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1!!Comics
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5%% The moments from the comics are ordered chronologically by the original French publication date. Please add new entries in the appropriate place (consult Recap/Asterix if you're not sure of the order in which the books were published).
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10%% Image removed per crowner in the Moments Images Cleanup Thread: https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/crowner.php?crowner_id=crvlejao
11%% https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/posts.php?discussion=1642193091068711500
12%% Please don't add a new image without discussion in Image Pickin'.
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14
15'''Moments pages are Administrivia/SpoilersOff. Administrivia/YouHaveBeenWarned.'''
16----
17[[AC:''Recap/AsterixTheGaul'']]
18* The very first scene: Vercingetorix surrendering to Caesar by throwing his weapons... ''On'' his feet. Gets better in ''The Mansions of the Gods'', where we see that [[SelfServingMemory Caesar remembers it the way he described it in his book]].
19* One of Getafix' stall tactics when pretending to make magic potion for the garrison at Compendium is to claim he needs strawberries for the recipe - even though they're out of season. Finally, after several days, legionary Tullius Octopus brings back a basket of strawberries, which centurion Crismus Bonus immediately takes to Getafix and Asterix... who proceed to eat every single one. Getafix remarks that those strawberries were perfect - now go and get some more.
20-->'''Crismus Bonus:''' ''[jumping up and down in a rage]'' [[VillainousBreakdown YOU'VE EATEN MY STRAWBERRIES AND NOW YOU HAVEN'T GOT ANY STRAWBERRIES AND YOU WANT MORE STRAWBERRIES AND IT ISN'T FAIR AND I'VE JUST ABOUT HAD ENOUGH!]]
21* Getafix then decides to make some potion after all (the strawberries were for the taste), and after trying some, Crismus Bonus decides to test his new strength. When he fails to lift up a felled tree, he tries it on smaller boulders, until he succeeds in lifting a rock the size of his foot.
22-->'''Crismus Bonus:''' '''I'VE DONE IT! I'M A SUPERMAN!!!'''\
23'''Asterix:''' Amazing!\
24'''Marcus Ginantonicus:''' Er...Crismus Bonus...\
25'''Crismus Bonus:''' Hm?\
26'''Marcus Ginantonicus:''' There's nothing amazing about lifting that pebble!\
27'''Crismus Bonus:''' True! ''(Drops the rock on Ginantonicus' foot)''
28
29[[AC:''Recap/AsterixAndTheGoldenSickle'']]
30* As Asterix and Obelix are pursuing the Arvernian innkeeper who sold them out to Clovogarlix and Navishtrix as he flees Lutetia on the road to Gergovia, a young man in a two-horse chariot zooms past an ox-cart, to the disdain of the driver's wife... and a few panels later, we see the chariot driver has been pulled over for speeding! The icing on the cake is his facial expression and body language; we can almost hear him saying "But officer!..." as the legionary writing the ticket looks impassive.
31* The trail leads the two into a dark forest reportedly full of wolves and bandits. Asterix and Obelix make a wager over which one they'll run into first; wolves or bandits. They soon spot a man chased into a tree by a pack of wolves. After chasing the wolves off, the Gauls ask who the man is, and he replies, bashfully kicking his feet, "I'm a bandit..." Obelix is more annoyed that the bandit didn't show up sooner. "Then I'd have won my bet!"
32
33[[AC:''Recap/AsterixAndTheGoths'']]
34* When the local Roman camp mistakes Asterix and Obelix for the Goth horde they're supposed to be on the lookout for, our heroes steal uniforms from some legionaries to disguise themselves, with Asterix telling Obelix that for the sake of the masquerade they're Asterus and Obelus, and to shout things like "By Jupiter!" Obelix nearly blows this plan because he's unable to stop himself laughing like a maniac. Later on the two ditch their disguises and enter Germania. When they bump into a Goth patrol. Obelix introduces himself as, "Ave, by Jupiter! I'm Legionary Obelus and my friend is Legionary Asterus!"
35* As a result of all this, the Goths get past the patrols - who ''stop them'' to ask if they've seen Asterix and Obelix (not noticing they're blatant Goths) - as do Asterix and Obelix, while the highly confused Romans start attacking one another, much to their superior's distress.
36-->'''[[BeleagueredBoss General Cantankerus:]]''' ''(sobbing)'' They're all quite thick, and I'm their leader!
37* Choleric and his men dealing with the obstructive border guard, who won't let them pass.
38-->'''Guard:''' ''(about Getafix)'' You realize you're importing foreign goods.\
39'''Choleric:''' That was our mission - to bring back a druid to help us get ready for the next invasion. Let us through, you stupid Ostrogoth!\
40'''Guard:''' Oh, no. You'll have to see the C.O.\
41'''Choleric:''' ''(SymbolSwearing)''
42* Meanwhile, the Roman border guard has a hard time explaining how he was laid out by Choleric, and a short time later when he's laid out ''again'' by Asterix, since he figures that means the Gauls are invading Germania.
43-->'''Centurion:''' NO! NO! An invasion is when people cross the border into our country, not the other way around!
44* Rhetoric's introduction to the magic potion. Essentially, Obelix knocks the door down, and Getafix asks the guard for a cauldron and a list of ingredients. The guard complies, and nails the door shut. Not two seconds later, Obelix knocks the door down again, as Getafix asks for a pinch of salt. Frustrated, the guard complies, and repairs the door again. A second later, the door is knocked down ''again'', as Getafix forgot to say thanks.
45-->'''Gothic Guard''': WILL YOU LEAVE THAT DOOR ALONE?!
46* And when Rhetoric finally tastes the potion, he tests his new strength... on the door.
47-->'''Gothic Guard:''' '''WILL-YOU-KINDLY-LEAVE-THAT-DOOR-ALONE?!'''
48** And then when Metric gets a taste of Magic Potion and pulls a jailbreak, the guard is more annoyed than anything.
49-->'''Gothic Guard:''' Here we go again! They ought to replace that door with a curtain!
50
51[[AC:''Recap/AsterixTheGladiator'']]
52* After the initial attempt to capture Cacofonix the bard sends a Roman patrol of Compendium packing due to his singing, they attempt to block his voice by stuffing their ears with parsley. When the patrol leader sounds the ambush, none of the men follow due to the parsley in his confusion, and Cacofonix was estatic to have found a fan. When the patrol leader unwisely removes one of the parsley stalks... [[DreadfulMusician he gets subjected to the bard's horrible singing...]] [[HilarityEnsues and promptly hammers the bard single-handedly to unconsciousness]]!
53
54[[AC:''Recap/AsterixAndTheBanquet'']]
55* When LaResistance leader Jellibabix leads the troops of Prefect Poisonus Fungus on a wild goose chase that gets them hopelessly lost in Lugdunum's labyrinthine streets, the prefect decides to go in after them, but leaves a [[TrailOfBreadCrumbs trail of pebbles]] so that he can find his way out again (a caption notes the similarity to [[Literature/HanselAndGretel a famous fairy tale]]). Then, as Asterix and Obelix leave the city, we see the prefect's plan hit a snag...
56-->'''Legionary:''' Oh, was it you who dropped all those pebbles, O Prefect Poisonus Fungus? Here, I've been picking them up for you!\
57'''Poisonus Fungus:''' ''[very loud SymbolSwearing]''
58* A Roman legion captures Asterix and Obelix after they unwittingly spend the night in their camp. As one of the guards tries to chain the pair up, he takes care of Obelix, and then after putting Asterix in chains, he tries to remember where he left his hammer. There is a crack off panel, and Obelix is suddenly standing next to him, free of his chains and holding the guard's hammer. Now that Asterix is chained up, the guard tries to tie Obelix up again. But he's so nervous, it's taking a while. Asterix offers to help, breaking ''his'' chains in the process. Then when they're both chained up, Asterix points out that they've forgotten the bag of food, breaking the chains. Obelix goes over to grab it, breaking his own chains. The guard is reduced to a sobbing wreck, with the centurion awkwardly saying they won't bother with the chains.
59* After Asterix and Obelix are smuggled ashore in bags by Seniorservix and his employees at Gesocribatum, Seniorservix whispers to one of the bags that he'll let them know when the coast is clear...
60-->'''Asterix:''' All right, but did you know you're talking to our shopping bag?
