Line #119 Funny/Fringe


1	!! Per wiki policy, this page is Administrivia/SpoilersOff.
2	----
3	* Charlie's reaction to "Gene" the cow in the pilot episode:
4	--> '''Charlie:''' Well "somewhat" doesn't sound good.
5	--> (Gene snorts)
6	--> '''Charlie:''' Is that a cow?
7	* Walter, Peter, Astrid, and the cow watching [[WesternAnimation/SpongeBobSquarePants SpongeBob]] from the same episode. True to form, Walter comments that it's "quite profound for a narrative about a sponge."
8	* Olivia visits Walter and Peter's apartment in the middle of the night. During the usual conversation, Walter keeps shuffling across the floor towards his son. The slow buildup makes it that much better when he shocks him.
9	** Honestly, half the times Walter opens his mouth.
10	-->'''Peter:''' Are you okay? Did you take something?\
11	'''Walter:''' Psychedelics? No, not since Thursday.
12	* From the episode, "Midnight", while in a nightclub searching for a syphilis infected vampire with a raging fever.
13	--> '''Woman''': Now you're my kinda guy. What is that?
14	--> '''Peter''': It's a hand-held thermal imaging radiometer: It tells me if you're hot.
15	--> '''Woman''': So...?
16	--> '''Peter''': So, you're definitely hot. But I'm looking for someone with syphllis.
17	--> '''Woman''': Ooookay. practically flees
18	--> Peter walks off with the biggest troll face you have ever seen
19
20	** Same episode:
21	--> '''Broyles''': I remember when the suspect being human was a given, not an option.
22
23	* Broyles having to deal with an angsty son and an airheaded mad scientist.
24	-->'''Broyles''': I don’t expect miracles… I don’t know if I expect anything. But I am grateful - for whatever you can do in this case.
25	-->'''Walter''': Sorry?
26	-->'''Broyles''': I was just saying I’m grateful for your work.
27	-->'''Walter''': You’re most welcome! You know I had a fruit cocktail once. In Atlantic City. Mind you, I’m not a fruit cocktail sort of guy!
28	-->'''Broyles''': ''({{Beat}})'' Excuse me. ''(Walks over to Peter)'' We need to discuss your father.
29	-->'''Peter''': Is it the fruit cocktail thing again?
30	-->'''Broyles''': Mhmm.
31	-->'''Peter''': Yeah, he’s been doing that recently. He gets obsessed about certain foods. It’s weird.
32	-->'''Broyles''': We need him to focus.
33	-->'''Peter''': To focus? Mister Broyles… two-thirds of the time, my father’s not even lucid. And in those rare and unpredictable moments of clarity, he rambles on about the foods and beverages that he missed while he was incarcerated in a mental institution for the better part of the last two decades. To say that he’s not focused… Is to say that he’s a bi-ped – which is to say, you’re absolutely right. He’s not focused. And also, it’s not going to change anytime too soon. [[TheRant I’m his son – I’m not a puppeteer. I don’t have a remote control. There’s no master switch I can flick and turn him into the man I wish had raised me, or even somebody I don’t have to baby-sit every day.]] … ''({{Beat}})'' I guess I’ve had that on my mind for awhile.
34	-->'''Broyles''': [[DeadpanSnarker Apparently.]]
35
36
37	* Dunham is negotiating with a suicidal man on a rooftop, who is influencing a number of other people to also prepare to jump. Cut to Peter and Walter talking at ground level, where a woman plummets onto a car behind them.
38	-->'''Walter:''' [[GallowsHumour ...I do hope Agent Dunham meant to do that.]]
39	* Then there's Walter demonstrating how a radiological treatment [[YourHeadAsplode made a woman's head explode]] using "Mr. Papaya" who has been outfitted with big googly eyes and pipe-cleaner limbs. "This is upsetting, 'cause he is the friendliest of fruits." Mr. Papaya goes splat. The Cow moos in surprise.
40	** What makes it even funnier, is Peter turns to the cow with a look of, "Did that cow just say what I was thinking?"
