interrupted ''Bowling for Dollars'' and that he's been asked to see to it that it doesn't happen again.
113	* At the end of "The Nozone Conspiracy", Cobra Commander turns on his monitor in hopes that what he sees will make him feel better about his latest defeat. Instead, he finds one of Cobra's nozone commercials, which only succeeds in arousing his ire.
114	* "BIOK"
115	** The titular artificial intelligence in general is very hilarious because of how self-important and arrogant he is, especially when Destro reveals that BIOK's personality is based on that of Cobra Commander.
116	** BIOK turning into a frowny face after the Joes hit him with a computer virus.

Context Funny / GIJoeARealAmericanHero