Line #9 Film/MajorPayne


1	[[quoteright:300:https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/Major_Payne_7531.jpg]]
2	[[caption-width-right:300:''He's looking for [[Film/AFewGoodMen a few good men...]] or a few guys old enough to shave.'']]
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4	''Major Payne'' a 1995 American comedy film directed by Creator/NickCastle (yes, [[Franchise/{{Halloween}} THAT]] Nick Castle), loosely remaking the Creator/CharltonHeston comedy ''The Private War of Major Benson''.
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6	Major Benson Winifred Payne (Creator/DamonWayans) is being discharged from the U.S. Marine Corps. Payne is a killin' machine, but the wars of the world are no longer fought on the battlefield. A career Marine, he struggles with civilian life, which results in an assault charge.
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8	However, his commander finds him a job that gets him back into the military: Commanding officer of Madison Preparatory Academy's JROTC program, consisting a bunch of [[RagtagBunchOfMisfits ragtag losers and misfits]] with no hope.
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10	Using such teaching tools as live grenades and real bullets, Payne starts to instill the Corps with some hope. But when Payne is recalled to fight in Bosnia, will he leave the recruits who have just started to believe in him, or will he find out that killin' ain't much of a livin'?
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12	----
13	!!This film provides examples of:
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15	* AbusiveParents: Alex's step-dad punches him for perceived slights and treats him like property. He makes Payne look like a ReasonableAuthorityFigure. [[spoiler: This becomes explicit when Payne makes him back off.]]
16	* TheAce: Stone is the closest to this among the cadets. Despite appearing BrilliantButLazy in his first scene, he's the most talented of any of them at just about everything, and a natural leader. Payne recognizes this, which is why he promotes Stone to squad leader after his most recent plan to get rid of him failed and he owned up to it.
17	* AllGirlsWantBadBoys: Averted. Emily is repulsed and repeatedly disturbed by Payne's vicious nature and overall lack of empathy towards anyone, especially children, leading her to have an angry outburst after he insults her nurturing. It's only after he even attempts to even try to be nice by his standards, despite still being an aggressive bloodthirsty lunatic, and admits how much he cares about her that she grows to love him.
18	* AssShove: The opening battle of has Payne threaten to do this to the enemy commander with his own pistol.
19	* BadassBiker: The kids hire one to intimidate Payne. He's tall, beefy, leather-clad, and bald, and since he's played by wrestler Wrestling/BamBamBigelow, said bald dome comes complete with a tattooed flame covering it.
20	* BadToTheBone: This song is used in the opening credits to set the tone of Major Payne.
21	* BathroomControl: Payne does this to the [[RagtagBunchOfMisfits ROTC boys]] when he has them lined up to assert dominance and berate them [[Film/FullMetalJacket Gunnery Sergeant Hartman style]]. One boy, the six-year old "Tiger", asks to go to the bathroom and is denied... at least until he can't hold it any longer.
22	--> '''Major:''' You hold it, Turd!
23	--> '''Tiger:''' I can't!
24	--> '''Major:''' I said ''HOLD IT'' or I'll break that off and kick it around on the ground!
25	--> '''Tiger:''' (Gasps)
26	* BeCarefulWhatYouWishFor: For the majority of the movie, the recruits have been trying to get rid of Payne. Then, when they finally start respecting him, he gets called back to service. [[spoiler:He comes back.]]
27	* BerserkButton: Payne ''really'' doesn't like men who beat on women or children.
28	* BloodKnight: Major Payne loves being this as his job and points this out in a mature, [[LargeHam hammy]] manner.
29	* BondOneLiner: If there really ''was'' a bogeyman in Tiger's closet...
30	--> '''Payne''' -..."he ain't happy."
31	* BrilliantButLazy: Alex Stone's first scene has him show up late to the drill, not in uniform, showing flagrant disrespect to Payne, and it's all but stated he's done this song and dance with the previous drill sergeants. He's also physically adept enough to keep up with Payne's drills, cunning enough to come up with multiple plans to get rid of Payne, charismatic to the point he easily takes charge of the cadets in their plans over their actual squad leader, and has a spine of steel under it all. It's for these latter qualities in particular that has him slowly earn Payne's respect and turn him into the squad leader, and he eventually transitions to TheAce in full.
