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1[[quoteright:350:https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/vlcsnap_2022_05_03_22h39m52s510.png]]
2 [[caption-width-right:350:One of the many AmusingInjuries present in the show.]]
3[[AC: Series]]
4[[foldercontrol]]
5[[folder: General]]
6* Pretty much all of Richie and Eddie’s physical fights. Although over-the-top and violent, they’re hilarious at the same time.
7* Dave Hedgehog and Spudgun are pretty funny at various points.
8[[/folder]]
9[[folder: Season One]]
10!!Smells
11* "Hello Big-Tits. Looking for some action?" The quote just tells you everything you need to know about Richie’s goal in life.
12* Eddie is slumped on the sofa watching telly and drinking as Richie wonders how to get a girl:
13-->'''Eddie:''' I've just had a fantastic idea!
14-->'''Richie:''' Great!
15-->'''Eddie:''' ''(takes a few gulps of his pint and continues watching TV)''
16-->'''Richie:''' ...Well?
17-->'''Eddie:''' What?
18-->'''Richie:''' What was the fantastic idea?
19-->'''Eddie:''' ''(points to glass)'' To drink that.
20* Eddie suggests that Richie put an ad in the Lonely Hearts column.
21-->'''Richie''': That is absolutely brilliant! "Suave, sophisticated, witty" bababababa-aaaaaah! Let's just be economical with the truth. Um, something buck. Yeah, "Hot young buck".
22-->'''Eddie''': What about "badger"?
23-->'''Richie''': Nnnno, no, I'm more a sort of...
24-->'''Eddie''': "Hedgehog".
25-->'''Richie''': No, fox. That's good. No, that's good. No that is good.
26-->'''Eddie''': "Stoat".
27-->'''Richie''': Foxy stoat? Yeah! Yeah, it's got a ring to it. "Foxy stoat seeks..."
28-->'''Eddie''': "Pig"!
29-->'''Richie''': "Foxy stoat seeks pig." Shut up Eddie! This is very important. Let's see now, foxy stoat on the prowl. ''(purrs)'' I like that! Musky, musky fox, musky sly old foxy stoat, minky musky sly old stoaty stoaty stoat... Oh this is ridiculous!
30* The lads head to a sex shop for some pheromone spray:
31-->'''Eddie:''' This is a sex shop, isn't it?
32-->'''Owner:''' Yes, sir.
33-->'''Eddie:''' I'll have five quid's worth then!
34-->'''Owner:''' [[SarcasmMode Very funny, sir. I've never heard that one before.]]
35-->'''Eddie:''' Would you like me to tell it again?
36-->'''Owner:''' I'd rather have a pineapple inserted violently into my rectum.
37-->'''Eddie:''' [[ComicallyMissingThePoint You've been working here too long, mate.]]
38* Eddie trying to remove a hair from Richie's nose with pliers and throwing him around the bathroom. When Richie spots it in the mirror:
39-->'''Richie''': (''clicks fingers'') Tweezers?
40-->'''Eddie:''': What do you mean, "(''clicks fingers'') tweezers"? We’ve never had any tweezers.
41-->'''Richie''': (''annoyed'') Well, get some (''clicks fingers again'') pliers, then! It doesn't matter how much pheromone I put on, if some bird sees that coming at her out of the dark she's likely to pull on it and expect the butler to come in.
42* Their "shake and make up" - [[VisualPun wobble your cheeks and mime putting on lipstick]].
43* This word of advice:
44-->'''Eddie:''' Always keep your mouth open when you're insulting a lady.
45* Richie, attempting to get Eddie to join him in the men's room for some plot-related scheming, decides that the best way to get his attention would be to stand at the doors and bellow "Edward Hitler! Will you please join me in the lavatory ''THIS INSTANT!''" in front of the entire pub.
46-->"We're, um... toilet inspectors."
47
48!!Gas
49* The scene in which Richie and Eddie meet the gas man:
50--> '''Richie:''' Cripes...it's the gas man!\
51'''Gas man:''' Hello, I was wondering if I could just read your meter?\
52'''Richie:''' HELLO MR GAS MAN!\
53'''Gas man:''' Uh, yes, hello I was wondering if I could just-\
54'''Eddie:''' You what?\
55'''Richie:''' HELLO MR GAS MAN!\
56'''Gas man:''' Uh, yes, hello again-\
57'''Eddie:''' Mr who?\
58'''Richie:''' '''''[[LargeHam GAS MAN! GAS MAN! GAS MAN!]]'''''\
59''Eddie rushes into the kitchen to turn off the oven''\
60'''Gas man:''' Do you have someone who looks after you? Can I see them because I need to read your meter!\
61'''Eddie:''' Who is it, [[HoYay darling]]?\
62'''Richie:''' IT'S THE GAS MAN!\
63'''Gas man:''' Yes, I think we've established that.\
64'''Eddie:''' Don't leave him out in the cold, [[HoYay dreamboat]]. Show him in.\
65
66* When Richie and Eddie are trying to figure out what to do with the gas man’s body:
67-->'''Richie:''' What are we gonna do with the body???
68-->'''Eddie:''' What body? (''points to the floor to reveal that the body is no longer there'')
69-->'''Richie:''' Eddie, that is absolutely- (''trips over the rug and realises that Eddie has hidden the body under there'') pathetic.
70-->'''Eddie:''' Well, we’ve gotta flatten it out a bit.
71-->'''Richie:''' Oh, right. (''Richie and Eddie then proceed to jump up and down on the gas man’s body lying underneath the rug'')
72-->'''Richie:''' (''observing'') That’s not bad, actually. That’s pretty good. You know, I think we’re gonna get away with this.
73-->'''Eddie:''' Alright, I’ll pretend to be a policeman.
74-->'''Richie:''' Okay.
75-->'''Eddie:''' (''opens the door, walks out, knocks on it and then walks back in'') 'Ello, 'ello, 'ello, what’s that dead body doing under the carpet?
76* The scene where Eddie is writing in the gas man’s notebook in order to try and cover up what him and Richie initially thought was an accidental murder:
77--> '''Eddie:''' (writing in the notebook) ''No problem with the meter in this flat. Don’t check for another 300 years. Nice blokes, especially the one with the glasses, who wasn’t holding a frying pan. Nice atmos altogether, really.''
78-->'''Richie:''' (sitting on the sofa across the room) [[Creator/CharlesDickens Alright, Dickens.]] [[DeadpanSnarker Get on with it.]]
79-->'''Eddie:''' (''writing'') ''[[BlatantLies Left in high spirits to indulge in my hobby of bus surfing.]]''
80
81%%!!Contest
82%%
83!!Apocalypse
84* [[https://youtu.be/O5GhUY7Jhto "Edward Hitler! Come down here at once!"]]
85
86!!'s Up
87* Eddie, when Richie asks him to put his jacket on, back to front.
88-->'''Eddie:''' ...''Piss off.''
