Line #55 FanFic/ThoseLackingSpines


1	[[quoteright:250:https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/Poor__Poor_Vexen_by_Oriana132_8328.jpg]]
2	[[caption-width-right:250:[-[[{{Room101}} Let's just say it's]] [[Series/LazyTown not been Vexen's day.]]-] ]]
3	Once upon a time, in [[Franchise/KingdomHearts The World That Never Was]], at [[BrickJoke an indeterminate time of day]], Xaldin, Vexen, and Lexaeus encountered a monster that was destroying the Organization by taking their... [[UnusualEuphemism you know]]. Immune thanks to them being "ugly" (a [[BigBad teenage fanbrat]] is in control and clearly doesn't realize that Lexaeus is [[AuthorAppeal MANLY]]), these three nobodies embark on a world-hopping journey to save their comrades, battling the gutless and [[ShoutOut countless pop culture references,]] in an attempt to restore logic, sanity and good humor to the fanfiction universe, all while protecting their groins [[GroinAttack from assault]] by the Semes. Who are kind of like TheHeartless, but instead of hearts, are disembodied, um... you know.
4
5	Yes, really.
6
7	''[[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2903858/1/Those_Lacking_Spines Those Lacking Spines]]'' is a ''Franchise/KingdomHearts'' fanfiction written by Gexegee of [[http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1020616/Organization_VI Organization VI]]. As a MetaFic, it parodies just about every aspect of bad fanfiction. Xaldin, Vexen, and Lexaeus race through {{alternate universe}}s, and encounter a wide variety of FanficTropes, including {{Slash Fic}}s, {{High School AU}}s, {{Self Insert Fic}}s, {{Song Fic}}s, {{Cross Over}}s, {{Crack Fic}}s, {{Wangst}}, and CanonDefilement, while keeping the plot of [[TheVirus Gutless]] changing the remaining members of Organization XIII into [[{{Seme}} shadows]] [[DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything of]] [[{{Uke}} themselves]]. Along the way, it viciously lampoons several other franchises, lovingly mocking everything under the sun in a brilliant, hilarious (and sometimes long-winded) romp through fanfiction itself.
8
9	A 4th anniversary DramaticReading of the fanfic [[http://ggosity.dreamwidth.org/2418.html has been started]] by the author.
10
11	A 10th anniversary re-upload of the fanfic has been posted to Website/ArchiveOfOurOwn [[https://archiveofourown.org/works/16498976/chapters/38641982 here]] complete with author's commentary and historical context.
12
13	----
14	!!''Those Lacking Spines'' contains examples of:
15
16	* AddedAlliterativeAppeal: The ''ComicBook/VForVendetta'' reference, which starts as many words as possible with the letter V.
17	* AnimateInanimateObject: Xaldin's sideburns, which are rumored to have a life of their own. [[spoiler:They do. One protects him from the Ukefication Beam.]]
18	* AntiClimaxBoss: Invoked. Our three heroes prepare themselves to face the Grand Master Fangirl at the top of the Tallest Tower in the Darkest Corner of Fandom Hearts and she proves to be a formidable foe, only to ultimately be defeated by [[spoiler:Fanfiction.Net's terms of service due to her being a year younger than the minimum age requirement.]]
19	* ApatheticTeacher: Ms. Larxene. She spends almost all of her screen time flirting with the class' parents, or explaining to the class why they will never amount to anything.
20	* ArsonMurderAndJaywalking: The heroes have landed on the City of OC, subverted the Mary Sue's intimidation power, easily destroyed Marly-dono's prospective army, and are about to storm his lair. "Agh! And they're throwing their unconscious bodies into my beautiful rosebushes! THOSE WERE RAISED BY HAND, YOU BASTARDS!"
21	** "Organization XIII was not a nice group of sort-of-kind-of-former people. They toyed with minds, they twisted relationships, they used lives as tools, they manipulated innocents, they spread chaos, they captured hearts, they lengthened the lines at the DMV and they commanded Heartless."
22	* AsLongAsItSoundsForeign: Parodied; a lot of characters have vaguely Japanese-sounding gibberish for last names. Sora's is [[WesternAnimation/FindingNemo Wanahakaruugi.]]
23	* AttackPatternAlpha: “Let’s attempt Maneuver 35, shall we?”
24	* AuthorFilibuster: Our three heroes will often speak at length about the different shortcomings and merits of different tropes of fanfiction. As with all tropes, they [[LampshadeHanging hang a lampshade]] on their tendency to do this.
25	-->'''Vexen''': My, wasn't ''that'' [[{{Anvilicious}} heavy-handed]]?
26	* AuthorAvatar: All of Organization VI appear at some point. Gexegee does deserve special mention, as she appeared on the GSS ''Existentialist'' completely randomly, shouted from the ship's bedroom for Xaldin to bring in the whipped cream, and then [[SelfDeprecation got thrown out into space]].
27	* BadassBoast: Jeffiroth's, though [[LampshadeHanging lampshaded]] by Xaldin and Lexaeus.
28	* BallroomBlitz: Aku-chan interrupts Destiny Sanctuary Peak High School Academy Grammar School's Spring Fling Formal Prom Hop to create Gutless out of the student characters. The protagonists interrupt his plan right back.
29	* BeautyEqualsGoodness: A justified inversion: Vexen, Xaldin, and Lexaeus are seen as "ugly" (read: not {{Bishonen}}) and are more-or-less immune to Ukeification because of it, since their supposed ugliness means they're often ignored by some. The Semes, who were created by a teenage FanGirl, actually ''are'' {{Bishonen}} and are working as the villains.
30	* BerserkButton: As Vexen clearly enunciates, “'''Nobodies. Do ''not''. Have. ''Hearts''.'''”
31	** Zexy-poo does ''NOT'' listen to Savage Garden!
