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1[[quoteright:259:https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/staff_photo.jpg]]
2 [[caption-width-right:259:Anne [Geddes] ''did'' take that great staff photo. "That she did, that she did."]]
3
4[[foldercontrol]]
5
6[[folder:General]]
7* The newspaper headlines during the theme song in earlier seasons are evidence of either WorstNewsJudgmentEver or the Langley Falls Post editors being massive {{deadpan snarker}}s. Some highlights:
8** "[[VaguenessIsComing Stuff Happens as Wave of Ambiguity Spreads]]"
9** "Optimist Drowns in Half-Full Tub"
10** "Economy Turns A Corner, Falls Down Stairs"
11** "[[Literature/HanselAndGretel Missing Twins Found in Gingerbread House]]"
12** "Bush finally gets joke about his last name"
13** "Troops pull out of Gaza, Gaza not pregnant"
14** "Scientist Discovers Wife Cheating"
15** "Clever Bumper Sticker Ends Abortion Debate"
16** "Tantric Sex Conference [[SpeedSex Ends Prematurely]]"
17** "Creator/ZachBraff Mania Sweeps Zach Braff's Apartment"
18** "Jewish Gynecologist Develops Pap Schmear"
19** "Dems Take House, Republicans Get Record Collection"
20** "EXCLUSIVE PHOTOS! Santa exits sleigh, flashes crotch"
21** "Homemade Valentine Proves Thought Doesn't Count"
22** "Childhood obesity up, pedophilia down"
23** "Airlines to Screen Emotional Baggage"
24** "Plane Delayed as Mrs. Plane Finishes Getting Ready"
25** "WesternAnimation/{{Popeye}} Insists: 'Olive Oil Ain't No Virgin'"
26** "Al Gore Honors [[Series/MindOfMencia Carlos Mencia]] for Recycling Jokes"
27** "[[NeverMyFault Paper Mill To Town: 'You smell weird.']]"
28** "[[CreepyUncle Uncle Insists: 'Creepy is the New Quirky]]'"
29** "Bowler's Union Strikes"
30** "Big Headline: Smaller Print to Follow"
31** "Bear Market Suggests Investing in Salmon."
32** "ALIEN SPOTTED," with a picture of Roger on the front. Cue opening theme screeching to a halt as the plot begins.
33** Then in a CrossoverPunchline from a ''WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy'' episode made years after this gag had been retired: "Newspaper Gag Fails to Live Up to Expectations."
34* Stan's {{Stock Scream}}s: The surprised "OOOOOH!" and his "[=AAAAAaaaaAAAAAAAUUUUUGH=]!" scream of pain/anguish.
35* Roger is infamous for creating tons of different personas for his own personal gain. The rest of the Smiths are very tired of this and are even more exhausted when Roger's antics intercepts with their lives.
36[[/folder]]
37
38[[folder:Season 1]]
39* In the pilot when Stan freaks out and shoots the toaster apart, to which Hayley states "It's just toast, Dad."
40-->'''Stan''': This time it was toast, Hayley. ''This'' time.
41** When Stan and Francine are making out, Klaus pleads to Francine that she's meant to be with him, so Stan shuts him up by pouring fish flakes into his bowl and Klaus exclaims "Happy hour!" before pigging out.
42** Stan helps Steve get into the Student Body Election by claiming the nerdy girl running for it is a whore that's sleeping with the Jack in The Box mascot, showing a clearly Photoshopped picture of her and him together in bed to the other students' shock and disgust. Steve [[ComicallyMissingThePoint asks if that's really the Jack in the Box mascot]], which Stan answers it is, saying he has him trapped in the basement. Then it cuts to Roger opening the basement door, finding the Jack in the Box mascot bound, gagged, and naked, both screaming at the sight.
43** After Francine declares she's putting Roger on a diet, Roger gets on the kitchen table and it collapses under his weight, after which he states "Oh god, I got a bear claw in my ass."
44** When Stan is giving Hayley a body check and pulls a pack of gum out of her pocket, he throws it thinking it's a grenade and comments "Alright, it's gum." when it doesn't explode.
45** When Stan tries to help Steve get a girl, he steals her purse so Steve can get it back, but gets carried away and runs out of the mall, jumping out a window and crushing a car on the way down. Cut to him driving Steve home with glass shards in his face ([[RuleOfFunny even though he had on a wool face mask]]) and saying that he got carried away.
46** The first thing Steve does after becoming student body president is call the school's buffalo mascot in so he can ride him, then when he's done he nonchalantly calls the lunch lady in. His next act is that all periods be referred to as Steves, but apparently this includes every definition of "period".
47* This exchange from "Threat Levels":
48-->'''Stan''': What I'm saying is... you're ''fired!''\
49''(UsefulNotes/DonaldTrump suddenly appears with his hand outstretched)''\
50'''Stan''': Oh, for God's sake, ''somebody pay Mr. Trump''!
51** The BrickJoke where Stan points out that he's not paying Trump for using "You're fired" in the passive past tense ("You were fired") since he doesn't own that.
52** "Oh god, stud, stud, I hit the stud!"
53** When Stan gets in the ring with a tough wrestler, he tells Hayley and Steve, "Don't let it eat my heart!"
54* Stan and Francine watching Hayley's striptease act on "Stan Knows Best". And cheering her on.
55-->'''Stan:''' Shake it, baby you will not break it!\
56'''Francine:''' It took me nine months to make it!
57** In another scene:
58--->'''Stan:''' Hey! Turn down that rap music, it's a bad influence! I swear yo, shorty be leaning on my last nerve.
59** Then this:
60--->'''Roger:''' (when he first meets the frat boys at Hayley's college) Hi, could you please help? I'm not drunk.
61* Stan yelling at his TV, completely seriously, at the beginning of "Francine's Flashback":
62-->'''Stan:''' Shoot him! SHOOT HIM!\
63''[cut to TV shows that Stan is watching Sesame Street]''\
64'''Elmo:''' Big Bird, just share it with Cookie Monster!\
65'''Stan:''' Don't trust him! He just pretends to eat cookies but he never swallows anything!
66** This scene with Stan:
67--->'''Stan''': This midnight fishing is great!\
68'''Bullock''': Sounds to me that someone doesn't want to go home.\
69'''Stan''': Yeah, I'm laying low. Today is the anniversary of a ''huge'' fight me and Francine got into last year.\
70'''Jackson''': Yeah? What about?\
71'''Stan''': [[ForgottenAnniversary Oh, I forgot our anniversary.]] Ha, I'm never gonna do that again!\
72''[Jackson tries to say something, but is stopped by Bullock. Stan throws his line out, and drinks from his beer.]''\
73'''Stan''': (beat) [[DelayedReaction AUU]][[OhCrap UGH!]]\
74'''Bullock''': There it is.
75** A hot girl agrees to go out with Steve... if he can find a date for her large, [[{{Gonk}} unattractive]] friend, Jewel:
76--->'''Steve''': ''[nervously]'' Jewel... I'd like you to meet my friends...\
77'''Toshi''': '''''GODZILLA!''''' ''[he, Snot, and Barry run away]''
78** The entire chase scene with Stan trying to kill a raccoon like he did when they were young, only this time he's trying to do it deliberately instead of as a MercyKill. The best part is that after Stan leaves, the raccoon is revealed to have survived.
79* "Rodger Codger":
80** '''Bullock''': Then we can track down the ''bastards'' that have been harboring [Roger] and punish them brutally! I mean ''really'' brutally. Weird stuff. [[AssShove Butt stuff]].
81** The following exchange from when Roger and Stan first met:
82--->'''Stan''': Wait, ''you're'' the alien? [[ExpectingSomeoneTaller But where are your claws?]]\
83'''Roger''': Oh, I've got claws. Look at how fat those pants make you look. Mrow, kitty can scratch!
84* This line from "Homeland Insecurity":
85-->'''Stan''': Hayley! The neighborhood! What are you two doing here?
86* From "Bullocks to Stan":
87-->'''Stan''': Oh, come on! I've picked up your laundry, I polished your shoes; I've done everything but bend over backwards for you, and my daughter did that, so I say we count it!\
88\
89'''Stan''': Hey, I'm hungry! [[ItMakesSenseInContext [Bullock] rode me like an animal for three hours]]! Do you have any idea what that's like?!
90-->'''Hayley''': ''[raises eyebrows casually]''\
91'''Stan''': ...[[ParentalSexualitySquick and now I'm not hungry]].
92** The entire subplot. Especially this:
93--->'''Steve''': Hello, India. Yeah, it's Pakistan. You know that nuclear peace treaty you sent over? Well listen to this [rubs the phone on himself] Yeah, yeah that's me wiping my butt with it!
94** Add to that this gem as Jeff tries to hide from a murderous Bullock in a restaurant:
95--->'''Jeff''': ''*hides face behind menu, whispers to waitress*'' Pretend you don't know me.\
96'''Waitress''': I ''don't'' know you.\
97'''Jeff''': ''*aloud, revealing face to shake hand*'' [[TooDumbToLive Oh, hi. Jeff Fisher.]]\
98'''Bullock''': Jeff Fisher!
99** Bullock singing Music/OingoBoingo's "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V8VZS61fAYM Little Girls]]".
100* "All About Steve":
101-->'''Stan''': We're flying in our top codebreaker. His name is Tom Jorgenson. He's notoriously difficult to work with. Some call him a genius. Others call him a madman. But [[TemptingFate he's the single most valuable weapon our country has in our war on terror]].\
102''[the helicopter presumably carrying Tom crashes into the dam that the CIA agents are standing on]''\
103''[beat]''\
104'''Stan''': Scott here is, uh, pretty good at the jumble.\
105'''Scott''': ''[smiles and gives fellow agents a thumbs-up, then is killed when the tail of the exploded helicopter falls on him]''
106** Roger getting thoroughly [[CurbStompBattle thrashed]] by the Taco King, followed by Stan finding a traumatized Roger in the bathroom who sobs, "[[ItMakesSenseInContext I got beat up by a taco!]]"
107** When first confronted by the Taco King, Roger greets him with "Como estas." When he receives a hostile response, he wonders aloud "Maybe I should have used the formal 'usted'."
108* This little exchange from "It's Good to Be the Queen":
109-->'''Roger:''' Hey, with this mortar launcher, we can get back at the kid who went all Tom Sizemore on your eye.\
110'''Steve:''' Oh, I wish I could get back at him. [[RefugeInAudacity I'm gonna dress up as a girl and get him to have sex with me and then say "Ha! I'm not a girl! You just had sex with a boy that hates you!"]]\
111'''Roger:''' Yes, let's leave that plan between you, me, and the string of therapists who won't be able to help you.
112* From "Roger 'n' Me":
113-->'''Roger:''' Best buddies?! Can I be your best buddy?\
114'''Stan:''' How do I hang an air freshener on this? You are a total waste of space. I often dream of killing you. *inhales* Ahhhh, mountain pine.
115** Francine going on a rant about how when she was "on the floor with another woman" [[ReallyGetsAround guys would throw money on them,]] and then pick up the money and throw it again like she doesn't have peripheral vision! Cut to Klaus and Roger sitting in StunnedSilence.
116** Stan's antics at the bachelor party of an old friend of his from college (who Stan hasn't seen in 22 years and who never wanted him at the party in the first place--Stan had gotten the invitation totally by accident). He bursts in to what appears to be a very classy and restrained party wearing a Federal Boobie Inspector t-shirt with a case of beer under his arm, calls his friend "you old herpes-spreader," and then gives him a gag gift in the form of an Asian blow-up doll, reminiscing about how he always wanted to "climb the Great Wall of Vagina." Stan finally realizes he screwed up big-time when he's introduced to his old friend's soon-to-be father-in-law: an extremely offended-looking Japanese reverend named Hideki Obayashi. The real cherry on top is the line Stan gives when he finally gets thrown out of the party:
117--->'''Stan:''' How could someone have changed so much in 22 years?
118* In "[[Recap/AmericanDadS2E14HelpingHandis Helping Handis]]" when Stan gives Steve CIA steroids that end up giving him big boobs.
119--> '''Stan:''' You are not leaving this house until those milk monsters are gone!
120* In "Tears of a Clooney", Stan calls Francine out on the lengths she'll go through to destroy Creator/GeorgeClooney.
121-->'''Stan:''' I hate Susan Sarandon, but you don't see me cutting off my hand. ''(beat)'' I just cut my hair different for a while.
122[[/folder]]
123
124[[folder:Season 2]]
125* "Camp Refoogee": Stan decides to turn an African refugee camp into a summer camp.
126-->'''Stan''': Welcome to Camp Refoogee. [[ComicallyMissingThePoint By the way, this kind of fun isn't free. I'm gonna need checks from all your parents.]]
127* "Failure is not a Factory-installed Option":
128-->''[Steve, Hayley, and Francine are walking to the discount supermarket; Stan has left the family due to an emotional breakdown, leaving them with little money]''\
129'''Steve''': How come we had to walk here?\
130'''Francine''': ''[angrily]'' BECAUSE WE'RE POOR AS HELL!
131* From "Iced, Iced Babies", Stan after getting pepper-sprayed by Francine in the bedroom:
132-->"My eyes!!" (runs into door) "My mouth!" (backs into doorknob) "My back!" (looks at dead plant on dresser) "My begonia!" (accidentally turns on radio as it plays the opening of the Knack's song) "My Sharona!" (backs away and turns on TV as Creator/JuliaRoberts appears asking 'Marry me?') "''Film/MyBestFriendsWedding''! [[TakeThat (covers eyes) AGH! MY EYES AGAIN!!]]"
133** At the sperm bank, Francine threatens Stan that she'll inseminate herself with sperm from George Stephanopoulos, creating what she describes as a house full of liberal, Greek midget babies.
134* This exchange in "The Best Christmas Story Never Told":
135-->'''Michelle''': Now remember, you only need to wing [[UsefulNotes/RonaldReagan him.]]\
136'''Stan''': (Relieved) Wow, thank you! (Laughs) Geez, that would've been ugly.
137** At the end:
138--->'''Stan''': Wait, how'd you buy a Glock last night? There's a seven day waiting period, the Brady Bill.\
139'''Michelle''': Oh, you only shot Reagan. Eh, there's no Brady bill, you can get a gun like that! (Snaps her fingers)\
140'''Stan''': This is the best Christmas ever.
141* In "Bush Comes to Dinner", Bush getting drunk and repeatedly evading Stan.
142* In "Four Little Words", the flashbacks to the four times Francine said "I told you so" to Stan (after a British double-decker bus crashed into the Smith house, after Stan set the pool on fire, after Stan lost a game of chess to a chicken, and after Stan's bungee-jumping business ended with two 20-somethings hanging from a bridge with bungee cords around their necks).
143** And after Bullock kills Francine's friend, he delivers this line:
144--->By the way, does Francine have any other single friends? This whole thing with Melinda has made me ''really horny''.
145** '''I PRAYED TO A FREAKIN''' '''''ELEPHANT!''''' How am I going to explain ''that'' to Jesus?
146* In "When a Stan Loves a Woman", there's Stan's reaction to finding out how many men Francine slept with before him.
147-->'''Francine''': Oh, Stan, that was just sex. Sex without love is meaningless!\
148'''Stan''': Francine, I'm looking into your eyes, I'm listening to you speak, but all I can see is you taking more poundings than Omaha Beach before the ground assault began.
149* From "I Can't Stan You" after Stan evicts all the neighbors:
150-->'''Stan''': Francine, good news! The neighbors no longer hate me... because they're no longer our neighbors! ''[Camera zooms out to see neighborhood packing up and leaving]'' In other words, there goes the neighborhood! Heh heh. Ordinarily, that'd have racist implications, but I've done something far worse this time.
