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6
7{{Badass Boast}}s in webcomics.
8----
9
10* ''Webcomic/EightBitTheater'':
11** [[AWizardDidIt Sarda]], [[{{Jerkass}} of all people]]:
12--->'''Sarda:''' "Wizard?" Are you kidding me? '''Wizards''' do parlor tricks. '''I''' throttle the heavens!
13** And another, [[spoiler:though subverted in that he's wrong and shortly explodes]].
14--->'''Sarda:''' This...this isn't right... this... will not be... I am Sarda. And I am older than time. I possess a power beyond mortal imagination. My plans will not be undone by such amateur-hour [[PrecisionFStrike horse shit]] as [[PhlebotinumOverload absorbing too much power and exploding]]. [[AGodAmI I am Sarda. My will be done]].
15** Not to mention:
16--->'''Black Mage:''' Can we have a minute?\
17'''Chaos:''' I am the yawning chasm from before the before; the darkness after the end of all things. I am nothing and no thing is eternal.\
18'''Black Mage:''' ...is that a yes?
19** [[http://www.nuklearpower.com/2004/08/26/episode-455-self-fulfilling-stupidity/ "Yeah, I sweat wisdom for breakfast."]]
20* ''Webcomic/The10Doctors'': [[http://comics.shipsinker.com/2009/02/16/the-10-doctors-page-185/ Dalek Tor is supreme]].
21* In ''Webcomic/TheAdventuresOfDrMcNinja'', Dr. [=McNinja=] does this on his sidekick's behalf. To {{Dracula}}, no less.
22-->'''[=Dr. McNinja=]:''' Do you think I run around with a '''12-year-old boy''' because I like his inferior grasp of girls and higher level math? Do you think I left him with my psychotic parents because I wanted him to '''die'''? No, you undead pale ponce! Gordito is the effing Badass Kid! So go ahead and finish up your masterful scheme to make me let you kill me, because Gordito's going to slap around whatever ghost lackey you have like he was a pinata on the mexican day of the dead!
23* In ''Webcomic/BobAndGeorge'''s [[http://www.bobandgeorge.com/archives/000402 first actual gag]], Megaman is reeling this off to a villain, with steadily decreasing confidence.
24* ''Webcomic/BreakingCatNews'': When the cats start Naptime Championship Wrestling, Elvis and Lupin have some interesting ones.
25-->'''Elvis''': I'm the prince of pounce, the duke of puke, the Siamese you cannot please, Mommy's special boy, Elvis! And I'm coming for you, Lupin!\
26'''Lupin''': Elvis, I'll fight you anytime, anywhere. Outside the nursery door, under the baby's crib, on the baby's bookcase, YOU NAME IT!
27* ''Webcomic/CharbyTheVampirate'': When [[WeirdnessMagnet Zeno]] is freaking out over endangering his newfound friends:
28--> '''Charby:''' I don't think we've been properly introduced. I'm Charby. I'm a ''vampire''. ''I've lived in Kellwood for over 300 years''. I survived getting ''stabbed clean through the chest'' with a sword! I pulled it out and cut the ''other guy's'' head off! Whatever is after you it's ''no challenge'' for me and Menulis.
29* ''Webcomic/{{Crankrats}}'':
30--> '''Hunter:''' “You know... only two men in the world are allowed to insult me. One of them is dead... the other is waiting for my call... [[OhCrap which makes you neither.]]”
31* ''Webcomic/DanAndMabsFurryAdventures'', [[http://www.missmab.com/Comics/Vol_127.php anyone?]]
32** Subverted [[http://www.missmab.com/Comics/Vol_337.php here]], too.
33** Jyrras gets one too [[http://www.missmab.com/Comics/Vol_1336.php here]].
34* In ''Webcomic/DarthsAndDroids'', during [[Film/RevengeOfTheSith the final fight between Anakin and Obi-Wan]], Anakin thanks Obi-Wan for realizing his true feelings and that he realizes that he truly is the Sith Lord.
35-->'''Obi-Wan:''' But, the Sith are a legend!\
36'''Anakin:''' I '''am''' the legend!
37* Webcomic/DominicDeegan spells it out for Celesto at the climax of the Storm of Souls story arc:
38-->"No matter how furious or destructive a storm may be, there is '''always''' a center of peace and serenity. [[TranquilFury I am the champion of balance...]]'''[[TranquilFury the eye of the storm.]]'''\
39"I have done battle with demons and stared into the face of hell itself. You think I'm scared of a racist bully with a crush he can't handle?"
40* ''WebComic/DragonBallMultiverse'':
41** Broly gets exactly ''one'' line that isn't incoherent screaming, when powering up.
42--->"''I AM THE LEGENDARY WARRIOR!''"
43** King Cold too, when fighting Bardock.
44--->"''You think I'm afraid of an opponent who can see the future... my opponents have no future!''"
45* ''Webcomic/TheDragonDoctors'': "I am a total magical badass."
46** Also, more recently:
47--->'''Sarin''' (to a criminal holding her friend's girlfriend hostage at gunpoint): I suggest you surrender before I embarrass you. You have my ''full'' attention. That means you're beaten.
48** During the same arc, CombatMedic Goro says, "Never underestimate a guerilla defending their turf. This is a hospital. You're in ''my'' jungle now."
49** Attributed to the founder of the Hearts Society: ''I am the little flame that never goes out. If you try to stamp on me, I will burn a hole straight through your foot. I am the eternal thorn in the side of emperors, the grain of sand in every tyrant's eye. You have no authority over me.''
50* ''Webcomic/ElGoonishShive'':
51** Chaos has one while the left half of her body is amorphous claws and teeth, right before she leaves Magus to eternal isolation in the spirit realm.
52--->'''Chaos:''' You've asked many times what my name is. I have had many, but I will give you the full one I have chosen for myself. ''Pandora. Chaos. Raven.'' Refer to me as one or all. I will live up to that name. Ponder that in your newfound isolation.
53** Raven [[http://www.egscomics.com/?date=2009-06-13 chewing]] the scenery and [[http://www.egscomics.com/?date=2009-06-18 spoon-feeding]] it to [[KnightTemplar Abraham]].