32	* BestYearsOfYourLife: Vexen wants to know who "they" are that say that, because he'd rather jump in front of a train than live knowing they were the pinnacle of his existence.
33	* BigBad: The Grand Master Fangirl.
34	* BigDamnHeroes: [[spoiler:Xaldin, Vexen and Lexaeus are rescued from the Mary-Sue Gutless by the revived Larxene.]]
35	* BigNo: Happens fairly often. Riku does this, not once but ''three'' times in the HighSchoolAU chapter.
36	* BigRedButton: The button to the [[spoiler: BETA]].
37	** Xuxastell also pushes one, thinking it would make her the first Nobody with a heart in Chapter 5. [[spoiler:It turns her back into Larxene instead.]]
38	* {{Bizarrchitecture}}: The floating second darkest tower in Vacillating Heights has a basement... despite the lack of earth to house such a basement.
39	* {{Blackmail}}: [[spoiler:After being restored to their normal selves, Axel and Larxene gleefully set up a tea party for their currently-Ukeified comrades and record the entire thing.]]
40	* BlandNameProduct: Mostly averted by giving the actual names of products, but one chapter has a computer with a 'Macrohard Exceed' program.
41	* TheBodyPartsThatMustNotBeNamed: When the Semes take the protagonists' male friends' genitals, the testicles are referred to as the "you know" and the penis as the "that".
42	* BoldInflation: Doubled, with Jeffiroth ('''[[RunningGag JEFFIROTH]]'''). "He was so badass his [[GenreSavvy font was bolded]]."
43	* {{Bowdlerise}}: Parodied with the Gutless' name. Vexen "was going to call them the Nutless, but Disney put their foot down. Some nonsense about not scaring the children and lawsuits, something about [[WesternAnimation/TheLittleMermaid1989 a VHS cover]] or something."
44	* BreadEggsBreadedEggs: Almost all of which are in a single, long paragraph. See LongList below.
45	* BreadEggsMilkSquick: "The Saïx we recruited is stoic, collected, and mildly psychopathic with a sadistic twist."
46	* BreakingTheFourthWall: Too many times to count, but to put it into perspective, in the first chapter alone, not only do Xaldin, Vexen, and Lexaeus bemoan the fact that they're in a fanfic as well as how the chapter seems to be going nowhere, the author even yells at the readers to stop giggling and close their word processors when Xaldin trailed off after nearly gave anyone a terrible fanfic idea.
47	* BrickJoke: The time of day in The World That Never Was, Jeffiroth's choir, pages of blank verse, all of these get set up early to have massive payoffs later.
48	* BrownNote: [[{{Squick}} "I can't see. I cannot see. My retinas have committed suicide."]]
49	* CampGay: Marly-dono and almost all of the Ukes.
50	* CerebusSyndrome: The first ten chapters poked fun at all of the clichés and themes in the ''Franchise/KingdomHearts'' fandom while having what is little more than an ExcusePlot; the next two ramp up the seriousness of the plot (if there was any to start with) while keeping numerous pieces of snark.
51	** In a different manner of speaking, the fic was originally a TrollFic. After a while, the readers and Gexegee realized she had a real gem in her hands and actually started writing it to be a good fic.
52	* CharacterFilibuster: Parodied, and then subverted. Sakura-Rose Sunblossom Orange Juice Annie Marie [=McFate=], as well as all the OC Keyblade wielders all attempt to make really grandiose {{The Reason You Suck Speech}}es, but every time, someone interrupts them. It's a RunningGag within The City of OC arc.
53	* ChekhovsGun:
54	** Paris Hilton's new single
55	** Fishy crackers
56	** Xaldin's sideburns
57	** "A betta." (Beta)
58	* ClicheStorm:
59	** A good portion of the worlds in Fandom Hearts the protagonists visit [[InvokedTrope invoke]] the extremes of fanfiction genres for humor.
60	** All of the Semes the Nobodies come across invoke the fandom stereotypes everyone uses for each Nobody in fanfiction.
61	*** In the first world, Xigbar is a TotallyRadical SurferDude, Axel is a slick snarker [[CharacterCatchphrase who says "Got it memorized?" after every line of dialogue.]]
62	*** The second world features Marluxia as a CampGay creep who pleasures himself to a bee pollinating a flower. Larxene, being a woman and lacking... you know, doesn't get directly invoked and instead is used to portray the "I can make a Nobody love me!" trope, though in the previous world, that world's invocation of Larxene plays up the AlphaBitch qualities to the maximum.
63	*** The third world plays up Luxord's portrayal of a pimping gangsta all about the munny, and turn Saïx's obsession with the moon into making him a (wannabe) werewolf. They also throw Vexen as an uberwhite cowboy, but this only tips off the protagonists that it isn't actually Vexen's Seme, as he is never portrayed as such.
64	*** The fourth world has Zexion being a massive EmoKid in his teen-aged years, and Demyx as a ManChild with the attention span of a teaspoon as the representation for a CrackFic.
65	*** Finally, there's Xemnas, playing up the unfortunate anagram of his name, by making him all about sexualization and innuendo. And evil henchman tropes.
66	* CliffHanger: The end of chapter eight has one, and various events in the following chapter lampshade [[ShaggyDogStory the pointlessness]] of these expectedly dramatic buildups.
67	* CloudCuckooLander: Demy-kins, who fittingly rules over the CrackFic half of Vacillating Heights.
68	* ConfusingMultipleNegatives: Prominent from the author trying to explain a Nobody's lack of existence/non-existence, not to mention coupled with a bit of WhosOnFirst.
69	-->"Ah, grammar jokes."
70	* CoolAndUnusualPunishment: Vexen is tortured by [[spoiler:listening to the Series/LazyTown [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZD71JeX4Vk0 cake song]].]] Originally they tried ''It's a Small World After All'', but one of the RequiredSecondaryPowers of a "Part-Disney" character includes an immunity to Disney songs.
