Line #5 Funny/FateHollowAtaraxia


1	'''Moments pages are Administrivia/SpoilersOff. Administrivia/YouHaveBeenWarned.'''
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3	* The track-and-field trio [[DidntThinkThisThrough makes the questionable decision]] of asking Taiga if Shirou could be dating Ayako. She immediately goes into a [[LargeHam ham-tastic]] [[TheRant rant]] about how Shirou's life is already too much of a RomCom for that. Creator/MikiIto (Taiga's VA) [[ChewingTheScenery chews the scenery]] with ''gusto'' in that scene, especially the parts where she impersonates other characters.
4	-->'''Taiga:''' Eveeen jokes have a limit! WHO do you think live at that house even NOW!? Isn't there Sakura-chan, Saber-chan, Tohsaka-san, and Rider-san!? But if Mitsuzuri-san moves in, I won't lose to some [[ShoutOut love comedy]] [[Manga/LoveHina hot springs boarding house]], NO. Your teacher thinks ''in many ways'' that it winning would be no good! Saber-chan would say, "Welcome home, Shirou" by kneeling respectfully on the floor, and Sakura-chan with an apron on would go, "Senpai, dinner's ready." Tohsaka-san would invite him, "Please hang out with me for a bit, Shirou." And then Rider-san would give a, "Why don't we take a bath together?" and on and on. It's just ABSURD that such flags from this love boarding house harem keep popping up and yet, but even then, ''even then'', Himuro-san…!\
5	'''Himuro:''' Um…\
6	'''Taiga:''' ''[chokes on her own breath]''\
7	'''[[DeadpanSnarker Himuro]]:''' [[GivingUpTheGhost Please do not vomit ectoplasm]], Sensei. It was just a question.
8	** The way how Taiga tries to warn the three girls to keep themselves away from Shirou ''just in case'' is also funny on its own:
9	--->'''Taiga:''' The moment you let your guard down, girls like you will be eaten up by Shirou before you know it!\
10	'''Yukika:''' Eeeeh!?\
11	'''Kaede:''' [[NoJustNoReaction Geh... By Emiya?]] The guy is just...\
12	'''Himuro:''' I must politely decline.\
13	'''Taiga:''' Wha, don't accept it so fast! Shirou isn't that perverted! Even though Kiritsugu-san entrusted me with his upbringing as a big sister, I'd have to apologize in the afterlife if his son became such a playboy!\
14	'''Himuro:''' ''[thinking]'' Fujimura-sensai is in a considerable state of confusion. I give up, where do I go from here...?
15	* Shirou and Rin trying to find Saber's "gekirin", a weakness in Oriental dragons that causes them to go berserk. They end up bringing out [[SuperPoweredEvilSide Saber Alter]] when they cut off her IdiotHair. It has to be seen to be believed: [[https://youtu.be/3jPXQsQjIMc]]
16	** Shirou and Rin proceed to try and find some way to appease Saber Alter and keep her from going on a rampage and killing them. Shirou opts to cook lunch for her [[SeriousBusiness considering this the ultimate test of his 10 years of experience]]. He starts crying when Saber tells him his cooking tastes awful.
17	* Shirou tries to get Ilya's permission to borrow her castle to have a date with Sakura.
18	-->'''Shirou''': I know it's rather sudden, but I want to have dinner here, just the two of us.
19	-->'''Ilya''': ''[heavenly light from above, white pigeons fly, church bells ring]''
20	-->'''Shirou''': With Sakura, that is.
21	-->'''Ilya''': ''[[[CornerOfWoe sulks on her bed]] in [[SuperDeformed SD mode]]]''
22	-->'''Shirou''': ''[silently]'' [[SilentSnarker Sudden mood change.]]
23	* Shirou and Saber discuss bras. It ends with this pronouncement. "Under no circumstances shall I wear any underwear that is not picked by Shirou." Cue Shirou desperately trying to flee... And then, well, Shirou fleeing the scene and Saber chasing after him. And [[ClingyJealousGirl Sakura]] and [[TheTease Rider]] heard the whole thing. And all this caused by [[{{Troll}} Rin]].
24	* Lancer meets the Track and Field club. HilarityEnsues. Highlights are when he completely fails to come up with something sexy to say to Saegusa. "You're the drudge."
25	** Then, they ask what sport he does. "Javelin Throw".
26	** Shirou's {{Silent Snark\|er}}ing is a thing of wonder during that scene:
27	--->'''Shirou:''' That's not "smooth"... that's harassment!\
28	'''Lancer:''' [[IsItSomethingYouEat ...What's that? Weapon? Food?]]\
29	'''Shirou:''' [[VisibleSilence ......]] [narrating] I am now explaining the concept of sexual harassment to a hero of mythological times. This is too much. It's almost as impossible as explaining what Internet is to [[HopelessWithTech Tohsaka]]. And if I do try, I'd probably be taken for a clown.
