Line #25 Funny/CountDuckula


1	* When Igor is trying to teach Duckula about his ancestors:
2	--> '''Duckula:''' "I don't want to hear about my forebears, my three bears, Goldilocks or anything else in this rotten dreary hole!"
3	* When Duckula's computer messes with some numbers at the bank we see an old lady checking her balance. The teller reads (mistakenly) that she is worth ten million Drachmas.
4	--> "Ten million! Marry me, you temptress. You vixen of desire."
5	* In "No Yaks Please We're Tibetan", Ruffles' gang of thieves are climbing up a mountain in the Himalayas, planning to steal a huge collection of yakhair carpets and sell them for a fortune in the department stores of Europe and America.
6	-->'''Burt:''' Er, boss?\
7	'''Ruffles:''' ''(to himself, frustrated)'' I don't believe it... ''(to Burt)'' What now!?\
8	'''Burt:''' Erm... wot's a yak?\
9	'''Ruffles:''' ''(standing on a ledge while the other thieves hang on a rope over the edge, oblivious to the huge yak standing right behind him)'' "Wot's a yak," he says! A yak is a great fat stupid 'airy great cow wot grows in Tibet. Now, 'ave you got any more stupid questions!?\
10	'''Burt:''' Er... no, boss.\
11	'''Ruffles:''' Good! ''(the yak steps on Burt's fingers)''\
12	'''Burt:''' Well, just a little one.\
13	'''Ruffles:''' Oh, ''Gordon Bennett''... WHAT!?\
14	'''Burt:''' Well, it's just, er, could you get your boot off my fingers?\
15	''(Ruffles groans in frustration; the yak steps off Burt's fingers)''\
16	'''Burt:''' Oh, thank you, boss. ''(he lets go of the ledge; [[GravityIsAHarshMistress gravity kicks in, and the four thieves plummet screaming down the mountainside]]) (CRASH) (CRASH) (CRASH) ({{Beat}}) (CRASH)''
17	* The entire [[WhosOnFirst Hoomite Yubi]] sequence from the first episode' "No Sax Please We're Egyptian". Especially Duckula's SanitySlippage at the end, when Nanny shows up and it looks like the whole thing is starting over again.
18	** Hoomite and Yubi were first seen in the flashback to Duckula's great-great-etc.-uncle, the Archduck, exploring the pyramid. The first part of the scene is the payoff of the BrickJoke of their names:
19	--->''(we see a blurred shot of Hoomite through Duckula's eyes)''\
20	'''Hoomite:''' He's coming round!\
21	'''Duckula:''' ''(groans and sits up)'' Oh... where am I?\
22	'''Hoomite:''' You are in the secret temple of the great god Ra! You have trespassed in Upshi's sacred tomb!\
23	'''Duckula:''' Oh. Oh no. Who are you?\
24	'''Hoomite:''' I am Hoomite, high priest of the great god Ra. And this is my assistant Yubi.\
25	'''Yubi:''' Delighted, I'm sure.\
26	'''Duckula:''' Ah. Hello.\
27	'''Hoomite:''' Who might you be?\
28	'''Duckula:''' Yes, I got that.\
29	'''Hoomite:''' No, who might you be?\
30	'''Duckula:''' Yes, I know, I know, you said that already.\
31	'''Hoomite:''' ''(glaring at Duckula)'' So you will not tell me?\
32	'''Duckula:''' Well, I hardly need to, do I?
33	** Duckula has only himself to blame when things escalate due to a moment of grammar pedantry:
34	--->'''Hoomite:''' We shall see about that! Yubi, you try.\
35	'''Yubi:''' Oh, very well, Master. ''(clears throat)'' Listen. I am Yubi, right?\
36	'''Duckula:''' No, ''wrong''. "I am", "you ''are''".\
37	'''Yubi:''' Ah! There Master, he is Yuarr!\
38	'''Hoomite:''' So you are Yuarr?\
39	'''Duckula:''' I am not, I am not!\
40	'''Hoomite:''' Ah, you are Nott! He is not Yuarr, he is Nott!\
41	'''Yubi:''' You ''are'' Yuarr!\
42	'''Duckula:''' ''(waving his hands in a negative gesture)'' I am ''not'' Yuarr!\
43	'''Yubi:''' Oh, call me not Yuarr! I am not Yuarr, I am not Nott! I am Yubi!\
44	'''Duckula:''' ''(clears his throat)'' Look. Let us get this sorted out! Okay? I am ''not'' Nott, okay?\
45	'''Hoomite, Yubi:''' Okay.\
46	'''Duckula:''' I am ''not'' Yuarr! Okay?\
47	'''Hoomite, Yubi:''' Okay.\
48	'''Duckula:''' ''(pointing)'' But you are Hoomite, ''(Hoomite nods)'' and you are Yubi, okay?\
49	'''Hoomite, Yubi:''' Okay.\
50	'''Duckula:''' Whew.\
51	'''Hoomite:''' But...\
52	'''Duckula:''' ''(impatiently)'' Yes?\
53	'''Hoomite:''' Who might you be?\
54	'''Duckula:''' ''(begins sobbing and gibbering)'' I can't stand, I can't stand anymore!
