Follow TV Tropes

Following

Context Funny / Daria

Go To

1[[quoteright:350:https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/daria_invitation.png]]
2[[caption-width-right:350:Hi. I'm Daria. Go to hell.]]
3
4[[foldercontrol]]
5
6[[folder: Season One]]
7[[AC: Esteemsters]]
8* This gem:
9-->'''Mrs. Manson:''' Now, Dora, let's see if you can make up a story as vivid as your sister's.
10-->'''Daria:''' It's ''Daria''.
11-->'''Mrs. Manson:''' I'm sorry...Daria. What do you see in the picture, Dara?
12-->'''Daria:''' Um...a herd of beautiful wild ponies running free across the plains.
13-->'''Mrs. Manson:''' Uh, there aren't any ponies. It's two people.
14-->'''Daria:''' Last time I took one of these tests they told me they were clouds. They said they could be whatever I wanted.
15-->'''Mrs. Manson:''' That's a different test, dear. In this test, it's two people, and you tell me what they're discussing.
16-->'''Daria:''' Oh, I see. Alright, then. It's a guy and a girl, and they're discussing...[[LoopholeAbuse a herd of beautiful wild ponies running free across the plains.]]
17-->''(Mrs. Manson slowly puts down sheet of paper with a cross look on her face. Daria just smiles.)''
18* On "Sick, Sad World"
19-->'''Presenter:''' Incredible! Here you are; blind, deaf and barely able to walk and yet you conducted simultaneous affairs with members of the royal family. What audiences want to know is: How did you do it?
20-->'''Old Man:''' Huh?
21
22[[AC: The Invitation]]
23* Daria and Jane discuss a picture Jane drew the previous summer:
24-->'''Daria''' You're really bursting out of the picture plane here.
25-->'''Jane''' Yeah, that model was quite bursty. I think she had her "bursts" done.
26* This discussion goes as follows:
27-->'''Daria:''' If you want to go, just make believe you're me. When you're popular, all unpopular people look alike anyway.
28-->'''Jane:''' ''[takes Daria's glasses and puts them on]'' "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u5vdjooYJqc Hi. I'm Daria. Go to hell.]]" ''[takes them off]'' It won't work. My face is too expressive.
29
30[[AC: College Bored]]
31* Daria's fantasy about college life.
32-->'''Professor:''' Daria, I know it's only the first week of freshmen year, but I wonder if you'd consider transferring to the graduate school.
33-->'''Daria:''' I'm not really sure I want to be a professional student.
34-->'''Professor:''' But I don't want you to study. I want you to teach.
35-->'''Daria:''' Well...
36-->'''Professor:''' Not here, of course. On our Paris campus.
37-->'''Daria:''' Oh! Okay.
38-->'''Professor:''' Superb! Now I can use your dorm room to carry on affairs with some of the more beautiful undergraduates. Thank you!
39-->'''Daria:''' How come, even in my fantasies, everyone's a jerk?
40
41[[AC: Cafe Disaffecto]]
42* When the fat woman faints in front of Daria and Jane:
43-->'''Jane:''' Do you know CPR or anything?
44-->'''Daria:''' I once gave the Heimlich Maneuver to Quinn.
45-->'''Jane:''' Did it work?
46-->'''Daria:''' She wasn't choking.
47** But it doesn't end there:
48-->'''Jane:''' ''<{{beat}}>'' We should be doing something now. I'm sure of it.
49-->'''Daria:''' Yeah, I think you're right.
50-->''Jane takes a photo of the unconscious woman with her camera.''
51* When Daria and Jane are being dressed down by Ms. Li for refusing to sell chocolate to the hypoglycemic woman:
52-->'''Ms. Li:''' Did she ask you to ''feed'' her the chocolate?
53-->'''Daria:''' No.
54-->'''Ms. Li:''' How do you know it wasn't for her family?
55-->'''Jane:''' She has no family. She ate them.
56
57[[AC: This Year's Model]]
58* Brittany's dreams are crushed when she's not picked to be a model, and when she sees Kevin posing with another girl, we get the following conversation:
59-->'''Brittany''' (''to the other girl''): Alright, you may have him now, but I'll always be his first! You can't take that away from me!
60-->'''Slutty Girl''': ''I'' can.
61* Romanica calling Helen while she's getting a brazillian, leading to a lot of shrieking that would sound bizarre on Helen's end.
62* Helen gets Daria to watch the modeling class to keep an eye on Quinn, in exchange for not discussing remodeling Daria's room for a year. After the deal's made, Daria reveals she was gonna watch anyway in case Quinn completely humiliates herself.
63-->'''Helen''': Should I be worried?
64-->'''Jake''': [[ComicallyMissingThePoint Of course not, it's great that she wants to look out for her little sister.]]
65-->'''Helen''': Do you hear ''anything'' that goes on here?!
66-->'''Jake''': ...have you seen the paper?
67* Romonica's runway instructions, coupled with Daria and Jane's commentary.
68-->'''Romonica:''' All right, ladies. Now, when you stride down the runway, you're walking towards your car. You've spotted a headless corpse in it... and it's a brand new car!
69-->'''Daria:''' And a ''smelly'' old corpse.
70-->'''Jane:''' In a really bad outfit.
71* Quinn's "motivated" speech to convince the scouts to declare her the winner:
72-->'''Quinn:''' A model is what I'd like to be\
73Winning just comes naturally\
74Da-da-da, da-da\
75Me!
76* Romonica tries to entice Jane to become a model. Jane shows her a sketch she did of Romonica and Cloud as vultures preying on the corpse of a model. Romonica barely contains her anger when she states that Jane would rather be on the design end of things, while Cloud thinks it's ActuallyPrettyFunny.
77* When Ms. Li holds an assembly to address the inappropriate conduct in the last modeling class, she informs the student body that modeling has nothing to do with sex. Cloud and Romonica burst into hysterical laughter off-screen.
78
79[[AC: The Lab Brat]]
80* When asked to give an example of positive or negative reinforcement, Daria delivers a tangent about a young girl whose mother would threaten her with "I'm sending you to El Paso to live with your real father" and how years of such negative reinforcement will potentially drive the girl to have violent, psychotic breakdown. Ms. Barch's response?
81-->'''Ms. Barch''': I like the way you think.
82* Brittany becomes increasingly paranoid about the idea Daria and Quinn are trying to steal Kevin from her (and she's right in Quinn's case), and warns Daria she knows how to hold onto her man. Kevin obliviously and angrily demands to know who this "Man" is.
83-->'''Brittany''': I know how to fight for my man!
84-->'''Kevin''': What ''man?!''
85
86[[AC: Pinch Sitter]]
87* Mr. D and his class are "discussing" cults:
88--> '''Mr. D:''' Can anyone give me another example of a group using coercive techniques such as peer pressure, chanting, and social isolation to achieve control over its members? Brittany?
89--> '''Brittany:''' [[TakeThat Cheerleading]]?
90--> '''Mr. D:''' Ah, Brittany. Sometimes, despite a complete lack of insight, you stumble upon an interesting answer.
91--> '''Brittany:''' Wow! [[ComicallyMissingThePoint And I didn't even read the chapter]].
92* Daria and Quinn's reaction to the Gupty parents:
93-->'''Daria:''' Ten dollars surcharge if I have to spend more than 15 minutes with the parents.
94-->'''Quinn:''' That's fair.
95* The level of braindeadness exhibited by the Gupty kids.
96-->'''Tricia:''' Sugar is bad.
97-->'''Tad:''' Sugar rots your teeth.
98-->'''Tricia:''' Sugar makes you hyper.
99-->'''Tad:''' {{Hitler ate sugar}}.
100* Mr. [=DeMartino=] congratulates Daria on her term paper and praises her original research... then adds it would also likely be considered a felony in some states.
101* The ending after Daria and Jane successfully "deprogram" the Gupty kids.
