Line #153 Funny/BadMovieBeatdown2012Episodes


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2
3	[[foldercontrol]]
4
5	[[folder:Sucker Punch]]
6	* Linkara bursting into the hotel room thinking it was [[Creator/FrankMiller "Miller Time"]], due to Brain's brief chant of "virgins and whores".
7	** Given that Bennett has trapped them in the room, they briefly wonder how Linkara managed to do that. [[LampshadeHanging Then they go back to the review]].
8	* Film Brain demands that Jesu prove that the room is hers. Cue a sleeping Nash rolling over and trying to spoon with him. And somehow, Film Brain managed to get into the bed [[RuleOfPerception without noticing that anyone else was there]].
9	* Poké-Nash!
10	-->'''Jesu''': Nash! I choose you!
11	-->Nash appears with a :D face
12	-->'''Jesu''': Use Dynamic Punch!
13	-->'''Nash''': [[HulkSpeak Nash Smash!]]
14	-->Is subsequently vaporized by Bennett
15	* Shortly after...
16	-->'''Bennett''': Your Dynamicpunch wasn't very effective, but let's see how you handle my...''Sucker Punch''.
17	-->'''Film Brain''': My god! ...that was a GHASTLY pun!
18	-->'''Jesu''': Simply stares at Film Brain before giving him a Dope Slap
19	* Speaking of puns:
20	--> '''FB''': ''(after Jesu gave him royalty money for "FEMINISM!" in US money)'' I only accept real United Kingdom currency. Not that silly, floppy cloth money. Silly American.
21	--> '''Jesu''': Alright, in that case here's a pound! ''(delivers an uppercut)''
22	* '''SYMBOLISM!!!11!!OMGWTFGENIUS!!''' being replaced with '''FEMINISM!!!11!!OMGWTFGENIUS!!'''
23	** And it gets to the point where the two of them just mumble it because they've used it so much.
24	--->'''FB and JO:''' Femminismuh...
25	--->'''Caption:''' femisughgouabuuuh
26	* Film Brain's fearful assertion that [[ForbiddenChekhovsGun they shouldn't use it too much.]]
27	* The nonsensical nature of the film's RecursiveReality:
28	--> ''[JO and Film Brain strike dramatic poses]'' \
29	'''JO:''' [[Film/{{Inception}} We need to go]] [[http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/derp derper.]] \
30	''[Camera zooms in on the wallpaper between them.]''
31	* JO [[ChekhovsGag keeps her promise to beat Film Brain with the coffee maker.]] (Which happens [[DiscretionShot entirely in voiceover]].)
32	* TheStinger, which follows Film Brain and Jesu Otaku abusing the power of Feminism to defeat Bennett and [[spoiler: Film Brain turning into a woman]].
33	-->[[spoiler: '''Film Brain''']]: I have some lovely boobs. Would you like to go pawn shopping?
34	* Where did Nash go after Bennett zapped him? [[spoiler: [[WesternAnimation/AdventureTime The Ice King]]'s lair]].
35	* Film Brain commenting on the dream sequences:
36	--> Well, y'see, I couldn't decide on what movie I wanted to make, so I just made '''ALL OF THEM.'''
37	[[/folder]]
38
39	[[folder:Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son]]
40	* Film Brain trying to impress the Rap Critic with gangsta talk.
41	* When the Rap Critic says he has not seen the previous films, because he has better things to do:
42	-->'''Rap Critic:''' This drying paint is awesome.
43	-->'''Film Brain:''' He's luckier than I am.
44	-->'''Rap Critic:''' ''(looks closely at wall)'' I don't even think this is paint.
45	* Todd's cameo, especially when the Rap Critic dives out of frame.
46	* FB notes that the film is a ripoff of ''Series/{{Glee}}'':
47	-->'''Rap Critic:''' Why didn't you show this to WebVideo/ToddInTheShadows, then?
48	-->'''Film Brain:''' Ah, but I want to inflict ''Film/AlvinAndTheChipmunks: The Squeakquel'' on him someday!