151* In "Rough Trade", Roger backing into the TV and causing to fall. Then he attempted to give it CPR and got electrocuted. Another funny moment is when he crashed into a convoy of cars.
152-->'''Roger:''' Cops already? [[DonutMessWithACop What, are we next to a freakin' Krispy Kreme?]]
153-->'''Stan:''' You're thinking about donuts now?!
154-->'''Roger:''' No, I'm just saying the cops got here fast!
155-->'''Stan:''' What the hell do fast cops have to do with a Krispy Kreme?!
156-->'''Roger:''' ''[[DontExplainTheJoke Because cops love donuts!!]]''
157-->'''Stan:''' ''You're not making any sense!!''
158* "Joint Custody":
159** Stan hires a man who owns a wrecking ball and crane to destroy Jeff's van.
160--->'''Jeff:''' ''(sees his smashed van)'' Whoa! What a freak accident!
161--->'''Stan:''' Thanks, Eddie! What do I owe ya?
162--->'''Eddie:''' Just tell your friends. My business is word-of-mouth.
163--->'''Stan:''' But don't you have to start charging eventually?
164--->'''Eddie:''' Eventually.
165** Stan and Roger being high from inhaling marijuana smoke. At one point, they try to buy over a hundred dollars worth of snacks because they have the munchies.
166--->'''Roger:''' Where are we gonna get that kind of money?
167--->'''Stan:''' We could turn in Jeff!
168--->'''Roger:''' I thought Jeff was innocent.
169--->'''Stan:''' ''(gasp)'' We gotta save Jeff!
170[[/folder]]
171
172[[folder:Season 3]]
173* From "The Vacation Goo":
174-->'''Francine:''' Stan, we are going on a real vacation and this family is going to bond!\
175'''Steve:''' We could go skiing!\
176'''Stan:''' Or, here's an alternate pitch. Uh, stay here, watch the Duke game - just hear me out - I order boneless wings from KFC - hang on to that thought, Hayley - I take a long bath and then, wait for it... none of you are here!\
177'''Francine:''' Or - just hear me out - we stay home and for the rest of our lives together, every time you doze off, [[GroinAttack I'll slam a book on your testicles]].
178* In "Dope and Faith", Roger gives Steve a chopstick, calls it a wand, and convinces him that he was invited to Hogwarts. The address Roger gave him was really a crackhouse, and Steve [[TooDumbToLive STILL believes it's Hogwarts]].
179** Later in the episode, Steve ''brings some of the product home with him'' because he wants to practice making potions. Cue Rogers OhCrap moment when he sees the gang leader and his men rushing through the door after him.
180--->*Roger tries to run off, but the gang members grab him and drag him over to Ice Pick.*\
181'''Roger''': [[BringMyBrownPants Oh god, I poo'd!]]
182* In "Haylias", Bullock's OhCrap moment because it is Patrick-effing-''[[Creator/PatrickStewart STEWART]]'' furiously yelling for his car- [[BilingualBonus in]] ''Spanish''.
183* In "The Most Adequate Christmas Ever", Stan asks what ''really'' happened to Creator/JimHenson. It pans up to Henson and [[Franchise/TheMuppets Kermit the Frog]] floating in [[Film/SupermanII the Phantom Zone]].
184-->'''Henson''': Forgive us!\
185'''Kermit''': You will bow down before me, son of God!
186** Jesus' birthday party.
187--->'''Server''': Hey Jesus! We're out of sushi!\
188'''Jesus''': Check again!\
189''(Beat)''\
190'''Server''': ...Thanks!
191** This exchange between Stan and {{God}}:
192--->'''God''': "So stop trying to control everything!"\
193'''Stan''': "I don't do that!"\
194'''God''': "Stan, you're holding ''a gun'' to '''God's head'''. I mean, I-I-I can't even think of a metaphor that's better than this."
195** The episode begins with Klaus getting the miniature train set up and running. When complimented by Francine, he notes conducting is in his blood as his Grandfather was a conductor at Auschwitz. This emits shocked gasps from Francine, Hayley and Steve forcing Klaus to correct the misunderstanding in one of his [[RefugeInAudacity greatest lines:]]
196--->'''Klaus''': "[[UsefulNotes/TheHolocaust No no!]] He ran the kiddie train at the zoo! You know, it's a big town there's ''other'' stuff there."
197* "Frannie 911":
198** "Help! Raccoons took my penis!"
199** Francine doing mental chess when she realizes Stan is aware of where Roger really is but is pretending he doesn't.
200--->'''Francine:''' ''(thinking)'' I know he's lying but I can't call him on it. 'Cause if I say "He's not in Napa, he's at the ice factory," he'll say "How do you know?", and I'll be like "Oooooooooh."\
201''(Francine realizes that Stan is just staring at her because she hasn't spoken in ten seconds)''\
202'''Francine:''' ''(thinking)'' Oh God, he's looking at me. Say something!\
203''(Francine claps four times)''\
204'''Francine:''' ''(thinking)'' That wasn't saying something, that was doing something!\
205'''Francine:''' ''(out loud)'' Clapping!\
206'''Francine:''' ''(thinking)'' Attagirl.
207* In the 007 parody "Tearjerker", Roger plays the titular villain, who plans to release an ultra-sad OscarBait movie about a retarded alcoholic orphaned Jewish boy with a deathly ill puppy in Nazi Germany that will cause audiences to literally cry themselves to death. The day it comes out, [[EverybodyCries audiences around the world are shown crying their eyes out watching the movie]]...except in the Middle East, where they find it hilarious.
208** When his plan is thwarted, Tearjerker tells Stan about his plan to show an even sadder movie: a 6-hour recording of a baby chimp [[PleaseWakeUp trying to revive its dead mother]].
209** The RunningGag of Tearjerker's lair being shoddily designed by the BrainlessBeauty that he hired to be his contractor. The river ride ends in his office, Stan and Sexpun fall through the floorboards while fleeing and get stuck, Tearjerker's minions also fall through the floorboards later, and his escape pod runs out of fuel right above a volcano.
210--->'''Tearjerker:''' Mike, you're the worst contractor ever!
211* This little exchange from "Oedipal Panties":
212-->'''Francine''': (angry) Stan's mom is here after being dumped for the billionth time.\
213'''Roger''': Oh, Betty's here? I love her.\
214'''Francine''': You don't even know her. Every time she visits, you're plastered.\
215'''Roger''': (gasps) I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about. (flashback to Christmas Eve, Stan is comforting his crying mother. [[NoodleIncident Roger crashes in through the window on a rope, holding a bottle of booze and knocking the Christmas tree over.]]) '''TACOS!''' (beat) Who's crying? (falls asleep, snoring)
216** Francine tries to convince Roger that Stan and Betty's relationship is unhealthy, and Roger doesn't believe her. So Francine innocently asks him to grab her some medicine from the bathroom... Where Stan and Betty are taking a bath. Roger stands there, mouth open, as Stan sings to the tune of 'Drunken Sailor':
217--->'''Stan''': What do you do when your mom's unhappy?/Jerry left her feeling crappy/Sing her a shanty nice and snappy/Wash her in the bathtub!/Wash, wash, wash your V-J/Scrub, scrub, scrub your V-J/Rinse, rinse, rinse your V-J/Next, we'll do your tushie!/Wash, wash, wash, your tushie/Scrub, scrub, scrub your tushie/Rinse, rinse, rinse your tushie/We just did your tushie!
218*** Eventually, Francine joins Roger at the door, and just does this really smug little 'I-Told-You-So' smile at him. The scene cuts at the end of the song, revealing Roger wrapped in a blanket on the couch downstairs like he's in shock.
219---->'''Francine''': I told you it was complicated.\
220'''Roger''': No, no, no, changing planes at O'Hare is complicated. Th-This is... Th-This is just... Frannie, what is this?
221** Stan's attempt to get to the airport to kidnap Hercules (His mother's fiance, ItMakesSenseInContext.) and gets stuck in traffic and tries to get into the traffic and yells "FUCK YOU!" every time someone honks their horn at him.
222* The B-plot of "Widowmaker." After Hayley kills his science project's queen bee, Steve vows revenge by raising a new colony to attack her. When he finally set them free...the bees attack him instead. Hayley and Klaus are completely unfazed by this, [[PassThePopcorn sharing a can of Pringles at the poolside while watching the scene unfold]].
223-->'''Klaus''': Your brother's weird.
224* The prisoner exchange in "Red October Sky."
225-->''[Stan and Sergei are being released by their respective opposing sides at the UsefulNotes/BerlinWall]''\
226'''Stan''': Look, Sergei! Over there lies the West! People are buying Bobby [=McFerrin=] tapes, Jolt Cola, and Scottie Pippen sneakers. That's capitalism, and it's gonna triumph over your lousy system.\
227'''Sergei''': I laugh at your decadent Western ways! Behind you lies communism. The paradise of the proletariat. Free of excess, devoted to the cause. Look at the strength and power of-- GRAB HIM!\
228''[Sergei pushes Stan into the arms of two Soviet guards, who take him in and close the door behind them]''\
229'''American soldier 1''': Damn it, Stan!\
230'''American soldier 2''': Every time!
231** The reason for Sergei's grudge against the U.S? After the fall of communism, Sergei's wife ran off with a tennis equipment salesman from West Berlin, and his beloved son became an entrepreneur - who sells ''Halloween costumes for dogs''. You do sort of see his point.
232* "Office Spaceman":
233** The opening interrupting with a scratched record once Stan picks up the newspaper and sees Roger's photo on the first page.
234** Roger attempting the "Bloody Mary" legend.
235** After Roger convinces Bullock that Stan is possessed by an alien, he resolves to take care of the problem himself:
236--->'''Roger:''' I have to go in... alone. [[IfIDoNotReturn If I don't make it out of there]], tell my wife I love her. And Creator/KeiraKnightley. Tell Keira Knightley I love her. And Creator/OrlandoBloom. You know what? [[Franchise/PiratesOfTheCaribbean The whole cast. The whole damn dirty pirate cast]]! But not Creator/GeoffreyRush. [[KickTheDog But do it in front of Geoffrey Rush]].
237* Stan's song about Oliver North that parodies ''WesternAnimation/SchoolhouseRock''
238-->'''Roger''': Crap! That's the end!
239[[/folder]]
240
241[[folder:Season 4]]
242* "The One That Got Away", as Roger explains in a flashback how he plotted to steal a pair of gloves, and needed Judy's key to open the case they're in; he tricks her into wearing a necklace he bought. [[LampshadeHanging "Sidney" points out how ridiculous that was.]]
243-->'''"Sidney"''': Wait, you spent $700 just to steal a pair of $10 gloves?\
244'''Roger''': [[{{Beat}} (Beat)]]...shut up!
245** "Hello gloves, goodbye not gloves!"
246** Roger's acts of revenge against Sidney included making him lose his job at a Bible factory by sabotaging a shipment with WordSaladHumor and [[BlackComedyRape raping his prized sycamore tree]] [[ForcedToWatch in front of its saplings]]. The guy who tells him what happened is, understandably, in disbelief that he was capable of such a thing.
247* In "One Little Word", Roger's latest addition to his crystal spider collection is a black widow that he names Music/CourtneyLove because [[TakeThat she killed her husband and she's full of toxins]].
248* Principal Lewis' announcement in "Escape from Pearl Bailey":
249-->"Hey there, big boys and girls. Four dangerous nerds are trying to escape school-sanctioned mob justice. Whoever catches them gets the $500 I keep sticking out of my pocket to make you kids think I'm rich."
250* "Pulling Double Booty":
251-->''[Hayley is unconscious on the couch after Stan tranquilized her following a post-breakup rampage]''\
252'''Francine''': I think what she needs right now is our love and support...\
253''[Hayley wakes up and immediately chokes Francine]''\
254'''Francine''': SHOOT HER! SHOOT HER IN THE FACE!
255** This part, which doubles as a TearJerker:
256--->'''Hayley''': Let's ask her! You could do her, then I could do you, then [[GirlOnGirlIsHot I could do her]] while you ''watch.''\
257'''Stan''': ...You used to watch ''Series/SesameStreet''.
258** The end (that got edited due to a RealLife wildfire that consumed a forest in southern California) where Hayley realizes she's been had by her own father and torches a forest with a single match.
259* From "Phantom of the Telethon":
260-->'''Steve''': We don't go blue! That's the lazy man's comedy!\
261'''Snot''': ''...BALLS!!''\
262'''Steve''': *chuckles* Maybe we're working too hard.\
263\
264'''Stan''': Well, that's our show! If you want to know more about torture, follow an immigrant into your local police station.
265** Roger accidentally buying an electric synth organ to play as The Phantom of The Telethon.
266--->'''Roger''': ''THIS'' is what I'm supposed to play maniacally down in the catacombs?!\
267'''Delivery Man''': Oh, what did you think you were getting for 39.95?\
268'''Roger''': No, no, this is totally unaccep- *hits the drum beat button on the synth* Oh! *plays an electric synth version of the Toccata and Fugue * Yeah, I can work with this.
269** Rogers hilariously petty sabotage of the telethon, such as adding the sentence "Stan Smith has both male and female genitalia" to the teleprompter, causing Stan to say that line instead of "[[{{Pun}} Central Insanity Agency]]" on air. He also cut the brakes of the little motorcycle the Russian bear was going to ride.
270** Roger kidnapping Steve and dressing him up as the female lead from the Phantom of The Opera to recreate the romance scene from the play. Steve just leaves in the middle of his speech.
271--->'''Roger''': STEVE, get back here!! I am TRYING TO DO SOMETHING!!
272* This little gem from "Stan Time".
273-->'''Stan''': (on the phone with Dick) This time is like a gift from the Heavens. The last thing I want to do is waste it with my kids or, God forbid, Francine. [[OhCrap (he sees Francine glaring at him.)]] Hey, Dick, do those pills make you hallucinate your wife? Damn! Do they let you go back in time to change the past? Damn! Do they make you fly? Really, but only once? All right, I'll save it for Halloween. I'm going as a turkey. Yes, they do. Yes, they do. Yes, they do. Well, then I'm gonna have to change my costume. (to Francine) Bad news about Halloween, Francine.
274* Roger attending group therapy in "Family Affair":
275-->'''Roger:''' Okay, first of all, I don't believe any of this therapy nonsense. ''(gasp)'' The Logans! Oh my God, the Logans! They were the first family I ever lived with and then they abandoned me years ago and I haven't been able to trust anybody ever since! Thank you, Doctor! You are a miracle worker!\
276''(Roger shakes the therapist's hand and leaves)''\
277'''Therapist:''' ''(to the rest of the group)'' You see that, people? ''That's'' how you share. ''That's'' a friggin' breakthrough! You make me sick!
278* "Roy Rogers [=McFreely=]":
279** Stan eating an entire bottle of horseradish (to keep Roger from having any), then breaking down in tears and later [[AmusingInjuries blowing out his own colon]].
280** One of Roger's landscaper {{Mooks}} can't get his leafblower to start, so he just blows a raspberry and pretends to use it.
281** Stan's RunningGag of saying "bosom".
282** The dramatic car chase to Cilantro's ''El Perro'' song. Topped later in the episode when Roger rips off his PaperThinDisguise and goes "It was me, Roger, the whole time."
283* From "Jack's Back":
284-->'''Francine''': ''[on the phone]'' Steve? You're in jail? Well, tell Toshi to tag you and get you out. ...What? REAL jail? Don't let anyone tag you!!\
285\
286'''Stan''': ''[as the car is leaking oil]'' Aw, great. Now it's making a black tinkle with hosey water. ''[beat, then addresses Jack]'' Mom taught me about cars, 'cause you were gone!