102-->'''Tad and Tricia:''' (Singing) I am cool, and that is it, and everyone else is full of... [[BrokenRecord full of...]] [[CurseCutShort full of...]]
103-->'''Mrs. Gupty:''' Tad!
104-->'''Mr. Gupty:''' Tricia!
105
106[[AC: Too Cute]]
107* "Oh, Daria, don't be shy... Show me your boobs."
108** To elaborate, Daria had been given a pair of silicone breast implants to examine by a shady plastic surgeon. And those fake boobs are a gift that keeps on giving. As soon as Jane does get to see them:
109-->'''Jane:''' Hmm. [[HoYay Why did I think this would be more interesting?]]
110** Immediately after, resident lech Upchuck shows up, and his inquiring mind wanted to know.
111-->'''Upchuck:''' Good day, ladies? What's in the box? Art project? Science experiment? Adorable little pet?
112-->'''Jane:''' A little of each, Upchuck. [[SchmuckBait Take a look.]]
113-->'''Upchuck:''' ''(examining the implant)'' Hmm. Call me country bumpkin, but what is it?
114-->'''Jane:''' It's a fake boob.
115-->''Upchuck is visibly {{Squick}}ed out, shudders, puts it back, and leaves.''
116-->'''Jane:''' Guess he's not quite ready for a physical relationship.
117* Earlier, Jane and Daria were having a phone conversation about Daria's visit with Quinn to the plastic surgeon.
118-->'''Daria:''' So, first she tells Quinn that she can fix her up for $6,000.
119-->'''Jane:''' Miss Pert and Pretty? What could she possibly need for six Gs other than a new personality?
120-->'''Daria:''' Wait there's more. Then she tells me that for 20 Gs she can fix me, which means she can make me look like Quinn.
121-->'''Jane:''' What do you want to look like that loser, for? She needs $6,000 worth of plastic surgery!
122* Quinn's efforts to raise the money herself don't go that well, either:
123--> '''Quinn''': People are so shallow! Here, this is all I got and it's for you, from Upchuck.
124--> '''Daria''': Why?
125--> '''Quinn''': Deposit. [[BrickJoke He wants to rent that fake boob]] for the weekend.
126
127
128[[AC: The Big House]]
129* Quinn's DramaQueen reaction to the parental crackdown.
130** Quinn dramatically declares she's in love with the guy she snuck out with... but doesn't recall his name. Jake's reaction is something Mr. [=DeMartino=] would approve of.
131--->'''Jake''': You don't even know his NAME, and you're "IN LOVE WITH HIM?!"
132--->'''Quinn''': [[OhCrap You know what]], you're confused by my use of the word "love."
133* "I believe it was Jefferson."
134* The students willingly going to the Teachers vs. Classic Rock [=DJ=]s roller hockey game because Mr. [=DeMartino=] suffered a heart attack the last time they had one. This time, he got cracked in the knee by Rock 'n Roll Randy (which was initially disappointing, until Ms. Barch started beating up Rock 'n Roll Randy)
135** Mr. [=DeMartino=] doing 400 upside-down crunches in preparation for his rematch with Rock 'n Roll Randy, then smoking a cigarette afterwards (Keep in mind, he was sent to the hospital last time for a heart attack and had shortness of breath during the rematch).
136
137[[AC: Road Worrier]]
138* Daria, Jane and Mystik Spyral stuck in traffic in [[TheAllegedCar The Tank]], while "Everybody Hurts" by Music/{{REM}} plays. It's immediately lampshaded:
139-->'''Trent:''' This is just like that REM video...except you can't hear anyone's thoughts.\
140''(Daria looks straight ahead)''\
141'''Caption:''' [[AC:Thank God.]]
142* Daria has been through a HumiliationConga, which she sums up in the diner's restroom.
143-->'''Daria:''' I've got a bump on my head, a bug bite on my arm, a sandwich on my ass...
144-->'''Jane:''' And all in front of Trent.
145-->'''Daria:''' Now turn the knife counter-clockwise.
146* Stacy's FreakOut upon thinking her leggings are actually stretch pants.
147
148[[AC: The Teachings Of Don Jake]]
149* Trent and Jane trash-talking about their relatives until Trent mentions their Aunt Bernice who wears straw hats -- who turns out to be sitting right next to them.
150-->'''Jane:''' Who's Aunt Bernice?
151-->'''Trent:''' You know, from Middleberry. She wears those straw hats. Thinks they're country or something. They look like the kind they put on horses to keep the sun off their heads.
152-->'''Jane:''' ''(noticing that the woman on her other side is wearing said straw hat)'' You say she's from Middleberry?
153-->'''Trent:''' Yeah.
154-->'''Jane:''' So we'd be flying out of the same airport.
155-->'''Trent:''' Yeah, yeah, Janey. What's your point? ''([[OhCrap Notices Aunt Bernice]])''
156-->'''Aunt Bernice:''' Hello, Trent.
157-->'''Trent:''' ''(sheepishly)'': Um, Hello, Aunt Bernice. ''({{Beat}})'' [[HypocriticalHumor I like your hat.]]
158-->''Jane {{Facepalm}}s.''
159** Aunt Bernice driving past Jane and Trent and smiling evilly as she honks the horn.
160* Jake's campfire story of a boy who keeps hearing splashing noises and can't find his father, which turns out to be yet another story of how Jake's father was a selfish, drunken bastard.
161*
162-->'''Daria:''' "DAMMIT. It's MY turn to say 'Dammit'."
163* Trent talking to his Uncle Max:
164-->'''Uncle Max:''' ''(drunk)'' I always liked you, Trent. You were my favorite!
165-->'''Trent:''' And why is that, Uncle Max?
166-->'''Uncle Max:''' 'Cuz you're a BUM! You're a lousy BUM! You're a rotten BUM! You remind me of MYSELF! Ya know why?
167-->'''Trent:''' 'Cuz I'm a bum.
168--> '''Uncle Max:''' Thaaat's right, ya bum! (grabs Trent in a headlock)
169* "WHAT THE ''HELL'' IS ''WRONG'' WITH YOU?!"
170* Helen's descent into psychotropic madness:
171-->'''Helen''': Go on, Quinn. You're so young, so wise. You should lead the tribe into the next century.
172-->'''Quinn''': What tribe? Mom, what are you talking about?
173-->'''Helen''': Now go tell Gray Fox I have given my blessing.
174* "SPIRIT ANIMAL! COME BACK, SPIRIT ANIMAL!"
175** "Girls! Have you seen your father's spirit animal? He was just telling it about his childhood when it jumped up and scampered off!"
176** "There he is! Behind that pack of zebras!"
177* ''(after Jake bursts blood vessels in both his eyes over the $15,000 bill for a helicopter evacuation)'': "Mom, get the painkillers! Quinn...''get the camera!''"
178[[/folder]]
179
180[[folder:Season Two]]
181[[AC: Arts 'n Crass]]
182* The episode opening with Jake crying over losing his client.
183-->'''Jake:''' "I got a great idea," he said. "A million dollar idea," he said. "Cigars for pets. What do you think?" he said. "I want you to be honest," he said. What the hell made me believe him?!
184* Jake getting penne pasta dumped on his head after he tries to explain to Helen that Daria and Jane's poster about the covert bulimic girl is not as negative as everyone else thinks it is.
185** "It's oxidizing."
186* Mr. O'Neill and Ms. Li finding Daria and Jane's defaced poster. And later in the principal's office:
187-->'''Ms. Li''': Did you really think you were going to get away with it?
188-->'''Jane''': Well, it'd be stupid to say yes now.
189* Trent detailing his escape plan to the girls:
190--> '''Trent''': All right, here's the plan. I'll sit right here with my foot on the accelerator, ready to burn rubber.
191--> '''Jane''': Trent, pull over here and make sure you turn off the car in case you fall asleep, okay?
192--> '''Trent''': Alternate plan. Cool.