71	** It may also qualify as a MindRape for Vexen.
72	* CouldntFindAPen: The inscription of the second-darkest tower and the extremities of the Pyramid Head expy in Vacillating Heights is actually written [[InvertedTrope not in red nail polish, but in magic marker]].
73	* CrackFic: Vacillation Heights changes between this during the day and DarkFic at night.
74	* CreatorCameo: All of Organization VI appear in some fashion, but Gexegee (the actual writer) deserves special mention. She wrote herself in as calling for Xaldin from the bedroom, asking him to bring more whipped cream, and [[SelfDeprecation then being thrown out into space.]]
75	* CurseCutShort: “Oh shi-”, despite the prevalence of non-cut curses.
76	* DeadpanSnarker: Lexaeus takes this role, despite the fact that Vexen is one in canon. Then again, this fic isn't known for its adherence to canon...
77	* DeathIsDramatic: Zexy-poo asks for a dramatic death. He doesn't get to complete his speech before he is turned into a purple blob of you-know.
78	* DeconstructionFic: It's hard to wonder what this fic ''doesn't'' deconstruct.
79	* ADegreeInUseless: Ms. Larxene has a doctorate in philosophy, but learned too late that all it qualified her for was teaching language arts at [[HighSchoolAU Destiny Sanctuary Peak High School Academy Grammar School.]]
80	* DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment- Coupled with PurpleProse, descriptions of Copycat Sues describe colors as cornsilk yellow platinum amber blonde and sapphire cobalt aquamarine cornflower silk lily midnight blue.
81	* DesignatedVillain: [[invoked]] In Inept Crossings, Lexaeus meets Manga/{{Inuyasha}}, who is baffled as to why Lexaeus doesn't want to antagonize him, and in fact, orders him to do under the fear of Inept Crossing's ruling Semes.
82	* DeusExMachina:
83	** The DEM engines, literal engines that create deus ex machinae, which the Nobodies repurposed for a specific gummi ship because it made things too easy, and said gummi ship just happens to be the one our heroes use to journey into Fandom Hearts.
84	-->[[LampshadeHanging Or perhaps that was just another deus ex machina.]]
85	** And later, [[spoiler:the BETA]].
86	*** To explain: Roxas and Xaldin were rescued by [[spoiler:the VideoGame/EliteBeatAgents]].
87	* DiabolusExMachina: The only reason everyone turned against Riku in the HighSchoolAU was because a little bit of spittle lodged itself in his throat when he tried to explain that he would give Sora a kick ("In the ass. I'll kick your ass") if he failed to make Kairi prom queen, as it made him sound like he said "kiss."
88	** It's worth pointing out that Riku was already a [[TransparentCloset transparent case]] and did actually intend to make it a kiss if he won, but had to preserve his reputation and his relationship with his girlfriend.
89	* DissonantLaughter: Lexaeus and Xaldin ask Vexen to tone it down. Not because of the laughter troubles them, but rather because the laugh is extremely effeminate and high-pitched, referring to Tatsuya Kando's high-pitched laughter in the original GBA versions of ''VideoGame/KingdomHeartsChainOfMemories'' prior to being recast and his laughter dropping significantly.
90	* TheDragon: Mansex. The uke actually spends time reading a book called "Toadying for the Final Boss For Fun And Profit".
91	* DramaticWind: Lampshaded in the text, describing it as improbably slow-falling and dramatic.
92	* {{Duck}}: Inverted, as The Llama Song reference ends one verse with the animal, though when applied to the giant, shapeshifting llama-thing the protagonists encounter, Vexen exclaims "duck" to warn of the giant blade that is just about to swing over their heads.
93	* EEqualsMCHammer: Vexen scribbles on a chalkboard in this manner to explain his two theories of how Xaldin and Roxas remained safe after the ResetButton.
94	* EmoTeen: Zexy-poo.
95	* EvilDuo: Each world has two chief Ukes for the trio to take down. Destiny High has Xiggy-Kun and Aku-chan, The City of OC has Marley-Dono and Xuxastell, Inept Crossings has Homie G Luxory and Secks, Vacillating Heights has Zexy-poo and Demykins, and finally, Los Machosexos has Mansex and the Grand Master Fangirl herself.
96	* EvilTowerOfOminousness: The darkest tower in Fandom Hearts.
97	* FakeBrit: Brought up in-universe in a discussion on Xaldin's English and Vexen's Japanese voice actors. The main trio go off figuring that arguing about their voice actors is silly.
98	* FailedAttemptAtDrama: Xaldin and Lexaeus both attempt to provide dramatic exposition once. The other two members of the trio are not impressed.
99	* FanArt: Yes, FanArt of FanFic. There are [[http://lynxgriffin.deviantart.com/gallery/244526 fan comics]], [[http://oriana132.deviantart.com/art/Those-Lacking-Spines-169486886 a fan book cover]], and [[http://jaubrey.deviantart.com/art/The-cake-is-NOT-a-lie-sadly-136960641 a fan cosplay]] ShoutOut to ''Those Lacking Spines''.
100	* FauxlosophicNarration: Mocked in The City of OC. Keyblade Wielder applicants are limited to only one drug-induced opening sequence, and people who get two are skewered mercilessly by The Voice.
101	* {{Flanderization}}: Each of the Semes is based on a common badfic depiction of the Organization XIII members taken up to eleven. Aku-chan and Xiggy-kun abuse their Catchphrases, with Xiggy-kun becoming a literal SurferDude; Marly-Dono is ''ridiculously'' feminine, and obsessed with flowers to the point of having a [[SexualEuphemism private moment]] with a video of a bee pollinating a flower; Demykins is a PsychopathicManchild {{Cloudcuckoolander}}; Zexy-poo is an EmoTeen; Secks is a literal [[OurWerewolvesAreDifferent werewolf]] (at least, a LittleBitBeastly variation, because [[SarcasmMode God forbid he be unpretty]]); and Mansex...well, he lives up to the unfortunate anagram. In addition, each one is a PrettyBoy, and all of them are gay thanks to the [[YaoiFangirl Grand Master Fangirl]]. The only ones who are different to their usual interpretations are Homie X Luxory, who adds being a pimp to Luxord's gambling portrayal, and Vexen himself, who is portrayed as an ultra-white cowboy. This becomes a plot point, because the real Vexen is able to verify his identity by pointing out that his fanfic portrayals are absolutely nothing like that one.
