Line #12 Funny/BoardJames


1	* In the review for ''Dragonstrike'', the narrator on the VHS tells James to check if anyone's watching, and [[Series/{{Teletubbies}} Po]] passes by the window.
2	** From the same episode, when James says he's going to turn off the TV [[TheTapeKnewYouWouldSayThat and the announcer tells him not to]].
3	---> '''James:''' - (visibly freaked out) Oh shit!
4	** Before that, there's the part where he lists all of the different [[TheProblemWithPenIsland "craps"]]. [[note]] [[DontExplainTheJoke The way the letter "T" is stylized makes it look like a "C".]] [[/note]]
5	* From the ''Deadly Danger Dungeon'' episode, when James is showing off some of the other games he made:
6	--> '''James:''' ... What in the unholy mother of fuck? What was I thinking to make a board game of ''VideoGame/PitFighter''?
7	** Mike trying to get through the titular game James created and reacting at how unbelievably hard it is for a board game.
8	* The ''Mr. Bucket'' review. Mr. Bucket is cornering James with no escape, and Motherfucker Mike comes in the room. You'd think he'll [[BigDamnHeroes end up saving James]], but then [[SubvertedTrope this happens:]]
9	-->'''James''': Get away from me! Suck HIS balls!
10	-->'''Mr. Bucket:''' (turns to Mike) BALLS! B-B-B-B-B-B-BALLS! BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS BALLS!
11	-->'''Mike:''' AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!
12	** From the same episode:
13	--->'''James:''' It doesn't make any sense, I turned you off!
14	--->'''Mr. Bucket:''' No, you turned me on!
15	** Before any of that, the absolutely ''appalled'' looks on the faces of James and Mike when they watch [[AccidentalInnuendo an old commercial for Mr. Bucket]].
16	** Mr. Bucket, er, joining James in bed. Made even funnier by the fact that it looks like [[DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything James has a]] [[RagingStiffie massive boner]].
17	* This moment in the "Tornado Rex" review, when James asks Bootsy (who's going to crank the Tornado Rex contraption to start the game) if he can count to three:
18	--> '''Bootsy''': Count 'em: One, ''(crank)'' two, ''(crank; points the loaded Tornado Rex piece at James's face)'' fuck you!
19	* From the ''Donut Disaster'' video.
20	-->'''Bad-Luck Bootsy''': I like my coffee how I like my women. sips coffee WITH MY DICK IN IT! pelvic thrust BOINK BOINK BOINK BOINK.
21	* Pretty much the entire ''Doggie Doo'' video, but here are a few gems:
22	-->'''Mike:''' So, how do we play this game?\
23	'''James:''' Who cares? It's a dog that shits!\
24	'''Mike:''' That's what I was thinking!\
25	''(James takes out a can of brown Play-Doh)''\
26	'''James (in dog-like voice):''' Woof-woof! I want some Play-Doh! Gimme some Play-Doh!\
27	'''Mike:''' Doggie needs some food so he can go poopies! Come on, doggie, let's go poopies!
28	** But it turns out Play-Doh only makes the dog not work, so after getting another dog and feeding it properly (with the stuff that comes with the game):
29	-->'''Mike:''' Doggie thinks she needs to go poo- ''([[{{Corpsing}} cracks up]])'' Doggie gonna do little doo-doo, or doggie gonna do big shit? ''DOGGIE GONNA DO A'' '''''BIG SHIT!'''''\
30	''(The dog shits)''
31	** And right after they react to it:
32	-->'''Mike:''' Ohhh, it's ''nuclear shit!''\
33	'''James:''' What kind of toxic waste does this dog shit?\
34	'''Mike:''' Nuclear dookie!\
35	'''James:''' Nuclear dookie? It's ''nukie dookie!''\
36	'''Mike ''(singsong)'':''' Nukie dookie, nukie dookie, nukie dookie!
37	** And James summing it up at the end, more or less in his usual manner of reviewing:
38	-->'''James:''' Now, seriously. It's a ''game...'' where a dog ''shits!''
39	* Bootsy's out-of-character "Fuck you, you motherfucking piece of shit!" during the "Shark Attack" review. The shocked reactions on Mike and James are priceless.
40	** "No, no, he ''fucked a fish''" and the reaction shots afterwards.
41	*** Specifically the cut to a shocked, illustrated fish (on the game board).
42	** James flipping out at the end while Bootsy gets comfy with the shark... Which soon proceeds to [[GroinAttack bite his dick off]]...
43	* Although the much of the ''Dream Phone'' episode is pure NightmareFuel, James and Mike's [[FantasticallyIndifferent reaction]] to [[spoiler: [[ButtMonkey Bad-Luck]] [[TheFriendNobodyLikes Bootsy's corpse]]]] [[MoodWhiplash is]] [[BlackComedy hilarious]].
44	-->'''James:''' [[spoiler: [[UnusuallyUninterestingSight Oh well, he's dead]].]]