193* The RunningGag of the episode has Brittany doing a poster, to which a teacher says "I see [the drugs and the alcohol/the gang] but I don't see something that indicates a 'No'", to which Brittany grabs her lipstick and traces a giant "don't" circle.
194** This returns as a BrickJoke when Daria and Jane destroy their poster with that symbol.
195** To close the episode, Brittany announced that she won the contest.
196
197[[AC: The Daria Hunter]]
198* After being annoyed by Kevin's stupidity [[RunningGag yet again,]] Mr. [=DeMartino=] tells Kevin to stick by him during the upcoming paintball game and lets out an EvilLaugh.
199* Daria and Quinn solemnly agree not to tell their parents about the paintball match, but Quinn [[CannotKeepASecret gets paranoid that they've noticed she's hiding something from them and blurts it out in ten seconds.]]
200* Jake getting thrown in the hole during the pre-game demonstration of how the paintball field has camouflaged traps.
201** In a BrickJoke, Helen and Jake are in the hole (after being left behind because someone [possibly Ms. Li] stole the distributor cap from their car) and Helen is yelling at Jake about having a drink with Mr. [=DeMartino=].
202* Ms. Barch shooting Mr. [=DeMartino=] with the paintball gun because of her pent-up frustration over being divorced.
203* Field Trips drive Mr. [=DeMartino=] to [[INeedAFreakingDrink drink]].
204-->'''Jake''' ''(steps in the tent and comes face-to-face with Mr. [=DeMartino=])'': Oh, hi. It's, uh, raining cats and dogs out there.
205-->'''[=DeMartino=]''': What a unique per''spective'' on the situation
206-->'''Jake''': Little nip to warm you up?
207-->'''[=DeMartino=]:''' Mr. Morgendorffer, I am a ''teacher'' responsible for dozens of ''students'' on a fairly hazardous ''field trip''. Do ''YOU'' think I should take ''[[ExactWords a little nip]]''?!
208-->'''Jake:''' I guess not.
209-->'''[=DeMartino=]:''' NO! I GUESS ''NOT!'' '''''GIMME THAT!''''' ''(snatches the flask from a shocked Jake and starts chugging like there's no tomorrow)''
210-->'''Jake:''' Say, did you by any chance go to military school?
211-->'''[=DeMartino=]:''' HOW'D YOU KNOW THAT!?
212** Several hours later, Jake and [=DeMartino=] are drunk and trading stories about their messed-up childhoods (also counts as a [[SugarWiki/HeartwarmingMoments heartwarming moment]] in a BlackComedy sort of way):
213-->'''Jake''': ''(pouring the last of the whiskey into the flask cap, tearfully)'': I didn't mean to step on Dad's contact. The next day, he shipped me off to military school.
214-->'''[=DeMartino=]''': My mother didn't want her DATES to know she had a son. So, I spent a lot of time at the NEIGHBORS. Strange, twisted people.
215-->'''Jake''': I know! I had the same neighbors.
216* Daria and Jane leave the paintball field trip and go to see the "Great White" exhibit, where the woman in charge gives them a story that's basically ''Film/{{Jaws}}'' before she starts going off on a rant about Richard Dreyfuss.
217
218[[AC: I Don't]]
219* Pretty much any exchange between Daria and Amy.
220* Daria hates being fitted for her bridesmaid dress.
221-->'''Jane:''' [[Film/GoneWithTheWind Oh Scarlett, you grow lovelier by the day!]]
222-->'''Daria:''' I ''will'' kill you. And bury your body, in this dress.
223* Standing at the altar as a bridesmaid, while a pan across shows all the other women as emotional, Daria is seen digging in her ear. She then looks back at the adults and a pan across shows Rita as attentive, she then nudges her boyfriend awake, Helen as trying to keep the sun out of her eyes, [[StrangeMindsThinkAlike Jake is digging in his ear]] and Amy then pulls a face that makes Daria giggle as all the other bridesmaids look at her in disgust.
224-->'''Daria:''' ''(defensively while pointing at Amy)'' It was ''her!''
225* The stories that Daria tells her fellow bridesmaids, and the comments provided by Daria's even more deadpan escort, Luhrman.
226-->'''Daria:''' I'm an exotic dancer. You know, at a club. I take my clothes off and dance for strange men."
227--> '''Luhrman:''' She's really very good.
228* The scene where Erin introduces her not very brightly looking husband, who works for the government - Intelligence.
229--> '''Luhrman:''' I'm sorry, what did you say you do? I thought I heard Intelligence, but that can't be right.
230* Mack and Kevin go to the bridal expo, despite the fact Jodie and Brittany asked them not to. Just after they finish their conversation, a man selling wedding rings tells them that he also sells wedding rings to same-sex couples, but what they decide to do with them is their business.
231
232[[AC: That Was Then, This Is Dumb]]
233* In the {{Flashback}} to 1969, Jake, along with a few others, try to make UsefulNotes/ThePentagon [[MakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext rise off the ground]]. [[{{Beat}} A few seconds later]], Jake tries to do it himself by kicking the building, [[SurprisinglyRealisticOutcome but he only succeeds in breaking his foot]].
234-->'''Jake:''' Stupid 5-sided building.
235
236[[AC: Monster]]
237* One of Daria's and Jane's unfinished movies adapts ''Theatre/NoExit'' with squeaky-voiced clay dolls and inanimate objects.
238** When Trent comes back and laughs at Daria acting out the play ("Help! Hell is other people."), Daria miserably responds, "On second thought, Hell is myself."
239* Daria's (after waking up from a nightmare in which she and Jane are the Fashion Club) line to Jake about parent-child bonding:
240-->'''Daria''': Dad, it's 4:00 am. I just woke up from my worst nightmare: resembling my sister. You're reliving an instance of parental neglect from forty years ago. You call this parent/child bonding?
241
242[[AC: The New Kid]]
243* Helen's abandonment of her usual treacly hospitality when Ted's particularly new-age parents push her too far.
244-->'''Helen:''' Now listen here, hippie!
245
246[[AC: Gifted]]
247* ''"YOU'RE NOT FREAKING FAT, OKAY?!"''
248* [[PunctuatedForEmphasis "Take. Her. ]]''[[PunctuatedForEmphasis Now."]]''
249* Andrew Landon brags to Jake about how [[ParentalFavoritism his son, Evan,]] is a quarterback and shows a picture of him. And the young athlete is literally that: an infant (just old enough to sit up) sitting next to a football with a pacifier in his mouth. Jake decides to get ideas about this:
250-->'''Jake:''' "Maybe I can convince Helen to have a boy!"
251-->'''Helen:''' [[DeadpanSnarker "And maybe I can convince you to let me keep the house."]]
252
253[[AC: Ill]]
254* Daria's in the hospital with a rash.
255-->'''Jodie:''' "So you're a little red. It could happen to anybody."
256--> [[[TokenMinorityCouple She and Mack]] glance at each other.]
257-->'''Jodie:''' "...Well, it could happen to lots of people."
258* Jake yelling at an unseen driver when he hears that Daria is in the hospital.
259* The revelation that the rash is actually a stress reaction to being near Trent. The end of the episode has her going red ''the instant Trent shows up in her view''.
260* The running gags concerning the mysterious Mrs. Sullivan and what happened to Brittany's ha-"Never mind that now!"
261* Mystik Spiral's song that they're performing at the beginning of the episode.
262-->'''Trent and Jesse:''' OW! MY FACE! OW! MY NOSE! OW! MY FACE! OW! MY NOSE!
263
264[[AC: Fair Enough]]
265* When Quinn is practicing her lines for the fair's production of ''Literature/TheCanterburyTales'' in the car:
266-->'''Quinn:''' "I will make a dainty garland for my head and sing. I will make a dainty garland for my head and sing. I will make a dainty garland for my head and sing."
267-->'''Daria:''' With a hey-nonny-nonny, tra-la, tra-la. Would you give it a rest?
