Line #43 Funny/DarkShadows


1	'''WARNING:''' Spoilers are unmarked.
2	----
3	!The film:
4	* The first thing Barnabas sees after being released (and slaking his thirst)? [[UsefulNotes/McDonalds A large golden symbol]] that quite resembles one he had found in a book about the Devil.
5	-->'''Barnabas:''' Mephistopheles!
6	* When Elizabeth finds Barnabas talking with Carolyn and David and demands to know what's going on, Carolyn says "I'm pretty sure he called me a hooker."
7	** Barnabas then gives her a look of confusion.
8	* Barnabas and Angelique meeting again:
9	-->'''Angelique:''' Barnabas, get over it.
10	-->'''Barnabas:''' LOCKED IN A BOX! For 200 years!
11	-->'''Angelique:''' Don't exaggerate. It was only 196.
12	* Pretty much any scene with Julia Hoffman, but one in particular:
13	-->'''Hoffman:''' ''[to Barnabas]'' Do you know what doctor/patient confidentiality is? ''[descends crotch-wise]''
14	* During the climax when Elizabeth realizes Carolyn is a werewolf, Carolyn gives her the most deadpan expression ([[LeaningOnTheFourthWall at the camera]]) and says:
15	-->'''Carolyn:''' I'm a werewolf, okay? Let's not make a big deal about it.
16	-->''[{{Beat}}]''
17	-->'''Carolyn:''' Woof!
18	* Barnabas seeing a television for the first time and trying to figure out how it works.
19	-->'''Barnabas:''' What kind of sorcery is this? ''[rips an input cord out]'' Reveal yourself, tiny songstress!
20	** Later on, he's watching ''Franchise/ScoobyDoo''.
21	--->'''Barnabas:''' [[TakeThat This is a very silly play]].
22	* Until he gets a coffin to rest in, Barnabas has to make do with sleeping upside down on a bedpost, a refrigerator box, and a cabinet full of towels and blankets.
23	* When Angelique tries to make Barnabas take her back. Doubly funny because it makes Barnabas drop his SesquipedalianLoquaciousness act:
24	-->'''Angelique:''' What if I made you?
25	-->'''Barnabas:''' With what, a spell? A little doll filled with pins? That is not love.
26	-->'''Angelique:''' ''[rips her suit off]'' [[IHaveBoobsYouMustObey With THIS!]]
27	-->'''Barnabas:''' '''[[DistractedByTheSexy Oh]]'''.
28	** "I-I-I must admit, they have not aged a day."
29	** Even before the bodice rip, Barnabas's facial reactions to Angelique taking his hand to fondle her with. He seems quite...content with it.
30	* Barnabas asking Carolyn for some love advice. It's impossible for that setup to ''not'' be hilarious.
31	-->'''Barnabas:''' What is your age, if I may?
32	-->'''Carolyn:''' Fifteen.
33	-->'''Barnabas:''' Fifteen and no husband? You must put those birthing hips to use at once, lest your womb shrivel up and die!
34	-->'''Carolyn:''' You're weird.
35	** The priceless moment when Barnabas recites The Steve Miller Band's "The Joker" as ''poetry''! And then compares it favorably to ''Shakespeare''! [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a5d9IrjGNcA Heck, just listen to it.]]
36	* Barnabas' scene with the hippies. Especially the end.
37	* The RunningGag of Barnabas thinking that Music/AliceCooper is a woman.
38	-->'''Barnabas:''' ''[watching Cooper perform]'' Ugliest woman I've ever seen.
39	* At the party, the old cleaning woman is sitting right in front of a speaker just reading and not even being aware of the music coming from it.
40	* Barnabas's response to Angelique's proposal:
41	-->'''Barnabas:''' I have prepared my counter-proposal, it reads thusly: you may strategically place your wonderful lips upon my posterior and kiss it repeatedly!
42	* When Barnabas is locked in a coffin for the second time.
43	-->'''Barnabas:''' ''[hearing footsteps]'' I hear you! Come! Do not fear!
44	-->''[The coffin lid opens]''
45	-->'''Barnabas:''' Oh, thank goodness! What year is it? How many decades have passed?
46	-->'''David:''' It's been twenty minutes. ''[{{beat}}]'' Why do you have ladies' underwear on your face?
47	-->'''Barnabas:''' Never mind that!
48	* During the final battle:
49	-->'''Angelique:''' "Command?" You make me sick! ''[projectile vomits]''
50	-->'''Barnabas:''' ''[dodges out of the way]'' Missed me.
51	-->''[Angelique vomits again and gets Barnabas in the face]''
52	** The old cleaning woman even starts to wipe the venom off his face, but [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere gives up]] when she sees the bugs in the mess.
53	* Behind-the-scenes example: When Denise Nickerson, who played both Amy Jennings/Nora Collins in the original series, and Violet Beauregarde in ''Film/WillyWonkaAndTheChocolateFactory'', noted Creator/JohnnyDepp starring in both the ''Film/DarkShadows'' movie and ''Film/CharlieAndTheChocolateFactory'', she made jokes in interviews not long after about Depp being obsessed with her career.

Context Funny / DarkShadows