Line #102 Funny/DjangoUnchained


1	!Funny pages are for post-viewing discussion; they assume you've already seen the work in question and as such are spoiler-free.
2	[[quoteright:350:https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/1997eca958b51043b3248415e0c1babc.jpg]]
3	[[caption-width-right:350:Do what makes you happy. Especially if it involves blowing up slave plantations.]]
4	* Every time Schultz introduces his horse Fritz, who always obediently neighs and bows his head in response.
5	* During Schultz's EstablishingCharacterMoment scene, he absentmindedly asks one of the slaves to hold his gun while he fumbles with other things. The slave's face when he's handed a loaded weapon is priceless.
6	* The giant tooth on a spring atop Schultz's wagon. It's funny when you first see it, but it's even funnier when they return to town, what with it bouncing away and all. Just look at it go!
7	-->'''Dicky Speck:''' What kind of doctor?\
8	'''Schultz:''' ''[in a CaptainObvious tone]'' Dentist.
9	* After Schultz has just brought a horse down and crushed Dicky Speck's leg:
10	-->'''Schultz:''' If you could keep your caterwauling to a minimum, I'm going to finish my line of inquiry with young Django.\
11	'''Dicky:''' ''[[[LargeHam screams as loud as he possibly can]]]''
12	** There's something darkly funny in how ridiculously ''gory'' Dicky's getting shot is. You expect some blood flying but when he gets shot his blood erupts like someone had found oil there.
13	* The entire "shooting the sheriff" scene.
14	** First there's this gem as Schultz and Django walk into the saloon:
15	--->'''Dr. King Schultz:''' Good morning, innkeeper! ''[the bartender is standing on a chair, changing a candle in the chandelier]'' Two beers for two weary travelers.\
16	'''Saloon Keeper Pete:''' It's still a bit early. We won't be open for another hour. By then, we'll be servin' breakfast. ''[turns around and immediately recoils upon seeing Django]'' Oh, shit! Woah! Woah! Woah! Woah! ''[The swinging chandelier conks him in the back of the head. Pete doesn't notice.]'' What the hell do you think you're doing, boy?! Get that nigger out of here! ''[Schultz stares at Pete]''\
17	''[GilliganCut to the bartender bursting out of the saloon, running for his life]''\
18	'''Pete:''' Help! Help!\
19	'''Schultz:''' ''[comes out the front doors]'' Innkeeper! Remember, get the sheriff, not the marshal!\
20	'''Pete:''' Sheriff! Sheriff! ''[Schultz walks back into the saloon]''\
21	'''Schultz:''' Alas. Now we must act as our own bartender.
22	** At the end of Schultz's conversation, as he is setting some terms for Django to agree to with regards to the Brittle brothers:
23	--->'''Dr. King Schultz:''' I hear at least two of them are overseeing up in Gatlinburg, but I don't know where. That means we visit every plantation in Gatlinburg till we find them. And when we find them, you point them out, and I kill them. You do that, I agree to give you your freedom, twenty-five dollars per Brittle brother, that's seventy-five dollars... ''[notices the Sheriff approaching and smiles]'' ...and as if on cue, here comes the Sheriff.\
24	''[the sheriff comes in, carrying a shotgun in his right hand]''\
25	'''Sheriff Bill Sharp:''' Okay, boys! Fun's over. Come on out.\
26	''[the sheriff walks out through the front doors, where we see that a group of townspeople have assembled, watching him]''\
27	'''Sharp:''' Alright, folks, calm down! Go about your business. ''[levels shotgun at the doors]'' These jokers will be gone soon. ''[Schultz and Django come outside]'' Now, why y'all wanna come into my town and start trouble, and... scare all these nice people? ''[Schultz walks towards the sheriff and stretches his right hand out as if to shake the sheriff's hand]'' You ain't got nothing better to do than to come into Bill Sharp's town and show your ass?\
28	''[A small Derringer promptly pops up in Schultz's right hand, and he shoots the Sheriff in the stomach. The sheriff drops his shotgun and falls on his back, clutching the bullet wound. The assembled crowd stands there, dumbstruck.]''\
29	'''Pedestrian:''' What'd you just do to our sheriff?\
30	''[Schultz walks around the wounded sheriff, aims his Derringer at his head, and shoots him again, and his body stops writhing. Everyone immediately runs away screaming. [[FunnyBackgroundEvent One woman can be seen frantically hobbling away on a single crutch while another just faints on the spot]]. Schultz turns to the bartender.]''\
31	'''Schultz:''' ''Now'' you can get the marshal. ''[the bartender runs away]''\
32	'''Saloon Keeper Pete:''' Marshal! Marshal!