268** Even funnier is how Quinn's recitations are jam packed with AcCENTUponTheWrongSylLABle, with the accent on a different syllable each time.
269* Mr. [=DeMartino=] as The Black Knight knocking down the Three J's and yelling, "Next!"
270* Daria and Jane protesting to the carnie about letting a hysterically sobbing Stacy onto the Ferris wheel with them.
271-->'''Daria''': Excuse me, you can't do this.
272-->'''Jane''': We're human beings, damn it!
273* The unnamed pissed-off teenager harassing Jake throughout most of the episode, especially the dinner theater part where he calls him, "Pops" and instigates the food fight when Jake gets angry over Quinn embarrassing herself in the play.
274* To keep Kevin from performing his part in the play, Brittany continually tells him that they just haven't reached school yet. ''And he keeps falling for it.''
275--> '''Kevin:''' Now babe, I ''know'' it doesn't take this long to get to school.
276--> '''Brittany:''' Are you ''suuure''?
277--> '''Kevin:''' Aw, man!
278* Mr. O'Neill tells the three J's he wants one of them to be placeholder for Kevin in the play and that he's ''sure'' Kevin has a perfectly good reason for being late and "sabotaging my play."
279* Joey and Jamie trick Jeffy into using "The Pardoner's Tale" (which talks about lust and drinking) for his script instead of Palomon's part in "The Knight's Tale." They get away with it because all Jeffy can remember is that his role begins with "P".
280
281[[AC: See Jane Run]]
282* Jake thinks Daria is home late because she has found a boyfriend. Daria doesn't just [[SureLetsGoWithThat roll with it]], she trolls him ruthlessly. "He's a senior and he [[AllGirlsWantBadBoys carves words into his arm]]".
283-->'''Daria''': I'm kidding.\
284'''Jake''': Of course you are, kiddo. I knew that.\
285'''Daria''': Oh. If someone named Knuckles calls, it's for me.
286
287[[AC: Pierce Me]]
288* The ENTIRE phone scene where Daria and Trent don't get to speak freely to each other, including Helen's DoubleEntendre "Don't you think it's a bit late to be soliciting people?!"
289* Daria reading the list of body parts that the piercing parlor does and mistakes "vulva"[[note]]the outer female genitals[[/note]] for "uvula"[[note]]the fleshly ball that hangs in the back of your mouth[[/note]].
290-->'''Daria''': Uh, I don't think that's how you spell "uvula"
291-->'''Piercing Parlor Clerk''': It's not "uvula".
292* Daria's shown Jane her new piercing.
293-->'''Jane''': So you ''did'' go out with Trent.
294-->'''Daria''': Shopping for your birthday present--oops. He wanted to surprise you.
295-->'''Jane''': And he got me a hole in your navel. That ''is'' a surprise.
296
297[[AC: Write Where It Hurts]]
298* At the beginning of the episode, Kevin saying something so profoundly stupid it makes Mr. O'Neil cry in frustration.
299-->'''Mr. O'Neil:''' Now, keeping that in mind, I want you each to select a book from the list in front of you for a report on its moral intention. ''<Kevin raises his hand>'' Yes, Kevin?
300-->'''Kevin:''' [[CluelessAesop People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones!]] ''<to Brittany>'' I got one, babe! I got one!
301-->''<Mr. O'Neil breaks down sobbing>''
302* Jane advises Daria on an English assignment:
303-->'''Jane''': Well, what's your definition of true?
304-->'''Daria''': Something that says something.
305-->'''Jane''': What, anything?
306-->'''Daria''': No, something, about something.
307-->'''Jane''': Let me get this straight, you're telling me that you want to write something, not just anything, that says something about something.
308-->'''Daria''': Right.
309-->'''Jane''': Gee, who'd ever believe you having trouble communicating.
310* Daria's Creator/JaneAusten-esque story. One moment includes Daria explaining to Quinn that when she said Tren-er, Mr. Lane causes "[[SesquipedalianLoquaciousness bemusement rather than endearment]]," she basically meant, "[[AnachronismStew He's flaky]]." Another comes at the end of the story, when Quinn's talk of marriage inadvertently scares away Mr. Lane and his "hunting party", which consisted of 1800s versions of Jesse, Joey, Jeffy, and Jamie.
311** Also Quinn's period-film pronunciation of "huh?"
312* During the story about her family in the future, Quinn tells her kids to watch something educational. A couple seconds later, Sick Sad World is heard. Daria and Quinn yell, "Not ''that''!"
313** More specifically, you don't even hear the title. Just the announcer's unmistakable voice, incredulously proclaiming, "Breast implants ''for chickens?!''"
314* The end.
315-->'''Jane:''' Daria, you think maybe someday you'll let me read your story?
316-->'''Daria:''' No, but I can show you the one I wrote where you run away with Kevin.
317-->'''Jane:''' WHAT?
318** The story in question is a parody of ''Film/TheGraduate'' with Jane as Benjamin stopping Kevin's wedding to Brittany. He runs away with her while Brittany excitedly throws the bouquet in the air.
319* Continuing the funny Daria and Jane exchanges:
320-->'''Jane''': So, how's the story coming? Or does it disturb you if I talk while you're writing?
321-->'''Daria''': It would disturb me if I were actually ''doing'' any writing.
322-->'''Jane''': What's the problem? Take people you know, and have them do anything you want. {''curls and raises her fist''} I'd make 'em crawl, I tell you. ''Crawl!''
323-->'''Daria''': Easy there, tiger.
324* Daria's story where Helen and Jake are laid back and wish Quinn could be more like her, to the point that Quinn runs out of the house in tears over what Daria's "perfection" has done to her. And Daria feels they should at least tell her about the eight lane highway that was built outside the house during the night. Cue the sounds of a car crash and Quinn screaming "Ow! GOD!"
325* The story about Jake as a power hungry knight seeking a hag version of Helen to grant him power.
326-->'''Jake''': Unholy mother, sister of Satan, tell me what you see in your filthy brew! Say what the mists of time hold for me!
327-->'''Helen''': Have you my payment? The tender liver of a newborn babe.
328-->'''Jake''': I um, was in a rush, will you take a check?
329-->'''Helen''': A '''CHECK?!''' Have you two forms of ID?
330** Hag Helen then uses her powers to switch identities with Jake, so that she's the power hungry knight who wants to rule while he's the hag.
331--->'''Helen''': Tell me you can bring me power! Power to crush my enemies, to triumph over all!
332--->'''Jake''': I can't wait to taste this stew!
333--->'''Helen''': For I swear by the unholy imp that spawned you, I WILL rule the land!
334--->'''Jake''': But what do I get to rule?
335--->'''Helen''': Silence, toothless hag!
336--->'''Jake''': You don't have to get personal.
337** Later at Mr. O'Neil's suggestion of including a card game in the story, Daria rewrites this story, but with Mack and Jodie instead of Jake and Helen.
338--->'''Jodie''': Have you my payment? The tender liver of a newborn babe.
339--->'''Mack''': Hmmm... I'm a little short on livers. Tell you what: play you a quick game of five-card stud for it.
340--->'''Jodie''': Jacks are wild.
341* At the beginning of the episode Jake tries a stew that he made, but at the first taste, [[LethalChef he begins coughing and gagging]] Helen comes in to talk to Daria as they both ignore Jake's carrying on in the background until...
342-->'''Jake:''' MY TONGUE! DEAR GOD, IT'S '''BLACK!!''' HELEN!
343[[/folder]]
344
345[[folder:Season Three]]
346
347[[AC: Depth Takes a Holiday]]
348* Despite the episode being considered too weird to be a ''Daria'' episode, the first meeting of Daria and the holidays is a good time for hysterical giggles. If anything, because it was just as random and unexpected for Daria as it was for the viewers.
349* Jane throughout the episode:
350** "Yeah, bollocks!"