61
62[[AC:''Recap/AsterixAndCleopatra'']]
63* As the rest of the village watches Asterix, Obelix (and Dogmatix), and Getafix leave with Edifis, Cacofonix tries to get Fulliautomatix's attention - but not for the reason Fulliautomatix thinks:
64-->'''Cacofonix:''' Hey! ''[taps Fulliautomatix's shoulder]''\
65'''Fulliautomatix:''' Eh? ''[grabs Cacofonix and pounds his head repeatedly]'' NO, CACOFONIX, YOU ARE NOT, REPEAT NOT, GOING TO SING!!!\
66'''Cacofonix:''' ''[dazed, as the rest of the villagers head back through the gates]'' But I wasn't going to sing! I only wanted to tell him he was treading on my toe!
67* During our heroes' voyage to Egypt the pirates spot their ship. Edifis is obviously terrified, the pirates are happy... Then Obelix salutes them as old friends, and Redbeard ''scuttles the ship''. Cue Obelix shouting at the pirates while Edifis tries to make sense of what just happened.
68--> '''Obelix''': Foul! Unsporting!\
69'''Dogmatix''': ''[barks angrily]''\
70'''Edifis''': I can't believe it, one look at you, and they sank their own ship!\
71'''Asterix''': Oh, we're old friends! We've often gone sailing together.
72* Artifis' first attempt to sabotage the construction of Edifis' palace for Cleopatra involves fomenting rebellion among the slaves, who refuse to return to work unless the whipping decreases, which Edifis fears will put them behind schedule. So Getafix brews some magic potion for the slaves. As usual, he won't let Obelix have any, not that Obelix doesn't try...
73-->'''Getafix:''' ''[as Obelix reaches the front of the queue of slaves]'' No.\
74'''Obelix:''' ''[stomps off]'' Oh, all right.\
75'''Getafix:''' ''[as Obelix reaches the front of the queue again, now [[PaperThinDisguise wearing an Egyptian cloth on his head]]]'' '''NO!'''\
76'''Obelix:''' However did he manage to penetrate my disguise?
77* The captain of the boat ferrying the stone for the palace has been bribed to "lose" it. He orders his workmen to throw the bricks into the Nile. One guy comments an owl, a person (both underlined), a symbol, and a feather (caption "'[[UsefulNotes/TheWestCountry Bain't no use argufyin' with he]]"). Another guy comments an owl laughing madly, a person tapping his head (both underlined by a wavy line), a symbol that has fallen apart, and a tattered feather (caption "Oi reckon gaffer be crazy").[[note]]The workers have a Marseille accent in the French version.[[/note]]
78* When the captain reaches the construction site with a single piece of rock small enough to hold in one hand, he claims the quarries are tapped out and that he still wants travel expenses. Asterix immediately suspects treachery, but he decides to let someone else handle the interrogation. Someone... [[JackBauerInterrogationTechnique very persuasive:]]
79-->'''Obelix:''' Can I make him talk? Oh, do let me make him talk!\
80'''Asterix:''' All right, but not too hard.\
81'''Obelix:''' ''[to Exlibris]'' How do you say: Talk?\
82'''Exlibris:''' ''[hieroglyphs of a pupilless eye and a man with his right arm raised and left arm lowered]''\
83'''Obelix:''' ''[hieroglyphs of a shakily drawn pupilless eye and a crudely drawn stick figure with its right arm raised and left arm lowered]''\
84''[the captain shakes his finger in refusal, so Obelix grabs him and starts beating him senseless, leading to a very long series of hieroglyphics]''\
85'''Exlibris:''' ''[translating]'' He says Artifis paid him to throw his cargo in the Nile and there's still stone in the quarry, lots of stone, and he'll be happy to go and get it and please don't hit quite so hard and he swears by Isis, Osiris, and Serapis never to do it again.
86
87
88[[AC:''Recap/AsterixAndTheBigFight'']]
89* The camouflaged detachment.
90-->'''Nebulus Nimbus''': (''while looking at what looks like a hedge'') '''[[NoIndoorVoice EXCELLENT, BY MARS AND JUNO! NOW WHO DARES SAY THE ART OF CAMOUFLAGE IS DYING OUT IN THE ROMAN ARMY?!]]'''\
91'''Felonius Caucus''': Er... Nebulus Nimbus... that's the garden hedge... the camouflage detachment... (''points to a group of legionaries [[EpicFail wearing a few twigs]]'') is over there![[note]] Their pathetic disguise was a failed ploy to get out of having to capture Getafix; they finally leave the camp in much more convincing disguises.[[/note]]
92* The man with the NapoleonDelusion. Of course, since this is 45 BC, no-one's got any clue what's up with him.
93
94[[AC:''Recap/AsterixInBritain'']]
95* Caesar's invasion of Britain goes slightly wrong when the locals, in accordance with the British working week, abruptly stop fighting at five o'clock every afternoon, and on weekends, much to the irritation of the legions. Caesar, canny operator that he is, therefore makes it policy to ''only'' attack at five and on weekends.
96* The Britons still have their iconic tea break, not letting silly details like "tea leaves not existing in Europe yet" stop them (tea drinking has existed for a ''very'' long time, but only in Asia, where it grows naturally). Instead, they're just straight up drinking cups of hot water, with a spot of milk in it depending on taste, much to the confusion of the Romans, who sees it as a barbaric custom. During the climax, after the loss of the potion barrel, Asterix uses the strange herbs Getafix gave him before they left the village to brew a substitute, which, sure enough, turns out to be tea leaves, giving the Britons access to tea about 1600 years ahead of schedule.
97* The "Tower of Londinium" scene. Obelix and Dipsomaniax escape their cell on the top floor and fight their way to the bottom of the tower. Seconds later, Asterix and Anticlimax enter the tower through the other entrance and fight their way to the top, calling for Obelix. Obelix hears them, and fights his way back up the tower as Asterix fights his way back down, until they ''finally'' meet in the middle. This is made doubly funny in the [[WesternAnimation/AsterixInBritain animated adaptation]] when Obelix' descent involves knocking a legionary into a wall to create a legionary-shaped indentation, and then Asterix' ascent involves converting the indentation into a [[ImpactSilhouette legionary-shaped hole.]]
98-->'''Roman:''' '''EITHER COME IN OR GO OUT, BUT FOR JUPITER'S SAKE STOP HITTING US!'''
99* The Roman legion tasked with searching the confiscated wine barrels for the one containing the potion. They start out perfectly disciplined, only having a taste of each, but there are a ''lot'' of barrels, and by the time the reader checks in on them again, they're all drunk off their asses, even the Centurion. When one of them actually does find the potion, they're all so drunk they barely notice.
100** Even better, these unfortunate legionaries all end up [[HangoverSensitivity suffering the consequences of their drunkenness]], which is a shame because, when their LargeHam [[DrillSergeantNasty commanding officer]] gives them a good chewing out, he's yelling at them.
101-->'''Legionary:''' "Let me be eaten, but stop screaming! Make him stop!"
102* While looking for the missing barrel of magic potion, Asterix and Obelix, in accordance with the rules of comedy, storm the wrong house (Anticlimax takes a moment to wipe his feet on the doormat before entering), occupied by a stereotypically English gentleman and his wife, who is unperturbed by their entrance and the following noise, other than it putting him off reading his newspaper.
103* [[RugbyIsSlaughter The rugby game]], in which one of the teams accidentally gets the barrel of magic potion instead of wine. HilarityEnsues.
104--> '''Obelix:''' We must bring this game back to Gaul!
105
106[[AC:''Recap/AsterixAndTheNormans'']]
107* [[LeeroyJenkins Overeager legionary Oleaginus]] reacts to Asterix knocking out his decurion (while barely looking up from the Norman he is fighting) by attempting to lead his fellow soldiers in a charge - which ends quickly when he collides with Obelix, who is busy beating up another Norman. Obelix turns his attention to smacking around the Roman for interrupting, and the Norman asks, "Here, what about me?" Which prompts an apology from Obelix; he hadn't realised the Norman might want a go at thumping the Roman, and he obligingly holds him out, offering to split him down the middle. The grateful Norman wastes no time clubbing the foolhardy legionary over the head.
108
109[[AC:''Recap/AsterixTheLegionary'']]
110* Obelix walking into a tree upon [[DistractedByTheSexy seeing Panacea for the first time]]... and effortlessly knocking it over (to the anger of Getafix, who was up in the tree cutting mistletoe at the time).