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31	--->'''Saegusa:''' Javelin throw... so that's like what Kubota-kun does on our team.\
32	'''Himuro:''' Oh? You look like you'd be pretty good at that. What is your record?\
33	'''Shirou:''' ''[to himself]'' Speed of about Mach 2, and distance of around 40 km...
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35	--->'''Shirou:''' [realizing that Lancer is actually getting his way with the ladies for once] [narrating] Congratulations, Lancer. Clapping softly, I get up from the bench. And I'm sorry, Lancer. This hunting session... Heavens may forgive you, but I will not...!\
36	''[cockblocking ensues]''
37	** The icing on the cake is when Shirou advises Himuro about what to do if Lancer starts acting funny: find an excuse to feed him some hot ''dogs'' and make sure to say how they're named afterwards[[note]]In the Ulster Cycle, Cu Chulainn was under a geas to never, ever eat dog meat, or a terrible fate would befall him... indeed, his death was in part a result of having been tricked into breaking that geas[[/note]]. Trolling and a nice reference to Myth/CelticMythology all wrapped into one snarking package:
38	--->'''Shirou:''' ''[narrating]'' So. No more than ten minutes later, I'm still sitting on the bench, basking in the sun.\
39	'''Lancer:''' Kuaaaaaaaaah! Wha-wha-wha-what did you feed meeeeee!?\
40	'''Shirou:''' ''[without missing a beat]'' A refreshing scream resounds throughout the clear sky. Kicking up a dustcloud behind him, Lancer runs toward the port with a speed matching and beating that of a raging bull.
41	* Yet another Bad End...Shirou can reveal to Saber that he also trains with Rider. She gets ANGRY, reacting like she just found out Shirou cheated on her.
42	* Shirou runs into the track-and-field trio at a bookstore, triggering Makidera's SitcomArchNemesis-ness she's going about him. LongStoryShort, they ends up asking how he thinks Makidera would look in a pair of sport sunglasses they saw in a magazine.
43	-->'''Shirou:''' …It'd definitely look like an evil villain straight out of an American comic.\
44	'''Girls:''' ''[StunnedSilence because his answer was a little'' too ''close for comfort]''\
45	'''Saegusa:''' R-Really? That means it's cool… Right?\
46	'''Himuro:''' …I can see what you're trying to say. Yes, a person does look naturally evil with their eyes covered.\
47	'''Makidera:''' Keh! Why can't you just simply say that I'd look cool and elegant like a black panther!!\
48	'''Shirou:''' …At any rate, it'd fit Makidera better than me.\
49	'''Makidera:''' That goes without saying. If I'm the villain, then Emiya would be like a MidBoss.\
50	'''Saegusa:''' What if the two of you have a matching pair?\
51	'''Himuro:''' …Then it'd be like a mafia boss with her henchman.\
52	'''Shirou:''' ''[thinking]'' …Henchman? And… SHE is my boss……?\
53	'''Shirou & Makidera:''' ''[perfect unison]'' [[NoJustNoReaction Uuuu, UUUUAAAaaah!!!]]\
54	'''Saegusa:''' Ah… they're both crying…\
55	'''Shirou:''' I don't want a boss like her!\
56	'''Makidera:''' I don't want an underling like him!\
57	'''Himuro:''' ……Maybe just companions would be better…\
58	'''Makidera:''' That sucks, tooooo!
59	* Saber and Rider discuss cooking. It almost restarts Heaven's Feel.
60	* RuleOfSexy aside, ever wondered why Rider wears a MinidressOfPower with a short skirt as part of her Servant outfit? Well, the answer is equal parts [[FridgeBrilliance logical]] and [[HilariousInHindsight ridiculous]]: Rider's black dress turns out to be a hand-me-down from her sisters, the eternally youthful Stheno and Euryale, and she just outgrew it. Living in an otherwise uninhabited island and having [[BigBrotherBully bullies for older sisters]] meant that Medusa simply didn't have anything else to wear.
61	* Issei in a [[http://i.imgur.com/mg1Yorx.png frilly dress]].
62	* Saber thinks Rin's exercise equipment is 'catalysts' and concludes that Rin must have meant to summon her with them.
63	--> '''Saber:''' ......Too bad, Rin. Looks like the stars had other plans for the two of us. But I can certainly see summoning a muscular Archer with these catalysts.
64	* Saber: "Shirou. I'd like to try on this swimsuit. Will you tell me how it looks?"
65	** Option A: A little lie can save a life
66	** Option B: Hope for the best, plan for the worst
67	* Shirou and Saber go on a swim date to the water park. The SugarWiki/FunnyMoments begin when Saber reveals that, being King Arthur, she is able to WALK on water... But not SWIM in it. Cue Shirou DUNKING A HEROIC SPIRIT into the drink, and then spending the rest of the stay there obliviously embarrassing her as she keeps getting reminded of why she fell in love with him.
68	** Shirou and Saber then meet Archer, and as Shirou and Archer immediately begin hating on each other, Lancer teases Saber. [[ButtMonkey Doesn't end well for him.]]