351** "No Guy Fawkes Day?!"
352** At one point Jane's just whistling and asks Daria to name the tune.
353--->'''Daria''': Jane's theme?
354--->'''Jane''': Damn you, woman!
355** Valentine's Day and St. Patrick's Day try laying another guilt trip on Daria and Jane.
356--->'''St. Patrick's Day''': Let's go for a little walk. I'm buying.
357--->'''Jane''': You're buying ''what''?
358--->'''St. Patrick's Day''': Oh, we'll figure that out when we get there.
359* After seeing what life without holidays is like:
360--->'''St. Patrick's Day''': You see Daria, [[ItsAWonderfulPlot you really had a wonderful life.]]
361--->'''Daria''': [[WrongGenreSavvy What the hell are you talking about?]]
362* "I'm a teen holiday, and it sucks!" sung by the Sid Vicious {{Expy}} that is the personification of Guy Fawkes Day.
363* Daria later finds St. Patrick's Day and Valentine's Day BoundAndGagged inside her living room closet.
364
365[[AC: Through A Lens Darkly]]
366* Daria's monotone-laden scream when she first puts a contact lens against her eyeball.
367
368[[AC: Daria Dance Party]]
369* Brittany refuses to go to the dance with Kevin, as the last time, she caught him making out with another girl. She convinces all the cheerleaders to refuse him in solidarity, and an increasingly-desperate Kevin goes to Daria for advice. The entire dialogue ends with Kevin thinking ''Daria'' wants to go to the dance with him, and him bluntly refusing. Jane's response is hilarious.
370---> '''Jane''': *high-pitched yell* BUT WHAT ABOUT THE BABY!?
371
372[[AC: The Lost Girls]]
373* Jake's persistent confusion over the definition of the word 'edgy.'
374-->'''Val''': [[IceCreamKoan "Edgy" is going right up to the edge of the cliff and being able to see all the way down, and dancing anyway]].
375-->'''Jake''': '''[[DumbassHasAPoint WHAT THE HELL DOES]] ''[[DumbassHasAPoint THAT]]'' [[DumbassHasAPoint MEAN?!]]'''
376* Kevin and Brittany's colorful outfits for "School Colors Day."
377* Val claims [[BlatantLies she's 28 years old]]. Not even Kevin and Brittany are dumb enough to believe her.
378* Daria gets tasked with transcribing for Val. Instead she just writes "What am I doing here?".
379
380[[AC: It Happened One Nut]]
381* Tiffany attempting to council Daria on self-esteem in a really funny LampshadeHanging of her VerbalTic. In fact, everything Tiffany says in subsequent episodes becomes a [=CMoF=] because of this one scene. It's probably...just...because...she previously...got...very few ''lines''...so...I never...really noticed...she talks like ''thiiis...''...and that that...might make it difficult...to converse...at length...with people...
382** What clinched the scene was that if you pay attention, the camera does a slow zoom as Tiffany's talking, and pauses every time that she does.
383** This is also one of the few times Daria ever really gets pissed off at someone.
384--->'''Tiffany''': Friends can be... very...
385--->'''Daria''': Useful? Supportive? Purple?! WHAT?!
386--->'''Tiffany''': You made me lose my plaaace.
387* Jane trying to stop Trent and his bandmate from going the the nut place so he doesn't see Daria working there.
388-->'''Jane''': LOOK!! Monster trucks and naked models! NAKED! NAKED! NAKED!
389
390[[AC: Daria!]]
391* "Gah, Gah Dammit!", especially after other drivers catch Jake's road rage.
392-->'''Moral Father''': Quit swearing like a drunkard and get right with the Lord!
393-->'''Moral Mother''': We're a very moral family with a baby on board!
394-->'''Jake''': And I say GAH, GAH DAMMIT!
395-->'''Moral Parents''': Oh me oh my!
396-->'''Jake''': GAH, GAH DAMMIT!
397-->'''Moral Parents''': We hope that you die!
398* When Ms. Li announces the hurricane advisory has been upgraded to a hurricane warning, Jamie asks if everyone's going to die. Ms. Li replies "Not on school property!"
399* As the hurricane approaches, Helen's assistant asks if she can go home early to say goodbye to her family.
400-->'''Helen''' (''cheerfully''): Kiss the kids goodbye for me! [[ThatCameOutWrong I mean goodnight!]]
401** Helen's boss Eric starts breaking into a song that sounds like he's about to confess his love for her, only to get distracted and say that he'll email her later.
402* When Brittany sings, "They Must Be Worried", she spreads out her arms on the first two {{Title Drop}}s, smacking Daria, Jane, and Kevin in the faces. On the third title drop, the three of them try to shield themselves from Brittany, but she just keeps her arms down.
403* While crammed in a shed next to Brittany:
404-->'''Daria''': Um... Brittany? [[BoobBasedGag Do you mind pointing those things in another direction?]]
405-->'''Brittany''': Sorry.
406* Quinn and Helen being on edge because of the storm:
407-->'''Quinn''': I saw this TV movie about this really cute family of teens who got stranded during a hurricane. When they got nervous, they'd drink cocoa.
408-->'''Helen''': Now, sweetie, there's nothing to worry about.
409-->(''Door slams'')
410-->'''Helen''': ''Looters!''
411* Then there's Helen's phone call to Trent. We can't actually hear Trent, but guessing what he was saying is hardly rocket science.
412-->'''Helen''': Hello! Trent? You haven't seen the girls? (pause) Are your parents there? (pause) Are they in town at all? (pause) Have you done anything to prepare for this hurricane? (pause) '''Yes, Hurricane!''' Trent, I want you to come over and wait for the girls here. You'll be safer. (pause) '''Then put some on!''' And get over here, now, young man! (hangs up) Doesn't anyone in this town wear pants anymore?
413** At the beginning there's Trent, asleep in his underwear, waking up to answer when Jake calls.
414--->'''Trent''': No, Daria's not here. You want the Morgendorffers.
415--->'''Jake''' (''stammering in anger''): I AM THE MORGENDORFFERS!
416* After Jake and Trent's musical number when they decide they have to find Daria and Jane:
417-->'''Jake:''' Your daughter and my sister are out there-
418-->'''Trent:''' That doesn't sound right.
419-->'''Jake:''' and we've got to find them! It's our duty, dammit!
420* After Jake and Trent drive off to find the girls, we hear the sound of the car crashing. During "The Big Wet Rainstorm's Over," it's revealed Jake crashed into the tree on their front lawn.
421* Jodie and Mack's only roles consist of them not being entirely worried about Lawndale being destroyed a hurricane, and later their obvious disappointment that the town's still standing at the end.
422
423[[AC: Lane Miserables]]
424* Jane being visibly fed up with her spacey mother as Amanda gives the "if you hold a butterfly too tight" speech.
425-->'''Amanda''': You know, if you hold a butterfly too tightly in your hands, it will die. You have to let it go and be free. And if it comes back, then it's yours, and if it doesn't, then it wasn't really yours in the first place.
426-->'''Jane''' (''quietly seething with annoyance''): ''How about if you tear off its precious, little wings?''
427* When Jake opens the door and expects one of Quinn's dates but instead sees Monique, a girlfriend of Trent's. His reaction is hysterical considering he's been accused by Helen of not paying attention to his daughters.
428-->'''Jake''': Wow! I really ''don't'' know my kids!
429* After making peace with the idea that Trent wouldn't be a reliable long-term boyfriend, the episode ends with Daria having an involuntary fantasy where she and Trent are married and wealthy.
430
431[[AC: Jake of Hearts]]
432* This exchange following Jake's heart attack:
433-->'''Jake''': That's it, sweetie! Avenge my death.
434-->'''Daria''': You're not dying, dad.
435-->'''Jake''': Avenge me!
436-->'''Helen''': Jake you're going to give yourself a... never mind.
