Line #22 Funny/Bananas


1	''Bananas'' is one of those early funnier movies that the aliens from ''Film/StardustMemories'' wanted Allen to stick with.
2
3	Other Crowning Funny bits:
4	* ''Series/WideWorldOfSports'', the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat, this time bringing you live coverage of the assassination of El Presidente! With Howard Cosell [[LargeHam himself]] chewing the scenery.
5	** Bookended with Wide World Of Sports covering Fielding and Nancy's honeymoon.
6	* Fielding Mellish's speech to American diplomats -- and almost telling a dirty FarmersDaughter joke.
7	** Fielding's trip back to the United States has him [[ClarkKenting disguising himself]] with arguably the worst fake beard in human history. Upon his arrival, because he's coming from a Spanish-speaking country, a translator is provided even though Fielding speaks English[[note]]to be fair, that's only most of the time[[/note]]. The sheer insanity of having the translator work English-to-English isn't even remarked upon until the sanitarium workers show up to pursue the translator with a butterfly net.
8	* The insane office-and-exercise workdesk - The Execusizor! - Mellish is forced to demonstrate.
9	* [[https://youtu.be/8a3mk9sp0oE The courtroom trial]], as one absurdity after another is added.
10	-->'''Fielding''': I object, your honor! This trial is a travesty. It's a travesty of a mockery of a sham of a mockery of a travesty of two mockeries of a sham. I move for a mistrial. You realize there's not a single homosexual on that jury?\
11	'''Judge:''' Yes, there is.\
12	'''Fielding:''' ''(gossipy)'' Really? Which one? ls it the big guy at the end?
13	**
14	--->'''Prosecutor''': Will you tell the court why you're dressed like this?\
15	'''"J. Edgar Hoover"''': ''(as a large Black woman)'' [[HilariousInHindsight I have many enemies, and I rarely go out unless I'm in disguise]]...
16	** Later, "Hoover" says he had Fielding's phone tapped.
17	--->'''Woman:''' Hello?
18	--->''(Fielding [[HarassingPhoneCall breathing heavily into the phone]])''
19	--->'''Woman:''' Hello? Who is this?
20	--->''(Fielding [[HarassingPhoneCall breathing heavily into the phone]])''
21	--->'''Woman:''' Hello? ''Who is this?!''
22	--->''(Fielding [[HarassingPhoneCall breathing heavily into the phone]])''
23	--->'''Woman:''' Hold on a second. ''({{beat}})'' Walter, it's for you!
24	**
25	--->'''Fielding:''' Officer Dowd, have you ever had sexual relations with a girl with ''really'' big breasts?
26	--->'''Dowd:''' Yes, sir. l did.
27	--->'''Fielding:''' And how did you find it?
28	--->'''Dowd:''' Very erotic.
29	--->'''Fielding:''' ''(jealous)'' l was... l was just checking.
30	**
31	--->'''Witness''': I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I've known Fielding Mellish for years and he's a warm, wonderful human being.\
32	'''Mellish''': Uh, would the clerk read that statement back please?\
33	'''Clerk''': "I've known Fielding Mellish for years and he's a rotten, conniving, dishonest little rat."\
34	'''Mellish:''' Thank you. I just wanted to make sure you got that right.
35	**
36	--->'''Mellish''': ''(bound and gagged, making muffled noises)''\
37	'''Female Witness''': Yes, yes I did.\
38	'''Mellish''': ''(bound and gagged, making muffled noises)''\
39	'''Female Witness:''' ''(panicked)'' No!... I-I don't remember.\
40	'''Mellish''': ''(bound and gagged, making muffled noises)''\
41	'''Female Witness:''' No!\
42	'''Mellish''': ''(bound and gagged, making muffled noises)''\
43	'''Female Witness:''' Don't put words in my mouth!\
44	'''Mellish''': ''(bound and gagged, making muffled noises)''\
45	'''Female Witness''': ''(tearfully breaks down)'' Yes! Yes, it's true! I lied!