69	** And how does the entire thing end? Shirou accidentally beats Saber in a swim race without thinking, forgetting [[OhCrap to his horror]] that Saber is a VERY SoreLoser. Cue 30 laps of swimming hell and Shirou swearing that he'll never forget this ever again.
70	--> 'My muscles are screaming in agony, my endurance sapped to rock bottom. I'm sure a vital part of me died on the inside that I'll never be able to get back.'
71	* Lancer and Archer having a little fishing contest. Which Archer is winning due to ''[[MundaneUtility projecting a cutting edge, super expensive fishing rod.]]'' He proceeds to childishly taunt Lancer all the while, who can only sulk. Shirou wisely chooses to just back away, praying that Archer never has cause to change his title to "Angler."
72	-->'''Shirou''': ''(narration)'' I never knew that adults reverting to childishness could be so unpleasant to watch...
73	** And then ''Gilgamesh'' joins in, recruiting a [[FriendToAllChildren team of kids]] and equipping them with solid gold, SuperPrototype fishing rods. Archer and Gil engage in an [[HamToHamCombat enthusiastic]] fishing duel while a sobbing Lancer just wants his peace and quiet back.
74	-->'''Shirou''': ''(narration)'' Alas... Lancer's lost paradise will stay forever in my memories----
75	* Rider calmly discusses her defeat and death, including being trapped in a nightmare by her own powers being reflected. Then Shirou asks her what the nightmare was, and she hesitates to answer, at first, and then tells him she "has changed her mind". It was was her elder sisters making fun of her for [[HugeSchoolgirl being tall]].
76	* Tohsaka the [[HopelessWithTech functional Luddite]] meets her greatest enemy: an electronic bidet. If you're familiar with Japanese toilets, you'll know why she kept covering her butt for most of her rant to Shirou about the appliance after using it for the first time.
77	-->'''Rin:''' I can't believe it. Who in the world, where in the world, what race of people could possibly think to invent such a satanic device!? Tch, modern engineers are not to be taken lightly. That creativity, that effectiveness, truly, it's the work of a god, or a demon, or...!
78	** Misery loves company, so Tohsaka goes and gets the only person who's as bad as her with technology to use the bidet -- Saber.
79	* When Shirou invites Illya to the pool, Sella immediately objects, saying that it's not proper for a lady like the daughter of the Einzbern to go to a public place like Waku Waku Splash. Illya easily counters this by saying she [[ScrewTheRulesIHaveMoney will rent the whole place for the day]], thus making it "private" and invalidating the point Sella was trying to make.
80	** When the above argument fails her, Sella changes her strategy and instead says that it's not proper for someone like Shirou to accompany her to an event like that. Illya nonchalantly declares him her "future consort", thus making it suddenly okay for him to escort her and again foiling Sella's attempt to cancel the date. Shirou isn't able to say more than an incredulous "what?" at the WackyMarriageProposal.
81	** Sella doesn't desist and has an EurekaMoment when she realizes that they're having this conversation at Shirou's place. She then cleverly says she will stop opposing the idea if someone else accompanies them. Neither Shirou nor Illya see a problem with it and they agree with the condition, which is when ''every'' girl in the house other than Taiga appears out of ''nowhere'' -- with Tohsaka ''literally'' falling down from the ceiling -- to invite themselves to the event while giving totally transparent excuses to justify their eavesdropping. As much of a {{Jerkass}} as Sella is, you've got to hand it to her: using Shirou's ChickMagnet-ness to recruit a [[TitleDrop quartet]] of able and willing {{Moment Killer}}s was a ''brilliant'' move.
82	* Two Bazett-related {{brick joke}}s:
83	** At midnight, Bazett goes into a cheap noodle shop, orders two portions, and eats them both. Later, Shirou hears a rumor about a ghost who visits the noodle shop, orders for two, and disappears.
84	** After raiding a house, Avenger gets soaked with milk by a trap activated by leaving. Bazett is endlessly amused but notes it seems like a pretty harmless trap. When Shirou and company go to clean Rin's mansion, they notice some spilled milk by the door.
85	* It turns out the events of ''Literature/FateZero'' have left Saber traumatized enough to affect her eating habits:
86	--> '''Shirou:''' Wait, Saber. are octopuses really a no-go? You ate them just like that until now.\
87	'''Saber:''' D-Don't tell me... I never thought that this "octopus" you speak of is... the demonic fish itself?! ... What is this... The netherworld's evil god that wouldn't die no matter how much I cut it... was what I tasted back then...!
88	* Rin and Shirou are trapped in a chest made by Zelretch himself that is BiggerOnTheInside thanks to fucking with causality (as Zelretch is wont to do). Shirou discovers Rin's cellphone and tries to make calls on it...only the calls are connecting to ''other universes''. This goes from awkward to hilarious when he tries calling Rin's house and a Future!Rin answers. Except--
89	--> '''Shirou:''' ''[narrating]'' ...It was definitely Tohsaka's voice coming over the telephone, but something about it was inconceivable. As though it was... [[OOCIsSeriousBusiness lovestruck]]. [[SickeninglySweethearts It reminded me of lovers who shamelessly embrace each other in public.]]