111-->'''Getafix:''' ''(Red-faced with anger)'' '''ENJOYING YOURSELF, OBELIX, KNOCKING DOWN TREES WHILE I'M UP IN THEM CUTTING MISTLETOE?!'''
112* After seeing Obelix wander after Panacea in a lovestruck daze, both Getafix and Asterix quickly realizes what "sickness" is bothering Obelix, and burst into laughter.
113--> '''Asterix''': You're in love, Obelix!\
114'''Getafix''': Whether Dogmatix likes it or not! ''[pets a very unimpressed Dogmatix]''\
115'''Dogmatix''': Huh! ''[turns up his nose]''
116* Asterix suggests that the smitten Obelix go visit Panacea at her father's house. Obelix bashfully kicks a full-grown tree... again, knocking it over. This is funny in itself, but the cherry on top is that the tree is where Cacofonix's ''house'' is.
117-->'''Cacofonix:''' ''(red-faced with anger)'' '''BUT I WASN'T EVEN SINGING!'''
118* When Obelix sighs three times, it's written as [[UnsoundEffect "*deep sigh*", "*deeper sigh*" and "*deepest sigh*"]].
119* While trying to join/infiltrate the Roman legion to find Panacea's lost fiancé, Obelix beats up a Roman patrol that Asterix only wanted to question. Asterix chides him for not being polite. Later Asterix loses his temper with a stubborn guard and punches him skyward. For the rest of the book Obelix uses "being polite" as a euphemism for beating up the Romans.
120-->'''Obelix''': I don't see the difference between Asterix's politeness and mine.
121* When he tries to literally be polite, Obelix still punches the Roman... but then apologizes afterwards.
122* There's another RunningGag in the book where any time a character breaks down in tears someone (usually Obelix) will assume that character is in love.
123* Anything involving Ptenisnet, the Egyptian tourist drafted into the Roman army who spends the entire rest of the book still blissfully convinced he's on a package tour. On the sea voyage to northern Africa, he follows every comment by the sergeant with hieroglyphs translating as "Old hairy [body part that rhymes with the sergeant's last word]". When the sergeant tells the legionaries that when they get to port, they'll all get their "tot of rum", he cuts off the obvious follow-up from Ptenisnet by shouting, "And if that Egyptian speaks another hieroglyph I will personally throw him overboard!" Culminates at the end, when Asterix and Obelix have brought honor to the legion: Ptenisnet remarks that it reminds him of his time in the army.
124* There were originally two Goths among the Legion volunteers, but one of them is rejected by the army doctor, since it turns out he was all skin and bones under his fur coat, and didn't meet the weight requirement.
125* When they're being fitted for their uniforms, Obelix insists he's a medium size. Cue his cuirass flying--and strikes Nefarius Purpus in the face.
126-->'''Purpus''': ''[SymbolSwearing in Latin]''\
127'''Hemispheric''': ''[in Proto-Germanic]'' What did the centurion say?\
128'''Interpreter''': ''[in Proto-Germanic]'' He said ''[SymbolSwearing]''.\
129'''Purpus''': ''[in Latin]'' What did you say to him?\
130'''Interpreter''': ''[translates the Swearing back into Latin]''
131* When the Legionaries are taking lunch, Asterix explains to Obelix that the stronger the army, the more disgusting the food is ("that's what keeps the men in a nasty mood"). Comes the food, Asterix tastes it...
132-->'''Asterix''' ''(disgusted)'': I didn't know the Roman army was ''that'' strong!
133* What is said food? Rations consisting of corn, bacon and cheese. Perfectly palatable food by themselves, had they not all been cooked together in one big glob to save time. And since Goscinny and Uderzo never miss an opportunity to poke fun at British tastes in food, Selectivemploymentax the Briton is the only one who likes it, saying it's just like the food back home.
134** When Asterix and Obelix walks into the kitchen to complain about the food, the cook is rather sarcastic at first, then yells at them that he'll report them to the officers if they bother him again. One smack from Obelix that sends the cook flying into one of his own cauldrons changes his tune, and for the rest of the album, he only prepares delicious gourmet meals for the platoon, even when they're on deployment in Africa.
135* One of the best occurrences of the RunningGag in which a character is reduced to sobbing because of the new recruits' behaviour and another character decides the first one must be lovelorn: Nefarius Purpus has just led the RagtagBunchOfMisfits under his command into Caesar's camp, and presents them to the centurion of the watch... except the only person still with him is the translator.
136-->'''Translator:''' The two Gauls have gone to look for a friend, the Greek found some men playing dice, the Belgian, the Briton, and the Goth went to have a beer, the cook's looking for ingredients for ''crêpes suzette'', and Dubius Status has reported sick. May I fall out now?\
137''[Nefarius Purpus breaks down sobbing onto the centurion of the watch's shoulder]''\
138'''Centurion:''' There, there, you'll soon be seeing your girl again!
139* After Asterix's band arrives at the camp, each of them wanders into [[UsefulNotes/JuliusCaesar Caesar]]'s tent, culminating in an exasperated "WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE!?!" from Caesar. Just as Nefarius Purpus is telling the legion that they should stop the funny business or it's the guardroom, guess where he's taken.
140* The battle between the armies of Caesar and Scipio. The two armies end up completely entangled as a result of conflicting orders from the various officers, to the point that one of the tortoises has soldiers from both Caesar and Scipio's armies in it, and no-one knows which is which. Scipio finally surrenders simply because he can't make sense of what is happening on the battlefield.
141-->'''Ptenisnet:''' ''(Speaks a series of hieroglyphs)''\
142'''Translator:''' He wants to know what's going on.\
143'''Gastronomix:''' Tell him we're just as confused as he is!
144* During the battle, someone exclaims, "Now the fat's really in the fire!". Someone, presumably Obelix, [[ComicallyMissingThePoint thinks the person made a]] [[YouAreFat fat joke]] and shouts, "Who said fat?!!"
145* Since Asterix and Obelix inadventently helped Caesar on his African campaign, centurion Nefaruis Purpus is given the glory of victory since the two were part of his platoon, in a ThrowTheDogABone moment after everything he suffered through in the story.
146
147[[AC:''Recap/AsterixAndTheChieftainsShield'']]
148* The opening scene has Vitalstatistix suffering from liver problems, and everyone proving it by poking him in his increasingly sore liver. Including Dogmatix, who decides to jump on the chief's belly when Obelix calls him over.
149** And of course, Vitalstatistix insists at stopping at every good inn on the way there, gorging on rich food and wine until he's in even worse shape than when he left the village, to the point that Asterix and Obelix have to carry him the last few miles.
150* Accompanying Vitalstatistix to the spa where he's to diet, Asterix and Obelix - who are ''not'' on a diet - proceed to drive everyone else insane due to their eating habits. As they leave, Obelix mentions all the culinary delights of Gergovia, as everyone else (Vitalstatistix included) start going [[SanitySlippage over the edge]].
151-->'''Cook:''' Funny... [[TemptingFate the patients seem rather quiet.]]\
152''(he walks through into the dining room, then wanders back in, beaten up and with a cauldron stuck to his head)''\
153'''Cook:''' I don't know what came over them! When I took the boiled vegetables in they started acting like madmen! Two or three of them even bit me!
154* The "sophisticated shower system" used as part of the spa treatment, which is just a guy with a bucket throwing water at the patient.
155* While at the spa, Obelix decides to go for a swim in one of the pools, promptly sending all the water out, leaving him, Vitalstatistix and three other guests sitting in an empty hole.
156* The absolute stretch that had to be made for the English translation when the native merchants meet at Wineandspiritix's shop - in the French original, the whole scene is a very regional joke about the dialect used by the Arvenians, but this would make absolutely no sense for anyone outside of France, so there's a half-assed joke about a slammed door and "bangers", since the young Gaul just entering was carrying a link of sausages... which ''still'' doesn't work, because "bangers" is a UK-exclusive word for sausages, not anywhere else.
157* The plot begins when Caesar wishes to remind the Gauls of his victory by demonstrating the shield of Vercingetorix, but Noxius Vapus can't find any sign of it.
158-->'''Caesar:''' No commentary.
159* While wandering around the countryside around Gergovia, the two hear Noxius Vapus (special envoy of Julius Caesar), whom they already humiliated, is nearby.
