Line #5 Funny/BatmanMaskOfThePhantasm


1	* Alfred gets a few in his ServileSnarker role.
2	** Upon hearing Arthur Reeves refer to Batman as "insane," he remarks to Bruce, "What rot, sir! Why, you're the very model of sanity. [[HypocriticalHumor Oh, by the way, I've pressed your tights and put away your exploding gas balls.]]" "Thank you, Alfred."
3	*** The topper is Bruce's tone of voice. He knows damn well Alfred's tweaking him, but he's not going to acknowledge it.
4	** And then there's this:
5	--->'''Batman:''' You think you know everything about me, don't you?\
6	'''Alfred:''' I diapered your bottom. I [[PrecisionFStrike bloody]] well ought to... '''sir'''.
7
8	* The Joker is terrifying in this movie, but he does get some of the best lines. Hell, even his DynamicEntry is amusing (complete with a [[WackySoundEffect SPROING! cartoon sound]]):
9	-->'''Joker:''' ''[after shooting up the old singing automatons of Gotham World's Fair with a sub-machine gun]'' I ''hate'' that song! ''[he sees Salvatore Valestra]'' GASP! Can it be?! Old Sally "The Wheezer" Valestra! Welcome, ''paisan''! It's been a dog's age!\
10	'''Sal:''' ''[visibly nervous and sweating]'' Hello, Joker. Didn't mean to drop by unannounced.\
11	'''Joker:''' Oh, Salvatore, why so formal?! ''[[GratuitousSpanish ¡Mi casa nostra es su casa nostra!]]'' ''[shoves him]'' So what's an old timer like you want with a two-timer like me?\
12	'''Sal:''' Business. I've got--\
13	'''Joker:''' ''[runs over, ecstatic]'' Ooh, business! Sounds like fun! ''[shoves Sal into one of the rides]'' Come! We'll repair to more comfortable environs. Now, hold onto your hat and watch those ''valuables''. ''[slams the safety bar into Sal's crotch!]'' It's going to be a bumpy ride. ''[cue maniacal laughter]''
14	** He gets one more when they arrive at his "humble abode".
15	--->'''Joker:''' ''[sees his tiny robotic dog at his feet]'' Don't mind my home security system. Down, Rusty! ''[field-goal kicks the dog off screen]'' Can't be too careful with all those weirdos around!
16	** "[[SuddenlyShouting DON'T TOUCH ME, OLD MAN!!]] [[MoodSwinger I don't know where you've been.]]"
17	** He gets a third DynamicEntry after Arthur hangs up with the police after they fail to capture Batman:
18	--->'''Joker:''' ''[standing in the doorway, framed by lightning flashes]'' Tsk, tsk. To think our tax money goes to pay those ''jerks''.
19	** Joker's line the second Arthur's done on the phone with Andrea:
20	--->'''Joker:''' Well, ain't that a ''coin-ki-dink''? We're talking about ''the old man'' and the ''spaaaaawn of his loins just happens to call''. [[OhCrap Makes you want to laugh, doesn't it, Artie?]]
21	** Right as Andrea calls, Joker silently instructs Arthur to not let Andrea know he’s there. The way Joker does it, it comes across less like trying to not tip her off and more like he’s trying to play a harmless practical joke on her.
22	** Joker talking on the phone to Andrea and treating her like an old lover who never calls or writes but he still has feelings for, not realising it is actually Batman on the other end of the line in Andrea's home, is unintentionally funny because it's exactly how Joker talks to Batman 99% of the time anyway, and many fans of the movie don't even realise that Joker thinks he's talking to Andrea in the first place.
23	** Earlier, when the Phantasm confronts Sal in his home, only to see how the Joker's killed him and strapped a camera to his lap (in addition to oodles of high explosives)...
24	--->'''Joker:''' Whoops! Guess the joke is on me; you're not Batman after all. Looks like there's a new face in Gotham and soon his name will be aaaaall over town... to say nothing of his legs, and feet, ''and spleen, '''and head'''''... ''[KRAK-OOM!]''
25	** Then there's the Joker's lack of surprise when the Phantasm arrives, when he's "hitting" on Hazel. And then when the fight commences, he gains the upper hand with a stick of bologna.
26	--->'''Joker:''' ''[annoyed]'' Ain't it always the way? You get in the mood, and ''company'' shows up.
27	*** Before that, Joker not so subtly implies jokes about having sex with Hazel and ends up tearing off a piece of her ass by accident as he does.
28	*** And even weirder and more hilarious: He may have been joking about sleeping with Hazel, being the Joker and whatnot. But he's alone when he starts to hint at it, thus not "performing" for anyone, and he ''has'' been living there by his lonesome for an undisclosed amount of time with no clown sidekick to keep him company, so [[FridgeHorror he might not actually be joking about it.]]