41	** Followed right after by:
42	-->'''Walter:''' It's a far more effective demonstration with living tissue... I have some expendable gerbils in the back room--
43	-->'''Peter:''' ''[[NoJustNoReaction WALTER!]]''
44	* Episode 2x07, "Of Human Action". Walter briefs a tactical squad on how to use the headphones which counteract mind control:
45	-->"My son's teddy bear emits a white noise... As you listen you may feel a sense of deep tranquility, as if you had returned to your mother's womb... Once you are ordered to put on the headphones, do not remove them under any circumstances. If you do, you may die a gruesome and horrible death. Thank you for your attention and have a nice day."
46	* In ''Snakehead'', one of the fanged eel-monsters bites Walter on the arm and latches on, and Walter refuses to remove it because ''[[NightmareFetishist he thinks he's getting high]]''.
47	* Walter explains to a group of young children at a science museum about how the majority of Magellan's circumnavigation expedition died horrible deaths on the voyage. He then rationalizes why it was a success by telling them that if they looked under their beds at night, a monster might devour them, but their brothers and sisters might hear the noise and investigate and [[ForScience learn something about the monster, so their horrible, horrible deaths would not be in vain.]] It's at that point that a nearby adult asks him if he works there and he explains that he is just a member of the museum. The very next scene:
48	--> '''Walter''': They had no right to revoke my membership, no right!\
49	'''Astrid''': Walter, you terrified those kids.\
50	'''Walter''': Children should know the truth.
51	* From the very first episode.
52	--> '''Walter:''' "Only thing better then a cow is a person; unless you need milk, then you really need a cow."
53	* In "The Equation", Walter sings Christmas music in the hopes of trying to remember what is behind the abductions.
54	* Let's just say [[MoodWhiplash half]] of "Brown Betty". One highlight is Rachel singing the episode's first big musical number. In Walter's voice. While in the real world Astrid and Ella look at the singing and dancing Walter like he's lost his mind.
55	%%** Singing corpses. That is all.
56	%%*** No it's not. What makes it even funnier is the fact that Anna Torv ''somehow'' managed to keep a straight face.
57	%%** "Esther Figglesworth."
58	* "Death! Delicious, strawberry flavored death!" [[MoodWhiplash Immediately followed]] by a TearJerker.
59	* "The Ghost Network"
60	** After John Scott's funeral:
61	---> '''Olivia:''' He used me, Charlie. He told me he loved me.\
62	'''Charlie:''' I wasn't gonna tell you this... but he said he loved me too.
63	** Walter is just about to ''drill a hole'' into a man's head and the moment is made even funnier by the epic music build that comes just before an ominous knock on the door...
64	--->'''Freshman: ''' [[MoodWhiplash Is this Poli Sci 101?]]\
65	'''Olivia:''' [[{{Beat}} beat]] [[DeadpanSnarker ...Not remotely.]] shuts door
66	** After said hole-drilling:
67	--->'''Walter''': Oh my, God.\
68	'''Roy''': What's wrong?\
69	'''Walter''': I believe with the right demodulation, you could receive satellite TV for free.
70	* The alternate universe has a hit musical called ''[[Theatre/{{Cats}} Dogs]]''. Just try to imagine that and not laugh.
71	** And ''Film/BackToTheFuture1'' is playing at a movie theatre...''starring [[TheOtherMarty Eric Stoltz]]''.
72	* "Do Shapeshifters Dream of Electric Sheep?" has a stoned Walter giving a lecture to a group of Massive Dynamic scientists, including describing the taste of brain, starting to get undressed and spouting off lines like this;
73	-->'''Walter:''' You, with the red hair.\
74	'''Random scientist:''' It's ''black''.\
75	'''Walter:''' I see red.
76	** Followed by an exchange between Nina and Peter who are observing the whole debacle:
77	-->'''Nina:''' He's a bit unorthodox.\
78	'''Peter:''' He's also tripping his brains out right now. You know that, right?\
79
80	** There was an even better one in that episode.
81	-->'''Walter:''' Did you get everything on the list?\
82	'''Astrid:''' Yep. ''[Holds up porn magazine and portrait of George W. Bush]'' I don't even wanna know.