32	* BrokenBird: Strongly implied with Emily, as despite her child-friendly nature she is deeply upset inside due to having come off from an ended relationship due to her wanting children of her own while her ex-boyfriend disagreed and left her.
33	* TheCameo: Creator/MichaelIronside as [[spoiler:Alex's abusive and drunk stepdad]].
34	* CharacterTitle: It references both the main character and what the viewer should expect.
35	* ComicallyMissingThePoint:
36	** In the final scene, a new cadet introduces Payne to his "blind seeing-eye dog." Payne asks, "What in the world would anybody want with a blind dog?"
37	** This exchange between Counciler Emily Walburn and Major Payne
38	--> '''Major Payne''': Maybe what he need is for you to pop your titty out his mouth and let the boy grow up.
39	--> '''Emily''': Excuse me, what did you say?
40	--> '''Major Payne''': I didn't stutter, I said "Pop your titty out his mouth ''and stop babying him.''"
41	--> '''Emily''': I don't call it babying, I call it nurturing.
42	--> '''Major Payne''': And I call it neutering.
43	--> '''Emily''': And I call you an insecure, overbearing, psychopathic, edictorial, ego maniacal, frigid lunatic ASSHOLE!
44	--> '''Major Payne''': [{{Beat}}] [[ITakeOffenseToThatLastOne I ain't frigid.]]
45	* CurbStompBattle: When the boys hire a hulking biker to beat up Payne, the biker gets in one good punch. Payne then proceeds to pummel him into unconsciousness.
46	* CutHisHeartOutWithASpoon: Payne informs Alex why he shouldn't push his luck, [[spoiler:though {{Subverted}} in that Alex calls his bluff; it isn't made clear as to whether or not Payne wouldn't or ''couldn't'' go through with it, however]]:
47	--> '''Payne''': I will put my foot so far up your ass the water on my knee will quench your thirst!
48	* {{Determinator}}: After their date, Major Payne gives Emily a bullet, telling her it is from his heart. He means it literally, having removed it himself with a field knife.
49	* {{Deuteragonist}}: Alex is the only cadet to have a full character arc of his own, between his more intense and personal conflict with Payne, and him growing into the kind of strong leader that Payne soon recognizes him to be.
50	* DrillSergeantNasty: Major Payne's training methods include fostering hatred towards himself, mandatory baldness, and a lot of shouting.
51	* DisabilityAsAnExcuseForJerkassery: One of Payne's new ROTC recruits in the epilogue is a blind kid who mouths off to Payne and calls him an idiot when he asks about the German Shepherd sitting next to him (it's his seeing-eye dog). Then Payne makes clear without a shadow of a doubt that he is ''[[DefiedTrope not]]'' gonna give the kid any leeway even if he's blind by shaving him ''and'' the seeing-eye dog bald.
52	* EveryoneHasStandards: Payne may be a DrillSergeantNasty, [[spoiler:but he draws the line when Alex's [[AbusiveParent abusive stepfather]] starts slapping him and demanding respect and grabs his wrist when he tries again.]]
53	-->'''Payne''': You hit that boy again and I'm gonna do more than salute you.
54	* ExactWords:
55	** It's always important to note that when fighting a killin' machine, if he says he's going to kick you in the face, did he say ''when''? One sucker punch to the throat and kick to the groin later, we have this exchange:
56	---> '''Biker''': You...you said you were gonna...hit me in the face.
57	---> '''Payne''': What, you calling me a liar? [''boots him in the face'']
58	** After Major Payne and Emily go out for dinner, Payne gives his date a gift from his heart: [[spoiler: a bullet. That he pulled out of the left ventricle of his heart with his field knife.]]
59	* {{Fartillery}}: The unforeseen result of a LaxativePrank instead provides Major Payne with a different sort of ordnance to fire at his unruly cadets.
60	* {{Fingore}}: In the beginning of the film, Payne dislocates his comrade's finger to get his mind off his bullet wound. He would've done the same to Tiger (who was afraid of getting a shot) had it not been for Miss Walburn.