49	-->'''Rap Critic:''' That poor fool...
50	** Depending on how you view the exchange, it's either {{Foreshadowing}} or a BrickJoke, because he ''does''.
51	* The Rap Critic's response to Trent's constant use of "Damn!" whenever he sees a hot girl:
52	-->'''Rap Critic''': Damn! Damn! Damn! I swear, the stereotypical black guy from ''Film/NotAnotherTeenMovie'' had more variation than this!
53	* "Synthetic. Vagina."
54	* At the end, when Big Momma starts rapping:
55	-->'''Film Brain''': That's it. Rap is dead.
56	-->'''Rap Critic''': I would just like to personally apologize for letting anyone know that this happened.
57	[[/folder]]
58
59	[[folder:Universal Soldier: The Return]]
60	* [[WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment Dr. Insano]] shows up with a shot glass full of what he claims is a Creator/JeanClaudeVanDamme sperm sample, which he'll use to clone an army of Van Dammes that will fight his army of Bruce Lees solely for his own amusement.
61	** Then, at the end of the review, [[spoiler: he takes the shot]]. "Ick. Salty."
62	[[/folder]]
63
64	[[folder:The Tooth Fairy]]
65	* The montage song.
66	* All the jokes about Creator/DwayneJohnson's sinking film career. The HilariousInHindsight helps.
67	[[/folder]]
68
69	[[folder:Metal Man]]
70	* All the jokes about the main character's situation and how it seems to keep getting worse with every new development, as well as the AlternateCharacterInterpretation of Dr. Blake.
71	** To elaborate: the main character is forever trapped against his will in a metal suit without knowing beforehand it's impossible to remove, and must constantly listen to the AI Dr. Blake. Later on, his parents are murdered, he must forever subsist on a foul-tasting liquid (which will eventually run out, as Film Brain points out), having the suit damaged makes him prone to heart attacks and strokes and the AI Dr. Blake can view his dreams.
72	--->'''Film Brain:''' Hate to break it to you Doctor, but wearing a mechanical suit doesn't make you another species. And that certainly doesn't explain why you've condemned one of your students to ''wearing it for the rest of his life''. You've successfully taken away his family, his girlfriend and his ability to take a piss forever. ''That doesn't make you a hero, that makes you a dick!''
73	* The reviewers pointing out the film's high SpecialEffectFailure (especially considering it was made by a special effects expert), such as the screwed-up invisibility effect that causes the background to double up.
74	-->'''Film Brain:''' I think calling this ''"Metal Man"'' is probably pushing it. But let's face it, ''"Plastic and Rubber Man"'' wouldn't shift the [=DVDs=] off the shelves.
75	* The completely random part of the climax in which Metal Man deflects a missile, sending it skyward and hitting a plane.
76	* Lupa enters and declares "[[RunningGag I got the results of the test back]]: I am ''definitely'' the most annoying person on the site." And the way she seems so disappointed when Film Brain points out she's only the American champion and he's statistically the world's most annoying thing on TGWTG.
77	[[/folder]]
78
79	[[folder:The League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen]]
80	* Film Brain reveals that his coat is [[Series/DoctorWho dimensionally transcendental]], due to the number of [=DVDs=] he owns.
81	* "The Ralph thing stopped being funny months ago."
82	* Elisa suddenly popping up when the film makes a ''Theatre/ThePhantomOfTheOpera'' joke.
83	* Their commentary on the inconsistencies of [[Literature/ThePictureOfDorianGray Dorian Gray]].
84	* Parodying Quatermain's death scene.
85	--> '''Oancitizen:''' [[Film/FindingForrester You're... the man... now... dog.]]
86	--> '''Film Brain:''' [[BigNo NOOOOOOOOOO!]]
87	* The opening sequence is a revised version of the WebVideo/BrowsHeldHigh intro. The original was implausible enough, but with clips from Film Brain's wheelhouse included, it becomes downright absurd.
88	* This gem:
89	-->'''Film Brain:''' So the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen has been set, or LXG for short!
