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3%% This page has been alphabetized. Please add new examples in the correct order. Thanks!
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6
7It's quite rare to find a TV show that doesn't contain this trope.
8
9Special Note: See the subtrope ServileSnarker — butlers and valets probably belong there rather than here.
10----
11!!General Examples:
12* Creator/{{NBC}} sportscaster Creator/BobCostas has made a career of sneaking in snarky deadpan comments into his broadcasts and commentaries.
13* Creator/ConanOBrien, former-Late Night and Tonight Show host, embodies this trope in regards to talk shows. He'll generally spend the entire show mocking audience reactions, expressing disbelief at the various jokes and bits (usually as he's performing them, no less), and generally ragging on guests' stories. And his remote bits, where he takes the snarking to a third location, usually to make an affectionate mockery of a place or activity. One could make the case that you need to be a deadpan snarker in the first place to be a successful comedy talk show host, but Conan's take on the format has been to rib it from every angle. The snarkiest Conan has gotten is definitely when he does a remote with Jordan Schlansky, one of his producers. Jordan's pompous tastes and unfazable demeanor provide Conan with endless amount of snark.
14* Creator/CliveJames: He is notorious for his dry, witty commentary, both in writing as during his commentary over video footage.
15** Notably, when James discussed something he really admired, or thought was abjectly bad beyond redemption, he tended to drop the snark and become (respectively) full of warm praise, or ruthlessly critical. He only snarked about the vast majority of everything else.
16* Creator/JossWhedon:
17** Every one of his shows has a consistent Deadpan Snarker, who is also the [[AuthorAvatar "Joss Whedon" character]] on the show. However, [[WorldOfSnark virtually every character on every show does this at one point or another,]] as this trope is largely his SignatureStyle with regards to dialogue.
18** On ''Series/BuffyTheVampireSlayer'', Oz is a preeminent example, though his snark was not usually pointed. Before and after he was on the show, though, snark was Xander's stock in trade.
19--->'''Oz:''' That was my sarcastic voice.\
20'''Xander:''' Sounds a lot like your regular voice.
21** Giles also did this a lot.
22--->"I'll just jump into my time machine, go back to the 12th century, and ask the vampires to postpone their ancient prophecy for a few days while you take in dinner and a show."\
23"'Do you like my mask? Isn't it pretty? It raises the dead.' ''Americans!''"
24** The show also has a self-appointed Deadpan Snarker in the form of Quentin Travers, the Head of the Watchers' Council, who twice arrives in town to tell everyone, in quite pointed, deadpan, and snarky terms, what a terrible job they're all doing. The failings of everyone on the team are plainly evident to him, but the fact that he's an authoritarian meanie means that even if he has a good point or two, the audience is free to dismiss those points because he "just doesn't know them like we do." Let's face it, except for Tara ''every'' regular character took their turn as this trope.
25*** [[ZigZaggedTrope Even then, Tara got in on it at least once.]] Case in point: "Older and Far Away", after she witnesses Buffy and Spike together, with Buffy's hand close to Spike's crotch area, Spike claims to have had a muscle cramp.
26---->'''Tara:''' (clearly suppressing laughter) Muscle cramp? In your... pants?
27*** And later, after Spike makes a suggestive comment to Buffy...
28----> '''Tara:''' How's that cramp, Spike? Still bothering you? (grinning slyly) Maybe you should put some ice on it.
29** Buffy herself is also one of the show's main snarkers. She was often slinging some witty line at Giles for being too serious (or too British) or the MonsterOfTheWeek or something else.
30*** To the point where a vampire asks her "Are we going to fight, or is this just a monster sarcasm rally?"
31** Faith likes this. Most of the time it's pretty adult.
32--->'''Faith:''' "You don't know how many men have said that to me." On being promised that she'd get off (the murder charges against her would be dropped).
33--->'''Faith:''' "Just like riding a biker." On getting back into slaying after her stint in prison.
34** Giles' aunts in the Season 9 comics. Faith continues to be one.
35** The caterpillar guy from the ''Wonderland'' comics of Season 9 seems to be in perpetual SarcasmMode.
36** Whistler's quite a sarcastic fellow.
37** Pre Badass Wesley when he was in a playful mood, very britishly so.
38--->'''Client:''' ''[upon learning she's not alone in having superpowers, turns to Cordelia]'' So what's wrong with ''you''?
39--->'''Wesley:''' Where to begin?
40** Cordelia was this on ''Angel'' (until she left). The role was traded off between Fred and Gunn after she was gone, with Lorne providing backup and five-part harmony. And when Spike joined the show in Season 5...
41** The unwillingly good (and unfailingly cynical) vampire Spike has always been a Joss Whedon Mr. Snarky, playing this role in both Buffy and in Angel. His parody of a conversation between Angel and a DamselInDistress in "In the Dark" is ''awesomely hilarious''. There's also:
42--->'''Dru:''' We're going to destroy the world. Want to come?\
43 '''Angelus:''' Yeah, I'm more interested in the Slayer.\
44 '''Spike:''' Well, the Slayer's IN the world, so that should work out.
45--->''[Spike takes a radio]''\
46'''Xander:''' Hey, that's my radio!\
47 '''Spike:''' And you're what? Shocked and disappointed? I'm evil.
48** Angel himself is this at times.
49** Connor, not as much as his parents, but he does have a few great one-liners.
50** Every single member of Malcolm Reynolds's crew on ''Series/{{Firefly}}'' -- including Mal himself. Mild-mannered [[TheMedic Simon]] is a frequent GentlemanSnarker, who doesn't stop even when there's a gun trained on him. Wash is normally more expressive, but gets deadpan even when they might crash.
51--->'''Wash''': This landing could get interesting
52--->'''Mal:''' Define “Interesting”
53--->'''Wash:''' (deadpan) Oh God, Oh God, we’re all going to die?
54** On ''Series/{{Dollhouse}}'' we seem to have Topher Brink as Mr. Snarky. Adelle [=DeWitt=] is much more ''Dead''pan, much less Snark, and Ballard tends to run a little too hot to get in any deadpan. Naturally more than one of the imprints -- a disproportionate number, one might say -- have a taste for this sort of humor.
55** The tradition continues on ''Series/AgentsOfSHIELD'' with Agent Coulson being so good at snark that at times he can communicate snark through facial expressions alone.
56* Martin Freeman seems to specialise in this type of character. Like Tim Canterbury from ''Series/TheOfficeUK'' and his version of John Watson from ''Series/{{Sherlock}}''.
57* Sara Gilbert in any role given to her, e.g. ''Series/{{Roseanne}}'' or ''Series/TheBigBangTheory''.
58* Alan Ereira in interviews and, most particularly, ''Series/TheKingsAndQueensOfEngland''. His retrospective social commentary pokes fun at certain royals with some impressive subtle snarking.
59* Fox News anchor Shepard "Shep" Smith is highly prone to snarky commentary on many of the more absurd stories he reports, sometimes to the point where he is so deadpan viewers are left scratching their heads and going "Wait, was he joking, or..." More seriously, when he thinks someone is being an idiot, he'll break out positively withering snark. However, when a true tragedy develops (Gabrielle Giffords, Aurora, Sandy Hook, etc), this vanishes entirely and he is deadly serious.
60
61----
62!!Specific Examples:
63* ''Series/{{The 100}}'': Murphy starts becoming one of these in Season 2. In a show filled with earnest, altruistic characters obsessed with "saving our people", Murphy's the one guy who doesn't give much of a crap what's going on and likes deflating others' sense of self-importance (particularly Jaha's).
64* ''Series/TwentyFour'': This often applied to George Mason:
65-->'''Tony:''' I need your password.\
66'''George:''' Hendrix.\
67'''Tony:''' Is that with an "x"?\
68'''George:''' How else would you spell it?
69* ''Series/TreintaYUnMinutos'': Juan Carlos Bodoque is a very notable exemple:
70-->'''Juan Carlos Bodoque:''' Do not worry, Tulio. Maybe it reassures you to know that all this is your fault.
71* ''Series/AlexRider2020'': Alex is frequently ready with a sassy comeback.
72** Kyra is no slouch either.
73-->'''Kyra:''' You're like a ninja. A really, really bad one.
74* ''Series/AlloAllo'': Most of the characters, especially René. Helga's deadpan snarking also doesn't get enough credit.
75* ''Series/TheAmazingRace'': In Season 3, brothers Ken & Gerard were snarky towards practically everyone (especially Ian), but perhaps surprisingly they did so in a playful and non-vindictive way. Also from Season 3, Aaron and Arianne were a much more straightforward example in a very non-playful and vindictive way.
76%%* ''Series/AmericanGothic1995'': Dr. Crower.
77* ''Series/AmericanIdol'': Simon is wildly known for his insults and trademark sarcasm towards contestants. During the first season, he was also known for getting into fights with [[TheDitz Paula]]. They still get into fights, but now there's a lot more {{UST}}.
78* ''Series/TheAndyGriffithShow'': Howard Sprague became the subject of one of the episodes for his talent on delivering a punchline in the truest fashion of the deadpan snarker. Because of this, the other characters see fit to recommend his appearance on a TV show. When he uses their names to improve his performance, he gets in trouble because they become insulted by them rather than recognizing them as jokes.
79* ''Series/Annika2021'': Annika is a champion snarker. When she's told that someone from Morgan's school called, she says "Excellent. I imagine she's won a prize of some sort." (She's been caught drinking at school.)
80* ''Series/AreYouBeingServed'': Mr. Harman was a Deadpan Snarker, usually when the other characters started speaking down to him for being of a lower class.
81* ''Series/ArrestedDevelopment'':
82** Michael Bluth. He ''is'' in charge of the family business; it's just that no one listens to him. Often doubles as the StraightMan and the OnlySaneMan.
83** The ''narrator'' is a deadpan snarker:
84--->'''Tobias:''' If this {{tableau}} I recreate, perhaps I can resnare my mate!\
85'''Narrator:''' Gee, why wouldn't she want him back?
86::[[Creator/AliaShawkat Maeby]] more or less turns into one of these as the series progresses:
87--->'''Michael:''' So then he's more popular than George Michael?\
88'''Maeby:''' Well, that's like comparing apples and some fruit nobody's ever heard of.
89* ''Series/AsTimeGoesBy'': Lionel Hardcastle in this BBC show falls under this category.
90-->'''Alistair:''' Can we have a locker room talk?\
91'''Lionel:''' I don't have a locker room, but you're perfectly free to talk.
92* ''Series/TheATeam'': [[{{Cloudcuckoolander}} Murdock]] can be quite the snarker in his more sane moments. His [[BigBrotherInstinct protectiveness]] of Face has led him, on occasion, to moments of snark bordering on downright rudeness when he's dealing with people who he thinks are mistreating or using Face. See "Family Reunion" for a prime example.
93* ''Series/AustinAndAlly'':
94** Trish and Ally:
95--->'''Dez:''' What's the opposite of me?\
96'''Ally:''' Smart.
97** Dez gets some good ones in during Season 2.
98* ''Series/BabylonFive'': Susan Ivanova, although every prominent character gets to snark once an episode or so. There's also the villainous Alfred Bester, who started out as a rather taciturn SmugSnake and began to get snarkier and snarkier as his characterization approached {{Magnificent Bastard}}ry. By Season 4, about 90% of his dialogue is snark.
99* ''Series/BandOfBrothers'': Captain Lewis Nixon, the alcoholic intelligence officer, and (less conspicuously) T-5. [[CunningLinguist Joseph Liebgott]] and Staff Sergeant Joseph Toye. Other characters get to snark as well, but not as often.
100** George Luz gets in the act in a big way a few times:
101--->[After Frank Perconte mentions the woods in Germany look a lot like the woods at Bastogne] Yeah, now that you mention it. Except, of course, there's no snow, we got warm grub in our bellies, and the trees aren't fucking exploding from Kraut artillery, but yeah... Frank... [[{{Dissimile}} other than that, it's a lot like Bastogne.]]
102* ''Series/BarneyMiller'': Det. Fish. Later, Dietrich also fulfilled this role.
103* ''Series/BattlestarGalactica1978'': Lieutenant Boomer from the classic show tends to be one.
104* ''Series/BattlestarGalactica2003'':
105** The modern show has quite a few, including Brother John Cavil and Dr. Cottle with Roslin, Tigh and Bill Adama sometimes getting in on it but Galactica's reigning king of sarcasm has to be Gaius Baltar.
106*** "You'll forgive me, ma'am, if I don't wish to be executed based solely on your 'gut feeling.'"
107*** "As the entire fleet knows, this is the man who tried to stab me through the neck... and you MISSED! Butterfingers!"
108*** "Well that sounds lovely. Maybe one day if you're very, very good, God will reward you with a lovely little walking toaster of your very own."
109** Also Gaeta, especially after he [[spoiler: loses his leg in Season 4]].
110** Doc Cottle and Roslin have their moments:
111---> '''Roslin:''' Doctor, I need your help. But it's illegal, dangerous, and in violation of your oath as an officer
112---> '''Doc Cottle:''' You're a lousy salesman.
113* ''Series/BetterThings'': Frankie's standard comment on anything else is dry, sarcastic, bitter, cynical or generally "I'm too cool for this".
114* ''Series/TheBigBangTheory'': Pretty much anyone who's dealing with Sheldon's anal retentive antics, but especially Leonard, Penny and Howard. Sheldon himself also has his moments.
115* ''Series/{{Blackadder}}'': Edmund E. Blackadder has this as his primary purpose in his different lives.
116* ''Series/BlackSails'': Jack Rackham, in nearly every scene in which he appears.
117* ''Series/BlakesSeven'':
118** Kerr Avon is the king of snark, but everyone else on the Liberator can snark right back -- even Gan on occasion. It must be catching.
119--->'''Vila:''' I've got a weak chest!\
120'''Avon:''' The rest of you's not very impressive either.
121** Comm -- ''[[RunningGag Supreme]]'' Commander Servalan's power seems based on the ability to be snidely sarcastic while wearing amazing dresses.
122** Even the computers get in on the act:
123--->'''Servalan:''' So tell me, Zen, how does one operate this craft?\
124'''Zen:''' [[MathematiciansAnswer One manipulates the controls and the craft functions accordingly.]]
125* ''Series/{{Blindspotting}}'': Rainey is often pretty sarcastic, such as answering her daughter Trish when she asks why she's got to wear pants in the house, claiming the need for a "well-ventilated coochie" with "I love your coochie. It came out of mine. But it does NOT need to be the first one your nephew sees."
126* ''Series/TheBobNewhartShow'' and ''Series/{{Newhart}}'': Bob Newhart was one of these (as well as an OnlySaneMan) on both shows. Mr. Carlin was also one on the earlier show.