61	* FreudianExcuse:
62	** Payne tells Tiger his version of "The Little Engine that Could", and we understand why he is the way he is because a fellow squad member was nearly killed when they were outnumbered by the enemy during a battle. Even worse: Emily (who is also the guidance counselor) says she'd like to talk to Payne about his story.
63	** The personal reason why Alex disregards high ranking [=CO=]s and generalizing them as each TheNeidermeyer such as Payne initially prior to warming up to him is because of his abusive disgraced ex-military officer stepfather.
64	* FriendOnTheForce: General Decker is the military version for Payne. He knows that Payne [[NoPlaceForAWarrior isn't cut out for a total civilian life]] (though even he's surprised Payne managed to get himself thrown in jail after just one week out) and made some calls for Payne's sake to try and give him an in back into the military even before he visits him in the jail.
65	* GenghisGambit:
66	-->'''Emily:''' You're making them hate you!
67	-->'''Payne:''' Good! It'll bring 'em together. Make 'em a team.
68	-->'''Emily:''' That's a pretty cynical plan.
69	-->'''Payne:''' But it won't backfire.
70	* GroinAttack: Payne promises to kick the biker in the face, then drops him with a hit to the nuts instead (making it much easier to kick him in the face).
71	* GunStripping: Major Payne enjoys hanging upside down, blindfolded and trying to clean his gun before his nose starts to bleed.
72	* HeadTurningBeauty: Emily's first appearance is enough to reduce the usually composed Payne into a incoherent mess, with [[DistractedByTheSexy good reason]]. Did we mention she was a teacher too? Lampshaded by Payne: "Why do I suddenly feel like a jackass?"
73	* HilariouslyAbusiveChildhood: [[ImpliedTrope Hinted at]] with Payne.
74	-->'''Payne:''' Woman, when I was six I had a full-time job.
75	* HollywoodTactics: The opening scene of the movie has Payne running through a battlefield by himself with no support and no weapons other than a pair of .45 pistols.
76	* IGaveMyWord: When Payne makes a promise to kick you in the face or quit if you steal a trophy, he will keep it. However, he will ''not'' play fair in order to keep it.
77	* ITakeOffenceToThatLastOne: When arguing over the Major's treatment of Tiger:
78	--> '''Emily''': And I call you an [[TheReasonYouSuckSpeech insecure, overbearing, psychopathic, edictorial, ego maniacal, frigid lunatic]] ''[[TheReasonYouSuckSpeech ASSHOLE]]''!
79	--> '''Payne''': [{{Beat}}] I ain't frigid.
80	* ImagineSpot: Payne, while debating whether to take his new assignment or return to the JROTC games, imagines what life would be like if he settled down with Emily and adopted Tiger.
81	* ImportantHaircut: Whether the recruits like it or not.
82	--> '''Payne''': You will dress like me, you will talk like me, and until you win those games, ''you will be BALD like me!''
83	* JabbaTableManners: Payne sucks down his food as fast as possible while making horrific noises. His squad eventually follows his example.
84	* JerkWithAHeartOfGold: Major Payne shoots the "Boogeyman" in Tiger's closet to help him sleep at night and has many moments when he cares for his people in spite of his hilariously mean-spirited demeanor.
85	** Alex has his moments. Even before his HeelFaceTurn, he owns up to having hiring the biker to beat up Payne, but doesn’t incriminate any of his classmates. Also, during the botched trophy robbery, he has Tiger stay behind to protect him from getting hurt.
86	* KukrisAreKool: Payne is seen messing around with a kukri while reading the book Emily gave him.
87	* LargeHam: From start to finish, Damon Wayans is really something to behold in this movie.
88	-->'''Payne''': ''KILLING IS MY BUSINESS, LADIES, AND'' '''''[[PunctuatedForEmphasis BUS! INESS! IS! GOOOOOOD!!!]]'''''
89	* LaxativePrank: The recruits try to do this with Payne's cupcake, and the kid who formulates it swears that it's so powerful it will make him have the runs for a month. [[spoiler:It [[{{Fartillery}} literally backfires.]]]]