55	** The focus of the wordplay then shifts to a popular sailor's song:
56	--->'''Yubi:''' Of course you can't stand anymore! We've tied you to the sacrificial altar! And serves you right!\
57	'''Hoomite:''' Yes! All who trespass in the great pharaoh Upshi's sacred tomb shall die!\
58	'''Duckula:''' ''(gulps)'' All?\
59	'''Hoomite:''' You are but the latest of many! Our legends say that when the great god Ra has had his fill of human sacrifice, then Upshi shall rise from the dead!\
60	'''Duckula:''' Ah, ''human'' sacrifice!\
61	'''Yubi:''' Well, more or less human sacrifice, give or take a feather.\
62	'''Duckula:''' Now wait a minute, you can't do this to me!\
63	'''Yubi:''' Oh, you just hang around and see! ''(laughs)''\
64	'''Hoomite:''' We must! In order that our great pharaoh Upshi may rule again! Yes, he shall have his fill!\
65	'''Duckula:''' Who, Ra?\
66	'''Hoomite:''' And Upshi rises!\
67	''(Duckula hops out of his bindings and joins Hoomite and Yubi in a dance)''\
68	'''Duckula, Hoomite, Yubi:''' ''([[WaxingLyrical singing]])'' [[https://youtu.be/qGyPuey-1Jw Who, Ra, and Upshi rises]]!\
69	Hoo-rah, and up she rises!\
70	Hoo-rah, and up she rises!\
71	Ear-ly in the morning!\
72	'''Yubi:''' Excuse me...\
73	'''Duckula, Hoomite:''' ''(singing)'' Put 'im in the longboat 'til he's sober!\
74	'''Yubi:''' No, no, excuse me!...\
75	'''Duckula, Hoomite:''' ''(singing)'' Put 'im in the longboat 'til he's sober!\
76	'''Yubi:''' No, please, stop!\
77	'''Duckula:''' Wait a minute - huh?\
78	'''Yubi:''' I think I'm going to be seasick.\
79	'''Hoomite:''' Well, ''not in here!''\
80	'''Yubi:''' Oh, excuse me. ''(runs for the door of the tomb)''
81	** And then Nanny arrives and things start anew:
82	--->''(the door of the tomb opens to reveal Nanny standing behind it)''\
83	'''Nanny:''' Ooh, now then!\
84	'''Hoomite:''' ''(awed)'' It is Upshi! He has cast off his wrappings!\
85	'''Nanny:''' 'Ere! You watch it, saucy!\
86	'''Duckula:''' Upshi!?\
87	'''Yubi:''' Oh, yes, oh, look at that, look! ''(points to a mural of Upshi, [[IdenticalStranger who looks exactly like Nanny]])''\
88	'''Duckula:''' I don't believe it!\
89	'''Hoomite, Yubi:''' ''(prostrating themselves before Nanny)'' Upshi rises! Upshi rises!\
90	'''Nanny:''' Nothing of the sort! Don't be so silly! 'Ere, who might you be?\
91	'''Hoomite:''' He knows us! He knows us!\
92	'''Nanny:''' I see, Henozus, but who might you be?\
93	'''Duckula:''' ''(runs over and lifts Nanny in his arms)'' [[WeAreNotGoingThroughThatAgain No! No, no, not again, I'm not going through all that again!]] Come on, Nanny, quick! ''(runs out of the tomb; Nanny's head smashes on the top of the door, causing it to collapse)''
94	** The ThereWasADoor segment at the start of the episode. Nanny is bringing Duckula his hot coco and biscuits, and as usual just walks right through the wall. Duckula tells her to go back out and use the door.
95	--> '''Duckula''': I might've been killed!
96	--> '''Igor''': I know, sir.
97	--> '''Duckula''': And I haven't paid the electricity bill from the last time you brought me back to life. Nanny knocks on the door Ah, got it right this time! Come in, Nanny! Nanny smashes right through the door Now look what you've done, Nanny!
98	--> '''Nanny''': But Duckie-boo, [[ExactWords you said to come through the door!]]
99	--> '''Duckula''': I give up, I just give up...
100	** Nanny then puts the tray down on the table too heavily, causing the silverware to fly into the air and almost impale Duckula!
101	--> '''Igor''': I do wish you wouldn't do that, Nanny...
102	--> '''Duckula''': Not half as much as I do! Last time you killed three chambermaids and a footman!
103	--> '''Nanny''': Oh, they were only part time, sir. And the little blonde one never dusted the picture rails!
104	--> '''Duckula''': THAT IS IT!! I'm not taking anymore of this! I'm giving up my title, I'm going to run away to South America!
105	* Many appearances of Ruffles and his gang feature a RunningGag where they fall from a great height and land with four separate thuds, with a short delay before the fourth thud.
106	* Igor's nauseating saccharine personality after getting doused with Von Goosewing's personality altering chemicals. In that same episode, Duckula being transformed into a traditional vampire in the same manner. Even funnier is that Goosewing intended for the chemicals to turn Duckula into a non-vampire, but it instead did the opposite.