287** Klaus suggests that they go camping and make ''Spätzle'' (German egg noodles), and then gets offended when Steve suggests making s'mores instead.
288--->'''Klaus:''' It was my idea. I own camping. If you don't make ''Spätzle'', you can't go camping. \
289'''Francine:''' Just tell him you're gonna make ''Spätzle''. He's not gonna know.\
290'''Steve:''' No, it's the principle! We're going camping and we're not making ''Spätzle''!\
291'''Klaus:''' I HOPE YOU DIE OUT THERE!!!
292** The bit after Steve takes a picture of Stan and Jack, and drawn boobs appear on Stan. Roger is drawing on the picture with a tablet.
293--->'''Klaus''': What'cha doing?\
294'''Roger''': Steve texted me a heartwarming photo. (writes I heart Peni on Stan)
295* In "Wife Insurance", Stan and his partner Jim get held captive in Columbia. Jim manages to get them out of their cell by romancing the female guard, just by singing some lyrics from "I Need To Know" by Marc Anthony, gyrating his body, and giving her a certain look. The guard moans in utter ecstasy and frees the two. As they escape, they run into another female guard, Jim does the same thing, and he starts having sex with her in the guard tower. The first guard is standing outside with Stan, barely able to contain herself and fidgeting like she has to pee before Stan tells her to "just go".
296** Heck, the entire episode counts. The pre-mission checklist, Wheels and the Legman (banana a dink a dink!), Francine with the Flag Cleaner, then Bullock, then Father Carrington, Jim porking his way through 200 miles of jungle, Stan's backup wife Meg, Barry being interrogated by Roger and Steve using the Bad Cop/Bad Cop method, Jim doing a handstand with a screen-blur (which was only in the FOX and Adult Swim version. The DVD version doesn't blur out the bulge in Jim's Speedos), Reggie the CIA Koala, Klaus facing the Scales of Lady Justice, Stan breaking up with Meg, Reggie again, Lady Caroline Lawson and Alejandro Rojas, the ending fight. On their darkest day they are Scooby-Doo... maybe Quincy.
297* In "Stan's Night Out," he begins dancing in a restaurant, and a young boy begins dancing close to him until his dad yells for him to stop.
298-->'''Dad:''' NATHAN! Stop it! This is why you keep getting molested!
299[[/folder]]
300
301[[folder:Season 5]]
302* The entire UsefulNotes/VietnamWar reenactment in ''In Country...Club":
303** Stan getting the idea to send Steve to war.
304--->'''Stan:''' The national anthem is about war, and you'll never be able to sing it until you've ''been'' to war!\
305'''Steve:''' ''("I don't like the sound of that" tone)'' Can you expand on that idea?\
306'''Stan:''' Certainly! Take the song "Love in an Elevator." The reason it's so good is because [[Music/{{Aerosmith}} Steven Tyler]] actually lived in an elevator the summer he wrote it.\
307'''Steve:''' But the song's called "''Love'' in an Elevator," not "''Live'' in an Elevator."\
308'''Stan:''' Steve, he's a rock star living in a kickass elevator. You don't think he's getting laid? Oh, and it's summertime.
309** "It's not a Civil War reenactment. Those things are for historians and people who hate blacks."
310** A woman interrupting the Vietnam War reenactment to ask Steve, quite loudly, directions around the country club.
311--->'''Woman''': Excuse me! Do you know where the Horizon Room is?! We don't know we're from Baltimore!\
312(''Steve points to where it is'')\
313'''Woman''': Thank you! MORTY! IT'S THIS WAY! THE MAN TOLD ME IT'S THIS WAY! '''''YOU'RE GOING THE WRONG WAY!'''''\
314'''Morty''': I HEARD YOU THE FIRST TIME!
315** Steve trying to save Stan, with only two surviving squad members. One dies after getting hit with a grenade (a pine cone), the second runs off naked while high on acid. Incidentally, the guy doing that is Dick, Stan's annoying, incompetent coworker.
316** Steve raiding the Vietcong-reenactors base with a big colour sprayer, which he uses like a flamethrower.
317** Steve contracting PTSD from the "ordeal". Then, at a ceremony meant to honor veterans, fireworks start going off and he flips out screaming "Viet Cong! Viet Cong!" The other veterans are likewise spooked, and Steve ends up getting clocked in the head by an elderly man's walker.
318** The entire subplot about Roger trying to have the best evening of his life. It involves buying a $500 pay-per-view event of Music/BarbraStreisand singing covers of Music/CelineDion songs while eating a sinfully decadent bird. Highlights include:
319*** The recipe for preparing the bird; you apparently need to literally drown the still-living bird in Amaretto before [[CrossesTheLineTwice saving its life with bird CPR and then drowning it again in Creme de Menthe]]. [[BlackComedyBurst We actually see Francine do this later in the episode.]]
320*** Stan refuses to give Roger the pay-per-view code for the special, so he attempts to [[CoolAndUnusualPunishment torture it out of him by reading the 700-page-long first draft]] of the ''Film/SexAndTheCity'' movie.
321---->'''Roger:''' "Samantha's story got me thinking. If I fell, would Big be there to catch me?"\
322''[Stan screams in anger]''
323*** After the evening ends, Hayley asks him to describe how it was. He says that no word exists to describe how amazing it was.
324---->'''Roger''': Imagine being high at a Rusted Root concert while two guys take you on in a sun-baked port-o-john.\
325'''Hayley''': Wow, that actually does sound pretty fun.\
326'''Roger''': (to himself) Yeah, it actually does...
327* In "Brains, Brains, and Automobiles", Francine tries to teach Roger (who's playing Colton Lansington, a renegade space cop who struggles to keep his bipolar disorder in check). She starts talking to him very patiently, playing along with him. Suddenly, Roger shouts, "Colton doesn't take orders from nobody!", grabs Francine's head and starts slamming it in the fridge door while screaming "I'm off my meds!"
328** When Stan devises his plan to poison Roger to render him incapable of taking care of himself, he puts Klaus in the freezer to prevent him from telling Francine. When Francine opens the freezer, it's revealed that Klaus poured vodka in his bowl to keep him from freezing to death, getting drunk in the process, and when he's about to tell Francine what Stan did, he throws up and instantly fills his entire bowl with puke.
329** When Roger accidentally poisons himself he flops face down, convulsing and moaning. Stan's attempt to deny what is happening (as he was the one who left the poison out and venomized Roger the first time) is the offspring of RefugeInAudacity and CrossesTheLineTwice having a drunken one night stand:
330--->'''Stan''': Aw, he's doing his Creator/HeathLedger impersonation. *disgusted scoff* Too soon Roger, too soon!
331** While looking for Francine in Roger's mind, Stan finds an emaciated Jiminy Cricket who's dying of neglect and a webbed-up Tom Skerritt who pleads for new work.
332* In the episode "Shallow Vows", Roger is masquerading as a wedding planner named Jeanie Golde. Later on, he delivers this line:
333-->'''Roger''': Stan, remember the first rule of any wedding is that the bride is always beautiful. The second rule you can read on my website. You have to be eighteen to log on. I have some sexy barnyard stuff on there that is NOT for everyone; I could get in a lot of trouble. If you ''do'' decide to check it out, you need to clear your history right away. You may need to uninstall your browser - I'm telling you, scrub that thing clean. If you think you're being too cautious, you're not - they will take us ''both'' to jail.
334** Roger's persona "Valik" following Steve and Hayley somewhere south of the border when they don't find the perfect wedding gift for Stan and Francine.
335* In "G-String Circus", when Hayley discovers that Stan is working as a stripper under the name "[[ParallelPornTitles Michael Dangelo]]".
336-->'''Stan''': Hayley, this is not how I wanted you to find out...your daddy is a brilliant [[BlatantLies painter]]!
337** And the fact that right before that line he tries desperately to run out and fails (including jumping on a glass disco ball and falling on his butt on top of it, which would have hurt if the show followed reality), and then tries to sit down nonchalantly like nothing happened.
338* "Rapture's Delight":
339-->'''Roger''': (randomly appears dressed as Moses and is holding two tablets that read I. SURF II. DOOBIE III. CHOW IV. PARTY V. HELMET VI. SLEEP) What happened?! I was about to do something really funny!\
340'''Terry''': Apparently God does love gays, but only if they're tops.
341** The entire scene with the puppets and the badass drawings.
342--->'''Roger''': Didn't you hear the puppets?! DEMONS ARE COMING TO RAPE OUR SKULLS!
343** "He turned water into FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
344** During the rapture, when all the people are ascending naked to Heaven.
345--->'''Roger''': Wow, that homeless guy from the bus depot is really hung! But I knew that.
346** The Anti-Christ (presumably Nemo grown up) looks more like ComicBook/TheRiddler, with upside-down crosses instead of question marks. He also insists on doing everything opposite of Jesus. No matter how impractical that is.
347--->"Condemn them, Mother, for they know exactly what they do!" [[note]]"Forgive them, father, for they know not what they are doing"[[/note]]\
348\
349"Well, Jesus. You can walk on water. But let's see if you can ''swim'' in land!\
350\
351"See? You were a carpenter, while I'm not handy at all!"
352** The squeaky-voice puppet [[DissonantSerenity cheerfully narrating]] the battle of Armageddon, as armies of badass angels and demons straight out of ''TabletopGame/Warhammer40000'' [[ArtShift graphically]] [[{{Gorn}} rip each other to shreds]].
353** "Later, world! [[ProfaneLastWords Smell my ass!]]"
354* "A Jones for a Smith":
355** The scene where Roger catches Stan doing crack in the bathroom.
356--->'''Roger:''' You gonna share that crack you're doing, or what?\
357'''Stan:''' "Crack"? This is cold medicine!\
358'''Roger:''' No, sir, it's crack.\
359'''Stan:''' It's not crack! I bought it on a park bench outside a soup kitchen from a guy in a lime green suit--[[ExplainExplainOhCrap oh my God, it's crack]].
360** The hallucination that Stan has when he gives into his crack addiction, which plays out like a feel-good prescription drug commercial. It ends with him snuggling up against a homeless woman.
361--->"Do you sometimes feel irritable, restless, uneasy, sad, normal, or just plain not high? Maybe it's time to try crack. [[SideEffectsInclude Crack may cause shivers, night terrors, gay for pay, heart palpitations, homicidal paranoia, or the sensation that you're on fire. Peeing blood and seeing friends' faces as talking skeletons are possible side effects of crack.]] People who use crack may also experience five-to-seven years in prison where brutal raping may occur. If you experience one or more of these side effects, consult your dealer. You may need more crack. Crack: isn't it time you see what all the fuss is about?"
362** Francine and Klaus are part of [[Creator/OprahWinfrey Oprah's]] book club.
363--->'''Klaus:''' Ugh, why does Oprah like this one? It's so boring.
364--->'''Francine:''' Ssh! Are you crazy? You can't speak ill of Oprah. Creator/ValKilmer bad-mouthed Oprah and now he's slowly turning into a pumpkin!
365*** By then, Stan has also pawned off various things around the house to pay for his addiction, including the TV, which was replaced with a cardboard box.
366* In "May the Best Stan Win", Stan thinks that [[ItMakesSenseInContext everyday machines are plotting to destroy the world.]]
367-->'''Stan''': [[RefugeInAudacity I guess I should remove the rice cooker from the internment camp.]]
368** At the end when Cyborg Stan meets his end falling into a giant mug of boiling hot chocolate, he gives Stan a thumbs up a la the end of ''Film/{{Terminator 2|Judgment Day}}'', which transitions into him giving Stan [[FlippingTheBird the bird]].
369--->'''Cyborg!Stan''': Ah, you choc-blocked me, bro!
370** Cyborg!Stan's weird accent. When Francine asks him about it, he tells her and Stan that it's because the U.S gets conquered by Canada and Mexico in about a hundred years.
371--->'''Stan''': My god, a great nation brought down by an army of gardeners and boring people.
372** [[Film/WillyWonkaAndTheChocolateFactory Augustus Gloop]] drowning in the chocolate river ride at the amusement park.
373** One of the "attractions" at the Hershey Kiss park is a blood sugar screener for diabetics.
374** Stan telling Francine he's signed up to be made into a cyborg after he dies.
375--->'''Stan''': Francine, it's [[ExactWords "'Til Death Do Us Part"]], [[LiteralMinded at death we part]]. You go in the ground and I go shooting around in the sky like some kind of crazy robot man!
376** Stan lying to Francine about ripping up the FBI contract for turning him into a cyborg, only for Cyborg!Stan to turn up and reveal it was actually the warranty for the dishwasher. Francine tries to do it for real later, only to find out that Cyborg!Stan gave her the instrunction manual for the fridge.
377* In "Bully for Steve", Stan telling Steve [[XCalledTheyWantTheirYBack a homosexual giant called asking for his shirt back]] after seeing him stumble down the stairs in a giant shirt. The giant actually does call and tells Stan it was a false alarm. Later in the episode, Stan tries to trick Francine out of seeing his bullying of Steve by declaring "I'm having an affair with a homosexual giant!" The funny comes in when you wonder how Stan knows someone like that and why he would possibly be calling him for his shirt.
378** Also, Principal Lewis seeing a janitor turn into a werewolf on the surveillance camera (and before that, Lewis himself sitting down by the basketball court downing an entire case of beer cans and peeing on the court).
379--->'''Lewis''': [[OhCrap OH SHIT!]]
380** Before that, when Lewis has Steve and his parents come by and ask him who is bullying him, Steve looks around and sees that Stan suddenly has his "bully" hairdo pounding his fists.
381--->'''Stan''': ''(whispering)'' You better not say a fucking word or I'll kill you.
382** This:
383--->'''Stan''': (attempting to escape Francine but she crashes her car into his) Francine?! You T-boned me, bro!!\
384'''Francine''': (later) I'm no good for you right now, Steve; you are SO. FRUSTRATING. I'm gonna go down to [=SeaWorld=], punch a dolphin in the face. (drives away in still-smashed car)
385** The reason why Francine was so pissed? She tried to teach Steve to fight, only to find out that Steve is such a colossal wimp, he's incapable of even ''making a fist''!
386** [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wpp5WV3WVU4 Stelio! Stelio Kontos!]]
387* In "Great Space Roaster", they're talking about Roger's birthday plans, Klaus chimes in, prompting this response from Roger: "You can't participate, Klaus. I hate you. I say that not out of anger, but as a fact. It's 67 degrees outside, and I hate you."
388** The family's original plan for Rogers birthday was a party at the bowling alley, but Roger turned it down, pointing out that he's "not a 13-year old latino kid."
389** The way Stan calmly says that Roger is trying to kill them, and has already cut the brakes in his car.
390** Later on, Roger has escaped from a maximum-security prison to kill the Smiths and calls them from a bar in Indianapolis. He calls them and informs them via answering machine that he's still out to kill them, and hangs up...[[LeaveTheCameraRunning except he had pressed the wrong button, so we hear the sound of the phone bumping around in his pocket, hearing him asking for an iced tea, commenting on the Hoosiers, then going to his gate and asking for a copy of People magazine.]]
391** Steve's reaction when they find Roger escaped from prison.
392--->'''Francine:''' I feel bad for Roger.
393--->'''Stan:''' Don't be. It was either him or us. And I picked us.
394--->'''Greg:''' ''(on TV)'' Oh my God! Breaking news from Asia!
395--->'''Steve:''' [[ThisIsGonnaSuck Oh no.]]
396** Stan's insistence on wearing panties while on the space station, which is a reference to Ridley's clothes at the end of the first ''Film/{{Alien}}'' movie, with the justification that "Earth Stan is boxers, Space Stan is panties".