90	* LeaveYourQuestTest: The day of the Virginia Military Games, General Decker arrives with news of an important assignment for Payne that'll get him back into active duty as he's wanted complete with promotion to Lt. Colonel, but he'll have to leave immediately and miss the Games. When Payne tries to mention this, Decker points out in no uncertain terms the time limit of this assignment can't be ignored, and that if he doesn't take it, there won't be another chance. [[spoiler:Payne initially relents and leaves, but as he's waiting for the train his ImagineSpot convinces him to give up his dream for the fulfillment he's found at the school.]]
91	* MajorlyAwesome: Major Payne, naturally, is an [[BunnyEarsLawyer highly competent if very comedic and over-the-top soldier.]] [[spoiler:He ends up turning down a potential promotion to [[ColonelBadass Lt. Colonel Badass]] in the end to stay with the cadets.]]
92	* MarriedToTheJob: Mayor Payne lives, breathe and eats the Corps and has great disdain for civilian life (at first that is) and longs for a chance to get back into combat and when he finally get his chance to go back in and help out in Bosnia during the YugoslavWars [[ChangedMyMindKid he eventually realizes how much the boys have grown on him and that he wouldn’t mind settling down and living a normal life so he ends up changing his mind.]]
93	* MildlyMilitary:
94	** Major Payne is a former Marine, but he wears the "smokey" of a Marine Corps drill instructor with the gold cord from somewhere else. This is mildly military because officers don't wear the smokey and the cord doesn't belong there at all.
95	** He also goes to a dance club in his dress uniform, but as noted under the YMMV tab, that's likely the fanciest outfit he owns.
96	* MiseryBuildsCharacter: Payne did this deliberately to mold his students into a cohesive unit. The Guidance Councilor thinks this was an incredibly cynical plan.
97	* NamesToRunAwayFromReallyFast: If you encounter a soldier named "Major Payne", turn around and run.
98	* TheNeidermeyer: Major Payne was initially viewed as such by the cadets, particularly Alex, for his DrillSergeantNasty-ism and tried several attempts to get rid of him. [[spoiler:Alex's stepdad was implied to be one which led to his dishonorable discharge]].
99	* NoPlaceForAWarrior: The movie begins with Payne being honorably discharged from the USMC because of peacetime budget cuts and getting arrested because he's too much of a BloodKnight to be a policeman (which is the first job he applied to, after a period of having a psychotic breakdown at his home).
100	* NoSell: The cadets' attempt to make Payne suffer a LaxativePrank is completely useless -- all that it makes Payne do is [[spoiler:[[{{Fartillery}} pass a fart so powerful that it instantly knocks out one of the cadets]] [[HoistByHisOwnPetard (ironically, the kid who formulated the laxative)]].]]
101	* OfficerAndAGentleman: Payne may be an incredibly psychotic soldier, but he still tries to be respectful to women in his own way. Example: when he tries to become a police officer, his response to a simulated spousal abuse call is to grab the "abusive husband" and [[RabidCop slap him into unconsciousness]] while saying that you don't treat women like that.
102	* OneManArmy: Payne storms an enemy stronghold, by himself, and convinces everyone inside to surrender.
103	* OnlyKnownByTheirNickname: Kevin Dunn is only addressed as "Tiger".
104	* OverrankedSoldier: The commandant of a JROTC detachment would typically be an NCO such as a Staff Sergeant or Gunnery Sergeant, not a commissioned officer. A Major would more likely be a company commander or battalion XO in charge of several hundred Marines. But then, Gunny Payne doesn't have the same punny appeal, and [[FriendOnTheForce General Decker]] does tell Payne that he had to make some calls to get Payne back to the Corps, plus it was only meant to be a temporary assignment until he could find a more fitting post for Payne's talents.
105	* PapaWolf: Don't harm Payne's men in the battlefield and don't cause trouble for his Cadets. Alex's [[AbusiveParents abusive stepdad]] learned that the hard way.
106	* PinPullingTeeth: Payne pulls a grenade pin with his teeth, like the soldier he is. An important detail to note is that the grenade was apparently an anti-personnel/frag grenade, so it really shouldn't blast down a tree, just give it a LOT of little cuts.
107	* PottyEmergency: Tiger gets one during Payne's opening speech to TheSquad. Payne refuses to let him go to the bathroom, and it becomes a PottyFailure.