83	* Season 3, "Entrada" has an excellent new word from Walter as he reacts to Peter's falling into Fauxlivia's, as Walter puts it, "Vagenda". The best part it that it is unclear whether the pun was intentional on Walter's part. The second best part is the reaction shot to the line. It is amazing. [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZT-ZDZl-sPg Just watch...]]
84	* After Peter get's a call about Olivia being trapped in the other world, we have this little nugget:
85	--> '''Bolivia''': "Who was that?"\
86	* {{Beat}}*\
87	'''Peter''': "Apparently I'm eligible for unprecedented savings."
88	* In "Marionette":
89	--> '''Broyles''': "This is Colonel Broyles with the FBI. I need to speak with your Executive Director immediately -- yes, it's urgent. Immediately means urgent."
90	* Third season, first episode: Of course we know that everything Olivia says is true, but when she tells her story to the cab driver, she sounds ''exactly'' like your average [[EpilepticTrees delusional and paranoid]] [[ConspiracyTheorist conspiracy nut]], complete with such classic {{Stock Phrase}}s like "The government is after me!" or (concerning the tattoo) "''They'' must have done this to me!":
91	* Walter finds a serum that could help his brain regenerate. Problem. There are three vials, one would help a cat's brain, one will help a human, and one for chimpanzees, none are labeled. Walter blindly sniffs the serum and temporarily gets a partial chimp brain. Hilarity ensues.
92	* Season 02 Premier (About Walter):
93	--->'''Jessup''': Is he insane?\
94	'''Peter''': Ooh yes.
95	* Astrid in "Os"(s03e14), preparing to dispose of the excess blood Walter's drained from a corpse: "I went to Quantico for this?"
96	* "No, Walter. It's still me." Made all the more funnier by the fact that it actually works.
97	* Bellivia repeatedly [[DirtyOldMan flirting with Astrid]]. Astrid reacts by losing the top buttons her blouse.
98	* Bellivia and Walter getting high...and considering putting Bell's consciousness into ''Gene''.
99	-->'''Walter''': I'd have to milk you.
100	-->'''Bellivia''': We could assign Astrid.
101	* From Bloodline. Fauxlivia is kidnapped, Fringe division finds out that Henry has been driving by her place and go to arrest him... and then we have this exchange.
102	-->'''Scarlie''': Hands on the wheel!
103	-->'''Lincoln''': Get out of the car!
104	-->'''Henry''': Which one is it!?!
105	--> {{Beat}}
106	-->'''Lincoln:''' Get out of the car!
107	* "You may want to escort him, Peter. Yesterday he spent fifteen minutes in front of a utility closet thinking it was the elevator."
108	* Bug Girl flirting with Scarlie, completely ignoring Fauxlivia (who smirking the entire time) and the HurricaneOfPuns that follow. Better Yet? He ends up ''marrying'' Bug Girl.
109	-->'''Charlie:''' Don't even start with me...don't ...
110	-->'''Fauxlivia:''' Bug Girl's got a crush Charlie.
111	-->'''Charlie:''' Bug Girl's got a crush on the fact that I have spiders in my blood, kiddo.
112	-->'''Fauxlivia:''' Come on. Everyone's looking for someone who's gonna like them for who they are inside, right?
113	-->'''Charlie:''' Are you kidding me right now?
114
115	** She proceeds to mock him all the way back to Fringe Headquarters.
116	* 3x19. Peter and Broyles. High on LSD. The later unintentionally. The episode lived up to its name. A bit of MoodWhiplash and MindScrew when Broyles reveals how freaked out he was by his alternate's brutal death...but otherwise hilarious. Highlights include Peter accusing Broyles of being an Observer and Broyles waving and whistling to an imaginary animated bird on Walter's shoulder.
117	** ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-QfAQctCbSg "You're bald ...]] [[StageWhisper I think he's an observer!]]"''
118	** Also, animated Bell, Peter and Walter.
119	--->'''Walter''': "Belly, why are you a cartoon?"
120	--->'''Bell''': "You should ask yourselves that question."
121	--->'''Walter (in a thought bubble)''': "How wonderful!"
122	** The look on Walter's face when Astrid calls him Wallie.
