Line #11 Funny/DogSoldiers


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5	* Joe spends his first scene complaining about how the exercise is going to make him miss a football match.
6	--> '''Joe:''' It's England v Germany. [[SeriousBusiness Full on footie war!]]
7	--> '''Sarge:''' [[SarcasmMode Well then it's nothing like this at all then, is it Joe?]]
8	--> '''Joe:''' It's just an exercise. Hardly life or death.
9	--> '''Spoon:''' I wouldn't bet on it Joe. You're fucking slaying me.
10	** Later on, Joe asks Megan if she by any chance knows who won the football. She giggles "I didn't even know there was a game on". SeriousBusiness returns again as Joe sighs "it's not a game".
11	** The Punchline to the whole thing: England's 5-1 victory over Germany during the World Cup is front page news totally overshadowing the tabloid story about the film's main plot: "Werewolves ate my platoon".
12	* The campfire scene gets interrupted by a falling dead cow. Terry panics and starts shooting, while Spoon is howling with laughter (the others remind him they're only firing blanks). Terry still wants to call it in.
13	--> '''Sarge:''' I'm not about to break radio silence because you lot got spooked by a dead flying [[PrecisionFStrike fucking]] cow!
14	* When the squad arrives at the cottage and proceeds to clear it, Spoon creeps slowly up the stairs with his weapon drawn and whispers to himself "little pigs, little pigs... we've come to nick your video."
15	* The entire scene where Wells is having his stomach wound dressed by Cooper and Megan. The whole time, Wells is completely and utterly drunk, having been drinking to help cope with the pain of having his intestines hanging out.
16	--> '''Wells:''' ''(regarding Cooper)'' I tell you what, I love him. ''(to Cooper)'' I love you! Like the mate that I... that I love.
17	--> '''Megan:''' [[DeadpanSnarker Would you like to be alone]]?
18	** Earlier during the same scene, Wells glances down at his exposed intestines:
19	--> '''Wells:''' Sausages.
20	** It's made even funnier thanks to the DVDCommentary: According to Creator/SeanPertwee, he really did down three quarters of a bottle of brandy, and Kevin [=McKidd=] wasn't in a very good mood. Pertwee said something that upset [=McKidd=], and thus the latter's punches - right in Pertwee's face - were entirely real, and he was too pissed to realise it until the next day.
21	* Terry inadvertently saving Sam the dog's life (Ryan was about to shoot him to make him stop barking)... by vomiting all over Ryan's head. Ryan's TranquilFury as he mutters "well that's bloody charming, that is..." just makes the scene.
22	** A short while later, Terry utters this gem after Cooper asks him if he's okay:
23	--> '''Terry:''' I've got a real craving for a kebab.
24	** And when introducing the other men to Megan, Cooper refers to Terry as "the vomiting cavalier".
25	* Upon being brief on what precisely they're up against, Joe rants that "this is so fucking ''bone''!"
26	--> '''Cooper:''' Anything else?
27	--> '''Megan:''' Yeah. What does 'bone' mean?
28	--> '''Spoon:''' (''as if reading from a dictionary'') Bone - bollocks, naff.
29	--> '''Joe:''' [[PunctuatedForEmphasis Not. Very. Good.]]
30	* After giving everyone orders on locking down and securing the house, Cooper turns to Terry and tells him to put the kettle on, because after everything that's happened they could all do with a brew.
31	* After Ryan's transformation, Wells picks up a stick, having had to grab around for something while also keeping his gaze on the table Ryan was hiding under, and throws it yelling "Fetch!"
32	* During the siege, Spoon is frantically trying to nail a door shut. Cue a werewolf shoving its hand through the letterbox. Spoon's reaction? Hammer the bastard's fingers!
33	** Earlier, Joe is shooting at one of the werewolves through a window with a shotgun. The werewolf's response? Grab the gun from him, shoot at ''him'' with it (he jumps out of the way in time), and then toss it back in after him.
34	* When Joe decides to break into the barn to start the Land Rover, Cooper notes that he'll need a decoy - "Something fast and loud" - cue him and Joe looking at Spoon instantly. Then Megan and even Ryan do. It takes Spoon a second or two to get it.
35	** Spoon's method of drawing the werewolves' attention - light a flare and bellow out "come on and have a go if you think you're hard enough!", sounding [[OopNorth especially northern]].
36	* Spoon fighting with a werewolf. In hand-to-hand combat. With a FryingPanOfDoom. And ''winning''.
37	** Not just the pan but almost literally everything but the kitchen sink, since the fight takes place in, well, the kitchen; if he somehow managed to disloge the sink, he'd most likely have won outright.
38	* One of the werewolves lowers its monstrous maw to inspect Sam - who, in calm curiosity, stares right back, and barks.
39	* Near the end, Wells is hiding in a closet, and holding off a werewolf with an [[ImprovisedWeapon improvised]] AerosolFlamethrower, and yells at it, "Go away!" The choice of words, and the tone he says them in, just seem rather hilariously out of place given the context.
40	* One trailer briefed the audience on the situation and asked them who they thought would crack first. The next caption says, "did you choose the woman?" - cue montage of Megan shooting the guns and demonstrating she is ''not'' a DamselInDistress. The trailer finishes with "don't be so sexist."
41	* Spoon is sprinting for safety as Megan prepares to haul him in through a window.
42	-->'''Megan''': MOVE YOUR [[PrecisionFStrike FUCKING]] ASS, SOLDIER! COME ON!
43	-->'''Spoon''': I'm tryin'!
44	-->''[They haul Spoon in through the window and he comes crashing to the floor]''
45	-->'''Spoon''': ''[{{Beat}}]'' I love it when a posh girl talks dirty!
46	* Sarge and Cooper's conflicting analogies of what a werewolf transformation must be like.
47	--> '''Sarge:''' Maybe it's like when you have to take a piss or something, I don't know. When you gotta go, you have to fucking go.
48	--> '''Cooper:''' Well maybe it's more like needing a shite. Just because you need one, it doesn't mean you drop your kegs and pinch one off.

Context Funny / DogSoldiers