89* The scene where Richie tries to use a Cherokee rain-dance only to be shat on by a bird.
90-->'''Eddie''': What was your Red Indian name, then? "Running Mouth"? "Sitting Down"? "Talking Bollocks"?
91-->'''Richie''': Dances With the Wind.
92-->'''Eddie''': That'll be the curry again.
93* The headlines in the newspaper Eddie is reading say that the entire cast of ''Series/{{Brookside}}'' are lesbians, you can get AIDS from bicycling and Neil Kinnock's grandparents were homosexual martians.
94* The boys are on the roof of the shop enjoying a picnic. Richie has set up binoculars to enjoy a nearby cricket match.
95-->'''Richie''': It still hasn't started. Those stumps are very big, aren't they?
96-->'''Eddie''': Let's have a look ''(has a look)'' That's the rugby ground.
97
98* This scene:
99-->'''Eddie:''' Why are you putting mayonnaise on your face?
100-->'''Richie:''' It’s not mayonnaise, it’s suntan lotion.
101-->'''Eddie:''' (looks over at the bottle) Never heard of low-calorie suntan lotion.
102-->'''Richie:''' What? (reads the bottle) Oh, no! Blast! Oh, God! (gets rid of it with a towel) Well, where’s the suntan lotion??
103-->'''Eddie:''' You squirted that into your cheese roll.
104-->'''Richie:''' But I ate that!
105-->'''Eddie:''' Yeah, I know. (chuckling)
106-->'''Richie:''' Well, why didn’t you tell me?
107-->'''Eddie:''' Because I don’t like you very much.
108
109!!Accident
110* The entire misunderstanding over Eddie's present to Richie. The longer it goes on, the more absurd it gets:
111-->'''Richie:''' Madam Swish, 3:30? Oh Eddie, you haven't! Oh, what a pal you are! Madam Swish! Oo-euuh! God, at last, I'm really gonna do it! And on my birthday as well! I wonder what she's like!\
112'''Eddie:''' She's a dead cert, mate. A real stayer!\
113'''Richie:''' Really?\
114'''Eddie:''' Yeah, [[DoubleEntendre she'll come first]]!\
115'''Richie:''' What, before me?! Good grief, that's quick! So she'll think I'm great! Oh, what a pal you are! And it's all paid for?\
116'''Eddie:''' Not exactly, I'll need a tenner.\
117'''Richie:''' A tenner? That's quite cheap, isn't it?\
118'''Eddie:''' Well, no, in that case, it's a tenner each way.\
119'''Richie:''' ''[bewildered]'' Well, how many ways are there?\
120'''Eddie:''' Well, you'll come first, second, or third, won't you?\
121'''Richie:''' ''[visibly shocked]'' How many people are going to be there?!\
122'''Eddie:''' Well, a few thousand!\
123'''Richie:''' '''''[[BigWhat What!?]]'''''\
124'''Eddie:''' Well, it's Kempton!\
125'''Richie:''' Kempton!? I can't get down to Kempton by 3:30!\
126'''Eddie:''' You don't have to, mate! It'll be on the telly!\
127'''Richie:''' They're gonna televise it?! But what if my auntie's watching?!\
128'''Eddie:''' Well, what's illegal about betting on a horse?\
129'''Richie:''' A horse!?\
130'''Eddie:''' Yeah!\
131'''Richie:''' Madam Swish [[EurekaMoment is-is-is a horse]]!\
132'''Eddie:''' Yeah! What did you think it was?\
133'''Richie:''' Oh, nothing, nothing. Just checking.\
134'''Eddie:''' I have given you a red hot tip!\
135'''Richie:''' [[DoubleEntendre I know, and there's nothing I can do about it now, is there?!]]
136
137* The scene where Eddie gives Richie the smallest birthday present ever:
138-->'''Richie:''' Oh! By the way, Eddie... (Richie puts out his hand, expecting a birthday present from Eddie. However, he doesn’t realise that his hand has ended up in front of a very unfortunate place.)
139-->'''Eddie:''' (covers up where his crotch is with a horrified look on his face) What are you doing, now!?
140-->'''Richie:''' (singing, reminding Eddie of his birthday) ''Happy birthday, to me.''
141-->'''Eddie:''' (relieved) Oh, I see. (pulls out a very tiny present) Happy birthday, Richie.
142-->'''Richie:''' (excited) Oh, Eddie, you shouldn’t have! You know I don’t like anyone to make a fuss on my birthday! ([[MoodWhiplash Richie’s mood immediately changes once he sees how small it is,]] clearly pissed off at the size of the present.) It’s a bit small, isn’t it? Is this how much you value our relationship?? Oh well, I may as well be nice about it. [[MoodWhiplash Oh! I wonder what it is!]] Oh! It’s a comb! It’s my comb... It’s my comb that I lost last week.
143-->'''Eddie:''' And now, I’m giving it back to you! Happy birthday!
144-->'''Richie:''' Look, this isn’t some sort of joke, you know. This is ''my birthday.'' You take this wrapping paper and you get me something good, ''or else.''
145-->'''Eddie:''' Alright, alright. (wraps something up, with the present being bigger than the former)
146-->'''Richie:''' Oooh! That’s a bit more like it! That’s bigger, isn’t it? I wonder what it is! (opens it up) [[MoodWhiplash It’s the remote control from the television set.]]
147-->'''Eddie:''' That’s right! What do you wanna watch, birthday boy?
148* Eddie’s impression of Richie is just gold:
149-->'''Eddie:''' Oh! Oh! Why won’t anybody ever have it off with me?? Maybe it’s because I’m a big, fat, ugly bastard with a microscopic penis!
150
151-->'''Richie:''' What’s your name, again?
152-->'''Spudgun:''' Spudgun.
153-->'''Richie:''' Why do they call you that?
154-->'''Spudgun:''' Give me a potato and I’ll show you why.
155-->'''Eddie:''' Don’t, Richie. You don’t wanna see that.
156-->'''Richie:''' (to Hedgehog) Why do they call you, "Hedgehog"?
157-->'''Hedgehog:''' Give me a hedgehog and I’ll show you why.
158
159* This:
160-->'''Spudgun:''' My wife has gone to the West Indies.
161-->'''Eddie:''' Oh, I didn’t know that.
162-->'''Spudgun:''' Yeah, she went on Tuesday. (''realisation'') Eh, it’s funnier in the pub...
163
164* This exchange:
165-->'''Spudgun:''' What did medieval people do before the telly?
166-->'''Hedgehog:''' [[ComicallyMissingThePoint Well, they probably had their tea, didn’t they?]]
167-->'''Eddie:''' No, no, before telly was invented.
168-->'''Hedgehog:''' Oh, they had cockfights!
169-->'''Spudgun:''' [[ComicallyMissingThePoint No wonder they all got the plague]].