90	-->'''Oancitizen:''' Shouldn't that be "leg"?
91	-->'''Film Brain:''' Ssssssh. The "x" makes it sound cooler!
92	-->''(Oancitizen thinks for a moment, then smiles and nods with Film Brain as if saying "Oooooh, I see what you mean!")''
93	[[/folder]]
94
95	[[folder:Alvin and The Chipmunks: The Squeakquel]]
96	* When Film Brain tells Todd the film they'll be be reviewing is ''The Squeakquel'', Todd picks up a shotgun. When Todd appears in the hotel after the opening titles, he mentions he wasn't allowed to bring it on the plane.
97	** Right before this, Todd eagerly answering the Skype alert with [[HopelessSuitor "Lupa, Lupa?!"]]
98	* '''Todd:''' I'd like to point out that Creator/DavidCross titled his memoirs 'I Drink for a Reason'. [[INeedAFreakingDrink This is the reason.]]
99	* ''''[[RunningGag I AM NOT OBSESSED]] [[BerserkButton WITH ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS]]!"'''
100	* When Alvin, voiced by Justin Long, makes a reference to the movie ''Film/DodgeballATrueUnderdogStory'', Film Brain's pondering of this meta-scene causes the universe to undergo a RealityBreakingParadox (again).
101	* Matt's distaste for the [[WhatDoYouMeanItsNotForKids misplaced]] ShoutOut[=s=] to adult films when Alvin does the [[MemeticMutation "Are you talking to me?" and "Some fava beans and a nice Chianti]] spiels.
102	-->'''Film Brain:''' Ah, yes. A reference to that popular, well-known children's movie, '''''Film/TaxiDriver'''''.
103	-->'''Film Brain:''' A ''Film/SilenceOfTheLambs'' reference?! [[SarcasmMode Yeah, that's a film that kids should be aware of.]]
104	* Film Brain tries to question the logic of Alvin playing football but is stopped by Todd with a familiar-sounding line.
105	-->'''Todd:''' [[Film/{{Chinatown}} Let it go, Matt; it's Chipmunktown.]]
106	* When the chipmunks ride a cup on top of a blender while singing "You Spin Me Round (Like A Record)", Film Brain acknowledges that it's still better than the Flo Rida version, while Todd acknowledges that three chipmunks fit neatly in a blender.
107	* '''Todd:''' So, how do you think it'd smell if you pressed Alvin in a George Foreman grill? I'm guessing delicious.
108	* Shortly after the Chipettes first appear:
109	-->'''Todd:''' They're naked. This is bothering me.\
110	'''Film Brain:''' Thank you! I'm glad I'm not the only one.
111	* The "two-for-one sale" joke[[note]]"Pedophilia ''and'' bestiality!"[[/note]], perhaps the darkest bit of humor ever uttered by Film Brain.
112	* After the scene when Theodore is in bed with Toby after he gives him a "Dutch Oven" by accident.
113	-->'''Todd:''' [[SarcasmMode Oh good, the obligatory]] [[ToiletHumor fart joke]].
114	-->'''FB:''' (mimicking a child) Daddy, what's a Dutch Oven?
115	* Both expressing confusion over the movie's totally random cameo [[spoiler:of Digger, the [=NASCAR=] gopher]].
116	-->'''Todd:''' Who? No; WHY?
117	-->'''FB:''' Maybe it's to set up his own movie?
118	-->'''Todd:''' Did he get one?
119	-->'''FB:''' No.
120	-->''(Todd {{Face Palm}}s while FB tosses his hands in the air)''
121	* After mentioning that Film Brain had recently reviewed ''Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son'':
122	-->'''Todd:''' How can you stand to watch this stuff? \
123	'''FB:''' ''(maniacally cheerful)'' Because I'm insane. ''(steeples hands)'' \
124	'''Todd:''' Yeah, no shit!
125	* Aleksandr from the UK's Compare the Market[=/=]Advertising/CompareTheMeerkat advertising campaign for an insurance comparison website popping up with a "[[{{Catchphrase}} Simples]]" much to Todd's confusion, and Film Brain's noting that [[SmallReferencePools it's a UK thing]] & reassuring Todd that the Brits will have found the joke funny.