127* ''Series/TheBorgias'': Creator/NiccoloMachiavelli is portrayed as very much a deadpan snarker; for example, when he hears what the French want from Florence he says "So we're to pay for the privilege of being invaded." Well, Machiavelli was actually this in real life.
128* ''Series/{{Bottom}}'': Edward Elizabeth Hitler, when [[TheAlcoholic sober]]:
129-->'''Richie:''' A helicopter! Shout for help!\
130'''Eddie:''' Is this "Help, help, I'm trapped on a ferris wheel!" or, "Help, help, I'm burning to death!"?
131* ''Series/BrooklynNineNine'':
132** Det. Jake Peralta, who snarks even in situations where he really shouldn’t. He has admitted that he is [[StepfordSnarker uncomfortable with emotions and uses it as a defense mechanism]].
133--> '''Judge:''' Please don't address the jury, Mr. Peralta.\
134'''Peralta:''' But... but... but...\
135'''Judge:''' One more "but" and you will be in contempt.\
136'''Peralta:''' [quietly] [[RunningGag "One more 'but' and you're contempt", name of your sex tape.]]
137** Captain Raymond Holt, with emphasis on the Deadpan part.
138** Lt. Terry Jeffords, given he is the TeamMom to a bunch of [[{{Manchild}} manchildren]].
139-->'''Terry:''' I’ve been so worried about my own kids, I forgot about my stupid grown-up kids!\
140…\
141'''[[LethalChef Amy]]:''' I ran out of salt, so I used baking soda.
142-->'''Terry:''' Why wouldn't you? They're both white powders. [[SarcasmMode Of course they're interchangeable!]]
143** Gina Linetti, towards everyone.
144** Det. Rosa Diaz, much like Holt, almost always maintains a straight face and gives him a run for his money in the snark department.
145* ''Series/BurnNotice'':
146** Michael Westen's voiceovers often come into this, as does Sam Axe.
147** The captions describing certain people are usually straightforward, but occasionally they get snarky.
148--->''(When Michael are meeting a potential client)''\
149'''Sam:''' So Veronica said you wanted to talk.\
150'''Client:''' Yeah dude. I've got a serious problem.\
151'''Caption:''' NICK LAM -- DUDE WITH A PROBLEM
152** And:
153--->'''Fiona:''' ...and I'm not one of your damn clients.\
154'''Caption:''' FIONA -- THE CLIENT
155** Considering Sam is played by Creator/BruceCampbell, this makes sense.
156** Michael himself indulges in this as well:
157--->'''Michael:''' ''[after being handed a picture of a woman someone wants killed for the inheritance]'' She looks dangerous.
158* ''Series/{{Carnivale}}'': Samson the dwarf and manager of the carnival.
159-->'''[[PsychoForHire Varlyn Stroud:]]''' Don't you ever get tired of dealing with all them Big People?\
160'''Samson:''' Yeah. Like right now.
161* ''Series/{{Castle|2009}}'': Kate Beckett is a master at this, usually directed at Castle (who also occasionally has his moments of snark).
162** Alexis has her moments as well:
163--->'''Castle:''' Hey. If you killed someone, you would tell me, right?\
164'''Alexis:''' Of course. I'd need help hiding the body.
165* ''{{Series/Catastrophe}}'': Both Rob and Sharon.
166* ''Series/{{Charmed|1998}}'': Everyone has shades of this, though Piper is by far the most prominent example. Everything out of her mouth is a snark, despite the fact that in the early seasons, she was portrayed as the quiet one. Piper's actress Creator/HollyMarieCombs has said she found Piper tiring to play because of her snarkiness.
167* ''Series/{{Cheers}}'' and ''Series/{{Frasier}}'':
168** Frasier Crane, on both shows.
169** Lilith and Niles, as well.
170** And Martin. It runs in the family. And Roz, and Daphne, and Ronnie, and Gil...let's say ''everyone'' on Frasier ''has'' to be this or develop the skills as fast as they can if they want to even hope to match wits with the off-the-charts snark talent of the Crane brothers.
171** Speaking of which, Frasier and Niles engage in impromptu snark-offs in which they try to [[SiblingRivalry top each other's devastating wit]] ''all the time''. Frasier and Lilith do the same thing, less frequently, but far more unpleasantly.
172* ''Series/CobraKai'':
173** Demetri has only two modes of communication, whiny and snide. Season 2 brings him into the territory of deconstruction; while he [[JerkassHasAPoint repeatedly makes accurate and sensible observations and suggestions]], he consistently (and occasionally violently) gets shut down by the people around him because he comes across as that much of a dick. He calms down a bit in the third season, but it never really goes away.
174** Daniel's wife Amanda tends to drop dry comments when his rivalry with Johnny drives him to ridiculous behavior (which is often).
175* ''Series/{{Community}}'':
176** Jeff Winger, the protagonist.
177** Britta Perry, as well. Perhaps even more so.
178** And Abed when he goes into "sarcasm mode".
179* ''Series/ControlZ'': Natalia for most of the first season. Subverted as [[TookALevelInKindness she starts being more sympathethic by the second season]].
180* ''Series/CornerGas'': Half of the main characters fit this trope. If characters aren't snarkers, then they are TheDitz, and they usually come in pairs. Brent and Hank, Emma and Oscar, and Karen and Davis, respectively. Wanda and sometimes Lacey have the unique ability to be snarkers and make the other snarkers into TheDitz.
181* ''Series/CosmosAPersonalVoyage'':
182** Creator/CarlSagan, sometimes:
183--->"We're used to the idea of radio signals from intelligent life, or at least semi-intelligent life; we have radio and television stations."\
184— from his ''Heaven and Hell'' documentary
185** ''Cosmos'' is FULL of this.
186--->"Observation: You can't see a thing. Conclusion: DINOSAURS."
187* ''Series/CriminalMinds'': Most of the characters make use of this type of humor, although they occasionally can't keep a straight face. Aaron Hotchner is famous for it. David Rossi and Emily Prentiss are also both very good at this, particularly when they're working together.
188* ''Series/{{CSI}}'': Gil Grissom. He's famous for his deadpan QuipToBlack. Jim Brass also fills this role quite regularly.
189* ''Series/{{CSI Miami}}'': Horatio ''(puts on sunglasses)'' is known for this.
190* ''Series/{{CSI NY}}'': Don Flack is the resident Deadpan Snarker.
191* ''Series/{{Cybill}}'': Most characters had their snarky moments, but Maryann easily tops them all. Next in line would be Zoe, and to some lesser extents Ira and Cybill herself.
192* ''Series/DadsArmy'':
193** Creator/JohnLeMesurier was cast as Wilson because, in the words of Creator/TheBBC brass, "He suffers so beautifully". With the pompous Mainwaring above him and the various liabilities below him, he deals with being the OnlySaneMan in the platoon with quiet sarcasm. Just to give two examples from the same scene in "The Loneliness of the Long-Distance Walker" (as reconstructed in 2019):
194*** With Mainwaring waiting to inspect the platoon, Wilson gives the command (well, invitation) "Open order... march". Jones, true to form, is a second or two behind the others, and says, "I'm sorry, sir - I'm not my usual self today!". Wilson mutters, "Oh yes you are, Jones".
195*** When Walker arrives with the bad news that he's being called up for military service and must report for his medical in ten days, Mainwaring declares that the time has come for action, not words, and asks Wilson if he agrees. Wilson, well aware of how much his superior at the bank and in the platoon loves the sound of his own voice, says, "I always think it's rather a good idea to keep the words to a minimum, sir".
196* ''Series/TheDailyShow'': Creator/JonStewart. Most of his correspondents, past and present, also qualify (Larry Wilmore and John Oliver being the most obvious).
197* ''Series/DarkOracle'': Simone, [[BigBadWannabe Vern's]] right-hand girl.
198* ''Series/DawsonsCreek'': All the main characters have this [[WorldofSnark to some extent]], but the show's main snarker is Pacey.
199** Joey certainly holds her own though for the title. She's had quite a few impressive one-liners.
200--->'''Anderson:''' My name's Anderson. Anderson Crawford.\
201'''Joey:''' Congratulations.
202** Jen and even Jack are notably snarky.
203** Dru Valentine in Season 4 was nothing [[SarcasmMode ''but'']] this. [[JerkAss In classic dickish fashion, of course]].
204** Dawson himself is this at times.
205* ''Series/{{Defiance}}'': Dr. Meh "Doc" Yewll injects withering sarcasm into every line.
206* ''Series/{{Degrassi|TheNextGeneration}}'': Gives us a bunch in the form of [[TeenGenius Clare]], [[PerkyGoth Ellie]], [[AlphaBitch Paige]], [[ControlFreak Liberty]], Liberty's younger brother [[OnlySaneMan Danny]], [[TheBully Johnny]], [[DefrostingIceQueen Holly J.]], and [[UsefulNotes/{{Transgender}} Adam]].
207* ''Series/{{Dexter}}'': [[Characters/DexterDexterMorgan Dexter Morgan's]] recurring hallucination of his dead father has some fine moments of this.
208-->"Talking to someone who isn't there. Huh."
209* ''Series/DoctorWho'':
210** The Doctor sometimes slips into this, especially in the new series. For instance, in [[Recap/DoctorWhoS28E4TheGirlInTheFireplace "The Girl in the Fireplace"]]:
211--->'''Reinette:''' Oh, this is my lover, the King of France.\
212'''The Doctor:''' Yeah? Well, I'm the Lord of Time.
213*** Which usually leads to SnarkToSnarkCombat during the [[Recap/DoctorWhoS10E1TheThreeDoctors multi-]][[Recap/DoctorWho20thASTheFiveDoctors Doctor]] [[Recap/DoctorWho50thASTheDayOfTheDoctor episodes]].
214---->''[Tenth Doctor whips out his sonic screwdriver]''\
215''[Eleventh Doctor whips out his bigger sonic screwdriver]''\
216'''Tenth Doctor:''' Compensating?\
217'''Eleventh Doctor:''' For what?\
218'''Tenth Doctor:''' Regeneration. It's a lottery.\
219'''Eleventh Doctor:''' ''[sarcastically]'' Oh, he's cool. Isn't he cool? I'm the Doctor and I'm all cool, oops, I'm wearing sand shoes!
220** Almost all of the Doctor's companions have their moments — sometimes with little provocation.
221--->'''The Doctor:''' Think of it: plastic. All over the world, every artificial thing waiting to come alive. The shop window dummies, the phones, the wires, the cables–\
222'''[[Recap/DoctorWhoS27E1Rose Rose Tyler]]:''' –the breast implants.
223** The very [[Recap/DoctorWhoS1E1AnUnearthlyChild first story]] gives us the caveman Horg.
224--->'''Za:''' Tomorrow, I kill many bears. You will all have warm skins.\
225'''Horg:''' I say tomorrow, you will rub your hands together and hold them to the dry sticks, and ask Orb to send you fire. And the bears will stay warm in their own skins.
226** The First Doctor's companion Ian. Differs from most examples in that, being a schoolteacher, his snark was distinctively SternTeacher humour.
227** TheBrigadier uses a dry sense of humour to deal with the Doctor's eccentricity:
228--->'''The Doctor:''' ''[after building a device out of [[MacGyvering a wine bottle and a pair of forks]]]'' It doesn't work.\
229'''The Brigadier:''' You astound me.
230** The Doctor's nemesis the Master gets in on the snark as well, especially when being forced to aid humanity against a greater threat.
231--->'''The Master:''' Oh, I suppose you can take the normal precautions against nuclear blast, like sticky tape on the windows and that sort of thing...
232** The Fourth Doctor really loved his sarcasm.
233--->''[after just being held at gunpoint; after thugs leave]''\
234'''The Doctor:''' ''[incredulous]'' Are you suggesting those men were in my employ?\
235'''Duggan:''' Yes!\
236'''The Doctor:''' ...I don't know if you noticed but he was pointing a ''gun'' at me!
237** The second Romana had her moments as well:
238--->'''Romana:''' You should go into business with a glazier. You'd have a truly symbiotic relationship.\
239'''Duggan:''' What's that supposed to mean?\
240'''Romana:''' I'm simply saying that you tend to leave a lot of broken glass around.\
241'''Duggan:''' You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs.\
242'''Romana:''' If you wanted an omelet, I'd expect to see a pile of broken crockery, a cooker in flames and an unconscious chef!
243** Tegan Jovanka also had a lot of the snark in her. This is pronounced even more in the [[AudioPlay/BigFinishDoctorWho Big Finish audio dramas]] of late. From [[Recap/DoctorWhoS19E4TheVisitation "The Visitation"]]:
244--->'''Tegan:''' Is that supposed to be Heathrow?\
245'''Adric:''' It is.\
246'''Tegan:''' Well, they've certainly let the grass grow since I was last there.\
247'''Adric:''' Well, actually, they haven't built the airport yet. We're about three hundred years early.\
248'''Tegan:''' That's great! Perhaps I can go out, file a claim on the land. When they get round to inventing the aircraft, I'll make a fortune.
249** Companion/[[spoiler:would-be assassin]] Turlough is absolutely snarky from his very first appearance, making him an interesting foil for the Fifth Doctor, who was probably the most polite incarnation to date.
250*** Five's general politeness only adds strength to his snark.
251---->'''Fifth Doctor:''' Oh. You're going to kill me. What a finely-tuned response to the situation.
252** The 6th Doctor is arguably the incarnation most predisposed to this, as demonstrated by his very first words after regenerating.
253-->'''Peri:''' ...Doctor?\
254'''Sixth Doctor:''' You were expecting someone else?
255** Dr. Constantine from [[Recap/DoctorWhoS27E9TheEmptyChild "The Empty Child"]]/[[Recap/DoctorWhoS27E10TheDoctorDances "The Doctor Dances"]]:
256--->'''The Doctor:''' You're very sick.\
257'''Constantine:''' Dying, I should think. I just haven't been able to find the time.
258** [[Recap/DoctorWhoS27E13ThePartingOfTheWays "The Parting of the Ways"]] gives us some rare Dalek snarking:
259--->'''Dalek:''' [[AC:Launch missiles!]]\
260'''Rose:''' You can't! The TARDIS doesn't have any defences, you're gonna kill him!\
261'''Dalek:''' [[AC:You have predicted ''correctly''.]]
262** By [[Recap/DoctorWho2005CSTheChristmasInvasion "The Christmas Invasion"]], Rose's ex-boyfriend Mickey's reaction to her talking about her travelling with the Doctor is pure snark.
263--->"Oh yeah, because I just ''love'' hearing stories about the TARDIS. 'This one time, the TARDIS landed in a big yellow garden, full of balloons!'"