397** Both of the roasts are pretty funny. A special note goes to Francine saying that Stan is almost as bad a person as Creator/RachaelRay.
398--->'''Roger''': Why are you laughing? That's like the worst thing anyone has ever said to anyone ''EVER!''
399* "Return Of the Bling"
400** The reveal that Roger was a member of the U.S Men's Hockey team at the 1980 Winter Olympics, aka the [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miracle_on_Ice Miracle on Ice]] when the U.S beat the heavily favored Soviet team for the gold. At the team reunion, Roger is even added into photos from the actual game.
401** [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin 1980 Roger on steroids.]]
402** After getting knocked out at the youth hostel, Stan has a dream sequence where he meets UsefulNotes/RonaldReagan, who gives him some supportive advice about his quest, then offers to share a hot dog with him... which he promptly starts smacking Stan in the face with.
403-->'''Stan''': *annoyed* When I come to, there better not be a wiener slapping me in the face. (luckily, there's not, it's just the hostel madam smacking him with the hose from a beer bong)
404** Stan throwing Roget to the British backpacker girls, who are kept locked in the basement due to their... ''unique'' looks.
405-->'''Roger''': *as he's dragged off into the darkness* NOOOOOO!! They're so horny!
406[[/folder]]
407
408[[folder:Season 6]]
409* The entirety of the [[MilestoneCelebration 100th episode]] "100 A.D.". Right off the bat, when the narrator says that 100 characters from across the series will die and Roger appears as [[Series/TalesFromTheCrypt the Crypt Keeper]]:
410-->'''Roger''': ''[coughs from smoking cigarette]'' For Pete's sake, these things are gonna kill me. ''[the counter almost goes up to "001" until Roger hits it]'' But not tonight! No, tonight, we're gonna find out [[WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons who shot Mr. Burns]]. ''[to someone offstage]'' What? 15 years ago? Who was it? ... Really, the baby? ''[sighs]'' I want a baby.
411** When Stan reads Hayley's note telling him she and Jeff are getting married, Stan gets so angry, the note burns up in his hand and he [[Film/SupermanTheMovie flies around the world to reverse the flow of time.]] [[AllJustADream Or at least he thinks he does;]] he hits his head on the counter and thinks that he's in the past and Francine is her grandmother, then tells her that she's going to make him a moderately happy man, causing Francine to look annoyed.
412** Stan admits that he put {{tracking chip}}s in Steve and Hayley's skulls and that he paid extra for Hayley's tracking beacon to turn purple if her body temperature rises and the ability to make her breasts explode at any time. He and Francine discover that Hayley fed her chip to one of two dogs having sex, so Stan sees which one has it by pressing the breast detonator button and blowing its legs off. He reattaches its legs and says that the dog will make it, but the kill counter goes up by 1, confirming that no, it won't.
413** When Stan puts up a reward for anyone who can catch Hayley and Jeff, a bus full of 97 minor characters gets ready to go find them...but then [[TooDumbToLive the bus driver accidentally reverses through a gate and off a cliff]], [[EveryCarIsAPinto exploding]] upon hitting the road, causing the death counter to go from 1 to 97. The explosion then launches the theme park mascot in a bullet suit who shot Stan in "Stannie Get Your Gun" into the sky.
414*** [[BrickJoke Later on]], he lands and pierces Stan's Satanist friend Brett (from the above-mentioned "Dope and Faith") in the chest, killing him. They both die, turning the counter up to 99, and a circle of fire appears and [[DraggedOffToHell drags them both to Hell]].
415** During the newscast announcing the reward being offered to anyone who stops the wedding, they show an artist's rendering of what Hayley and Jeff look like - and it's a picture of [[Franchise/ScoobyDoo Velma and Shaggy]].
416** When Steve and Roger (as Wheels and the Legman) are driving, Roger becomes strung out on Turkish amphetamines that he dropped into his eye earlier. When Steve tries to talk to him, he assumes Steve is calling him "Legs" because he broke his legs and asks him "What did you do to my legs, you [[ThoseWackyNazis Nazi]] walrus bastard?!" and appropriately sees him as just that, and also sees Klaus as Franchise/{{Garfield}} and they're driving across an [[AcidTripDimension alien landscape]].
417--->'''Garfield!Klaus''': Steve, who is he talking to?\
418'''Roger''': Shut up, Garfield. Why...wh...why do you... Why do you hate Mondays? You don't even work! ''(throws cheese puffs at Steve)''
419* In the sequel episode "[[Recap/AmericanDadS7E2SonOfStan Son of Stan]]", Roger chases around Hayley and Jeff making an annoying sound to force them to give him the money. When they finally hand it over, Roger finds [[PyrrhicVictory the money almost gone]], because Jeff and Hayley spent so much trying to get away from him.
420** After shrugging it off, Roger decides to move on to the next adventure. He has his stage crew bring up a backdrop of the Taj Mahal, then proceeds to walk through it and fall off the Great Wall of China.
421* In "Stan's Food Restaurant", when Roger fires Stan from his recently-made dream restaurant and Stan opens a new restaurant that gets more customers than Roger's, Roger tries to make Stan look bad by bringing a salad into his place and claiming there's a dead bug in it. Stan sees through his ruse because his restaurant doesn't serve salad and he uses pancakes for plates, so he dares Roger to take a bite out of his plate. Roger does so, cutting up his mouth in the process, and promptly collapses from blood loss.
422** Stan's ridiculous ideas for his restaurant menu. The place does become a massive success in spite of all common sense (which was why Roger tried to sabotage it), but it really shouldn't have been. It includes food such as the ravioli burger (an entire hamburger, bun, toppings and all inside a ravioli shell), Macaroni and Sweet Tarts, and chocolate-chip pizza. Then there's gimmicks such as the before-mentioned pancake plates, dancing waiters, and whoopie cushion seats. It's literally the kind of random nonsense a child would come up with for a restaurant, since they're ideas Stan came up with when he was a kid.
423** Francine and Stan returns to the site where Stan's favorite childhood restaurant once stood before it was destroyed in a mysterious explosion, which now houses a church. After some reminiscing, Stan looks out on the church... which also promptly blows up.
424--> '''Stan''': They really need to stop building things here, there's clearly a gas leak or something!
425** At the end, Roger tries to repair their friendship by blowing up Stan's restaurant and having the fire spread to his. As you would expect Stan tries to strangle him, so Roger holds a gun up to his chin telling him to calm down.
426** Roger hanging a sign outside Stan's restaurant that reads, "Our Clumsy Cooks Have AIDS"
427* In "Best Little Horror House in Langley Falls" Stan starts singing the Ghostbusters theme song, only for Roger to angrily stop him and deliver this gem:
428-->'''Roger:''' How ''dare'' you quote Ghostbusters to me! I wrote a movie called ''Rumpbusters'' and threw it at a guy on the bus who looked like Creator/HaroldRamis. Two weeks later, [[Film/Ghostbusters1984 Ghostbusters]] came out. Coincidence? Absolutely!
429* At the end of "White Rice", Sweeps [=McCullough=] (another of Roger's personas) says he needs to borrow a chair and Stan's belt. Before grabbing the belt, Sweeps drags the chair off-screen, and then comes running back as Roger:
430-->'''Roger''': (hysterical) Sweeps is dead! He hung himself! No!\
431'''Stan''': I never gave you my belt.\
432'''Roger''': (calmly) You didn't? Give it to me.\
433''[Roger takes the belt and throws it off-screen, in the same direction "Sweeps" went]''\
434'''Roger''': (hysterical) Sweeps is dead!
435* In "There Will Be Bad Blood," Stan tries to steal Rusty's wealth by drugging his family in the middle of the night and dumping them in his own house. Rusty is not fooled for a second, calling it "the old house switcheroony," and they drive back wearing the Smith family's regular outfits. His butler is also wearing Hayley's clothes, while in an uncensored version, he's wearing an S&M outfit.
436* In "The People vs. Martin Sugar", while being taken to prison, Roger makes the bus driver crash by telling him a joke and the bus falls off a cliff. An officer shows up to arrest him, but [[AHandfulForAnEye Roger blinds him with a handful of dirt]], [[GroinAttack punches him in the groin]], and steals his cruiser, only to get distracted by his own joke and drive off the same cliff into the overturned bus. He then does the same thing when another officer shows up, but drives that one's cruiser into the bus within five seconds and decides to just run for it.
437** Roger throws paper airplanes containing notes for Stan, who is on the jury in his trial. Stan reads the first two, "''[[AccidentalInnuendo You're going to get me off, right?]]''", and "''In the case, of course. Not sexually.''". The third note flies out the open window and hits a guy walking down the street. He opens it and reads, "''Although, I wouldn't mind having sex with you.''". The guy looks at a human statue standing further down the sidewalk, unbuckles his trousers as ''[[Music/MarvinGaye Let's Get It On]]'' starts playing, and waddles towards the human statue, who begins to run away in steps.
438** Jeff is revealed to have a hyperactive libido, so when Francine walks in on him masturbating in the bathroom, she tells him "If you're going to do that, you do it where the rest of the family does: in Steve's bed!"
439--->'''Steve''': (offscreen) [[BigWhat WHAAT!?]]
440** Stan listing off his top ten fictitious dogs. They are: Film/{{Benji}}; Film/AirBud; Spike, [[Franchise/{{Peanuts}} Snoopy's]] ne'er-do-well desert-dwelling brother; Eddie from ''Series/{{Frasier}}''; Spuds [=MacKenzie=]; Hooch from ''Film/TurnerAndHooch''; [=McGruff=] the Crime Dog, who Stan had already mentioned; Film/OldYeller; Series/{{Lassie}}; and his number one pick is [[WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy Brian Griffin]]. Who happens to be standing right next to him and wondering if he knows Stan.
441--->'''Stan:''' Stop pretending I don't exist!!
442* "Stanny Boy and Frantastic": [[GroinAttack Nut Punch]], BLOCKED, [[CrossesTheLineTwice Counter Nut Punch!]]
443* "I Am the Walrus". Stan gets paranoid that Steve is going to overthrow him like what happens in the animal kingdom. Steve tries to and ends up doing a good job of it and ends with Stan reasserting his dominance thanks to a suggestion from Klaus in the form of tricking Steve into walking in on Stan and Francine having sex and Stan intentionally makes it known that they're having sex.
444-->'''Stan''': Oh, no, it's Steve!\
445'''Francine''': Oh, my God! Steve, don't look!\
446'''Stan''': Yes, Steve, don't look! ''(whispering)'' Look!\
447'''Francine''': Mommy and Daddy are just dancing!\
448'''Stan''': Yeah, we're dancing! ''(whispering)'' We're not dancing.
449** Stan visits Steve, who is sitting in his room, traumatized:
450--->'''Stan''': Hey, champ. I wanted to talk to you. You know, about what you just saw. Because [[NotWhatItLooksLike things aren't always what they appear.]] Sometimes when someone is choking, you have to get behind them and give them the Heimlich. [[WellThisIsNotThatTrope This was]] ''[[WellThisIsNotThatTrope not]]'' [[WellThisIsNotThatTrope that.]] I was not helping your mother with a leg cramp. I was not giving her a lying-down hug. I was not helping her look for her contact. I was ''plowing'', Steve.\
451'''Steve''': ''(weakly)'' Oh, my goodness...\
452'''Stan''': See, in the animal kingdom, he who mates is king. And you're many, many years from finding a mate of your own. This is nature, bitch! We're getting primal in this house!
453** The flashback to Steve's birth.
454--->'''Francine:''' AHHHHHHHHH!!! I just tore from my V to my A!!!\
455'''Doctor:''' That's perfectly normal. ''(to nurse)'' She's ruined. ''(Francine pushes Steve out)'' It's a boy!\
456''(Steve is wrapped and given to Stan)''\
457'''Stan:''' ''(menacingly)'' I know you're coming for me.\
458''(Steve squints his eyes back, as if saying "Oh it's on")''
459* From "School Lies":
460** Roger (dressed as Steve) being dropped off at Stuffington Academy in order to befriend Senator Buckingham's daughter:
461--->'''Stan''': Here we are. Stuffington Academy. I'm glad we were able to come to an agreement on this. Have a good day at school, son.\
462'''Roger''': I'm already having a good day 'cause you called me son. ''(leans in)'' Now give me a kiss. Kiss me on the lips, ''daaaaaaad''. I want that kind of relationship with you. ''(beat)'' You thought about it. I saw it.
463* In "Flirting With Disaster", Patrick Stewart gives us this immortal line:
464-->'''Bullock''': Remember your 4th of July barbeque? I ''[[CrossesTheLineTwice muff-punched your gram-gram]]''. She was just too senile to know it!
465** '''Bullock''': Where... the hell..... '''''IS MY SANDWICH!'''''
466*** This is a BrickJoke from earlier, when Bullock pulls a gun on Dick when it looks like he's about to steal his sandwich.
467---->'''Bullock''': It says "Property of Bullock. ''No'' Touchy."
468* This exchange in "Gorillas in the Mist", after Roger calls country music lame:
469-->'''Hayley''': You gotta listen to the words. Country music comes from the heart.\
470'''Roger''': It comes from the ''ASS''. Right in the ''middle'' of the ''ASS''.
471** Also the hilariously awful country song Roger sings right after that.
472[[/folder]]
473
474[[folder:Season 7]]
475* From "Hurricane!", there are Stan's increasingly moronic attempts to protect the family, including getting a {{bear|sAreBadNews}} to kill a [[ThreateningShark shark]] after the house floods, which backfires when they start working together to kill the Smiths ("They're brothers in arms", as Steve puts it), trying to electrocute them using two cables and electrifying Roger instead, then trying to harpoon the shark and harpooning Francine's right shoulder instead.
476** The high point comes when Stan harpoons Francine. ''The freaking bear'' stops trying to kill the Smiths, and [[EvenTheDogIsAshamed shakes his head at Stan]], giving a look that just screams "Dude, ''really''?"
477** When the house initially floods and Stan, Hayley, and Jeff are trapped in the attic, Klaus swears everyone off and jumps out of his fish bowl to take advantage of the flood. Unfortunately for Klaus, he's a freshwater fish and the house is filled with saltwater, so once he jumps out, he starts yelling in pain until Hayley puts him back in his bowl.
478** When the shark eats the house's design plans out of Steve's hands, he remarks "It's hungry for flesh ''and'' knowledge!"
479** Principal Lewis reminding viewers of his CrazyIsCool-ness by standing on his house as it's carried away by the flood, while wearing two ammo belts and a red Speedo and firing two M249s in the air.
480--->'''Lewis''': End of days, bitches! BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
481* In "A Ward Show", Steve gets beat up by three teachers. Roger retaliates by [[DisproportionateRetribution planting]] [[ExternalCombustion bombs]] in their cars. After the first two's cars explode, the third tries to run away, then suddenly, ''[[MadeOfExplodium he]]'' [[MadeOfExplodium explodes]] leaving behind only his legs. Doubles as a SugarWiki/MomentOfAwesome, since the teachers beating up Steve was pretty gruesome.
482* "The Worst Stan": "These Cubans are HASSLING ME!"
483* In "Virtual In-Stanity", there's a slideshow of Steve's early life and Stan is absent from every clip. In particular, when he was born the doctor bit his umbilical cord apart, and when it looks like Stan was teaching Steve how to ride a bike it zooms out to show that it's actually a homeless guy stealing it.
484** "Nice girls don't kiss on the first date. Your mother didn't kiss me until our third date! It made the sex on our first two dates ''very'' impersonal!"