123	* During the Observer's first featured episode, the episode ends with him being a MysteriousWatcher, as usual. Then Peter flies in from offscreen with a haymaker to the jaw and asks who he is and what's going on.
124	** [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ygEuLVGW7ew During the ensuing conversation]], the Observer starts parroting Peter as he speaks, then going ''faster'' than him.
125	--> '''Peter and the Observer''': Apple, bananas, rhinoceros. I want to hold your hand. Lucy in the sky with diamonds.
126	* Walter's back to his old tricks in season 4.
127	--> '''Walter:''' Kennedy, help me!
128	-->'''Lincoln:''' [[AccidentalMisnaming Lincoln!]]
129	* In "Alone in the World," Olivia assures a kid who's afraid of doctors that there's nothing scary about Walter at all. Cue Walter's entrance in full forensic getup, including a blood-spattered lab apron. The reactions of Lincoln, Olivia, and the kid are priceless.
130	* Walter calling Astrid "Claire".
131	--->'''Astrid:''' [[AccidentalMisnaming Really?]] It doesn't even ''start'' with A.
132	* This from "Making Angels."
133	--> '''Fauxlivia:''' Are you flirting with me?
134	--> '''''Walter:''''' [[CrackPairing In your dreams.]]
135	** From the same episode, Astrid's surprised squeal when she meets her alternate. Can I have a pet Astrid please?
136	-->'''Olivia:'''[[UnusuallyUninterestingSight I always wondered why nobody does that.]]
137	** When Peter is a step ahead of Walter regarding what to do with the dead body they've just found and is personally collecting evidence while giving everyone else orders, Alternate Astrid gets a great line:
138	--> "Does he always do all of the jobs?"
139	* In case you were wondering why [[ActionGirl Olivia]] carries the gun.
140	-->'''Lincoln:''' after Peter shoots his attacker in the shoulder Nice shot.
141	-->'''Peter:''' shrugs [[AccidentalAimingSkills I was aiming for her leg.]]
142	* Broyles walks into the lab looking stern. [[NotSoAboveItAll Peter hides the toy he was playing with behind his back.]]
143	* Fauxlivia finally finding out Captain Lincoln Lee's [[EmbarrassingFirstName Embarrassing Middle Name]] after ''six years''.
144	-->'''Fauxlivia:''' What's up, Tyrone?
145	-->'''Captain Lincoln:''' horrified How the hell did you- sees other Lincoln Hey.
146	-->'''Agent Lincoln:''' Hey.
147	-->'''Captain Lincoln:''' Why would you tell her that?
148	** In the same scene. The Franchise/{{Batman}} VS [[WhatCouldHaveBeen Mantis]] debate.
149	-->'''Fauxlivia:''' Oh what, because nothing says badass like a flying rat.
150	* Peter, previously TheScully, is caught in a timeloop in Season 4. His reaction?
151	-->'''Peter''': with a face that just screams "I am so over this alternate timeline shit" [[FantasticallyIndifferent This is gonna start getting annoying.]]
152	* "Unleashed" gives us this conversation while Walter is examining a body and trying to determine what kind of animal killed it.
153	-->'''Walter:''' A configuration close to an eagle... but much, much larger.
154	-->'''Peter:''' Hey. We're looking for [[Series/SesameStreet Big Bird]].
155	-->'''Walter:''' Don't be ridiculous. Maybe a pterodactyl.
156	* "Everything In Its Right Place". Walter and Fauxlivia discussing a mole in Fringe Division:
157	-->'''Walter:'''No one should be above suspicion. Frankly I'm still upset about Nixon.
158	* [[Franchise/StarWars "These aren't the droids you're looking for."]] Oh, ''Walter''...
159	* Walter [[DrivesLikeCrazy drives to a crime scene.]] Olivia and Peter have this conversation.
160	-->'''Olivia:''' Lose a bet?
161	-->'''Peter:''' It was that or flying lessons.
162	* "You're much prettier than your predecessor." Walter says this to the woman who runs ''St. Claire's.''