54--->'''Raven:''' You are a homicidal wizard invading a public school. ''No one will care if I kill you.''
55* Near the climax of book 1 of ''Webcomic/{{Erfworld}}'', [[{{Necromancer}} Wanda]] leads her undead airforce into battle against Ansom with the following chant (if anything made somewhat ''more'' menacing by her recent trauma-induced stutter):
56-->'''Wanda:''' Rejoice. Despair. Fate does n-not care. Each knotted mmind entwined. Each sso...soul, another's bind. And blind... though we are led, in time, we d-...do know when '''to cut a thread!'''
57* ''Webcomic/{{Fans}}'' had this recent bit with [[http://faans.com/index.php?p=1971 Rikk and Marc]] after Hus claimed that Rikk was beaten the last time he was in the field:
58-->'''Rikk:''' First off, I got sucker-punched by ComicBook/CaptainAmerica. That's like giving Michael Phelps a head start. Secondly, I've spent the last five years with two remarkable women. One of them's one of the toughest, cleverest fighters I've ever seen anywhere. The other is Rumiko Tanaka Oberf! We work hard, but we do make time for each other. And when we're not vegging or sharing a bed...we like to spar! Marc and I aren't here to impress you, Hus. We're here to bring you to justice.
59-->'''Marc:''' Bully needs a beatdown! ''[to Rikk]'' Yours was way more wootworthy.\
60'''Rikk:''' No, you gave a good closing statement.
61* ''Webcomic/{{Freefall}}'': Blunt has perhaps the best one for a robot in regards to how he survived a solar flare that should have rendered him little more than a humanoid metal brick.
62-->'''Blunt:''' I have looked. The blue screen of death. In the eye. And forced it to reboot.
63* ''Webcomic/GirlGenius'':
64** Klaus Wulfenbach, emperor of most of Europa, gets a minor one [[http://www.girlgeniusonline.com/comic.php?date=20030418 here.]] "I will go by myself. Let the people see that I ''can''."
65** Gil demonstrates the correct form [[http://www.girlgeniusonline.com/comic.php?date=20060306 here:]]
66--->'''Gil:''' I do ''not'' intend to have Agatha escape one prison by entering ''another''. She will not be used as some ''political pawn''. She will ''not'' be enslaved "for the good of the Empire." You knew me at school, and perhaps don't take me very ''seriously''. That would be a ''mistake''. You ''must'' understand this. When I come to her, she will be safe, unharmed, and ''free''. Because I ''WILL'' come to her--and if she is ''not''--I will DESTROY "Her Undying Majesty"--melt what is left of your miserable island to SLAG--'''AND BOIL THE SEAS AROUND YOU FOR THE NEXT THOUSAND YEARS!''' DO YOU UNDERSTAND!?\
67'''Wooster:''' You--you couldn't!\
68'''Gil:''' Couldn't!? COULDN'T!? I am GILGAMESH WULFENBACH, little man -- and there is NOTHING I couldn't do, had I cause!
69** Better still when [[http://www.girlgeniusonline.com/comic.php?date=20071121 he defended Mechanicsburg]]:
70--->'''Gilgamesh:''' I am GILGAMESH WULFENBACH, Son of Klaus. I will say this only ONCE -- LEAVE NOW, or you will DIE.
71** And then he shows [[http://www.girlgeniusonline.com/comic.php?date=20071203 he wasn't bluffing]].
72--->'''Gilgamesh:''' This is not a TRICK! I did NOT get LUCKY! I am GILGAMESH WULFENBACH! And ''I'' am in '''control'''!
73** Gil proceeds to go 3 for 3 with this gem when he's [[http://www.girlgeniusonline.com/comic.php?date=20080305 challenged by one of his father's minions]], indicating that he is JustForFun/MadeOfWin.
74** Agatha makes certain no one in the castle will mistake her [[http://www.girlgeniusonline.com/comic.php?date=20110608 heritage again:]]
75--->'''Agatha:''' '''''I''''' AM '''''THE RIGHTFUL HETERODYNE!''''' Your pink ''fake'' left here in ''bloody shreds!'' Because this is ''my castle!'' ''I'' am the one who ''killed'' it -- ''I ''am the one who brought it ''back'' -- and ''I'' am the one who will ''restore it to its full strength! You'' are going to ''help'' me or you'll feel that full strength on the ''backs of your necks!'' '''''Do you understand?'''''
76** Then he goes four for four when he [[http://www.girlgeniusonline.com/comic.php?date=20110815 beats the crap out of Vole, and recruits him as a minion]] for the sole purpose of being TheStarscream ''just to keep himself sharp.''
77--->'''Gilgamesh:''' We'll make it a ''GAME''. "Who's the '''''SCARIEST MONSTER?'''''"
78** Tarvek got [[http://www.girlgeniusonline.com/comic.php?date=20110117 one]] similar to Gil's "in control" rant.
79--->'''Tarvek:''' You and Lucrezia have done ''nothing'' but ''destroy my life and my plans'', and ''now'' you're trying to destroy the ''one bright spot left'' '''''and that I will not permit!'''''\
80'''[[spoiler:Zola]]:''' [-All right... I give up-]\
81'''Tarvek:''' Oh, nonono '''''no''''', you do ''not'' "give up!" YOU '''''DIE!'''''
82** Agatha gets [[http://www.girlgeniusonline.com/comic.php?date=20130107 another rather dramatic one:]]
83--->'''Agatha:''' I do not need rescuing. '''I AM THE HETERODYNE!'''
84* ''Webcomic/{{Goblins}}'' gives one to Dies Horribly of all people
85-->'''Demon:''' I'm going to rip you apart.\
86'''Dies Horribly:''' You've already done that. It didn't work.
87* ''Webcomic/{{Gosu}}'': After overwhelming Dang Gan with a [[TheGreatestStyle Divine Heavenly Destruction Technique]] and leaving him [[OnlyMostlyDead seemingly dead]], Gang Ryong says this gem to Jin Garyeong:
88-->"No-one can take a [[TheGreatestStyle Divine Heavenly Destruction Technique]] head-on and survive."