264** Daleks and Cybermen seem to get this way with each other. From [[Recap/DoctorWhoS28E13Doomsday "Doomsday"]]:
265--->'''Cyberman:''' [[AC:Our species are similar, though your design is inelegant.]]\
266'''Dalek Thay:''' [[AC:Daleks have no concept of ''elegance''.]]\
267'''Cyberman:''' [[AC:This is obvious.]]
268*** And from the same episode: "[[AC:This is not war. This is ''pest control!'']]"
269** Donna Noble is quite predisposed to sass.
270** Eleven and the Ponds communicate in snark.
271*** And yet they manage to be consistently out-snarked by the Dream Lord in [[Recap/DoctorWhoS31E7AmysChoice "Amy's Choice"]].
272---->'''The Doctor:''' Where did you pick up this cheap cabaret act?\
273'''The Dream Lord:''' Oh, you're on shaky ground. If you had any more tawdry quirks you could open up a tawdry quirk shop. The madcap vehicle? The cockamamie hair? The clothes designed by a first-year fashion student? I'm surprised you haven't got a little purple space-dog, just to ram home what an intergalactic wag you are.
274*** Grey, actually, and he left it with Sarah Jane.
275** Kate Stewart has soldiers trained in beheading, Ravens of Death, and can recognise the Doctor by his dress sense.
276*** Though considering [[spoiler:who her father was]], it's almost expected.
277** Ashildr, a woman the Doctor made immortal, develops a snarky streak later in her life, most notable when she reacts with dripping sarcasm to the Doctor claiming he and Clara Oswald are JustFriends in [[Recap/DoctorWhoS35E12HellBent "Hell Bent"]].
278* ''Series/DowntonAbbey'': Although almost all characters have their moments, it's Violet, the Dowager Countess of Grantham (played by Dame Creator/MaggieSmith). Nearly every line she says is a snarky one-liner:
279-->'''[[SmugSnake Richard Carlisle:]]''' I am leaving in the morning. It is unlikely you will see me again.\
280'''[[CoolOldLady Dowager Countess:]]''' Do you promise?
281* ''Series/Dracula2013'': Lucy is prone to sarcastic remarks and makes no secret of how boring she considers Jonathan to be (this may partly be a result of her desiring Mina, Jonathan's intended, [[LipstickLesbian for herself]]).
282* ''Series/DrakeAndJosh'': Drake, Josh, and Josh's girlfriend Mindy. Also [[LittleMissSnarker Megan]].
283* ''Series/TheDresdenFiles'': Bob in the TV version. In the books he comes across more as just a straight-up smart-aleck.
284* ''Series/EerieIndiana'': Marshall is always ready with a sarcastic remark about the paranormal events that occur in Eerie or life in general.
285* ''Series/EliStone'': The titular character. He's even shown to be a developing snarker as a kid in flashbacks.
286* ''Series/{{Emergency}}'': All of the regular cast do at least a little of this. Nurse Dixie's comments about hospital management can be ''scathing''. [=DeSoto=] usually stays out of it, befitting his NiceGuy personality, but when he does get involved, his snark can leave second-degree burns. Gage and Chet are both frequent offenders and also frequent targets, especially for each other; once or twice they get into mild SnarkToSnarkCombat. Some subjects are off-limits, though -- for example, they ''never'' snark at or about the patients.
287* ''Series/EverybodyLovesRaymond'': Ray and Debra are very snarky, but the king of this trope is Ray's father, Frank.
288* ''Series/FamilyFeud'': When Richard Dawson and Ray Combs hosted, they often slipped in a quick jab whenever a contest gave a stupid answer. Steve Harvey currently does this as well.
289* ''Series/FamilyTies'': mostly every character slips into this at some point; but Alex tends to fit the bill the most, often prone to making snide remarks at his sister, Mallory's expense.
290* ''Series/{{Farscape}}'': A large amount of characters, but especially Crichton. He does it humorously, but other characters like Aeryn and Zhaan are ''incredibly'' cutting whenever they decide to snark. Aeryn is funny, especially since it's truly impossible to know how serious she is most of the time. Creator/ClaudiaBlack does it a lot in her roles. Just listen to [[VideoGame/DragonAgeOrigins Morrigan]].
291* ''Series/ForThePeople'': Kate Littlejohn, though Roger Gunn gets plenty of barbs in too.
292* ''Series/{{Forever|2014}}'': Often literal with the "dead" part, given the protagonist's ResurrectiveImmortality.
293** When Henry's testing a lethal poison on himself (bear in mind, he's in front of and talking with his son at the time):
294--->'''Henry Morgan:''' Wouldn't it be ironic if this time I actually die?\
295'''Abraham Morgan:''' Hysterical.
296** When he's been shot and is bleeding out:
297--->'''Killer:''' You're going to a better place.\
298'''Henry Morgan:''' I doubt that.
299** When Adam (a man who has lived for over 2000 years and [[WhoWantsToLiveForever hates it]]) expresses interest in Abe, Henry threatens that if Adam does anything to harm Abe, he "will live to regret it."
300--->'''Adam:''' As opposed to what?
301* ''Series/FoylesWar'': DCS Foyle.
302* ''Series/{{Frasier}}'' and Niles ''exist'' to point out flaws, criticise things of a perceived "lower class" and generally have fun at the expense of others. Especially Niles.
303-->'''Frasier:''' [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d_GF7CTBNSw What is the one thing better than an exquisite meal? An exquisite meal with one tiny flaw we can pick at all night.]]
304** According to the WordOfGod, Roz is the only cast member who can put Frasier in his place -- and she does, [[ForTheEvulz with unbridled delight]]. Then there's Martin, and you can see where Frasier and Niles got their snarkiness from.
305--->'''Martin:''' Maris is learning German, huh? [[SarcasmMode Just when you thought she couldn't get any cuddlier.]].
306* ''Series/FreaksAndGeeks'': A few of the characters display this quality, but Ken Miller in particular would have to be on a shortlist of characters who ''embody'' this trope.
307* ''Series/TheFreshPrinceOfBelAir'': Geoffrey fits this so well that it's inconceivable how he kept his job as long as he did: "At the risk of sounding redundant, dinner is served."
308-->'''Philip:''' Good night, Geoffrey.\
309'''Geoffrey:''' Good night, sir... idiot...\
310...\
311'''Philip:''' Geoffrey, go fetch me my tools.\
312'''Geoffrey:''' You mean your knife and fork?
313* ''Series/{{Friends}}'':
314** Chandler Bing. In fact, one episode had Chandler's friends make a bet with him saying that he couldn't last a week of not making any smart-assed comments. Chandler clearly strains his brain to resist from being sarcastic and it didn't help that his friends unintentionally (or maybe on purpose) do things that would make Chandler normally be snarky. In the end, Chandler gave up and let loose what could possibly be the most Badass Snarkfest in the history of Badass Snarkfests. Chandler felt relieved afterwards.
315--->'''Chandler:''' I can't take it anymore! So you win, okay? Pheebs? Flying a jet? Better make it a spaceship so that you can get back to your home planet! And Ross, phone call for you today-Tom Jones, he wants his pants back! And Hornswoggle? What? Are you dating a character from ''Fraggle Rock''? Ahhhhhhhhhh.
316** Rachel also becomes this around the beginning of the fourth season.
317** Ross also proves to be quite the snarker sometimes. In fact, one particular [[SugarWiki/FunnyMoments standout]] sequence has Ross actually ''outsnark'' Chandler, as Chandler makes a typical crack about all his failed marriages, only for Ross to turn it around and mock Chandler's current unemployment, leading Chandler to cry, "What's wrong with you? You know I can only dish it out!"
318** Monica also counts, though she's more subtle about it.
319--->'''Monica:''' ''[Ross is talking]'' Oh great, another dinosaur story. When will those become extinct?
320** Despite being TheDitz, and an overall NiceGuy, [[ReallyGetsAround Joey]] has his moments too. Especially in ThePilot and the [[EarlyInstallmentWeirdness first season]]. [[CharacterizationMarchesOn In the later seasons,]] [[{{Flanderization}} he became dumber]], but still had a moment or two. His [[SugarWiki/FunnyMoments Crowning Moment of snark]] is perhaps when he pointed out the [[CaptainObvious obvious reason]] why the main characters' bosses hated them: '' “Or [[SarcasmMode maybe]], because you're all hanging around here at 11:30 on a Wednesday.” ''
321--->'''[[ObliviousToLove Rachel:]]''' What else did [Ross] say? I mean, does he, like, wanna go out with me?\
322'''Joey:''' Well, given that he's desperately in love with you, [[{{Understatement}} he probably wouldn't mind getting a cup of coffee or something.]]
323* ''Series/{{Fringe}}'': Peter Bishop, who seems like the only voice of semi-sanity on the show so far.
324-->'''Walter:''' I posited in 1976 that it is possible to synchronize the fields of two distinct minds, allowing the sharing of information across the unconscious state... like a string between two tin cans.\
325'''Peter:''' And, you know, what's great about that is that it's ''completely'' insane.
326* ''Series/FullHouse'': Jesse is definitely the king of this, especially toward [[ManChild Joey]]. Stephanie and Kimmy were frequently making off-handed jabs toward one another throughout most of the series.
327* ''Series/GameOfThrones'': Pretty much everyone else in [[WorldOfSnark Westeros]] to some extent.
328** Tyrion is truly the Lord of House Snark, almost to a fault, which makes him absurdly quotable. It's perhaps the biggest factor in his popularity among fans.
329** Bronn seems to have much the same sense of humor as Tyrion.
330--->'''Tyrion:''' ''(about Shae)'' Where did you find one so pretty at this hour? \
331'''Bronn:''' I took her. \
332'''Tyrion:''' Took her? From whom? \
333'''Bronn:''' From, uh.. Ser — what's his name? I don't know. Ginger cunt three tents down.\
334'''Tyrion:''' And he didn't have anything to say about it? \
335'''Bronn:''' He said something.
336** Jaime shares Tyrion's penchant for snark, tending to slip one of these into every conversation he makes but his attitude usually makes him come across as much more of Jerkass than his brother. It's oddly admirable that he can still push his enemies' buttons despite his long captivity. Of particular note:
337--->'''Jaime:''' King in the North! You know, I expect you to leave me at one castle or another for safekeeping but you just drag me along camp to camp. Have you grown fond of me Stark, is that it? I've never seen you with a girl.
338** Tywin, although not to the level of, say, his sons, and placing particular emphasis on deadpan. This is most evident during his dealings with his subordinates.
339*** For example:
340---->'''Polliver:''' ''(to Arya, while dressed as a boy)'' What are you looking at?! Kneel! Kneel or I'll take your lungs out, boy! \
341'''Tywin:''' You'll do no such thing. This one's a girl, ''you idiot''.
342*** And again in "The Old Gods and the New":
343---->'''Tywin:''' ''(to Amory Lorch)'' My ''cupbearer'' can read better than you.
344** Varys is frequently paired with Tyrion in SnarkToSnarkCombat, and has a similar scene with Littlefinger in the Season 1 finale and one with Olenna as well.
345*** This exchange with Tyrion:
346---->'''Tyrion:''' ''(after Joffrey has just gone into detail as to what he plans to do to Stannis)'' Imagine Stannis' terror. \
347'''Varys:''' ''(flatly)'' I am trying.
348*** And when Bronn jokingly suggests throwing books to repel Stannis' siege of the city:
349---->'''Varys:''' We don't have that many books.
350** Not often, but Robb has a few gems.
351*** When threatening to litter the south with Lannister corpses:
352----> '''Alton Lannister:''' King Joffrey is a Baratheon, your grace.\
353'''Robb:''' Oh, is he?
354*** When meeting Talisa:
355----> '''Robb:''' You'd have us surrender, end all this bloodshed, I understand. And the country would be at peace, and life would be just under the righteous hand of "Good King" Joffrey.
356*** When chewing out Edmure:
357---->'''Robb:''' Tywin Lannister has my sisters. Have I sued for peace? \
358'''Edmure:''' No. \
359'''Robb:''' Do you think he'll sue for peace because we have his, father's brother's great-grandsons?
360*** At the Red Wedding:
361---->'''Talisa:''' But if she had her way I'd be back in Volantis playing my harp, and you'd be sitting over there eating blackberries out of Roslin Frey's hand. \
362'''Robb:''' Perhaps I've made a terrible mistake.
363** Sansa becomes a master of subtle insults and back-handed compliments in later episodes, though she has to measure her words given the hostile environment she's in.
364** This is seemingly the only trait Arya shares with Sansa.
365*** The following from "A Man Without Honor" actually makes ''Tywin Lannister'' bark out a laugh:
366---->'''Tywin:''' Aren't most girls more interested in the pretty maidens of song with flowers in their hair? \
367'''Arya:''' Most girls are idiots.
368*** And from "The Night Lands":
369---->'''Gendry:''' You know, you shouldn't insult people who are bigger than you. \
370'''Arya:''' Then I wouldn't get to insult ''anyone''.
371** Davos is likely the only man in Westeros comfortable enough to be this to King Stannis' face and has his moments with other characters as well.
372--->'''Selyse:''' Did you see, Ser Davos? They're with our lord now, their sins all burned away. Did you see?\
373'''Davos:''' I'm sure they're more than grateful, my queen.
374** With great emphasis on the deadpan, Stannis produces dry and voluntary gems like, "They don't have enough men between them to raid a pantry."
375** Stannis' daughter Shireen seems to have inherited this ability.
376*** She tells an imprisoned Ser Davos, "What will they do? Lock us in cells?"
377*** She also snarks back at Melisandre in a far less friendly way when she attempts to justify burning people alive.
378---->'''Melisandre:''' Women scream when they give birth. Afterward they are filled with joy. \
379'''Shireen:''' Afterward they aren't ash and bone.
380*** She even manages to get her old man at one point:
381---->'''Stannis:''' Are you lonely? \
382'''Shireen:''' Just bored. \
383'''Stannis:''' My father used to tell me that boredom indicates a lack of inner resources. \
384'''Shireen:''' Were you bored a lot too?
385*** And in the fifth season at Castle Black:
386---->'''Shireen:''' I thought I'd be left at home. I know Mother didn't want to bring me. \
387'''Stannis:''' Why do you say that? \
388'''Shireen:''' She told me, "I don't want to bring you."
389** Littlefinger, particularly before he became ObviouslyEvil.
390--->'''Littlefinger:''' Do you have somebody in your household you can trust?\
391'''Ned:'''(eagerly) Yes!\
392'''Littlefinger:''' Wrong answer.
393** Ned Stark has his moments.
394--->'''Ned:''' War is easier than daughters.
395** Upon first meeting Robb, Talisa is quite blunt and sassy with him.