163	* [[SpontaneousHumanCombustion "You realise that that's a myth, right?"]] says the man from an AlternateUniverse ''and'' an AlternateTimeline who solves crimes about were-hedgehogs, shapeshifting assassins and evil mole babies, once used the amount of adrenalin in a woman's brain to calculate where she died, can operate a doomsday device from the future and has a girlfriend who ''can'' set things on fire with her brain.
164	* Walter making sure it's HIS Olivia rescuing him in the hospital in Over There Part 2.
165	-->'''Walter:''' Olivia...it is you, isn't it?
166	-->'''Olivia:''' Yes, Walter.
167	-->'''Walter:''' Prove it.
168	-->'''Olivia:''' Come on, Walter, we don't have time for this.
169	-->'''Walter:''' Ah...yes it is you. Wonderful. Hi.
170	* Meta example, the bloopers reels. All of it. Particularly anything that comes out of Joshua's mouth.
171	** Fauxlivia and Peter glare at each other after finding out about Fauxlivia's deception. Fauxlivia, gun in hand, reaches for the syringe... [[MoodWhiplash cue cuckoo bird clock going off and both actors cracking up laughing]]
172	** A dead shapeshifter bleeding mercury from his eye... {{Corpsing}} on the autopsy table.
173	** This gem from John Noble:
174	-->[as Walter] I had a fruit cocktail, once, in Atlantic City- [loud gong from offscreen, laughter; he breaks character] What, is this "Series/TheGongShow", or something?
175	** And this:
176	-->'''Noble''': as Walter, horrified The batteries are flat.
177	-->'''Jackson''': No, this is America. Do it again.
178	-->Noble turns away then looks back at him.
179	-->'''Noble''': The batteries are flat.
180	-->'''Jackson''': No, dead. This is America. Do it again.
181	-->'''Noble''': Okay. turns away; both laugh
182	** "''This is really quite embarrassing/'Cause we're not ready to shoot/So I'll just sit here like an a bleep-''"
183	* Broyles meets Walter for the first time.
184	-->'''Broyles:''' through the window Doctor Bishop, hello. I appreciate you coming out tonight.
185	-->'''Walter:''' playing with the carseat warmer I've never seen a feature like this before. It warms your ass. Wonderful. Have you tried it?
186	* Walter comments on the marks on a corpse's wrists, indicating she was either being restrained.
187	--> '''Walter''': Or had a proclivity for sexual bondage? Scientific observation, not a judgement! Some of my fondest memories-
188	--> '''Peter''': [[TooMuchInformation Oh, Walter STOP!]] Wherever that's going, it's just ''[[BrainBleach wrong!]]''
189	* In "6B", we have Broyles' anecdote about the time he met Obama.
190	--> '''Peter''': Not exactly how you'd imagine meeting the President, huh?
191	--> '''Broyles''': I already know him. He doesn't like me. I beat him at ''golf''.
192	* After spending the night with Peter, Olivia's [[BrainBleach reaction]] to discovering Walter walking around the house naked.
193	-->'''Walter:''' Good morning, Olivia! I didn't know you were spending the night. What a lovely surprise!
194	-->'''Olivia:''' Oh no. The surprise is all mine.
195	** Followed by Peter's complete lack of surprise at this.
196	--> '''Peter''': Oh, yeah, it's a Tuesday. He ''always'' cooks naked on Tuesday...
197	* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pQrN_7OCGgQ&feature=g-vrec This promotional video]] for season 2 is... ''amazing.''
198	* Walter's CoolShades at the end of "The Recordist".
199	* [[BigBad Windmark]] may be evil, but it was ''hysterical'' to see [[TheStoic him]] playing casually Simon (the disc-shaped game). It gets even funnier when Broyle walks in and stares, with a completely WTF expression on his face.
200	* The entire scene with Walter's secret stash of Fringe evidence.
201	-->'''Walter:''' My porcupine man!
202	-->'''Olivia:'''You had no idea he was doing any of this?
203	-->'''Astrid:''' I wouldn't have slept at night if I did.
204	** Walter firing an airgun over Astrid's head while Peter watches on and giggles.
205	* In "Through the Looking Glass and What Walter Found There", Walter becoming distracted by the sight of raspberry tarts being put in a bakery window. While recording instructions on how to find the ForgottenSuperweapon.