102	* GayGuySeeksPopularJock: In the HighSchoolAU world, Riku, thoroughly in the closet, ''seriously'' has the hots for Sora, the lovable but dumb-as-bricks jock. He make a bet with Sora that Sora can't turn nerdy Kairi into the prom queen, and if Sora fails, Riku would give Sora a kiss.
103	-->'''Sora''': ''double-take'' What?\
104	'''Riku''': I mean... a ''kick''. In the ass. I'll kick your ass if you don't. Because I'm not gay or anything.
105	* {{Glamour}}: How Mary Sue Gutless work. They don't actually have special powers, but they can make others think they do. It's strong enough to make three emotionless [[SeenItAll veteran]] Nobodies fear for their lives, but it doesn't work on other Sues (a trait which the protagonists use to create a countermeasure).
106	* GratuitousJapanese: Pence's lines, which deviates into GratuitousSpanish.
107	* GreatBigBookOfEverything: The DEM engines installed in the GES ''Existentialist'' get the Nobodies where they need to go and tell them everything they need to know.
108	* GroinAttack: The M.O. of the Gutless, though here it results in {{Ukefication}} rather than pain. [[spoiler:It's also the weakness of a Seme]].
109	* HandWave: Many events that would seem otherwise illogical or unbuilt are subjected to this, or ignored for the purpose of plot.
110	** Well, it is a fanfic, snarking about the sheer stupidity of other fanfics. [[MST3KMantra Just go with it.]]
111	* HeartbreakAndIceCream: Zexy-poo comforts himself by eating Ben & Jerry's ice cream after an exaggeratedly melodramatic fit toward Demy-kins.
112	* TheHeartless: The Gutless are an unsubtle parody of the TropeNamers. There's also the Semes, which are born from the... you know... of the Gutless's victims and embody their worst fanfic interpretations.
113	* HeelFaceTurn: [[spoiler:The Semes, at the end.]]
114	* HeroicSacrifice: [[spoiler: Xaldin]] performs this (instead of previously severing the Gutless-infected part of his body) as a result of [[spoiler: activating the BETA]].
115	* HighSchoolAU: Parodied, along with everything else.
116	* HilarityEnsues: Frequently (mostly to Vexen's chagrin).
117	* HumanoidAbomination: A few of the Gutless the protagonists encounter are very human-like [[spoiler: and in some cases [[WasOnceAMan used to be human]]]] due to being living fandom/fanfiction cliches. The Semes take this a step further, being created by taking the...[[UnusualEuphemism you know]]... from Organization members (who as [[TheSoulless Nobodies]] are an example of this trope already).
118	* HypocriticalHumor: Gexegee lambasts people who insert their Nobody [=OCs=] in ways that completely contradict the rules of the ''Kingdom Hearts'' universe, especially on the matters of love and romance. She then inserts herself trying to seduce Xaldin and then getting thrown into space.
119	* IBrokeANail: Marly-dono, when he slams his fingers on a keyboard, exclaims this.
120	* INeedAFreakingDrink: By the end of the fic, Xaldin asks for “Vodka. Top-shelf. Straight. On the rocks.”
121	* IfIHadANickel: Lexaeus laments over the idea that fanfic writers get the idea that he can’t [[ThirdPersonPerson talk in first person]], muttering about a dime for each instance.
122	* ImpactSilhouette: [[spoiler: Mansex]] escapes the blast of the combusting [[spoiler: Yaoi Cannon]] through one of these.
123	* ImpossiblyCoolWeapon: Jeffiroth gets a seven-foot-long katana. As per usual, this is lampshaded.
124	-->Unfortunately, a seven-foot katana, while cool-looking and certainly intimidating, is just not all that practical for a battle. Jeffiroth was able to attack with it, mostly by spinning around in a circle with his arms stretched out and hoping it would nick Xaldin, Vexen or Lexaeus enough to make them give up their unceasing barrage of wind, ice, earth and stabbity-type attacks.
125	** It's even impractical for self-use.
126	-->Unfortunately, a seven-foot long katana, while badass and certainly intimidating, is just not all that practical for seppuku. What followed was a ten minute display of Jeffiroth trying in vain to impale himself on a sword that was taller than he was, in full view of his choir and Nobuo Uematsu.
127	* InMediasRes: Chapter 10 starts this way, goes back, and ends the chapter at the same time where it originally started.
128	* IncessantChorus: Speaking of Jeffiroth, his chorus sings "Jeffiroth!" every time someone says his name. It even continues many chapters later.
129	* InconsistentSpelling: Invoked to get a horde of {{Otaku}} Gutless to tear each other apart over whether to use Aeris or Aerith (or Vincent[=/=][[GratuitousJapanese Binsento]]).
130	* InsistentTerminology: Xaldin has ''braids'', not dreadlocks. Do you know what you have to do to your hair to get dreadlocks?
131	* ItWasADarkAndStormyNight at Castle Midnight Moonraven [=McGee=]. Then again, it usually was.
132	* TheJoyOfX: '''''[[BigBad Final Bossing]] For Fun and Profit''''', written by [[Franchise/TheLegendOfZelda Ganondorf]] and [[VideoGame/FinalFantasyX Yu Yevon]]. %%% The bold italics are included in the fic itself.