485** The main plot of Stan trying to get closer to Steve by using a remote-controlled android girl to date him produces some great highlights, such as [[https://youtu.be/71RPSeaXpj8 Stan twerking,]] a fight between him and Francine (the latter in a mech suit) that ends up causing massive property damage, and Steve's "schedule" that consists of page after page of "whack it." When "Phyllis" promies to have sex with him if he takes her to the dance, he crosses out the entry on dance night and replaces it with "SEX!" then [[CrossesTheLineTwice changes his plans for the day after to "AIDS TEST!"]]
486--->'''Stan''': (As Phyllis) [[CrossesTheLineTwice Must... get plowed... by son...]]
487** Stan's co-worker Dick has his own avatar, a muscular black man named "[[InnocentInnuendo Black Dick]]". Bullock tells the others to not make any immature jokes about this, but can't help himself from noting that Black Dick is "huge and veiny". On top of that, Black Dick apparently has a comically small penis, as he asks the pharmacist if they sell any condoms smaller than Extra Small.
488** Roger's violent revenge against the guys who stiffed him for a limo ride:
489--->'''Klaus''': You're really going to kill ''five'' people over ''$20?!''\
490'''Roger''': Are you really asking that to the guy who [[NoodleIncident just last week killed]] ''[[NoodleIncident six]]'' [[NoodleIncident people over]] ''[[NoodleIncident $19]]''?
491* "The Scarlett Getter":
492** Okay, think of something funny, then exit on the laugh....
493*** '''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QCfdKHz7b3c SO JEALOUS!]]''' *SLAM*
494** When Stan and Francine find Roger in bed after being vivisected by Scarlett, the rather horrifying sight is offset by Roger's complete calmness over the situation:
495--->'''Roger:''' (skinned, limbless, and missing his organs) [[DissonantSerenity Hey, can you guys put me back together before I die over here? Preesh]].
496** Stan and Francine putting his organs back in is set to Yakety Sax. It includes them repeatedly slipping in a puddle of fluid from a jar that Francine dropped, switching Roger's head with the mounted moose head above the bed, replacing Roger's arms with skis, Stan draping Roger's face over himself and mocking his alcoholism, and them slapping each other with Roger's arms before making out.
497* "Season's Beatings" may be the best Christmas episode of the show, and that's no easy feat.
498** We start with Roger making eggnog and testing it out on two rats, one gray and one brown. Upon tasting it, the brown rat [[OffWithHisHead rips off the gray rat's head]], makes out with it, wears it as a hat, runs around, pukes blood, falls over dead, [[MadeOfExplodium then its chest explodes]]. Roger [[GoneHorriblyRight deems the eggnog a success]].
499** Stan wants to play Jesus at the mall's production of The Stations of the Cross. Father Donovan gives Stan the role of Santa due to Stan's paunch. Who plays Jesus? Roger, of course, as a ploy to aggravate Stan. It backfires when Stan loses his mind and delivers a NoHoldsBarredBeatdown while screaming about how Roger doesn't deserve to play Jesus because of his disrespect for the Christian faith. Unfortunately, the optics look bad and Stan's words are taken as an insult against Jesus.
500--->'''Stan:''' (Dressed as Santa on top of Roger-as-Jesus, pummeling him) You don't deserve to be on that cross, you lazy wine-loving bisexual!
501** Watching the beating on the news with Steve, Roger gives a play by play:
502--->'''Roger:''' That punch, that punch right there, that's the punch where everything went black, and I was finally able to achieve orgasm.\
503'''Steve:''' (''very'' uncomfortably) Oh...
504** Father Donovan delivers the news that Stan has been excommunicated from every branch of Christianity for attacking Roger-as-Jesus. He does feel bad as he tells Stan he personally thought the attack was "really funny."
505** Jeff adopts a young boy, Nemo, on a whim. Hayley is initially against the idea, but Francine is overjoyed. She thought she would only get a grandchild if Steve was raped by a confused lesbian. When she tells Stan the news:
506--->'''Stan:''' (Completely sincere) Steve was raped by a confused lesbian?!
507** Stan discovers a [[Film/TheOmen 666 birthmark on Nemo's scalp]] and wants to go to the orphanage to confirm this. He forces Roger to come along, blaming him for getting excommunicated. Just one problem:
508--->'''Roger:''' If I'm to go anywhere I need to — how do I put this? Wipe... better...
509** The orphanage has mysteriously burned down, but Father Donovan finds Nemo's folder. It lists his father as Satan and his mother as a jackal. Then to prove it, there is a family photo of the three included!
510** Killing the anti-Christ is one of three ways to get back into Christianity (the others being finding the Holy Grail or paying $10 million) so Stan vows to due so. To obtain the sacred daggers from the Vatican, Stan gets Jeff and Roger to accompany him. Roger has no desire, so Stan asks him to find a persona that does. Enter Roland Chang, Super Positive Asian!
511** When Stan accidentally stabs Roland in the right hand with the ''seven'' sacred daggers:
512--->'''Roger:''' (breaking character) Ahh!! You dumb son of a...! No wait, that's not who Roland is... [cheerfully, as Roland] Hey! You're doing great!
513** Nemo makes Steve his spider-walking, Aramaic speaking minion. Francine just thinks Steve is being a "pill." Her solution? Tell Steve to make a snack in a hilarious TakeThat to a certain grocery chain:
514--->'''Francine:''' Steve, I just did a big Trader Joe's run. Pour yourself some unsweetened cherry juice. Maybe have it with some sunflower paste on a flax crisp. There's also a scallop shumai that tastes like nothing and a mushroom flatbread pizza that smells like nutsack.
515** The absolute audacity of the scene where Stan mistakenly shoots a dog, thinking it's a minion of Nemo and the aftermath:
516--->''[A large dog jumps in front of Nemo, shielding him from Stan]''\
517'''Stan:''' Hellhound! [shoots the dog]\
518''[A blind man suddenly appears in frame holding a leash and collar while Stan and Hayley remain silent]''\
519'''Blind Man:''' Clancy? Clancy? You okay, boy? Hello? I'm looking for my service dog. Are there people here? Any help at all would be greatly appreciated. I kinda of feel like I can hear people breathing. No? I'm just talking to myself here? Ah, okay. Well, I guess if I stick to the sidewalk, I'll be fine. (Steps into the street, is immediately run over by a car.)
520** Stan fails to kill Nemo, who Hayley relocates. Fortunately, Roger saves the day, as his "pimp cup" (from the eggnog scene) is actually the Holy Grail and he trades it for Stan's return to Christianity.
521** Where did Hayley relocate Nemo? With Sarah Palin in Alaska, naturally.
522* In "The Unbrave One", Francine takes several online pregnancy tests from a shady gynecologist named Dr. Vadgers, most of which involve naked close-ups. TheStinger of the episode reveals that "Dr. Vadgers" is actually [[WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy Quagmire]].
523* The ending to "Old Stan in the Mountain" -- Stan breaks the hex that was put on him and appears to be returning to his normal age... only to find that he's suddenly turned into a young black man.
524-->'''Hayley''': Okay, dad, think. When was your last interaction with a black person?\
525'''Stan''': It was at the T-Mobile store, aaaand it was not positive.
526** The sequence where he falls off the top of Mount Kilimanjaro.
527** After mishearing Steve and Hayley and misinterpreting what they was saying, thinking they plan to kill Stan, he attempts to kill them both. He attempts to murder Steve whilst he's asleep, and he sneaks into Steve's tent, raises a knife...and then cuts to Stan sleeping in that pose. Moments later he attempts to kill them both by dousing them with lighter fluid and setting them ablaze. He pulls out a lighter, lights it up...and cut to him having fallen asleep and the lighter all burnt out.
528** Also the end to the same episode's subplot. As Roger drives himself and Francine home, Francine asks Roger to pull over so she can perform the dance move she failed earlier in the episode. After pulling it off successfully, Francine, fed up of Roger's constant lies that got her humiliated earlier, gives Roger [[ATasteOfTheirOwnMedicine a taste of his own medicine]] by admitting she hasn't been entirely truthful with him, and admits she only wanted to do the move so she could throw him off the cliff they're next to, which she proceeds to do.
529--->'''Francine''': Roger, I haven't been entirely truthful with you. ''[Roger's face falls]'' The only reason I wanted to do the move is so I COULD DO THIS! ''[she throws him off the cliff]''\
530'''Roger''': I HAVE THE CAR KEYS IN MY POCKET, YOU STUPID BIIIIIITTTTTCCCCHHH!!!!
531* In "The Wrestler", Stan somehow gives an old man back his mobility, and outside are two guys carrying a SheetOfGlass. One of them {{lampshade|Hanging}}s how people always hold them vertically, so they hold it horizontally and the old man runs into it and [[HalfTheManHeUsedToBe gets split in half]], then a legless guy on a skateboard [[RuleOfFunny takes his severed legs and runs off]].
532** Roger, as Russian high school wrestler [[PunnyName Crotch Lickmeoff]], doing a terrible job at preventing Barry from beating Stan's wrestling record... because he thinks it's OppositeDay.
533--->'''Roger''': I can't, I have really weak legs!\
534'''Stan''': No, you don't, you have the opposite!\
535'''Roger''': I know, today's OppositeDay!\
536'''Stan''': No, it's not!\
537'''Roger''': That means it is!\
538'''Stan''': I'm not playing!\
539'''Roger''': That means you are!\
540'''Stan''': Damnit, Roger, just pin him before [[TalkingIsAFreeAction the referee stops politely waiting for us to finish our conversation]]!
541** Stan's attempt at making an apple pie:
542--->'''Stan:''' And I don't know the recipe for apple pie, but that didn't stop me from making one.\
543''[pans to three oven-baked apples in a pie tin sitting on a windowsill]''
544* In "Stan's Best Friend", after Stan puts [[CameBackWrong Kisses]] [[MercyKill out of his misery]] by blowing him up, he goes to Dog Heaven with Freddy, Stan's first dog from when he was a kid. While they're driving a boat, Freddy kills a [[KrakenAndLeviathan leviathan]] with an RPG, telling Kisses that he has to deal with them occasionally.
545* The weird hobo guy from "Less Money, More Problems" is ''easily'' the funniest thing in the episode.
546** "This world never ceases to AMAZE and INSPIRE me!"
547** The scene at the Ferrari dealership, where Roger quotes Creator/AlPacino's lines from a similar scene in ''Film/ScentOfAWoman'', much to the salesman's bewilderment.
548--->"Okay, I feel like you're quoting something. I don't feel like I'm in on the joke though."
549** And once they get the car, Roger tells Steve to find some kickass driving music. The genre they pick? Ragtime.
550* "GLOW STICK DANCE!"
551* From "Ricky Spanish": '''Klaus:''' ''(head suddenly fills majority of screen)'' HA!! I made it into the episode!! PAY ME, BITCHES!!
552** '''Hayley:''' ''(pops in right after)'' Ha ha, me too!
553[[/folder]]
554
555[[folder:Season 8]]
556* The blunt way Music/CeeLoGreen states the episode is over in "Hot Water" after [[DownerEnding Stan succumbs to his injuries before he can defeat the hot tub]].
557-->'''Cee Lo Green:''' Well, there you have it. That's our story. Stan's dead. Good night!
558* Stan getting beat up by an inflatable man in "Love, AD Style".
559-->'''Stan:''' What ''are'' you?!
560* In "American Stepdad" when Steve finds a script for an unreleased ''[[Film/TheFastAndTheFurious Fast and the Furious]]'' movie, only to discover that the majority of the scenes are hardcore gay pornography. Then they later find out that ALL the ''Fast and the Furious'' movies start out as hardcore gay porn but get edited down to the finished product to get the sexual tension between the main characters right (except in France, where it's shown uncut and uncensored).
561** "Dom stands behind a bent-over Brian and Tokyo Drifts into his...huh, and that goes on for like ten more pages."
562** After Roger fixes the settings on Stan's mower, allowing him to cut the grass in straight lines.
563--->'''Stan:''' Well, I'll be a monkey's uncle.
564--->''(A baby monkey wearing a red baseball cap suddenly appears and hugs Stan's leg)''
565--->'''Monkey:''' ''(translated excited chatter)'' You will?!
566--->'''Stan:''' No, stop. Listen, little monkey. This is hard to explain, but sometimes grownups use expressions that they don't really mean.
567--->'''Monkey:''' ''(translated sad chatter)'' But I'm all alone. My parents died in a car accident.
568--->'''Stan:''' I know. I was there. I was driving the other car.
569--->''(Dramatic closeup as the monkey reacts in horror)''
570* "Adventures in Hayleysitting":
571** Near the beginning, Steve tries to prove he's "crazy" by inviting his friends without asking Hayley and making an Italian dinner. When Steve realizes how dull this is, they decide to prove they're crazy by going to Vince Chung's party, leading to this:
572--->'''Barry:''' How's this for crazy? You just won the Super Bowl! ''[dumps pot of boiling water on Snot]''\
573'''Snot:''' ''[screams]'' IT'S BOILING!\
574'''Barry:''' Gonna be a fun night, guys.
575** We are treated to a drunk Hayley ''and'' a stoned Jeff in the same episode.
576** Roger's way of getting home; covering himself in gel and sliding on his belly down the highway.
577** When Stan and Francine's date goes horribly, they decide to cut their losses and have sex in a barn. Beside them, two horses start having sex too. Stan and the male horse actually high-five each other.
578** The sub-plot of the drug dealer ('''warning:''' this is one big case of ItMakesSenseInContext). A drug dealer offers to buy Steve and his friends beer if they buy him the medicine he needs to make his meth. Steve flirts with an employee named Jenny, gets her address and he gives her back the receipt with his number on it. The drug dealer has OCD about receipts and forces Steve and his friends to take him to Jenny's house to get the receipt back. The funny part is when they wake her up and she screams, so when the dealer gets his receipt, Jenny's father blows off his head. We are treated to her mortified reaction.
579--->'''Jenny's father:''' [[MyGodWhatHaveIDone Oh my god, what have I done?]] This gun; I never even fired it before. I heard Jennifer scream and everything went blank and - (''has a complete breakdown'') I killed a man! Who am I to take a life? [[WhatHaveIBecome Am I beast or man]]?! ''[[IAmAMonster BEEAAAASSSt]]''! (''collapses to the floor crying'')
580** On meeting the drug dealer, Toshi says "Holy meth-moly!", which is subtitled as "Jeepers, a meth head!"
581* In "National Treasure 4: Baby Franny: She's Doing Well: The Hole Story", the kids find out about Francine's past and that she had once fallen into a well. Francine says that it's not a big deal. Cut President Reagan:
582-->'''President Reagan''': I'm officially declaring this the biggest deal in the world. I feel like we all feel... stuck in that well with her. It's cold and dark and... and confused. Nancy, [[DidIJustSayThatOutLoud is it normal for a teenaged girl like myself to be so disoriented?]]\
583''*cue White House aide immediately leaping from offscreen to remove the microphone*''
584** Klaus goading Francine to kill herself.
585** Steve trying to reassure her that she had a great life.
586--->'''Steve:''' You made me, Mommy.\
587'''Francine:''' ''(cynical)'' Any dumbass can have dumbass kids.\
588'''Steve:''' ''(gasp)'' Mama, no.
589** [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CEmcP6pciEA Terry getting into Francine's face about what she did with her life.]]
590--->'''Terry:''' ''(whispering)'' Tell us. [[PunctuatedForEmphasis What. Did. You. Do. With. Your. Gift. Of. Life.]]
591** The now-feral fireman who saved her as a child returns to living in the well, but asks Francine to drop a picture of her boobs down there once a month or so. Francine does so, but never finds out that [[CrossesTheLineTwice the fireman had died instantly when he jumped back down the well and broke his neck]]. The episode ends with his skeleton buried under a pile of photos of Francine's cleavage.