90	** This Future!Rin has apparently completely dropped the "{{tsun\|dere}}" from her routine. The current present Rin starts getting ''jealous'', because somehow neither one realizes who the other is. This reaches its logical conclusion when Future!Rin takes some of Rin's {{tsundere}} threats against Shirou to the letter and warns her, in no uncertain terms, that [[{{Yandere}} she will hunt and kill her if she hurts]] ''[[{{Yandere}} her]]'' [[{{Yandere}} Emiya-kun]].
91	--->'''Shirou:''' [[VisibleSilence ..................]] ''[narrating]'' Too much love can hurt. Seriously, Parallel World Me. What the hell happened? In what way? By what means? How did you get Tohsaka Rin to fall that madly in love with you...!?
92	*** This statement also becomes HilariousInHindsight when you consider Rin's personality in the Epilogue of the [[Anime/FateStayNightUnlimitedBladeWorks UBW anime]].
93	** After that, Rin changes tactics and asks her AlternateSelf what does she even see in a guy like Shirou. Big Mistake.
94	--->'''Rin:''' ...So you love him, but how should I put it, what's so good about him? Do you just have bad taste? Emiya Shirou's quiet, unsociable idealism just doesn't understand how a woman's heart works. He's not that great of a catch. Seriously, why are you so into him?\
95	'''Shirou:''' ''[to himself]'' I want to object, but I'll probably just end up getting kicked, so I'll keep quiet for now.\
96	'''AU!Rin:''' ......\
97	'''Rin:''' ...Hey. Why are you so quiet? Give me some kind of rebuttal, you.\
98	'''AU!Rin:''' ''[laughs faintly]''\
99	'''Rin:''' H-Hmph, so it's not that much after all. With Shirou's main points, even you--\
100	'''AU!Rin:''' --Yes, I love everything about him.\
101	'''Rin:''' [[StunnedSilence ...!]]\
102	'''Shirou:''' ''[narrating]'' They were only words, but... they deeply rattled the Tohsaka over here.\
103	'''Rin:''' W-Wha...\
104	'''AU!Rin:''' I told you, his oafishness, his thickheadeness, the way he blurts out whatever he thinks, his childish idealism, the way he ignores his wounds, all of it. You should be more honest with yourself, too. Worded a different way, didn't you just admit that you love him in spite of all his faults?\
105	'''Rin:''' Whaaa...! Stop messing around! I seriously can't stand those things--\
106	'''AU!Rin:''' Sure, sure, we'll go with that. But you know, Miss, I don't "stick with him through thick and thin." I protect him when he struggles, lend him a hand when it really counts, and only see the best in him. So I'll declare it now. Rather than becoming happy together, I will, with no questions asked, and more than anyone else, give him happiness.\
107	'''Rin:''' Gah-- O-Of course, I already knew... n-no, I mean, why would I ever go through that much trouble for him!? T-T-Too bad! I see your point, but I don't think Emiya-kun is someone who needs that much.\
108	'''AU!Rin:''' Is that so? Then I'll do as I like. You might think that, but to me he's the greatest partner I could ask for. ''[louder]'' Say, isn't that right, Shirou? We'd never be ashamed of our mutual love. So, for that reeeason, reward me with a biiig kiss~❤\
109	'''Rin:''' Fine, then! Take as many of him as you like! Mutual love!? Greatest man!? With such a naive person, you'll have nothing but trouble! Hmph! Heroes and princes on white horses are just dreams! [[MythologyGag Drown in your ideals and die...!!!]] ''[channels prana into her cellphone and breaks it into pieces]''
110	** And the icing on the cake. After destroying the phone, Rin asks Shirou if he recognized the girl on the other side of the line from his acquaintances in their home universe. Shirou wisely says [[ExactWords he's never seen her face]] and she advises to be careful if he ever meets her and assures him that "that woman" is major bad news for him. The {{irony}} doesn't go un-{{lampshade\|Hanging}}d.
111	--->'''Shirou:''' ...I see. Got it, I'll bear that in mind. ''[narrating]'' I enthusiastically mean it as well. After all, it was a warning from the person herself.
112	** MAGICAL GIRL KALEIDO-RUBY!
113	*** And then Issei and Ayako walk in and catch her dressed like that...
114	** And before all this even happens, Shirou encounters the chest... And finds Rin inside. He immediately closes it in disbelief. He opens it again. She actually then speaks to him. ''Then Shirou closes it yet again.'' [[RuleOfThree It takes him a third try before he properly lets Rin out.]] He just finds the whole situation that unbelievable.
115	** How they actually left the box. They've been trapped for so long, Rin has to go to the bathroom. A painfully embarrassed Shirou offers to project a bedpan, only succeeding in infuriating Rin to the point of actually grabbing and activating Ruby.
