Line #11 Funny/DragonsDogma


1	! Moments pages are Administrivia/SpoilersOff. You have been warned.
2
3	!! The Game
4	* In the [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lybHTV5AiJE Take Thee for a Ride]] official trailer, the Arisen rides on virtually everything while playing [[VideoGame/MarvelVsCapcom2 "I Wanna Take You For a Ride"]], be it Eliminators, Harpies, Dragons, or [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking Oxen]], almost everything.
5	* "Wild" cyclopes idle animations. If you watch them for a while before attacking them, they might start bunny-hopping/playing hopscotch, complete with resounding booms when they land.
6	** This can lead to even more hilarity as they will do this [[TooDumbToLive even if they are standing close to a cliff.]] If they do fall to their death, the victory theme plays anyway.
7	** Cyclops, by definition, have only one eye. Yet, upon defeat, a player can get up to ''three'' Misshapen Eyes as an item drop. The wiki even suggests that "they may be organs from some other part of the Cyclops' body". [[BallsGag Go figure.]]
8	* During the start of the game after you awaken following your disastrous encounter with Grigori, if you try to leave without choosing a weapon, despite him telepathically telling you to take up arms and find him, he'll tell you once more to take up arms "for my kind heed not the toothless". On the one hand, it is a menacing comment of how you don't have a choice in the matter and must give chase, but it can be taken as a comedic way of Grigori tell you that if you're not gonna grab a sword before you leave, then don't even bother showing up to his home.
9	* During the questline, Dying of Curiosity, which basically has the Arisen tracking down their childhood friend Valmiro, who always seems to get in over his head and end up passing out, injured. Your Main Pawn has quite the commentary to say.
10	--> '''Main Pawn''': (Second time rescuing Valmiro) He certainly has talent for passing out...
11	--> '''Main Pawn''': (Third time rescuing Valmiro) I supposed we'd best help him. (Pause) Again.
12	--> '''Main Pawn''': (When finishing the quest) '[[TheLoad Tis a burden I'd be glad to be quit of]].
13	** The entire questline, the Arisen can be seen crossing their arms and putting their hands on their hips, clearly unimpressed with Valmiro's antics. Judging by their reaction, it's not the first time Valmiro has gone done this and you had to help him.
14	* Pawns absolutely love their overkill and almost always charge their spells to the highest level, whether they be fighting goblins or drakes. They're also fond of joining their spells together to multiply the effects. This can lead to [[CurbStompBattle Curb Stomp Battles]] consisting of a lone goblin flailing around in a panic as he gets pelted by a dozen gigantic meteors, or awakening a nest of sleeping saurians with a quartet of tornadoes.
15	** Also, anytime a goblin gets hit by the Deadly Arrow skill. SPLAT!
16	* The ability to throw items and people can be quite amusing. Tossing one of your pawns simply results in them getting back up and dusting themselves off, with no comment.
17	** Throwing ExplodingBarrels is pretty funny, too. Thankfully there's no damage to your party, but it will send you and all nearby Pawns sprawling.
18	* Duke Edmun's reaction to the party hat his jester puts on your head when you first meet him. "Your crown outshines my own" indeed.
19	* Jump off a high ledge when your health is extremely (read: 1000+) high. The resulting splat/faceplant is HILARIOUS, and only to get up with a slight groan.
20	** Do one better and grab one of your pawns and jump off with them in your arms. Once you hit the threshold for having fallen too far, you'll drop them mid-air to do the falling animation and slam into the ground, with them faceplanting a moment after and likely with a mouthy comment after if they took a lot of damage.
21	* "[[Literature/FearAndLoathingInLasVegas We can't stop here! This is deer country!]]"
22	* After completing the Escort Duty quest, which involves touring the city with [[BrattyHalfPint Symone,]] one of your pawns will give this gem:
23	--> '''Pawn:''' I fear you made a friend of her.
24	** Before even that, the quest descriptor explains that you've faced ''hydras'' more pleasant than her.