170[[/folder]]
171
172[[folder: Season Two]]
173!!Digger
174* Richie and Eddie`s dating agency videos sum up their respective characters perfectly:
175-->'''Eddie:''' ''(lifts hat)'' Hello, girls! Eddie Hitler here! Come and get it! ''(gets on the chair and vigorously wiggles his ass at the camera, gets down)'' Yep, that ought to do it.
176-->'''Richie:''' ''(very nervous)'' He-l-o-o-o-oh. Hel-l-lo. Ah... eh, lovely weather! I, I can't see you, obviously, but I bet [[RunningGag you've all got smashing blouses on]]. Er... um... my name's Richard, and, ah -- ah-heeh -- I'm looking for a, a friend. Well, a lover really. But failing that a quick wriggle would do! Oh, and by the way, [[BlatantLies I am the Duke of Kiddiminster and extremely rich!]]
177* The dating agency lady Lily reads the kind of women the boys want:
178-->'''Lily:''' You want someone homely, with cooking skills, fun to be with... (''incredulously'') [[InherentlyFunnyWords ...AND A WAZZO PAIR OF JUGS?!]]
179-->'''Eddie:''' That`s right.
180-->'''Richie:''' But obviously, we're flexible.
181-->'''Eddie:''' Ah, but not about the jugs.
182-->'''Richie:''' No, we have to firm on the jugs.
183-->'''Eddie:''' And the jugs have to be very firm!
184* The dating agency finds a match:
185-->'''Lily:''' Lady Natasha Letitia Sarah Jane Wellesley...
186-->'''Richie:''' She sounds n-
187-->'''Lily:''' [[OverlyLongName Obstromsky Ponsonsky Smythe Smythe Smythe Smythe Smythe Oblomov Boblomov Dob]], third viscountess of Moldavia.
188-->'''Eddie:''' ''(slaps the table)'' Sounds great, we'll have half a dozen!
189!!Culture
190
191* The entire premise of the episode: the lads are bored out of their mind because the TV got repossessed. Why? Because Richie took the rent money and took it to Dr. O'Grady's Personal Organ Enhancement Clinic and got scammed. And then when they DID manage to scramble the late rent money for it together, Eddie spent it on magic beans.
192* The lads are doing the crossword and struggling with the clue 'Ironmonger'.
193-->'''Eddie:''' "Ironmonger."
194-->'''Richie:''' How many letters?
195-->'''Eddie:''' Ten.
196-->'''Richie:''' What does it begin with?
197-->'''Eddie:''' Well… "I"…
198-->'''Richie:''' Well, write it down.
199-->'''Eddie:''' No. "Ironmonger" begins with "I". That’s the clue.
200-->'''Richie:''' Well, put it down.
201-->'''Eddie:''' There’s only room for six letters.
202-->'''Richie:''' You’ll have to spell it wrong.
203-->'''Eddie:''' (''writing'') v… z…
204-->'''Richie:''' So, what have you got?
205-->'''Eddie:''' Vysbkx.
206-->'''Richie:''' Good. How does that help us with "two, down"?
207-->'''Eddie:''' Well, "fish", which begins with four letters, now begins with "x".
208-->'''Richie:''' Xylophone fish!
209-->'''Both:''' Nah, it would sink, wouldn’t it?
210-->'''Richie:''' You know, I’m not sure "vysbkx" is right. Why don’t we think of another word that means "ironmonger" but only has six letters.
211-->'''Eddie:''' I got it! Harold!
212-->'''Richie:''' Har-! Harold?!
213-->'''Eddie:''' Yeah! He's an ironmonger! Harold the ironmonger! Remember? [[NoodleIncident We ate his dog.]]
214-->'''Richie:''' Oh right, yeah! We bloody won that bet, didn't we?
215-->'''Eddie:''' No, we didn't. That's why we had to eat his dog.
216-->'''Richie:''' Oh, yes. Okay, "Harold" it is! Hang on, hang on. "Harold" only has five letters.
217-->'''Eddie:''' Well, I could make the "Ha" part really big so that it filled out the first two squares.
218-->'''Richie:''' Well, are there any words dangling the first two squares?
219-->'''Eddie:''' Nope, the only word we’ve got so far is "vysbkx".
220-->'''Richie:''' Well, fill it in, then.
221-->'''Eddie:''' … There’s no room for the "d".
222-->'''Richie:''' What is the point of having a clue if it doesn’t fit the little holes?!
223-->'''Eddie:''' I think I’ll just put "bollocks".
224* When bored, Richie suggests they play a game:
225-->'''Richie:''' How about "Pin the Tail on the Donkey"?\
226'''Eddie:''' We haven't got a donkey.\
227'''Richie:''' Oh. Well, uh, "Pin the Tail on the Chicken"?\
228'''Eddie:''' We haven't got a tail.\
229'''Richie:''' Oh, well, uh, "Pin the Sausage on the Chicken"?\
230'''Eddie:''' We haven't got a chicken.\
231'''Richie:''' ''[Annoyed]'' Well, "Pin the Sausage on the Fridge".\
232'''Eddie:''' Or a pin.\
233'''Richie:''' ''[Even more annoyed]'' ''"Sellotape a Sausage to the Fridge."''\
234'''Eddie:''' We haven't ''got'' a sausage.\
235'''Richie:''' ''[His last fraying nerve]'' '''''"Put. A bit of sellotape. On the fridge."'''''\
236'''Eddie:''' ... Not much of a game, is it?\
237'''Richie:''' What d'you mean? You have to do it blindfolded.\
238'''Eddie:''' But we haven't even ''got a blindfold.''\
239'''Richie:''' ''[His last nerve's snapped]'' Well then, we'll just have to improvise, won't we?! ''[He takes Eddie's glasses off and pokes him in the eye]'' Okay?!
240* When Eddie ''does'' stick a bit of sellotape on the fridge:
241-->'''Eddie:''' … Is that it, then?
242-->'''Richie:''' … Yeah.
243-->'''Eddie:''' Who won?
244-->'''Richie:''' (''chuckles'') Eddie, it matters not who won or lost but how you play the game.
245-->'''Eddie:''' So, I won?
246-->'''Richie:''' Well, I suppose if it’s so important to you, then yes. You won. (''chuckles again'') For heaven’s sake, Eddie, it’s only a game. (''storms off, angrily'') Shit! Shit! Shit! VD! VD! VD! Why do I bloody lose everything?!
247* When Richie is walking around the flat in a state of gloom:
248-->'''Richie:''' What a sad and tragic waste of a young, attractive life…
249* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W_g_ZbGquSM The chess game]].
250* Just before when Richie is reminiscing - a small moment but it sums up Richie and Eddie perfectly:
251-->'''Richie:''' Hey, remember the night those girls turned up?!
252-->'''Eddie:''' … No.
253
254!!Burglary
255* The faces Richie and Eddie make to each other when Eddie walks in through the door are priceless.
256* Eddie drinking a full bottle of bleach and Richie dragging him upstairs by the legs, on a rope, whilst singing his own version of "The Sailor's Hornpipe". See the trivia page.