33	** When Schultz is about to finish Bill Sharp take a look at Pete, the bartender, he looks away from it a good few seconds ''before'' Schultz pulls the trigger.
34	* The sheer fact that Schultz walks into a town, baits out the sheriff, shoots him in broad daylight, and [[RefugeInAudacity then demands two hundred dollars from the marshal while facing a hundred heavily-armed townsfolk]].
35	** "Marshall Tatum, may I address you and your deputies and... apparently the entire town of Daughtrey as to the incident that just occurred?"
36	---> '''Schultz''': "... In other words, Marshall...you owe me 200 dollars."
37	* Django doing target practice... on a snowman. He even shoots the snowman's crotch.
38	* Everything Schultz does, really, being something of a HeroicComedicSociopath. While he cold-bloodedly murders people, the offhand and cheerful fashion in which he does so is utterly hilarious.
39	* Django's first choice of clothes as a free man: a royal-blue coat with matching knee-breeches (tied off with blue ribbons), buckled shoes, and a very large, lacy bow tie. It comes off as an 1850s-vintage pimp suit.
40	** Heck, it's more like ''1750s''. Apart from the deeper blue color and the big cravat, it's almost identical to [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Blue_Boy ''The Blue Boy'']]. Django is even visible in a reflection in a nearly identical pose...
41	*** The film's costume designer admitted that she slipped Tarantino a copy of The Blue Boy, leading to the final design.
42	** Lampshaded by Betina, the slave woman on Big Daddy's plantation: "You mean you ''wanna'' dress like that?!"
43	** Django's expression when Schultz tells him he can pick out his own outfit. It just screams, "Oh, I'll be taking ''full'' advantage of this."
44	** His badass pose in the outfit as he calls out for John Brittle, coupled with his {{Determinator}} expression. This is made even better a few seconds later, when he grabs the whip [[HoistByHisOwnPetard and starts whipping the white farmhand!]]
45	* While trying to understand how Django should be treated around Big Daddy's plantation, Betina assumes Big Daddy wants her to "treat him like white folk." No sooner than Schultz nods in affirmation does Big Daddy enforce a firm no, resulting in an offended glare in his direction.
46	** Betina pointing out the smoke-house "where Big Daddy hangs all his dead meat. [[BaitAndSwitch Poor little squirrels]]."
47	* Schultz rushes in just after Django shoots down Little Raj and Big John Brittle:
48	-->'''Schultz:''' Where's Ellis?\
49	'''Django:''' He's the one [[DirtyCoward hightailing it across the field right now.]] ''[cut to exactly that]''\
50	'''Schultz:''' ''[pulls out rifle and lines up his shot]'' Are you sure that's him?\
51	'''Django:''' Yes.\
52	'''Schultz:''' Are you positive?\
53	'''Django:''' I dunno...\
54	'''Schultz:''' You don't know if you're positive?\
55	'''Django:''' I don't know what "positive" mean.\
56	'''Schultz:''' [[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment Means you're sure]].\
57	'''Django:''' Yes, I'm sure.\
58	'''Schultz:''' Yes ''what?''\
59	'''Django:''' Yes, I'm sure that's Ellis Brittle.\
60	''[Schultz [[ImprobableAimingSkills fires, and Ellis is hit from in front and falls off his horse, as blood sprays the cotton flowers]]]''\
61	'''Django:''' [[DeadpanSnarker I'm positive he dead.]]
