Line #53 Funny/Bones


1	[[foldercontrol]]
2	[[folder:Season 1]]
3	* The RapidFireComedy in “The Man in the Wall” - which happens to keep slamming bulls-eyes despite the rapid fire.
4	** Bones yelling about the anthropology of dancing in a nightclub, played completely straight. Since she's comparing the largely Black club to tribal dancing, it's also an example of CrossesTheLineTwice.
5	** Adding to it is a nearby SassyBlackWoman who ''gets it'' and is supportive of her:
6	-->''No, fool. She’s using Descartes’ philosophy to say she’s '''down''' with the music.''
7	** ...Only for another woman to only hear the "fool" part. In the ensuing BarBrawl, the DJ is smashed through a wall, revealing the titular Man... and a stash of crystal meth.
8	-->'''Angela''': (licks finger) ''...[[OhCrap Uh oh]].''
9	** IntoxicationEnsues.
10	-->'''Furst''': ''A cloud of meth covered the dance floor. I think they’ve inhaled quite a lot.''\
11	'''Booth''': (laughs) ''Are you two '''high?''' ''\
12	'''Angela''': (twitching) ''Only by accident, so it doesn’t count.''
13	** Booth wrings information out of a rapper by agreeing to put him in jail for a month and charge him with murder if he helps the investigation. Bones' complete inability to understand the idea of "street cred" makes it that much funnier.
14	-->'''Bones''': ''What, am I in Backwards World?''
15	* Booth has an... adverse reaction to the Valley Fever vaccine in "The Man in the Fallout Shelter."
16	-->'''Booth''': What are those little tiny lights dancing on the ceiling?
17	-->'''Goodman''': For the third time, those are minute firings of neurons on your optic nerve due to your reaction to the antifungal cocktail.
18	-->''[Thirty seemingly lucid seconds later]''
19	-->'''Booth''': What are those little lights on the ceiling again?
20	** In another scene, he's hopping around in Angela's elf hat.
21	-->'''Booth''': Bones! It's Christmas Eve Day! Both an Eve and a Day. ''It's a Christmas miracle!''
22	* "The Woman In The Car":
23	** Brennan's appearance on ''Wake Up, DC!''
24	-->'''Host:''' How do you juggle twin careers as a bestselling author and a crime-fighting scientist?\
25	'''Brennan:''' I do one, then the other.\
26	'''Host:''' [[VisibleSilence ...]]
27	** Later, an agent believes she recognizes Brennan from the show.
28	-->'''Pickering:''' Didn't I see you on television this morning, Dr. Brennan?\
29	'''Brennan:''' How could I ''possibly'' know what you saw on television this morning?\
30	'''Pickering:''' ...Yeah, it was definitely her.
31	** As for what she's doing there: She's interviewing the staff on behalf of the state department, for a review. When it's Brennan's turn, she picks up the phone, calls... ''someone'', and has them speak to to Pickering. After hanging up, Pickering reveals that the review has been suspended. And that her notes are to be destroyed.
32	* In "The Man on the Fairway", Hodgins and Zack send a pig through a wood chipper, outside the Jeffersonian, to the delight of several employees. Among those NOT delighted? Doctor Goodman, their boss.
33	* Booth and Brennan belting out [[Music/{{Foreigner}} "Hot Blooded"]] in "The Two Bodies in the Lab."
34	* "The Man with the Bone" is all about pirates, with lots of anecdotes from pirate fan Hodgins. They find a bone. They find out it's a pirate bone. They go on a treasure hunt. They think they might actually find some treasure! Cue tables turning as the ''Jeffersonian'' gets a little pirate raid on their exhibits - that is, someone stealing pirate bones ''from them''. '''Twice.''' '''''The same set.'''''
35	-->'''Cullen:''' Okay, [[LetMeGetThisStraight Let Me See If I Get This Straight.]] The pirate bones you recovered came from the Jeffersonian to start with...\
36	'''Brennan:''' Correct.\
37	'''Goodman:''' 300-year-old bones stolen from our own pirate exhibit.\
38	'''Cullen:''' ...and then recovered by one of your own people...\
39	'''Booth:''' Doctor Hodgins.\
40	'''Cullen:''' ...who brought them back to the Jeffersonian... where they were stolen ''again?''\
41	'''Booth:''' Re-stolen... sir.\
42	'''Cullen:''' You got a security problem, Doctor Goodman.\
43	'''Goodman: And when I find out who did this, you may have a murder problem.'''
44	** Earlier in the same episode, Hodgins and Booth proceeding to [[{{Squee}} geek out]] when they find out that the bone they found belonged to an actual pirate, much to Brennan’s confusion.
45	-->'''Angela:''' It’s a guy thing, sweetie.
46	* "The Man in the Morgue"
47	** Bones is arguing that Voodoo is no different than any other religion. Booth, a devoted Catholic, naturally disagrees. The resulting exchange has to be seen to be believed.
48	--> '''Booth''': Voodoo. Who's going to believe that stuff?\
49	'''Bones''': It's a religion. No crazier than... well what are you?\
50	'''Booth''': Catholic.\
51	'''Bones''': They believe in the same saints you do, in prayer. What they call spells you call miracles. They have priests.\
52	'''Booth''': We don't make zombies.\
53	'''Bones''': Jesus rose from the dead after three days...\
54	'''Booth''': Jesus is not a zombie!