396** Jon Snow is not one at first, but his time with the Wildlings brings it out.
397--->'''Janos Slynt:''' I commanded the City Watch of King's Landing, boy. \
398'''Jon Snow:''' And now you're here. Must not have been very good at your job.
399** Maester Luwin, especially where Theon Greyjoy is concerned.
400--->'''Bran:''' The Iron Islands. Lords... the Greyjoys. \
401'''Theon:''' Known for their skills in archery, navigation, and lovemaking. \
402'''Maester Luwin:''' And failed rebellions.
403** Osha's response to Theon hitting on her is to sarcastically mock him.
404** Roose Bolton has a very wry, dark sense of humor.
405---> '''Roose:''' Half a dozen men. Your best hunters.
406---> '''Ramsey:''' They obviously had help!
407---> '''Roose:''' I didn't think Lady Sansa killed them all by herself.
408** Locke:
409--->'''Jaime Lannister:''' Let us go, my father will pay you whatever you want. \
410'''Locke:''' Enough to buy me a new head? Because, if the King in the North learns I had the Kingslayer and let him go, he'll be taking it right off. I'd rather he takes yours.
411** Rickard Karstark has his moments:
412--->'''Karstark:''' We're at war. This march is a distraction. \
413'''Robb:''' My grandfather's funeral is ''not'' a distraction. \
414'''Karstark:''' We ridin' ta battle at Riverrun?\
415'''Robb:''' No.\
416'''Karstark:''' Then it's a distraction. \
417'''Robb:''' My uncle Edmure has his forces garrisoned there. We need his men. \
418'''Karstark:''' Unless 'e's been breedin' 'em, 'e won't 'ave enough ta make a difference.
419** The Smalljon is highly sardonic.
420** Usually he's nothing short of a gentleman, but Kevan has no patience for Cersei's bullshit, so he lets the snark fly loose when dealing with her.
421--->'''Cersei:''' There is to be a royal announcement. \
422'''Kevan:''' There is.\
423'''Cersei:''' I was not informed. \
424'''Kevan:''' ''(dryly)'' There is to be a royal announcement. In the throne room. At this very moment.
425** Sandor "The Hound" Clegane is quite blunt and not at all subtle about it, but he gets a bit of snark in every now and again.
426--->'''Sandor:''' Of course you named your sword. \
427'''Arya:''' Lots of people name their swords. \
428'''Sandor:''' Lots of cunts.
429*** Following his return in Season 6, The Hound somehow got even snarkier. Particularly while chasing down the murderers of Septon Ray.
430---->'''Rogue:''' Fuck you! \
431'''Sandor:''' ''Those'' are your last words? "Fuck you"? Come on, you can do better. \
432'''Rogue:''' ...Cunt! \
433'''Sandor:''' You're ''shit'' at dying, you know that?
434*** Later...
435---->'''Sandor:''' There was a time I would have killed all seven of you just to gut these three. \
436'''Thoros:''' (Amused) You're getting old, Clegane. \
437'''Sandor:''' He's not. (Kicks out stool, hanging Septon Ray's murderer.)
438** Snarks are a rarity for Daenerys, but delicious every time they're delivered none the less. It's cranked up to eleven whenever she debates Tyrion.
439--->'''Jorah:''' The slaves you free...brutality is all they've ever known. If you want them to know something else, you have to show it to them.\
440'''Dany:''' And repay the slavers with what? Kindness? A fine! ''A stern warning.''
441** Jorah has his moments:
442--->'''Jorah:''' Do you ever ''shut up''?
443** Renly Baratheon:
444*** He shows signs of this when he treats with his brother.
445---->'''Renly:''' Whose banner is that? \
446'''Stannis:''' My own. \
447'''Renly:''' ''[smiles]'' I suppose if we used the same one the battle would be terribly confusing... Why's your stag on fire?
448*** From the same scene:
449---->'''Renly:''' "Born amidst salt and smoke"... Is he a ''ham''?
450*** His acerbic greeting to Littlefinger in "Garden of Bones", which begins with a false smile and ends with a DisapprovingLook.
451---->'''Renly:''' Well, if it isn't my favourite whoremonger! Pray I haven't kept you waiting long.
452** Gendry, especially in his talks with Arya, when he starts calling her 'milady', and later with Davos, when he's imprisoned.
453--->'''Gendry:''' So how'd you become a lord? \
454'''Davos Seaworth:''' Oh, that's a long story. \
455'''Gendry:''' Better not, then. I'm a bit busy.
456** Euron shows quite the dry wit when mocking Yara and Theon.
457** Yara's sarcasm is so dry you can practically hear it snap. Theon's often her target.
458---> '''Yara:''' ''[to Theon]'' You're a great warrior. I saw the bodies above your gates. Which one gave you the tougher fight, the cripple or the six year old?
459* ''Series/HouseOfTheDragon'':
460** Bitterness over being denied the throne then having to endure the death of her children has given Rhaenys Targaryen-Velaryon a very dry wit.
461** The wit of Daemon Targaryen is as sharp as his Valyrian steel sword Dark Sister, and as dry as the sands of Dorne. [[LaughablyEvil It's part of his charm]], though.
462* ''Series/TheGames'': Most of the regulars, but John Clarke raised it to an absolute artform:
463-->"Look, it's just a question of making the Americans feel.. slightly more at home."\
464"Mmm, we could issue our schoolchildren with semi-automatic weapons."
465* ''Series/GilmoreGirls'': Lorelai, Rory, and every other character too.
466* ''Series/{{Glee}}'':
467** Has a few, like Artie, Kurt (especially when taking aim at Rachel), Lauren and Sue Sylvester:
468--->'''Kurt:''' You smell homeless, Brett. ''Homeless''.
469** Seasons 2 and 3 Santana speaks in nothing but snarks, all with that same look on her face.
470** Blaine has had a few moments of this himself, most notably in the Season 3 episode "Choke".
471* ''Series/TheGoldbergs'': Both young and adult Adam, Erica, Johnny Atkins, and Murray have their moments. Erica especially since she gets a jar to put money in after she makes a snappy comment in one episode.
472* ''Series/TheGoldenGirls'':
473** Dorothy, who would mostly make sarcastic replies whenever Rose made an idiotic comment.
474--->'''Rose:''' Ooh, but I did learn that Baked Alaska can actually be cooked locally!\
475'''Dorothy:''' Rose, I have an even bigger scoop for you. Mars Bars are made right here on Earth.
476** ''Maude''. In general, Bea Arthur might qualify as the Queen of Deadpan Delivery.
477** While Dorothy is the uncontested master of this trope in ''The Golden Girls'', Sophia runs a close second. Blanche will occasionally say something sarcastic in response to Rose's stupidity but usually just responds tiredly. On the very, very, ''very'' rare occasions when [[TheDitz Rose]] is in a bad mood she proves to be quite adept.
478--->'''Dorothy:''' ''[seeing Rose carrying buckets out of her bedroom]'' Oh hi, Rose. The ceiling in your room leaking, too?\
479'''Rose:''' No, Dorothy, I just finished milking the cow I keep in my closet. Gee, with only three hours sleep, I can be as bitchy as you.
480* ''Series/GossipGirl'': Chuck and Blair are the King and Queen of Snark on the show with Dan being a close runner-up.
481* ''Series/{{Grimm}}'': Most of the cast are adept snarkers.
482* ''Series/TheGruenTransfer'': The panellists are often snarky. Especially during segments like "Endorse Me". Then again, considering the show is from Australia, snark is to be expected, given our national sense of humour.
483* ''Series/HannahMontana'': Lilly certainly has her moments, as does Miiey.
484** Robbie Ray, Jackson and (especially) [[BrattyHalfPint Rico]] are certainly capable of their fair share.
485** Out of the antagonists, Mikayla's appearances get plenty of snark from herself and her mother, along with Dontzig and Amber and Ashley.
486* ''Series/HawaiiFive0'': Danno from the reimagined show is a champion snarker:
487--->'''[=McGarrett=]:''' Take the tie off. No one on a cruise ship wears a tie.\
488'''Danno:''' Oh yes they do. They do it all the time. So they can hang themselves when they get bored.
489** And Steve, being Danny's best friend and partner sharks right back, which can lead to some very snarktastic situations:
490--->'''[=McGarrett=]:''' Then put it in your pocket and you can hang yourself with it later.
491* ''{{Series/Hellevator}}'': The hosts Jen and Sylvia Soska are infamous for their cruel and sardonic put-downs and one-liners on the show as well as mocking the alleged deaths of unsuccessful contestants.
492* ''Series/HeyDad'': Martin tries to be this. His kids still don't think he's cool.
493* ''Series/HeyHeyItsSaturday'': An Australian variety show, employed a team of snarkers. In addition to [[TheEeyore Red Symons]], who hosted some segments, there were Dickie Knee (a mop with a cap on that would appear between the camera and the host's desk and argue with him), John Blackman (who voiced Dickie and could occasionally be heard snarking over the top of whatever else was going on in his normal voice), the occasional [[CaptionHumor snarky subtitle]], and a caricaturist whose drawings would be cut away to for a second at random. [[SugarWiki/MomentOfAwesome This was all done live, off the cuff, week after week]].
494* ''Series/{{Hiccups}}'': This successor to ''Series/CornerGas'' features Crystal Braywood, a teenaged receptionist completely detached from her job.
495* ''Series/HighFidelity'': Rob frequently has sarcastic commentary on her life and other things.
496* ''Series/{{Highlander}}'': Methos. Living for over five thousand years means he's SeenItAll.
497* ''Series/HogansHeroes'': This ever-popular sitcom gives almost every single character the role of deadpan snarker, such as responding to the kommandant's pledge of support with "we might be able to pull through anyway" or playing on the stereotypes of each prisoner's nationalities. When not acting as a (presumably) ignorant sarcastic comedian in front of the German officers, Colonel Hogan also makes frequent comments at the others' expense in his usual business tone of speaking.
498* ''Series/HomicideLifeOnTheStreet'': The character John Munch is this from beginning to end. But in the final season he gets competition from medical examiner George Griscom.
499* ''Series/HomeImprovement'': Has Jill Taylor and Randy Taylor most prominently. Tim Taylor's sense of humor alternates between goofy and snarky depending on the situation, and Al Borland starts out as one but becomes less of one over time. Mark Taylor becomes one in the last few seasons, especially after Randy leaves in Season 8.
500* ''Series/TheHoneymooners'': Alice Kramden. Ed Norton has his moments, too.
501* ''Series/HoratioHornblower'' mini-series:
502** Captain Pellew's so good at the deadpan part that most times, Horatio takes ages to figure out when he's being sarcastic.
503--->'''Pellew:''' Yes, England, boy. A big, damp, foggy island nor-nor-east of Ushant! Think you can find it?
504** Archie Kennedy has his smartass moments, especially in "The Frogs and the Lobsters". When Colonel Moncoutant reveals the means of transport for their artillery, this is his insight:
505--->'''Archie:''' From Acting Lieutenant to commander of a dung cart in no more than a step. My career is looking up!
506** Lieutenant Bush establishes himself as Deadpan Snarker in "Mutiny". Horatio [[MeetCute had to tackle him down]], otherwise he might have been injured by a pulley.
507--->'''Bush:''' Interesting welcoming ceremony, Mr. Hornblower.
508** Captain Keene, even though he's a tired old gentleman, has some grand snarks. As an example, here is his picking on Midshipman Simpson when he reviews answers of a navigational exercise.
509--->'''Keene:''' Mr. Simpson? We must all rejoice! The sources of the Nile have been discovered at last, your ship, as far as I can tell from your illiterate scrawl, is in central Africa! Let us see what other ''[[GratuitousLatin terrae incognitiae]]'' has been discovered by the remaining intrepid explorers of this class.
510** His Lordship Major Edrington. When his face is not deadpan, he sneers or smirks.
511--->'''The Earl of Edrington:''' No artillery would dare cross here and if they tried, my mama could beat them off with her parasol.
512** Captain Collins uttered some sarcastic remarks during the trial in "Retribution", and SarcasmBlind Horatio did not get them.
513* ''Series/TheHour'' has Freddie and Lix. The former in particular tends to get into trouble for it.
514* ''Series/{{House}}'': Dr. Gregory House is a very anti-social example of this trope (as well as a plethora of other tropes). James Wilson also acts as this, usually in conjunction with House and [[SnarkToSnarkCombat snarking right back at him]]. (It's probably either that or shoot him in the head.) As do Cuddy. And Foreman. And occasionally Cameron and Chase. The new kids are still getting their feet under them, but Taub does fairly well.
515-->'''Kutner:''' The shortest distance between here and your memory is straight through your prefrontal cortex. All we have to do is access it.\
516'''Taub:''' Great idea. [[Film/FantasticVoyage I'll build the giant submarine. You get the miniaturization gizmo]].
517* ''Series/HouseOfAnubis'':
518** Patricia is incredibly dry and sarcastic, regardless of who she's around and what the situation is. It's such a big part of her character that Eddie found her being polite over the phone as a huge OutOfCharacterAlert. She even got sarcastic to Rufus, both while he was holding her captive and when he was threatening to harm her and her friends to get the cup of ankh. Her BelligerentSexualTension with Eddie stemmed primarily from her inability to talk to him [[{{Tsundere}} without teasing or insulting him.]]
519** Jerome, being a ManipulativeBastard AntiHero, can be quite cynical and snarky. Though his attitude started to tone down as he TookALevelInKindness later on, he still had plenty of moments, notably during his own BelligerentSexualTension with Joy, who has a strong snark streak herself.
520* ''Series/HowIMetYourMother'':
521** We have Barney as the Deadpan Snarker... and Lily... and Ted... and Marshall... and Robin... and Tony (Stella's [[spoiler:fiancee]]).
522** Particularly notable in that they all actively ''try'' to be snarky, instead of having the mysterious talent for blase pitch-perfect snark that most sitcom characters have.
523** [[LemonyNarrator Future!Ted]] tends to be ''very'' snarky about his and his friends' immature or bizarre past behavior, most strongly in "Dowisetrepla".
524* ''Series/HumanTarget'': Guerrero:
525-->'''Guerrero:''' You and I could have a problem. Mostly, ''you''.
526* ''Series/{{iCarly}}'':
527** Nearly everyone. Each of the main characters had their moments of snarkiness, but Sam and Mrs. Benson are the harshest of the lot:
528--->'''Carly:''' Gibby should be himself.\
529'''Sam;''' Yeah, look where's that got him in life.\
530'''Carly:''' You're so right.
531** This:
532--->'''Spencer:''' ''[sees Sam wrestling Freddie]'' What's happening there?\
533'''Carly:''' I'm teaching Sam to act more like a girl.\
534'''Spencer:''' Ah, good work.