133	** Also, '''''[[TheDragon Toadying For the Final Boss]] For Fun and Profit''''', written by [[VideoGame/FinalFantasyX Seymour Guado]] and [[Franchise/ResidentEvil Jack Krauser]].
134	* [[InteractiveNarrator Interactive]]/LemonyNarrator
135	* LittleProfessorDialog: Lampshaded by Lexaeus on [[spoiler: the Grand Master Fangirl]]’s speech.
136	* LargeHam: Zexy-poo has quite a few moments out of the Semes, who overall act like this during the twelfth chapter.
137	* LemonyNarrator: The narrator is, perhaps, the highlight of the entire story. He will routinely lampshade redundancies, interact with our three heroes, snark and generally complain about the ride he's on, and go off on tangents. Special mention goes to the time he talks about the dark figure standing darkly in the Second-Tallest Tower in Fandom Hearts, and decides that with all the uses of "dark" and "black" that he wants to spice up the prose, and tells the readers to just assume every other color means "Dark".
138	-->...he thought pinkly.
139	* TheLongList: In Inept Crossings... [[note]]After what seemed like hours upon hours of encountering Franchise/CareBears, more whiny and hapless teenagers than Destiny Whatever High School could ever hope to house, [[Franchise/{{Pokemon}} obnoxious children wielding electric rats]] and [[TabletopGame/YuGiOh card games]] and [[Franchise/{{Beyblade}} fighting tops]] and [[Franchise/{{Digimon}} digital electric rats]] and [[WesternAnimation/DannyPhantom phantasmal powers]] and [[WesternAnimation/CaptainPlanetAndThePlaneteers magical planet powers]] and dinosaur fairies and [[Manga/DeathNote magic sketchbooks]] and any number of silly things, Creator/DeanKoontz novels, [[TheMusical Broadway musicals]], [[CookingShow television gourmet chefs]], television lawyer shows, [[RealityTV reality shows]], Series/CSIMiami, fast food advertisement personalities, [[Series/{{Teletubbies}} terrifying crack monsters with televisions in their stomachs]], terrifying crack monsters with beady eyes and no mouths and hypnotic brainwashing dances, pop singers, boy bands, pop singers who solved mysteries, boy bands who solved mysteries, rappers, [[BreadEggsBreadedEggs rappers who solved mysteries about pop singers and boy bands]], and Creator/LindsayLohan, Vexen collapsed from exhaustion in the middle of nowhere, praying to any merciful deity of the Nobodies or any kind of merciful deity at all for the sweet deliverance of sudden death.[[/note]]
140	* LovableJock: Sora Wanahakaruugi in the HighSchoolAU world.
141	* LowerDeckEpisode: The point of having Xaldin, Vexen, and Lexaeus be the protagonists is because they are obscure enough by fanfiction writers to be ignored by the Gutless.
142	* TheManBehindTheMan: [[spoiler: Rather, the fangirl behind the seme.]]
143	* MeaningfulName: Xuxastell's Other name. While she's undoubtedly Larxene, she was stuck into a machine that Sue-ifies everything, including turning her into a fangirl for Axel. Her anagram minus one X? Axel Slut.
144	-->"It's Axel ''Lust'', thank-you very much."
145	* MiddleSchoolIsMiserable: In the HighSchoolAU world, Xaldin, Vexen, and Lexaeus already get a good number of complaints and potshots at high school in general, but their real vitriol for the world comes out when it turns out that the high school they're prowling around in search of their missing colleagues' ''[[RunningGag ...you know]]'' is actually a 7th-12th school, with Vexen in particular ranting about how Even's life in high school was full of bullies, cheaters, thieves, and sports teams taking all of the academic funding.
146	* MorphWeapon: Out of all things, Demykins’s razor-sharp ukulele.
147	* MostCommonCardGame: In the first chapter, Demyx finds himself losing to Luxord at Go Fish.
148	* NeverSayDie: Xaldin actually states himself that "the Organization never says die!"
149	** Which makes it even more hilarious when Larxene appears and (literally) ''does'' say "die" just seconds later.
150	* NominalImportance: Francesca, who out of all the Moo Gutless, survived.
151	* NoodleIncident: Apparently Marluxia dumped herbs in the castle's water supply once, leading to a week of psychedelic hallucinations, referred to as "Luxord in the Sky with Diamonds". What led to that name and anything else that happened in that week is never elaborated on.
152	* NotInTheFace: Marly-Dono asks this of Larxene and the main trio after they corner him. She reassures him that it won't be in the face.
153	* NoFourthWall: The three protagonists regularly are aware of what goes on in the paragraphs above, as well as the fact that they're in a fanfiction and that the author has it in for Vexen.
154	* TheNothingAfterDeath: Present as a WhiteVoidRoom, unlike the CessationOfExistence as the Nobodies think.
155	* OhCrap: The three protagonists' reaction to coming face-to-face with a Mary Sue. [[spoiler: It's actually caused by her powers; once they back far enough away, they revert to being emotionless and rational]].
156	* OhCrapThereAreFanficsOfUs: Let's say it's the motif.
157	* OminousFloatingCastle: In Los Machosexos, a carbon copy of The World That Never Was, which is where the Grand Master Fangirl resides. Also, the Tallest Tower in Fandom Hearts, and the Second-Tallest Tower in Fandom Hearts.
158	* OminousLatinChanting: Jeffiroth's 100-piece orchestra includes this in its music, followed by an echoed “'''''JEFFIROTH'''''!”
159	* OneHandedZweihander: Thoroughly averted by none other than '''''JEFFIROTH''''', because despite looking and sounding like the main man himself, he possessed none of Sephiroth's actual strength, and thus his attempts to wield the Masamune amounted to little more than exhaustively flailing it around in the hopes that it would somehow nick one of our three heroes.
160	* OneWingedAngel: Jeffiroth, in his second form, turns into a seven-winged one [[ClippedWingAngel (though he's easily beaten)]].
