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1'''''Globelink Staff'''''
2
3!Gus Hedges
4->'''Portrayed by:''' Robert Duncan
5The management speak spouting 'hands-off' chief executive at Globelink News, Gus constantly reminds his staff "I'm not here." If only. Constantly meddling with broadcasts and bulletins to ensure their proprietor comes out on top, Gus has no real friends at the office and is often shown to be desperately lonely.
6
7* BeleagueredAssistant: To Sir Royston Merchant.
8* BreakTheHaughty: When events begin to get on top of him, such as the Prime Minister's impending visit.
9* TheDogBitesBack: [[spoiler: To Sir Royston in the last episode, but his epic rant is cut short.]]
10* ManipulativeBastard: In several episodes he shows that he is quite competent in getting the employees to accept pay cuts or dropping stories he doesn't want to see broadcast.
11* {{Neologizer}}: His poke like this almost to the point of unintelligibility as part of his "management speak". The character was a parody of all the phrase-coining 90s managers who seemed to believe making up new expressions would change the workplace. Sadly for Gus, it never worked.
12* SanitySlippage: As the nature of Truth News' backers in the stage show begins to out, his mental state becomes even more unbalanced than usual. He ends the show being wheeled offstage, speaking gibberish and clutching Dimbles the teddy bear.
13* SmugSnake
14* SympathyForTheDevil: Often shown as a deeply lonely, insecure individual whose attempts to reach out to his colleagues are met with bafflement or frustration.
15* TheUnfavourite: To his brother Julian.
16* YesMan: A bona fide kiss-ass.
17
18!George Dent
19->'''Portrayed by:''' Jeff Rawle
20The put-upon editor of Globelink, George is constantly beset by problems from his staff, his manipulative wife, his borderline-psychotic daughter Deborah, and his own ever increasing mystery illnesses. You wouldn't be mistaken to think there're invertebrates with more backbone than him.
21
22* ButtMonkey: Can ''not'' catch a break.
23* TheDogBitesBack: On occasion, such as paying his daughter to wreck Damien's Porsche, or hiring a call-girl to ruin his ex-wife's wedding.
24* EarnYourHappyEnding: After not being able to catch a break for most of his life, George ends the stage show about to be married to his caring Korean girlfriend.
25* HenpeckedHusband: Well, less 'henpecked' and more 'emotionally abused'.
26* IncompatibleOrientation: Has a crush on Helen in Series 3 and asks her out, but Helen refuses to on the basis that she is a lesbian. George has difficulty with this, thinking that she's faking being a lesbian to spare his feelings.
27* InsecureLoveInterest: [[spoiler: With Sue in Series 6.]]
28* LockedOutOfTheLoop
29* NervousWreck: Is suffering from a variety of anxiety issues and hypochondria, no doubt not helped by his poor marriage.
30* PapaWolf [[spoiler: When Deborah joins a gang of muggers, George threatens their leader with a toasting fork until he sings the Birdie Song (with actions).]]
31
32!Alex Pates
33->'''Portrayed by:''' Haydn Gwynne
34George's second, the assistant editor (who frequently does most of the legwork). PutOnABus between series two and three.
35
36* AmazinglyEmbarrassingParents: Her mother makes a number of increasingly silly phone calls throughout the second season, unseen until the season two finale.
37* DeadpanSnarker: Usually has a cynical barb for any situation.
38* TheCynic: The most cynical member of the team until Joy shows up.
39* HyperCompetentSidekick: Is usually this to the somewhat ineffectual George.
40* NotSoAboveItAll: While generally the most responsible member of the team, she's occasionally shown to be almost as bad as the rest of them at times.
41* OnlySaneMan: Well, Woman.
42* PutOnABus: Leaves Globelink for the BBC after series 2.
43
44!Helen Cooper
45->'''Portrayed by:''' Ingrid Lacey
46Brought in to replace Alex, she quickly attracts the attention of both George and Dave, only to reveal [[spoiler: she's actually a lesbian]].
47
48* CureYourGays: Toyed with, then averted.
49* DeadpanSnarker
50* KickTheDog: In the stage show, she sells the story behind Truth News to the tabloids in order to get enough money to pay off her debt. Understandable, but this also threatens George's relationship, to which she simply replies "It's George, it was never going to work."
51* OnlySaneMan: Takes Alex's place as this.
52* NotSoAboveitAll: After chiding the office for spying on Dave, she breaks down and asks '[[ItMakesSenseinContext are you screwing Diana or not?]]
53* QueerEstablishingMoment: Gets one in "The New Newsreader" when George asks her out and she refuses, telling him that she already has someone and that it's not a man. George... struggles to comprehend this revelation.
54* SuspiciouslySimilarSubstitute: Initially for Alex, later averted as she is fleshed out.
55
56! Damien Day
57->'''Portrayed by:''' Creator/StephenTompkinson
58Sensationalist field reporter, always willing to embellish the truth in his reports, often to the detriment and frequent injury of his cameraman.
