Line #44 Funny/ForbidenFruitTheTempationOfEdwardCullen


1	* The first AN. Edward is their GODD and they want to SEX him gud.
2	* Atlantia wants this one ratty brain called Ellie Mayfair to DIE in PAIN with SHIT ON HER FACE. Sorry, she's not normally such a batch (of cookies?).
3	* Dave and Marie are "very nice and hole some".
4	* IT WAS EWDARD!
5	* "OMG, how is this possible?" i said "Don't ask me I'm just a panda, lol" said Snoofles with a big grin
6	* My knee came up hard against his massive throbbing gigglestick between his legs
7	** Actually, make that the entire fight scene, which has wonderful events such as:
8	*** Edward punching the wall with "his buckly fist".
9	*** Attacks like "I schlepped him hard across the face".
10	*** Edward catching her "waste" (seems quite unsanitary).
11	*** Edward somehow managing to "ham" the main character against a wall.
12	*** Edward's face "was blunt and right heavy in mine".
13	** The aforementioned [[UnusualEuphemism gigglestick]].
14	** Edward's reaction to receiving a GroinAttack: "he drubbed over in pan".
15	** Edward switching from YeOldeButcheredeEnglishe to saying, "And now I am falling in love with thou and it is all such a darn mess!"
16	** Edward's "pippling body".
17	* I broke free and goaded my books and started rugging away to math, but edward hand finished with me.
18	* [[HypocriticalHumor Chapter 4 AN: STOP FLAMING! Chapter 5 AN: can i have some reviews pls.]]
19	* "WTF you freaky goth tudor bitch!" she shouted with her ugly face flapping like a big bag
20	** [=ManWithoutABody=]'s reading makes it even funnier when he adds as a note: "Well, right back at you you [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/House_of_Plantagenet Plantagenet]] whore."
21	* "omg my sweet lady" he cried! "what has this frightful asshole been doing to thee?"
22	* He was smilling in a proper creepy way and looked totaly weird like a greasy frog thing and his [[UnusualEuphemism male genital item]] was not nice like edwards it was like a horible wet mushroom.
23	* When Jacob is yelling at Tia for being a "HALF-BREAD", not to mention he's described as ''jumping up and down'' whilst yelling.
24	* everyone CLANGLED at me and blushing I went to sit on my friends
25	* "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR DOING YOU EVIL RODENT PEOPLE?!!!!!"
26	* From the dramatic reading: during chapter eight, [=ManWithoutABody=] adds a note that reads, [[spoiler: "From self-hating closet case to drug-fueled threesomes with people you've just met, one of whom is a talking panda. It's been quite a night for Jasper."]]
27	* The moment Snoofles introduces himself, [=ManWithoutABody=] tosses up a note that reads what we're all thinking.
28	-->"This story's tone just shifted dramatically."
29	** Especially the later revelation that [[spoiler: he's gay apparently]].
30	* "stop raping me!!" The best part about that bit is, in the dramatic reading, the narrator says it like it's only mildly annoying, like how you might say "Stop poking me!"
31	** [=ManWithoutABody=] makes the line "I went home and uncle larry made me cook his food and suck his cock while he ate his food and then he raped me and hit me with a shoe all night" sound ridiculously casual.
32	* Uncle Larry calling Tiana an "evil bi[t]ch" and then demanding she go and wash his car, ''and she actually goes and does it''. And also, he apparently spanks her for ''half an hour'' before raping her on the bonnet of his "red porche" in ''broad daylight''.
33	* Tiana showed Edward her "naked, heaving BEASTS!"
34	* [=ManWithoutABody=] giving Uncle Larry [[Series/BarneyAndFriends Barney the Dinosaur]]'s voice, as if the character wasn't ridiculous enough.
35	* The word "plimpled".
36	* The various weird-ass euphemisms the author uses to describe penises. "Gigglestick". "Mancarrot". "Lavender man-fruit thing". And, of course, Jacob's "horible wet mushroom".
37	* [=ManWithoutABody=] gives [[spoiler: Caius]] a... very nasally, disinterested voice. It makes his "spooky" dream visitations seem more like court-mandated welfare checks.
38	* [=ManWithoutABody=] also takes ridiculous pleasure in frequently pointing out how in-character Edward and Bella are throughout the fic. He's not wrong.
39	* The principal "cakes" up onstage and announces the winner by ''screaming'' "ATLANATIANA REBECKAH LOREN!!"
40	* Ewdard introducing himself to Tiaa by "carefully [[VomitIndiscretionShot retching]] [[{{Squick}} out a]] [[BodyHorror shaking hand]] and brushing [her] cheek".
41	** It seems to be contagious. Later, Atlantiana "retched out and grabbed his [[UnusualEuphemism hard throbbing male object]]". Not exactly the most attractive thing in the world.
42	* "OMG SWEET LADY! THOU MUST NOT TELL ANYONE!" he screamed.
43	* Tiana says that "my mom dies when I was bored", so either her mom dies every time she gets bored and then [[DeathIsCheap comes back to life]], or Tiana [[SelfMadeOrphan killed her]] [[ItAmusedMe because she was bored...]]
44	* "i was so embarasing". Probably the truest words in the whole fic.
45	* "something in me [[Literature/HarryPotter snaped]]"
46	* The phrase "Holly shite!".
47	* The description of Edward as "[[NoIndoorVoice hawt HAWT HAAAAAAAAWT]]".
48	* The best insult that Tiaa, a supposedly cool and [[DarkerAndEdgier edgy]] vampire, can come up with is "[[BigStupidDooDooHead you freakin SMELL!]]".

Context Funny / ForbidenFruitTheTempationOfEdwardCullen