437* The DJ's from the same episode try to get the fashion club to go on a date with Upchuck:
438--->'''Sandi''': Tiffany, dear, would you please explain to the Spatula Man why a bumper sticker cannot possibly compensate for the shame and permanent reputation damage involved in a single date with Charles Ruttheimer?
439--->'''Tiffany''': Upchuck... eww.
440** Just before that when "The Spatula Man" attempts to dive into the crowd.
441* Helen's conversation with Eric during dinner before Jake's heart attack.
442-->'''Quinn''': Daddy you're using all the cheese!
443-->'''Helen''': Hey! What did the doctor tell you about cheese? ''(on the phone)'': No, not you, Eric! How would I know what the doctor told ''you'' about cheese? Why sure I'd love to hear what the doctor told you about cheese.
444** Jake's rant after that until he notices his arm is numb and passes out in the guacamole.
445* Daria fielding Helen and Quinn's phone calls.
446-->'''Daria''': She'll have to get back to you when she regains her sanity. ''({{Beat}})'' No, I don't know when that'll be.
447* Jake sobbing over how his father wouldn't even teach him how to shave.
448-->'''Ruth''': Now Jake, you know your father had a razor phobia.
449-->'''Jake''': I had to learn behind the munitions hut, from Corporal Ellenbogen!
450-->'''Ruth''' (''horrified''): That man with ''one thumb?!''
451
452[[AC: Speedtrapped]]
453* The show cuts to the commercial bumper right after Daria finds out the money needed to bail Jane and Mystik Spiral out of jail went missing, then immediately cuts ''back'' to the show (with a RecordNeedleScratch, no less, so that Quinn could debunk Daria's suspicions that the hitchhiker stole it. (Quinn ''gave'' him the money so he could buy her some new clothes.)
454* Max crying about how the state trooper was going to drag him out of the car and beat him after Jane, Trent, and the rest of Mystik Spiral were detained for a minor traffic violation and not having the fine to pay it off.
455* Daria reading through Trent's lyric notebook and her response ("Please let this be a first draft").
456
457
458[[AC:Jane's Addition]]
459*
460-->'''Jane''': Trent, I don't care if [Daria] forgives you, I'm never speaking to you again.
461-->'''Trent''': You just did.
462-->'''Jane''': Damn!
463* "The Emotional Trauma Cycle of a High School Student", a video assignment Daria and Jane completed about the "5 Stages of Grief" (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance). It ended in "Acceptance." Acceptance meaning Jane receiving a college acceptance letter.
464-->'''Daria''': Stage Three: Bargaining.
465-->'''Jane''': Please mom! If you don't make me go back there, I'll clean the garage every month for the rest of my life!
466-->'''Jane playing her mother''': We have a ''garage''?
467** "Stage Four: Anger" consisted of Mr. [=DeMartino=] freaking out over the two approaching him with a microphone. Even better, there's an animation gag where his arm goes behind his bulging eye.
468* The epic lampshading of the Morgendorffer's family dynamic.
469-->'''Helen:''' Meeting!
470-->'''Jake:''' Golf!
471-->'''Quinn:''' Date!
472-->'''Daria:''' <<Sarcasm>>.
473* And then there's Upchuck's video presentation, which is just a single shot of his smarmy face with triumphant music playing.
474
475[[/folder]]
476
477[[folder: Season Four]]
478[[AC: Partner's Complaint]]
479* Jane and Brittany are working on a class assignment together at Jane's house [[note]] Daria was refusing to talk to Jane because she was still mad about Jane dating Tom, and Kevin and Brittany were arguing over who was smarter[[/note]] when Trent walks in.
480-->'''Trent:''' Hey, Janey. Hey Da... [sees Brittany] WHOOOAAH!
481* While Kevin and Brittany are fighting because Kevin thinks he's smarter than her, they both selected the topic of purchasing a car for their economics project. Brittany gloats about she and Jane managed to get a price that was much lower than Kevin and Mack did, which leads to the confirmation that Brittany truly is smarter than Kevin because ''[[EpicFail he actually bought the car]]''.
482-->'''Kevin''': Let's see the paperwork!
483-->'''Brittany''': What do you mean? I didn't ''really'' buy the car.
484-->'''Jodie''': Yeah Kevin, [[ObliviousGuiltSlinging she'd have to be an idiot to think Mrs. Bennett actually wanted her to go through with the purchase]].
485-->(''Cue massive OhCrap expression on Kevin's face'')
486-->'''Kevin''': I gotta get to that car place!
487** The next day Kevin is shown having an hysterical breakdown during the presentation because of how much money he spent.
488
489[[AC: Anti Social Climbers]]
490* Jane talks about being a Girl Scout (and having to sing "John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt") as if she'd been in a cult.
491* Everyone on a school camping trip gets stranded in the mountains, and Quinn inadvertently had her admirers carry her extra bags and leave behind vital survival gear. Daria and Jane comment about how their lives are in danger, but at least they may get to see a lynching as a crowd of angry students surrounds Quinn.
492* Jane and Daria keep trading a $20 bill back and forth over a series of wagers while they're trapped in a mountain cabin. It finally culminates in Daria handing the bill to Jane after they encounter Daria's parents (on a couple's retreat) and Mr. [=DeMartino=] engaged in a game of charades.
493-->'''Jane''': What's this for?
494-->'''Daria''': Hush money.
495
496[[AC: A Tree Grows in Lawndale]]
497* Brittany grieves over Kevin refusing to play football or date her after spraining his ankle. Daria overhears, and decides to put some of Brittany's nonsensical laments into a StylisticSuck song: "Armpits have feeling/but not for me/Now what do I do/With lips empty?" Mr. O'Neil reads the lyrics, and praises the depth and raw emotion. After Daria gives Brittany credit, Mr. O'Neil gives Brittany an A.
498* The transfer student Ms. Li gets in the school and on the football team is more or less a complete idiot who seems to have suffered more than a few football related head injuries. His idea of practice is saying the other players get rewarded by being allowed to kick him in the head for doing something right, and if they screw up he flat out says he'll murder them. Not only do the other players simply run away from him, even Ms. Li's scared of him too.
499* Jake's frantic because according to the local newspaper property values have dropped dramatically since Lawndale High's football team started losing. Helen has this to say:
500-->'''Helen''': Jake, that's ''The Lawndale Shopper''. It's written by an eighty year old man who, if you recall, had to be taken off the roof of his house by the fire department because he thought he was being chased by screaming mice.
501-->'''Jake''': That doesn't mean it isn't true!
502-->'''Quinn''': Oh daddy, mice don't scream.
503-->'''Daria''': Yeah, you're thinking of lobsters. Speaking of, who's up for seafood?
504* When Kevin wrecks the motorcycle into the tree, Jane comments on how this reminded her of a monkey crashing a bicycle at one of her birthday parties as a child. Daria responds "The difference being?"
505* When trying to figure out a way to get Kevin back to his old self, Tom asks, in response to something Jane and Daria said, "Why not send him back to elementary school?" Daria's immediate response is, "Because he wouldn't meet the minimum scholastic requirements."
506* Kevin's sudden recovery, complete with saccharine music and slow-motion.
507* Tommy Sherman's memorial tree is replaced by a crutch, and Brittany wonders how long it will take to sprout leaves.
508* When Kevin returns as the QB, he's lifted up in victory by his teammates, but quickly dropped. Upchuck reassures everyone that he landed on his head.
509
510[[AC: The F Word]]
511
512* This exchange between Mr. O'Neill and Mr. [=DeMartino=], while they and Ms. Barch watch the football game:
513-->'''Mr. O'Neill:''' Gosh, Anthony, this is marvelous! It's nice to see our students so enthusiastic and excited!
514-->'''Mr. [=DeMartino=]:''' You mean, instead of the way we ''usually'' see them, wishing '''FERVENTLY''' for our '''DEATHS?!'''