126	* The CallBack to the ''Sunday School Musical'' crossover:
127	-->'''Todd:''' You see, their music program is gonna be shut down unless the school wins a music competition. Now that sounds familiar.
128	-->'''FB:''' I'm pretty sure there's a black Christian choir who can help you out with that.
129	* The duo's reaction to the football scene with its bizarre reference.
130	-->'''Film Brain:''' A ''Film/TheSilenceOfTheLambs'' reference?! [[SarcasmMode Yeah, THAT'S a film kids should be aware of.]]
131	-->'''Todd:''' Hey, maybe they'll reenact the mangina sequence next. Creepy grin Film Brain backs away slowly
132	* Film Brain's notion of the rest of the football scene:
133	-->'''[[WebVideo/BadMovieBeatdown Film Brain]]:''' They throw the ball with Alvin on it, which, I'm pretty sure is cheating, but there you go. Alvin falls [[HopeSpot Ooo, he's dead!]] Alvin gets up Nooo, of course not, but he ends up scoring the winning touchdown, if you can call it that.
134	* Todd's quick lecture on how to properly scream "Alvin".
135	-->'''Todd''': Note the implied threat of violence. That's how it's done.
136	* One of the scenes being referred to as a "[[AddedAlliterativeAppeal stupendously stupid sequence]]".
137	[[/folder]]
138
139
140	[[folder:Scissors]]
141	* "So the film opens on a giant model of ''scissors!'' [[CatchPhrase SYMBOLISM!!!!!]] Bloody hell, I can't remember the last time I used that!"
142	* "That was quite a blasé reaction for being groped by a shopkeeper. I mean, if a shopkeeper touched ''my'' bum and tried to invite me to dinner, I'd make a point of never going in his shop again."
143	* "Oh shit, he's attacking her with bad voice dubbing!"
144	* "Seriously, how unlucky can Angie be to get sexually harassed and assaulted twice in the first five minutes? It's almost like this is a piece of shamelessly lurid exploitation!"
145	* "…she has entire room of wall-to-wall broken dolls. That's not a hobby, that's an obsession. And take it from me, who doesn't have any problems like that whatsoever." (''closeup of several stacks of [=DVDs=], cued to the PsychoStrings'')
146	* "[[LargeHam RED BEARD! RED BEARD!!!]]"
147	* The running gag about the piggy hand puppet being the creepy molester in the movie.
148	[[/folder]]
149
150	[[folder:Going Overboard]]
151	[[/folder]]
152
153	[[folder:The Dilemma]]
154	[[/folder]]
155
156	[[folder:One Night Stand]]
157	[[/folder]]
158
159	[[folder:Blade Trinity]]
160	* FB is disturbed by a guy's weird face. Once he gets decapitated, he reacts: "There! I knew he'd look much better without a head!"
161	* "Dracula is killing his fellow vampires because, you know, he's EVIL. (sigh) That's not very scary and...Aaaaaah! Dominic Purcell! That's the true face of terror!"
162	* [[WebVideo/VampireReviews Maven]] angrily demands to know why she wasn't asked to guest-review, being the vampire fangirl that she is. FB happily offers to let her join him. She accepts... just as the film reaches a scene where Dracula brutally slaughters the owners of a Goth vampire-kitsch shop. Maven runs like hell.
163	* On the notorious "cock-juggling thundercunt" line, FB's Misogyny Meter overloads and detonates.
164	[[/folder]]
165
166	[[folder:The Marksman]]
167	* His reaction to the title character's MyGreatestFailure flashback, represented with clearly two decade-old StockFootage.
168	-->'''Film Brain:''' He hit the wrong target? But... but those were the right targets in ''Film/IronEagle''! He's a hero!
169	[[/folder]]
170
171	[[folder:The Art of War II: Betrayal]]
172	* One scene features a member of a hacking group looking busy and typing furiously on her laptop, even though it's quite clearly displaying the Windows Vista password screen. Film Brain surmises that she's forgotten her password, and is just too proud to ask for help.