160-->'''Obelix:''' Wasn't that the name of that Roman nutcase, Asterix?\
161'''Asterix:''' If so, we've had a crack at him before.\
162'''Obelix:''' ''(wandering over toward Vapus)'' Want to go and see?\
163'''Asterix:''' ''(clearly enjoying what he knows is about to happen)'' Why not? After all, we're on holiday.\
164''(some brief violence later)''\
165'''Obelix:''' Yes, that was him alright.\
166'''Asterix:''' It's always nice to meet an old friend on holiday.\
167'''Noxius Vapus:''' ''(Beaten up)'' Most Romans come to these parts to take the waters...I seem to be the only one who comes here to take punishment!
168** During their ''first encounter'' with Noxius Vapus, Obelix punches the captain of his guards before he can order his men to attack, [[DecapitatedArmy leaving the Legionaries unwilling to attack if not given order to do so]]. Asterix and Obelix then proceed to ''[[BloodKnight give the order themselves]]'' so the fight will start already.
169** Also, the RunningGag FunnyBackgroundEvent with the four black slaves transporting Noxious Vapus. When first introduced, they look depressed and sad; after Asterix and Obelix's first beat-up of Vapus, they are gleefully smiling. After the ''second'' beat up, they clearly are barely containing their laughter; by the time they have to bring their master back to his headquarters beaten up with broken material, they aren't even bothering anymore and are openly laughting their asses off.
170* When Noxius Vapus orders Titus Crapulus to stop Asterix and Obelix from leaving garrison HQ to continue their search for the missing Winesanspirix, Crapulus falls in the legionaries, and the following exchange takes place. The funniest part is the very tall legionary in the back row who keeps accidentally smacking the legionary in front of him across the back of the head, knocking off his helmet and leaving him grimacing in pain:
171-->'''Crapulus:''' ATTEN-SHUN! STAND AT-EASE! COMPANEE-'SHUN! PAY ATTENTION, YOU LOT! AVE!\
172'''Legionaries:''' ''[saluting, in unison]'' '''AVE!'''\
173'''Crapulus:''' Right! Two strangers may try to break out of these barracks accompanied by an animal of canine breed. The order of the day is: stop them at any cos...\
174'''Legionaries:''' ''[pointing to their left, in unison]'' '''THEY WENT THATAWAY!'''
175* In order to infiltrate the spa, Obelix pretends to have health problems. He goes "ow" unconvincingly as the druid treats him... until the druid says he'll need a strict diet. Then he ''really'' means it.
176** Obelix soon gets so hungry he tries to take Dogmatix's bone. Dogmatix is... not amenable.
177* The plot hinged on both the Romans and Asterix and Obelix looking for Vercingetorix' shield. Where was it? ''Vitalstatistix had it the whole time''. Literally, he acquires it in the flashback at the start of the issue, used it to be carried around the village, and brought it with him to the spa.
178* Vitalstatistix ends up very thin from his time at the spa... only to immediatly gain back his original weight on the way back home from stopping at every inn on the way.
179* The final banquet has a sting in the tail for one of the characters - and it's not the usual one...
180-->''[at the banquet, there is a very conspicuous empty chair next to Asterix, who is shrugging as he talks to Getafix]''\
181'''Caption:''' And once again our story ends with a banquet... everyone is here. Everyone? No, someone is missing. Who can it be? ''[the next panel shows Cacofonix, happily devouring a leg of boar]''[[note]] Making this only the second time since ''Asterix the Gaul'' that Cacofonix has been allowed to attend the banquet, the other being ''Asterix and the Normans''.[[/note]] Not him; he's there all right. So who can it be, then? ''[the next panel shows the outside of Vitalstatistix' hut]'' ... WHO?\
182'''Vitalstatistix:''' ''[from inside the hut]'' But, Impedimenta, I have to sit at the head of the table! I have to go! I'm cured, my love... IMPEDIMENTA! YOU'RE NOT GOING TO HIT ME OVER THE HEAD WITH THAT SHIELD, ARE YOU?!?
183
184[[AC:''Recap/AsterixAtTheOlympicGames'']]
185* In the beginning, Geriatrix hears the Romans at Aquarium cheering while picking mushrooms. When telling Asterix, Obelix, Getafix, and Vitalstatistix about it...
186-->'''Geriatrix:''' I was near Aquarium picking mushrooms- They're good over there -when I heard cheering. The Romans seem to be in a very good mood!\
187'''Vitalstatistix:''' Hm... That's odd, Geriatrix. I don't know what to make of them...\
188'''Obelix:''' [[ComicallyMissingThePoint Soup. Mushroom soup is very nice.]]\
189'''Vitalstatistix:''' ''(Red with anger)'' '''SOUP?! IS THAT ALL YOU CAN THINK OF, OBELIX?!...''' ''(Stomps off)'' When you get mushrooms, you should make an omelette. That's how the real gourmet eats them!\
190''(Obelix and Geriatrix follow Vitalstatistix)''\
191'''Obelix:''' But, Chief Vitalstatistix...\
192'''Vitalstatistix:''' Not another word- I do the ordering around here! We'll have an omelette!\
193'''Geriatrix:''' I was thinking...perhaps on toast...\
194'''Getafix:''' Sometimes I get the impression our friends don't take things seriously enough... It may be a bad sign for us if the Romans are in a good mood.\
195'''Asterix:''' So what do you suggest, O druid?\
196'''Getafix:''' Let them stew in their own juice! It brings out the flavour. ''(Asterix gives a confused AsideGlance)''
197* A few pages later, Asterix is about to suggest the Gauls take part in the Olympic Games.
198-->'''Asterix:''' I know what we should do!\
199'''Obelix:''' Yes! [[RunningGag Mushroom soup!]]
200* The Gauls want to enter the Olympics, but Centurion Veriambitius tells them that only Romans are allowed to enter outside of Greek natives. After he leaves, Asterix happens upon a loophole - as Gaul is part of the Roman Empire, they too count as Romans! Veriambitius stops by later just in time to see the Gauls having a banquet cheering, "'''WE'RE ROMANS!'''" "'''UP WITH US ROMANS!'''"
201-->'''Veriambitius:''' [[BorrowedCatchphrase These Romans are crazy!]] I ask you! You fight people, you massacre them, you invade and occupy their territory, and then they turn against you [[MoralMyopia for no reason at all!]]
202* Vitalstatistix is outraged to discover he and the other villagers have fallen victim to ExactWords when the "deck games" and "open air sports" on their boat to Greece mean they'll have to do their own rowing, and even more outraged when the boat's captain levies a two sestertii surcharge per passenger for boarding Redbeard's pirate vessel. He refuses to pay, and they simply continue on... to the still greater outrage of Redbeard, who decided to scuttle his own ship instead of facing an entire boatload of indomitable Gauls!
203* The normally unflappable Spartans fall apart because their training camp happens to be next to the Romans, who are gorging themselves on rich food and wine after giving up any sort of training or discipline due to the Gauls taking part. It's one thing to live on a strict, meager diet when everyone else is too, like back home in Sparta, but another to have a bunch of gluttons right next door.
204* Rhodes only sent a single representative to the Olympics... a GiantMook who proceeds to curbstomp every single opponent in the boxing and wrestling events. His older brother is cheering him on in the stands, and Vitalstatistix asks if the whole family is that strong.
205--> '''Rhodian''': Oh no, our elder brother is ''much'' stronger, but our mother had to smack him, and he hasn't gotten over it yet, huh huh!
206
207[[AC:''Recap/AsterixAndTheCauldron'']]
208* At about the beginning of the book, Obelix doesn't understand why they have to fill the cauldron up with money rather than onion soup, which leads to Asterix shouting out, "We need to fill it with '''''MONEY'''''!!!". Some Romans overhear the word 'money' and think that it's payday.
209** Of course, since Asterix won't properly explain himself to the centurion, the legionaries assume that Asterix's demand for money means that they now have to pay to be in the Legions, instead of the other way around. They riot, and it is at this point that Asterix decides their the stolen money isn't in the camp.
210* Asterix trying to sell a herd of boars, and ending up in a shouting contest with another boar salesman. Made doubly funny by Obelix refusing to rise to the occasion.