55	[[/folder]]
56
57
58	[[folder:Season 2]]
59	* In "Mother and Child in the Bay", a mannequin is set up in the lab. In order to make an estimate about the strength of the attacker, the staff takes turns stabbing it as though in a rage. The ensuing montage is CringeComedy gold.
60	* Hodgins's reaction after Brennan pulls a piece of bumper sticker out of his leg while they are BuriedAlive in "Aliens in a Spaceship":
61	--> '''Hodgins''': Somebody ran me down with a car!
62	--> '''Brennan''': We knew that already.
63	--> '''Hodgins''': Yeah, [[SkewedPriorities but now we've proved it.]] And I find I'm ''really'' annoyed.
64	* "Judas on a Pole" is a pretty tense episode, but it does feature a hilarious exchange between Zack and Bones, as they try to figure out through a doctor's gestures what rest of the Committee thinks of Zack's thesis.
65	* While most of "The Man in the Cell" was creepy and unsettling, there was a funny moment while Hodgins and Zack are trying to figure out the poison that hit Cam. Booth, understandably frustrated and angry due to the events of the episode, talks to the two and then tries to leave, but Zack calls him back explaining they'd made Epps out to be smarter than he is, tells Booth to do a Boolean search, starts to explain and, based on Booth's increasingly menacing stare, decides to just do it:
66	-->'''Booth''': I am walking outta here. You try and stop me again and I will shoot both of you.\
67	''Zack finishes his search finding the likely location''\
68	'''Zack''': ''(with a conflicted look on his face)'' Mmmmmm uhhh...\
69	'''Hodgins''': What.\
70	'''Zack''': ''(still looking incredibly conflicted)'' I really need him to come back.\
71	'''Hodgins''': ''(Sighs)'' BOOTH. ''(To Zack)'' Whatever you got better be worth dying for.\
72	''(Zack looks unconvinced)''
73	* When Booth arrests Max in "Stargazer in a Puddle", Max just can't bring himself to surrender without a fight and asks Booth to shoot him in the leg. Booth instead disarms himself and the two start punching each other. Booth finally knocks Max to the ground, only for Max to ground Booth with a punch to the groin.
74	-->'''Booth:''' Wait, there's no time outs in an arrest!
75	* When Booth first gets the call to investigate "The Girl in the Gator", he's drowned out by an ice cream truck, much to his mounting annoyance. Not helping is the ice cream man's refusal to let Booth's phone call get in the way of business. Booth eventually loses patience altogether and solves the issue... with his gun.
76	-->''"You shot my clown!"''
77	[[/folder]]
78
79	[[folder:Season 3]]
80	* From "Soccer Mom in the Mini-Van":
81	-->'''Angela:''' Hi, I'm Angela Montenegro. I do facial reconstructions ''(nods toward Hodgins)'' and him.
82	* "Death In The Saddle"
83	** Brennan, while chasing a male suspect, tries a little cop-talk;
84	-->'''Bones:''' Stop or I'll kick you in the testicles!
85	** The same chase concludes:
86	--> '''Suspect:''' What did you hit me with?
87	--> '''[[DeadpanSnarker Booth]]:''' A building.
88	* This exchange from "The Knight on The Grid":
89	--> '''Archbishop Wallace''': Somebody ATE Doug?
90	--> '''Booth''': Only part of him.
91	* Any of the interactions between "Grumpy Auntie Bones," as Booth calls her, and the namesake of "The Baby in the Bough." Yes, even the ones that [[Heartwarming/{{Bones}} establish how good Bones is with infants.]]
92	* "The Santa In The Slush":
93	** Caroline offers to do Booth a favor... if he kisses Bones under the mistletoe, as per her "puckish side that will not be denied." Bones calls it "blackmail," but in the end, they go through with it, and then some. This is tempered somewhat when Booth awkwardly walks away:
94	-->"Thanks for the... gum..."
95	** Pretty much everything to do with the victim, a mall santa legally named Kristopher Kringle. But the high point is when Bones and Booth visit his apartment, above a toy store--the fridge is filled with milk and cookies and the wardrobe consists of ''nothing but'' Santa clothes.
96	-->'''Booth:''' This guy was committed!\
97	'''Bones:''' He should have been.
98	** The final capture of the perp. For one, it all boils down to [[ItMakesSenseInContext which of the victim's coworkers sat in bird's nest soup]], requiring Brennan and Booth to sniff each of their bottoms individually. (For this, Booth declares it "Officially the Worst Christmas Ever.") And when they ''do'' find him and PerpWalk him out, it's to all of his coworkers singing "Santa Claus Is Coming To Town."
99	* "The Pain in the Heart":
100	** Brennan looks for excuses to avoid attending Booth's funeral:
101	--> '''Brennan''': I have remains to identify. He could have a family.\
102	'''Angela''': He's 500 years old. They've probably adjusted by now.
103	** When Brennan realizes the funeral is staged a rather hilarious sequence follows: Brennan barges in on him in his own home, while he's taking a bath wearing a beer helmet, smoking a cigar and reading ''Franchise/GreenLantern,'' [[SkewedPriorities to yell at him for not informing her that he wasn't really dead.]]