108	* PunBasedTitle: Major Payne will cause you major pain, on top of being one.
109	* PunctuatedPounding: Done during the domestic disturbance situation where Payne follows every syllable of his "Don't abuse women" lecture with a BitchSlap.
110	* RabidCop: Payne's short-lived attempt at becoming a police officer definitely shows that he would have been one of these: his response to a training simulation of a domestic abuse call is to slap the pretend offender into unconsciousness.
111	* RagtagBunchOfMisfits: Payne's cadets include a SmugSnake [[spoiler:who abandons them]], a BrilliantButLazy [[TheAce ace]], a deaf kid, a fat kid, a very skinny ginger kid who gets REALLY good at pushups, one kid much younger than any of them, and others. It's implied it's in part this way because even the school's own principal doesn't actually care about them[[note]]He calls them "The Green Boys" and is outright confused when Payne refers to them as the ROTC program, plus giving him free reign to do whatever he wants with them as long as they stay out of his hair.[[/note]] and at the games itself it can be seen they're one of, if not ''the'' smallest teams competing.
112	* RealMenWearPink: The only non-military activity Payne enjoys is dancing.
113	* RuleOfFunny: The war Payne was in is obviously Vietnam, which a) Damon Wayans is clearly too young to have served in and b) he would have had to have been promoted much higher than major by the time it's shown he's discharged. However, then ''Colonel Payne'' wouldn't be a good title for a movie, and we wouldn't have that bedtime story scene if it were accurate, so we have this trope.
114	* ShaggyFrogStory: Payne attempts to inspire Tiger with the story of "The Little Engine that Could". However the tale's moral is soon forgotten after the train conductor is violently blinded, the train itself blown to bits and Payne taking bloody vengeance for an old war friend. Emily eventually has to stop him.
115	* ShellShockedVeteran: After a fashion - Payne has a flashback (a common PTSD symptom) while telling Tiger a bedtime story. It is violent, and horrifying, and causes him as much distress as it does Tiger. Despite this he'd really rather be back in the war than a JROTC detachment. This is TruthInTelevision- a lot of war veterans with PTSD want to be back on the battlefield as despite the trauma it's the only place that feels "normal" to them.
116	* ShoutOut: Payne likes making pop-cultural references while intimidating his boys.
117	** The freckled redhead is nicknamed [[Series/TheAndyGriffithShow Opie]].
118	** When Alex arrives in a tie dye shirt and leather jacket, Payne calls him "[[Series/HappyDays Mr. Fonzarelli.]]"
119	** "[[Music/{{Megadeth}} Killing is my business ladies, and business is good!!!!!!!!!!!]]"
120	** At the end, he calls the blind boy "Mr. [[Film/AceVenturaPetDetective Ace Ventura]]", and the blind boy's dog "Literature/{{Cujo}}".
121	** His BoredomMontage-slash-psychotic-breakdown montage after being discharged is a copy of a similar sequence at the beginning of ''Film/ApocalypseNow''.
122	** [[Film/CoolHandLuke "Now what we have here is a failure to communicate!"]]
123	** [[Literature/JackAndTheBeanstalk "Fee-fi-fo-fum! What beanstalk you fall from?"]]
124	** The threat that Payne gives the biker is verbatim to one given by ''Film/BillyJack''. The biker even lampshades it by saying "Don't give me that ''Billy Jack'' bullshit!" before trying to fight Payne... and then gets to terribly regret it.
125	** The idyllic, pleasant '50s-esque music that plays during his daydream about the "perfect life" with Emily and Tiger is the theme music from ''Series/TheDonnaReedShow''.
126	* SimpleSolutionWontWork: After a while of the titular Major [[DrillSergeantNasty terrorizing the JROTC team]] of Madison Academy, they discuss how to get rid of him and one of the cadets says that they should just denounce Payne to the Academy's principal. This is shot down by Cadet Stone, who mentions that the pricipal is a complete idiot (a thing the audience was shown -- said principal cannot even recall the term for the ROTC, labeling it "[[BuffySpeak the thing of the little green men]]") and probably won't care to do anything about Payne's harshness, so the cadets decide to perform a lot of wacky antics to try to force Payne to leave, including [[LaxativePrank slipping him an industrial-strength laxative]] and even [[MistakenForPedophile trying to frame him as a pedophile]] ([[{{Fartillery}} neither of]] [[WakeUpFighting which work]]).