89* ''Webcomic/GrrlPower'':
90** Maxima has a low-key one, when she discussing how she spent her tour of duty fighting indigenous supers in Afghanistan.
91--->'''Reporter:''' They have Supers in Iraq and Afghanistan?\
92'''Maxima:''' Hmh. Not as many as they used to.
93** A warning to potential Supervillains:
94--->'''Maxima:''' They say that Superheroes are best defined by their Rogues Gallery. I can promise you that our rogues will either be incarcerated... in traction... or interred.
95** Math the martial artist is ''technically'' not a super... [[http://grrlpowercomic.com/archives/1311 but as he says himself:]]
96--->'''Math:''' There's no such thing... ''[[[PunchedAcrossTheRoom punches superhuman across a parking lot]]]'' ...as ''just'' human.
97* ''Webcomic/GuildedAge'' has two back-to-back:
98-->'''Gigundus:''' "I am the Priestlord Gigundus! There is no authority here but mine, elf. My word is the ''blood'' that flows through this world and washes out its disobedience."
99-->'''Byron:''' "Yeah, well. I'm Byron the Berserker. Mine are the axes that ''thirst'' for blood."
100** Later, after the Gastonians suffer a defeat at the hands of the World's Rebellion, Penk delivers one to the Peacemakers.
101---> '''Penk:''' "There is nothing that you can build that we will not tear down. There is no land that you can take that we will not reclaim. For my god is a fiery, '''vengeful''' god. It is by '''his''' will that we live to face you again. Pray to your own gods...while you can.
102* ''Webcomic/GunnerkriggCourt'': [[PhysicalGod Coyote's]] [[http://www.gunnerkrigg.com/archive_page.php?comicID=486 formal introduction]].
103** Most such boasts are huge, flashy, and overt, filled with eloquent speech and burning emotion. But the truly powerful ones don't need any of that. That just makes Jones' simple statement to Coyote that [[http://www.gunnerkrigg.com/archive_page.php?comicID=818 "You know I can take her if I wish."]] all the more impressive. She calmly tells Coyote himself, in the heart of his own domain, that if she chose to act, ''he couldn't stop her.'' Jones doesn't rant or shout. She doesn't ''need'' to, which makes that line all the more badass.
104*** Just to put this in perspective: a bit later, Coyote, for a moment, ''stops time except for himself and Antimony'', even freezing Jones mid-sentence! And Jones can ''still'' take Antimony without Coyote being able to stop her!
105* Shogun from ''Webcomic/{{Harkovast}}'', on his own, speaking to an army of the Nameless:
106-->[[http://www.drunkduck.com/Harkovast/index.php?p=480568 "Fight me or flee; it makes no difference now. All of you are going to die!"]]
107* [[BlackMagicianGirl Rose Lalonde]] does [[http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=003842 one]] right after the epic ending of ''Webcomic/{{Homestuck}}'' Act 4. Her point is helped by the fact she [[spoiler: just [[BreakingTheFourthWall tore an entire Gamefaqs walkthrough out of the Internet with a magic spell]] and sent it to the [[EldritchLocation Furthest Ring]]]]:
108--> I am not playing by the rules anymore. I will fly around this candy-coated rock and comb the white sand until I find answers. [[ScrewDestiny No one can tell me our fate can't be repaired.]]
109** [[CameBackStrong Aradia Megido]] gets a heartwarming one [[spoiler: after returning from the dead]].
110-->[[spoiler:You're done with dying.]]
111** Sollux gets one before his fight with Eridan:
112-->"ii should have kiiled you on lobaf when ii had the chance. oh well, guess iit'2 only fiittiing ii'd take you down iin [[DualityMotif ROUND TWO.]]"
113** From [[FamousAncestor Mindfang's]] journal:
114-->"Upon reflection, Redglare showed the foresight of a true seer in [[AnArmAndALeg thieving my arm]] 8efore the trial. It permitted a fair fight."
115** At the end of the Doc Scratch intermission, Lord English gets one that crosses into horrifying:
116-->DO YOU BELIEVE YOU CAN ESCAPE ME BEFORE I ARRIVE?\
117HOW DO YOU EXPECT TO OUTRUN ME\
118'''[[ArcWords WHEN I AM ALREADY HERE?]]'''
119** And now we have one from Dirk, too.
120--> '''Dirk:''' The Prince is awake. Your shit is wrecked.
121*** Bonus points for delivery: [[spoiler:the note is stuck on a spear in the middle of a crowded square, along with his would-be assassin's [[DecapitationPresentation head]].]]
122** His brother, Dave, [[http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=004728 has one earlier]]:
123-->[[color:#e00707:TG: bow down before your new king bitch]]
124** [[AntiHero Karkat]] [[EstablishingCharacterMoment introducing himself]] to [[TheHero John]] and in the process making one of the most [[LargeHam bombastic]] speeches in the entire comic, full of {{Badass Boast}}s.
125-->ATTENTION WORTHLESS HUMAN. \
126[[WhamLine THIS IS YOUR GOD SPEAKING.]] \
127[[GodIsEvil IT IS A WRATHFUL GOD WHO DESPISES YOU MORE THAN YOU COULD HAVE POSSIBLY DARED TO FEAR.]] ''[...]'' PROSTRATE BEFORE THE STUPID AND FALSE CLOWN GODS YOU HAVE SCRIBBLED ON THE WALLS OF YOUR BLOCK. BOGUS DEITIES WORSHIPED BY A PRIMITIVE "PARADISE" PLANET. BUT YOUR PRAYERS WILL NOT BE ANSWERED. THERE ARE NO MIRACLES IN STORE FOR YOU, HUMAN. ONLY MY HATE. IT IS A HATE SO PURE AND HOT [[YouCannotGraspTheTrueForm IT WOULD CONSUME]] [[GoMadFromTheRevelation YOUR SAD UNDERDEVELOPED HUMAN THINK PAN TO EVEN CONTEMPLATE.]] IT IS A HATE THAT TO FATHOM MUST BE PUT INTO SONG. ''[...]'' IT IS A HATE THAT MADE YOU AND WILL SURELY DESTROY YOU. [[ThePowerOfHate MY HATE IS THE LIFEBLOOD THAT PULSES THROUGH THE VEINS OF YOUR UNIVERSE.]]\
128IT IS MY GIFT TO YOU.\
129YOU'RE WELCOME FOR THAT. [[ThisIsForEmphasisBitch YOU UNGRATEFUL PIECE OF SHIT.]]