257* All while Eddie rambles drunkenly:
258-->'''Eddie''': Take it easy, Selena. We've got all night...do your worst, you slanty-eyed fiend!...Hello, Your Majesty. I can see your pants.
259* Eddie suggests surrendering to the burglar downstairs:
260-->'''Richie''': No, no. They might beat us up.
261-->'''Eddie''': What, and cut our bodies into a thousand different pieces?
262-->'''Richie''': And skin us alive!
263-->'''Eddie''': Yes, and then put on our skins!
264-->'''Richie''': And do foul, depraved lovemaking to our still-twitching corpses!
265-->'''Eddie''': Yeah that's it. And eat our livers!
266-->'''Richie''': And drink our blood! And play cricket with our hearts!
267-->'''Eddie''': Using our [[UnusualEuphemism love truncheons]] as wickets!
268-->'''Richie''': And then do weird sort of pagan dancing, flapping our skins about the room and smearing naked girlies' breasts with our throbbing disintegrating brains!
269-->'''Eddie''': ''(pause)'' It's not much of an option really, is it?
270* They hear a loud thump:
271-->'''Richie''': That sounded like the Chesterfield.
272-->'''Eddie''': It wasn't that far away.[[note]]Chesterfield is a type of furniture and a town in England that is over 120 miles from London[[/note]]
273* "One lump or two, Mr. Burglar?"
274* In order to hide the captured burglar from the police, Eddie sellotapes him to the ceiling.
275* "Where did these mouse traps come from!?"
276
277!!Parade
278* Spudgun and Hedgehog aren't sure why they're on the identity parade:
279-->'''Hedgehog:''' A bomb went off 200 miles away and they arrested us.
280-->'''Spudgun:''' I hope we're not IRA.
281-->'''Hedgehog:''' Oh it's a very secretive organisation. We wouldn't know if we were.
282* Richie and Eddie failing miserably at pretending to be Falklands veterans.
283* Eddie gets the money from the pawned leg to the bookies:
284-->'''Eddie:''' 500 quid on the nose on Sad Ken, if you please!
285-->'''Bookie:''' Certainly, sir. Would you like to pay tax?
286-->'''Eddie:''' Of course I wouldn't. ''(to Spud and Hedgehog)'' What a ridiculous question!
287* The commentary on the horse race as the lads go from beaming with joy to glowering in despair:
288-->'''Commentator:''' And they're off! They're nearly all off. Stuck in the stalls is Sad Ken. No, he's off now. Gone in completely the wrong direction, rather slowly. It's very sporting of them to enter a three-legged blind horse here. He's hit a tree and he's down. Back to the leaders- No, back with Sad Ken now! I'm afraid they've had to shoot him. Sad Ken has been shot. And so has the jockey.
289* This quote and the many others of its kind:
290-->'''Eddie:''' Rightey dokey, matey-bloke-flap-old-salty-seadog-amigo-skip-jack-jockstrap-piano-tuner, let's see you balls this one up!
291
292!!Holy
293* When Richie serves Eddie, Spudgun and Hedgehog each a glass of gravy:
294-->'''Spudgun:''' (''referring to Richie'') I thought you said he was being put away before Christmas.
295-->'''Eddie:''' Don’t worry. She won’t last long. She lost a lot of blood this morning and I don’t think she’s got the stamina.
296-->'''Spudgun:''' Shall we have a drink, then?
297-->'''Richie''': Drinks are coming right up! (''serves everyone each a glass of gravy'')
298-->'''Spudgun:''' (''in disgust'') What’s that?!
299-->'''Richie''': Gravy.
300-->'''Spudgun:''' Gravy?!
301-->'''Richie''': Yes. ''Somebody'' drank all the sherry, didn’t they, Eddie?
302-->'''Eddie:''' (''[[AlcoholHic hiccups]]'')
303-->'''Spudgun:''' Well, I’m not drinking that. (''puts the glass down'')
304-->'''Richie''': I beg your pardon? (''returns it to him'')
305-->'''Spudgun:''' I said, I’m not drinking that. (''puts it down again'')
306-->'''Richie''': I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that. (''gives it back'') Drink that up right now, young man. Kust drink it up right now! Or do I have to force it down your throat?! Eh? Eh?
307-->'''Spudgun:''' What do you reckon, Dave?
308-->'''Hedgehog:''' Drink it. He’s a psycho.
309-->'''Spudgun:''' Merry Christmas, everyone.
310-->'''Richie''': Yes! Merry Christmas, one and all!
311-->'''Eddie:''' (''tosses the gravy to one side while the others drink'')
312
313* [[MemeticMutation “BECAUSE IT’S CHRISTMAS!”]]
314* The scene where Richie is trying to get Eddie, Spudgun and Hedgehog to play a game even though they’re clearly sick of him.
315-->'''Spudgun:''' (talking to Eddie and Hedgehog while on the sofa) I see they’ve changed the titles to Emmerdale Farm... It’s just called Series/{{Emmerdale}} now... Doesn’t take so long to read... Gives you a lot more time to do other things... You can pack a lot more story in...
316-->'''Richie:''' (standing up and pretending to be something while not speaking)
317-->'''Eddie:''' We still can’t ''hear'' you.
318-->'''Richie:''' (annoyed) Yes, but I’m not allowed to ''speak''. Otherwise, I’m out of the ''game''.
319-->'''Eddie:''' (hopeful) Well, you’ve just spoken so you must be out of the game, then.
320-->'''Richie:''' (panicking) No! No! No! Alright! Alright! Stop! Stop! New game, okay? Now, look. When I go like this, (doing an action to specify) it means, it’s a film. Alright? So... (does the same action again) It’s a film.
321-->'''Eddie:''' Well, what’s it called?
322-->'''Richie:''' No, you’re supposed to tell ''me''.
323-->'''Eddie:''' What, don’t you ''know''???
324-->'''Hedgehog:''' If you don’t know, we could be here all night.
325-->'''Richie:''' But you have to ''guess''.
326-->'''Spudgun:''' Why don’t you just tell us? It’ll be a lot quicker.
327-->'''Richie:''' Alright, stop. Stop. Shall we start again? Alright, off we go. (does an action symbolising a television)
328-->'''Eddie:''' So, it’s a film.
329-->'''Richie:''' No, it’s a television programme.
330-->'''Hedgehog:''' What, they televised it?
331-->'''Spudgun:''' No, they brought it out on video...
332-->'''Richie:''' No! No! No! (facepalms) It’s not a ''film''!
333-->'''Eddie:''' You just said it ''was'' a film!
334-->'''Richie:''' Alright! I’ll go back to the ''film''!
335-->'''Eddie:''' Look, why don’t you just tell us what it ''is''!?
336-->'''Richie:''' Alright, then! It was Literature/{{The Guns of Navarone}}! Satisfied!?