535* ''Series/ILoveLucy'': Fred Mertz is a blatant deadpan snarker, usually asking a serious question through which Lucy or Ethel become the butt of the joke.
536* ''Series/TheImperfects'': Dr. Sarkov has his moments.
537-->'''Juan:''' Darcy. Darcy. Is she okay?\
538'''Sarkov:''' She's on a bus to Vancouver.\
539'''Juan:''' Is she alive?\
540'''Sarkov:''' If not, that's gonna be a very disturbing bus ride.
541* On ''Series/TheInsideMan'', The Handler is bursting with wit and snark, regularly criticizing the employees of the company that Mark has infiltrated as sheep and also mocking Mark himself.
542-->'''Handler''': Amazing how easy it is to stop an attack that you just launched.
543* ''Series/TheInspectorLynleyMysteries'': This is essentially [[TheLancer Barbara Havers]]' ''raison d'etre'', which makes her an excellent match for her GentlemanSnarker of a partner.
544* ''Series/InterviewWithTheVampire2022'':
545** Hardly a scene passes where Daniel Molloy isn't dropping caustic remarks, especially when he's taunting Louis de Pointe du Lac.
546** Lestat de Lioncourt has a witty remark for every occasion, particularly in regards to Louis and his angst about his new vampiric nature.
547* ''Series/InTheDark'': This is pretty much Murphy's default mode of speech. Murphy's frenemy/co-worker Felix is also pretty snarky and both engage in SnarkToSnarkCombat on a daily basis.
548* ''Series/ItAintHalfHotMum'': Sergeant Major Williams.
549* ''Series/{{JAG}}'': Rear Admiral AJ Chegwidden. Harm and Mac have their moments too.
550* ''Series/JeevesAndWooster'': Jeeves inherits this from the books. Emphasis on the "deadpan":
551-->'''Bertie:''' This white mess jacket is brand new!\
552'''Jeeves:''' I assumed it had got into your wardrobe by mistake, sir, or else that it had been placed there by your enemies.\
553'''Bertie:''' I'll have you know, Jeeves, that I bought this in Cannes!\
554'''Jeeves''': And wore it, sir?\
555'''Bertie''': Every night at the Casino. Beautiful women used to try and catch my eye!\
556'''Jeeves''': Presumably they thought you were a waiter, sir.
557* ''Series/{{Jeopardy}}'': Creator/AlexTrebek likes to make sarcastic barbs about the clues, the contestants, and even [[SelfDeprecation himself]]. This comes out most often in the contestant interviews.
558* ''Series/KaizokuSentaiGokaiger'': Joe Gibken (with emphasis on "deadpan") and Luka Millfy.
559* Mirabelle of ''Series/TheKicks'' is a veritable fountain of snark. Devin gets her moments too.
560* ''Series/KinnPorsche'': Pete becomes quite sarcastic while being chained up and held captive by Vegas:
561-->'''Vegas:''' Where did you get that?\
562'''Pete:''' Went out to buy it, I guess.
563* ''Franchise/LawAndOrder'':
564** On ''Series/LawAndOrderSpecialVictimsUnit'', John Munch was once a classic Deadpan Snarker, back in the days when he actually had more than six lines per season. And before him, on the original series, there was Lennie Briscoe, the ultimate snarky cop. When Munch left, his partner promptly took over the role. Even the citizens of New York occasionally join in.
565** This is one of the reasons fans like ADA Rafael Barba so much.
566** Creator/JerryOrbach's brilliant, world-weary, deadpan humor practically defined the TV idea of the New York cop. Every pair of detectives on ''Franchise/LawAndOrder'' is required to have at least one deadpan snarker.
567--->''(Briscoe and Green are checking out a dead man's bank account; the bank clerk helping them has just stated that he made semi-regular deposits)''\
568'''Briscoe:''' Let me guess, all under ten thousand dollars, right?\
569'''Clerk:''' Who wants to bother with all that pesky federal paperwork?
570** Det. Alexandra Eames often fills this role on ''Series/LawAndOrderCriminalIntent''.
571--->''(on learning that a drowning victim was wearing an anti-seasickness patch)''\
572'''Eames:''' He should have worn a learn-to-swim patch.
573:::and another...
574--->'''Goren:''' ''(extracting a silver chain from the mouth of a decapitated head)'' So, what does this tell us?\
575'''Eames:''' Robbery wasn't the motive?
576** Mike Logan gets one when he first meets Wheeler, and Danny Ross is explaining the qualifications of the rather young-looking detective.
577--->'''Ross:''' Three years undercover -- vice, drugs, white collar -- no one ever made her.\
578'''Logan:''' Well, I can believe that. She get carded at bars?
579** Wheeler gets one of her own just after she meets her own new partner, whose hands were so full of different kinds of food on their first meeting that he couldn't shake her hand.
580--->'''Wheeler:''' How did he do when he wasn't having breakfast?
581** The judges in arraignment hearings seem to have a knack for this.
582** Ronnie Brooks took on this role across the pond in ''Series/LawAndOrderUK'' (makes sense, as he's the {{Expy}} of Briscoe). His partner, Matt Devlin kept up with him pretty well.
583* ''Series/LazyTown'' The "evil dude" & his people.
584* ''Series/LeaveItToBeaver'': Ward and June Cleaver were both very much this.
585* ''Series/LegendOfTheSeeker'': Cara is constantly dropping sarcastic, cutting remarks after she's with the heroes, frequently complaining of Richard having [[ChronicHeroSyndrome an incessant need to help people]] which gets them sidetracked from the quest or not listening when she advises [[WhyDontYouJustShootHim just solving problems with his sword]].
586* ''Series/{{Leverage}}'': Most of the characters, but especially Nate Ford, who ''is'' a phenomenal leader and strategist, partially due to his fantastic ability to see flaws in plans (and then fix those flaws on the fly).
587-->'''Nate''': Yeah okay, yeah. Let's go rob Nicky Moscone. A guy who kills people, and lives in our city. Yeah, let's do that.
588* ''Series/LieToMe'': Cal Lightman, though the rest of the Lightman Group have their fair share of snark.
589* ''Series/LifeInPieces'': Everybody has a bit of it, but the queen is Jen, as befitting her self-appointed OnlySaneMan status.
590* ''Series/LifeOnMars2006'' and ''Series/AshesToAshes2008'':
591** Sam Tyler and Alex Drake have a lot of good snarking going on:
592--->'''Sam Tyler''': You're an overweight, over-the-hill, heavy-drinking, nicotine-stained, fascist homophobe with a superiority complex and an unhealthy obsession with male bonding.\
593'''Gene Hunt''': You say that like it's a bad thing.\
594'''Alex Drake''': I'm a modern woman, I come when I need to.
595** But the undisputed snark king of both series remains Gene Hunt.
596--->'''Chris''': Think [the dead guy floating in the Thames] drowned, then?\
597'''Gene''': "No, Christopher. I think he tried to drink the entire river for a bet and failed!\
598'''Alex Drake''': Tonight's my last night. So, that's it then. It's a date. Our last supper.\
599'''Gene Hunt''': Can I be Jesus?\
600'''Gene Hunt''': Right, listen up you lot. The Paki in a coma's looking about as lively as Liberace's dick when he's looking at a naked woman and all in all this investigation's going at about the speed of a spastic in a magnet factory. What are you looking at, Tyler?\
601'''Sam Tyler''': I think you might have missed out the Jews ... have you considered the possibility that this might have been a hate crime?\
602'''Gene Hunt''': What, as opposed to one of the those "I really, really like you" sort of murders?
603* ''WesternAnimation/LizzieMcGuire'': Miranda, Gordo, Matt and (especially as it's her reason for being there) [[GreekChorus Animated-Lizzie]]. Sometimes real-life Lizzie, too.
604* ''Series/TheLordOfTheRingsTheRingsOfPower'':
605** Poppy always has the right comeback.
606--->'''Nori:''' There's head-sense, Poppy, and there's heart-sense.\
607'''Poppy:''' There's ''common'' sense and ''non''sense.
608* ''Series/{{Lost}}'':
609** Several characters tend toward sarcasm, but Juliet and especially Miles are probably the most deadpan about it.
610** C'mon, how can you leave out Sawyer? He's the king of snark!
611** The Season 1 finale, "Exodus":
612--->'''Hurley:''' ''(as they find the ''Black Rock'')'' Dude. How does something like this... happen?\
613'''Rousseau:''' Are you on the same island as I am?
614** Ben's deadpan snark trumps all.
615--->'''Locke:''' The Man from Tallahassee? What is that some kind of code?\
616'''Ben:''' No John, unfortunately we don't have a code for "there is a man in my closet holding a gun to my daughter's head." ''(cocks eyebrow)'' Although we obviously ''should...''
617** In a later episode:
618--->'''Jack:''' ''(aboard Ajira 316, disgusted at Ben's relaxed attitude)'' How can you ''read''?\
619'''Ben:''' ''(without looking up from his book)'' My mother taught me.
620*** What makes this truly snarky is that it's a complete lie. Ben's mother died when he was born.
621* ''Series/MadMen'': Roger Sterling. Many other characters get in their share of zingers (notably Don Draper and Joan Holloway/Harris), but only Sterling has had a book of his published in real life. [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a4GfXVn6F4s Here's a sampler.]]
622* The titular character of ''Series/MalcolmInTheMiddle''. Malcolm's sarcasm spares no one and he's constantly in a cynical mood. One episode even centers on him suppressing his snark (because he realizes how much it was costing him) and ending up with a peptic ulcer because he had to suppress so much.
623* ''Series/MamasFamily'': Thelma Harper (aka "Mama").
624* ''Series/TheManFromUNCLE'': Illya Kuryakin in several episodes of this 60s spy series. Usually when in the hands of THRUSH or another villain:
625-->''(Solo is deep undercover in a THRUSH laboratory, while Kuryakin has been captured by THRUSH mooks and is in a holding cell)''\
626'''Napoleon Solo:''' ''(on his communicator)'' Open Channel D. Control, this is Sheep's Clothing. Come in, Control. Open Channel D. ''(sotto voce)'' Jammed. How about Channel F? Is there anything new on Channel F?\
627'''Illya Kuryakin:''' Not much. What's new with you?\
628'''Napoleon Solo:''' Illya, is that you? What are you doing on Channel F?\
629'''Illya Kuryakin:''' Don't be presumptuous. You called me.\
630'''Napoleon Solo:''' Where are you?\
631'''Illya Kuryakin:''' I'm tied up right now.\
632'''Napoleon Solo:''' I get the feeling you're not telling me everything.\
633'''Illya Kuryakin:''' Well, Miss Francis and I were detained by the THRUSH welcome wagon.\
634'''Napoleon Solo:''' Ah, you've been captured.\
635'''Illya Kuryakin:''' It's amazing how you grasp the picture with such unerring clarity.\
636-- "The Sort of Do-It-Yourself Dreadful Affair" (third season)
637* ''Series/MarriedWithChildren'': That is all.
638* ''Series/{{MASH}}'''s own Major Charles Emerson Winchester III, for whom sarcasm is his primary coping mechanism. Hawkeye, Trapper and B.J. all had their own share of sarcasm, usually directed at Frank Burns.
639* ''Series/TheMentalist'':
640** Although this show features numerous snarky characters, it's [[TheStoic Kimball Cho]] who takes "deadpan" to Olympic levels:
641--->'''Suspect:''' How am I supposed to know who you are? You're bangin' on my doors, "CBI! CBI!" Like that's supposed to mean somethin'?\
642'''Cho:''' Yeah, we do need better brand awareness.
643** This is another doozy:
644--->'''Suspect:''' Don't you know who I am? With one phone call, I could end your career.\
645'''Cho:''' That's impressive. The best I can get with one call is a pizza.
646** He's the "Deadpan" part, but Lisbon is definitely the snarkiest one.
647---> '''Therapist''': [Patrick Jane] has good mental health.\
648'''Lisbon''': Now I wanna see your license to practice.
649** And:
650--->'''Minelli''': What were you thinking? Leaving this man alone at an event like that?\
651'''Lisbon''': No excuses, I mistakenly treated him like a responsible adult.
652* ''Series/{{Merlin 1998}}'' is full of these, including the title character, as well as Frik, Ambrosia, and Mordred.
653* ''Series/{{Merlin 2008}}'' also has its fair share of snark. Merlin is more of a ServileSnarker since he's Arthur's servant, but Arthur and Gwaine fit this trope nicely.
654* ''Series/{{Misfits}}'':
655** Nathan, in spades.
656** Also Shaun, the probation worker from Series 2.
657** Simon also begins showing signs of this once he starts to come out of his shell.
658** Jess owns this trope.
659** Pretty much everything out of Alex's mouth in series 5 was this trope.
660* ''Series/ModernFamily'':
661** Alex Dunphy has mastered the deadpan snark when trying to deal with her crazy family:
662--->'''Manny Delgado''': ''[at the Lakers' game]'' Look, it's the 'Kiss-cam'! Wouldn't it be great if they put the camera on us and we had to kiss?\
663'''Alex Dunphy''': No. We're related.\
664'''Manny Delgado''': Not by blood.\
665'''Alex Dunphy''': Touch me and there will be blood.
666** Alex is hardly the only one. Jay, Claire, Luke, Mitchell and Haley are all snarkers as well. It seems to be a Pritchett family trait.
667* ''Series/MonarchLegacyOfMonsters'': Several members of the cast are pretty sarcastic and snarky. In the 1950s flashbacks, Lee Shaw and Keiko Miura are both pretty deadpan and sardonic when they really want to be. Michelle Duvall makes emphatic {{air quotes}} -- in front of her boss no less -- when saying that [[JadedWashout Kentaro]] is an artist. Even [[{{Cloudcuckoolander}} Tim]] gets pretty sarcastic to show that he's at his wit's end when he's caught in a Godzilla-caused helicopter crash in the Sahara, has to hike several miles back to civilization on foot with no water as the {{sole survivor}}, and almost immediately gets accused by the main cast of having kidnapped their friend ([[NotMeThisTime which he didn't do this time]]).
668* ''Series/TheMonkees'': Mike is the occasional snarker.
669* ''Series/MontyPythonsFlyingCircus'' had no fewer than six in their cast at all times. Special mention, however, goes to Creator/JohnCleese, for his [[TheStoic uncanny ability to keep a completely straight face while saying even the most absurd lines]].
670* ''Series/MurdochMysteries'': Murdoch is one of these from time to time. To name only one example, late in "The Murdoch Sting", he comes upon [[spoiler: Eva Pearce]] standing in a pond desperately searching for [[spoiler: the corpse she hid there]]. He addresses [[spoiler: her]] and says, "What ''are'' you doing? You'll catch your death." Bear in mind, this is in a time and place where there is a death penalty for murder, and his listener has just been caught red-handed.