130* From ''Webcomic/HowIKilledYourMaster'':
131-->'''Ji Jiao:''' Everyone knows you haven't fought in ten years.\
132'''Master Fei:''' *[[BondOneLiner after the]] CurbStompBattle* It's been ten years since anyone spoke of my fights because no one has walked away from them in that time.
133** Also, Fei quoting Liu Feng:
134--->"I don't know what it's like to hit a man twice."
135* ''Webcomic/TheInexplicableAdventuresOfBob:'' After being injured by the Cone Ship...
136--> '''Butterfly of Iron:''' "You ''dare'' attack ''me?!'' I'll shred the spacetime in which you float! I'll unravel the matter and the naught and the very ''all'' of you!!!"
137** Galatea gets off a pretty good one when she hijacks Riboflavin's ship...
138-->'''Galatea:''' "Heed me, Butane! This is Captain Galatea Martin of the starship ''Lathe of Empires!'' Captain Riboflavin has been removed! You no longer face a withered Methuselah with a 1,300 year track record of failure, but instead, a competent woman with a gun pointed at your heads! I promise you ''wise'' and just leadership... ''if'' you surrender... ''now!"''
139* From ''Webcomic/{{Jack|DavidHopkins}}'': "My name is Jack, and I'm going to kill everyone in this room."
140* Marena, ''Webcomic/KeychainOfCreation'', explaining her situation to another Exalt:
141-->"We are TabletopGame/{{Exalted}}. I have been singled out and empowered by the gods. Specifically, by Luna. Endowed with the power to change my own form, and the responsibility to protect the entire world from its enemies. All Exalted are stronger, tougher, even smarter than any normal human. If we will it so, we do not even bleed. Even the greatest sickness gives me only chills, and the most grievous wounds are healed in mere days. Mortal men and women are bound by society, by culture, by destiny. We are not. It is not my place to follow the normal rules of conduct. It is my place to decide what is right or wrong. That has been granted to me by my goddess, Luna. The Moon. In short, in being Exalted, I have divine endorsement to do whatever I please."
142** Of course, she gave this as explanation for her homewrecking ways, so YMMV.
143* In ''Webcomic/KiddCommander'', Ulrich Weiss [[http://kiddcommander.com/?comic=page-95 introduces]] himself as a professional. Though it's a short boast, his way of showing off makes it really badass.
144* ''Webcomic/TheLastDaysOfFOXHOUND'': During a tense standoff, [[TheGunslinger Ocelot]] takes a moment to inform everyone concerned that he could [[BizarreAndImprobableBallistics kill everyone in the room with one bullet]].
145* ''Webcomic/LastRes0rt'' just had a good one.
146-->'''Slick:''' You see that? Nobody defies my orders twice! My blood runs through the cracked table! My family is why Arel's flags bear crimson hands! I have come for my freedom and nobody, mortal or otherwise, will stop me! I am Slick Mordecai Giovanni, Don of Third Jerusalem! All evidence to the contrary will be dead once I escape! And I will escape, because this... is my [[TitleDrop last resort]]!
147* ''{{Webcomic/Lightbringer}}'' ends its first chapter with its hero taking another look at his hideously corrupted city, and declaring his new mission (to himself, mostly) as he prepares to stop yet another crime from being committed.
148-->'''Lightbringer:''' My name is Carter Granholme. I live in Pharos City. Pharos City has been corrupted. Evil has taken hold of it. Criminals no longer fear conducting their business in the light. [[http://lightbringer.comicgenesis.com/d/20060327.html I will make them afraid of it again.]]
149* ''{{Webcomic/Lovesyck}}'': Seasoned warrior Gaskar the Guts delivers one about both him and the legendary assassin Carver Stucco to a subordinate of his who insults Carver.
150-->'''Gaskar:''' Do you not ''know'' who you're talking to. Are you that ''dense?'' Do you know how many wars I've won, how many people I've killed? Carver Stucco is the ''finest killer'' I have ''ever'' known. Can you dig the implications here? Can you ''imagine'' how many killers I've known? ''Everything'' you've heard about her is true. She's cut down legions. I saw her do it. She's infiltrated Corner Prison and the Holy Royal Sanctum and every impregnable vault from Hubble Palace to Lovelyss Core. She could slice your tits off with a bowling ball and cut you so deep you wouldn't know whether to call for Gawd for come in your pants. She could shit darkness in your soul and make you dream a thousand years of hell in a single second. You can't even ''picture'' that shit. She deserted Hubble. She brought down the ''Inquisition''. And she survived ''me''.
151* In ''WebComic/LsEmpire'', Dimentio from ''VideoGame/SuperPaperMario'' delivers this to his opponent [[spoiler:right before getting beaten up off screen and then blasting them out of the building]]:
152-->[[http://l-empire.smackjeeves.com/comics/559585/mission-improbable-pt-31/ I am Dimentio, master of dimensions, pleaser of crowds, blaster of intro users!]]
153** [[spoiler:[[PhysicalGod Dark Star]]]] gives one that overlaps with IHaveManyNames:
154--->'''Whacka''': And just who are you?\
155'''[[spoiler:Dark Star]]''' Who am I? I am the Shadow Constellation. I am the Black Prism. I am the Color of Evil. [[OverlyLongGag I am he who calls your mother a fat cow and gets away with it]]. I AM... [[spoiler: DARK STAR]]!
156* Of all people, [[http://mansionofe.comicgenesis.com/d/20100715.html Sylvester]], self-confessed complete twit of ''Webcomic/TheMansionOfE'', gets one.
157** "I am more than that. I am the monster your mother told you about when the [=GBOLs=] got dim. I am human. I am the zarking EARL OF E."