592** Francine's desperate attempt at making something of her life before the interview leads her to try and solve one of the [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Millennium_Prize_Problems Millennium Prize Problems]]. After days of work, she concludes that the answer is "6", only for the professor to point out that the answer to one of the problems would redefine mathematics, and not just be a simple numerical solution.
593** What really sells it is Steve doing the robot to techno music while Francine is calculating.
594* In "Twill Ongenbone & His Boy Jabari", Snot, Barry, and Toshi enjoy Stan's talk about Francine. When Steve tries to terminate the phone call, he gets tackled by Barry (''a fat boy!'').
595* The opening minute of "Blood Crieth Unto Heaven" might be the funniest minute of comedy all year:
596-->'''A Completely Deadpan Patrick Stewart:''' Hello. I'm Patrick Stewart, theatre genius. Late last year, I found unsuccessful New York playwright Chester Winkle dead, in his extended stay hotel room. Among his belongings were a hot plate, a stack of Baby Gap catalogs, and twelve ''American Dad'' episodes he had written for the stage in one cocaine-fueled night; they were literally the finest collection of words ever put to paper. And now, we're proud to present the only one of Mr. Winkle's plays I didn't eat out of sheer jealousy -- ''Blood Crieth Unto Heaven.''
597* In "Max Jets," Roger builds a recording studio in the basement so his girlfriend (actually gold-digger) can launch a singing career.
598-->'''Gina:''' ''[singing]'' ''My love is pure, purely for money, money from people that I don't love. Old men disgust me. I'd never love one. Unless he gave me MONEY!'' Hands across America, bitches!\
599'''Roger:''' Now, Stan, I know what you're thinking: one take, no mistake, slap it in the oven, easy bake! What do you think, Jeremy? Is it a hit?\
600''[Jeremy, the sound engineer, nods enthusiastically. When Roger focuses on Gina, Jeremy turns to Stan and shakes his head "no."]''
601* When it looks like Roger is about to take a spaceship back to his home planet, he pushes Jeff into the ship's tractor beam and the pilots unwittingly take him instead. Typical of Roger? Yes. MoralEventHorizon? Maybe. Hilarious? Definitely.
602** The spaceship: [[WesternAnimation/WileECoyoteAndTheRoadRunner Meep! Meep!]]
603* In "Spelling Bee My Baby" during the Spelling Bee championships, Francine and Hiko are about to fight. Then Bah Bah and Mah Mah asked about the championship round.
604** "Wait, you're Chinese?"
605** Then when there were two left, Bah Bah said that the other finalist was a Japanese girl... by saying yeah as if he was interested in Akiko.
606** When it becomes clear the plot is going to be a ShoutOut to Theatre/RomeoAndJuliet.
607--->'''Principal Lewis''': Two households, both alike in dignity, in fair Langley, where we lay our scene. [[SuddenlyShouting SHAKESPEARE, BITCHES!]]
608** When Steve is playing Beetman, Francine takes his controller and throws it at the TV with enough force to smash a sizable hole in the screen.
609** Roger's imitation of Israel Kamakawiwo'ole.
610** The ending where Steve and Akiko attempt to deliberately lose by spelling increasingly longer words, including spelling the titles of Creator/TylerPerry movies.
611--->'''Judge''': Akiko, spell 'A'.\
612'''Akiko''': Seven!
613** Hiko asking Toshi why he speaks Japanese when ''she'' doesn't even speak Japanese.
614* "The Missing Kink" contains a musical number based on a ''WesternAnimation/{{Tangled}}'' song named "I've Got a Kink". It must be seen to be believed. The same should be said about the scene in which Marguerite and Lewis watch Francine and Stan have ''unbelievably'' kinky sex.
615* In "The Boring Identity", there's Stan's technique to assault an old lady in the supermarket: [[https://youtu.be/WSxwvCSwmVA MEAT SLAP!]]
616** Stan's rendition of "Taking care of business". Made even better with Francine.
617** Klaus revealing that he wrote a lurid, 1930s pulp fiction novel called ''Shut Your Mouth'', about Francine being abused in the bedroom by Stan.
618* Stelio Kontos' return in "The Full Cognitive Redaction of Avery Bullock by the Coward Stan Smith".
619* "Lost In Space":
620** Jeff meeting Sinbad (the entertainer) on the spaceship.
621--->'''Jeff''': Wow, so this is where you've been for the past fifteen years.\
622'''Sinbad''': What? I just got here two months ago.
623** There is a female alien shapeshifter who apparently has sex with the male alien slaves. One scene CrossesTheLineTwice by having a drunk and depressed alien enter her room.
624--->'''Toby''': Hey, can you turn into a giant pickle, with lady parts?\
625'''Shapeshifter''': You're drunk, Toby.\
626'''Alien''': I'M SAAAAAADDDD YOU FUCKING BITCH!!!
627** TheReveal of who broke Emperor Zing's heart: Roger.
628** The Summoner's Song, a cut-down version of Wax Fang's ''Majestic''.
629** [[GroinAttack "Smoothing"]]
630* In "Da Flippity Flop", a depressed Klaus [[SuicideAsComedy attempts to kill himself by]] [[ElectrifiedBathtub dropping the hand vacuum in his bowl]]. When nothing happens, he complains that the vacuum is never charged.
631** Roger's [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h4B6TsZNFGw answering machine messages]] for Steve.
632[[/folder]]
633
634[[folder:Season 9]]
635* From "Poltergasm":
636-->'''Roger''': ''(to a tape recorder, after witnessing footage of Francine's ghost)'' 3:43. Just peed myself. ({{beat}}) Asparagus.
637** Roger dressed up as the medium from ''Film/{{Poltergeist|1982}}''. Also, him trying to get the term "Poltergasm" copyrighted until he finds out it's already owned by a porn studio.
638* In "Buck, Wild", Roger and Klaus go on a road trip to watch Roger's car's pedometer go over 100,000. The car breaks down just as the meter is about to go over, and Roger tries to physically push the car past it but ends up getting a heart attack. Then, when he and Klaus are in the ambulance, the ambulance's pedometer starts hitting 100,000, and he misses that too.
639** In TheStinger, Roger is in the far future trying to do it again, along with Klaus who has since died and turned into a skeleton in a bucket. He misses the pedometer when he gets distracted by an anthropomorphic deer and lets out a BigNo.
640* In "Kung Pao Turkey", when Stan calls for his car, it pulls over and moves toward him as if it were sentient.
641** Stan's attempts at scaring away Francine's parents: first, he dresses up as Franchise/{{Godzilla}}, but ends up setting the costume on fire and is told that Godzilla is Japanese and not Chinese, then he dresses up as the ghost of UsefulNotes/GenghisKhan who he's told is a respected historical figure, and finally he releases a panda in the house, thinking that the Chinese are afraid of them.
642--->'''Stan''': Francine, I bought a horse!/Francine, I bought a panda!
643* "Independent Movie" and its ripping of, you guessed it, independent movie cliches. From the ManicPixieDreamGirl, to the cheesy music and heavy-handed metaphors.
644** Toshi deciding to stay in the cornfield and "become one with the corn".
645** The hitchhiker thinking the group is too weird, and runs off, citing his meth addiction as the cause.
646** Steve smashing one of the Creator/RonHoward LEGO statues to convince Snot to go on the road trip to his dad's funeral.
647--->'''Barry''': ''OPIE!!!''
648* "Minstrel Krampus". Steve has been acting exceptionally bratty for the plot.
649-->'''Jack''': You did what?!\
650'''Stan''': I released Krampus! I just wanted him to set Steve straight!\
651'''Jack''': ''SEXUAL ORIENTATION IS NOT A CHOICE!!!!''\
652'''Stan''': (blink) What?
653* "Vision: Impossible":
654** The disgruntled fired tour guide at the American Safety Museum yelling "Safety...'''''OFF!'''''" before [[GoingPostal shooting up the place]].
655** "You're being fired by a baby!" "That's impossible...unless it was Doctor Baby, the baby who's in charge of the hospital."
656** Steve asking Roger if he's put enough salt on his salad. "Is...is that enough?"
657** Also, Steve forgetting English during the three weeks the family is trapped in the house and developing his own gibberish language AKA Film/{{Nell}}. He's actually faking it, he just made it up because he thought the family would find it funny.
658*** "Flap flap se zap zap!"
659** When the family is cornered in the bathroom by the steroid-bulked raccoon, Stan suggests that they spend the rest of their lives in there rather than risking their lives trying to escape.
660** Mind Quad making his first appearance in three seasons.
661* From "Familyland", an incredibly unsubtle parody of Creator/WaltDisney and Disneyland, something even mentioned by Klaus.
662** The insanely racist slavery allegory of the Brother Rabbit parody Francine and Klaus visit. Francine is horrified while Klaus finds it amusing.
663--->'''Brother Rabbit''': And that's when I realized I ''like'' working on farms for free!
664** When Roy Family has had the entire park sealed from the outside world, the area is divided into four different kingdoms, The Tween King (Steve) and his "army of whiny turds", The Feminist Queen (Hayley), a strange headed man ruling a kingdom of [[{{Zeerust}} futuristic astronauts that are also somehow old-timey]] (Roger) and the Cowboy King Black Stan and the Italian Stallions. The entire setup is on the brink of war when finally pushed over the edge by Roy Family promising to let the last army standing go.
665--->'''Stan''': Okay guys, I don't want to jinx it, but one of the armies is made up entirely of children, so I think we might get through this causality free.\
666'''Roger''': Okay, I just realized your laser guns aren't real. So I have a new strategy, and you're just gonna have to trust me on this: die for me. Die for me. Okay? Any questions? No questions, good.
667* In "Stan Goes on the Pill", Stan turns into a woman and him and Francine attempt to have sex. It doesn't work out, and they tell the kids.
668-->'''Steve''': PLEASE stop involving me in this! I AM A ''CHILD!''
669** Though the scene beforehand counts as NightmareFuel, this is followed up by Stan revealing his transformed self to Francine. The two of them start screaming at the top of their lungs, and after a few seconds, the camera focuses on the bedside clock - cut to nearly an hour and ten minutes later, the two of them have screamed themselves hoarse, and can only muster bored sounding yells.
670** Francine's driving turns out to be just as bad as Stan's - she crashes into the CIA sign and flag in the exact same way he does in the opening titles.
671** Also from the same episode: Roger and Klaus' advertisement selling Stan's suits.
672*** "Are you bigger than 42 regular? WE CAN'T HELP YOU! '''LOOK ELSEWHERE!'''"
673*** "K&R Suit experience in Little Detroit. If you see "God is Dead" written on the side of the collapsing overpass, ''THEN YOU'VE GONE TOO FAR''!"
674* From "She Swill Survive", we have Hayley's current state of laziness, which has reached a point where she isn't even forming correct sentences anymore.
675--> '''Hayley''': "Watcha talking me at?"
676** Also from that same episode, Klaus refusing to let Snot and Steve watch ''Film/DasBoot'' until he has educated them in countless obscure German folktales that are somehow referenced in the movie.
677--->''(Steve and Snot appear in a fairy tale with medieval German-style artwork as Klaus narrates)''
678--->'''Klaus:''' ''Das Madchen'' was taking her beloved Schnauzer for a walk one day when she came across a little person toiling in the fields.
679--->'''Steve:''' Why am I the little girl?
680--->'''Snot:''' And why am I the little person?
681--->'''Klaus:''' BECAUSE GERMAN KINDER DO WHAT THEY'RE TOLD!!! ''NOW SHUT UP AND '''LISTEN'''!!!''
682*** At the end of the episode, they finally watch the film and are able to appreciate it thanks to all the cultural references. However, Snot and Steve don't understand one thing: why the Germans and Americans were fighting each other? At which point, Klaus just gives up.
683** Bullock making room in his inner circle for Stan by ejecting a former member via catapult seat, only for him to have forgotten to add a trap door for him to fly through, so the guy is crushed against the ceiling.
684** Stan describing Roger's bar as classy so Francine will let Hayley keep working there, only for gunshots to be heard from the attic, and a body flies past the window.
685--->'''Roger''': Free drinks for everyone who saw him threaten me!
686* "News Glance with Genevieve Vavance":
687** Hayley applying for a news report position and taking a long trip to the station building, only to discover that they have relocated and placed a very long arrow path to somewhere else...and reaches a ladder leading back into her house to Roger's attic, finding out she applied for him.
688--->'''Hayley''': Oh, '''COME ON!'''
689*** The best part? The whole scene is accompanied by Music/CarlySimon's "Let the River Run" from ''Film/WorkingGirl''. It continues to triumphantly play even as Hayley makes her way through the woods until she ends up back at the house.
690** "Beer Water! Quench your sober!"
691** When Roger offers Stan a Beer Water, it's turned down with the claim "That stuff gives me diarrhea." The angry, seething look on Roger's face is priceless. Shortly after, a commercial for Beer Water plays, with the [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial slogan "It won't give you diarrhea. "]]
692** The tribute video of Steve that consists mostly of Steve's face crudely taped on top of famous images.
693** The rest of the family getting stuck in the kitchen door while trying to run away from Hayley's diatribe about social causes.
694* In "The Longest Distance Relationship", Jeff goes through a wormhole and ends up on Earth 60 years in the future, where Francine is now a zombie (indicated by the right side of her jaw tearing off) trying to keep herself looking young with a horrific facelift and collagen injection, Steve and Snot married each other after both were unable to find wives, and Stan has had his brain transplanted into the body of a gorilla. When the primates of Earth rebel against humanity, Stan tries to join them, but they tear his head off.
695[[/folder]]
696
697[[folder:Season 10]]
698* In "Scents and Sensei-bility", Principal Lewis explaining the school's policy on fighting to the students:
699-->'''Principal Lewis''': You hear that everybody? You get two free fights. I expect you to use them.
700** During Steve’s training, he expresses concern that they only have 20 minutes until the tournament.
701-->'''Roger''': Don’t worry about time, let me worry about time.
702-->''(cut to Steve and Roger speeding down the road)''
703-->'''Roger''': [[GilliganCut SHIT! SHIT! DAMMIT, WE’RE SO FUCKING LATE!]]
704** Snot's karate instructor, Sensei Dan. He lives in his dojo, which is named after Vice President ([[UnintentionalPeriodPiece at the time this episode was released]]) UsefulNotes/JoeBiden, steals wifi from the H&R Block next door, and argues with Roger over not paying his HBO Go subscription because he watched ''Water for Elephants''. Also, he teaches his students to draw on their anger, which is all based on pathetically small issues. One student has rich parents and he feels guilty about his white privilege, and one girl is mad about having varicose veins on her legs.
705** Steve has Roger train him in karate, and assumes all the menial tasks Roger has him do are karate moves like in ''Film/TheKarateKid''. It's not; he just made Steve give him a back massage and a martini.
706* The B-plot of "Big Stan on Campus" of the rest of the Smiths turning the house into a bed and breakfast while Stan is away ends with an insane asylum escapee defecating all over Steve's room offscreen. The end credits are played over Steve describing how the guy was very thorough with it:
707-->'''Steve''': Oh, God! It's between the mattress and the box spring! It's smushed into the outlets! It's under the carpet! It's in my DVD tray! It's trying to play it! It's where the batteries are supposed to be inside my smoke detector! It's between every page of my books! It looks like my pillow is in my pillowcase, but it is not! ''(dumps crap out of his pillowcase)''
708** The fact that the aforementioned asylum patient is played by none other than Creator/StephenFry makes it all the funnier.
709* "Now and Gwen": Gwen and Francine lighting up a cigarette, in a gasoline-soaked area after preventing Gwen from burning down the school and framing Francine.
710-->'''Francine''': *Running away from the school being burned down* Why does this keep happening to us?
