Line #26 Funny/DownPeriscope


1	* The first scene.
2	-->"Fire one!"\
3	''whacks a golf ball off the submarine deck and onto the nearby putting green''
4	* As Dodge is reviewing the crew of rejects and washouts he's been assigned, a pair of [=MPs=] approach escorting a cursing, muscle shirt-wearing Stepanek.
5	-->'''Dodge''': Oh good. Our chaplain has arrived.
6	* "Great. We just chased down a boatload of beered-up fishermen."
7	* Nitro singing along with a Frank Sinatra song while working on the radio, while Sonar watches him in bewilderment. One shock later, and he's switched to repeating a baseball game's commentator.
8	--> '''Dodge:''' "That boy's absorbed a ''lot'' of voltage."
9	** Nitro in general is good for a laugh simply because he's so quirky. He painfully shocks himself checking the ship's electrical systems, has to use his own body to conduct electricity because he does not have the wiring to bridge circuit gaps, has some very confusing interactions with the crew, can't pronounce Admiral Graham's name right, and is the only crewmember ''still'' acting like a pirate [[spoiler:looooong after they dump Pascal]].
10	** The only time we actually see him ''protect'' against electrical shock is at the end when he has to switch the communication system from phone to "squawk" [[note]]overhead radio speaker that the rest of the conn can hear[[/note]]. Nitro digs an insulated glove out of a drawer, draws himself into a cringe, flips a switch... and is visibly relieved to have not gotten shocked again.
11	* When the ''Stingray'''s first dive, the sub starts to list and tilt, sending Sonar and Nitro comically tumbling from their posts.
12	-->'''Nitro:''' ''(Excited)'' Maybe we hit an iceberg!\
13	'''Sonar:''' ''(Confused)'' Off the coast of Virginia?
14	* Sonar's faking a whale song to trick the ''Orlando'' into thinking they had detected whales, not the ''Stingray''.
15	** And, immediately beforehand, Dodge attempting to silently instruct him to do that very thing, mostly by way of mime - to Sonar's considerable confusion. And then Nitro joins in, with no indication that he has any clue what Dodge is actually trying to say...
16	** While Sonar is wandering the conn spouting whale sounds, much of the crew is simply staring at him in bewilderment. Lt. Lake, who happens to have a front-row seat as Sonar changes sounds to imitate another whale, can only stare with such slack-jawed bafflement that it is clear that, even if they were ''not'' running silent, she had no words.
17	* [[spoiler:Pascal]] walking the plank.
18	-->'''''"MOMMY!!!"'''''
19	** Also Admiral Winslow's bewildered reaction to hearing about it.
20	--> [[FlatWhat ''They made him walk the plank?'']]
21	* Lt. Lake's SugarWiki/MomentOfAwesome: "Balls to the wall, boys!"[[note]]This is actually TruthInTelevision informal parlance. The throttles on ships and aircraft end in a knob, the "ball", and when push all the way forward will touch the control panel, the "wall". It's basically the military equivalent for "pedal to the metal."[[/note]]
22	* During the crazy attempt to lose the ''Orlando'', Jackson seems to be the only one embracing Dodge's bizarre orders. If only because ''he'' is the one climbing the periscope in the middle of a heavy rainstorm in the Atlantic Ocean to duck-tape a lamp to the periscope.
23	-->'''Jackson:''' Be all that you can be!
24	-->'''Dodge:''' That's the ''Army'' song, Jackson!
25	* "[[{{Gasshole}} Sounded like... an explosion]]."
26	** Followed by the crew of the Stingray trying desperately to avoid making a noise as they struggle to deal with the sudden contamination of the ship's air supply...
27	--->'''Jackson:''' (in a choked whisper) "Somebody needs to sew his damn ass ''shut!''"
28	** Once the crisis has passed, among the orders Dodge issues:
29	--->'''Dodge:''' Someone find Buckman and launch him out a torpedo tube. ''(cue Buckman disappearing from the doorway)''
30	* Before the start of the ending credits, the crew of the ''Stingray'' act in a video of Music/VillagePeople's "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o-87y3mzruY In The Navy]]". While the scenario as a whole is somewhat silly, the various expressions on their faces knocks it out of the park, so to speak.