161	** Interestingly, the original OneWingedAngel, Sephiroth, had seven wings.
162	* OnlySaneMan: Xaldin, Vexen and Lexaeus all qualify.
163	* OrdinaryHighSchoolStudent: Gexegee points out this trope as being all too prevalent in fanfiction.
164	* OriginalCharacter: An entire city of them.
165	* {{Otaku}}: As a type of Gutless.
166	** And they rip each other apart while arguing over character name pronunciations or [[InconsistentSpelling whether or not the name is]] [[VideoGame/FinalFantasyVII Aeris or Aerith]], or even Vincent or Binsento.
167	* OverlyLongFightingAnimation: As part of Jeffiroth's second form transformation.
168	* OverlyLongName: '''''x-x-''M'''''arley-'''''dono''''' '''C'''r'''I'''m'''S'''o'''N'''f'''L'''o'''W'''e'''R''-x-x'''''. (sic)
169	* ParodySue: [[OverlyLongName Sakura-Rose Sunblossom Orange Juice Annie-Marie McFate]]. [[spoiler: Actually a type of Gutless.]]
170	** Also Xuxastell, who [[spoiler: was created by putting Larxene in a machine that sueifies everyone and everything.]]
171	* ThePasswordIsAlwaysSwordfish: The password in the factory isn't simple, but it is stupid (as described in-universe), being a list of all of the Semes.
172	* PerverseSexualLust: Gexegee for Xaldin, in her brief appearance in one chapter.
173	* PimpDuds: Homie X Luxory wears them.
174	* PlayingTheHeartStrings: Coupled with SorryILeftTheBGMOn.
175	* PlotHole: The story seems to span the length of a day (or at least, some short period of time), yet one of the Semes says that he and [[spoiler: the Grand Master Fangirl]] had been conspiring for months to spread the Gutless to the canon world.
176	* PowerGivesYouWings: The remaining energies of the [[spoiler: Yaoi Cannon]], when the BigBad unlocks them for Mansex, gives him wings among... other garish outfit changes.
177	** And Jeffiroth. While it is true that he went through a machine that turns him into a Mary Sue and that made him look like Sephiroth, he still got a one wing resembling Sephiroth's when he first came out. When he ascends to his second form, he gets six more one wings. Don't ask us how this is possible.
178	* PowerMakesYourHairGrow: Inverted with Jeffiroth: Hair Makes Your Power Grow. And when one attacks said hair...
179	* PrecisionFStrike: Vexen executes one in chapter 12.
180	* PrepareToDie: Against Xuxastell:
181	-->“Nevertheless,” Lexaeus still had his fierce gaze locked on the imposter Nobody as he pulled his tomahawk up out of the ground. “Larxene is our comrade-in-arms and we will not stand for what you have done to her. In the name of the real Organization XIII—prepare to die.”
182	* PungeonMaster: Demykins, with highlights such as [[Music/JohnLennon 'give peas a chance']], [[Film/LiveAndLetDie 'liver let die']], and bringing up a betta (beta).
183	* RealMenWearPink: Marluxia was an example of this in canon (and maybe here too before getting ukefied). Marluxia's Seme, '''''x-x-''M'''''arley-'''''dono''''' '''C'''r'''I'''m'''S'''o'''N'''f'''L'''o'''W'''e'''R''-x-x''''', is most certainly '''[[AvertedTrope not]]'''.
184	* ReferenceOverdosed: It is impossible to list all of them.
185	* RageBreakingPoint: Vexen loses it after listening to Xuxastell talk about making Axel fall in love with her. A weird example, since Vexen, as a Nobody, technically can't feel rage, which he even points out in his tirade towards her.
186	* RelaxOVision: Double-subverted. Right when the protagonists are about to [[GroinAttack test their theories]] on Xiggy-kun, the narrator announces to switch to a description of kittens, but since she has no kittens, she switches the plot to the second line in-waiting.
187	* RiddleMeThis: In the basement of Zexion's floating tower.
188	* RuleOfFunny: If anything breaks the rules of the ''Kingdom Hearts'' universe, it's explicitly for this.
189	* RunningGag:
190	** Vexen's phobia of [[spoiler:cake]].
191	** “Did you just go there?”/“I rather think I did."
192	** Xaldin was wrong.
193	** The little known facts about Demyx the pizza boy.
194	** Xaldin's sideburns.
195	** The time of day in The World That Never Was at the beginning of the fic. It becomes a BrickJoke by the end, though.
196	* SesquipedalianLoquaciousness
197	-->[Vexen said], “Don’t be so worried, gentlemen. We can utilize a Gelatinous Confectionary Transportation Vehicle.”
198	-->“You mean a gummi ship,” Lexaeus nudged him in the elbow.
199	* SevenMinuteLull: In Destiny Sanctuary Peak High School Academy Grammar School, Riku accidentally flubs and reveals his bet with Sora after a song finishes in a party. {{Melodrama}} ensues.
200	* ShaggyDogStory: There are numerous cliffhangers and buildups that ultimately don't pay off. One prime example is when Vacillating Heights goes through the transformation to darkness, and the heroes panic, but then remember they don't have hearts and thus cannot be affected.
201	* ShoutOut:
202	** Direct references:
203	*** Vexen is described as resembling Galadriel from ''Literature/TheLordOfTheRings''.
204	*** Characters are described as having clothing from Hot Topic, wearing Axe body spray, and the like.
205	*** The author figures that the song at the end of the High School AU world's Spring Fling Formal Prom Hop is "Graduation (Friends Forever)" by Vitamin C.
206	*** The narrator suggests that Sakura-Rose has a great deal of knowledge on Creator/OrlandoBloom's acting career.
207	*** Creator/HumphreyBogart [[SarcasmMode certainly pales]] to Jeffx in romance.