211-->'''Boar Salesman:''' ''BOARS, BOARS! BEST PRIME BOARS!''\
212'''Asterix:''' '''BOOOOOOOAAAAARS, BOOOOOOAAAAARS, BEST PRIME BOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAARS!!!'''\
213'''Obelix:''' ''[scowling]'' [--Boars, boars, best prime boars.--]
214* And when somebody says they will look at the other salesman's boars...
215-->'''Obelix''': "That's right. Go and look at his boars, boars, best prime boars!"
216* When putting on an unscripted play, Obelix is unsure what to say and is told to say the first thing that comes into his head. After an awkward silence, he says, "These Romans are crazy" and gets chased away by a crowd of offended Romans.
217* Redbeard and his pirates have converted their ship into a restaurant after the Gauls ran it aground, but when Asterix and Obelix show up in search of the stolen cauldron and start beating the pirates senseless, Baba the lookout is the only pirate who escapes a beating by hiding in a cauldron, and driving Obelix away by saying [[NobodyHereButUsBirds "Noooo! There's nothing here but chestnuts!"]][[note]]The Brazilian translations give two [[InherentlyFunnyWords funny-sounding]] alternatives, "rooster stew" and "pumpkin candy".[[/note]] As the Gauls walk away, Obelix laments not taking the chestnuts, Asterix says they're not in season... and Obelix has to be restrained from going back.
218* The scene with the tax collector (a caricature of once and future Minister of Finance and future President Valéry Giscard d'Estaing), whose dialogue is entirely rendered in tax form fonts:
219-->'''Tax Collector:''' PLEASE GIVE:
220--->'''1.''' Your reasons for holding us up\
221'''2.''' An apology\
222'''3.''' Permission for us to proceed
223-->''[Asterix pushes aside the centurion leading the tax collector's bodyguard]''\
224'''Occupation: Are you:'''
225--->'''a)''' Ordinary passersby?\
226'''b)''' Motivated by friendly intentions?\
227'''c)''' Bandits?
228-->'''Asterix:''' Give us your money if you don't want to get thumped!\
229'''Tax Collector:''' '''Occupation: are you:'''
230--->'''a)''' Ordinary passersby?\
231'''b)''' Motivated by friendly intentions?\
232'''c)''' ''(checked)'' Bandits?
233-->''[pointing angrily at Asterix]'' FINAL DEMAND: ''Do not offer us any physical violence. All claims to be addressed to Caesar, Julius, City of Rome.''\
234''[a few minutes later, after Asterix and Obelix have bashed in the tax collector's bodyguards]''\
235'''Asterix:''' Now then, hand over your money!\
236'''Tax Collector: You will be taxed on the sum of which you are about to take possession'''\
237'''Asterix:''' ''[grabs the chest from under the tax collector]'' I want to fill my cauldron. If there's any money left over you can have a tax return.\
238'''Tax Collector: Your instalment on account will be deductible from the sum finally due.'''\
239'''Asterix:''' ''[empties the chest into the cauldron]'' Awfully sorry... it's exactly the amount we need... coming, Obelix? ''[they leave]''\
240'''Tax Collector:''' ''[livid]'' '''A RECEIPT! I WANT A SIGNED RECEIPT!'''
241
242[[AC:''Recap/AsterixInSpain'']]
243* Pepe refuses to eat boar and holds his breath until Obelix caves and goes to buy a fish from Unhygienix... only to return home and find that Pepe tried boar and liked it, eating his own ''and'' Obelix' boar. Obelix tries to return the fish, with Unhygienix protesting that he doesn't hire out fish; the ensuing argument leads to the village's first fish fight. When Asterix and Obelix approach Unhygienix about hiring his boat, he initially assumes Obelix is there to resume his argument, and waves a fish around in the air with a murderous look in his eye as he roars, "'''I-DO-NOT-HIRE-OUT-FISH!!!'''"
244* Bacteria thinks that hiring boats is a better idea anyway: "People are so careless. The state they return their fish in..."
245* And yet his SitcomArchnemesis Fulliautomatix does "rent" a fish to hit Cacofonix later to stop him from singing a song of farewell to the travelling Gauls and Spaniard.
246
247[[AC:''Recap/AsterixAndTheRomanAgent'']]
248* At the beginning of the book, Caesar asks his advisors for ideas on how to deal with the Gauls. Brutus [[TooDumbToLive suggests using brute force]]. Caesar immediately calls him out for his stupidity.
249* Convolvulus' talent for causing chaos, even when he's just standing there, ending up in a banquet at Caesar's house turning into a mass brawl. Convolvulus calls for everybody's attention, says that he didn't ''mean'' to cause trouble, and says that "if, in the past, you have taken advantage of Caesar's gullibility..." Cue Caesar yelling "Gullible, ME?" and getting a wink from Convolvulus, delighting him with his new secret weapon. Not to mention the casual way he deals with the pirates...
250* How Convolvulus'... talents... first became apparent: he was thrown into the Arena with starving lions. The lions then ate ''each other''.
251* Part of Convolvulus' plan involves putting on a show of the Romans having Magic Potion. The Legionaries are quite happy to have the Potion, only for Convolvulus to cry out in frustration, "But I explained it all to you! We're just pretending!"
252* Magnumopus hitting people on the head and calling it "psychological warfare".
253* When the puzzled centurion ask what the psychological warfare is, [[https://i.pinimg.com/564x/37/e1/16/37e1161198b70b319da841bf516ce493.jpg the answer is getting knocked out in the very next panel.]]
254* Also the centurion, when he decide to give battle to the village: "Get ready! Valids ones, wake up the knocked out ones!"
255* The final battle is so spread out a map is added to make sense of it. The key contains several gems:
256--> 10: Druid Getafix awaiting the outcome of the battle beside his cauldron, now empty.\
25711: Bard Cacofonix asking the druid what it's all about and what, might he ask, is going on?\
25812: Pirate ship sunk by the Gauls pouring out at (8) full of enthusiasm, discovering on arrival at the beach that there are no Romans available, and deciding not to waste their time anyway, by Toutatis.\
25914: Fulliautomatix, village blacksmith, seeing a [[VitriolicBestBuds friend]].\
26015: Unhygienix, village fishmonger, friend of the aforementioned.\
26116 (A Roman centurion [[OhCrap looking back and forth between the two]]): [[FoeTossingCharge Meeting place of the two friends.]]
262* At the end, Asterix has figured out how to deal with Convolvulus. Instead of beating the nasty little troublemaker up, he shakes hands with him, hailing his ingenuity and saying that his plans worked to perfection, and hands him the vase that Convolvulus gave him earlier, saying that it's a bonus over and above what the Gauls had already paid him. The village then gives him three cheers...and the Romans promptly arrest him, sending him back to Rome to face treason charges.
263
264[[AC:''Recap/AsterixInSwitzerland'']]
265* In the beginning, Vitalstastistix fires his normal shield-carriers and hires Asterix and Obelix. Due to the size difference, Vitalstastistix ends up on a slant, looking patently ridiculous. Asterix suggests Obelix carry the chief on his own, but Vitalstastistix feels that would make him look like a half-pint chief. When Obelix asks to leave to polish his menirs, Vitalstastistix gets upset and declares that while he's normally mild, he's feeling rather bitter right then. Cut to Obelix carrying Vitalstastistix with one arm like a waiter, attracting more laughter.
266-->'''Getafix:''' What is Obelix doing?\
267'''Asterix:''' He's serving a half-pint of mild and bitter!
268* Flavus, the Governor and villain of the piece, after poisoning Quaestor (Inquisitor) Sinisitus, attempts to call in his guards to keep out Asterix, Obelix and Getafix to prevent Sinisitus from getting better. The guards have been partaking of the orgies just as much as Flavus's guests and are drunk and hungover besides. Obelix, after beating them up, asks Getafix to have a look at them when they're done, as they didn't put up enough of a fight.
269* When Getafix makes plans to have the antidote made for Sinisitus, Flavus suggests sending his (drunk and weak) guards, then suggests they keep it Roman when Getafix starts planning with Asterix and Sinisitus in front of his face to send Obelix and Asterix to get the key ingredient. Soon our heroes are totally ignoring Flavus's interjections to the point Flavus screams "Will someone please listen to me?!!!"