104	-->'''Brennan:''' Why are you wearing a hat that dispenses beer?\
105	'''Booth:''' Hot tub plus cold beer equals warm beer. Hat equals solution!
106	[[/folder]]
107
108	[[folder:Season 4]]
109	* In "The Skull in the Sculpture", when they need to find evidence of a murder or the body (in the sculpture) is taken away.
110	-->'''Caroline''': Any ideas?
111	-->'''Daisy''': (dead serious) I will think about it until my ''head'' explodes!
112	-->'''Caroline''': (appraisingly) This one's a keeper.
113	-->''Daisy begins visibly doing just that''
114	* In "The Princess and the Pear", Booth's reaction to painkillers, best described as MushroomSamba, reaches a new high. First, he claims that the ''furniture'' feels friendly. Then, he more or less confesses to agent Perrota that his feelings about Brennan are not strictly professional.
115	* "The Bones That Foam" is a high point for the entire series:
116	** The discovery of the body: A couple who decided to bungee-jump in celebration of tying the knot [[BloodyHilarious discover the body mid-jump...]] [[CrossesTheLineTwice only to continue bouncing even as they scream in terror.]]
117	** Booth's interrogation scene: He takes the suspect for a test drive in one of the high-performance sportscars he's selling... then guns the engine whenever the salesman is reluctant to answer him. It works.
118	** Brennan's interrogation scene. After taking "emotion reading" lessons from Sweets, Brennan tries to interrogate a suspect. Cue her "tough cop" act, Booth watching from behind the one-way glass, horrified, Sweets' constant repetition of "I'm ''so'' sorry." and one very scared suspect.
119	** The scene at the strip club. Booth goes to Strawberry Lust in order to talk to her, she starts to dance for him, sitting him on a chair so that she can dance on his lap... and Bones pays Strawberry $50 so that she can see it happening.
120	** Hodgins and Mr Nigel Murray are trying to examine the bones before they melt, but a C Ring magnifier sparks and sets the body on fire. After the alarms have been turned off, Brennan and Cam demand answers:
121	---> '''Brennan''': How did it start?\
122	''Hodgins and Vincent instantly point to the corpse''\
123	'''Cam''': Oh, I see, so we're going with the old "blame the corpse" defense?
124	* In the episode "The Science in the Physicist", Hodgins and Vincent try to prove the victim was frozen and then shattered by dropping a turkey off a balcony after freezing it in liquid nitrogen. It instead bounces off the floor and whacks Angela in the face.
125	* "Mayhem on a Cross":
126	** Gordon Gordon Wyatt's history as "Noddy Comet", a [[GlamRock glam rocker]] who, in his own words, "wore spandex, pancake makeup, and played a guitar shaped like a spaceship." Do note that he's played by Creator/StephenFry.
127	** During Murderbreath's interrogation, Booth quietly suggests that Brennan "get angry" when the former doesn't answer her. And she [[LargeHam does]]:
128	--->I will perjure myself if I have to, because you. Make. Me. Sick... punk! ...I’ll put your ass on death row and laugh at your execution. I will testify that your knife was used to make these gouges. I will also prove that whatever implements we find—any props, knives, cleavers, all of your stage ware—I will show that it was used to mutilate his remains. Which they probably were... There are no rock concerts in prison.
129	** Booth, Brennan and Dr. Gordon go to an abandoned slaughterhouse to bring in a death metal band that have been using it for rehearsals. When Booth shows the guitarist his badge, the guy just spits at it and hisses. Booth, with a face that just screams "screw this", empties his gun into their speaker to shut them up.
130	-->'''Gordon:''' Yes, now if you recall, it was shooting at inanimate objects that had brought you to me for therapy in the first place.
131	* "The Double Death of the Dearly Departed." The entire staff's flailing efforts to conceal the murder investigation are a sight to behold:
132	** Booth comes up with the euphemism "translated" for murdered early on, but since only Brennan was around at the time, they have to explain it to everyone else, rendering it almost meaningless.
133	** Booth and Brennan sneak the body out very badly during Hodgins' eulogy, causing him to freak out and eventually smash a glass to avoid anyone looking out of the window and seeing the body heist.
134	** Angela stops the victim's mother from looking in the empty casket by claiming the undertaker had done a shoddy job and the victim [[CrossesTheLineTwice now looked like Hitler.]]
135	** Any of undertaker Franklin Tung's scenes. The man is a nervous wreck who has been through a lot, and Sweets, not knowing about the murder, notices this and comforts him. Sweets then has an OhCrap moment when he learns about the murder:
136	---> '''Sweets''': Okay, I may have told him that murder's nothing to worry about.
137	** When Cam, Hodgins and Sweets bring the body back, they forget the victim's glasses, forcing Cam to quickly put her sunglasses on the body before someone comes to see him.
138	** The victim's mother, who had poisoned him, states after being caught "what's the worst that could happen?" Five days later Booth, Brennan and the victim's brother are staring at the mother's grave. [[DidntThinkThisThrough As it turns out she poisoned the victim with her heart medication and then didn't have enough for herself]].