173	[[/folder]]
174
175	[[folder:The Art of War III: Retribution]]
176	* The massive level of FightSceneFailure on display in the film's climactic gunfight -- including the hero and BigBad not being able to hit each other despite being only about ten feet apart and hid behind soft furnishings, and objects in the background randomly exploding despite not being in either person's line of fire -- gets the following comment:
177	-->'''Film Brain:''' This is the single worst gunfight ever to be shot, directed and edited! And it is ''glorious''!
178	[[/folder]]
179
180	[[folder:Batman Returns]]
181	* Whenever Sage summons his demon voice, really.
182	* When Sage arrives:
183	-->'''Sage:''' Hello, Film Brain. I'm here to take your soul to hell.
184	-->'''Film Brain:''' Sage, first, you are aware you're in Swindon, right? I'm already fucked. And second, I've been expecting you as well.
185	-->'''Sage:''' I really shouldn't have tweeted about my England trip.
186	* The cracks about Creator/ChristopherWalken 's hair in the movie
187	* This exchange after The Penguin's reveal:
188	-->'''Film Brain''': It's just Danny De Vito in heavy makeup. It's really not all that scary.
189	-->'''Sage''': ''(angrily)'' [[PunctuatedForEmphasis THIS! IS NOT! THE PENGUIN!!]]
190	-->'''Film Brain''': Now ''that's'' scary.
191	* At the end, after Sage complained about the outdated Music/{{Prince}} soundtrack in [[Film/Batman1989 the first film]].
192	-->'''Film Brain''' I'm Mathew Buck, and he's Bennett the Sage, beating down bad movies everywhere. And to play us out...
193	-->'''Sage:''' Not Prince!
194	-->'''Film Brain''': Seal.
195	-->'''Sage''': ''(intrigued)'' [[EvenTheGuysWantHim Oh!]]
196	--> ''["Kiss from a Rose" plays over the end credits]''
197	[[/folder]]
198
199	[[folder:Ghosts of Mars]]
200	* Film Brain's reaction to the possessed miners.
201	* The warning against the usage of drugs, voiced by Webvideo/ThRapCritic.
202	[[/folder]]
203
204	[[folder:Doomsday]]
205	[[/folder]]
206
207	[[folder:The Cavern]]
208	* Film Brain's reactions to the bright lights aimed directly into the camera.
209	--> Nurse, the aspirin, please!
210	* When it turns out the creature is a caveman:
211	--> [[WesternAnimation/TheFlintstones Yabba-dabba]][[{{Asspull}} -bullshit]]!
212	[[/folder]]
213
214	[[folder:Die Another Day]]
215	* His disgusted response when Moneypenny is shown to have been using the virtual reality glasses to shag Bond, and the horror upon thinking on that further...
216	[[/folder]]
217
218	[[folder:[=xXx=]]]
219
220	* Laughing out loud at their attempt at a "skateboarding" style stunt. "Even Creator/VinDiesel can't look cool GRINDING A DINNER TRAY."
221
222	[[/folder]]
223
224	[[folder:Stealth]]
225	* His reaction to the name of the robot fighter jet, Extreme Deep Invader:
226	--> Pffff! ''Extreme Deep Invader''?! I know they're flying phalluses with penetrating missiles, but you didn't need to give it a porno name to fit an acronym!
227	* When Kara is commentating every minute detail to base as she falls to Earth after ejecting from her self-destructing plane, Mathew shows a clip from ''Film/AustinPowersInternationalManOfMystery'' where Mustafa says he's still alive, but very badly burned.
228	* When he shows the scene where EDI ignites the fuel ring formed due to the leaking fuel from the severed nozzle of the Camel Hump, he plays the song Ring of Fire by Music/JohnnyCash over the scene.
229	[[/folder]]
230
231	[[folder: Deck the Halls]]
232	[[/folder]]
233

Context Funny / BadMovieBeatdown2012Episodes