208	*** ''Series/LazyTown'', ''Series/StargateSG1'', ''Series/LagunaBeach'', ''Anime/NeonGenesisEvangelion'', ''Series/{{Heroes}}'', ''Manga/InuYasha'', ''Anime/DragonBallZ'', ''Manga/{{Naruto}}'', ''Franchise/SailorMoon'', ''Series/{{MacGyver\|1985}}'' are all mentioned in passing.
209	*** The choices of movies mentioned in The World That Never Was are ''WesternAnimation/{{The Little Mermaid\|1989}}'', ''Film/MoulinRouge'', and ''Film/EvilDead2''.
210	*** Music(ians) referenced are Music/{{Queen}}, [[Music/TheBeatles Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds]], Music/JanisJoplin, Music/WithinTemptation's "Angels", Gackt, Gerard Way, and Savage Garden.
211	*** Demykins's new outfit is described as ''Film/{{Labyrinth}}''-era Music/DavidBowie-like.
212	** Indirect references:
213	*** In the first chapter, Zexion [[WaxingLyrical Waxes Lyrical]] from Music/MyChemicalRomance's "Helena".
214	*** In the HighSchoolAU world, ''WesternAnimation/FindingNemo'', of all things, gets a shout out: Sora's ridiculous last name in Chapter 2 is "Wanahakaruugi".
215	*** Later in Destiny Sanctuary Peak High School Academy Grammar School, ''VideoGame/SilentHill4'' is referenced with Xiggy-kun's apartment room being right next to Henry Townshend's.
216	*** Pence blabbers Music/{{Styx}}'s "Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto" among other musical references.
217	*** Even later in the High School AU world is a reference to the Music/BlackEyedPeas's song "My Humps".
218	*** In the suburbs of the City of OC, Xaldin, Vexen and Lexaeus meet in a [[Series/SanfordAndSon Sanford & Son's]] Hardware and Biology Supplies Ltd store.
219	*** Two of the text guys in the Tutorial World are named Franchise/BillAndTed.
220	*** Jeffiroth references ''WesternAnimation/DarkwingDuck'' and ''Breakin' Two'' ([[OddlyNamedSequel2ElectricBoogaloo Electric Boogaloo]]), as well as being one big parallel to ''[[VideoGame/FinalFantasyVII Sephiroth]]''.
221	*** The dramatic reading sticks an aptly dramatic sample of ''Film/YoungFrankenstein''[='=]s music in for Jeffiroth's orchestra, better known from the meme "dramatic prairie dog."
222	*** Inept Crossings is chock-full of these, as it is a world of crossovers. ''Anime/{{Inuyasha}}'', numerous references to ''Franchise/FinalFantasy'', a Disney canon (''WesternAnimation/TheEmperorsNewGroove'', ''Franchise/DuckTales'', ''WesternAnimation/SnowWhiteAndTheSevenDwarfs''), ''WesternAnimation/Bonkers'', ''Film/WhoFramedRogerRabbit'', ''Literature/HarryPotter'', etc.
223	*** Demykins makes offhand mentions to ''VideoGame/KatamariDamacy'' and ''Series/ILoveLucy'' among the randomness he mentions.
224	*** Vexen's torture sequence is one very long ShoutOut to [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xUwYFT5B_QA this YTMND.]]
225	*** The unseen world of "Voreland" is most likely a reference to [[http://snakesonasora.livejournal.com/2619.html#cutid1 this MST]] a Sora/Riku vore fanfic.
226	*** Vacillating Heights's description mentions the [[MonkeysOnATypewriter Infinite Monkey Theorem]], [[Music/SgtPeppersLonelyHeartsClubBand Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds]], [[VideoGame/SilentHill2 Pyramid Head]], [[WesternAnimation/FostersHomeForImaginaryFriends Cheese]], The Llama Song, Music/CelineDion (and ''Film/{{Titanic 1997}}'').
227	*** Some of the chapter names are shout outs to Music/AvrilLavigne, Music/{{Nirvana}}, Music/BobDylan, Music/TheBeatles, Music/LinkinPark, Music/{{Queen}}, and Music/ElvisPresley.
228	*** [[Series/{{Seinfeld}} Festivus]] was mentioned in chapter 12 as the event [[LethalChef Zexion]] cooked dinner for.
229	*** Zexy-poo parodies LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE once.
230	*** The final 'movie' at the end of the story is dubbed "[[Series/AmericasFunniestHomeVideos Axel and Larxene’s Funniest Home Videos]]".
231	*** The numerous '[[OddlyNamedSequel2ElectricBoogaloo sequel lists]]' reference ''[[Series/BreakingBad Breakin' Bad]]'', ''Series/{{Star Trek\|The Original Series}}'', ''Franchise/StarWars'', and ''ComicBook/MarvelZombies''.
232	*** Demykin exclaims, "ManIFeelLikeAWoman" (original phrase from Music/ShaniaTwain) after being regenerated.
233	* ShutUpHannibal: Several times.
234	-->[Sakura-Rose:]“You’ll never defeat me, you hideous beast, because I represent all that is pure and good and light in the world, and YOU are an evil creature with no heart and I have a heart and it holds nothing but love for ALL LIVING THINGS! And you’ll never be able to scare me, either! My will is as strong as stone!”
235	-->“Really?” Lexaeus asked lamely, and with the slightest movement of his hand, Sakura-Rose was crushed to death beneath two tons of {{irony}} and a gigantic summoned slab of rock.
236	** Also twice with Jeffiroth: the first time with a 'get on with it' and the second by snapping his Badass Locks off.
237	* SignificantAnagram: Xuxastell, which, as Xaldin quickly figures out, unscrambles to "[[DracoInLeatherPants Axel]] Slut," or "Axel Lust," if you insist.
238	* {{Slept Through the Apocalypse}}: Roxas, though not out of pure chance.