139	* "The Critic in the Cabernet":
140	** The WordAssociationTest:
141	-->'''Booth''': Hunger.\
142	'''Brennan''': Sex.\
143	'''Booth''': Whoa!\
144	'''Brennan''': Horse.\
145	'''Booth''': Cowboy.\
146	'''Brennan''': Child.\
147	'''Booth''': Baby.\
148	'''Brennan''': Booth.\
149	'''Booth''': What, what do you think, I'm a baby?\
150	'''Brennan''': You're a father.\
151	'''Booth''': Oh. Mother.\
152	'''Brennan''': Birth.\
153	'''Booth''': Happy.\
154	'''Brennan''': Sperm.\
155	'''Booth''': Sperm? Isn't this getting a little weird?\
156	'''Sweets''': No, keep going.\
157	'''Booth''': Ok. Egg!\
158	'''Brennan''': [[MyBiologicalClockIsTicking I want a baby.]]\
159	'''Booth''': Whoa!\
160	'''Brennan''': Horse.
161	** Booth's brain tumor is foreshadowed by him hallucinating [[WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy Stewie Griffith]] in various locations, including the interrogation room.
162	-->You, sir, are a boob!
163	* "The End in The Beginning" is full of hilarious exchanges and oneliners:
164	-->'''Vincent''': "I wouldn't do well in jail. I'm lovely."\
165
166	-->'''Booth''': Did anybody touch it? Zack raises his hand; Cut to Caroline looking at the gun.
167	-->'''Caroline''': Anybody touch it?
168	-->'''Booth''': Zack did. Cut to both Booth and Brennan looking at it.
169	-->'''Booth''': .38, right? Matches the murder weapon.
170	-->'''Brennan''': Zack touched it.\
171
172	--> '''Vincent''': "Legally, if it's with my stuff, can I just claim it as my own and like, toss it into a volcano?"
173	** Angela claims that she has no artistic skills or sensibilities whatsoever. Mind you, in canon this is her single-greatest asset.
174	[[/folder]]
175
176	[[folder:Season 5]]
177	* "The Bond in the Boot": The VictimOfTheWeek was scavenged by feral cats. As the team processes the scene, three moggies sit and stare at Booth while licking their lips.
178	* "The Tough Man in the Tender Chicken":
179	** The discovery of the body: A troupe of Jeffersonian-administered girl scouts known as the Woodchucks literally arrived at Hodgins' doorstep at the crack of dawn to deliver him a dead body they fished out of the river they were camping next to. Becomes RefugeInAudacity in that [[NightmareFetishist said girl scouts were excited about finding it and bringing it in]] because it meant a chance to meet their idol, Dr. Brennan, and that they processed the entire crime scene ''themselves''. Brennan and Saroyan are left in awe of it all.
180	-->'''Hodgins:''' Woodchucks are very industrious marmots.
181	** Brennan even admits that they did amazing work, [[MoodWhiplash then ruins the moment]] by admonishing them for disturbing a crime scene instead of leaving things to the professionals, causing them all to boo her and [[UngratefulBastard consider her to be ungrateful of their help]].
182	--->'''Saroyan:''' [[WhatTheHellHero You couldn't have just let them have that one? Let it go by?]]\
183	'''Brennan:''' [[ComicallyMissingThePoint Then they'd never learn]].
184	* The whole FanService saga in "The Goop on the Girl." Was it really necessary to wheel Booth around in nothing but his funky socks and boxers on a lab cart? No. But it was hilarious.
185	-->'''Angela:''' Uh, are we doing experiments on Booth? Because if so, I'd love to help.\
186	'''Booth:''' Go ahead, [[NakedPeopleAreFunny make fun of the naked guy]], knock yourself out.\
187	'''[...]'''\
188	'''Hodgins:''' Where's your chest hair?\
189	'''Booth:''' I'm highly evolved.
190	* "The X in the File"
191	** Brennan was using an early model MRI to examine a corpse (which resembled a traditional Grey alien due to how the body decomposed), when the dead body suddenly jerked up (due to electromagnetic fields from the MRI yanking on steel ball bearings embedded in its skull), prompting Brennan to scream in shock. Booth immediately pulls a gun, which gets yanked out of his hand by the MRI's magnetic field. Brennan then shuts off the MRI, causing both corpse and gun to fall.
192	-->'''Booth''': You know I won’t say anything about the scream if you don’t say anything about the gun.\
193	'''Brennan''': Those terms are satisfactory.
194	** At the end of the episode, Booth accuses Bones of thinking the aliens are just like her. She plays along, pretending to be an alien scout.
195	* "The Devil in the Details":
196	** Hodgins is conducting a test to see if nunchucks are the murder weapon.He nails himself in the face and spends the rest of the scene dazed and confused, hanging onto the edge of the table until he passes out. In the same scene, Arastoo walks up, picks up the nunchucks, and demonstrates them ''effortlessly''. Complete with kung-fu music.
197	-->'''Hodgins:''' What are you, some kind of Persian ninja?
198	** Bones is talking to one of the doctors at the asylum and finds that they have quite a bit in common, including a disdain for the less-than-empirical nature of psychology. Just as the doctor is about to give her a tour, Bones learns that [[spoiler:the doctor is actually a patient there, who is under the delusion that he is a psychologist.]] The look on her face is priceless.