158* ''Webcomic/MidnightsWar'': After being saved from a pair of vampire initiates, Monica West meets Sir Andre, and has the following exchange:
159-->'''Monica:''' How many brothers do you have?
160-->'''Andre:''' Eleven.
161-->'''Monica:''' Eleven? So with you there are only twelve. That's not very many! No wonder everyone thinks your order is a myth.
162-->'''Andre:''' Twelve is all we have. Twelve is all we need. Go with God, little sister.
163* In ''Webcomic/AMiracleOfScience'', Benjamin delivers this boast to a difficult police sergeant: "Sergeant, I've just been to the outer solar system and back to track down a mad scientist. I've been shot at with secret weapons, destroyed robots that could take down tanks, and fallen from orbit without benefit of a re-entry vehicle. I don't need your rudeness added to my troubles, okay?" (He later shortens that last incident to "I've plunged down from orbit on ''wings of fire''".)
164* ''Webcomic/{{Misfile}}'': One of Rumisiel's awesome moments is in [[http://www.misfile.com/?page=986 this strip]]:
165-->'''Rumisiel:''' You want to see spirits? You want to look into the eyes of the beings that will watch over the end of days? I have seen the fall of empires and the murder of millions! I have shoved that data into files like so many numbers! ... I'm a frickin' angel, babe, and I got nothin' to lose.
166* Sidney Burns delivers one that is essentially his declaration of war in ''Webcomic/MobTies''. While simple, when combined with the actions he is performing, it helps to establish his position as [[spoiler: the number one badass in the ''Mob Ties'' universe.]]
167-->[[spoiler:"If any of you mob assholes even think of hurting Mika... Just remember one thing..." * crushes a steel chair with one hand* "First... You'll have to go... Through Me." * delivers a OneHitKill* ]]
168** And another, which basically states what Sid's ultimate goal is from that moment in the comic onward:
169-->[[spoiler:For Mika, I will KILL A GOD.]]
170* ''Webcomic/NahastLandsOfStrife'': Xiang. [[http://nahast.spiderforest.com/archive.php?comic_id=272 "NOTHING moves a dwarf!"]]
171* ''Webcomic/NobodyScores'': While crossing to an island where [[http://nobodyscores.loosenutstudio.com/index.php?id=418 an illegal no-limits martial arts tournament]] is going down, [[BloodKnight Jane Doe]] gets a 'surely a beautiful lady like yourself isn't' question:
172--> '''Jane''': Oh me? Psh.\
173I mean, don't get it twisted, I'ma fuck you up.\
174but [[ComedicSociopathy I'm entering my friend here]].
175* ''Webcomic/NoNeedForBushido'' -- Parodied:
176-->'''Yorikiro:''' Call me Yorikiro, Master of Martial arts and wielder of a secret knowledge of fighting style so mystical and great it has no name for all those who witness is perish before they can grasp the immense power before them!!!!
177-->'''Ina:''' How about I just call you Yori?\
178'''Yorikiro:''' That'll work.
179* ''Webcomic/TheOrderOfTheStick'':
180** In "On the Origin of [=PCs=]", Vaarsuvius makes a boast when trying to convince Roy to let them join. All while casually snapping the table in half with magic, and all without the use of more than one exclamation point. Roy did successfully counter with SesquipedalianLoquaciousness, though.
181--->'''Vaarsuvius:''' I am capable of manipulating matter and energy on a subatomic level by speaking. A mere flick of my finger is sufficient to alter the gravitational pull of the planet. I shelve physics texts under 'Fiction' in the library, I consider the laws of thermodynamics loose guidelines at best. In short, I am grasping the reins of the universe's carriage, and every morning I wake up, look to the heavens, and shout, 'Giddy up, boy!' You may never grasp the complexities of what I do, but at least have the common courtesy to feign something other than slack-jawed oblivion in my presence. I, sir, am a wizard, and I break more natural laws before breakfast than of which you are even aware.
182** In one of the early strips, Vaarsuvius presents a similar boast to a gang of goblin mooks. However, [[http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0010.html the boast itself]] knocks out the mooks before they can back it up with actual magic.
183** Vaarsuvius has a thing for Badass Boasting in general. In fact, [[SesquipedalianLoquaciousness this has cost them valuable time]] on more than one occasion.
184** But the best one was a [[http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0640.html simple observation]] about V's neighbors in the Monster Manual.
185** And there's also Belkar Bitterleaf's famous proclamation: "I AM A SEXY [[PrefersGoingBarefoot SHOELESS]] GOD OF WAR!"
186** Roy gets one of his own the first time he faces Xykon, but it doesn't quite take, because Xykon doesn't recognize his name or the [[ButForMeItWasTuesday death he's there to avenge]].
187** In [[BigLippedAlligatorMoment "A Brief Intermission"]], Popcorn taunts his foes, "We've been loved by moviegoers for over 50 years! [[GodsNeedPrayerBadly Do you know the kind of power that has given us?]] [[AGodAmI We have become like unto tiny refreshing GODS!]]"
188** Kazumi Kato.
189--->'''Kazumi:''' I'm a goddamn baby-making, life-taking ''machine''! Why should I care how many people I have to kill? I can just make ''more'' in my ''tummy''!
190** Hinjo tries to make his own [[http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0480.html here]] but Redcloak knocks him back and delivers his own.
191--->'''Hinjo:''' I am the commander of [[ChurchMilitant the Sapphire Guard]] and I am here to make you pay for your crimes against my city! Prepare to--\
192''[Redcloak zaps Hinjo with a Disintegrate, knocking him out]''\
193'''Redcloak:''' Your city? Oh, I'm sorry, I thought somebody would have told you by now. See, this is MY city now, paladin! I figure you owe me one village plus 35 years of interest, so this is a good start!
194** [[BigBad Xykon]] has a nice habit of combining this with HannibalLecture and NoHoldsBarredBeatdown.