59
60* AlliterativeName: '''D'''amien '''D'''ay.
61* CelibateHero: Until Series 4, he was a virgin, claiming to be more interested in disasters than sex.
62* ComedicSociopath: His sometimes cruel way of reporting is largely PlayedForLaughs. He is even described in an episode as "psychotic, but stress-free!"
63* EmpathyDollShot: Uses his own teddy bear for these, and credits “Dimbles” with winning four awards.
64* FreudianExcuse: Made clear in the episode with his mother, where it is revealed that her poor treatment of him led to the psychopath we know and love today.
65* ObfuscatingDisability: He spends much of the stage show in a wheelchair, with most of the characters doubting him - even after Dave tips him out of the chair. Finally, he stands up during a particularly impassioned speech live on air - gaining him the ire of the disabled community.
66* SympathyForTheDevil: Sensationalist, arrogant and amoral he may be, but you can't help but feel sorry for him what with his [[FreudianExcuse depressing childhood, horrible mum]] and [[spoiler:especially his depressing fate in the end]].
67* UltimateJobSecurity: The source of most of Globelink's ratings, they can't afford to lose him.
68* WellDoneSonGuy: Has been desperate for his mother's attention and approval since he was a child. The stage show reveals he never gained it, and she even barred him from her funeral.
69
70! Dave Charnley
71->'''Portrayed by:''' Neil Pearson
72Ladies man, particularly if the lady is married to another staff member. Dave frequently finds himself in debt to various creditors due to his gambling problems.
73
74* TheCasanova: With a preference for married women.
75* TheGamblingAddict: Constantly running bets and pools in the office and a fair collection of debts throughout the series.
76* HeterosexualLifePartners: With Henry.
77* JerkWithAHeartOfGold: One of the nicer members of staff, but is just as much of a cynical DeadpanSnarker as the rest of them.
78* LadyKillerInLove: With Helen, and later with a married member of staff named Julie.
79* ReallyGetsAround: If he's not gambling, he's usually trying to get with someone.
80* ThoseTwoGuys: Is usually this with Henry.
81
82! Henry Davenport
83->'''Portrayed by:''' David Swift
84The respected older anchorman at Globelink, Henry is constantly frustrated at the antics of 'pre-pubescent holograms' in politics and the media business. He has a particularly acidic relationship with fellow anchor Sally Smedley.
85
86* DirtyOldMan: Despite being in his early 60s by the end of the series, is constantly trying (and occasionally succeeding) to pull women 40 years younger than him.
87* FriendlyEnemy: By the end of the series, he's this with Sally (although he would never admit to the "friendly" part).
88* HeterosexualLifePartners: With Dave.
89* KavorkaMan: Likely due to him being a famous newsreader.
90* LargeHam: Seems to approach life as if he was on stage.
91* PetTheDog: After Sally [[spoiler: has a miscarriage]], he checks that no one is watching before crossing over and making a sincere apology. Averted for laughs another time [[spoiler: when he lays into Gus for leading Sally on into believing he was romantically interested in her when he was only using her as practice for another date, though he was more angry at him for making him feel sympathy to her.]]
92* SophisticatedAsHell: Eloquent, posh and swears like a sailor.
93* TheCharacterDiedWithHim: Passed away prior to the events of the stage adaptation due to David Swift's death in 2016. George managed to [[TheFunInFuneral fall in the grave, dragging the priest with him.]]
94
95! Sally Smedley
96->'''Portrayed by:''' Victoria Wicks
97Part of a new wave of attractive but untalented new personnel, Sally is calm and reassuring on camera, but off-camera is vacuous and selfish, disliked by most of her colleagues, particularly Henry.
98
99* AbusiveParents: Her parents ignored her for her entire childhood so she was raised by her grandmother - who, among other things, locked her in a cellar full of rats as a young child.
100* BrainlessBeauty: Pretty enough that she was brought on for her looks, but not quite intelligent enough to be a serious news reporter, much to the annoyance of her fellow staff members.
101* BreakTheHaughty: Many an episode features other characters attempting to do this to her.
102* TheChewToy: In later series, usually gets humiliated OnceAnEpisode.
103* FriendlyEnemy: With Henry (although, like Henry, she would never admit to the "friendly" part).
104* GoldDigger: In the last few episodes of the series, she hooks up with a wealthy but extremely controlling businessman, who's a complete ass to her to say the least. [[spoiler:Though, she only goes through with it due to his weak heart and good chance of dropping dead at any moment.]]
105* JerkassWoobie: Selfish, unpleasant, homophobic and egotistical, but once you find out about her childhood she gets a ''bit'' more sympathetic.
106* ReallyGetsAround: Particularly with lorry drivers.
107* SecondEpisodeIntroduction: Isn't introduced until "Sally's Arrival", which was the second episode of the series.
108* StepfordSmiler: Is implied to be a deeply sad person underneath.
109* SympathyForTheDevil: [[spoiler: After her miscarriage.]]