199	* When trying to figure out cause of death in "The Predator in the Pool" Brennan has an idea and shoves [[OnlySaneMan Clark's]] face underwater with no warning. [[FunnyBackgroundEvent His arms flail wildly while she calmly explains the scenario]], and when he finally surfaces, he simply towels himself off, seemingly adapted to the chaos of the lab.
200	* The innuendo-laden massage scene from "The Witch in the Wardrobe":
201	-->'''Angela:''' Oh, thank you God!\
202	'''Hodgins:''' "God" is a little formal, "Hodgins" is fine.
203	* The entire B-plot of "The Beginning in The End." Angela's dad loses his car in a bet and has Hodgins and Sweets steal it back for him. Highlights include Sweets meowing like a cat to distract guard dogs, Hodgins trying to avoid angry bikers, and Angela's Dad himself sneaking up on Hodgins.
204	[[/folder]]
205
206	[[folder:Season 6]]
207	* "The Mastodon in the Room":
208	** The Jeffersonian team, brought back together after being apart, go back to their old lab and discover that [[spoiler:the room has been converted into an Ice Age exhibition, with a huge, stuffed mammoth in the center where the forensic platform was]].
209	-->'''Caroline:''' Totally ''not'' my problem.
210	** They spend the episode discussing who the lynchpin of the group is, only for Brennan to realise it's actually Caroline, who had managed to get everyone to return. She then decides she wants to hug Caroline, who backs away nervously and asks a returning Booth to not leave them alone together.
211	* "The Couple in the Cave":
212	** Hannah joins Booth in D.C., prompting a lot of questions from the team to Brennan about her and Booth's relationship, and leading to Clark, despite his usual policy to stay out of workplace drama, cracking and weighing in:
213	--->'''Brennan:''' Why would I be jealous?\
214	'''Clark:''' [[NotSoStoic Because it's obvious you and Agent Booth were attracted to each other!]] [[EveryoneCanSeeIt I mean, a blind man could see that!]] I just couldn't understand why you two didn't just rip each others' clothes off, I mean just get all butt-naked and- ''[face turns to utter bug-eyed horror]'' My God, oh my God, oh my God, I'm sorry, it just popped out.
215	** In order to prove a suspect's alibi based on her having severe allergies, the lab presents her with sample flowers present at the crime scene. One of them sends her into a violent sneezing fit. Then [[ButtMonkey Clark does too]], not having known that he is also allergic to the flower.
216	* In "The Maggots in the Meathead", every time Bones starts talking about how the "Guidos" are acting from purely anthropological viewpoint.
217	* "The Shallow In The Deep"
218	** Booth and Brennan, needing to get a form signed, walk in on Sweets and Daisy in a compromising position. Their reactions to one another are the best.
219	-->'''Booth:''' ''(casually)'' Can you sign this?
220	-->'''Sweets:''' Are you serious!?
221	** And later, when Daisy tries to explain to Brennan what happened:
222	-->'''Daisy:''' I don't want you to think that Lance and I are dating again, because we're not. That was purely accidental intercourse.
223	-->'''Brennan:''' You had intercourse accidentally? What were you trying to do, Miss Wick?
224	-->'''Daisy:''' I was returning a book.
225	-->'''Brennan:''' And your pants fell off?
226	* "The Babe in the Bar:" Nigel's inability to hide that he already knows Angela & Hodgins are having a baby.
227	-->"I beg of you not to look at me directly. Just say what you have to say".
228	* Hodgins’ hose drenching Cam, Booth and Brennan in body fluid saturated water in "The Body in the Bag".
229	* Clark performing for his girlfriend in The Bikini in the Soup. He opens the bedroom door wearing a white suit, matching hat and sunglasses, then rips the stuff off piece by piece til he’s only wearing red boxers. He’s always so professionalism minded at work, so seeing him getting naughty in private is very funny.
230	* In "The Blackout in the Blizzard," Sweets turns the tables when he catches Bones and Booth in a compromising position:
231	-->Comparing body parts, what else do people do in snowstorms?
232	* At the end of "The Feet on the Beach", Sweets throwing a bowl at Doctor Filmore's head, expecting his arm to resume function after [[spoiler:Brennan apologized for disregarding his field of research]]. It doesn't exactly go as planned.
233	* In 'The Truth in the Myth' Vincent Nigel-Murray has been going around apologizing to everyone for his actions while he was drinking as part of his AA program. This included relatively minor infractions like borrowing nail clippers and iguana skeletons but he'd also been going around telling his friends that he had sexual relations with Cam, Angela and Bones. Cam and Angela let him off rather lightly but Bones laughs in his face and casually destroys his self esteem by telling him that his friends must be extremely gullible for believing him because she's way out of his league.
234	* In "The Pinocchio In The Planter," Jack talking about having planned Wendell’s murder “in great detail” while Wendell was dating Angela. He sets up the week’s experiment to test how much force the victim was shot with and there are four fake heads he’s adorned with pictures of himself, Angela, Cam and Wendell. The first head he shoots is the Wendell one and it’s blown to bits. Hodgins is clearly enjoying the whole thing.
235	* "The Hole in the Heart"
236	** A new agent being, mentored by Booth, tells Sweets that he should stay behind her while they're searching for Broadsky. He replies "That's okay; I don't measure my manhood by the same standard you do...ThatCameOutWrong."