337-->'''Eddie:''' Right, my turn. (does the action symbolising filming) Film/{{Goldfinger}}. Now, Hedgehog.
338-->'''Hedgehog:''' (does the television action) I’ll have Goldfinger as well.
339-->'''Richie:''' But you can’t have that! Eddie just had that!
340-->'''Eddie:''' (finally has enough and stands up) [[SuddenlyShouting LOOK, LET’S ALL HAVE GOLDFINGER AND THEN PACK IT IN, OKAY!?]] ... Right, Spudgun.
341-->'''Spudgun:''' (does the filming action) Goldfinger.
342-->'''Eddie:''' Right. Now that’s that over with! Okay!? (sits back down on the sofa in annoyance) Right, what’s next?
343-->'''Richie:''' Sardines!
344-->'''Spudgun:''' Great, anything’s better than that bloody turkey.
345* Accidentally recreating the Adoration of the Magi with a box of chocolates, a scary mask and a bottle of aftershave.
346* Richie realises he must be Mary:
347-->'''Richie:''' And I'm a virgin!
348-->'''Eddie:''' I thought you said you weren't.
349-->'''Richie:''' I know, but I am really. I was fibbing to look hunky.
350
351* The landlord bursts in with a festive greeting for the ages:
352-->'''Mr Harrison:''' Merry Christmas and all that bollocks!
353
354!!'S Out
355* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mmCIlAkeS4Y The hobnob fight.]]
356* The [[RunningGag Running Gag]] about Eddie's girlfriends.
357-->'''Richie''' Where's your romance?
358-->'''Eddie''' She works in Sketchleys on Saturdays.
359-->...
360-->'''Richie''' Where's your sense of adventure?
361-->'''Eddie''' Ah now ''she's'' in Chiswick.
362-->...
363-->'''Richie''' Well I've got ''my'' sleeping bag.
364-->'''Eddie''' Where's mine?
365-->'''Richie''' The last I heard she was in Chiswick!
366* The lads are without food and roasting Hob-Nobs over a meagre fire:
367-->'''Richie''' What was that film where they ate each other?
368-->'''Eddie''' ''(thinks)'' Deepthroat, wasn't it?
369-->'''Richie''' Oh yeah. That was great!
370* A fish is spotted but they haven't got a fishing rod:
371-->'''Richie''' Let's use your vest as a net.
372-->'''Eddie''' Would I have to be in it?
373* WOMBLES!
374* Eddie's reaction to when he finds out that him and Richie are going out camping for a week. Bare in mind that where they're staying is an absolute shithole (as Eddie describes early in the episode).
375-->'''Eddie:''' A WEEK!?
376-->'''Richie:''' Ah, yes. I was hoping to break that to you at a more opportune moment.
377-->'''Eddie:''' A BLOODY WEEK!?
378* This masterpiece of innuendo when Richie is fishing:
379-->'''Richie:''' My grandfather was a trawlerman you know.
380-->'''Eddie:''' Oh that's what they called them in those days, was it?
381* Most of the dialogue between Richie and Eddie while they’re both lying down in the tent is just absolutely hilarious:
382-->'''Richie:''' Right, well, here we are, Edward. Are you sure you didn’t sneak a quick peek at my underpants while I was getting into my sleeping bag?
383-->'''Eddie:''' Absolutely, Richie. I give you my word of honour. I didn’t even get the slightest glimpse of your gaudily stained love-blob containers.
384-->'''Richie:''' Alright, good. Well, nighty-night, then.
385--> ...
386-->'''Richie:''' What do you normally do when you go to bed, Eddie?
387-->'''Eddie:''' ... I normally have a bit of a kip.
388-->'''Richie:''' (rolls his eyes) You’re so concise. I meant, what’s your "going to bed" routine?
389-->'''Eddie:''' Oh, well, I normally get into bed and then I have a bit of a kip.
390--> ...
391-->'''Richie:''' I wonder what’s on telly right now... We’re probably missing [[Series/{{Emmerdale}} Emmerdale Farm...]] Matt will have his arm up some cow’s backside by now... Lucky bugger...
392-->'''Eddie:''' We’ll miss the late show, of course... (clicks tongue) That bird in the red specs...
393-->'''Richie:''' Eddie, are you carrying a torch for her?
394-->'''Eddie:''' No, it’s just the way my trousers ruck up.
395-->'''Richie:''' Oh.
396-->...
397-->'''Richie:''' (moves nearer to Eddie) What are you reading, Eddie?
398-->'''Eddie:''' [[TheAlcoholic I don’t know. I’m too drunk to focus.]]
399-->...
400-->'''Richie:''' I’m bored now...
401-->...
402-->'''Richie:''' You ever been hang-gliding, Eddie?
403-->'''Eddie:''' Nope.
404-->'''Richie:''' No, nor me. Well, that’s exhausted that one, then.
405-->...
406-->'''Richie:''' (speaks again but gets interrupted by Eddie who is clearly sick of him rambling on) I can’t think of anything else to talk about-
407-->'''Eddie:''' [[SuddenlyShouting WELL, NIGHT-NIGHT, THEN!]]
408-->'''Richie:''' Yes, I suppose so. Night-night. Sleep tight. (Then, rythmically) ''Hope the bed bugs do not bite. If they do, do a poo, put it in a Cornish stew. Into the ambulance, dring, dring, dring, fish trousers elephant in Peking. Saw a busy bee, diddle-diddle-dee. Daddy’s an accountant, just like me!'' (speaking normally) Night-night. God bless.
409-->...
410-->'''Richie:''' I’m still not asleep, you know. I think it’s this sleeping bag. It’s letting in a draft.
411-->'''Eddie:''' (sarcasticly) [[DeadpanSnarker Oh, my heart bleeds!]]
412-->'''Richie:''' Oh, come on, Eddie. I’m [[SensitiveGuyAndManlyMan more sensitive than you are.]] Do me a favour, my old pal. [[DoubleEntendre Grab a hold of my drawstring and give it a bloody good yank.]]
413-->'''Eddie''' (looks over at Richie in surprise) ... I beg your pardon?
414-->'''Richie:''' Here. (pulls out the actual drawstring)
415-->''' Eddie:''' Oh. (Eddie pulls the drawstring while almost choking Richie in the process)
416-->'''Richie:''' Okay! Fine, good!
417-->...
418-->'''Richie''' Well, night-night, then. ([[HoYay Richie leans over to give Eddie a kiss goodnight but pulls back once he realises what’s he’s doing]]) Oh, no! no! no...
419[[/folder]]
420
421[[folder: Season Three]]
422!!Hole
423* [[https://youtu.be/vyf2B5n_B2s "Don't you DARE call me overweight young man!"]]
424* Eddie is off to [[ItMakesSenseInContext get a drink from the top of the Ferris wheel]]
425-->'''Eddie''': Back in a jiffy!
426-->'''Richie''': 'Back in a jiffy'? Don't be so foul!