31	* Dodge's initial response to Vice Admiral Winslow:
32	-->''I think I'm gonna get my ass kicked, sir.''
33	* Admiral Winslow's response to Dodge's initial lack of enthusiasm for the wargame and his gloomy prediction that he's going to get his ass kicked:
34	-->'''Winslow:''' Damn it to hell, don't go by the book, think like a pirate! I want a man with a tattoo on his dick! Have I got the right man?
35	-->'''Dodge:''' [''wryly''] By some strange coincidence, you do, sir.
36	** Just the line by Graham itself revealing the tattoo:
37	--->'''Graham:''' Now call me a prude, but I don't think it's a good reflection of Navy policy to hand over a billion dollar piece of equipment to a man who has "Welcome aboard!" tattooed on his ''penis''!
38	* In the beginning, when Dodge has been told by his CO that he's been given his own sub to command;
39	-->'''Dodge:''' That's not funny.
40	-->'''Knox:''' No, it's not, [[MyGodYouAreSerious that's why they decoded it]] ''twice.''
41	* Captain Knox [[SideBet handing cash over to his new first officer]] after Dodge wins the war game. The XO bet against his own crew simply because Dodge annoyed him with antics such as golfing off the deck of the sub in the first scene.
42	* After Lake grounds the boat and loses her confidence, Dodge visits her in her quarters (actually the aft torpedo room). He tells her of his own missteps in the past and encourages her not to give up. As he opens the hatch to leave, the moment is saved from being wholesomely heartwarming by the ''entire crew'' bunched up at the hatchway, eavesdropping. Stepanek, as usual, handles this with tact.
43	-->'''Stepanek:''' [[UnusualEuphemism Polishin' the ol' torpedoes, Captain]]?
44	* The kitchen exchanges between Marty Pascal and Buckman.
45	-->'''Pascal:''' Jesus, Buckman! This can's been on the Stingray since Korea! It expired in 1966!
46	-->'''Buckman:''' [''Tries a bit''] What's the matter, sir? It still tastes like creamed corn.
47	-->'''Pascal:''' Except, it's deviled ham!
48	-->'''Buckman:''' Well, that would be a problem...
49	** While Pascal is criticizing the state of the kitchen, Buckman is putting non-stick cooking spray on the ladder and the deck nearby. Cue Pascal suffering both a horrible slip onto the deck and then sliding down the ladder, clocking his jaw on the rungs before falling limp onto the deck. Later, during the silent run, Pascal is ''still'' sitting there on the deck, unable to move since another slip would reveal their position.
50	* As they pass 100 feet in depth, Howard tapes a piece of string over head height between two opposite walls of the ''Stingray'''s engine room, commenting on how the water pressure will visibly squeeze the sub (in his words, "like an empty beer can"). When the film cuts back later when they've passed 350 feet, the string has quite obviously lowered to chest-level; Stepanak can only stare at it in obvious terror.
51	* Stepanek's attempt to annoy Dodge by blatantly goldbricking in the middle of the weather deck while the crew is straightening the ship up. "Blatantly", as in he is lying in a deck chair with sunglasses and a sun reflector on his chest. Dodge's solution is worth a few chuckles.
52	-->'''Dodge:''' Well, you leave me no choice, son, but to relocate you.
53	-->'''Stepanek:''' ''(hopeful)'' Really?
54	-->'''Dodge:''' Really. ''(sees Buckman walking by)'' [[BaitAndSwitch BUCKMAN!]]
55	-->'''Buckman:''' Yes, sir!
56	-->''(Buckman spins in response and smacks Stepanek in the head with the mops he's carrying. This pitches Stepanek off the deck and into a large container of paint hanging from the side of the ship)''
57	-->'''Dodge:''' Thank you, Buckman. That'll be all.

Context Funny / DownPeriscope