515* Jane's ImagineSpot of her potential life as a cheerleader: Jane has pigtails, Daria and Tom dressed in black and mourning her, and to cap it off, she and Kevin kiss!
516** Jane then proceeds to sabotage her cheerleading audition as such:
517-->'''Jane:''' (totally deadpan) Cheer, cheer, cheer. Yell, yell, yell. Who cares who wins? We're all going to hell.
518-->'''Cheerleaders:''' (all gasp)
519-->'''Jane:''' If my peppy doesn't work for you, [[FromBadToWorse I can always try my perky]].
520
521[[AC: Mart of Darkness]]
522* Frankly, the entire episode.
523* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PMTspFW46dw "CHEESE LOGS!!"]] one of the best [[RunningGag]]s.
524* Jane wants to get some art supplies, but she didn't mention that she wanted gummy bears. Sure enough when she vents to Daria about it, Daria actually sides with Tom (since Jane didn't mention those were art supplies) and asks if he eats paint, too.
525-->'''Jane:''' I don't have a leg to stand on, do I?\
526'''Daria:''' I wasn't going to say anything, stumpy.
527* Tom feeling like he is SurroundedByIdiots.
528--> '''Tom''': "What would anyone do with that much ketchup?"
529--> '''Jesse''': Uh... [[CaptainObvious Put it on hamburgers?]]
530** Trent looking for headlights for his car, only for him to not know what model. He says "Oh, that's important isn't it?"
531* Jesse using scented candles and deodorant as a substitute for bathing because chicks dig it more. Cue the Fashion Club walking behind them saying "UGH! What is that smell?"
532* Quinn is on the phone with Stacy when she breaks a lace on her bag. She freaks and says she has to get off the phone. She then goes, "No, Stacy it's not you. It's not. It's NOT! Ok fine, it ''is'' you! Bye!" Stacy can be heard crying as Quinn hangs up the phone.
533* This interaction between Dr. [=DeMartino=], Brittany and Kevin:
534--> '''Kevin:''' Mr. D! I thought you were at the barbeque. What are you doing here?
535-->'''Mr. [=DeMartino=]:''' I'm sorry if my shopping cart has confused you, Kevin! [[DeadpanSnarker I'm here for the command performance of Madame Butterfly in the automotive department]]!
536-->'''Brittany:''' Wow, Kevie, [[ComicallyMissingThePoint This store really does have everything]]!
537-->'''Kevin:''' No kidding, babe. (to Mr. [=DeMartino=]) [[RuleOfFunny Have fun at the butterfly show]]!
538
539
540[[AC: Legends of the Mall]]
541* "Dad, you G-D idiot."
542* The story of Metalmouth is pretty creepy... up until this moment:
543-->'''Mr. [=DeMartino=]:''' Of course, some of you may take COMFORT in the fact that the ROCKS inside your HEADS are harder than wood, BUT I asSURE you that ''(a radio reception starts inside his teeth)''..GIRLS JUST WANNA HAVE FU-UUUN!!!!! ''(covers mouth)''
544-->'''Trent (VO):''' They picked up radio stations.
545-->'''Mr. [=DeMartino=]:''' So, if I may reTURN to our discussion on drill safety, this is the chuck and ''(reception starts again)''..not the fortunate one, cause girls just wanna, they JUST--''(it stops)'' Wait a minute. Chucks-- ''(begins again)'' JUST WANNA HAVE FUUUU-UUUUN!! ''(ends again)'' That's why you don't... ''(begins yet again)'' wanna, they just wanna, GIIIIIIIIIIIIRLS!!!!!!!!!!
546-->''(The entire class breaks down in laughter and Mr. [=DeMartino=] runs out)''
547-->'''Jeffy:''' What a doof.
548-->'''Kevin:''' Hey, I know what's fun. Let's drill a hole in my shoe!
549
550[[AC: I Loathe a Parade]]
551* Daria is stalked by a guy in an animal costume, and the guy faints because he doesn't get enough air. Daria pulls off the mask.
552--> '''Daria''': It's Mr O'Neill!
553--> '''Tom''': [[Franchise/ScoobyDoo And he would have gotten away with it if it wasn't for us meddling kids]]!
554* Tad Gupty clashing with Sandi from the Fashion Club.
555--> '''Tad:''' You're a mean, old witch!
556--> '''Sandi:''' [[ITakeOffenseToThatLastOne I am NOT old!]]
557
558[[AC: Psycho Therapy]]
559* Jake and Helen acting as each other for a therapy session...until Jake goes too far and hurts Helen's feelings.
560** There's also Quinn and Daria:
561-->'''Therapist:''' Quinn? You try being Daria.
562-->'''Quinn:''' Oh, why don't I just step in front of a train?
563-->'''Therapist:''' Come on, now Quinn. Try being Daria.
564-->'''Quinn:''' I just did.
565-->'''Daria:''' I am NOT suicidal!
566-->'''Therapist:''' OK Daria. You try being Quinn now.
567-->'''Daria:''' OK. ''Now'' I'm suicidal.
568* Jane's live camera website ends disastrously when Tom unwittingly shakes his ass in front of the camera. Daria's later informed Tom get miffed again when he got fan mail. From inmates.
569
570[[AC: Groped by an Angel]]
571--> '''Jeffy''': A guardian angel is like this dude that follows you around and makes sure you don't get into trouble.
572--> '''Joey''': Oh, like a parole officer!
573* A couple times throughout the episode, Trent tries to explain to his bandmate that "below subzero" is a redundant concept. His bandmate doesn't accept it.
574
575[[AC: Fire!]]
576* Jane taking out her SuppressedRage over Tom and Daria by stabbing her canvas in art class. Ms. Defoe even tries to calmly talk Jane down, but gives up after Jane rips through the canvas.
577
578[[/folder]]
579
580[[folder: Is It Fall Yet?]]
581* The opening showing all the characters at the beach.
582** Mr O'Neil wiggles his tush in speedos.
583** Upchuck ogles girls while buried up to his neck in sand.
584** Jane paints a zombie apocalypse.
585** Mr [=DeMartino=] emerges from the sea covered in seaweed and jellyfish. He freaks out a bunch of kids, while visibly in shock from the jellyfish stings.
586** The song itself has some hilariously downbeat lyrics despite the cheery tune.
587* After being told by Helen that she has no choice about working at Mr. O'Neil's summer camp, Daria replies:
588-->"What about my feelings? What about my rights?" {{Beat}} "What about my bribe?"
589* Tiffany uses a toaster as a mirror saying "this toaster is ''soooo''' shiny!"
590* Trent reassures Daria that Jane will forgive her in her own time. [[InnocentlyInsensitive He then starts improvising some lyrics for a song where every line opens up with "Betrayal!".]]
591* The "bloopers." Highlights include:
592** Quinn shoving Sandi's face into her salad.
593** Sandi flipping David off.
594** Jane and her guide walking in on the art colony girls completely naked.
595** Tom getting an eyeful of an annoyed Helen's cleavage.
596** [[EyeScream Mr. [=DeMartino's=] eye finally popping out of the socket.]]
597** Mr. O'Neill in "Kiss Me I'm Irish" boxer shorts on the camp bus, much to the shock and horror of everybody on it.
598** Quinn reading the script while Helen's lifting weights behind her.
599** Tiffany poking herself in the eye while fixing her makeup.
600** Brittany tripping and kicking Kevin in the crotch.
601** Jodie getting her hair caught in the paper shredder.
602** A homeless guy in the soup kitchen barfing on Mack.
603** Link breaking character and laughing
604** Daria groping the commune's sleazy teacher with a creepy smile on her face.
605** Kevin being forced to demonstrate mouth-to-mouth on [[FanDisservice Mrs Johansen while she's wearing a swimsuit.]]
606** Daria, Jane, Jodie and Andrea as Mystik Spiral
607** Jane hitting her head on a boom mic as she enters the art colony.
608** Helen and Jake making faces.
609** Daria and Jane posing seductively on Tom's car.