206	* In "Five Twenty Ten", we learn more of William Bell's treachery.
207	-->'''Walter:''' Belly, you monster!
208	-->'''Peter:''' What is it, Walter?
209	-->'''Walter:''' [[FelonyMisdemeanor My Bowie… he stole it. It’s not enough that he institutionalized me, betrayed our friendship, but he pilfered my record collection as well!]]
210	* Any of Walter's hallucinations in "Black Blotter" that weren't tearjerkers or nightmare fuel. Special mention goes to the extended MushroomSamba sequence in which Walter figures out the password. To the tune of "The Happy Wander".
211	** The fact that it's one gigantic ShoutOut to Creator/MontyPython just makes it even better.
212	-->'''Guy''': What's wrong with him?
213	-->'''Astrid:''' forced smile [[BlatantLies He's fine.]]
214	* The man in "5x08" who cheerfully announces that he has captured [[DamselOutOfDistress Olivia Dunham]] caused a few giggles from anyone even remotely familiar with the series.
215	* In "The Boy Must Live" Walter gets into the infamous tank. Olivia opens the door to check on him... [[NakedPeopleAreFunny and once again sees Walter naked.]]
216	-->'''Olivia:''' Hey Walter, how are-
217	-->{{Beat}}
218	-->'''Olivia:''' Walter... why did you remove your trunks?
219	-->'''Walter:''' They were too restrictive. My body needs to be as free and open as my mind so I can find September.
220	-->'''Olivia:''' Are you feeling sufficiently free and open now?
221	-->'''Walter:''' I am. hands Olivia sopping wet trunks Lets get started.
222	** And also, Olivia's face while holding Walters trunks, clearly not something she wanted to hold.
223	* Donald/September has a sense of humour.
224	-->'''Peter:''' unimpressed Is that it?
225	-->'''Donald:''' You're saying that like we're not carrying technology that can bend space and time into a [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M%C3%B6bius_strip Möbius Strip.]]
226	* The Observer tapping his feet to Donald's jazz music while Windmark gives him a look that can only be described as an emotionless version of "WTF?"
227	* This, between a married Fauxlivia and Lincoln who have aged even if Olivia hasn't.
228	-->'''Fauxlivia:''' You can stop checking out my young ass.
229	-->'''Lincoln:''' affectionately slaps her ass
230	* The "Os" CallBack.
231	-->'''Walter:''' Anti-gravity osmium bullets. Shoot the Observers with this and watch them float away like balloons.
232	-->'''Peter:''' If we shoot 'em, they're dead. Why do we what them to float away?
233	-->'''Walter:''' [[RuleOfCool Because it's cool!]]
234	* Broyles' response to being accused of being "The Dove".
235	-->'''Broyles:''' I'm more of a raven, don't you think?
236	* In "The Firefly," the way Walter reacts when Roscoe Joyce tells him that his only scientific achievement was inventing a strawberry milkshake recipe.
237	* The first season episode "Safe" when Peter has to jog Walter's memory about having a safety deposit box somewhere in Providence, Rhode Island that is about to be stolen. Walter admits he's tried everything to remember where he might have had these safety deposit boxes, but hasn't been able to come up with anything.
238	-->'''Peter''': Hey Walter, if you were gonna rent a safety deposit box in Providence, what bank would you use?
239	-->'''Walter''': Absent-mindedly brushing Gene Providence? That would have to be the Fairemont Savings Bank off of Westminster Street. It's the only one with safety deposit boxes suitable to my purposes. Beat, then Walter looks up Oh. Well done, son!
240	* Walter whispering indignantly to Peter that if he really must eat burgers in the lab he could at least be discreet about it - as he looks significantly towards resident lab cow, Gene. Peter responding with an attempt to take a hugely defiant bite and giving up in disgust as Gene lets out a loud moo of protest.
241	* After watching for a moment as Peter stares thoughtfully after a departing Olivia:
242	--> Walter : She's very pretty, isn't she?
243	--> Peter: (absently whilst still staring) Who?

Context Funny / Fringe