195--->'''To Dorukan in Start Of Darkness:''' Hey, you know what really gets under my skin? [[IWouldSayIfICouldSay Proverbially, of course?]] [[ScrewYouElves A century of wizards looking down their damn noses at me]]. ''Energy Drain!'' I know people think I'm stupid. Because I'm not a wizard. [[ObfuscatingStupidity Because I get bored easily.]] [[BrilliantButLazy Because I have no interest in strategy or tactics or contingency planning]]. ''Energy Drain!'' But see, I've learned a lot over the years [[OurLichesAreDifferent since I died]]. A lot more than I learned during my life. And now I see that planning doesn't matter. Strategy doesn't matter. Only two things matter: Force in as great a concentration as you can manage, and style. And in a pinch, style can slide. ''Energy Drain!'' In any battle, there's always a level of force against which no tactics can succeed. For example, all I need to do is keep smacking you with Energy Drains, and soon you won't be able to cast any of your fancy spells at all. ''Energy Drain!'' [[UnequalRites Because yes, I am a sorcerer - and this magic is in my bones, not cribbed off of "Magic for Dummies."]] [[NoHoldsBarredBeatdown And I can keep casting the same friggin' spell at you until you roll over and die.]] [[IronicEcho You can have your finely-crafted watch]] - [[WhenAllYouHaveIsAHammer give me the sledgehammer to the face any day]]. ''ENERGY DRAIN!''\
196\
197'''To Redcloak in Start Of Darkness:''' What I said there to Dorukan about overwhelming force? That's only part of Colonel Xykon's secret recipe of winning. It's not just about power, it's also about [[MoralEventHorizon how far you're willing to debase yourself before feeling bad]]. And me? [[OurLichesAreDifferent I ripped off my own living flesh so that I wouldn't have to admit weakness.]] [[EvilerThanThou You're strictly little league compared to that]]. That right there? That's the difference between bonafide [[CardCarryingVillain true Evil]] and your whiny [[WellIntentionedExtremist "evil, but for a good cause"]] crap. One gets to be the butch and one gets to be the bitch. [[ThisIsForEmphasisBitch Bitch]].\
198\
199'''To invisible Vaarsuvius:''' You seem to have an interest in power, so let me educate you a little while I search for you. It's sort of this thing I like to do sometimes, especially for learned wizards such as yourself. Power, it isn't something that you put on or take off like a jacket. It's something you just ARE. If you can lose it by blowing two Will saves, you never really had any power in the first place, see what I'm saying? Hell, the idiot paladin understands better than you do, 'cause he got every one of those hit points I burned off of him the hard way: he earned them. 'Course now he's also earned an upgrade to Prisoner First Class for daring to touch my pretty little bauble. It's sort of the same as how we've already been treating him, only now we get serious about it. Anyhoo, where was I? Oh, right. Your soul shenanigans are real flashy, but they had one weakness: they were shackled to your lame mid-level ass! I used to think spells equaled power, too, back when I was alive. I've learned a lot since then. You know what does equal power? Power. Power equals power. Crazy, huh? But the type of power? Doesn't matter as much as you'd think. It turns out, everything is oddly balanced. Weird, but true. For example: ...Right now, power takes the form of a +8 racial bonus to Listen skill checks. ''[He grabs V by the throat]'' So, Uncle Xykon, what's the moral of the story? A big pile of spells isn't enough when the other guy has a big pile of spells AND the strength to crush your windpipe with his bare phalanges. And they died happily ever after. The End.
200** While defending the docks:
201--->'''Lien:''' My parents were fishermen. When I was a little girl, I stood right here and learned how to clean the fish that they caught. I'm telling you this so that you know that when I say that if you take one more step, I will gut you like the catch of the day — IT IS NOT HYPERBOLE!
202** The Ancient Black Dragon puts Vaarsuvius at the receiving end of one of these just as V has put the Dragon in a Force Cage:
203-->'''Black Dragon:''' Very good, an excellent choice. [[HopeSpot I am quite confined for about a day, while you are free to escape and replenish your 6th and 7th level spells.]] You are as skilled as my information led me to believe. I must admit, I too have a passion for the arcane arts... even moreso than others of my kind. I am curious however... what would happen if we turned the magic off? [[AntiMagic Anti-magic Field.]] *the Force Cage disintegrates and [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere V tries to fly away]], the Black Dragon flies over to V who falls to the ground when the antimagic field envelops them* Fascinating. It appears that [[BroughtDownToNormal you cease to be a mighty wizard]] and become a fragile pointy-eared monkey. While I? *the Black Dragon slams Vaarsuvius down into some rocks* I am still a dragon.
204** Malack knows [[http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0811.html the value of brevity.]]
205--->''[after an [[HPToOne HP To One]]]''\
206'''Nale:''' Unnnh... I'm still... alive.\
207'''Malack:''' I'm not finished. [[CherryTapping Quickened Inflict Moderate Wounds.]]
208** While trekking through the frozen wastelands towards Kraagor's Gate, O-Chul and Lien pass the time by engaging in what they call a 'Paladin-Off', in which they basically compete to see who can come up with the better Paladin-themed boast based on their situation:
209--->'''Lien:''' How are you doing? Are you handling the cold OK?\
210'''O-Chul:''' I am well. You?\
211'''Lien:''' Sure, no problem. I've grown accustomed to the frigid depths of the ocean floor as I seek out the forces of Evil in the dark crevices in which they hide.\
212'''O-Chul:''' I warm myself with my thoughts - both of the gentle warmth of good deeds done and delinquent hearts redeemed, as well as those of the eternal fires of the Lower Planes - where those unwilling to reconsider their life choices must surely find themselves should they stand against me.\
213''[...]''\
214'''Lien:''' I don't know what I was thinking, trying to beat you in a Paladin-Off.\
215'''O-Chul:''' Through grim virtuous perseverance and the will of the Twelve Gods, I was able to triumph.\
216'''Lien:''' OK, OK, you won! Take it down a notch.
217** After he gets the curse on him removed during an attack by the Thieves' Guild, [[TokenEvilTeammate Belkar]] proceeds to give one of these after ensuring that the RestrainingBolt placed on him is gone, allowing him to deliver a CurbStompBattle.