116	** The incident that made Tohsaka stash the Kaleidostick in the magical chest and swear to never get it out again. Six years ago, Rin hiccuped at the worst possible time while singing a song in front of her classmates who laughed at her for it. Embarrassed as she was, the 11-year-old magus thought of impressing her friends with a mind-blowing repeat performance by using the Kaleidostick to [[InstantExpert access the abilities]] of a "Tohsaka Rin who is good at singing from a parallel universe". Being the JackassGenie that it is, Ruby gave Rin ''exactly'' what she asked by granting her the skills and personality of an AlternateSelf of hers who happened to be a [[GenkiGirl super perky]] IdolSinger. While still in her "Prim Trance", Rin went into town and all but hijacked a live performance in a park, jumping onto the stage and enthusiastically singing "like an idol from the eighties" for a numerous and very surprised audience, many of them kids around her age. Afterwards, Rin woke up in her room back to normal and with no memory of the incident except for a NoteToSelf telling her to NEVER contract Ruby again. From that day and on, all her friends started to avoid her while looking at her with a mix of second-hand embarrassment and genuine awe and she didn't learn the reason until she caught one of the fleeing kids and forced the truth out of him.
117	* During their encounter with the Einzbern master, Avenger helps Bazett in the most [[AxCrazy "Avenger"]] way possible.
118	--->And with her frozen there as that monstrous thing came bearing down on her, I personally think it was awfully nice of me to give her a little push out of harm's way via a flying kick to the side.
119	* Shirou discovers Rin and Saber looking through his room in search of his PornStash. They find something, and Saber is somewhat irritated when [[TheGadfly Rin]] observes that it doesn't have any blondes, but then Shirou comes in and tells them it was a gift from Shinji he hid, and Rin storms off in a huff. Shirou is relieved that they didn't find his ''actual'' PornStash, which is implied to include blondes.
120	* Caster forcing Shirou to accompany her as she stalks Kuzuki-sensei who's walking around the town with Fuji-nee, despite Shirou's insistence that Fuji-nee is literally the last woman in Japan Caster would need to worry about her husband having an affair with.
121	** Taiga gets a SneezeCut when Shirou says the above. Then he speaks similarly about Neko-san whom Shirou doesn't deem a danger to Caster's marriage either, despite her showing no small amount of admiration for Kuzuki when they met for the first time in another scene.
122	** Shirou feeling embarrassed when a kid points and laughs at the stalking duo. Caster threatens the kid to go away or get [[ForcedTransformation turned into a pig]], and given that Medea could in fact know how to do it (she ''is'' [[Literature/TheOdyssey Circe's]] niece after all), Shirou steps in to defuse the situation.
123	** When Shirou finally decides that he had enough and tries to pull a ScrewThisImOuttaHere, the dignified Princess of Colchis ''[[LegCling holds onto his leg for dear life]]'', begging him to not leave her to stalk Kuzuki alone. To make the moment even more pathetic, they were at the mall at the time, and being physically the weakest Servant, this meant that Caster got dragged on the smooth floor for a bit before Shirou gave up on leaving.
124	** This small moment between Shirou and Caster:
125	--->'''Caster:''' ……Whatever happened to you? I seem to recall you having more of a charming docility to you, boy.\
126	'''Shirou:''' ''[pointedly]'' By which you mean gullibility?\
127	'''Caster:''' ''[avoids looking at him in the eye]''
128	** Shirou gets tired of Caster calling him "boy" and complains about it. Caster then hereby promotes him to "junior."
129	** When Caster confesses that she drafted Shirou as her stalking companion because she somehow got the idea that she would look like a mistress obsessing over Kuzuki if the police stopped her, Shirou tells her that she only has to say she's the guy's wife because they're in fact legally married. Getting called "Kuzuki Medea" gets Caster into what can only be called a ''joygasm'', twirling around in utter happiness while drawn in SuperDeformed style.
130	** Shirou and Caster follow Taiga and Kuzuki into a cafe, where Shirou is forced to explain to the waitress that they need the farthest table from the latter's with only gestures so they won't notice them. By some miracle, he manages to do it.
131	** Shirou's dry surprise at seeing [[NewJobAsThePlotDemands Lancer with a new part-time job]].
132	** Lancer and Shirou share a moment of solidarity over Caster's adorable PointedEars.
133	--->'''Caster:''' I don't care, just get your dirty fingers off me!\
134	'''Lancer:''' Whoops, my bad. I wanted to try feelin' those ears, just once.\
135	'''Shirou:''' I know what you mean, Lancer.\
136	'''Lancer:''' Right?\
137	'''Caster:''' ''[her ears instinctively twitch]''\
138	'''Shirou and Lancer:''' ''[in amazed unison]'' They moved!