62	* [[OverlyLongGag The overly long conversation]] with the hooded Regulators [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jjaN52FhRjk bickering over how they can't see anything due to the poor quality of their hoods]]:
63	-->'''Spencer 'Big Daddy' Bennett:''' Now, unless they start shootin' first, nobody shoot 'em. That's way too simple for these jokers. We're gonna whup that nigger lover to death. And I'm gonna personally strip and clip that garboon myself.\
64	''[he puts on his mask]''\
65	'''Big Daddy:''' Damn. I can't see fuckin' shit outta this thing!\
66	'''Bag Head #1:''' We ready or what?\
67	'''Big Daddy:''' Aw, hold on, I'm fuckin' with my eye holes. ''[he rips the material around his eye hole]'' Oh. Oh, shit. Ah, I just made it worse. ''[he takes off his mask]''\
68	'''Tennessee Redfish:''' Who made this goddamn shit?\
69	'''O.B.:''' Willard's wife.\
70	'''Willard:''' Well, make your own goddamn masks!\
71	'''Big Daddy:''' Look, nobody's sayin' they don't appreciate what Jenny did!\
72	'''Redfish:''' Well, if all I had to do was cut a hole in a bag, I coulda cut it better than this!\
73	'''O.B.:''' What about you, Robert? Can you see?\
74	'''[[CreatorCameo Robert]]:''' Not too good. I mean, if I don't move my head I can see you pretty good, more or less. But when I start ridin', the bag's movin' all over, and I'm ridin' blind.\
75	''[one of the men takes off his mask and tries to rip a larger eye hole]''\
76	'''[[Creator/JonahHill Bag Head #2]]:''' Shit. I just made mine worse. Anybody bring any extra bags?\
77	'''Bag Head #3:''' No! Nobody brought an extra bag!\
78	'''Bag Head #2:''' I'm just askin'!\
79	'''O.B.:''' Do we have to wear 'em when we ride?\
80	'''Big Daddy:''' Oh, well, shitfire! If you don't wear 'em as you ride up, that just defeats the purpose!\
81	'''Redfish:''' Well, I can't see in this fuckin' thing! I can't breathe in this fuckin' thing, and I can't ride in this fuckin' thing! ''[he takes the mask off]''\
82	'''Willard:''' Well, fuck all y'all! [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere I'm goin' home!]] Now, I watched my wife work all day gettin' thirty bags together for you ungrateful sons-a-bitches, and all I can hear is criticize, criticize, criticize! [[RageQuit From now on, don't ask me or mine for nothin'!]] ''[Willard takes off his mask and rides off in a fury]''\
83	'''Big Daddy:''' Now, look, let's not forget why we're here. We got a killer nigger over that hill there! And we gotta make a lesson out of him.\
84	'''Bag Head #2:''' Okay, I'm confused. Are the bags on or off?\
85	'''Robert:''' I think we all think the bag was a nice idea. But, not pointin' any fingers, they coulda been done better. So how about no bags this time, but next time we do the bags right and then we go full regalia?\
86	'''Redfish:''' You get my vote, Robert. ''[everyone takes off their masks]''\
87	'''Big Daddy:''' Wait a minute! I didn't say "no bags"!\
88	'''Bag Head #2:''' But nobody can see.\
89	'''Big Daddy:''' So?\
90	'''Bag Head #2:''' So it'd be nice to see.\
91	'''Big Daddy:''' Goddamn it, this is a raid! I can't see, you can't see -- ''so what?!'' All that matters is can the [[PrecisionFStrike fuckin']] ''horse'' see?! That's a raid!
92	** One joke a lot of people may have missed is that his horse has albinism, meaning that ''it'' can't see either. Bennett is so obsessed with white supremacy that he willingly bought a basically-blind horse just because it was snow-white.
93	** When they are riding dramatically over the hill, if you watch and listen closely, you'll notice that one of them actually falls off his horse as they're galloping down the hill.
94	** Schultz shooting his booby-trapped travelling carriage:
95	--->'''Schultz:''' ''[chipper tone]'' [[StuffBlowingUp Auf Wiedersehen!]]
96	* Schultz's reaction when he discovers Django's wife has a German name.
97	** Even better: the name is ''Von Film/{{Shaft}}''.
98	*** WordOfGod confirms that Django and Broomhilda are, in fact, meant to be the ancestors of John Shaft.
99	* Schultz going bounty-hunting in a furry BadassLongcoat manages to be incredibly badass and strangely hilarious.
100	* Django and Schultz's first meeting with Candie's lawyer.
101	-->'''Schultz:''' Anything else about Mr. Candie I should know before I meet him?\
102	'''Moguy:''' Yes, he is a bit of a Francophile.\
103	'''Schultz:''' What civilized people aren't?\
104	'''Moguy:''' And he prefers Monsieur Candie to Mr. Candie.\
105	'''Schultz:''' ''[in French]'' Whatever he prefers.\
106	'''Moguy:''' He doesn't speak French. Don't speak French to him, it'll embarrass him.
107	** And then there's this exchange, which is [[BlackComedy quite dark]] when you think about it:
108	--->'''Moguy:''' Calvin and I were about eleven when we went to boarding school together. One could almost say I was ''raised ''to be Calvin's lawyer.\
109	'''Django:''' ''[under his breath]'' One could almost say you's a nigger.
110	* Stephen's first scene, in which he and Calvin argue about Django's presence in front of Django, Schultz, and Candie's personal entourage.