671* ''Series/TheMusketeers'': In the 2014 BBC version, all of the Musketeers (including Captain Treville), Cardinal Richelieu, Constance and Milady [[WorldOfSnark all demonstrate this quality frequently]], but the master of the trope is undoubtably Athos.
672-->'''Athos:''' If you'd told us what you were doing, we might have been able to plan this properly.\
673'''Aramis:''' Yes, sorry.\
674'''Athos:''' No, no, let's keep it suicidal.
675* ''Series/MyDeadEx'': Wren is a cynical girl who constantly makes dry sarcastic remarks.
676* ''Series/MyFamily'': The titular family. Yes, every single member, possibly except Nick.
677* ''My Life as Liz'': The eponymous main character of this MTV show.
678* ''Series/MysteryScienceTheater3000'': Most every character was capable of this, with Crow T. Robot perhaps being the champ. Interestingly, the hosts had more of one part of the trope name than the other: Joel was more of a deadpan while Mike was more of a snark. The robots were mostly neutral, though Tom Servo was more polite and Crow was more direct with their insults.
679* ''Series/MyWorldAndWelcomeToIt'':
680** John's dialogue (as well as his cartoons and stories) is crammed with wry wit and withering criticism.
681*** A dialogue example from "Dear Is a Four Letter Word" addresses how best to convey affection to daughters and wives:
682---->'''Ellen''': ''[giving John advice about how to show affection to his daughter]'' And chuck her under the chin.\
683'''John''': ''[incredulously]'' ''Chuck'' her under the ''chin?''\
684'''Ellen''': Yes. You know... ''[chucks John under the chin]''\
685'''John''': Girls like that?\
686'''Ellen''': They go mad about it.\
687'''John''': And to think of all the times I wasted nibbling on the lobes of ears.
688*** "The Mating Dance" opens with this mordant, misogyny-tinged soliloquy on his daughter's transformation from girlhood to pre-teen status:
689---->'''John''': I'm not much in a hurry to get home today. Last night, I discovered my daughter Lydia at the ripe old age of ten trying on her mother's lipstick. It suddenly dawned on me that our little bundle of joy is about to emerge from her somewhat transparent disguise of being a child and reveal herself as man's basic enemy, the Eternal Female. Now -- now, the mating dance begins, and some poor male is going to end up trampled to a pulp. And please, none of you Pollyannas out there can convince me differently -- I happen to know her mother.
690*** This exchange from "The Shrike and the Chipmunks" concerns John's extreme irritation about having to draw illustrations for a children's book -- something his wife thinks is a good idea.
691---->'''John''': I've done some shameful things in my time, but I have never illustrated a kid book!\
692'''Ellen''': It's high time you did -- they've needed somebody like you.\
693'''John''': Sure -- like the lions needed the Christians.
694*** The episode "Rally Round the Flag" sees John snarkily criticizing his milkman, who atypically greets him in cheerful fashion around the holidays:
695---->'''John''': One of the first signs that Christmas is upon us is when your basic, garden-variety milkman, barely civil for fifty weeks of the year, becomes a fawning hypocrite -- a milk-bearing Uriah Heep. A sudden expert literary critic, founder of the John Monroe Fan Clubs of America. Yes sir, Christmas is at our throats again.
696** John's friend Phil Jensen has his moments of cynical irreverence as well. An example from "Rally Round the Flag" when he misunderstands what John's problem is with Ellen today and thinks he's looking for a divorce:
697--->'''Phil''': I wouldn't consider a divorce right now. In the first place, you can't get a lawyer on the phone -- they're out buying presents for the judges. Secondly, to start a divorce action at Yuletide would be in bad taste.
698* ''Series/TheNanny'': Niles and C.C. Babcock are this, especially when trying to one-up each other. Deadpan Snarkers that are also butlers seem to be a fairly [[ServileSnarker common subtrope]].
699* ''Series/{{NCIS}}'': Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs and Tony.
700* ''Series/{{Neighbours}}'': Frazer.
701* ''Series/TheNewAdventuresOfOldChristine'': Barb. Matthew gets in on this as well. Occasionally they even double team Christine.
702* ''Series/{{Nikita}}'': Has so many it's practically WorldOfSnark. Nikita, Michael and Birkhoff are the most consistent... making their group now a Team Of Snark.
703* ''Series/NoahsArc'': Ricky, which is the big contributing factor to his {{Jerkass}} characteristics.
704* ''Series/NoTomorrow'': Kareema almost constantly makes dry, sarcastic remarks at the start. This starts to change as she falls for Sofia, becoming genuinely earnest toward her as a result.
705* ''Series/NowhereBoys'': [[WorldOfSnark Basically everyone]], but particularly Felix, Ellen and Phoebe.
706* ''Series/Numb3rs'':
707** Colby Granger has his moments.
708** Megan Reeves, like Colby, tends to snark a lot.
709** Nikki Betancourt can outdo Colby, with David being the usual target.
710* ''Series/NurseJackie'': Dr Eleanor O'Hara from this Showtime show:
711-->'''Dr O'Hara:''' I once cut a dead bunny in half to see what it looked like inside. ''That's'' why I'm a doctor.
712* ''Series/OddSquad'': While other characters like Ms. O have their moments, Agent Olive is a ''very'' consistent snarker. If she doesn't snark with her words, she'll snark via the use of FacialDialogue.
713--> '''Danny T:''' Aight, here's the 411. The rest of Soundcheck is missing!
714--> '''Otto:''' ''[[BigWhat What?!]]''
715--> '''Olive:''' Oh, that's too bad.
716* ''Series/TheOfficeUK'': [[OnlySaneMan Tim Canterbury]] snarks a lot. Considering he's played by Creator/MartinFreeman, this is really just part of the territory:
717-->'''Anne:''' I don't know what it is about me [men] like so much.\
718'''Tim:''' I'm racking my brains.
719* ''Series/TheOfficeUS'':
720** Stanley.
721** Jim responds this way to anything Dwight and Michael do.
722** Toby gradually became this: Teaching Pam how to throw a punch and asking for Michael to kick him out of a meeting all in his sad, monotone voice.
723* ''Series/TheOldGuys'': Follows Tom and Roy as they snark their way through retirement.
724* ''Series/OnceUponATime'': Several characters, including [[StepfordSnarker Emma]], Snow White, Mr. Gold, Grumpy/Leroy, and, of all people, [[Literature/LittleRedRidingHood Red/Ruby]]'s [[CoolOldLady grandmother]].
725** Regina Mills, a.k.a. the Evil Queen:
726--->''[After Robin Hood has just shot an arrow past her head to trigger a booby trap that she nearly walked into]''\
727'''Evil Queen''': Are you insane? That arrow nearly took off my head!\
728'''Robin Hood''': Where I come from, a simple "thank you" would suffice.\
729'''Evil Queen''': Where YOU come from, people bathe in the river and use pine cones for money...
730** Later in that same episode, the Evil Queen, a pregnant Snow White, and Prince Charming are searching for Glinda the Good Witch...
731--->'''Prince Charming''': ''[handing Snow a flower]'' For you, my love.\
732'''Evil Queen''': [gives Snow a deadpan expression]\
733'''Snow White''': What?\
734'''Evil Queen''': We're at the edge of the Dark Forest, trying to stop our imminent doom, and save your unborn child, and you two stop to smell the roses?!?\
735'''Snow''': ''[correcting her and holding up the flower]'' Snowbells!\
736'''Evil Queen''': I don't care if they're dancing daffodils!
737** And of course who can forget...
738--->'''Regina''': Should I be impressed that [Baelfire] made a nightlight?\
739''[later in the episode]''\
740'''Regina''': Oh, sure, because pre-teen Baelfire probably made lots of pasta…
741** ''Any'' Disney villain who appears on the show, including both those who were snarkers originally ([[WesternAnimation/{{Hercules}} Hades]] and [[Franchise/TheLittleMermaid Ursula]]), and those who were less so ([[WesternAnimation/SleepingBeauty Maleficent]] and [[WesternAnimation/{{Aladdin}} Jafar]]).
742* ''Series/OnceUponATimeInWonderland'': The Knave of Hearts is quite good at this:
743-->'''Alice''': Don't struggle. It'll only make us sink faster.\
744'''Knave''': Oh yes, because a slow death would be so much more pleasant.
745* ''Series/OneBigHappy'' has Lizzy's sister Leisha.
746-->'''Prudence''': I have so much respect for women who choose to have children on their own!\
747'''Leisha''': It's not immaculate conception. Luke's the father.
748* ''Series/OneFootInTheGrave'': Creator/AngusDeayton as Patrick Trench, the [[MaddenIntoMisanthropy long-suffering]] neighbour of Victor Meldrew, became one of these as the series progressed:
749-->'''Margaret Meldrew''': Going out somewhere?\
750'''Patrick Trench''': Yes, just up to the hospital. [[ItMakesSenseInContext To have a hermit crab surgically removed]] [[GroinAttack from my testicles]].\
751'''Margaret''': I beg your pardon?\
752'''Patrick''': Well, I say hermit crab, but it wasn't demonstrating much in the way of hermitude when it popped into my shorts earlier on for lunch and fastened itself to my scrotum like a bulldog clip.\
753'''Margaret''': Well how did this happen?\
754'''Patrick''': Well I've only got myself to blame for that one I'm afraid. The old, old story; I remembered to apply sun cream... but I completely forgot to smear my groin with crab repellent. And inevitably I paid the price.\
755'''Margaret''': It makes you wonder where things like that come from, doesn't it?\
756'''Patrick''': Doesn't it, Mrs. Meldrew, doesn't it? Um, changing the subject altogether, how's Mr. Meldrew getting on with his collection of exotic marine wildlife? No escaped specimens to report, anything like that?
757* ''Series/OneOfUsIsLying'': Janae is always ready with dry, very sarcastic remarks, with her default attitude being cynical and weary of others.
758* ''Series/OneTreeHill'': Nathan and Haley are regular examples, while Brooke and Peyton are this and arguably StepfordSnarker.
759* ''Series/OnlyConnect'': Victoria Coren Mitchell, presenter of this show of Creator/TheBBC.
760* ''Series/OnlyFoolsAndHorses'': Rodney Trotter.
761* ''Series/OpenHeart'': Dylan, and occasionally Wes.
762* ''Radio/OurMissBrooks'': Miss Brooks, of course.
763* ''Series/TheOuterLimits1995'': In "Abduction", Cody Phillips continually makes snarky remarks at the expense of Jason, Ray, Brianna and Danielle after they are abducted by aliens. He later admits that he began acting this way as everyone in school picked on him and he wanted to give them a reason for doing so.
764* ''Series/ParksAndRecreation'':
765** April:
766--->'''April''': Can you Photoshop your life with better decisions, Jerry?
767** Ron:
768--->'''Ron''': Of all my coworkers [Andy] is one of a small number of whom I do not actively root against... ugh, there I go again gettin' all sappy.
769** Ben has his moments.
770--->'''Ben''': Wow. The sky is really beautiful.\
771'''Leslie''' (contemplatively): It's pollution from the Sweetums factory. It's gorgeous. But is it worth the asthma?\
772'''Ben''': ''[raises eyebrows incredulously]'' ''No.''
773** Donna, Tom, Ann and before he was PutOnABus, Mark as well. It's easier to count the non-snarkers.
774* Pretty much all of Team Machine on ''[[Series/PersonofInterest Person of Interest]]''. ''Even the dog.''
775* ''Series/PowerRangersRPM'': Tenaya 7 is ''very'' reminiscent of [[WesternAnimation/KimPossible Shego]].
776** A lot of the good guys are snarky as well, such as [[Series/PowerRangersDinoThunder Conner]], [[Series/PowerRangersRPM Dillon]], and [[Series/PowerRangersDinoCharge Kendall]].
777%%* ''Series/PressGang'': Kenny.
778* ''Series/{{Primeval}}'':
779** James Lester, although they made him just a little more compassionate in Series 3. Just.
780** Even in Series 3, he's still quite the snarker. Upon seeing a man who had been [[BodyHorror turned into a sentient fungus]]:
781--->"This'll be difficult to explain to the next of kin... Good news -- he's not technically dead. Bad news -- he's turned into a mushroom."
782** Captain Becker has his moments as well:
783--->(A Diictodon is chirping for some reason)\
784'''Connor:''' What are you trying to say?\
785'''Becker:''' Oh great, he's Doctor Dolittle!
786* ''Series/{{Psych}}'': Shawn Spencer is so deadpan in his snark, he almost comes out the other end to earnestness. In fact his Deadpan Snark is so intensely deadpan that at times you wonder if he actually means what he says, no matter how ridiculous it is. He can even use it on his dad.
787* ''Series/PushingDaisies'': Emerson Cod. Also Lily. Even the usually polite Ned gets in on the act when he's in a really bad mood.
788* ''Series/QueenOfSwords'': Montoya, at times:
789-->'''Captain Grisham:''' We lost them.\
790'''Montoya:''' You will note the complete lack of surprise on my face.
791* ''Series/{{Raven}}'': The title character could be described as one.
792* ''Series/{{Reba}}'': Kyra always seems to have a sarcastic one-liner at the ready in nearly every episode, Reba herself also makes plenty of sarcastic comments, which are usually aimed at either Brock or Barbra Jean. There's also Reba's friend Lori Ann in earlier seasons.
793* ''Series/RedDwarf'':
794** Rimmer on occasion, due to seeing himself as the OnlySaneMan. One sequence sadly lost from the final episode:
795--->'''Cat:''' How do we get to this mirror universe?\
796'''Rimmer:''' You mean because we've got no mode of transport apart from my old bike? Can't Krytie fix some sort of gizmo to the wheel so it crosses dimensions when you go downhill really fast?\
797'''Kochanski:''' You're not helping.\
798'''Rimmer:''' That's not my job.
799** Kochanski herself is also a bit of a Deadpan Snarker, with rather more justification for being the Only Sane Person.
800** It does usually seem to be a Rimmer/Cat exchange, as again in these two examples from ''Gunmen of the Apocalypse'':
801--->'''Cat:''' We don't run, we strike! It's the last thing they'll be expecting!\
802'''Rimmer:''' No-oo, the last thing they'll be expecting is for us to turn into ice skating mongooses and dance the bolero. And your plan makes about as much sense.
803** and
804--->'''Cat:''' Isn't there some way we can turn ourselves into tiny electronic people and get in his head? And if not, WHY not?\
805'''Rimmer:''' Look, we can all bring something to this discussion, but I think what you should bring is ''silence''.