29	** A small moment during the epic final battle between Batman and the Joker; Batman chases Joker into a miniature model city. Batman is looking for Joker, when you see in the background one of the skyscrapers move. A cut later shows that the Joker is literally wearing the model skyscraper on his head. Then the model city activates, the lights go on and a model car strikes Batman's foot; during this brief moment, the Joker very abruptly clubs Batman over the head with the skyscraper. The timing and sheer absurdity of this short sequence is both darkly hilarious and surprisingly suspenseful in a way that only the Joker can manage.
30	* Along with the infamous bologna moment where between the sausage and a knife the Joker picks the former as an improvised moment, the Phantasm/Joker fight also includes Joker being on the business end of a GroinAttack and later trying to attack with an egg beater.
31	* The way Andrea talks to her dead mother’s grave and makes no acknowledgement on how awkward it is for other people is pretty funny, especially when she writes off Bruce apologizing for interrupting with “It’s alright, we’re done... Mom doesn’t have much to say today.”
32	** One of Andrea’s first lines to Bruce is asking why he always looks like he wants to jump off a cliff. When Bruce flirtatiously asks why she cares, she relies that she doesn’t and that “mother was asking.”
33	* Most of Andrea's lines are amazing, mostly due to her being a great DeadpanSnarker.
34	-->'''Andrea:''' ''[watching Bruce practice martial arts]'' What is ''that''?\
35	'''Bruce:''' Jujitsu.\
36	'''Andrea:''' {{Gesundheit}}. ''[Bruce shoots her a DisapprovingLook]'' That was a joke.\
37	'''Bruce:''' Jujitsu is no joke. It takes years to master. ''[Andrea walks over, grabs his arm, and executes an awesome shoulder throw]'' HEY!\
38	'''Andrea:''' Got a few moves of my own. Miss Hovey's self defense class for girls. ''[Bruce chuckles; Andrea is mock-offended]'' He laughs. ''[Bruce trips her and pins her]'' Nice foot work. Can you dance too? ''[Bruce smiles and they kiss. Alfred starts to walk over with drinks, notices them kissing, [[LeaveTheTwoLovebirdsAlone and quickly exits]]]''
39	** Made even better by the fact it turns into a BrickJoke later on in the film's present. Alfred really has no sense of timing, but he makes up for it by being a damn Brit ninja.
40	* Arthur pulls a dick move by bringing up Andrea and Bruce politely dispatches him afterwards.
41	-->'''Bruce:''' Thanks for the handkerchief, Arthur. You know where you can stick it. ''[shoves the handkerchief into Arthur's breast pocket]''
42	** Likewise, his meeting with Sal. The gangster ''tries'' to intimidate/chew out Arthur in the backseat of his limo, but he's become so old and emaciated by illness that he soon ends up incapacitated by a coughing fit. While Sal sucks on an oxygen tank, Arthur calmly tells the driver to pull over and gets out, declaring: "It's not very ''healthy'' in here". The look of utter "What the hell?" on his face as Arthur walks away from the once-fearsome mafioso just sells it.
43	* The Joker's initial reaction to Sal's cash offer to off Batman.
44	-->'''Joker:''' ... ''[yawns]'' What do I look like, pest control?
45	* When three of Bruce's female admirers fawn over him at his cocktail party:
46	-->'''First Woman:''' Oh, come on, Bruce. All alone in this big mansion. Haven't you ever thought about marriage, even once?\
47	'''Second Woman:''' Oh, never say the "M" word in front of Bruce. It makes him nervous.\
48	'''Third Woman:''' What about the "I" word?\
49	'''Bruce:''' ...The "I" word?\
50	'''Third Woman:''' [[TheDitz Ingagement]]! ''[Bruce immediately eye-rolls in disbelief, a glass shatters off screen]''
51	** Followed by a FieryRedhead chucking a drink in Bruce's face for retaliation over being used and dumped[[note]]she may indeed be the same person as his date in "Joker's Wild", whom he sent home with barely an explanation before investigating the casino of that name[[/note]].
52	* Bruce’s first flashback is cut when Alfred tells him a “Ms. Bambi” is dancing on the piano. As he leaves to take care of it, you can hear her (voices by Arleen Sorkin in her Harley Quinn voice) shouting, “BRUCIIIIE!!! WHERE ARRRRE YOOOOU?!”
53	* The novelization includes a number of scenes not present in the movie, one of which has Dick Grayson talking to Alfred on the phone. During their brief conversation:
54	-->'''Dick:''' Yeah, I shouldn't have bothered to ask. When have we ever known what was going on inside him?\
55	'''Alfred:''' Precisely, Master Dick.
56	* "You heard him. You heard Mr. Kung Fu."
57	* You just can't help laughing along with Arthur Reeves in his laughing fit from the Joker Venom injected into him.
58	** Particularly when Batman first shows up to interrogate him and his laughing fit flares up again as he sincerely states “[[ThisIsGonnaSuck Oh, noooo...]]” while involuntarily chuckling to himself.

Context Funny / BatmanMaskOfThePhantasm