139	** Then Caster complains about the treatment:
140	--->'''Caster:''' How rude. Souchirou-sama is the only one who can touch my ears!\
141	'''Lancer:''' ''[smirks]'' ''[knowing tone]'' Ooh? He's touched them, has he?\
142	'''Caster:''' ''[blushes]'' ''[smiles to herself in reminiscence]'' ''[blushes some more]'' ''[suddenly remembers she's got an audience]'' Shut your mouth, you stray mutt! Mongrel! Cur! Dogs that can't be tamed should be chopped up and used as shark bait!
143	** Striped service?
144	--->'''Caster:''' Souchirou-sama, [[ItMakesSenseInContext your underwear is striped]]!\
145	'''Shirou:''' Listen, [[ThisIsWrongOnSoManyLevels I shouldn't even have to tell you what's wrong with that]].
146	** [[TheGadfly Lancer]] pretends to confuse Taiga with Kuzuki's wife while knowing that Caster was listening in on them. Taiga's surprisingly embarrassed reaction rubs Caster in all the wrong ways:
147	--->'''Caster:''' ''[summons Rule Breaker]'' ''[through gritted teeth]'' [=TthAaaTt WwooOmAaaAaN=]\
148	'''Shirou:''' The table, you're stabbing the table! Put it away! Put away that strange blade!
149	** Lancer and Taiga start to discuss fishing. [[FirstPersonSmartass Shirou's narration is on point]]:
150	--->With that, Lancer and Fuji-nee start talking about the different kinds of black porgy caught at the harbor, enthusiastically discussing different methods to gut them and drain the blood. The complexions of nearby customers turn pale in an instant.
151	** How the whole thing ends:
152	--->So as not to be noticed, we slip out from the front entrance.\
153	--But as that was impossible, we stealthily creep across the floor, towards the washrooms, and tumble out from a narrow window, thus putting an end to our surveillance mission.
154	* TIGER DOJO - THE MOVIE! You will ''die'' laughing!
155	-->'''Rider:''' ...What kind of movie was that, Shirou?\
156	'''Shirou:''' Don't ask me. I honestly don't know. ''[internal monologue]'' I wonder if it's alright to make a movie like that? No, is it OK to show such a movie? I wish the movie theater would be a little more conscious of the fact that it's expected to offer entertainment. Or rather, I'd like them to stop showing this right now. Before there is a second or third victim!!
157	** Also {{the cameo}}s by [[VisualNovel/{{Tsukihime}} Satsuki, Len, Kohaku and Hisui]].
158	* Shirou accidentally sells Tohsaka on the idea of having a date at her place's unused private pool after describing to her a romantic scene from a movie. Being this {{T\|sundere}}ohsaka, she tries to agree to it without showing too much enthusiasm by making it look like she's only permitting it as a teacher's reward to her apprentice. Shirou naturally misses the subtext and tries to turn the potential date into an event for the whole gang, which of course gets Tohsaka angry at him.
159	-->'''Rin:''' That's not it at all, you moron!
160	** The icing on the cake in that scene is Shirou enthusiastically talking about doing all the pool-related activities that "can't be done in public without bothering others" while mentally enumerating stuff like having a barbecue, playing with inflatable toys, and so on. Problem is, Tohsaka is not a mind reader and Shirou's words were misleading enough to make her think he was planning on having a [[TwoPersonPoolParty pool-themed]] ten-person ''orgy''. [[DiggingYourselfDeeper He even tells her that they'll take care not to disturb her as she works while using her pool.]]
161	--->'''Shirou:''' So, doesn't it sound great?\
162	'''Rin:''' LIKE HELL--! WHAT ARE YOU THINKING, YOU ANIMAL!!!!!?\
163	'''Shirou:''' ''[gets viciously punched on the side of the head]'' ''[falls om the scorching asphalt]'' Haah…! So hot… and pain…ful…!\
164	'''Rin:''' In my garden… Right in front of me… What the hell is that!? I can't believe it, you honorless reservist!
165	** Notably, even with the gross misunderstanding, Tohsaka does ''not'' cancel the plans outright and merely forbids Shirou from inviting anyone else. He's confused and futilely asks for an explanation, but the readers are likely just laughing to themselves that Miss Honor Student is [[CovertPervert in fact on board with the idea]] of a TwoPersonPoolParty.
166	*** Made even funnier right afterwards, when Rin starts talking about going to Waku Waku Park on a date and tosses some bold, lewd insinuations at Shirou, with the clear intent of getting him to agree to the arrangement. Forget being a CovertPervert, Miss Honor Student has fully embraced her sexuality at this point. Obviously, Shirou is still too much of an idiot to understand what's going on and STILL asks if it's okay for him to bring Saber along. Rin's patience is akin to a saint's at this point.
167	** The scene also has a quick BokeAndTsukkomiRoutine moment where Shirou hands her glasses over to Tohsaka so she can explain herself properly. She thanks him for it before putting them on and taking her trademark lecturing pose, before realizing what she's doing.