427* Eddie is reading the Hammersmith Bugle, ogling the ad for Oddbins before finding something interesting.
428-->'''Eddie''': Hey, Richie! Look at this! Remember that Stork margarine competition we entered?
429-->'''Richie''': ''(excited)'' Yeah?
430-->'''Eddie''': ...We didn't win it.
431-->'''Richie''': What! Well who did?
432-->'''Eddie''': Slip Digby.
433-->'''Richie''': Slip Digby? The organist?
434-->'''Eddie''': Well that's not what they called him in court.
435-->'''Richie''': What was the winning caption?
436-->'''Eddie''': 'I like Stork margarine because: 'I've only got one leg`
437-->''(pause, they nod)''
438-->'''Richie''': Not bad.
439-->'''Eddie''': Clever bastard.
440* They decide to attract a passing aircraft by lighting the alcohol Eddie has in his bottle.
441-->'''Richie''': What's in this?
442-->'''Eddie''': Brandy.
443-->'''Richie''': Good!
444-->'''Eddie''': [[GargleBlaster Meths, Pernod, paint stripper, Mister Sheen, brake fluid and Drambuie]].
445-->'''Richie''': Drambuie?! ''(makes effeminate gestures)'' Oohohohohoooo!
446-->'''Eddie''': Yeah, yeah alright. [[CasanovaWannabe You've got to put something in for the birds, haven't you?]]
447-->'''Richie''': ''(sniffs and recoils)'' How are you alive?
448-->'''Eddie''': ''(taps nose)'' [[CloudCuckoolander I may very well not be]].
449* Eddie and Richie get trapped on a malfunctioning Ferris wheel scheduled for demolition. After praying to God for rescue, a giant hand comes down to carry them to safety, only for Eddie to spoil the moment with a hilarious disclaimer.
450-->'''Eddie''': Hang on, Rich. Although we and indeed the whole BBC respect people's rights to believe in whatever they wish, ''[to the camera]'' because we don't want to get in the shit on this one, ''[back to Richie]'' we don't actually believe in God, do we?
451-->'''Richie''': ''Tch'', no.
452-->'''Both''': [[OhCrap Shit!]] ''[[[PuffOfLogic hand disappears]]]''
453
454!!Terror
455* This montage of {{Double Entendre}}s.
456-->'''Eddie:''' Never mind all that. How's your sausage!?\
457'''Richie:''' Oh you mean my sausage? Not my penis? Well it's a complete disaster. I mean you put it the pan you set fire to it and it gets incinerated.\
458'''Eddie:''' Well maybe we should eat our flakes. (''holds up a pack of corn flakes'')\
459'''Richie:''' Oh right, I'm getting DoubleEntendre disease.\
460'''Eddie:''' Can I drink your juice?\
461'''Richie:''' (''looks disgusted'') Oh right, okay, I'm going mad this this morning.\
462'''Eddie:''' Someone's giving our knocker a damn good banging.\
463'''Richie:''' Right I'll grab my sausage and give it a good seeing to.
464* The boys dress up for Halloween. Richie walks in a devil and Eddie walks in as a banana.
465-->'''Richie:''' Why are you dressed as a banana?
466-->'''Eddie:''' They didn't have any pumpkin outfits left.
467-->'''Richie:''' Then you'll have to make pumpkin noises.
468-->'''Eddie:''' You mean like ''ooOOOOoooOOooo''?
469-->'''Richie:''' Just be mute.
470-->'''Eddie:''' A mute pumpkin or a mute banana?
471* Richie and Eddie go to beat up the kids who knocked on their door earlier. They ''lose''.
472* [[StockYuck Sprouts Mexicain?]] Ingredients: some sprouts, a pinch of chili powder, jar of curry powder, 3 bottles of tabasco sauce and gunpowder to taste.
473
474!!Break
475* Eddie still can't resist teasing Richie about his weight.
476-->'''Richie:''' Do you think Bridlington's topless?
477-->'''Eddie:''' No, I think you should bring your bra.
478* Richie waxes nostalgic about his parents in the war when he gets his Luftwaffe exercise book.
479-->'''Richie:''' This belonged to my dad, you know.
480-->'''Eddie:''' Was he in [[UsefulNotes/WorldWarII the war]]?
481-->'''Richie:''' Very much so. He got hit during the Blitz.
482-->'''Eddie:''' Did he?
483-->'''Richie:''' By an air raid warden. He wouldn't turn his light out. Good old dad. He won the fight. My mum and dad, Eddie. There was a romance. It was a fleeting wartime romance. They were only together... ''(thinks)''
484-->'''Eddie:''' Five minutes?
485-->'''Richie:''' If that. Ships in the night, Eddie. He was pissed. Wandered into the ladies. Off came her winceyettes. The johnnie machine jammed. Bim, bam, bom, whiff of cordite and he was off.
486-->'''Eddie:''' ''(sighs nostalgically)'' Still, it's all a load of bollocks, isn't it?
487* Richie gets embarrassed buying condoms and ends up with piles cream:
488-->'''Richie''': There's been no piles in this house since 1977! You see, Eddie, that's what makes England great.
489-->'''Eddie''': What, not having piles?
490-->'''Richie''': Yes!
491* One of the funniest moments of physical humour has to be the liposuction scene. Basically Richie asks Eddie to give him liposuction for their upcoming holiday using nothing but a vacuum cleaner. And while he's getting liposuction, in true ''Bottom'' fashion, the vacuum sucks in his penis. Just Rik's expressions and the sound effects make the scene.
492-->'''Richie:''' Eddie! Put it on blow! Put it on blow!
493-->'''Eddie:''' You dirty dirty bastard.
494-->'''Richie:''' Quick Eddie, hurry! I've nearly reached the bag!
495* Richie saws both of Eddie`s legs off at the knee with a chainsaw. Eddie stitches them on again. Backwards.
496* Eddie goes to the pub with their holiday [[strike:money]] [[ItMakesSenseInContext monkey]] and come back a little worse for wear:
497-->'''Richie''': You've been drinking, haven't you.
498-->'''Eddie''': How DARE you! How dare you accuse me of drinking-ninge? Me, your oldest pal and matey! Old skip! Old bus fart tram ticket, one-for-the-road bag of scratchings! ''(knocks over the TV)'' Oops-a-daisy. We'll keep a welcome in the valet parking Mr David "childish" Jensen! ME, drinking-ninge? Why, I'll tear you limb from limb! ''(flails about, tears down the curtains and falls flat on his face on the sofa)''.
499-->'''Richie''': ''(pause)'' No but you have, haven't you?
500-->'''Eddie''': ''(looks up)'' Yeah.
501
502!!Dough
503* Eddie has been forging money of very limited authenticity.
504-->'''Hedgehog''': ''(holding a five pound note)'' What are those?
505-->'''Eddie''': Those are the Queen's jugs.