25	* Whenever you meet a spellcaster and your pawns shout "[[YouShallNotPass You shall not cast!]]"
26	* '''Feste:''' ''Mi'lady is mistaken. I would never violate His Grace's privacy [[ThePeepingTom while he violates Mi'lady's privates]]...''
27	* Enemies are just as subject to falling damage as you are. The obvious use for this is to throw them off of nearby cliffs, but some enemies can be tricked into taking suicidal plunges all on their own. For example, the cyclops on the narrow pass to Heavenspeak Fort can be enraged by snapping off one of its tusks; if it rampages too close to the edge of the cliffside, [[DisneyVillainDeath the great oaf will go plummeting to its death]], [[SoundtrackDissonance followed shortly by the entirely-inappropriate heroic victory theme]]. Chimeras can also be sent into a rage when the goat and snake heads are killed, causing the lion to charge around aggressively: with luck and timing, a rampaging Chimera can be made to leap off a cliff.
28	* The dialogue of the Pawns throughout the game makes for some pretty funny moments:
29	** Pawns can sometimes utter completely out of place observations during the most inappropriate times
30	--->'''Pawn''' (when fighting a giant, fire-breathing drake who is killing everyone): Look, Arisen, a rope! Seems suspicious...
31	** Or when you are facing a Drake, and your Pawn yells "Goblin!". Seriously, since when is a Goblin more of a threat than a Drake?
32	** How about Pawns not understanding what a plural is? "There master, Griffions!" when there is only one. The same thing happens vice-versa at times, like when you face multiple Goblins but only "Goblin" is yelled.
33	** The trigger events for certain Pawn comments doesn't take into account which direction you are headed. So you'll often wind up with a Pawn talking about a place you just left, such as Gran Soren, as though you've never been there.
34	** There's something weirdly funny about the way the Pawns comment on your return from a dip in the Brine:
35	---> '''Pawn:''' Master, you're back!
36	** Pawns will often tell you not to swing around blindly at particularly swift enemies (wolves in particular are the most common), but this becomes even more hilarious if they happen to say it while you actually ARE afflicted with Blind.
37	*** Even funnier? There's options for changing the Arisen's eyes so that either eye is closed, or they both are. The idea of the Arisen, a nigh immortal hero believed to be the one to save Gransys from the Dragon, roaming the land, swinging around a sword with his eyes closed everywhere he goes while his pawns occasionally scream at him to not swing around blindly is utterly hysterical.
38	* The death scream of the Chimera's goat head.
39	** A strange glitch sometimes occurs when battling the Gorechimera: if the Goat head is the last to be killed and heals the body after both other heads are slain, the Gorechimera can still be alive and active ''even after all of its heads are dead.'' In this state it is completely unable to hurt anyone, it just aimlessly runs around with the dead goat and lion heads awkwardly dangling as if they were very, very drunk.
40	** Chimeras can sometimes be sent into a panic, causing the [[MultipleHeadCase three separate personalities]] to fight for control. The result is the sight of the Chimera bucking around in circles, the goat seemingly in control of the hind legs, the lion in control of the front, and the snake controlling neither and just thrashing around in confusion.
41	** If the lion head is killed before the goat (generally easier with Mage, Sorcerer or Magick Archer as the lion is weak to magick attacks) the goat ''freaks out'', jumping and bucking and trying to get away from the player while casting long-range spells, as unsure what to do without the lion's aid. The entire time, the dead lion's head flops around limply like a sack of potatoes (the goat does the same if killed first, but the lion looks siller due to being much larger and at the front).
42	* Thanks to the game's romance system, your character can fall in love with almost anyone you find...with [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SUbLL3J0__o interesting results]].
43	* Give your male Pawn voice #4 (the highest-pitched one) and tell him to "voice his anguish" in a "Timid" manner. Whenever he gets hit, he'll let out a yelp. Bonus if he's a [[VocalDissonance huge, scowling, terrifying warrior]]. Becomes particularly funny if he also has the Guardian personality:
44	-->'''Pawn''' (entering a fight with goblins when one gets a sneak attack in on him): I will protect you, Arisen! '''''OW!'''''