111	-->'''Calvin:''' Hello, Stephen, my boy!\
112	'''Stephen:''' Yeah yeah yeah, hello my ass! Who this nigger up on that nag?\
113	'''Calvin:''' Oh, Stephen, now why you so ornery, you miss me?\
114	'''Stephen:''' Yes sir, I miss you, like a-- like a hog miss slop! Like a, a baby, miss mammy's titty! [[StealthInsult I miss you, like I misses a rock in my shoe.]] Now, I ask you: who this nigger on that nag?\
115	'''Django:''' Hey, Snowball! You wanna know my name or the name of my horse, you ask me.\
116	'''Stephen:''' Just who the hell you callin' Snowball, horse boy!? I'll snatch your black ass off that nag...\
117	''[Calvin starts clamoring to get Stephen's attention]''\
118	'''Stephen:''' ...drag you down here in the mud so fast, it'd make your head spin!\
119	'''Calvin:''' Stephen, Stephen, Stephen! Let's keep it funny. Django here is a free man.\
120	'''Stephen:''' ''[{{beat}}]'' This nigger here!?\
121	'''Calvin:''' That nigger there. Now let me at least introduce the two of you. Django, this is another cheeky black bugger like yourself, Stephen; Stephen, this here is Django. You two ought to hate each other.\
122	'''Stephen:''' Calvin, just who the hell is this nigger you feels the need to entertain?\
123	'''Calvin:''' Django, and his friend in gray here, Dr. Schultz, are customers, and they are our guests, Stephen. And you, you old decrepit bastard, are to show them every hospitality, you understand that?\
124	'''Stephen:''' Yes sir, him I understand, but I don't know why I gotta take lip off this nigger--\
125	'''Calvin:''' No, no no no, you don't have to know why. Do you understand?\
126	'''Stephen:''' ... Yes sir. I understand.\
127	'''Calvin:''' Well, good. They're spendin' the night; go up in the guest bedrooms and get two ready.\
128	'''Stephen:''' H--he gon' stay in the big house?!\
129	'''Calvin:''' Stephen, he's a ''slaver.'' It's different.\
130	'''Stephen:''' ''In'' the big house?!\
131	'''Calvin:''' Why, you got a problem with that?\
132	'''Stephen:''' Oh, no! I ain't got no problem with it -- if you ain't got no problem with burnin' the bed, the sheets, the pillowcases, and everything else when this black-ass motherfucker's gone!\
133	'''Calvin:''' That is my problem; they are mine to burn! Now, your problem right now is makin' a good impression, and I want you to start solvin' that problem right now, and get them goddamn rooms ready!\
134	'''Stephen:''' Yes sir, monsieur Candie.\
135	'''Calvin:''' Go on, now.\
136	'''Stephen:''' Can't believe you brought a nigger to stay in the big house. Your daddy rollin' over in his goddamn grave right now. ''[[[FunnyBackgroundEvent continues in the background]]]'' Niggers in the big house... what kinda shit is that...
137	** Right after that, Calvin [[ChewingTheScenery bellowing]], "WHERE IS MY BEAUTIFUL '''SISTEEEEERRRRR'''?!?"
138	* Django's first meeting with Broomhilda in Candie's place.
139	--> '''Django''': Hey there, little troublemaker.\
140	''[Hildy stands in stunned silence, then drops her glass of water, and finally faints]''\
141	'''Schultz''': You silver-tongued devil, you.
142	* Stephen's expression when Lara says she doesn't want Hildi's whipping scars at the dinner table; he is utterly indignant and almost shocked that she doesn't want to see it.
143	* The first shootout in Candieland. Schultz has just died, the Dragon's been offed, Django is mowing down plantation workers... and there's one guy who bursts through the doorway, gets shot in the leg, and proceeds to get shot again and again without dying. Even funnier is the lawyer screaming for help about them being under attack prior to being shot in the back by Django.
144	** Stephen's BigNo to Candie's death, which qualifies as CrossesTheLineTwice.
145	** The first four mooks shot by Django, who utter in individual succession:
146	-->'''Mook 1''': Holy!\
147	'''Mook 2''': Shit!\
148	'''Mook 3''': Son of a--!\
149	'''Mook 4''': BITCH!
150	** What also qualifies as crossing the line twice is a point where Django guns down some {{Mook}}s. One of them isn't instantly killed, and still keeps screaming throughout the fight. [[JustAFleshWound Even after he gets both his]] [[KneeCapping kneecaps shot off]] and has a fat mook fall on top of him, he is still alive by the time Django is forced to surrender! This means he's either the luckiest or ''un''-luckiest of the mooks in that shootout!