168	* Shirou meets Gilgamesh in the cavern of the Greater Grail, which Gil is exploring as part of his "kingly duties". This is Gilgamesh in his adult form that Shirou is familiar with, not child form. Despite adult Gilgamesh [[KnightOfCerebus being the herald of disaster]] whenever Shirou met in the past, this time he treats him as more of an annoyance than anything else. After a bit of brief conversation, Gil goes back to exploring...and gets stuck in the mud pouring out of the Greater Grail, even though Shirou warned him not to touch it. Then, in a scene mirroring the climax to Unlimited Blade Works, Gil throws one end of Enkidu to Shirou to help pull himself out. When Shirou decides to leave rather than help, Gil calls Shirou out for ignoring his "duties as a citizen". Shirou snarkily responds that maybe he should go get Saber's help, which Gilgamesh hastily turns down, then begs (well, as close to begging as Gilgamesh ever gets) Shirou not to tell her.
169	* Issei and Shinji have a fight. It ends with Issei causing Shinji to sulk, so Shinji gets his vengeance...by bringing a horde of girls to school, and taunting Issei with them. Iseei's response is to run after Shinji. "Third year. Three months till graduation. For the first time in his life...Issei was tardy."
170	* The scene aptly titled "Rider, reading, and the jealous Sakura":
171	** Shirou is sitting in Rider's room reading. Midway through the scene, Sakura comes in and has something of a minor freak-out at the realization that her sorta boyfriend is awfully comfortable spending time alone with her super-hot Servant in her bedroom. Cue Rider and Sakura having an [[MundaneMadeAwesome epic]] eyes-only conversation of, essentially, Sakura asking Rider if she's trying to steal her man, making Rider realize how the whole thing looks like. Shirou naturally completely misses the subtext and becomes very confused when Rider starts apologizing to Sakura and the latter basically drags him out of the room.
172	** The scene culminates in Sakura and Shirou talking just outside Rider's room and then explaining she TOTALLY forgot what she was going to say. The best part is how ''incredibly'' frantic Sakura gets every time the still confused and very oblivious guy tries to return to Rider's room, as if fearing that [[CluelessChickMagnet Shirou]] and [[MsFanservice Rider]] alone in a room were some instant recipe for sexy times.
173	* Shirou worries about how Shinji is holding up in the Matou Residence with Sakura rarely there anymore. Shinji, while showing his fear of Sakura, manages to coax Shirou into helping him find her diary.
174	** While Shirou searches Sakura's desk, Shinji resolves to search her... closet. A little while later, he is found muttering "outrageous" to himself while examining Sakura's underwear sizes.
175	** Eventually, they find Sakura's "assassination notebook" -diary, where she has written notes about her brother's and grandfather's misbehavior in Matou Residence's daily life. The diary looks to be right out of a horror story as her statements go from "I'll tell him about it next time" to simply "unforgivable".
176	** Eventually, Shirou and Shinji try to escape the room in panic, only to encounter [[spoiler:[[SuperpoweredEvilSide Dark]]]] Sakura and end up in a scene that wouldn't have looked out of place in [[VisualNovel/FateStayNight the original Heaven's Feel route]].
177	* Souichirou, [[{{Tykebomb}} somehow]], teaches an ethics class.
178	* While talking with Lancer and Kid Gil under the bridge the topic somehow becomes about Shirou preferring the kid version of Gilgamesh over the adult, which Lancer misunderstands for something else. After Shirou vehemently denies that, [[HypocriticalHumor Kid Gil states that he isn't one to talk due to his reaction to Illya back when they had a pool party]].
179	--->'''Kid Gil:''' That's rude. You're the last person I want to hear that from, Onii-san. That one time you were blushing from the figure of Illya-san in a swimsuit is a serious crime.
180	--->'''Shirou:''' Guh, how does the King of Heroes (child) know that...!!!?
181	* In a flashback to when she was alive, Rider/Medusa [[MundaneUtility used the people she]] [[TakenForGranite turned to stone]] [[BlackComedy as poles to hang laundry from]].
182	* Rin realizing mid-conversation that the whole reason why she dropped everything in London to return to Fuyuki in a hurry was because she received a SOS letter telling her that "Emiya-kun" needed her help. Only then the {{Tsundere}} noticed the kind of message she was sending about how important he is to her and [[VerbalBackspace quickly corrects herself]] by saying it was because dealing with problems in Fuyuki falls under her responsibility.
183	** The circumstances of the letter are a SugarWiki/{{Funny Moment\|s}} on their own. In a previous loop (or on that same day, depending on how you play), Shirou wondered aloud if Sakura could mention in her regular correspondence with Rin that something seems to have restarted the Holy Grail War despite none of the Servants really wanting to fight. However Shirou takes it back when he realizes -- also aloud -- that having Rin back in town could probably cause more problems than it would solve and tells Sakura to forget it until they hit the GodzillaThreshold. The kicker is that [[{{Troll}} Sakura]] dutifully wrote down ''everything Shirou was saying'' and sent it verbatim to London, making it look like Shirou was pretty much telling Tohsaka that "Yeah, we've got some trouble here, but don't bother to come back because you'd get in the way", which ''of course'' incensed Rin more than enough to fly to the other side of the world ASAP. Thankfully for Shirou, memories get blurry on the details from one cycle in the GroundhogDayLoop to the next.