711** When Gwen arrives, Stan and Steve excitedly leapfrog down the stairs, only to wait several seconds before she actually walks through the door.
712--->'''Stan''': I thought you said Gwen was here!
713* "Dreaming of a White Porsche Christmas":
714-->'''Stan''': Okay, I learned my damn lesson, Lewis has my shit and I want it back.\
715'''Roger''': Not sure you have. You're calling your family shit.
716* "[=LGBSteve=]":
717-->"AND I'M DEVIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN~~~!!"
718* In "Morning Mimosa", after Stan thinks he can make people disappear with a finger flip, he sits on Bullock's chair in the CIA, with Bullock still sitting on it. He then says he needs to get a [[SomethingElseAlsoRises "less erect chair"]] while Bullock just smiles.
719** In the talk show that Steve was in after learning to cook, he tells them he had a mother (after claiming to be an orphan). The result:
720--->"You have a mother? Who fact-checked this shit?"
721* "My Affair Lady":
722-->'''Klaus''': Elsa was my first love. We met at university.\
723'''Roger''': You mean you met in ''college.'' You're in the States now. Say it the right way.\
724'''Klaus''': So Elsa and I met ''AT. UNIVERSITY.''\
725'''Roger''': [[LargeHam OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHH I HATE IT!!]]
726** This leads to recounting how [[https://youtu.be/aWpoTkEO03o Klaus found her doing the entire East German Bobsled team.]]
727** Klaus tries to call his old ex and after the answering machine finishes its recording, he then tells this:
728--->"Hello, this is for Hans Jr., your mother's a slut."
729** One of Hayley's coworkers has a strange fear of her car blowing up. Later in the episode, her car suddenly explodes when she starts it, killing her and [[TheFriendNobodyLikes Andrew, the guy everybody else in the office hates]]. [[AndThereWasMuchRejoicing All the office workers cheer.]]
730* "A Star Is Reborn":
731** Stan slips on some marbles on the Hollywood Walk Of Fame and meets an old actress who believes he is the reincarnated soul of her dead husband, who was a silent film comedian, and slipped around in the same fashion, but never fell down. Turns out she's been coming to the Walk of Fame for 50 years, and pouring out marbles hoping to find another person who can slip like that, but everyone up to Stan just fell down and broke their pelvis.
732** The horrible Spider-Man impersonator, who's not only fat, but his costume is BROWN, who charges people a dollar to beat him up.
733** The disgusting old-timey foods the dead comedian used to love that Stan turns out to enjoy too, such as pork in gelatin and cottage cheese served in a cantaloupe.
734*** Stan asks if he should eat the cantaloupe. The actress says that her husband would only eat the cantaloupe if he wanted to ravish her, and Stan abruptly declares [[NoJustNoReaction he will not eat the cantaloupe]].
735** The elderly film producer having an affair with the elderly maid.
736** When Stan and Francine are drowned in the ocean, Stan mutters in his sleep, "Thank you for electing me the mayor of Circuit City..."
737* "Manhattan Magical Mystery Tour"
738** Francine getting kidnapped turns out to have been a ploy by Roger for his and Steve's characters Wheels and The Legman to get a book deal with mystery writer Creator/JamesPatterson, only for her to ''actually'' get kidnapped, and the culprit turning out to be Patterson, who wanted someone who could write simplistic enough to help him break into the young adult fiction market.
739** Patterson stealing Roger and Steve's characters, which he then renames Skids and The Walking Guy.
740** Robert Wuhl forcing Stan and Hayley to be friends with him, and constantly eating potato salad.
741** James Patterson leaving behind cardboard figurines of himself.
742* Stan builds a tiny city with tiny figurines in his basement. DELIGHTFUL HIJINKS ENSUE.
743-->'''Steve''': *after imagining the figurines doing rather mundane things* And this guy's BANGING A DOG!\
744'''Tiny Stan''': Steve, you're killing me!\
745'''Steve''': OH MY ''GOD!!'' *runs screaming upstairs*
746** Everyone's all tiny by the end of the episode. Roger swallows them.
747** The climax that just ends with a toy train clattering pathetically against the model dam Stan was trying to smash, and Stan saying "Aw, shit."
748* Pretty much all of "American Fung", but [[GainaxEnding the ending]] takes the cake.
749** Stan being lobotomized: "You see, every villain is the hero of his own -- apple, cinnamon, monkey, toaster."
750[[/folder]]
751
752[[folder:Season 11]]
753* The ending of "Hayley Smith, Seal Team Six", where after letting a roast that he slow-cooked sit for 12 days, Steve and his friends eat it and [[SurprisinglyRealisticOutcome are taken to the hospital because the pork has gone bad]]. Steve ate more of the roast than his friends, so he hallucinates that the guy who sold him the slow cooker was [[TotemPoleTrench two pigs in a mask and overcoat]], and that the paramedic is one too and the ambulance is pig-shaped.
754-->'''Steve''': This isn't an ambulance! It's a goddamn ''hambulance!''
755** Steve holding off his friends with a ''crossbow'' when they get tired of waiting for the roast to cook further. When Barry complains, Steve tells him to tide himself over with a granola bar, and Barry gets furious.
756---> '''Barry''': Do NOT tell me to eat another Nature's Harvest bar! I can't! My poops...they're like drywall!!
757** Before that, Klaus and Jeff decide that in order to snap Hayley out of her trance, they have to find what caused her to become a PerpetualFrowner after she turned 6. Together, they become Fish and the Jeffman, with their own version of the Wheels and the Legman intro, which leads to Roger [[HilaritySues suing them]].
758--->'''Klaus''': Dammit, Roger's suing us for copyright infringement. He says this is like Wheels and the Legman.\
759'''Jeff''': What?! In what way?!
760** The regressed Hayley jumping into Stan's arms, causing him to collapse with a broken back.
761--->'''Stan''': My back! It's the L-5! Must...get to...Vicodin stash.
762*** Roger, dressed like a cowgirl, trying to get on Stan's back and getting thrown off, with Roger crying, "This was supposed to be fun!"
763** When he's without his bowl at the zoo, Klaus attempts to force himself to evolve into a creature that can survive on land. All he manages is to grow a feather out of his forehead.
764* From "N.S.A (No Snoops Allowed)":
765** The LongList of C.I.A failures in the movie on how the C.I.A was created.
766** Steve's dream after he inadvertently betrayed Stan by giving his floppy disks to the head of the NSA: The Smiths are living in utter squalor now that Cuba has taken over America, with Stan suffering a HeroicBSOD because the CIA has been destroyed and he doesn't know who did it. Francine comes in and announces that she finally found food for the family: Klaus, butterflied on a skillet, but Hayley and Roger break down crying when Francine tells them they don't have tartar sauce. Before Steve wakes up, we see a brief shot of Francine at her new job as a stripper for Cubans and Steve wakes up and freaks out over the Cubans taking over and his mind playing out the scene of Francine stripping.
767* From "Kiss Kiss Cam Cam":
768** Stan inviting MC Skat-Cat from the 1990s Paula Abdul video [[https://youtu.be/xweiQukBM_k "Opposites Attract"]] and Klaus mistaking him for Garfield.
769** Stan's horrified reaction when he learns that Francine likes ''John From Cincinnati'' (an obscure HBO show), prefers Lycos as a search engine, and favors the Axis powers when it comes to UsefulNotes/WorldWarII.
770* From "The Devil Wears a Lapel Pin"
771** Director Bullock on steroids (the same ones approved by the people behind ''MTV's Real World/Road Rules Challenge'') for the calendar. Stan explains to Hayley that they have to shoot his July picture first so they can let him loose in the woods to work off his roid rage. Later on, Hayley has to chase him down to retake his photos, and he actually is out in the woods, where he proceeds to [[HalfTheManHeUsedToBe tear Jeff in half]].
772** Stan hiring an attractive male model ([[InkSuitActor modeled after and voiced by]] Tyrese Gibson from the ''Fast and Furious'' movies) for the sole purpose to be in the calendar, and the poor guy really wants to be a CIA agent (and even takes on a mission), but whenever he brings Stan any intel, he just goes off on a tangent about how good looking the model is or dismisses his reports.
773** Klaus' "I Killed Two Teenagers" (later changed to three) musical number after Hayley's "Good, No Great, No, Good Job" musical number gets interrupted.
774** Jeff burning the CIA calendar pictures just as Hayley comes in to stop him, then drinking water to pee on it instead of just using the glass of water to put out the fire.
775* From "Anchorfran":
776** Greg and Francine having the same nickname in high school: "Suck Machine".
777** Stan describing his Ideal man if he were gay.
778--->'''Stan''': He'd have smooth, soft skin; long, shiny hair; A narrow waist and wide hips forming the shape of an hourglass; pouty lips; big, doe eyes; a musical, high-pitched voice; large, supple breast-like pectoral muscles. And huge balls. Something you can really grab onto.
779** One of the perks of Francine being an anchorwoman is that she and Stan can eat free food at Loco Larry's, a Mexican restaurant, a privilege which Stan uses for all it's worth. At the end, when she decides she needs to help Greg and quit her job...
780--->'''Francine''': Are you okay with losing your Loco Larry's privileges?\
781'''Stan''': Hey, helping Greg is more important than eating 16 burritos a day every day of the week. Also, my... my colon came out.\
782'''Francine''': What?\
783'''Stan''': (gesturing) My, my colon, came out. I, I looked it up online and it ''is'' reversible.\
784'''Later'''\
785'''Stan''': Oh yeah, it's really easy to come up with clever wordplay when you're not holding in your butthole with a piece of duct tape!
786** Roger becomes obsessed with "Dylan" from the game Dream Phone, whose recording says that he likes pizza and malls. He meets Dylan in person, only to have Dylan tell him that not only does he not like pizza or malls, but "Dylan" is also not his name. Then we get a scene-cut to Roger, blank-faced, in the car with Hayley, Klaus, and Steve.
787--->'''Klaus''': (Uneasy) So... What happened back there?\
788'''Roger''': (Eerily calm, flat voice) We went to the mall and had pizza because that's what Dylan likes.\
789'''Hayley''': (Lifts up the Dream Phone, covered in blood) Why is there blood on the Dream Phone?\
790'''Roger''': He likes malls, and pizza, and me.\
791'''Steve''': (Looks down at the paper bag on his lap, then opens it and peers inside uneasily) Roger... W-What's in this jar?\
792'''Roger''': Dylan was being bad. And now we have the jar. (Turns on the radio, which starts playing "I'm So Excited", while Klaus, Hayley and Steve look terrified in the back seat)
793* The entirety of Steve's send-up to Music/RKelly's "Music/TrappedInTheCloset" in "Criss-Cross Applesauce: The Ballad of Billy Jesusworth".
794* "Garfield and Friends": Snot serving detention for pointing out errors in the textbooks by watching Principal Lewis have a candle-lit bath in his office and reading Steve's sexually-charged school news stories.
795** How much of a LargeHam James A. Garfield is, especially after Hayley gets him hooked on orange soda and ''Step Up'' movies.
796** Francine imitating Stan's voice when she tells Hayley that he's going to get rid of James A. Garfield and [[BreadMilkEggsSquick how he thinks his marriage to Francine is falling apart]].
797* From "Gifted Me Liberty": Stan donating so much blood and sperm that he begins to look like Roger.
798** Roger wishing everyone a Merry Christmas at the end of the episode, only to wonder whether or not this is a Christmas episode.
799** The ImagineSpot of Klaus wearing his Music/InsaneClownPosse shirt to Steve's funeral.
800** From the start of the episode, where the CIA agents and Bullock are exchanging presents in a Secret Santa (or Evil Santa, as Bullock puts it), Bullock receives a BBQ cleaning kit, and believes it to be a torture set of some kind, calling the cleaning brush an 'anal tarring brush'. Then he has a total meltdown when he discovers that there's a missing gift, leading to this gem:
801--->'''Bullock''': I'm going to fuck this fucker in the tushie! Hand me the anal tarring brush!
802* From "Standard Deviation":
803** Deputy Director Bullock's latest suicide mission that Stan tries to get out of doing: Stan and a select few agents will dress up as apes, go to Mecca, and re-enact the scene from ''2001: A Space Odyssey'' in which the apes fight around the monolith (with the monolith being the Kabah[[note]]the large, black cube located in Saudi Arabia and considered highly sacred to the Muslim religion[[/note]]).
804** Roger's blasé attitude as he sees Stan ram Director Bullock's car.
805** Stan pretending to be a radio DJ in his study before Hayley shows him what being a modern DJ is.
806** Roger [[NoodleIncident somehow]] recorded a lesbian folk rock album called ''Roger Goes Down on Lillith Fair''.
807[[/folder]]
808
809[[folder:Season 12]]
810* "Father's Daze" has a lot of funny moments, but the best part of the whole episode is arguably when Stan [[TheReasonYouSuckSpeech pantomimes out everything he hates about the family because his dialogue]] is drowned out by music that is playing on the (recorded) radio (Scatman). From the pantomime, you can tell he's calling out Francine for her sluttiness and drinking, Hailey for her pot-smoking, and Steve for his wussiness and chronic masturbation.
811** The reveal that Stan has been erasing everyone's memories to keep repeating Father's Day for ''six months''. By the time the rest of the family finds out, it's well past Christmas.
812** Even more ridiculous nonsense over at the CIA, this time they're holding a ''fashion show''.
813** Stan's half-assed apology cake; it's just a WesternAnimation/{{SpongeBob|SquarePants}} cake with the words "Bad Dad Sad" crudely written in the frosting.
814** What Stan does to Snot with the memory eraser.
815* In "Ninety North, Zero West", after Stan, Francine, Hayley, Roger, Klaus and Jack (as Krampus) arrive at the North Pole to rescue Steve (who's been kidnapped by Santa Claus), their bus crashes into an Inuit Village and run into an Inuit-family, each of whom are counterparts to the Smith-family (in fact, one of them is a man holding a dead fish, representing Klaus, who's in his bowl, being held by Stan).
816-->''(Roger takes notice of the Inuit-family and sees their similarities to him and the rest of the family)''\
817'''Roger''': Well, well, well, I think I see the perfect cover right before my eyes.\
818''[[BaitAndSwitch (cut to him and the rest of the family holding the fish that the Inuit-family had and standing outside of the entrance to Santa's palace, pretending to be selling the fish)]]''\
819'''Stan''': Fish for sale! Got a fish for sale!\
820'''One of Santa's elves''': Mmm, fish! Finally! Head on in!\
821''(gate doors open and the family heads in, all clustered together and holding the fish)''
822* "Whole Slotta Love" had Roger try to make jokes as a flight attendant, with no laughs. This being Roger, it goes dark real quickly by causing an engine failure and opening the door, then leaving. Then...
823--> '''Roger''': [[LaughingMad Hahahaha-]] [[OhCrap oh, fuck me.]]\
824'''Roger hits the ground hard, then gets run over by the plane while it is landing.'''
825* "The Witches of Langley" has Steve at the cafeteria going over the hierarchy of the lunchroom.
826-->'''Steve:''' Ah, the lunchroom, where the natural order of a school is put on display. For it is here that everything has its place. At the head table are the kings of the lunchroom: the football players.\
827'''Snot:''' They've already gotten more blowjobs than we'll ever get.\
828'''Toshi:''' (Or give.)\
829'''Steve:''' The cheerleaders are next. Upon graduation, they will shed their pom-poms and emerge as dental hygienists. Next, it's the drama kids.\
830'''Snot:''' Ugh, it's so gross that they're always touching each other.\
831'''Steve:''' Then the goth kids, the guys with no personality who always wear basketball shorts, the robots pretending to be kids, then it's the dweebs, the nerds, the dorks, Bolivian kids, and finally we arrive at our table. (Another group is already there)\
832'''Barry:''' Hey, that's not us!\
833'''Steve:''' Excuse me, gentlemen, this is our table.\
834'''Guy:''' Oh really? And what group are you guys?\
835'''Steve:''' We are... uh... [[LogicBomb uh...]]\
836'''Guy:''' That's what I thought. From now on, this table belongs to the left-handed kids. (They raise their left hands)\
837'''Steve:''' We don't have a thing. We don't have a table! We... (he drops his tray) [[BigNo Nooooo!]]