45	-->'''Mike:''' [[spoiler: Well, [[RunningGag he's dead]]]]
46	* The ''Omega Virus'' episode: the further into the game James goes, the more hardcore it starts becoming as James fires off TechnoBabble while playing the game as fast as possible, until it is revealed that there are three Jameses playing the game. A fourth James steps in and proceeds to kill the others (who were really robot clones) with a toy laser gun.
47	* James questioning the Ouija board. He gets no response whatever, culminating in:
48	--> '''James:''' DOES THIS CARDBOARD AND PLASTIC WALMART-BOUGHT PARKER BROTHERS PIECE OF SHIT DO ANYTHING AT ALL?!
49	** [[spoiler:Mike appearing as Elvis and killing Mr. Bucket and the Dream Phone]] is equal parts funny and [[SugarWiki/MomentOfAwesome awesome]]. Hell, the idea of [[spoiler:Elvis Mike]] itself is enough to fit here.
50	* During the ''Wacky Blasters'' episode, Bootsy suggests an idea, which James and Mike naturally refuse to entertain until Bootsy asks them to trust him. He reaches off-camera...and brings over a table. Both James and Mike admit how playing games on a table actually does make sense. [[spoiler:Meanwhile, Bootsy has made himself a fort with the table.]]
51	* In the ''Full House & Urkel Games'' episode, James gets irrationally angry at Bootsy when the Urkel game forces him to hike his pants up three times in a row, loudly cursing at him to hike his pants nearly up to his neck while Mike laughs and Bootsy groans in agony.
52	-->'''James:''' Hike up your pants you cunt face fucking shithead fuckface! Asshole! '''''BITCH FUCKING SHITHEAD FUCKFACE!'''''
53	* Episode 25 is a CrossOver between Board James and the WebVideo/AngryVideoGameNerd reviewing board games based on video games. The episode ultimately culminates into [[spoiler:Board James donning glasses, discarding his cap, and becoming who he was ultimately meant to be: the Angry Video Game Nerd.]]
54	** Individual nuggets of hilarity abound, such as when James is reviewing the board game version of ''VideoGame/PacMan''.
55	--> '''James''': The game isn't perfect, for sure, it's just kind of... y'know, I guess you could say it's...\
56	'''The Nerd''': (''appears on the game's box'') I think the proper term you're searching for is "It's a piece of shit!" Who would wanna play a board game of ''VideoGame/PacMan'' when you can play the video game instead?!\
57	'''James''': You mean like that ''ass''anine Atari 2600 version where they couldn't even get Pac-Man into a circle shape?!
58	** Then when playing the board game of ''Franchise/SuperMarioBros''.
59	--> '''James''': ... it sucks.\
60	'''The Nerd''': How much does it suck?\
61	'''James''': It ''fucking'' sucks!!\
62	'''The Nerd''': Say it like it is!\
63	'''James''': ''It's a shitload of fuck!!!''\
64	'''The Nerd''': (''nods in approval'') That's a good one.
65	** Then when playing ''VideoGame/StreetFighterII''.
66	--> '''James''': Oh no... they didn't... they took ''Street Fighter'' literally! It's just a bunch of fucking streets! GET IT?! ''STREET FIGHTER''?! THEY FIGHT ON THE STREETS! ''ON THE STREETS!!''\
67	'''The Nerd''': You're right. It's ass. I'm gonna go play the video game.
68	** Wondering if he put the game together right, he checks the instructions, which say to "Discard waste". He then throws the whole game in the trash.
69	** Tetris: The board game, especially when he's humming "Korobeiniki" and (trying to) move the pieces like the video game.
70	* "13 Dead End Drive". Two words.
71	--> '''James''': "'''''FUCK TECHNOLOGY!!!'''''"
72	** For context's sake, James points out how the phone lines are cut due to a heavy storm, preventing the others from calling the cops. [[TechnologyMarchesOn They whip out their cellphones]].
73	** Bootsy [[spoiler:accidentally hanging himself.]]
74	* "NIGHTMARE and Beyond":
75	-->'''James''': Say yes to [[Platform/{{VCR}} VHS!]]
76	** Jame's and Bootsy's little exchange after the Nightmare game is over.
77	--> ''James'': Relax. [[BlatantLies It's all just fun and games]].
78	-->'''Bootsy, [[spoiler:hanging from a noose, covered in bruises]]''': [[FlatJoy ...Yay.]]
79	** '''"WILL YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT CANDYLAND?!"'''
80	*** Mike, after being asked if he wants to play Candyland.
81	-->'''Mike''': spits up blood Fine.
82	** James outdoes himself in the [[{{Pun}} stupendously bad puns department]].
83	-->'''James''': [...] Looks like you're a'''head''' of the game! snickers
84	-->'''Bootsy''': REALLY [[PrecisionFStrike FUCKING]] FUNNY, ASSHOLE!
85	** Every time James explains the rules to a game in this episode, it cuts out any dark, serious tension and plays out like he's just a common board game reviewer.

Context Funny / BoardJames