107	* Igor's hatred of Duckula's harmonica, which he hides at every opportunity.
108	* From "The Mutinous Penguins": "[[ItMakesSenseInContext Tie 'em to the comfy sofa]]!"
109	* Igor's worst nightmare in "The Zombie Awakes!": being surrounded by cute and cuddly bunnies.
110	* Igor's attempts in getting rid of engaged couple Scott and Laura in "Igor's Busy Day", all ending in [[EpicFail epic failure]]. Mostly due to Nanny's incompetence.
111	** First, he tries to deploy a FallingChandelierOfDoom, but the spyhole next to the trigger, the beak of a statue, is blocked off, and the nearest unblocked spyhole is too far from the beak. He tells Nanny to press the beak when he gives the word, but when Scott and Laura are standing under the chandelier, Nanny misunderstands and hits ''Igor's'' beak instead.
112	** Next, Igor tries to open a trap door in the library to dump Scott and Laura into the pit of the castle werewolf, Towser. However, he forgets which book acts as the trigger, and causes the bookshelf to swivel around and crush him. When he finally does find the correct book, the door gets stuck until Scott and Laura follow Duckula into the next room, and Igor himself tries stamping on the door... which opens and dumps him into Towser's pit.
113	** Later, Nanny finally realises that Igor wanted her to hit the beak of the statue. Unfortunately for Igor, ''he'' is now standing under the chandelier to sound the gong for dinner, and is crushed beneath it when it falls.
114	** Igor's plans to kill Scott and Laura at dinner are thwarted by Nanny spilling the poisoned soup and Laura's endless story of her large family boring him to sleep.
115	** He tries turning a crank to lower a platform of spikes onto their bed, but cannot get the crank to turn, and when he enlists Nanny's help, his coattails get caught in the gears, dragging him into the mechanism.
116	* In "The Lost Valley", Nanny knocking out a dinosaur with just a single jab in the stomach and then scolding it as if it was a child.
117	* From the comics, Igor commenting upon Duckula's latest ambition: "A vampire casts no reflection; neither can his image be captured on film. A slight impediment to a career as a movie star."
118	* In "Unreal Estate", Igor tries to sabotage Duckula's plans repeatedly. It backfires about as much as you'd expect.
119	* [[CatchPhrase "I'll]] [[ThereWasADoor get]] [[RunningGag it!"]]
120	** "Igor, order another door."
121	** "Hey-ho. Bye-bye, front door."
122	* In “Arctic Circles”, Igor tries to convince Doctor von Goosewing that Count Duckula as pulled a switcheroo with his new penguin butler. What follows is a bilingual WhosOnFirst routine and a set of escalating demands for headache tablets:
123	--> '''Goosewing:''' Okay, Igor, you were saying?\
124	'''Igor:''' I was saying, Doctor von Goosewing, that the master has gone mad. He has cast me out into the cold, cold snow and taken on a younger butler.\
125	(''Goosewing clicks his tongue sympathetically'')\
126	'''Igor:''' And that’s not all.\
127	'''Goosewing:''' It’s not?\
128	'''Igor:''' No. For some reason best known to himself, he has disguised himself as the penguin butler.\
129	'''Goosewing:''' Ja?\
130	'''Igor:''' Ja- er, yes. And he has disguised the butler as himself.\
131	'''Goosewing:''' But- but- but wait a moment, the butler ''is'' himself.\
132	'''Igor:''' No! The butler is now my master because my master is disguised as someone else (''cue Goosewing glancing at the screen with an expression of sheer bafflement''), ''because'' he is not himself.\
133	'''Goosewing:''' Heinrich, bring me a headache pill!\
134	'''Igor:''' Doctor von Goosewing, it is perfectly simple! One penguin is now Count Duckula, while the other penguins are penguins, except for the one who’s a duck.\
135	'''Goosewing:''' Make that a ''dozen'' headache pills, Heinrich. Are you trying to tell me that there is more than one penguin?\
136	'''Igor:''' Oh, yes, there is certainly more than one penguin, Doctor von Goosewing.\
137	'''Goosewing:''' How many more? Tell me.\
138	'''Igor:''' Nine. [[Note: homophone for ‘nein’, meaning ‘no’ in German]]\
139	'''Goosewing:''' But, you see, it is important that I know. Tell me how many more.\
140	'''Igor:''' (''annoyed at having to repeat himself'') ''Nine.''\
141	'''Goosewing:''' ''Rumplestiltskin! Tell me!''\
142	'''Igor:''' ''Nine! Nine! Nine!''\
143	'''Goosewing:''' ''Ja! Ja! JA!! TELL ME! TELL ME! TELL ME!!!''\
144	'''Igor:''' ''I have '''told''' you how many!''\
145	'''Goosewing:''' (''thoroughly confused at this stage'') Heinrich, just bring the bottle.\
146	'''Igor:''' Doctor von Goosewing, are you quite yourself?\
147	'''Goosewing:''' Well, I was when I left home. I just hope I’m not turning into a penguin.\

Context Funny / CountDuckula