237	** Not long after that, Booth and his mentee notice a camera sending feed to Broadsky and Booth orders them both to take cover. As Sweets obeys, he claims that he hates it and wishes Broadsky had just started shooting; he then lampshades [[ThatCameOutWrong how wrong that sounds]].
238	** Hodgins and Mr. Nigel-Murray's "T-Rex vs. Man" arm-wresting match.
239	* "The Change in the Game":
240	** One of the bowlers makes a crude remark about Brennan in front of [[PapaWolf Max]], then assuming that the reason Max is pissed because ''he's'' interested in Brennan.
241	** And in the same episode, the other bowlers suggesting that Booth and Brennan shouldn't bother arresting the killer, because the victim [[AssholeVictim was such a dick]] that he basically did them all a favor.
242	** To say nothing of the discovery of the body, in one of the pinsetters.
243	-->'''I'LL BEHAVE! I'LL BEHAVE! I'LL BEHAVE!'''
244	[[/folder]]
245
246	[[folder:Season 7]]
247	* The scene in "The Hot Dog in the Competition" where Booth and Sweets are talking to the husband of the victim. They believe she's a prostitute but she's actually a competitive eater. [[DoubleEntendre Double entendres]] abound.
248	* Angela's increasingly frustrated attempts to assemble a toy in "The Prince In the Plastic". Hodgins comes in and tries to help.
249	-->'''Angela:''' Don't even look at me. Don't even look over here.
250	* Clark succumbing to NotSoAboveItAll tendencies in 'The Male in the Mail' and gleefully taking up Hodgins' selection of medieval weaponry to discover the murder weapon. He looks particularly fond of the scimitar.
251	* "The Prisoner in the Pipe":
252	** The body is discovered... in the toilet of a man who is trying to potty train his daughter. They're both scarred for life.
253	** Then even more parents are scarred when Brennan tours the hospital where she and Booth want to give birth... with a blacklight.
254	* Bones is a new mother in "The Bump in the Road", because she could get the daycare director fired, she (likely rudely) requested a photo of Christine every half hour. Just after receiving one during a crime scene investigation with a headless corpse:
255	--> '''Bones''': Uh oh.
256	--> '''Booth''': What, something worse than her head getting cut off?
257	--> '''Bones''': I sent the photo [of the corpse] to the daycare director.
258	--> '''Cam''': Uh, day one - not a good first impression.
259	--> '''Bones''': How...is there an unsend button?
260	* “The Don’t in the Do:”
261	** One of the suspects is being interrogated and has a fresh out of law school lawyer representing him. When Booth accuses him of scalping 25 different people, the guy defends himself saying he gets the hair from his uncle’s mortuary and supplied the victim of the week with the hair to use as extensions for women’s hair. His lawyer, realizing that her extensions are from dead people, immediately pulls out her extensions, calls her client an animal and runs out of the interrogation room to go shave her head, quitting her job then and there.
262	** The entire scene in the lingerie store. Sweets knows a little too much about women's undergarments, while Booth doesn't know Bones' current bra size. So, the store owner tries to help:
263	--> '''Store Owner:''' (''gesturing'') Are we talking apples or melons?
264	--> '''Sweets:''' Mangos.
265	--> '''Booth:''' (''angrily'') You looking at her fruit?
266	--> '''Sweets:''' I... am a doctor. Just accept the help.
267	* "The Suit on the Set"
268	** In "The Feet on the Beach," Dr. Filmore's arm paralysis was noted to be rooted in feeling utterly humiliated professionally by Dr. Brennan. When he reappears for this episode he notes, upon hearing about her professional and personal developments, that he sometimes thinks she shows up to demonstrate how meaningless his life is. She obliviously notes that he's quite capable of doing that without her. [[BrickJoke The scene ends with his arm going limp again, with him just staring at it.]]
269	** Anything to do with with Cam's old Z-movie, ''Invasion of the Mother Suckers''--especially the one scene that plays, in which Cam gives an "Are we done yet?" eye movement while the film is still running, and the wood used to stab her heart is clearly under her arm.
270	** When they question the victim's assistant, there's a [[FunnyBackgroundEvent poster]] on the wall for an airplane movie called ''[[Film/AirForceOne Air Force Juan]]''.
271	[[/folder]]
272
273	[[folder:Season 8]]
274	* Finn Abernathy gets some great moments in on "The Partners in the Divorce:"
275	** When they recover a photo of the victim's wife having an affair--with his assistant Margot:
276	--->'''Abernathy:''' From my point of view, [[GirlOnGirlIsHot she ain't got nothin' to be ashamed of.]]\
277	'''Saroyan:''' Except for cheating on her husband.\
278	'''Abernathy:''' Right. Yes, of course.
279	** His first reconstruction of the victim's death, which he swears to be the only one that makes sense: the victim fell head-over heels down a long flight of stairs, straight off a cliff, and ultimately came to a stop feet-first.
280	--->'''Bones:''' Congratulations, Mr. Abernathy, you have successfully reconstructed the death of Wile E. Coyote.
281	* "The Gunk In The Garage": Bones' PuppyDogEyes when Booth objects to her buying an 800-dollar stroller.
282	-->'''Booth''': Oh, you were never able to do this look before the baby. What did the baby do to you?