46	** Miss America testifies -- but not without singing an aria from ''Theatre/CavalleriaRusticana'' as part of the "talent" portion, while a juror is drinking out of a fish bowl.
47	--->'''Prosecutor:''' Tell the court why you think he's a traitor to his country.\
48	'''Miss America:''' I think Mr. Mellish is a traitor to this country because his views are different from the views of the president, and others of his kind. Differences of opinion should be tolerated. But not when they're too different. [[SophisticatedAsHell Then he becomes a subversive mother.]]
49	** Mellish attempts to cross-examine ''himself'' - as a hostile witness - to no avail, during which the jury happily passes a joint amongst themselves.
50	--->'''Fielding:''' Does the codename "Sapphire" mean anything to you?!
51	** Mellish is found guilty, [[spoiler:but the judge throws out the verdict on the condition Mellish never moves into his neighborhood.]]
52	* The classic moment during training when the rebel recruits are instructed that if someone is bitten by a snake, to suck out the poison. When asked, Fielding demurs, "l cannot suck anybody's leg who I'm not engaged to." However, when a busty female rebel runs through the camp clutching one of her breasts yelling, "Snake bite! Snake bite! I got bitten by a snake!", Fielding develops a huge grin and chases after her - [[AllMenArePerverts followed by the rest of the camp.]]
53	* The rebel song... that only Esposito enjoys singing.
54	* The San Marcos Dictator Vargas calls for aid, but instead of getting the [=CIA=] he called the [=UJA=] (the United Jewish Appeal). Cue the arrival of a company of [[AllJewsAreAshkenazi Hasidic rabbis]] marching through the battlezone with donation cans.
55	** Someone finally does get through to the [=CIA=] who sends a plane-load of American troops to help intervene. Which leads to this moment:
56	-->'''First soldier:''' Which side are we fighting on?\
57	'''Second soldier:''' CIA's not [[UsefulNotes/TheVietnamWar taking any chances this time]]! Half of us are for, half of us are against!
58	* To prove his worth to the rebels, Fielding is sent to the nearest village to secure food. He promptly makes a deli counter order of [[Main/OvercomplicatedMenuOrder thousands of bagged sandwiches and wheelbarrows full of coleslaw]]. And has the restaurant send the bill to Vargas. One of the thousands is a sandwich with a roll. It's identified among the piles of bags.
59	** Fielding gets the assignment when the rebel leader Esposito decide to draw straws among the men. He hands out each straw, making sure Fielding gets the short one.
60	-->'''Fielding''' (smiles weakly): Well, at least it was fair...
61	** He's also sent to help drug and kidnap a Vargas supporter, but during the scuffle Mellish manages to drug his teammates. Cue the police showing up, forcing Mellish to try and stage the whole thing as him helping his "drunk" buddies get home. And failing.
62	** [[spoiler:He escapes by grabbing a nearby tire iron and holding it up as a cross to draw a Catholic parade to follow him.]]
63	* During a TrainingMontage, Fielding is learning how to throw a grenade, but [[ThrowThePin throws the pin]]. He has just long enough to make a priceless exasperated face before the grenade explodes in his hand. Later, he tries again and successfully throws the grenade, only for [[RuleOfFunny the pin to inexplicably explode in his hand]].
64	* With the rebels victorious, Esposito gives his first speech to the waiting public. It's not exactly uplifting.
65	-->'''Esposito''': From this day on, [[WithGreatPowerComesGreatInsanity the official language of San Marcos will be Swedish]]. SILENCE! In addition to that, all citizens will be required to change their underwear every half-hour. Underwear will be worn on the outside so we can check. Furthermore, all children under 16 years old are now... 16 years old!\
66	(the crowd is understandably underwhelmed)\
67	'''Fielding''': What's the Spanish word for straitjacket?
68	* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F9Rumfb5kyU New Testament Cigarettes]].
69	-->'''Priest:''' I smoke 'em. ''He'' smokes 'em.

Context Funny / Bananas