806** Kryten and Holly (male version) also count. Kryten even has a "deadpan mode."
807* ''Series/{{Revolution}}'': Captain Jeremy Baker. And Miles Matheson. Practically every second sentence is some kind of smartass remark about the current state of affairs. To put it simply, every single episode so far has contained at least one instance of this trope.
808* ''Series/SabrinaTheTeenageWitch'': Salem Saberhagen from the 1996-2003 version and its [[WesternAnimation/SabrinaTheAnimatedSeries animated]] SpinOff.
809* ''Series/{{Sanctuary}}'': It's doubtful that there's a member of the Five who doesn't qualify as a Deadpan Snarker, but Tesla is probably the pre-eminent one on grounds of sheer panache.
810* ''Series/SaturdayNightLive'': Most Weekend Update anchors fall into this category -- most visibly [[Creator/NormMacDonald Norm [=MacDonald=]]], Chevy Chase, Tina Fey, and current anchor Seth Meyers. Amy Poehler occasionally dipped into the snark action during her time opposite the latter two, but her Update persona usually vacillated somewhere between OnlySaneMan and {{Cloudcuckoolander}}.
811* ''Series/SchittsCreek'': Many of the characters snark on each other, but Stevie Budd's primary purpose seems to be to snark on the Rose family. Additionally, all the Roses snark on each other now and again depending on who is holding the IdiotBall that week. Additionally, David's boyfriend Patrick likes to snark on him, but he does so in an affectionate way.
812* ''Series/{{Scrubs}}'':
813** Laverne.
814** Dr. Cox gives one-liner snarkiness when he's not ranting.
815*** Dr. Cox is also a Deconstruction since his tendency to snark at everyone has alienated him from everybody and the only people who can stand him for long periods of time are J.D., Jordan and Carla. J.D. because he sees Dr. Cox as a father figure and because he learns alot about how to be a good doctor, Jordan is his ex-wife and long term partner who can be just as bad as him and Carla is the only person he will openly admit is a friend. And even then they have their limits at times.
816** Janitor and Carla:
817--->'''Janitor:''' You seem unhappy. I like that.
818** JD and Elliot have moments of this, and Dr. Kelso and Jordan are quite adept. It's clearly a WorldOfSnark
819* ''Series/SeaPatrol'': Every one of the main cast members can be this but Buffer and [=RO=] stand out.
820* ''Series/TheSecretCircle'':
821** Cassie certainly is this:
822--->'''Jake:''' A storm is coming. ''[storm in the sky]''\
823'''Cassie:''' You think? What gave it away, the clouds or the thunder?
824** Faye is equally snarky.
825** Jake is also a snarky individual.
826** Even Adam has his witty moments.
827* ''Series/{{Seinfeld}}'':
828** Newman and Elaine.
829** Jerry is ''made'' of snark. It's his defining quality -- for example, when he and Kramer started taking on each other's personalities due to an apartment switch, Kramer's non-existent snark level immediately shot up to eleven.
830*** Interestingly, the giant red neon rotisserie sign outside Kramer's window turned Jerry into a Kramer-like {{Cloudcuckoolander}}.
831---->'''Jerry:''' It's like a chicken supernova in there!
832* ''Seriously Weird'': Harris Pemberton, the WeirdnessMagnet protagonist, managed to piss off a god by snarking at him, and that's when [[WorldOfWeirdness everything went to hell]]. He then proceeded to snark at most of the weirdness he was exposed to.
833* ''Series/ShakeItUp'': Has Flynn Jones, a kid who sounds like he's too advanced to be adult:
834-->'''Flynn''': Am I the only mature one around here?
835* ''Series/ShamelessUS'': [[TheAlcoholic Frank]] particularly seems to love this:
836-->'''Frank:''' (walks in on Ian and Mickey having sex) Hello boys. (the two abruptly stop, [[MomentKiller obviously]]) Front door was locked, so I came in the back. No pun intended. ({{Beat}}) You might wanna check the locks.
837** Ian gets his fair share of snark as well, specially in the earlier seasons, [[spoiler: before the whole bipolarity storyline kicks in.]]
838--->'''Fiona:''' Just... tell me you didn't go and get some girl pregnant...\
839'''[[StraightGay Ian]]:''' (smirking) No worries.
840** And Fiona and Lip as well. Hell, even Debbie and Carl too, the entire family is composed of this.
841** Mickey Milkovich, especially in the fourth season, during which his screentime gets notably higher.
842--->'''Mickey:''' Think of it as Kelly's girls. Except instead of Kelly, it's Mickey. And instead of girls, it's whores.
843** Also, [[OddFriendship Mickey and Kevin]] basically communicate in snark.
844--->'''Svetlana:''' What's going on?\
845'''Mickey:''' Steven Seagal here let somebody steal all our cash.\
846'''Kevin:''' That's because your pube-loving husband wasn't doing his job.
847** And since we're talking about Svetlana, although she's usually the receiver of snarky lines from Mickey, she's proven that she can out-snark him anytime:
848--->'''Svetlana:''' They say you're stupid fuckin' idiot!\
849'''Mickey:''' What did you say back?!\
850'''Svetlana:''' That you also have small dick!
851* ''Series/{{Sherlock}}'':
852** The title character of this BBC shows lives and breathes snark, especially in the presence of the police.
853** In reference to an observation made by Anderson: "No, she was leaving an angry note in ''German''. Of ''course'' she was writing Rachel!"
854*** This doubles as a ShoutOut, because in the original short story, the victim '''was''' writing a note in German.
855** While Sherlock probably snarks more ''often'', John Watson is definitely more ''deadpan'' about it -- but then, he ''is'' played by Creator/MartinFreeman (see above).
856*** After being effectively kidnapped and taken to a dark deserted warehouse for interrogation by Sherlock's "Arch Enemy" who is actually [[spoiler:his brother, Mycroft]])
857--->'''Arch Enemy:''' He does love to be dramatic.\
858'''John:''' Well, thank God ''you're'' above all that.
859** And later discussing clever serial killers with Sherlock
860--->'''Sherlock:''' I love the brilliant ones. They're always so desperate to get caught.\
861'''John:''' Why?\
862'''Sherlock:''' Appreciation. Applause. At long last, the spotlight. That's the frailty of genius, John. It needs an audience.\
863'''John:''' ''(who was asked to come along because Sherlock "thinks better out loud", merely raises his eyebrows and mutters)'' Yeah.
864** And again in the second episode, [[NiceJobBreakingItHero which gets him captured.]]
865** He also snarked at his friend for not caring about lives at stake in the third episode.
866* ''Series/ShootingStars'': The Team A captains Mark Lamarr, and later Will Self.
867* ''Series/SirArthurConanDoylesTheLostWorld'': Marguerite can always be counted on for saying something snarky. Roxton usually knows a clever response to whatever she says.
868* ''Series/TheSlammer'': Mr Burgess fills this role, delivering deadpan snark to both the Governor and the audience.
869* ''{{Series/Smallville}}'':
870** There's a few with [[MissionControl Chloe]], [[IntrepidReporter Lois]], [[{{Antihero}} Oliver]], and ''[[Franchise/{{Superman}} Clark]]'' having their moments, but the reigning kings of sarcasm would have to be [=LuthorCorp=]'s CEO's: [[ManipulativeBastard Lex]] and [[MagnificentBastard Lionel]] [[TheFamilyThatSlaysTogether Luthor]], and [[TheBaroness Tess]] [[BrokenBird Mercer]]. Something about the [[CorruptCorporateExecutive job]] seems to induce snark.
871** [[RoboticPsychopath Brainiac]] also has a lot of moments like this. His best moment probably comes when (after having lost most of his powers following a battle with Clark) he is confronted by a very angry Bizarro (who could rip him in half at this point). Being played by Creator/JamesMarsters helps.
872--->'''Bizarro:''' If you're lying to me, I'll finish what Kent started.\
873'''Brainiac:''' Lying to you would be like lying to a mollusk. There's no point.
874** ''Smallville'' could almost be considered a WorldOfSnark, particularly by later seasons in which every single main character as well as important recurring characters like [[AlternateUniverse Lionel]] and [[TheMedic Emil]] (whose snarkiness is sometimes hard to notice but is definitely there) contributes to the sarcasm factor.
875* ''Series/{{Soap}}'': Well, if ''Series/{{Benson}}'' could do it for years, in two different series starting on ''Soap'', then why not Geoffrey too? Benson was the snarky butler side character. On the spin-off, he was the snarky main character. The later butler Saunders, while having a more formal personality, was just as snarky as Benson.
876* ''Series/SpaceCases'': Bova:
877-->'''Harlan:''' I'm tired of running from the Spung! This time they're going to know they've been in a fight!\
878'''Bova:''' Oh, yeah, they'll be scraping us off their windshields saying, "Some fight, huh?"
879* ''Series/StargateAtlantis'':
880** In situations of stress, Rodney [=McKay=] cranks up the snark, at one point sarcastically saying "I foolishly left my TimeMachine back on Earth. Did you bring yours?" while in a ticking time bomb situation. He is also apt to point out repeatedly the sheer impossibility of the plans Sheppard comes up with. This tendency has actually been toned down since the character's original appearances in ''SG-1''. For further irony, [[spoiler:he really does have a time machine back on Earth. Okay, it's not "his", but he found it.]]
881** Todd the Wraith, being the only known Wraith in the galaxy with a sense of humor, seems to enjoy snarking at the human characters.
882--->'''Todd''': They seem to have jumped to a new location.\
883'''Sheppard''': Why would they do that?\
884'''Todd''': I don't know. ''I'm'' not on the ship.
885* ''Series/StargateSG1'':
886** It's pretty easy to miss, but if you go back and play close attention to those 175 episodes (that's the number of times he shows up), you may just notice that in the course of over a decade, despite having more sense of humor than his remaining teammates put together, Jack O'Neill has rarely ever cracked so much as a smirk. When pointed out to him that a character "does not know fear", he exclaims, "Yeah, well, he knows stupid!"
887--->'''Ba'al:''' You dare mock me?\
888'''O'Neill:''' Ba'al, come on. You should know . ''Of course'' I dare mock you.
889** And this gem:
890--->'''O'Neill:''' I've got a better idea. Instead of helping you, why don't we sit around and watch you get your ass kicked? That way you'll be dead, and we'll be glad.\
891'''Ba'al:''' You cannot be serious.\
892'''O'Neill:''' Yes, I can. I just choose not to, some of the time.\
893'''Ba'al:''' With your insolence you're dooming not just your world but all of humanity.\
894'''O'Neill:''' I think big.
895** ..and an earlier one:
896--->'''O'Neill:''' Can't help you there. That's between you and your god. Oh, wait a minute! You are your god! That's a problem.
897** Daniel Jackson had a fair few snarky lines as well.
898--->'''Dr. Markov:''' If you're implying that everything Russian-made is of poor quality, actually, the sub is Swiss.\
899'''Jackson:''' So it occasionally catches fire but keeps perfect time?
900*** (He apologizes by saying he's been spending too much time with Jack...)
901*** In "The Shroud", he's so unbelievably sarcastic, at least half his lines are this trope. He gets it in return too.
902*** Daniel also gets a lot of snarking done in "Crystal Skull". He's out of phase (so can't be heard or seen) for most of the episode, and in his frustration gives a lot of sarcastic responses to things the cast says that are obvious (to him) or just plain incorrect.
903** O'Neill's successor Cameron Mitchell also gets his share of these moments in both ''SG-1'' and ''Film/StargateTheArkOfTruth''.
904--->'''Prior:''' Foolhardy are those who do not follow the path.\
905'''Mitchell:''' Anyone want to bet what he's gonna say next?\
906'''Prior:''' Kill them.\
907'''Mitchell:''' Could've made money on that one.
908** Which is eerily similar to a scene in ''Series/{{Farscape}}'' where Mitchell's actor Ben Browder made a similar "easy money" bet with D'argo about the approaching shuttle having Scorpius aboard.
909** When he wasn't trying (and failing) to grasp the more boisterous type of Earth humor, every single line of Teal'c's that was intentionally funny on his part was deadpan snark.
910* ''Series/Stargirl2020'': Courtney. Not as much as some heroes, but she definitely makes her fair share of sarcastic remarks.
911* ''Series/StarTrekDeepSpaceNine'':
912** Kira Nerys:
913--->'''Bashir:''' ''(goes on a long-winded spiel about how [[InsufferableGenius Fate has granted him the gift to be a healer]])''\
914'''Kira!''' ''(dryly)'' I feel honored to be in your presence.
915** Also Odo, especially in response to ''anything'' Quark says. Or, occasionally, just because.
916--->'''O'Brien:''' What was he doing in a runabout at four in the morning?\
917'''Odo:''' Apparently, he was getting murdered.
918** A particularly good example of Odo's snark toward Quark comes when the Klingons are about to invade the station and Quark refuses to evacuate, declaring that he'll use his disrupter pistol to defend his bar. Then he opens a box to retrieve the pistol...and discovers only a note from his brother Rom saying that he dismantled the pistol for parts to repair the bar's replicator.
919--->'''Quark:''' I will ''kill'' him!\
920'''Odo:''' With what?
921** Garak responds to anything and everything (from friendly remarks to mortal danger) with bucketloads of perfectly-executed snark. He is the show's resident WildCard MagnificentBastard, so it's not surprising. Yes, this does mean any scene with Odo and Garak together is full of [[SnarkToSnarkCombat snark win]].
922* ''Series/StarTrekEnterprise'': Malcolm Reed pulls off quite a few of these over the series.
923-->"This is called a phase pistol. It has two settings: 'stun' and 'kill'. It would be best not to confuse them."
924* ''Series/StarTrekTheNextGeneration'':
925** Cmdr. Riker is unquestionably the Snarker-In-Chief aboard the Enterprise-D.
926** Meanwhile, there is Q, who doubles as MagnificentBastard in many regards.
927** In one episode, Dr. Crusher and Captain Picard are captured and implanted with devices. As they attempt to escape, they soon realize they can hear each other's thoughts. As it turns out, Dr. Crusher is apparently quite the snarker, but she manages to avoid speaking her mind. Somewhat subverted in that the audience never gets to hear what they're thinking, so we only have Picard's word for it. On the other hand, when she's [[CharacterFocus in focus]], this pops up from time to time, especially in later seasons.
928** Geordi La Forge delivered quite a few sarcastic quips, usually the "blink and you miss it" sort. And the VISOR hiding his eyes made it all that much easier to miss.
929** Picard himself gets into this often, especially when Q is around, often leading to SnarkToSnarkCombat between the two.
930* ''Series/StarTrekTheOriginalSeries'':
931** Dr. [=McCoy=] and Spock have both been this a few times.