283	* Oliver Wells' introduction, in "The Fact in the Fiction." He comes in the diner looking disheveled, with dirt and blood on his clothes and a cloth bag on his shoulder. Brennan hasn't been reading Cam's emails about new interns so she doesn't know who he is and Booth doesn't trust him either. Booth orders him to get on the ground and push the bag toward them. Wells has to comply and as he pushes the bag, the plastic wrapped skull of the week's victim tumbles out, grossing out everyone in the diner. Wells is finally able to say "Hi, I'm your new intern..."
284	* "The Doom in the Gloom":
285	** Hodgins spends most of the episode beside himself with glee over the weapons tests he has to conduct to gather enough evidence for a warrant.
286	*** As the victim has suffered leg injuries consistent with being hit by a cannonball, Hodgins smelts two cannonballs and performs the initial test in front of Cam and Angela. There is a {{Beat}} between when the fuse appears to burn down and when the cannon actually fires; as Hodgins offers to set up a second test, Cam and Angela privately admit that they thought it was awesome, but will never tell him as much. As soon as they are gone, Hodgins begins stoking the cannon again...
287	*** When it emerges that the victim was incinerated by a fire-loaded booby trap attached to the door of her shed, Hodgins rigs up a similar trap, explaining to an impatient Booth that they need proof that the trap works as they believe. However, rather than rigging the trap with fire, he rigs it with gelatin. While Booth is bent over looking into the "barrel" of the trap, Cam unwittingly opens the door. Hodgins trying (and failing) not to laugh at the incensed, gelatin-covered Booth is the icing on the cake.
288	** Sweets ''finally'' finds an apartment with two fellow psychologist roommates and moves out of Brennan and Booth's house. Not only are his roommates named [[Series/ThreesCompany Janet and Chrissy]], but they mistake Brennan and Booth for Sweets' parents.
289	--->'''Janet:''' ''[to Sweets]'' Your dad is hot.
290	* While investigating the murder of a stripper in "The Party in the Pants," Hodgins breaks into a (work-safe version of a) strip tease in Angela's office. As Angela cheers him on, Cam walks in, gets a look at the situation, and immediately turns around and leaves.
291	[[/folder]]
292
293	[[folder:Season 9]]
294	* The VictimOfTheWeek in "The Lady on the List" had a bucket list compiled. Angela decided to put together a bucket list for the most recent intern [[InsufferableGenius Dr. Wells]].
295	--> '''Number 1''': Don't be a douche.
296	--> '''Number 2''': Seriously, don't be a douche.
297	--> '''Number 3''': Work and play well with others so [you're] not perceived as a douche.
298	* "The Woman in White:"
299	** Hodgins has a betting pool going on about whether or not the Brennan-Booth wedding will actually happen, given the case that falls into their lap days before it's supposed to take place. He asks Cam if she's interested in placing a bet.
300	--> '''Cam:''' No. ''(beat)'' Doctor Hodgins? Twenty bucks says it's cancelled by one tomorrow. Oh god I hate myself.
301	** Before officiating the wedding, Aldo asks Bones if her words will be from the heart, as were Booth's:
302	-->'''Bones:''' No, I will be speaking from my mouth.
303	** Booth and Max light a candle at the church in honour of Brennan's mother. The church then burns down, with the fire starting near the candles. Max blames Booth and Booth blames Brennan's mother, even though she died in 1993.
304	** Brennan gets Oliver to do Angela's work so she'll be freed up to help with wedding prep, noting that either Oliver is capable of doing the work or he isn't and she dismisses him, which is no big deal as nobody likes him. Oliver's head shoots up upon hearing that.
305	* A suspect in "The Repo Man in the Septic Tank" flees into a kitchen and manages to get the jump on Booth, disarming him of his gun. What follows is a duel of {{Improvised Weapon}}s--first kitchen knives, then frying pans. Bones also throws a head of lettuce at the suspect, missing, and tosses Booth a colander to use as a shield when only the suspect has a knife. Finally, after Booth has knocked out the suspect with a frying pan:
306	-->'''Bones:''' Nothing more romantic than a man who can handle himself in the kitchen.
307	* "The Carrot in the Kudzu" gives us Hodgins' reaction to the eventual publishing of Dr. Edison's stinker of a book, ''Murder Made Me Do It''. FlatWhat does not begin to cover it.
308	* "The Nazi on the Honeymoon":
309	** Whenever someone in Argentina meets Booth, they immediately recognize him as Agent Andy Lister from Bones' books.
310	** Also Jack and Angela babysitting Christine and going between wanting another kid and being exhausted. The kids also end up in the lab much to Cam’s dismay.
311	* "The Dude in the Dam":
312	** Angela's face when she learns that Hodgins is planning to play host for a South American larva that is growing in his neck.
313	** Likewise, there's Wendell finding himself caught up in Hodgins treating it almost like the birth of his child.
314	* "The Mystery in the Meat": The team is investigating the murder of a food scientist and Hodgins and Oliver are sampling snacks he was working on. Among them is something tube-packaged called "Hot Bacon", which tastes just like fried bacon. They sample it heartily until they look through the victim's notes and learn that Hot Bacon is not a condiment, but [[spoiler:a flavored sexual lubricant]]. Cue the tongue-wiping.