506-->'''Richie''': Eddie! A: The Queen doesn't have jugs, she's royalty. And B: If she did, she certainly wouldn't get them out on the back of a fiver. Certainly not, she'd save them up for the fifty!
507* The lads are overcome with nerves at the pub trying out their money.
508-->'''Eddie''': I'll have a pint of mild, in a half-pint glass.
509* They try to buy their way out of trouble by entering the pub quiz. At 200 pounds each.
510-->'''Eddie''': That's a bit steep.
511-->'''Richie''': Steep? It's effing vertical!
512
513!!Finger
514* Eddie's mind is, as usual, somewhere else when Richie presents a set of car keys.
515-->'''Richie:''' [[AreYouPonderingWhatImPondering Are you thinking what I'm thinking?]]
516-->'''Eddie:''' I'm thinking about that weather girl, Susan Charlton, stripped naked and covered in Marmite, bouncing up and down on a bungee rope. What are you thinking?
517-->'''Richie:''' Er, something else actually.
518-->'''Eddie:''' Not getting that black-haired Gladiator's legs wrapped round your face again?
519-->'''Richie:''' No, no, no. Haven't thought about that for weeks. I really must pop upstairs later and have a good think about that.
520* Eddie and Richie have stolen Cannonball Taffy O'Jones's car.
521-->'''Richie''': How do you actually drive a car?
522-->'''Eddie''': Well, you wait until no-one's looking then you grab the wires from under the dashboard and jam them together until the engine fires up. Then, you drink another can of Special Brew, aim it at the post office and put a brick on the accelerator!
523* Eddie's disguise as Mrs O'Jones includes fake breasts on backwards and, inexplicably, a fake moustache.
524* Eddie is determined to put it away, even by his standards.
525-->'''Eddie:''' I'll have a large Scotch.
526-->'''Waiter:''' A double?
527-->'''Eddie:''' No, half a pint.
528
529!!Carnival
530* Richie and Eddie do a bit of "shopping" at the annual Hammersmith riot.
531-->'''Eddie''' At least we got the duck!
532-->'''Richie''' ...the duck?
533-->'''Eddie''' Yeah! It's made of plastic.
534-->'''Richie''' Eddie, what in the name of Greek buggery is the use of a plastic duck?
535-->'''Eddie''' It floats in the bath. ''(waves the duck in front of Richie)'' Hello!
536-->'''Richie''' ''(gestures at the duck)'' Why?
537-->'''Eddie''' [[ComicallyMissingThePoint It's hollow.]]
538* Richie and Eddie watching the Prime Minister's sex tape (which they inadvertently stole from the back of a news van) in "[[{{Recap/BottomCarnival}} Carnival]]", and the hilariously long time it takes them to work out that it ''is'' a sex tape.[[note]] The sequence was likely inspired by the ever rising number of "three in a bed" sex scandals rocking the Conservative government at the time.[[/note]]
539-->''(Richie and Eddie are watching the Prime Minister undress)''\
540'''Richie:''' He's obviously very hot.\
541'''Eddie:''' ... he's obviously got a very hot todger as well. Hang on - who's she?\
542'''Richie:''' ''(squints)'' That must be his mummy.\
543'''Eddie:''' Aha.\
544'''Richie:''' Yes, yes, yes, it's obviously the Prime Minister's bedtime, yes.\
545'''Eddie:''' ''(nods)'' Ah, I see.\
546'''Richie:''' ''(leans forward, confused)'' ... now that is ''very'' unusual behaviour, isn't it.\
547'''Eddie:''' Well... maybe she's just chaining him to the bed... in case he falls off.\
548'''Richie:''' ... yes, yes, yes, that must be it, yes. And look, look, she's very hot too, look, she's... taken her dress off... ''(he and Eddie laugh sweetly)'' Aww, ''look!'' She's brought him a little present! What is that? A sort of... model of a Moon rocket, isn't it?\
549''(both of them suddenly jump back in alarm)''\
550'''Richie, Eddie:''' WHOAAA!!\
551'''Richie:''' ''(horrified)'' What did she stick it in ''there'' for!?\
552'''Eddie:''' ... maybe she's trying to take his temperature!\
553'''Richie:''' ''(nodding)'' Yes, that must be it, yes, yes, he's obviously ill, yes...\
554'''Eddie:''' Well! That'll be why he's so hot!\
555'''Richie:''' ... yes! Yes! Of course! ''(Eddie laughs, relieved)'' Look at the poor little mite! He's... groaning, and thrashing around the place!\
556'''Eddie:''' He's obviously got a very high fever! And that's why she's... sucking the poison out...\
557''(they both lean closer to the television in bewilderment)''\
558'''Richie:''' ... I wish I had a mum like that...\
559''(later, after a second woman has arrived in the film)''\
560'''Eddie:''' Hang on, who's she?\
561'''Richie:''' That must be his, his auntie... she's ''very'' friendly, isn't she?\
562'''Eddie:''' ''(points at screen)'' I think they must be sisters.\
563'''Richie:''' Yes, that'll be it, yes- ''no, don't sit there!''\
564'''Eddie:''' ''(shocked)'' She can't have seen him!\
565'''Richie:''' He'll ''suffocate!''\
566'''Eddie:''' ''(disgusted)'' I can't think that that's hygienic!
567* When the Prime Minister appears on the screen, Richie salutes and Eddie [[FlippingTheBird raises two fingers]].
568* After discovering what's on the tape, Richie and Eddie decide to blackmail the Prime Minister with it. Richie picks up the phone, demands to speak to the PM, and announces openly ''it's because he wants to blackmail him''. He's then asked for his name... which he happily provides, only to then suddenly hang up as he realises what he's done Eddie then takes over, while Richie urges him to use a fake name. The entire process repeats, except Eddie gives the name of 'Richard Richard'
569* They make a call to blackmail the Prime Minister and their flat is surrounded by the SAS within seconds.
570* Treating it more like a hostage situation, Richie and Eddie start demanding food. They start with asking for sandwiches, then canapes, then when Eddie demands at least half a Curly-Wurly and a packet of Love Hearts the SAS respond with a burst of gunfire.
571[[/folder]]
572
573[[folder: Outtakes]]
574!! Fluff
575* "Holy": When Richie tries to serve Spudgun an overcooked potato, it smashes his plate and rolls off the table.
576-->'''Rik:''' [[AgonyOfTheFeet Ow]]!\
577''Spudgun:''' I've changed... (Steve briefly breaks character as he laughs) I've changed my mind.
578* "'s Out"
579-->'''Richie:''' I think there's something outside.\
580'''Eddie:''' Well there's bound to be something outside. You can't expect the universe and its entire contents to be constained well fuck bastard bollocky bums!\
581'''Rik:''' He couldn't do it in rehearsals either.
582* Rik and Ade talk to the audience before filming.
583-->'''Rik:''' Why did the pervert cross the road? Because he couldn't get his knob out of the chicken!
584-->'''Ade:''' I'd just like to say: fucking cunty bollocks.