151	*** An extra amusing moment is when Jesse (the mook in question) first gets his knee shot -- [[UnfriendlyFire by one of the other mooks accidentally shooting him trying to shoot at Django]].
152	---->'''Jesse:''' You shot me!! You stupid son-of-a-bitch!\
153	'''Mook:''' [[ApologeticAttacker Sorry, Jesse!]] Who the fuck gave the nigger a goddamn gun?!
154	** If you pay attention during the scene, Moguy does not immediately die from Django shooting him. He ''does'' die from the half-dozen shots that missed Django and instead kept hitting him even though he was laying on the ground.
155	** Hell, the entire shoot-out is funny when you consider that those dumb hillbillies managed to hit just about everything, including each other, ''except'' Django.
156	* When telling Django about the [=LeQuint=] Dickey Mining Company that he plans to send him to, Stephen brings up how many times he had to mention them before Miss Lara came up with the idea to send Django there herself.
157	* Quentin Tarantino's cameo as an Australian miner. He gets blown up by Django!
158	* [[RoaringRampageOfRevenge Django's over the top ambush on the trackers' cabin]], complete with a gratuitous [[GroinAttack groin attack]].
159	-->'''Django:''' [[AndThisIsFor D'ARTAGNAN]], [[PrecisionFStrike MOTHERFUCKERS!]]
160	* The last confrontation between Django and Billy Crash.
161	-->''"Billy Crash, now where were we? Oh, that's right. Last time I seen you, you had your hands on my ''[[[GroinAttack BANG!]]]''"''
162	** Crash then lets out a very [[ScreamsLikeALittleGirl girly scream]] until Django puts another bullet in him.
163	-->'''Crash''': Duh-jango! You black son of a bitch!\
164	'''Django''': The "d" is silent, hillbilly. ''[shoots Crash again, who stops moving]''
165	* [[BlackComedy "...Bye, Miss Lara!"]] Django shoots Miss Lara and she is thrown backwards through the doorway, [[ArtisticLicensePhysics at an obtuse angle to the direction of the shot]].
166	** While we're on the subject of that moment, it's funny that Cora is a ''[[{{Acrofatic}} much FASTER runner]]'' than [[MsFanservice Sheba.]]
167	*** There is also a bit of fridge brilliance in it. Cora most likely has flat shoes as a house worker, while Sheba as a mistress has heeled shoes. Likewise, Cora has to do work in the house, so she should be much fitter than Sheba, whose job is to look pretty.
168	* Stephen trying to intimidate Django by saying that he counted six shots, meaning Django used up all his bullets. Django then pulls out a second gun.
169	-->'''Stephen:''' I count six shots, nigger.\
170	'''Django:''' ''[pulls out second gun]'' I count two ''guns'', nigger.
171	* Stephen's reaction to getting [[KneeCapping kneecapped]].
172	-->'''Stephen:''' ''[sobbing and screaming]'' Oh, you motherfucker! Oh, sweet Jesus, let me kill this nigger!
173	* The revelation that Stephen can walk and talk just fine, and that how he presented himself previously was all an act. It leads the view to expect that one big last brawl is coming between him and Django. Nope.
174	** The implication is that Stephen dropped the facade in an attempt to, at the very least, [[FaceDeathWithDignity go out with some dignity]]. He gets kneecapped and blown up for his trouble.
175	* Pretty much the entire last couple minutes of the film are a strange mix of funny and awesome, especially when Django calmly walks out of the mansion, puts on his sunglasses, and watches the whole damn thing go up in flames, capped off by the adorable Broomhilda covering her ears and watching her husband with pride. Django even makes the horse do a "refined" walk while riding it, both for fun and to further piss over the people he just killed.
176	** Django's truly [[http://i.imgur.com/IulX0oo.gif epic trollface]]-like [[CheshireCatGrin smile]] at the end of the film after he blows up the Candyland plantation building also qualifies. It's even pictured on this page for a good reason.
177	** Also, Stephen's heated ranting towards Django, [[DefiantToTheEnd even while the plantation is seconds from being blown to pieces]].
178	-->"Can't no nigger gunfighter kill all the white folks in the world! They gon' find your black ass! ''[[[LaughingMad cackles]]]'' '''''[[SayMyName DJANGOOOO!!!]]'' YOU UPPITY [[CurseCutShort SONUVA-]]'''" ''['''[[KilledMidSentence BOOOOOM!!!!]]''']''

Context Funny / DjangoUnchained