110* WeWantOurJerkBack: During her brief stint as a Christian.
111
112! Joy Merryweather
113->'''Portrayed by:''' Susannah Doyle
114The incredibly effective PA for Globelink, Joy is, however, a borderline sociopath with a tendency to enact creative revenge plots on those who slight her.
115
116* CharacterisationMarchesOn: Is merely cynical and surly in her debut in series 2, however from series 3 onward she's much more vindictive and violent.
117* ComedicSociopathy
118* DeadpanSnarker
119* DefrostingIceQueen: With Dave during her Gladiators training, and with Vivian the artist. Both involve the men using her for their own purposes, which naturally doesn't end well.
120* DoesNotLikeMen
121* FreudianExcuse: Lived with an alcoholic father and a drug addict mother.
122* TheGadfly: Loves to mess around with her coworkers, mostly ForTheLulz, but sometimes she targets those who genuinely deserve it. Her troll-like nature reaches new heights in the stage show, where despite having become a wealthy artist she accepts a job at Gus' Truth News purely to cause trouble.
123* IronicName: ''Joy Merryweather'', she's anything but her namesake. Even lampshaded by Dave.
124* JerkWithAHeartofGold: Hidden very deeply, she takes care of her homeless brother who treats her with nothing but abuse.
125* JerkassWoobie: Is violent, cynical, vindictive and borderline sociopathic but considering how crappy her childhood and even her adult life is it's hard not to feel sorry for her.
126* VitriolicBestBuds: Sometimes with Dave and Helen.
127
128! Gerry
129->'''Portrayed by:''' Andy Hamilton
130Damien's cameraman.
131
132* CreatorCameo: He is voiced by Andy Hamilton, one of the two writers.
133* IronButtMonkey: Put through ''extreme'' abuse during Damien's reports.
134* TheUnseen: Except in the ChristmasSpecial where he appears wrapped entirely in bandages.
135
136'''''Recurring Characters'''''
137
138! Sir Royston Merchant
139->'''Portrayed by:''' Roger Hammond
140The new owner of Globelink News, a terrifying, corrupt figure who owns much of the British media.
141* TheFaceless: Briefly averted in the finale.
142* FatBastard
143* JerkWithAHeartOfJerk: In the final episode a distraught Gus breaks into Sir Royston's well-guarded mansion to speak to his boss, who acts like he's willing to hear him out...then drops a steel door in front of Gus's face.
144* NoCelebritiesWereHarmed: UsefulNotes/RupertMurdoch and Robert Maxwell, who both share his initials as well.
145
146
147! Margaret
148->'''Portrayed by:'''
149George's often-mentioned wife, who proceeds to put him through hell before demanding a divorce and taking most of his possessions.
150* TheFaceless: Briefly averted in the finale.
151* JerkAss: She is really not kind to her husband, telling him that he was the one who put her off men and shrugging off his attempts at a RomanticCandlelitDinner.
152* ManipulativeBitch: Particularly in the finale.
153* TheVoiceless
154
155! Deborah Dent
156->'''Portrayed by:''' Louisa Milwood-Haigh
157George's out-of-control teenage daughter.
158
159* AttentionWhore: Alex speculates that her borderline sociopathic behavior is an attempt to get attention from her father.
160* BadPeopleAbuseAnimals: One of the indicators that she is a case of TeensAreMonsters is that she's has a history of abusing animals - in "Deborah's Daughter", George is reluctant to leave her at home after ''something'' she did with their hamster, whilst "Henry and Dido" stated that she dissected a live rabbit and did ''something'' involving cat and kerosine.
161* ComedicSociopathy: Her borderline sociopathic tendencies are PlayedForLaughs for the most part.
162* EnfanteTerrible: Some of her actions would impress ComicBook/TheJoker.
163* JerkassHasAPoint: TeensAreMonsters she may be, but she does have a point when she accuses her father of simply caving into the demands of others.
164* JerkWithAHeartOfGold: She does love her Dad, she just conceals it very well.
165* TeensAreMonsters: Being 13 years old, she's constantly being suspended from school, has a history of arson, and abuses animals.
166
167! Roy Merchant Jr.
168->'''Portrayed by:''' Creator/DavidTroughton
169Sir Royston's only son, he is sent in in the final series to assess whether the business is worth saving.
170
171* BearerOfBadNews: Tells Globelink [[spoiler: they are being shut down.]]
172* PunchClockVillain: His actions are all about keeping his inheritance and following his fathers wishes, otherwise he is a perfectly affable individual who is very apologetic at the bad news he is forced to deliver.
173* SiblingRivalry: Forced to fight with siblings Octavia and Roystonia for his inheritance.
174* VerbalTic: When try to mention his f..ff...father. He later refers to him as his [[spoiler: f..ff..fucking dad!]].
175** Made all the more amusing when you remember his actor's own father is Creator/PatrickTroughton, aka [[TheNthDoctor The Second Doctor]].

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