610** The pool ladder breaking off with the head lifeguard on it.
611** Quinn getting hit with a houseplant.
612** Jake reading a porno mag.
613** Jane picking her nose.
614** Mr. DeMartino ripping his pants.
615** Daria, Jane, Ms. Li, Ms. Barch and Alison smoking and playing poker.
616** Daria pushing the Tank.
617** Jane's gallery full of clown portraits.
618** Tiffany giving Stacey rabbit ears.
619** Daria tripping Jane.
620** Helen accidentally ripping off Daria's curtains.
621** The front door falling on Daria while Tom tries to stop it.
622[[/folder]]
623
624[[folder: Season Five]]
625[[AC: Fizz Ed]]
626* Daria and Jane joke that Kevin and Brittany will be obligated to name their first born child after Ultra Cola once the contract goes into effect. Kevin, nitwit that he is, is more than happy to name his future son "Ultra Cola Thompson."
627** Jane asking if they were seriously gonna name their kid "Kevin Jr.".
628* The cheerleaders' (all dressed in giant cans) perform a slow moving cheer that ends with them rolling off each other.
629* Ms. Li's caffeine induced breakdown after the stress of trying to appease the Ultra Cola people and drinking too much Ultra Cola makes her snap.
630
631[[AC: Sappy Anniversary]]
632* Jake's meltdown after his computer crashes in the middle of a project he was working on.
633-->'''Jake:''' Damn computer! It ate everything! Big, fat, smug, damn stupid crappy piece of crappy crap!
634* Jane's hurried back-pedaling after she catches herself remembering Tom's [[GrandRomanticGesture romantic gestures]] with her, having just assured Daria that that wasn't his thing.
635-->'''Jane:''' And the bread sticks were stale. I mean ''really'' stale. ''[{{Beat}}]'' Bad bread sticks. ''[{{Beat}}]'' Ew.
636
637[[AC: Lucky Strike]]
638*
639-->'''Ms. Li:''' Students of ''Lawndale'' High. Your attention, please.\
640'''Jane''': Is that the voice in my head that tells me to "kill and kill" again? \
641'''Daria''': No. Satan's voice is lower and he has a British accent.
642*
643-->''We need a lot more money! / This really isn't funny! / You don't pay us enough to buy honey!''
644-->[after complaints by some teachers]
645-->Mr. Demartino: Hey! I threw out the rhyme about the bunny!
646** The teachers then get [[HippieTeacher Mr. O'Neill]] to write them a new chant. He enlists the help of ''Trent''.
647--->Have you ever been to the children's zoo? When the birdies say "cheep", they're talkin' 'bout you! ({{beat}}) Nah.
648* The moment Quinn starts talking about how her sub was flirting with a student, Daria gets up from the table and brings the phone to her mother like it was instinct.
649-->'''Helen''': Daria! Get me the- (''sees Daria in front of her with the phone'') Thank you.
650* This exchange:
651-->'''Ms. Li:''' Don't think you can intimiate--intermolate--don't think you can ''scare'' me with your threat to picket naked!
652-->'''Mr. [=DeMartino=]:''' You think I'm '''''bluffing?!''''' This is Goodwill polyester I've been sweating in '''''all night.''''' I '''''want''''' to picket naked!
653-->'''Ms. Li:''' All right! A two percent raise and a space heater for the teacher's lounge.
654-->'''Mr. [=DeMartino=]:''' ''(tugs on collar)'' '''''Boy!''''' It's getting '''''hot''''' in here!
655* Ms. Li, after a sleepless night of tense negotiations, announces the end of the strike on the PA system:
656--> People of Mars! I mean, students of Lawndale High. This is your leader... um, principal. What was I saying? Oh! The teachers... the teachers... the strike's over! Your teachers will be back tomorrow! Good ni... day.
657* Despite the fact that the substitute was hitting on Tiffany, his metaphor about "the older man making bloom the young flower" goes completely lost on Tiffany.
658-->'''Tiffany''': You're writing about gardening?
659* Daria as Substitute English teacher. HilarityEnsues.
660**
661--->'''Daria''': Ok, We know Mr. O'Neall asigned a play and you're ''pretty sure'' the title didn't contain the word "Alien". Do you remember anything else? \
662'''Joey''': Uh... I think the guy in the cover was wearing tights.\
663'''Daria''': Uhm. Since there're no wrestlers in dramas on the syllabus, I'm guessing [[Creator/WilliamShakespeare Shakespeare]]. \
664'''Jeffey''': Wait, I remember now! He's a stalker. He follows girls home from parties and peeks on their windows. \
665'''Daria''': ''Theatre/RomeoAndJuliet''.
666** During all the classes, Daria kept calling any of the J's "Joey, Jeffy or Jamie".
667**
668--->'''Daria''': Thanks, "Joey, Jeffy or Jamie". Creator/LaurenceOlivier [[SarcasmMode in his present state couldn't have done better.]]\
669'''Jamie''': [[SarcasmBlind Cool!]] \
670'''Jeffy''': What does "Woe" mean? \
671'''Daria''': It's like the feeling you'd get if the Superbowl were preempted by Antiques Roadshow. \
672'''Joey''': Whoa!! \
673'''Daria''': See?
674**
675--->'''Daria''': Ok, you've read the play, tomorrow you take the test. [all the students whine] Sorry, orders from above. I'd suggest you cheat off your neighbours, but considering who most of you are sitting next to...
676** After giving Jeffy's test back:
677--->'''Jeffy''': A "B"! You mean, you think [[HoYay Mercutio had a thing for Romeo too]]? \
678'''Daria''': No, but you argued your point well, and I thought your ideas for "keeping him out of the locker room" were original, if a little close-minded.
679** Sandi got a "D-" on her test. Why?
680--->'''Daria''': ''I'' should have failed you too. See, in Shakespeare's version [[Film/WilliamShakespearesRomeoAndJuliet Romeo never goes by the name]] ''[[Creator/LeonardoDiCaprio "Leonardo"]]'', [[Film/WilliamShakespearesRomeoAndJuliet or takes a swim in his clothes]]. But I gave you an extra credit for realizing that [[TheFilmOfTheBook the movie and the play were somehow connected]].
681** Stacy realized that [[BrickJoke they shouldn't have copied from each other]].
682* As Upchuck is spying into Ms. Li's office as the teachers threaten to go on strike.
683-->'''Upchuck:''' Ooh! I like what I'm seeing!
684-->'''Jane:''' Watching Ms. Li change into her support hose again?
685-->'''Daria:''' That's another habit that'll lead to blindness, Upchuck.
686-->'''Jane:''' But in this case, [[BrainBleach you'll wish for it.]]
687* After negotiating for a pay raise, Mr. [=DeMartino=] feels invincible, right until he asks Kevin which war gained America its freedom from British rule. Kevin thinks it was the Gulf War, and Mr. [=DeMartino=]'s self-confidence plummets once more.
688[[AC: One J At a Time]]
689* Daria's mother convinces her to finally invite Tom over for dinner to get to know her parents, but she's worried that Jake's eccentric personality and temper is gonna scare him off - but of course, she needn't worry as we get some of the funniest "male bonding" between Jake, Tom and Quinn's third boyfriend that week when they all storm out of the house mid-dinner to catch a squirrel and go go-karting.
690[[/folder]]
691
692[[folder: Is It College Yet?]]
693* "Curse-B-Gone. No animals were harmed in the making of this product, except the ones we sacrificed."
694* Mr. [=DeMartino=] getting punched in his good eye after he forces Mr. O'Neill to break up with Ms. Barch.
695** Later, when Ms. Barch takes Mr. O'Neill back, [=DeMartino=] bangs his head against the stage pole in frustration.
696* When Mr. [=DeMartino=] is congratulating Daria on getting the Outstanding Academic Achievement Award, he ''actually'' says, "You go girlfriend!"
697[[/folder]]

Top