315	[[/folder]]
316
317	[[folder:Season 10]]
318	* When Daisy is in labor in "The Puzzler in the Pit," and finally turns on the doula who has been encouraging her to go all new-agey in giving birth against the advice of her friends.
319	-->'''Daisy:''' I don't want darkness! I don't want candles! I want shiny machines that go "beep"! I WANT AN EPIDURAL!
320	* "The Putter in the Rough" is solved towards the end of the episode, when we find out that the culprit killed her husband's best friend and business partner because he was threatening her life. That is to say, her marriage life; she's such a [[TheDitz bad airhead]] that she fully confesses to the murder acting like she was within her boundaries to do so because her husband was being taken away from her more and more over mini-golf, before figuring it must be a clear case of self-defense and asking for community service punishment when she's told it's not. Brennan and Booth are put into StunnedSilence at realizing how ''dumb'' this woman was to commit homicide for such a petty reason and not even realize it was an actual crime.
321	[[/folder]]
322
323	[[folder:Season 11]]
324	* “The Doom in the Boom”:
325	** Booth getting nailed in the face by a [[ItMakesSenseInContext gelatin bullet]].
326	** Also Hodgins’ glee at firing a cannon in another part of the episode.
327	* "The Last Shot at a Second Chance":
328	** Booth and Bones choosing how they're going to have sex by referring to page numbers in one of her novels. Eventually they settle on "page 214", which apparently [[NoodleImplements requires masks, a drum and "preparing the deck".]]
329	* In 'The Strike in the Chord' Cam, Hodgins, Brennan and Aubrey are discussing the experiment about Pavlovian responses in the lab rats that ate the victim of the week, and Cam notes that lab rats, said to be able to do anything in response to a bell, have very small brains. Cue a phone beeping, causing all 4 to check their phones and, upon realising, sheepishly return them to their pockets.
330	* In "The Movie in the Making", there's several chuckle-worthy scenes.
331	** Bones derides Booth's "gut", stating that the only time a gut should be part of an investigation is when it contains poison. Aristoo then gets SidetrackedByTheAnalogy, to her obvious annoyance.
332	** Booth claims that "Sometimes our [him and Bones] debates are so healthy that I end up sleeping on the couch."
333	** Bones is a ''terrible'' Parent's Day guest. Her video makes a kid throw up (he's later seen saying he doesn't want to have her job) and she derides the intelligence of the teacher of the class.
334	[[/folder]]
335
336	[[folder:Season 12]]
337	* "The New Tricks in the Old Dogs:"
338	** The victim is the elderly resident of a nursing home. When his 84 year old girlfriend is informed of his death, she immediately accuses another resident and starts whaling on him with a cane. The attack is so hilariously ineffective that Booth doesn't even bother interfering.
339	** Brennan decides to stop pressuring Booth to get a vasectomy. He says “snipers don’t fire blanks” and Brennan mentions she’ll stay on the pill and “we’ll bag your sniper”.
340	** Hodgins dressing up a dummy like his grandfather so he can take out unresolved grandpa issues while beating it. (Grandpa Hodgins was apparently a jerk.)
341	** Apparently, Angela and Jack once had wheelchair sex and a wheel popped off the chair. Jack tries not to directly say what happened but Brennan immediately knows they were getting it on.
342	* One of the b-plots of "The Tutor in the Tussle": Hodgins accidentally infests Cam's office with spiders and spends the rest of the episode hiding from her.
343	-->Cam:(breathing heavily) I know Hodgins is your husband and your soul mate...
344	-->Angela: No, we'll kill him together.
345	* In "The Scare in the Score", the episode opens with a woman running screaming through the woods. She is talking on the phone screaming that "He's still after me!" making viewer believe a killer is after her. Cut to a wide shot and it shows she is only being chased by a raccoon and is calling her boyfriend or husband.
346	* Hodgins’ final scene in the series finale. Brennan says she doesn’t want to be in charge while Cam is gone and tells Hodgins he’s in charge. Hodgins rolls his wheelchair around the room yelling ecstatically.
347	-->Hodgins: Wait a minute? I'm King of the Lab? Oh, oh, oh! I am king of the lab!
348	-->Cam: Just until I come back! Don't get too cozy!
349	-->Hodgins: [very excited] Yeah, right! You try to pry that scepter from my hands! And take away my crown. Oh, hey, hey, I need a crown! I need a crown! King of the lab! Yeah!
350	[[/folder]]
351
352	[[folder:Unsorted]]
353	* Any entry from Sweets' CharacterBlog, he's quite the little DeadpanSnarker when given the opportunity. Special mention goes to the ones from "The Finder", which were written in a haze of sickness.
354	--> "I just want it to be noted that Agent Booth and Doctor Brennan totally love the hell out of each other and they totally want to do it together. And the only reason they haven't is because of me. Because they think it's too funny to torment me. Well, HA FRICKING HA to the both of you! Punks. Wow, I think I may have taken too much cough medicine... or maybe not enough."
355	** On a related note is Sweets' reactions to everything he learns in "The Parts in the Sum of the Whole" specifically his sheer exasperation and frustration at Booth and Brennan's obliviousness.
356	[[/folder]]

Context Funny / Bones