239	* SolveTheSoupCans
240	-->[[LampshadeHanging “Of course, this object is not going to be anywhere nearby. Oh no. It’s going to be locked up on the complete other end of the tower, behind six other locked doors, also sealed by ridiculously complicated keys and puzzles. Maybe even pieces of keys and puzzles, which we will have to run off and fetch in the most ludicrous of places before we can even think about getting out of here.”]]
241	* {{Sssssnaketalk}}: Sssssecks ssssspeakssss thissss way.
242	* SuspiciouslySpecificDenial: The Riku from Destiny Sanctuary Peak High School Academy Grammar School [[HaveIMentionedIAmHeterosexualToday totally isn't gay or anything.]]
243	* TakeThat: It's a fic written to mock bad ''Kingdom Hearts'' fanfiction trends. It would be easier to list what wasn't a TakeThat.
244	* TeenHater: Our three heroes. More specifically, Vexen, Lexaeus, and Xaldin all vent their frustrations about how obnoxious they find teenagers to be while running around the HighSchoolAU world of Fandom Hearts, with middle-schoolers receiving Vexen's particular ire.
245	* TemptingFate: Quite often on behalf of the protagonists, and lampshaded all the time.
246	* ThatCameOutWrong: Quite a few of Mansex’s lines give this effect to the protagonists.
247	* ThirdPersonPerson: Jeffiroth.
248	* ThirtySuePileup: Invoked with The City of OC. Nearly ''everyone'' is a Keyblade wielder or prospective Keyblade wielder (including some OCs which actually are Sues). It's to the point that [[JourneyToTheCenterOfTheMind Dive into the Heart]] has a ''queue'' and both [[FirstTown Traverse Town and Twilight Town]] are at maximum occupancy. The few that don't have Keyblades are interviewing to join Organization XIII [[spoiler: actually a ploy by the Semes to create more Mary Sues]]. Unfortunately for them, none of them are as badass as the real thing; even their Keyblades are apparently fake. [[spoiler: Being turned into an army of EliteMook Gutless did nothing to make them more powerful, as Larxene easily demolishes all of them.]]
249	* ThrowTheDogABone: [[spoiler: After suffering through the cake running gag for the majority of the fic, Vexen gets to kick back and relax in a comfortable lounge in Chapter 10 instead of having to fight hordes of Bishonen Gutless like Xaldin and Lexaeus.]]
250	* TimeBomb: Xaldin's sideburns, as well as the Gutless epidemic unleashed through Sora. Both are stopped with the Beta.
251	* TitleDrop: [[spoiler: “Nine Organization members, ''whole and lacking spines'', shouted in unison.”]]
252	** Also (kinda) in chapter 10:
253	-->It was unfortunate for the Grand Master Fangirl that this sickly little idea was not any ordinary idea—it was a being that ''lacked'' a brain, a heart, a ''spine'' and most importantly, it lacked… you know.
254	* ToMakeALongStoryShort: Twelve chapters too late.
255	** Averted slightly in Chapter 1. Gexegee, when describing where they found Vexen, uses the phrase, "To make a long story short''er''" instead.
256	* TradeSnark: [[PurpleProse Overly Detailed Purple Description Mode]]™
257	* TransformationSequence: Our three heroes let '''''JEFFIROTH''''' have a transformation sequence as he changes to his [[OneWingedAngel second form]]. They're well aware they could just take him out easily, but he's beyond pathetic, so they continue attempting to take down Marly-dono in the meantime.
258	* TransparentCloset: Riku. ''Everyone'' at Destiny High except for his girlfriend Namine and his dumb-as-bricks best friend Sora are aware that, in the narrator's own words, "he, his parents, his friends, and their respective grandparents all knew that [Riku] was a flaming closet case."
259	* TravelingAtTheSpeedOfPlot: Courtesy of the DEM engines.
260	* TrollFic: Originally intended to be one, but completely subverted after.
261	* UnusualEuphemism: "...you know" isn't very unusual, but its absolute pervasiveness throughout the fic makes it stand out. Especially considering the... you know is also introduced as being separate from the ''that'' by Vexen.
262	* TheVeryDefinitelyFinalDungeon: They have a checklist of tropes that fall under this category:
263	-->"Let's go through the checklist," Xaldin suggested, one eyebrow raised high over the other as he examined their surroundings quizzically. "Dark skies?"
264	-->"Check," Lexaeus nodded.
265	-->"[[BizArrchitecture Foreboding, overly complicated architecture and/or some kind of ruins?]]"
266	-->"Indeed," Vexen confirmed.
267	-->"[[SugarWiki/AwesomeMusic Epic-sounding technopop and/or metal music in the background?]]"
268	-->"Yep."
269	-->"[[IDontLikeTheSoundOfThatPlace Cryptic clues and references to the end of things, and/or excessively pretentious area names?]]"
270	-->"We have stepped into the Haven of Wasted Epiphanies," Vexen announced, reading from a convenient nearby sign. "Up ahead is the Village of Twisted Thoughts and the Subdivision of Broken Endings. Triple check."
271	-->"Yes. I thought so," Xaldin sighed. "This is a Final World if ever I saw one."
272	* ViewerFriendlyInterface: Lampshaded, naturally, with the [=MacroHard Exceed=] appearance.
273	* {{Wackyland}}: The day half of Vacillating Heights is described this by name.
274	* WallOfBlather: Jeffiroth's poetry rants in [[http://lynxgriffin.deviantart.com/art/Those-Lacking-Spines-pg-5-36099284 this]] comic.
275	* WhosOnFirst: "Nobody or no body?"
276	* WhyDidItHaveToBeSnakes: Vexen is terrified of [[spoiler:cake]] after being tortured with the [[spoiler:''Series/LazyTown'' cake song]].
277	* WordSaladHumor: [=DemykinsOMGWTFBBQVCR's=] dialogue, when he's not spouting {{Shout Out}}s.

Context FanFic / ThoseLackingSpines