45	* Some of the voice options in character creation go into outright chipmunk territory, making for instant hilarity, especially when there's VocalDissonance. The voice previews only play grunts and yells instead of speech, which can make for some amusing surprises when you first hear your main pawn speak.
46	** Alternatively, a pawn with a ridiculously deep voice can be equally hilarious, especially if the pawn is a child or a petite, beautiful woman.
47	* Hard Mode can be quite a challenge, but it compensates by making enemies drop a lot more money. This can turn hilarious as, if you're on a killing spree, many enemies will start dropping giant bags of money, even creatures that have no business holding money to begin with, such as wolves, chimeras, and even [[LizardFolk Saurian]]'s tails!
48	* The dragon, Grigori, dispatches Elysion rather [[KilledMidSentence abruptly]] and quips in his usual sophisticated manner that he only did it to shut him up.
49	--> '''Grigori:''' The rantings of an up-jumped zealot make for tedious listening.
50	* If you stand still long enough, one of your pawns will wave his/her hand in front of your face, as if trying to see if you're awake.
51	* The game's unusually broad character customization options can lead to unintentionally funny moments due to the fact that the dialog remains the same regardless of what kind of character you happen to be playing. Some lines uttered by [=NPCs=], e.g. a large and heavily armored guard's panicked pleas to "D-Do something!", take on wildly inappropriate and/or funny meanings when spoken to a small child or a wizened old man. That is to say nothing of the romance system, which likewise doesn't take apparent age into account at all.
52	* Once the player becomes the Seneschal, they can mess around with objects in the world as an invisible spirit, such as picking up boxes and carrying them around. People even get spooked when they see a random object floating about. Hell, one can even pick up PEOPLE. Think of all the hilarious stuff you can do with that kind of occupation!
53	* For instant fun, change to a class that uses a bow, get one that will let you damage but not kill harpies, and find an area with a long drop. Shoot said harpy while they fly above the fall and laugh as they tailspin their way down to the bottom, often to their demise if it's a bottomless pit or a river gorge. The Soulflayer Canyon with the Snow Harpies is one of the easiest places to do this, and it's hilarious to watch them sailing down to their demise.
54	* The sheer escalation in the very first zone of Bitterblack Isle. After all the buildup of it being supremely dangerous, the enemies in the first room? Wargs, nothing more than poisonous wolves. Easy. When you're expecting a letdown in difficulty, the second room has ''Death itself''.
55	* The true ending of the game after your character stabs themself in the chest with the Godsbane, and both you and your main pawn fall back to Gransys to find that your pawn now basically inhabits your body and has a true life of their own. While it is a mix of tearjerker and heartwarming, you sacrificing yourself but your pawn now gets to experience a full life of their own, all seriousness is completely drained away should your pawn be ''of the opposite gender from you''. A sobering and melancholy scene suddenly becomes hilarious as your brawny warrior suddenly sounds like a woman, or your beautiful woman suddenly bears a deep, manly voice.
56	* There's something darkly humorous about using the Godsbane in general. You're not really given any REAL indication of what it does or is even used for, and experimenting will see your character give a loud cry like they do when attacking in battle as they ram it into their chest and fall down dead, your team yelling at you in horror for what you just did.
57	** Even funnier than THAT? It's actually quicker to reload from death than it is to {{Save Scum}} by quitting and reloading from the main menu. Can't get what you want from chests in Bitterblack Isle? Ram the Godsbane into [[{{Pun}} your own chest]] and reload while your pawns scream at you in horror each and every time for doing something as stupid as that. Calls to mind a particular ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons'' quote....
58	--->'''Moe''': I guess it's suicide for me ''[[NoodleIncident again]]''...

Context Funny / DragonsDogma