270* The Roman orgies at both Varius Flavus' palace in Condatum and Curius Odus' palace in Geneva are parades of visual humour. The fondue orgy in particular has a RunningGag of a guest who has lost both legs and so gets about in a small cart; as melted cheese gets everywhere, his cart gets more and more caught up in it, to his growing frustration, until finally he is lifted off the ground as the other guests are covered in melted cheese from head to foot.
271* While they are invited as guests to a feast by some locals, Asterix suggests to Obelix that the sooner they eat, drink and sing, the sooner they can get away from the pursuing Romans. Obelix [[LiteralMinded stubbornly takes this too literally]] and immediately eats all the fondue, drinks all the wine and drunkenly tries to yodel before passing out.
272--> '''Swiss''': It usually takes us hours for us to do what your friend did in seconds!
273* The Romans reaction to the Swiss yodelling.
274-->'''Legionary 1:''' ''(terrified)'' They've got elephants!\
275'''Legionary 2:''' No you idiot, they're just singing!\
276'''Legionary 3:''' When I was stationed in Gaul, I knew a bard who sang like that...
277
278[[AC:''Recap/TheMansionsOfTheGods'']]
279* Asterix, Obelix and Getafix try to stop the construction by using acorns treated with a magic potion to instantly regrow trees that were torn down the night before. They go back to Asterix's hut for some lunch and this dialogue ensues:
280-->'''Obelix:''' Oh, look, I've still got one of those acorns left!\
281'''Asterix:''' '''NO! OBELIX, DON'T THROW IT AWAY!'''\
282''[next panel shows the three of them sitting at the table...at the top of a tree that has grown out through the roof of the hut!]''\
283'''Asterix:''' '''AND NOW YOU CAN UPROOT THIS ONE FOR ME!'''\
284'''Obelix:''' Dogmatix wouldn't like that... We'd better move house. I say, you're right, oak trees do grow fast!
285* Another attempt consists into giving the slave construction crew the magic potion, expecting them to [[SlaveLiberation rise up in arms]]... [[DidntThinkThisThrough Except the masters here are Romans]], who treat their slaves well, pay them stipends, and expect them to eventually buy their own freedom [[PragmaticVillainy so the slaves won't rebel and the masters won't have to pay for their upkeep in their old age]], so [[SurprisinglyRealisticOutcome the slaves demands an increase in their pay and to be freed upon completion and the Romans accept]]. Our heroes' reaction when they see the slaves use their strength to complete the mansion that much faster is priceless.
286** Even better, the panel where it's shown the Romans kept their word and freed the slaves reveals who some of the slaves were: ''Redbeard and his pirates'', who plan to use their money to buy a new ship.
287** The slave masters are surprised at the increase in productivity and enthusiasm from the slaves when they're paid a decent wage and treated properly, making them think that this might revolutionize slavery, not realizing they just invented non-slave labor. Several centuries too early.
288* Knowing they can't just beat up the civilian Romans living in the Mansion, since they're really only pawns in Caesar's scheme, Asterix and Obelix come up with an alternative; they set up Cacafonix with an apartment of his own in the building, telling him it's so he can be around civilized people who'll appreciate his "music". One night of hearing the bard practice is enough to clear out the whole building. That would have been the end of the scheme, had Squareonthehypothenus not been so stubborn and had the local Roman garrisson move in until new tenants could be found.
289** Asterix and Obelix barely make it out to the Mansions lawn before bursting out in laughter after getting Cacafonix settled, knowing the Romans are in for a rough night.
290--> '''Asterix''': *almost crying with laughter* We really are laying it on a bit thick!
291--> '''Obelix''': *laughing just as hard* I almost feel sorry for those Romans!
292** There's no vacancies at the Mansion at first, so Asterix and Obelix decide to get one of them to leave by having Obelix act like a froth-mouthed madman whenever the Romans visit the village, then later pretend Asterix lost track of him. Said Roman is the same guy who didn't even ''want'' to move to Gaul in the first place, but he won the first Mansion apartment at a Colosseum lottery and was told he'd be fed to the lions if he didn't accept his "prize".
293* The Gauls get an early preview of what gentrification will be like 2000 years later once Roman money starts flowing into the village; almost all the shops start selling either fish or "antiquities" because those are the items most in demand, and the Roman visitors try to buy everything that's not nailed down, including Obelix's menhirs, Vitalstatistix shield and Getafix's cauldron.
294
295[[AC:''Recap/AsterixAndTheLaurelWreath'']]
296* Vitalstatix promises his brother in law Homeopatix a stew flavored... With ''Caesar's laurel wreath''. And sends Asterix and Obelix to collect it. In his defense, [[LiquidCourage he]] ''[[LiquidCourage was]]'' [[LiquidCourage drunk]]...
297** Obelix, who got just as drunk, happily agreed to the mission.
298--> '''Obelix''': ZIGACTLY!! (a drunken "exactly")
299--> '''Vitalstatistix''': Come into my arms, Obelix!
300* The ForeignQueasine served at Homeopatix's house. It might be expensive, to show off his wealth, but "cow's hoof mold" and "beaver tails in strawberry sauce" really doesn't sound very appetizing. At least the wine is good...
301* When Asterix and Obelix first enter Humerus' home, they quickly get on the bad side of his major-domo, Goldendelicius, who angrily calls the two Gauls out on their expected favored treatment due to coming from the prestigious House of Typhus - much to their bemusement, especially Obelix's when he calls them "delicate".
302* Asterix' first ploy to get himself and Obelix sacked as Humerus' slaves is to throw everything in the kitchen into a single cauldron; when Humerus' major-domo tastes the stew, he turns white, then red, then green, then blue, then he flips upside-down, breathes fire, and begins growling in an almost feral way before coughing up bubbles (one of the ingredients having been carbolic soap). When the stew is served to Humerus and his family, it somehow [[HideousHangoverCure cures his son Metatarsus' massive hangover]], and as the shaken Humerus compliments the Gauls but releases them from future duties in the kitchen, Obelix sneaks a taste of the stew. As they return to the kitchen, this exchange occurs:
303-->'''Asterix:''' I don't understand... how can they have liked it?\
304'''Obelix:''' You're right... it was a bit insipid. ''(Asterix is dumbfounded)''
305* Their second ploy, starting up a raucous midnight parade, [[GoneHorriblyRight goes horribly right]] when instead it inspires the family to throw their own wild, night-long party, resulting in the two Gauls holing up in their room and trying desperately to block out the noise.
306-->'''Obelix:''' I say, Asterix, do you think we could resell these Romans?
307* Asterix and Obelix are to be [[FedToTheBeast fed to the beasts]], but arrive too late in the arena, by which time a starved lion has eaten all the other beasts. To avoid a riot from dissatisfied spectators, the circus is evacuated by the managers, who yell "Everyone outside!". And they mean ''everyone'' - the spectators, the staff, the prisoners, the freaking lion... and of course, Asterix and Obelix, prompting the latter to protest: [[ComicallyMissingThePoint "Not us!"]]. Asterix tells him to shut up.
308** Before they're led to the arena, Obelix asks the guard for some oil to rub on himself to look good, like the gladiators do. The guard says that mustard would probably be more helpful for his job.
309* During Roman Triumphs, the triumphing general parades through the city on a chariot while behind him there's a slave holding a laurel wreath over his head. Same ''should'' be for Caesar's Triumph... But as Asterix and Obelix did indeed collect Caesar's laurel wreath, the slave (formerly Humerus' majordomo) is holding a wreath of ''parsley'' and desperately hoping Caesar won't notice, while Caesar wonders why he feels like a fish.
310* The note at the end, revealing that the HideousHangoverCure Asterix and Obelix came up with for Humerus's family would go on to hasten the fall of the Roman Empire, as the lack of hangovers would encourage the Romans to drink and feast even more with no consequences.
311
312[[AC:''Recap/AsterixAndTheSoothsayer'']]
313* While Prolix in this book (and the animated film which combines it with ''Asterix and the Big Fight'') is an antagonist that leeches off the entire village and drives a stake between them and our heroic duo as a result, he gets ''ridiculously'' funny once the Romans capture him, and his situation grows worse and worse. He tries his usual schtick on the centurion to get him on his side, only to find out that they have orders to arrest ''all'' Gaul prophets. Then he backpedals, but he already told the centurion so many lies he wanted to hear that he wants to keep him around. For the rest of the book, Prolix tries to come up with utter random bullshit just to prove he's a not a prophet - but everything he says keeps coming true, just worsening the situation further, as the centurion wants to keep him around and will flay him if he finds he's lying, and his right hand man wants to arrest Prolix. You would feel sorry for him if you weren't laughing so hard.