838* The intro to the episode "Bazooka Steve" in which Steve turns up in a package dropped off on a remote island with no real explanation given at the time. The native chief, thinking it's a suspicious package beforehand, calls for the 'bomb unit', to which another native brings in a turtle that slowly ambles over to the box before heading into the ocean, to which the chief exclaims "Damn it, he got spooked!". After the reveal, the same turtle is staring anxiously at a time bomb under the water, trying to decide which cable to cut. As he goes for one, the scene freezes with the caption '''"The Turt Locker"'''. Roger's sudden voice over sums it up perfectly.
839-->'''Roger (Voice over)''': Really? I mean what the fuck are we doing here?
840* Stan's drive to win in "The Bitchin' Race," to the point that he just jumps in a Tunisian man's car thinking it's a taxi.
841[[/folder]]
842
843[[folder:Season 13]]
844* The CIA staff photo by Anne Geddes in "The Census of the Lambs".
845* The spaghetti sauce from "Shell Game" giving the family the personalities of stereotypical Italian immigrants.
846** When Steve is about to be killed by the Order of the Hand and Nest, his life flashes before his eyes...in the form of sepia tone flashbacks of the Smith family coming to America in the 50s as Italian immigrants. These include [[BreadEggsMilkSquick Steve playing baseball in the street, receiving communion, and watching Snot get killed by a car bomb]].
847--->'''Steve''': What the hell is in that sauce?
848** At one point, Mama Francine tries to broker a peace between Steve and Roger, resulting in quite a few egg-related puns.
849--->'''Steve''': I'm gonna crack you! You're gonna be scrambling!\
850'''Roger''': You can't be everywhere!\
851'''Steve''': The shell I can!\
852'''Roger''': That's too many egg things, Steve!
853** The opening scene of Steve and Roger birdwatching.
854--->'''Steve:''' Right now, the height of bird-watching season, there's no place I'd rather be, buddy.
855--->'''Roger:''' Hundred percent, pal. Klaus invited me to his black belt ceremony today. Told him to stuff it.
856--->'''Steve:''' Whoa! A common brown-breasted brownbird.
857--->'''Roger:''' You think that's cool? Check your six. ''Two'' common brown-breasted brownbirds!
858--->'''Steve:''' And coming in slow from the east, eight more [=CBBBs=]! And a crow! And a blue jay! And a Russian spy satellite falling through the atmosphere! It struck a blimp!! THE BLIMP IS OUT OF CONTROL!!! ''THE BLIMP IS CAREENING TOWARDS THE POWER PLANT!!!''
859--->'''Roger:''' ''(impatiently taps his notebook)'' Birds, Steve.
860--->'''Steve:''' A pigeon!
861--->''(A massive explosion occurs off-camera while Steve and Roger remain oblivious)''
862* "The Mural of the Story":
863** Hayley blackmailing Dr. Weitzman by threatening to reveal a photo of [[BestialityIsDepraved him having sex with a goat]] while watching a complete DVD set of ''[=MADtv=]'' (the latter of which is considered shocking to him).
864** The MoodWhiplash between Steve being excited that he's going to be taught by the strictest teacher at the clown college and immediately realizing that it's yet another Roger persona.
865** The end where Steve (now a women's literature professor at a university) meets up with Roger, who is reduced to living in the sewers as an ''IT''-style clown demon named "Gladhandz" out for revenge against Steve because he saw how well Steve was doing on [=LinkedIn=].
866* In "[=OreTron Trail=]", when the Smiths think Roger is dead, Stan, Francine, Hayley, and Klaus all cope with it in their own ways: respectively, growing a mustache, becoming a stereotypical southern mom, getting in shape, and turning the attic into a bodega. At dinner, Stan begins pulling his mustache hairs out while saying "Grow a mustache!", Hayley punches the fridge, and Francine just sits on the kitchen counter while smoking and saying "Missourah!" as Steve gets up and backs out of the room.
867* In "[[MilestoneCelebration Persona Assistant]]", when Stan gets distracted seeing that Roger's not in the car to sing his part of the opening theme, Dick gloats that he's going to take his parking spot. Unlike Stan, he drives his car straight into the CIA sign and gets launched through the windshield.
868** During the first few minutes, one of Roger's personas is a beggar with a sign saying he was born without lungs and is also blind. Stan later has to take on a similar persona with a sign claiming he was born colorblind and is now fully blind and also can't smell.
869** At one point, Roger plays a prostitute attempting to solicit sex. He's soliciting it from a priest, also played by Roger.
870** The scene with Dr. Kalgary and Billy.
871--->'''Dr. Kalgary:''' BILLY! Get our guests a ''La Croix''!\
872'''Billy:''' ''(opens the refrigerator)'' There's no cold oooooooones.\
873'''Dr. Kalgary:''' What?! Why didn't you put any in earlier?!\
874'''Billy:''' You left an empty case in heeeeeeere. I don't ''haaaaaave'' x-ray visiooooooooon!\
875'''Dr. Kalgary:''' YES YOU DO, BILLY!!! Oooooh, Billy, sometimes you just make me SO MAD!!!
876** The Italian mafia wondering how to respond when one of the businesses they protect gets hit.
877--->'''Mobster 1:''' We strike back hard!\
878'''Mobster 2:''' I dunno if Johnny Lasagna'd be keen on that.\
879'''Mobster 1:''' Well Johnny Lasagna ain't here, is he?\
880''(The camera turns to a picture of the mobsters with Johnny Lasagna, who, of course, is actually Roger)''
881** When Stan indirectly starts a MobWar that destroys the city while filling in for Roger's personas, Klaus convinces him to become Ricky Spanish to kill the mob leaders involved.
882--->'''Klaus''': That's right, bitches! Ricky Spanish is back! And it's all thanks to Klaus. Who's your least favorite character now, Website/{{Reddit}}?
883** When he kills the mob leaders, the voice whispering Ricky Spanish's name says "Licky Anus" instead, accompanied by the DeadlyGas cloud forming the words, which Stan notices.
884** To defeat Stan, Roger takes on his Jeannie Gold persona, with the faux-shocking reveal that she's Ricky Spanish's sister. The sequence of Roger and Stan running toward each other is set to [[ItMakesSenseInContext Steve scatting progressively faster in a talent competition while high on performance-enhancing drugs]] before Stan floors Roger with a single punch.
885** After winning the talent competition, Principal Lewis is carrying the trophy and Steve, who is still scatting at incredible speed. Lewis injects himself with morphine before giving some to Steve, causing him to power down.
886--->'''Principal Lewis:''' IIIIIIIIII LOOOOOOOOOOVE JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZZZZZZZZ!!!\
887'''Steve:''' ''(still scatting)'' ''Do-bop, do-bop, heeeeeeeeey.''
888* The very concept of the episode "Top of the Steve", where Steve and Roger run off to an all-girls boarding school that Steve is allowed to attend because of a technicality. It's played like Steve leaving the show for a SpinOff, and back home, two new characters (a vulnerable, yet spunky orphan modeled after Punky Brewster and a long-lost British cousin voiced by none other than Creator/StephenFry) try to take his place at home.
889** In order to stay at school, Steve, Roger, and their roommates compete in a BattleOfTheBands. When Roger realizes they're in a spin-off and that if Steve wins the competition he can never go back to his family, [[SpringtimeForHitler they purposely try to lose]], but win by default because there are no other acts. Then Roger discovers that the show is shot in Canada and is therefore on a low budget, so they try to go over-budget by singing just one note of a [[Music/TheBeatles Beatles]] song (since the catalog of music is very expensive) and it immediately cuts to them getting dumped out of a van outside the Smith residence.
890--->'''Van driver:''' No Beatles, ever!
891** Roger and Steve encountering the different characters trying to keep them in the school: a laid-back history teacher who wants to be Steve's father figure, a cute girl who only dates Steve to make her boyfriend at the boys' academy jealous, a Mexican girl who's at the school on foreign exchange and notes that her performance [[ValuesDissonance will be considered offensive in three years]], and special guest star Wayne Gretzky who tries to sing about the dangers of cyberbullying.
892** The repeated mention of the supposed technicality that got Steve into the school without any explanation on what, exactly, it is, followed by Roger's [[SanityBall increasing confusion]] as it turns out the technicality has a clause and then said clause has an addendum that the headmistress is somehow able to immediately locate when mentioned despite not seeing it the first time.
893** The headmistress's seeming obsession with mentioning Steve's penis every time she sees him, until Steve has to ask if she's never spoken to a man before. It wouldn't be nearly as funny if not for Rachel [=MacFarlene's=] delivery of the lines exactly like the type of stuffy, prudish authority figure you'd expect to find in the kind of sitcoms the episode's mocking.
894--->'''Headmistress:''' Oh, I could hear your little pecker swinging back and forth all the way down the hall. Clanging between your thighs like a church bell.
895** The end theme that reveals that Steve was written off his own spin-off when he masturbated himself to death, so Carla (the headmistress's pet who always says, "You're in trouble") moved to his old room and changed her name to Beth.
896[[/folder]]
897
898[[folder:Season 14]]
899* From "Shark!?", the B-plot involving Klaus and Hayley's friend Danuta - [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bPqwy6gv0KQ specifically his attempts to call her and ask her on a date]]. Easily one of the funniest phone calls in animated history.
900-->(Danuta is laying on her bed painting her nails. Her cell phone vibrates, Danuta picks up)\
901'''Danuta''': Hello?\
902'''Klaus''' (creepy sounding): Danuta.\
903'''Danuta''': Who is this?\
904'''Klaus''': Danuta.\
905'''Danuta''': Who's calling?\
906'''Klaus''': It is me.\
907'''Danuta''': What?\
908'''Klaus''': Will you go there?\
909'''Danuta''': Go where? What?\
910'''Klaus''': Do you eat?\
911'''Danuta''': What the hell is this?!\
912'''Klaus''': I've got the money...Danuta.\
913(Cut to Hayley on Klaus' end destroying the landline telephone, ending the call)\
914'''Hayley''': Klaus, that was...chilling.
915** In a BlackComedy sort of way, was the way Roger (who was dressed up as a shark to make Steve braver), bites Steve's arm off (after Steve badmouths the shark).
916* “The Long March”: Roger [[DynamicEntry dramatically rides in on a helicopter hanging by the rope ladder]], only to quickly get stuck and fall off. And the entire incident happens offscreen.
917-->'''Roger:''' Don’t bother climbing up, I’m stuck. Arms are jelly. So Lance, you were right, I shouldn’t have rode in like this. To be honest I’m in trouble. But don’t panic, panicking won’t solve anything.\
918(Beat)\
919'''Roger:''' Quick update, I panicked and let go. So now we’re working on slowing down a free fall. The tools I have at my disposal are… a bullhorn.\
920(Roger lands [[FacePlant face-first]] on the ground.)\
921
922* From "Enter Stanman": after messing around with Francine's dreams, Stan's shenanigans cause one of Francine's nightmare versions of Stan to emerge into the real world. "Stanferatu" squeezes out of Roger's eye socket, and lets out a bloodcurdling screech that shakes the very house's foundation... and then we pan over to Steve, who is standing in the doorway.
923-->'''Steve:''' I... had a nightmare and was going to ask to sleep with you guys, but... clearly you're dealing with something else. ''(backs away)''
924** When Stan slays Francine's perspectives of him, ending with her perspective of him ''[[TheBlank without a face]]'':
925--->'''Stan:''' Now Francine won't see me as an ogre anymore! Or a dork! Or um, uh... I don't know... [[Franchise/TheSlenderManMythos Slender Man]]?
926[[/folder]]
927
928[[folder:Season 15]]
929* The episode "Exquisite Corpses" features two false opening themes:
930** In the first one, we actually see what happens after Stan leaves the house. Steve sings the "Go to School" before it fades out. Then after that, although the standard 'Roger's Disguises' gag isn't played, Roger does return to the home dressed after causing Stan's car to wreck.
931** In the second one, within the episode itself, when Stan sings "Good Morning USA", Francine, who in the previous day drank so much beer, interrupts it.
932--->'''Stan:''' Good morning, USA-\
933'''Francine:''' No! The quiet version, my head is killing me.\
934'''Stan:''' ''(quietly)'' I've got a feeling that it's gonna be a wonderful day...
935[[/folder]]
936
937[[folder:Season 17]]
938* "Gold Top Nuts":
939** The Smiths arguing about past slights they each made towards each other, even when they're on a plane that might crash.
940--->'''Stan:''' Francine, about our argument before, I booked this extremely budgeted vacation package. It's my fault. So I just want to say, if we don't survive... you also made a lot of mistakes before this trip, and I don't forget that.\
941'''Francine:''' Are you gonna bring up the little Matt Damon movie?\
942'''Stan:''' ''Film/{{Downsizing}}''. You forgot to buy me a ticket, so I had to sit by myself.\
943'''Francine:''' You forgave me for that!\
944'''Stan:''' I did forgive you. I'm just remembering it now. I watched from across the theater while you and the kids laughed your asses off!\
945'''Francine:''' We weren't laughing!\
946'''Woman:''' I don't think that movie was supposed to be funny.\
947'''Stan:''' It was hysterical! Matt Damon was so small!\
948'''Steve:''' It was pretty thoughtless, Mom.\
949'''Hayley:''' Oh, you're calling Mom thoughtless, Steve? You let my [[VideoGame/TheSims Sims family]] fucking die in a house fire!\
950'''Steve:''' I was five! They said the saddest nonsense as they burned.\
951'''Francine:''' Let it go, Hayley. When you were five, you poked a hole in my diaphragm to disastrous result!\
952'''Steve:''' Five? Do you mean me? I'm a disastrous result?\
953'''Francine:''' I like you now!\
954'''Old Woman:''' Please, we're all very scared, and you're fighting so loudly.\
955'''Steve:''' Why don't you just die, old lady!
956** The slang that the family comes up with after losing their memories, which they take entirely from the Gold Top Nuts commercial.
957--->'''Steve:''' ''(after Francine burps)'' Ugh, your rude belch has entered the room like Tiffany's boyfriend.
958[[/folder]]
959
960[[folder:Season 18]]
961* ''A Little Extra Scratch'':
962** The episode's B-Plot starts off with Stan inadvertantly bankrupting the family via his Pornographic Pogs idea going belly up. It shakes him up so much when the episode does start, Stan's so devastated that he doesn't even jump out of bed. He just lies there with a blank stare. The rest of the family is downstairs waiting for Stan to come down in their intro positions. Roger(Who is hiding in Stan's car) wondering where Stan is.
963---> '''Roger:''' Where the hell is this guy? I've got shit I've gotta do.
964[[/folder]]
965
966[[folder:Unsorted]]
967* Francine acting out what life in prison would be like for Hayley.
968* The hilarious scene where Snot, Barry and Toshi twerk to [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8908wLfUcxQ "Wally World"]]. Toshi in particular deserves a special applause. And Barry, who actually twerks his stomach that he formed in the shape of an ass, which he calls his "front butt".
969* Francine and Stan getting mad at the Christ-like gardener for planting tulips:
970-->"TULIPS?! WHERE DID YOU FIND THIS ASSHOLE??"

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