585[[/folder]]
586
587[[folder: Live Shows]]
588* Oh look Knackers...... Eddie then proceeds to kick Richie's knackers in various humorous ways... - ''Hooligans Island''.
589* Anytime in the stage shows that Rik and Ade break out of character.
590-->'''Richie:''' Oh Eddie! Think what we're missing, like a script!
591-->'''Eddie:''' Well, we're not missing a script; it's just that you can't fucking remember it!
592-->'''Richie:''' Oh Eddie!
593-->'''Eddie:''' And every time you can't remember it you go, Oh Eddie!
594-->'''Richie:''' Oh Eddie, fuckin'... A-ha!
595-->'''Eddie:''' He probably hasn't got the right one.
596-->'''Richie:''' Oh fuck!
597* In ''Hooligan's Island'' when the Japanese UsefulNotes/WW2 bunker is accidentally revealed in Act 1 rather than Act 2. Rik cracks up, and takes roughly about 5 minutes to recompose himself to a point where they can actually continue with the show.
598%%** The "sad and tragic news" scene in the first show is very much similar.
599* When a Frenchman appears on the beach in ''Live 3'', Eddie says he left a 8ft long kayak on the beach. Richie thinks he meant the Frenchman left a turd there.
600* There's also [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZcW8vd060u0#t=1m11s this]] scene from the second live show.
601* Eddie getting shat on by an albatross. Ade breaks character just to get his point across about how irritating the scene, and continues in a sarcastic tone. He does try to distract the audience with how rubbish the albatross looks so he can skip the scene. It doesn't work thanks to Rik.
602-->'''Eddie''': He's not in very good form is he? Perhaps we should skip the albatross this evening.
603-->'''Richie''': No....Go and stand on your special mark.
604* Richie being revealed to be wearing a pair of Y-fronts made from a pair of washing up gloves with the thumb stuck up his rear end.
605-->'''Eddie:''' What the fuck happened to you? It looks like you've fallen into one of Ronnie Corbett's condoms and [[DoubleEntendre a raspberry flavoured French tickler to boot.]]
606* The ending to the last live show [[GainaxEnding where the meaning of everything is apparently pants and the two try to get the audience to take off their pants.]]
607* From the second show:
608-->'''Richie:''' Eddie get downstairs immediately. I've got the sprouts.
609-->'''Eddie:''' Go and see a doctor.
610-->'''Richie:''' Eddie come and help me unload my vegetables.
611-->'''Eddie:''' I shall do no such thing you foul pervert.
612* Eddie's brilliant ActorAllusion during the jail scene:
613--> Are you finished? It's just that I'm beginning to understand why Creator/StephenFry fucked off. [[note]] Earlier that year Rik Mayall and Stephen Fry had done the play "Cell Mates" together, where Fry had suddenly left in a fit of depression.[[/note]]
614* In the fifth live show, after Richie fishes his hand through one of Eddie’s trouser pockets:
615-->'''Eddie:''' Yes, I’m beginning to understand ''why'' Stephen Fry left that play…
616* "Alright me skip jap flip flap slippy dip lipstick oh look Mrs Jones Bomber Harris tweed cat in hat it might be raining Achtung baby psycho ward 10 minutes please gentlemen it's the lavvy express thunderpants are go!"
617* Eddie enters a Special K [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QIrT8-4FcS0#t=243s competition]].
618* This from the second live show:
619-->'''Richie:''' So here I am in the witness box spikey spikey huge dangling knob, everything's great.
620-->'''Eddie:''' Gonna get a stand in for that are you? Normally they'd just have a body double but in your case it'd probably have to be a body treble wouldn't it? (Richie bows to Eddie in worship)
621* From the third live show:
622-->'''Richie:''' (after being hit on the knob with a poison dart) Eddie read that last bit again.
623-->'''Eddie:''' "Nnnd."
624-->'''Richie:''' No, read more than that.
625-->'''Eddie:''' Oh, "Snnnd."
626-->'''Richie:''' Give it here, I'll do it myself. "The. Dart. Is. Poi. Son. Ed." Oh fate! Oh nemesis!
627-->'''Eddie:''' Oh fuck!
628* When the audience participate in the second live show:
629-->'''Audience:''' HAVE A WANK!!
630-->'''Richie:''' Welcome to sophisticated Oxford!
631* Hooligans Island also has a great response to that particular audience callback.
632-->'''Audience:''' HAVE A WANK!!
633-->'''Eddie:''' We had a wank in the interval. That's what the interval is for. And I bet you had one as well, didn't you? Cos you look like a wanker.
634
635* "Now you listen to me, buster! You're just a door! I'm Rik-''[Thrust!]''-[[PrecisionFStrike Fucking]]-''[Thrust!]''-Mayall! CLOSE!"
636* The duo's parrot getting attacked by seagulls and suffering a heart attack in ''An Arse Oddity''. The pair try to revive him and hilarity ensues.
637* This goes for the series too but anytime Eddie and Richie get into a fight its hilarious esp the fight with the saw and the fire extinguisher in one of the stage shows...
638* When Eddie mentions knowing a Pat O'Cake, Rik and Ade are barely able to compose themselves throughout the rest of the joke.
639-->'''Richie:''' Pat O'Cake?
640-->'''Eddie:''' ''[trying not to laugh] [to audience]'' Shut up...
641-->'''Richie:''' Pat O'Cake?
642-->'''Eddie:''' ''[nods]'' Pat O'Cake!
643-->'''Richie:''' ''[laughing]'' Baker's man?
644-->'''Eddie:''' That's the one!
645-->''[audience laughter]''
646-->'''Eddie:''' Oh I love that gag...
647-->'''Richie:''' What a sad, lonely life you must lead..
648-->'''Eddie:''' I'm afraid it is!
649* When Rik flubs yet another line during the second live stage show and the audience laughs...
650-->'''Richie:''' Fuck off home! I don't go down to where you work and laugh at you! Bastards!
651* When Rik slips up and accidentally punches Ade in the balls.
652-->'''Eddie:''' *high pitched* It's all right, Richie, I've got three fucking kids already.
653-->'''Richie:''' Hey, tell you what, how about we cut the rest of this scene and go to the pub?
654-->'''Eddie:''' No no... it's ''my'' turn. Stand there you cunt.
655* At the end of the first live show:
656-->'''Eddie:''' And, 5, 4, 3, 7, 12, 26... Fuck, I wish I could count!
657* In the first live show, we get an absolutely gut bustingly funny moment where the two completely break character after Eddie does his infamous "Don't you ever yearn for change??" monologue which ends up receiving thunderous applause. It's about 7 solid minutes of non-scripted hilarity.
658-->'''Richie:''' STOP FUCKING CLAPPING!!!! *Mocks the applauding audience* Especially you! You should fucking jump!
659-->'''Eddie:''' That's no way to talk to my mother...! Sorry mum!
660[[/folder]]

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