218---> '''Belkar''': Back me up and I'll cut a path through these guys! Wait, did I say "path"? I mean a five-lane blacktop highway with a two-lane service road -- and I'm packing a fist full of tokens and a radar detector!
219* Subverted in ''Webcomic/OurLittleAdventure'' when an Elven Ranger bounty hunter named [[http://danielscreations.com/ola/comics/ep0122.html Keppra Gemflower]] introduces herself this way to Umbria. Umbria wins initiative in that combat, immediately casts hold person and [[CombatPragmatist rushes over and kills the Elf]] via coup de grace.
220* ''Webcomic/PennyArcade'': "I will open one of my six mouths, [[http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2006/04/10/ and I will sing the song that ends the Earth."]]
221** "Will you face me? [[http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2003/03/10/ This tube goes by many names, some you are not worthy to hear.]] The Waking-Dragon, coiled, as spring dawns. Hawk's-Harvest, seizing prey in the tall summer grass. Autumn-Razor, the patient hunter. Famine-of-Winter, that kills the babe at its mother's empty breast. So, will you face me? I, who hold the very reins of the world?"
222* In [[http://www.prequeladventure.com/2013/03/gaius-fail-to-tremble/ this]] ''Webcomic/{{Prequel}}'' page, Gaius gets a particularly badass one.
223-->'''Gaius:''' I’ve been in the guard longer than you’ve been alive, breton. I’ve seen frenzied trolls burst forth from the ground, men get ripped to shreds by land-roving dreugh, zombies tear down entire villages with nothing but their teeth, and that’s all in the last two years. I can hit an imp with a bow at three hundred yards, kill a grizzly bear in hand-to-hand combat, and cut a man in half with one swing of a sword. ‘Trembling with fear’ isn’t in my vocabulary. I handle the fear, so you prissy magefolk never have to see it.
224* ''Webcomic/QuestionableContent'': The [[DeusEstMachina Sufficiently Advanced AI]] "Spookybot" [[https://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=3396 uses one]] to show that there's no trickery or malice in their offer to [[spoiler:let Emily into Bubbles' mind in hopes of retrieving [[LaserGuidedAmnesia lost memories]]]].
225-->'''Faye:''' I swear to god, if you hurt her, I'll--\
226'''Spookybot''': If we ''hurt'' her? Child, if we wanted to hurt her, there would be ''nothing'' you could do.
227* In ''Webcomic/RustyAndCo'', of the villainous variety:
228-->'''Calamitus:''' Do you think mundane '''matter''' could best '''my''' formidable necromantic '''powers'''? I have '''transcended''' the limits of mere '''flesh''' and '''blood'''... and I will '''shatter''' your '''bodies''' and '''dance''' upon your '''entrails'''!
229* ''Webcomic/SchlockMercenary'':
230** Kevyn Andreasyn has one that he tends to say in his head, ''while he is'' ([[OnlyMostlyDead mostly]]) ''dying''. Notably it's only played (mostly) straight the first time; after that he starts rambling about how many times he's [[DeathIsCheap "cheated the reaper"]], eventually deciding to just stop keeping track. It goes a little something like this:
231--->'''Kevyn:''' I am Commander Kevyn Andreyasn. I have shaped the destinies of worlds, of nations, of galaxies. I have created and destroyed. I have followed and I have led. I have known love and it has known me back. I flirt with Death for a living and I have cheated the Reaper ''[[NighInvulnerable a lot of]]'' times.
232** He also has [[https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2007-04-24 this simple but effective one]], delivered by radio ''immediately'' after the enemy Commodore sends a tank after him:
233--->'''Kevyn:''' Hello again, Commodore. [[{{Plunder}} I have a tank now.]] It's very shiny, but there's [[GoryDiscretionShot an ugly stain on the upholstery.]]
234** Another vicarious one, played for laughs:
235--->'''Ebby:''' [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/d/20100807.html I've got a spare pistol, and a robot who runs with scissors!]]
236** [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2010-09-18 And one from said scissor-wielding robot: ]]
237--->'''Tailor:''' ''STOP.'' I will [[AbsurdlySharpBlade shear straight through your armor]] and take off that hand. I'd reattach it later, of course. '''[[CombatMedic I AM A SURGEON!]]'''
238** [[PhysicalGod Petey]] has a fairly simple one, when a mob boss questions his actual power and capabilities.
239--->'''Petey:''' [[http://schlockmercenary.com/d/20101011.html If I decide to impress you, you'll have a whole new set of benchmarks for "afraid."]]
240** And even before he takes a galaxy's worth of levels in badass, he declares [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2002-05-14 I am harm incarnate.]]
241** When Schlock is sent to negotiate with some police who mistakenly believe he's a pirate, [[https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2015-10-05 the boss assigns someone to watch him.]]
242--->'''Schlock:''' Okay, Perkey. Your boss said "watch." Set your helmet to record. Otherwise you're gonna miss something.\
243''[two pages later, Schlock has non-lethally disabled everyone in the room]''
244** While Gugro is pretending to be the company's commanding officer for legal reasons, she gives a hefty boast to a racist. It's awesome enough that Tagon decides to alter the entire battle plan, making their jobs much more difficult, just to carry it out.
245--->'''Gugro:''' [[https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-11-05 Bring your flames to me, little kitten.]] I will board your ship, flay that coat from your mange-boiled back, and ''then'', with ''just one hand'', I will personally rip off your only pair of arms.\
246[...]\
247'''Tagon:''' Well, it was a '''really''' good threat. [[https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2017-11-07 It'd be a shame not to deliver]].
248** [[https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2019-10-29 In the midst of a mission that could decide the fate of two galaxies]]...
249--->'''Tagon:''' When Chelle's team engaged [[EldritchAbomination the enemy]] on the outpost we ''expected'' the enemy to call for help. ''Hearing'' that does not change our plans. All teams... ''[[LetsGetDangerous go]].''\
250'''Kevyn:''' How do you do this "calm in the storm" thing?\
251'''Tagon:''' I '''''am''''' the storm.