184	* Illya: Loli Grail.
185	* Some questions in the "Quiz Ogre" minigame are worth a chuckle:
186	** [What is the Tohsaka family motto?]
187	--->1) Always clumsy.\
188	2) Always elegant.\
189	3) Always miniskirts.
190	** When the game asks you "Which of these things is not like the others?" between Sakura, Rin and Leysritt, you could be inclined to answer the latter because the other two are human mages and even sisters while Liz is an ArtificialHuman instead. However, the correct answer is "Rin." Why? The game doesn't say, but the most likely possibility is the BuxomBeautyStandard.
191	** There's also the fact the game makes fun of you for passing the quiz.
192	--->'''Quiz Ogre:''' Splendidly done! Just what I expected from a Fate [=PhD=] like you…! Now, in recognition of your vast store of useless knowledge, allow me to bestow upon you this reward.
193	* After Shirou agrees to teach Caster how to cook, she drops by. She knocks, but when Shirou opens the door, nobody's there. So he closes the door and turns around to see Caster observing the shoes at the entrance. It turns out Medea was [[ItsAllAboutMe so impatient]] she dematerialized, [[TheArchmage casually set the Bounded Fields at the Emiya Residence to ignore her]] and phased past Shirou... and then stopped to check on the shoes to see if Sakura was home, [[CallBack not wanting her to know of the disastrous earlier expedition]].
194	** And then, Saber drops by the kitchen to find Shirou and Caster. While hostile at first, a contrite Medea convinces her she's only dropping by to learn to cook. After a while, [[BigEater a hesitant Saber asks what they're cooking]].
195	* Shirou spots Rider pacing around in front of the shed and assumes she wants to use one of his bikes to sneak out. He opens the shed for her and lets her use Number Two, the bike he uses for groceries... except she wants Number One, his racing bike. She wants to put her Riding skill to some good use, you see? But Number Two can only go so fast and Number One is the only other bike that can accomplish she what she wants! Shirou understandably tells her no and to use Number Two, but when she still refuses, he suggests that maybe she could use Raiga's motorbike... but she'll have to take a course and get a bike license first. Cue the ImagineSpot of a chibi Rider on a motorcycle getting pursued by the cops (and Shirou realizing that she'd probably outrun the cops anyways). Rider instead [[DistractedByTheSexy tries to appeal to Shirou in another way]]... until she realizes Sakura was watching them (the whole time, in fact) and quickly acts as if nothing happened and accepts having to use Number Two. Afterwards, Shirou tries to assure Sakura that it [[NotWhatItLooksLike isn't what she thinks]].
196	* The finale is mostly a bittersweet and yet epic sequence, but it also has one very funny moment:
197	--->'''Avenger:''' Sure, 'course I want to continue living for a bit longer. But you know, I won't be satisfied if I don't right what's wrong. This wish is wrong, right? So I have to stop it. I'm a ''hero of justice'', y'see. I value others who I don't even care about over myself.\
198	'''Narration:''' Dumbstruck, she stares at me. Believe me, the feeling's absolutely mutual.\
199	'''Bazett:''' --- I can't believe it. Are you sane?\
200	'''Avenger:''' Hm ... yep, looks like I'm really sane and serious about this. Seriously, this guy's a total monster.
201	* In an extra epilogue, Bazett and Caren convince Rin to give them a few minutes alone with him. She leaves the room, urging him to "bear with it." After making a [[DeadpanSnarker sarcastic remark]] (which reminds the two women of a certain Servant), Shirou gets a bad feeling and [[ScrewThisImOutOfHere tries to make a break for it]], only for Caren to use her Holy Shroud to restrain him. In the next scene, Shirou is represented with Avenger's sprite. They'd stripped him down and used an oil pen to cover his skin in copies of Avenger's tattoos.
202	** Later in the epilogue, Bazett and Shirou play a game of Rock Paper Scissors. One of the rules is that if one of them waits to see what their opponent uses before picking their move, they automatically lose. Bazett waits for Shirou to play, [[MundaneUtility then uses Fragarach to retroactively go before him, thus winning the game.]]
203	* Caster and Rider get into an argument started by Caster saying how much she does around the house. Saber attempts to defuse the argument, and succeeds...because Rider and Caster turn their focus to chewing out Saber for [[PrettyFreeloaders not doing any work]].
204	* Shirou searches for a missing jacket of his, and finds that Sakura is ''[[CargoEnvy cuddling]] it'' in her room. He says her name without thinking, and she turns and realizes he's watching her through the doorway.
205	-->''[[https://youtu.be/Yq7yRlOSgIQ?si=VhuW2tdene-ZhzQ3&t=158 The scream of a herbivore that just had its escape route cut off rings out from inside.]]''

Context Funny / FateHollowAtaraxia