314* Impedamenta reveals that her pet name for Vitalstatistix was "piggy wiggie". This causes Asterix and Obelix to completely lose it.
315
316[[AC:''Recap/AsterixInCorsica'']]
317* The pirates' boat is sunk by an [[MadeOfExplodium exploding]] cheese. Seriously. (Based on the French stereotype that Corsican cheese has a smell that would knock an elephant unconscious.) The Roman governor Perfidus recognizes it's Corsican cheese by the fact it exploded.
318* In the same book, based on another French stereotype of Corsicans, all people from Corsica wield spring knives, except for one who has a spring spear instead, which has a malfunction.
319* [[ItMakesSenseInContext Obelix can't tell a Corsican chieftain from a boar]].
320* [[DeathGlare "I do not like it when people talk to my sister."]] ''[click]''
321* [[MySisterIsOffLimits "Oh, you like my sister, do you ?!"]]
322* As the corrupt Roman praefect is planning his escape back to Rome on a ship using the enslaved pirates as a crew, he takes time to explain to Captain Redbeard how he intends to [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere abandon his entire legions to the Corsicans]] and [[YouHaveOutlivedYourUsefulness get rid of the Corsican legionary who helped him on the way back home]]:
323-->'''Redbeard''': And you mean what you said? After this, you'll give us the ship and freedom?\
324'''Praefect''': What could make you doubt my good faith? (''Redbeard gives a blank stare [[LeaningOnTheFourthWall to the reader]]'')
325
326[[AC:''Recap/AsterixAndCaesarsGift'']]
327* The titular gift: as per Roman use, legionaires who complete their service get a plot of land as a reward, and the one who was drunk for most of it and just spent his last night as a soldier in jail for being drunk, disorderly and insulting Caesar [[CoolAndUnusualPunishment received an entire village... In Armorica, surrounded by four Roman garrisons]]. You can see Caesar almost laughing as he explains his "gift" to the soldier.
328* After a fight with Asterix, Obelix goes to the inn for a drink, and... "A goat's milk, please!"
329* Once Orthopaedix is asked to bury the boar and Roman helmet Obelix gave his family:
330-->'''Orthopaedix:''' If anyone ever decides to go digging up the past behind our house, he'll have a few archaeological problems in his hands!
331* While the Romans have been using their new siege engines to pelt the Gaulish village with boulders, Obelix decides to return fire by throwing a menhir at the Romans with his own SuperStrength. Much to Obelix's displeasure, Dogmatix immediately runs off to GoFetch the menhir and slips under the village gate moments before the Roman legionaries break it down with a battering ram. The ram continues a few paces in the same direction before being stopped by Obelix's impervious belly. Obelix, unfazed by this, proceeds to run around calling to Dogmatix as the legionaries continue to futilely push against him, all while the Gauls proceed with their magic potion-fueled counterassault.
332-->'''Obelix:''' DOGMATIX! HERE!\
333'''One of the Legionaries:''' But we keep telling you he isn't here!\
334'''Egganlettus''' ''(from atop the assault tower)'': REVERSE, YOU FOOL! REVERSE!
335* When Obelix and Asterix have a bit of a misunderstanding, Asterix comes to make up. Asterix nudges Obelix playfully, who nudges Asterix back (sending him flying into a barrel), forgetting his strength. This comes back as a BrickJoke at the end, with Obelix pining over Zaza, the daughter of the family who had headed back to Lutetia. Asterix nudges him and in the next panel, Asterix is flying past Getafix, totally ecstatic.
336-->'''Asterix: Obelix is friends with me again!'''\
337'''Getafix:''' ?
338
339[[AC:''Recap/AsterixAndTheGreatCrossing'']]
340* The book opens with another fish fight breaking out after Fulliautomatix cannot resist making a joke on "smelt" in front of a seething Unhygienix. Asterix and Obelix return from a boar hunt to see all the villagers except Getafix and Cacofonix involved in the brawl, and Obelix remarks that he doesn't see why fish are worth fighting over - he never eats them. One of the fighters shouts, "Well you should! Fish is good for the brain!" An enraged Obelix roars, "'''WHO SAID THAT!?'''" and charges into the fray. (In the animated version, ''Asterix in America'', Obelix is instead upset that the other villagers are having so much fun (i.e., fighting) without them, and jumps into the BigBallOfViolence.)
341
342[[AC:''Recap/AsterixInBelgium'']]
343* When Belgians and the three Gauls first met, the latter attack a Roman camp to make a demonstration to Belgians. The legionary at the entrance, Claudius Pseudonymus, get knocked and fall in front of the Belgian audience. When the Gauls come back and argue with Belgians about how this was easy or not, [[https://scontent-cdt1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t31.18172-8/17621732_1425955687477971_2480929205411678246_o.jpg?_nc_cat=105&ccb=1-5&_nc_sid=cdbe9c&_nc_ohc=6Z5C1L5yAzYAX9Jc46v&_nc_ht=scontent-cdt1-1.xx&oh=00_AT-FR3oirRzbcrHmI8evdG8nVHDsvzDO8pL9gWmo5bHqMA&oe=6269A125 Claudius start to act as a commentator]], supporting the Gauls. He assures he's right there with Vitalstatistix, or emphasize with a "Hear!" when Vitalstatistix suggest to destroy another roman camp. The Belgians and Gauls make up, and start presentations, leading Claudius to decline his own identity, including his enroll number. Then everyone leave for the Belgian village, prompting Claudius to wave goodbye: "Ave, see you next time!". Astérix jumps and turn to him with a puzzled look. You realize then that nobody, but him, have noticed Claudius nor his interventions since the very beginning.
344* The competitive rampage the visiting Armoricans and the Belgians go on brings out the best of the Romans' DeadpanSnarker tendencies, while when Redbeard and his pirates get caught in the crossfire, the Romans are singularly uninterested in their grievances:
345-->''[a Roman camp in tatters, with bruised and battered legionaries]''\
346'''Vitalstatistix:''' We just wanted you to know that we're from Armorica.\
347'''Centurion:''' Didn't your mother ever teach you how to introduce yourself politely?\
348''[a different Roman camp in the same state as the first]''\
349'''Brawnix:''' You can tell Caesar that we're Belgian.\
350'''Centurion:''' I'm sure he'll just love that news.\
351''[a third Roman camp, also in ruins, as are its legionaries]''\
352'''Redbeard:''' See this board? We're neutrals, and...\
353'''Centurion:''' AND THE WHOLE BUNCH OF YOU ARE AS NUTTY AS THEY COME!!!\
354''[a bruised centurion, lying on the ground]''\
355'''Centurion:''' You're Armoricans? How madly interesting!\
356''[another bruised centurion, also lying on the ground]''\
357'''Centurion:''' Oh, you're Belgian, are you? Pleased to meet you, I'm sure. My regards to your good lady.\
358'''Beefix:''' ''[off panel]'' And hers to you, too.\
359''[one final ruined Roman camp with equally ruined soldiers; the pirates are trying to talk to the heavily bruised centurion]''\
360'''Centurion:''' ''[jumping up and down with rage]'' I HAVEN'T THE FAINTEST IDEA WHO'S GOING TO PAY FOR YOUR SHIP! KINDLY LEAVE ME ALONE! I'VE HAD A HARD DAY'S FIGHT AS IT IS!!!
361
362[[AC:''Recap/AsterixAndSon'']]
363* When Asterix goes to report the baby's abandonment on his doorstep to Vitalstatistix, Impedimenta acidically remarks that if a baby is left on a single man's doorstep (pointing out that foundlings are usually left in temples or with druids), "people are bound to think things!" Asterix asks, "Things? What things?" Cue individual panels of Getafix, Cacofonix, and Vitalstatistix looking at Asterix as if to say, "Just why was the baby left on ''your'' doorstep?", to Asterix' outrage.
364* When the baby, who drank some potion, hits one of the Romans, they run off.
365-->'''Roman 1''': Big Gauls have little Gauls upon their backs to bite 'em.\
366'''Roman 2''': Or us! And little Gauls have lesser Gauls...\
367'''Roman 3''': And so ad infinitum!\
368'''Roman 4''': Shut up and keep going!