932** To quote Sulu in "The Corbomite Maneuver": "You try to cross brains with Spock, he'll cut you to pieces every time."
933** Even Scotty pulls off a few deadpan snarks.
934--->'''Montgomery Scott:''' The keyboard. How quaint.
935** Kirk has his moments, when he's not losing his shirt and making out with alien babes. Two from "The Trouble With Tribbles", both dealing with the same ObstructiveBureaucrat:
936--->'''Nilz Baris:''' Kirk, this station is swarming with Klingons!\
937'''Kirk:''' I was not aware, Mr. Baris, that twelve Klingons constitutes a swarm.\
938'''Nilz Baris:''' Captain Kirk, I consider your security measures a disgrace. In my opinion, you have taken this entire very important project far too lightly.\
939'''Kirk:''' On the contrary, sir. I think of this project as very important. It is ''you'' I take lightly.
940* ''Series/StarTrekVoyager'':
941** Seven of Nine, the Doctor, and Tuvok. Indeed, Tuvok was often ''very'' sarcastic for a Vulcan who supposedly eschews emotions. T'Pol on ''Enterprise'' had the same problem.
942** Given that Spock, T'Pol, and Tuvok ''all'' did it, it's pretty safe to say it's not an uncommon trait in Vulcans, or at least those that regularly deal with other species. Indeed, Spock's father even gets in on it in his appearances.
943* ''Series/StarTrekDiscovery'' adds its own contribution to the franchise by way of Jett Reno.
944--->'''Reno:''' You don't know me, doc. I'm un-insultable. Especially by a guy who thinks he can run a ship on mushrooms that I pick off my pizza.
945* ''Series/{{Stitchers}}'':
946** Kirsten gets her moments:
947--->'''Cameron:''' You're not supposed to be able to touch things. It's an intangible.\
948'''Kirsten:''' Oh I'm sorry, did I break your super-secret technology?
949* ''Series/TheSuiteLifeOfZackAndCody'': And, keeping with this theme, Mr. Moseby. Maddie, Zack, and Bailey (Suite Life On Deck) fall into this trope too.
950* ''Series/{{Supernatural}}'':
951** Dean is the show's primary Deadpan Snarker, usually unfailingly cynical and quick to add sarcasm to nearly any given situation.
952** Sam is also this occasionally, but not nearly as much as his brother.
953** Crowley. Practically every line of his dialogue is [[SarcasmMode perpetually sarcastic]].
954** Bobby. ''Of course''.
955** Ruby also showcased this during her run on the show.
956** Also Nick, [[spoiler:the vessel for Lucifer.]]
957--->'''Lucifer:''' My name is Lucifer.\
958'''Nick:''' Sure... naturally. Uh. Could you do me a favor there, Satan, and remind me to quit drinking before I go to bed?
959** Gabriel and Lucifer himself are also adept snark masters, being one of the few angels to actually ''understand'' sarcasm.
960* ''Talk Soup'': The various hosts of this E! network show (Greg Kinnear, John Henson, Aisha Tyler, etc.) were all about this trope.
961* ''Series/TeenWolf'': The whole cast in spades, but special props go to Mrs. [=McCall=].
962* ''Series/TerminatorTheSarahConnorChronicles'': Derek Reese and Cameron trade off on this role. In the latter's case, both the deadpanning ''and'' the snark are probably entirely involuntary, as sarcasm is entirely lost on her.
963-->'''Morris:''' Is this your car?\
964'''Cameron:''' No, it belongs to the guy I killed and stuffed in the trunk.\
965'''Morris:''' ... ''(turns to John)'' Your sister is dark, man.
966* ''Series/That70sShow'':
967** Both Hyde and Red fit this trope perfectly.
968** Hyde and Laurie talking about Laurie's room.
969--->'''Hyde''': It's a little girly.\
970'''Laurie''': That's because it's a girl's room, Hyde.\
971'''Hyde''': Oh, so all those guys were just passing through?
972** Eric does this a lot too. Red comments that Eric gets his smart mouth from his mother.
973--->'''Kelso:''' OK, fine, but when you guys see my footprints on the moon, what are you gonna say then?\
974'''Eric:''' Hey, some monkey is wearing Kelso's shoes!
975** Even Donna gets in on this once in a while.
976* ''Series/ThatMetalShow'': All three hosts have their moments, but Jim Florentine is a master.
977* Creator/LouisTheroux often does this in his documentaries. Usually he's comparatively low-key about it, keeping it to voiceovers and the occasional StealthInsult, but even he couldn't hold back when faced with some anti-Semitic arguments by members of the Westboro Baptist Church:
978-->'''Steve Drain:''' The Jews killed Christ! You're going to try to tell me that they worship the same God that I do?\
979'''Louis Theroux:''' Newsflash, brainiac: Christ was Jewish.
980* ''Series/ThisIsWonderland'': Crown Attorney David Kaye, who also happens to be just a little {{Ambiguously|Gay}} {{Camp|Gay}}.
981* ''The Tonight Show with Jay Leno'': A certain character played by Jay Leno during the 1990's... the genius Mr Brain.
982* ''Series/TopGear'' and ''Series/TheGrandTour'': James May. His humor is so dry you'll want a glass of water, and serves as a brilliant counterpoint to his more excitable co-presenters.
983-->'''Jeremy Clarkson:''' James, when I first met you, I thought you were ugly. And now, I still think you're ugly.
984-->'''May:''' A crushing criticism from one so handsome.
985* ''Series/{{Torchwood}}'':
986** Ianto Jones, especially as he gained more screentime:
987--->'''Tosh:''' If we knew how it worked, we could feed the world!\
988'''Ianto:''' We could release a single...
989** In "Sleeper", Ianto consistently snarks about the mind reading machine:
990--->'''Tosh:''' ''[upon seeing Jack bring it out]'' You said we weren't allowed to use that again!\
991'''Jack:''' It's just a mind probe.\
992'''Ianto:''' Remember what happened last time you used it?\
993'''Jack:''' That was different, that species has extremely high blood pressure.\
994'''Ianto:''' Oh, their heads must explode all the time.\
995'''Ianto:''' ''[sits down in mind reading machine chair and vibrates, making a buzzing noise]''
996*** "Sleeper" also gives us this gem:
997---->'''Tosh:''' No, I can't just hook something up! The entire telephone network is down.\
998'''Owen:''' What about a mobile connection?\
999'''Tosh:''' The. Entire. Telephone. Network. Is down!\
1000'''Ianto:''' Mobiles, landlines, tin cans with bits of string, everything, absolutely everything: no phones, phones all broken. [pantomimes answering the phone] Hello? Anyone there? No! Cause the phones aren't working!
1001** In "Out of Time":
1002--->'''Ianto:''' It's automatic. It knows you're there. There are wave-bouncing detectors which emit high-frequency radio waves....\
1003'''Diane:''' Ooh look, bananas!\
1004'''Ianto:''' Of course, bananas are far more interesting.
1005* ''Series/TrueBlood'': Tara, Pam, and Eric. Also Lafayette. To be honest, everyone on the show gets in some snarking at one time or another.
1006* ''Series/TwoAndAHalfMen'': Dr. Freeman (Jane Lynch). Also from the main cast: Charlie, Evelyn, and Bertha. Alan and Jake each get their share of snarks as well.
1007* ''Series/Ultraviolet1998'': Jack Davenport's character Michael Colefield in this UK miniseries.
1008* ''Series/TheUmbrellaAcademy'': Pretty much all of the core seven characters are this to an absurd degree, most likely as a result of being raised by [[AbusiveParents Reginald]], but special mention goes to ''Five Hargreeves''. Half of what comes out of his mouth is biting snark, and he has the constant effect of SurroundedByIdiots basically all the time. [[spoiler: This naturally extends to his future self, causing them to engage in SnarkToSnarkCombat.]]
1009-->'''Five:''' ''[looking at a newspaper headline of Reginald’s death]'' Guess I missed the funeral.\
1010'''Luther:''' How’d you know about that?\
1011'''Five:''' What part of "the future" do you not understand?
1012* ''[[Series/{{Underbelly}} Underbelly's]]'' Jacqui James would go from Purana detective to narrator for most of the series based on this, her dry sarcastic quips echoing the ''Leadbelly'' authors' more humorous observations, from the idea of her superior being a little soft in the head [[RunningGag (he offered detectives, suspects and witnesses shortbread for some reason or another)]] to trying not to laugh at a young Alphonse walking across the hood of police cars cultivating himself the image of Mr. Big.
1013* ''Series/TheVampireDiaries'': Damon. Occasionally Stefan, Caroline and Katherine as well. By Season 4, Elena is quickly catching up. Her fatalism is showing and she IS related to Katherine. In addition, the Originals are a family of snarkers. All of them: Klaus, Elijah, Kol, Rebekah...
1014* ''Series/VeronicaMars'': Pick a character. Any character.
1015* ''Series/VictoriaWoodAsSeenOnTV'': Creator/SusieBlake's character, a network {{continuity announce|ment}}r, is constantly quipping sarcastic burns without changing her expression, although given her perpetual {{Stepford Smile|r}} it shades into CuteButPsycho.
1016* ''Series/{{Victorious}}'': Jade and [[SnarkyNonhumanSidekick Rex]].
1017* ''Series/WaterlooRoad'': Though many or most characters have their moments, first, second and third prizes have to go to Brett Aspinall.
1018* ''Series/TheWestWing'':
1019** Jed Bartlet has a lot of this going on. His response to learning that his Vice President is a recovering alcoholic: "Is there anyone around here who's ''not''?" Being President of the United States means that people let you get away with it a bit more.
1020** It's almost impossible for Bartlet to not throw out a deadpan snark at the very ''least'' once an episode. Plus, he can often turn them into [[SugarWiki/MomentOfAwesome CMoAs]]. His take on the logic of [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5-zhNiGlogQ homophobia as per the Bible's teachings]], anyone?
1021** This is actually very common form of humor in ''The West Wing'', expect it at least once an episode, and not just from Bartlett but from his staff as well. CJ once gave such a deadpan response that she offended Mandy who took her seriously.
1022* ''Series/WheelOfFortune'': Pat Sajak, full stop. When he's not going for SelfDeprecation, he'll usually deadpan something, like jokingly asking a very loud contestant to "speak up", or saying something like "now this is going to be really tough" when a contestant's letters reveal the bonus puzzle entirely.
1023* ''Series/TheWire'': Many, but Bunk Moreland is the most prominent:
1024-->'''Rhonda:''' ''[reading an affidavit]'' You all cannot spell for shit.\
1025'''Bunk:''' Well, would we be police if we could?
1026* ''Series/{{Wiseguy}}'': Vinnie Terranova's OCB [[TheHandler handler]] Frank [=McPike=].
1027-->"You [=McPike=]?"\
1028"Most of my life. In 3rd grade I was Batman, but that seems to have passed."
1029* ''Series/WizardsOfWaverlyPlace'': Siblings Justin Russo and Alex Russo, despite of the fact that they are "OrderVersusChaos".
1030* ''Series/WKRPInCincinnati'': Everyone was this at one point or another -- even Les:
1031-->'''Jennifer:''' Well, Les? Don't you have a "line" for me?\
1032'''Les:''' "Hi. I'm fabulously wealthy."
1033* ''Series/{{Wonderfalls}}'': Jaye definitely fits this one. Mahandra sometimes too. In fact dead pan snark is a staple for Brian Fuller: George and Rube on ''Series/DeadLikeMe'' and Emerson Cod on ''Series/PushingDaisies'' fit this one as well.
1034* ''Series/TheXFiles'':
1035** Both Mulder and Scully can be this; Scully usually makes snarky remarks at the wacky ideas Mulder suggests, while Mulder snarks at everything.
1036--->'''Scully:''' Mulder, toads just fell from the sky!\
1037'''Mulder:''' I guess their parachutes didn't open.
1038** A Scully snark moment from Season 3's "Pusher":
1039--->'''Mulder:''' Modell psyched the guy out, he put the whammy on him!\
1040'''Scully:''' Please explain to me the scientific nature of 'the whammy'.
1041** Or from the episode Redux II:
1042--->'''Mulder (upon seeing the Cigarette Smoking Man in a hospital):''' "Please tell me you're here with severe chest pains."
1043* ''Series/XPlay'': Adam Sessler and Morgan Webb do this all the time, especially when they review games that they give a 2 out of 5, and more so when it is a 1 out of 5.
1044* ''Series/YearsAndYears'': Most of the Lyons family make snarky remarks, though Muriel has the most. Almost everything she says is sarcastic in fact.
1045* ''Series/YesMinister'': Bernard has a good knack for this (although, they're often followed by an apologetic gesture because he ''is'' talking to his superiors). Jim Hacker and Sir [[TheHumphrey Humphrey]] also tend to throw them in.
1046* ''Series/YouMeHer'':
1047** Izzy, Nina and Ava especially like to drop many sarcastic comments when they dislike things going on.
1048** Shaun, Nina's boss, occasionally gets sarcastic too, such as exclaiming over when Nina (who's usually a slacker) began cleaning the bar in a hyperdramatic way after seeing it.
1049** Later on, Will rarely says anything that isn't a sarcastic remark.
1050* ''Series/YoungDracula'':
1051** If there isn't one major snark moment in an episode, apparently CBBC declares it an episode wasted. Accordingly several characters -- the Count, Ingrid, Zoltan -- snark every time they open their mouths, and [[WorldOfSnark pretty much every single character has their moments.]]
1052** Ingrid, when she and Vlad are tied up as hostages in Van Helsing's caravan:
1053--->'''Robin:''' What're you doing?\
1054'''Ingrid:''' Having a sing along, what does it look like?
1055** The Count, when Van Helsing has disguised himself as a woman (in very pantomime-dame fashion) to infiltrate the Dracula castle:
1056--->'''Van Helsing:''' We'll meet again, soon.\
1057'''Count Dracula:''' Can't wait. By the way, love the dress!\
1058'''Ivan:''' We'll start small, just a few cute bunnies.\
1059'''Boris:''' You mean kill them?\
1060'''Count Dracula:''' No, take them synchronised swimming, of course kill them!
1061** Zoltan:
1062--->'''Robin:''' Should you do what's best for yourself or what's best for your friends?\
1063'''Zoltan:''' Ah, most people would say you should put the wellbeing of others before your own. Look at me, I have never been selfish. And now... I'm stuffed, ignored, mounted on wheels.
1064* ''Život a doba soudce A.K.'' (Life and Time of the Judge A.K.): A Czech TV series following personal life and cases of a judge. A good part of the series is the protagonist's inner monologue snarking on everyone involved in the case of the week.

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