127	* SmugSnake: Dotson is the initial squad leader, but spends almost all his screentime shouting and being something of a sycophant assistant to Payne and not much time actually ''leading''. [[BrilliantButLazy Alex]] leads all the attempts to get rid of Payne (the majority of which are without Dotson's involvement or even ''knowledge''), and when Payne acknowledges this leadership ability by promoting Alex to the new squad leader, Dotson refuses to take part in the planned heist at Wellington Academy by saying "you want to make me look bad?" and that he called his dad to leave "the stupid school". He then ends up on one of the opposing teams at the games and even crippling Alex on the final leg of the obstacle course race simply because he didn't want to risk losing to him.
128	* SociopathicHero: Payne's a bloodthirsty soldier to the core, longs to be in combat to satisfy his lust for killing, butchered and feasted on rat in his apartment, and wouldn't think twice about breaking a child's finger. He eventually becomes nicer, but not by too much.
129	* SoProudOfYou: Payne shows pride in his cadets in his own particular way: "You are no longer turds. You have graduated to ''maggots''."
130	* SoundOff: Payne makes the kids do these a few times. One example being when they complain about the less-than-luxurious barracks and Payne responds by burying them in a mud patch.
131	--> ''Love my barracks night and day.\
132	Won't complain; that's where I'll stay.''
133	* SignatureLaugh: Whenever he laughs, you know something hilariously awful is about to happen to someone. Or already has.
134	* TrespassingToTalk: After his dinner date with Emily, Payne returns to discover Cadet Stone sitting at his desk, beaten and bruised from where the squad had been ambushed by another school's R.O.T.C. squad... because Payne tipped them off.
135	* VictoryThroughIntimidation: In the opening battle sequence, Payne gets the drop on the leader of the terrorists and the latter tells Payne that he is surrounded. Payne acknowledges that, then [[TakingYouWithMe threatens to take the leader with him]] by [[AssShove emptying the leader's own gun up his ass]]. Cut to Payne marching all of the terrorists to prison.
136	* WarIsGlorious: Played with. Whilst Payne clearly takes a lot of pride in his work and enjoys the military lifestyle, the loss of comrades in battle has clearly had a negative impact on him which he'll never admit.
137	* WifeBasherBasher: When trying to get hired by the police force, Payne is put in a training scenario to see how he'd handle a domestic dispute call. He responds by smacking the actor in the scenario repeatedly until he passes out.
138	* WrongGenreSavvy: When asking his Cadets if they would bother to complain about how slippery conditions were if it was a life and death situation during a drill on an obstacle course on a very rainy day, Payne got the response from Stone that it was not one. Payne's response: Take out a grenade and pull the pin, saying that it was now. Predictably, the Cadets panic and run, VERY FAST, with the exception of Stone, who was yelling after them for being idiots and not seeing it was just a dummy grenade. It was a reasonable assumption, considering that fake grenades are fairly common tools in drills. However, as evidenced by the downed tree that Payne threw the grenade at, Stone underestimated just how crazy Payne could be.
139	-->'''Payne''': Who's the dummy now?
140	* WouldHurtAChild: Payne tries to do his broken finger trick on Tiger, when the later is afraid to get a shot. However, in his messed up mind, he was just trying to help the boy. There's also the strenuous drills and exercises that he puts the cadets through. Despite all of this, Payne does ''not'' condone intentional child abuse, as shown in the scene [[spoiler:with Alex's stepfather]].
141	* YouAreInCommandNow: Tiger is by far the youngest of the cadets, but he is chosen to lead the drill exhibition after Stone gets injured.
142	-->'''Payne:''' That boy know the drill like the knob on the back of his head.
143	* YourMom: Payne gets a "your mom" joke in at the BadassBiker.
144	-->'''Maj. Payne''': Know what ''I'' heard? I heard your momma's so fat, she could play pool with the planets.

Context Film / MajorPayne