369* Asterix is in Vitalstatistix's house when Obelix pops in, carrying a menhir;
370-->'''Vitalstatistix:''' Obelix, my boy, I wish to goodness you'd take your menhir off when you come indoors!\
371'''Obelix:''' But, chief, menhirs are high fashion indoors as well as out!\
372'''Vitalstatistix:''' ''(Panel shows large hole where door used to be)'' '''Too high for MY door by half, you idiot!'''
373* Asterix and Obelix prove incapable, to say the least, at looking after a magic potion-enhanced baby, as they keep leaving him unattended. The first time, he goes on a tear through the village, bashing in every front door he can get near. This leads to a hilarious CorrelationCausationGag:
374-->'''Villager:''' ''[talking to a second villager through what's left of his front door]'' ... I don't get it! I simply sneezed, opened my eyes... and look!!
375* The GossipyHens tendencies of the village wives gets worse when centurion Crismus Cactus, disguised as wetnurse Aspidistra, shows up and asks for Asterix by name, making several of the villagers think that she's the baby's real mother and Asterix is the father. Asterix ends up moving out of the house for a while to quell the rumors.
376* Cactus/Aspidistra tries to kidnap the baby under cover of night but the baby starts to cry. The legionary sings so that nobody will hear the baby, but only succeeds in waking up the entire village.
377-->'''Crismus Cactus/Aspidistra:''' ''[as the baby cries loudly]'' ♫ IT WAS SOLSTICE DAY IN THE CULINA... ♫\
378'''Voice 1:''' AND A VERY UNHAPPY SOLSTICE TO YOU TOO!\
379'''Voice 2:''' PUT A SOCK IN IT, WILL YOU?\
380'''Cacofonix:''' ONLY BARDS HAVE THE RIGHT TO SING!\
381'''Voice 3:''' CALL THAT SINGING?[[note]] Perhaps this is Fulliautomatix replying to Cacofonix rather than someone telling "Aspidistra" to shut up?[[/note]]\
382'''Impedimenta:''' WILL SOMEBODY MAKE THAT WOMAN SHUT UP?\
383'''Vitalstatistix:''' There, there, Pedimenta!\
384'''Village cockerel:''' COCK-A-DOODLE-DO!\
385'''Crismus Cactus/Aspidistra:''' ''[thought bubble]'' Foiled!
386* [[BehindTheBlack Cleopatra somehow sneaking up on everyone with her usual giant chariot, not being noticed until she announces who's the baby's father... And Asterix and others were looking in her direction]].
387
388[[AC:''Recap/AsterixAndTheMagicCarpet'']]
389* When the village leaders are in Vitalstatistix's hut and discussing the Fakir's request to take Cacofonix back to his kingdom to end the drought, Cacofonix protests that his singing does not cause rain, and sings to prove it. It starts raining ''inside'' the hut! (Obelix doesn't understand why Impedimenta is so upset; not every Gaulish hut has running water laid on!)
390
391[[AC:''Recap/AsterixAndTheSecretWeapon'']]
392* The scene when the female legionaries have gotten instated. (Their introduction also qualifies, with ''all'' of the legionaries having a reaction in the vein of HeadTiltinglyKinky.)
393-->'''Legionary 1''': If women can join the legions now, what use are we going to be?\
394'''Legionary 2''': I could tell you! I wouldn't even mind being a domesticus in that camp!
395
396[[AC:''Recap/AsterixAndObelixAllAtSea'']]
397* At the start, Caesar swears he'll feed admiral Crustacius to the lions if he can't recover his galley. In the end the galley is destroyed, but Crustacius is now a statue... So Caesar, [[IGaveMyWord who always keeps his word]], ''puts him in the arena as a statue'' with the caption "In memory of the silliest Sausage in Rome", hoping that one day lions will develop a taste for granite.
398* Cleopatra's face when she asks Caesar about the statue and gets the answer above (Caesar doesn't tell her it's the actual Crustacius transformed into a statue). Cleopatra and her pet leopard share a very confused look.
399
400[[AC:''Recap/AsterixAndTheChariotRace'']]
401* Obelix thinks he's caught the eye of one of the Kushite racers [[BigBeautifulWoman Kweenlatifer]], one of two African JunglePrincess-types. Turns out she just think Dogmatix is cute. [[BrickJoke This later leads to]] her giving a kiss reward to Dogmatix. When he chases after the Kushite racers, the heartbroken Obelix [[GreenEyedMonster immediately tells him to heel]].
402* The [[ImperturbableEnglishman Imperturbable Englishmen]], who manage to lose both wheels and still keep a StiffUpperLip. And one of them is named Madmax!
403* The racers eventually enter Umbria and get stopped by a Roman blockade, which let [[TheAce Coronavirus]] through earlier. When the blockade's centurion expects to make the other racers go through customs, they [[ScrewTheRulesImDoingWhatsRight wisely]] respond to him in [[FoeTossingCharge the usual manner]].
404
405[[AC:''Recap/AsterixAndTheWhiteIris'']]
406
407* When Asterix, Obelix, Getafix, and Vitalstatistix hold a meeting to discuss on how to rile up the recently-pacified villagers, Asterix gets an idea that involves [[DreadfulMusician Cacofonix]]. Vitalstatistix ''immediately'' [[ThisIsGonnaSuck dreads the idea with resignation]] before Asterix even starts explaining it, let alone execute it.
408
409[[AC:Other]]
410* [[{{Woolseyism}} The Italian version has a couple improvements]]:
411** Obelix's CatchPhrase "These Romans are crazy". Why? It's translated as "'''S'''ono '''P'''azzi '''Q'''uesti '''R'''omani", written this way to parallel the Roman motto "'''S'''enatus '''P'''opulus'''q'''ue '''R'''omani" ("The Roman Senate and People").
412** In the modern day, Romans are people from Rome. Thus all the Romans speak in Romanesco, Rome's dialect.
413* The very fact that Obelix is a menhir delivery man. Why would he deliver such a seemingly useless thing? A short story in ''Asterix and the Class Act'' mentions that historians do not know the historical purpose of menhirs, and neither do any of the characters. Whatever it was, they probably weren't "delivered" by anyone. As Getafix puts it in ''Obelix and Co.'', "We've been using menhirs for centuries, and we still don't know what they're for".
414%%
415%%!!Film
416
417!!Video games
418* ''Asterix & Obelix XXL 2: Mission Las Vegum'' is a glorified ReferenceOverdosed game loaded with funny moments, but here's a few highlights:
419** Sam Shieffer introducing himself to the Gauls.
420--->'''Sam Shieffer''': My name is Sam Shieffer, Gaul. And I should know a traitor when I see one. I'm a traitor myself: traitor to Rome! I'll not betray treachery 'til treason has reason of Caesar.\
421'''Obelix''': Funny, but I didn't understand a word from what he said, Asterix.
422** When you free Kerosen after the second boss fight, you're granted one of the funniest cutscenes of the game. The druid only says "Good", "No" and "Thank you" in a grave voice while Asterix tries to have a discussion with him.
423** The cutscene that plays when you deliver Suchafuss. Compared to Kerosen, Suchafuss moves and speaks, so fast '''Asterix can't even finish a single sentence without being interrupted by the druid.'''
424** Every time you access a new area in Las Vegum, Sam Shieffer tells the Gaulish duo there's a secret entrance behind a block. And every time, Obelix tells Sam Shieffer to hold it for them, forgetting that not everybody has supernatural strength like him. What's even funnier is that Sam Shieffer dug a hole to access the Seize Us Palace before Asterix and Obelix arrived.
425* In ''Asterix at the Olympic Games'', right after you've sent enough Romans in a target to open a door to help Lovestorix whose chariot has been destroyed by two Legionaries, Asterix then interrupts one of the two attackers. Cue this gem:
426-->'''Asterix''': That's not fair play, that, Roman.\
427'''Roman''': And your goat, does he play fair?[[note]] Even funnier in the French dub, just replace "Goat" with "Sister" ("Et ta soeur" is an expression equivalent to "Mind your own business" or "Piss off").[[/note]]\
428'''Asterix''': (''RecordNeedleScratch and {{Beat}}'') Well, I never. (''he then removes his helmet and headbutts the Roman, making the latter collapse, then proceeds to put his helmet back on his head'') I don't have a goat, but that's no reason to disrespect him.

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