252* ''{{Webcomic/Sinfest}}'': When Kate tries to confront Death about pursuing someone in her house, Death simply states [[http://sinfest.net/view.php?date=2018-12-22 "your realm is subject to my visit as any other"]]. Kate may be a powerful witch, buth Death is Death.
253* ''Webcomic/SisterClaire'' gives us "[[http://www.sisterclaire.com/?p=1034 I'm sorry to tell you]] that our name, ''Sisters of Mercy'', is a bit misleading. {{God}} shows mercy. ''We don't''."
254* In one ''Webcomic/SkinHorse'' strip, Unity, chained up by a secret cult of Notaries Public, claims to "eat steel like this for breakfast". In the next strip, she meets the Abbess, and Notary Paul warns the Abess she's trouble:
255-->'''Unity''': Yeah, I eat little old ladies like you for breakfast!\
256'''Paul''': I thought you ate steel for breakfast.\
257'''Unity''': Oxygen tank.
258* ''Webcomic/SluggyFreelance'': "My name is Gunman Stan [=McKurt=]. And I shoot evil in the face."
259** On a more serious note:
260-->'''[[EmpathicWeapon Chaz]]''': Good evening, master. Whom shall we kill today?\
261'''Torg''': A god damned demon lord.
262* ''Webcomic/StandStillStaySilent'': Väinö, who is the sentinel mage for an area roughly equivalent to what three other sentinel mages are covering ''between them'', claims that he doesn't need any reinforcements, only a replacement in about 30 years. He's 65 years old when he makes that claim, and the record of that claim is shown after his present-time 76-year-old self has warned the protagonists of the presence of extremely dangerous creatures in the nearby wilderness.
263* ''Webcomic/TalesOfTheQuestor'':
264** ''"I'm the freaking Questor of Freeman Downs! I have slogged through the Dire Swamps, killed a Gragum god-priest and three of his followers single-handed, and waded thru an army of shadow wights to kill a rat-king. I also happen to be the guy who just hospitalized half you big, bad gang, jackass. I have a badge, an arsenal, and a license to kill. The only reason you're still alive is that I didn't want to mess with the paperwork. So feel free to drop by any time, dillweed. I see you, or your friends within [[UsefulNotes/AmericanCustomaryMeasurements a hundred miles]] of my town and I'll gut you like a trout."'' What triggers this boast can be seen [[http://www.rhjunior.com/tales-of-the-questor-0310/ here]]. Subverted a couple of panels later; while the threat takes, the "badass" in question requires a VomitDiscretionShot from the stress of it, which can be seen [[http://www.rhjunior.com/tales-of-the-questor-0311/ here]].
265** [[http://www.rhjunior.com/tales-of-the-questor-0598/ He does it again!]] "''You want to know who I am? I'll tell you who I am-- '''I'm Quentyn, son of Quinn, the Questor of Freeman Downs.''' The '''Gnomes''' call me '''"Hunter of Shadows."''' The '''Gragum''' call me '''"Little God-Slayer."''' The gangs of the Tumbledowns call me '''Sir''', if they know what's '''good''' for them. I am one of '''Oberon's Untouched''' -- '''kissed''' by the '''White Stag''' and '''blessed''' by '''two ladies''' of the '''Seleighe Court'''. I have slain a '''Gragum priest-king''' and '''three''' of his followers '''singlehanded.''' I have waded through an '''army''' of '''shadow-wights''' to lay low a '''rat-king'''. I have pulled a '''house''' down around the ears of not one, but '''two''' gangs of '''thieves'''. I have slain a '''swamp kraken''', and run before the '''Wild Hunt''' -- and '''won'''. And before I leave this duchy I will add a '''dead dragon''' to that list. '''I am a Rac Cona Daimh, and I am nothing to be trifled with.''' Do you have any '''other''' questions, Your Grace?''"
266** The spin-off, ''Webcomic/QuentynQuinnSpaceRanger''. also has one: when Commander Quinn tells some space pirates [[http://www.rhjunior.com/quentyn-quinn-space-ranger-0012/ why some very nasty aliens listen to the Racconans]].
267* In ''WebComic/TowerOfGod'', Jahad responds with these when asked who he is on the rare occasions when he shows himself. Of course, the most impressive part will always be saying that he is [[GodEmperor Jahad]].
268--> "Let me ask you something. What am I to you people? I was the first one to climb the Tower. I was the greatest Fisherman in battle. And I pioneered a civilization of mutual understanding among the people of the Tower. But you probably know me best by a different word. The word... ''''King''''."
269** Or:
270--> '''Memory of young Jahad''': "I am the one who will become the king. I am the one destined to rule the top of the tower. The first and greatest adventurer, with the red third eye on my forehead and a crimson cape wrapped around me. '''I am Jahad'''."
271* In a ''Webcomic/VGCats'' [[http://www.vgcats.com/comics/?strip_id=280 strip]] in which they parody "The Word" section of ''Series/TheColbertReport'': "We didn't spend YEARS as social outcasts to watch you assholes fuck this up. We memorized the [[VideoGame/KillerInstinct Ultra Combos]]. We wrote down pages of passwords. WE defeated the [[VideoGame/MegaManClassic Robot Masters]], [[VideoGame/PunchOut knocked out Tyson]], and SAVED THE FUCKING PRINCESS."
272* ''Webcomic/{{xkcd}}'':
273** In an AltText:
274--->"The moment their arms spun freely in our air, they were doomed -- for Man has earned his right to hold this planet against all comers, [[http://xkcd.com/556/ by virtue of occasionally producing someone totally batshit insane.]]"
275** Biologists get [[HardOnSoftScience a very well-deserved one]] in [[https://xkcd.com/1520/ strip 1520]]:
276--->"This is a graph of the death rate from infectious disease in this country. The heroes of my field have ''slain'' [[ThePlague one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse]]. While the heroes of ''your'' field [[AtomicHate gathered in the desert to create a new one]]."
277** [[https://xkcd.com/2287/ Another Alt Text]]:
278--->"[[ComicBook/{{Watchmen}} We're not trapped in here]] with the [[UsefulNotes/COVID19Pandemic coronavirus]]. [[MookHorrorShow The coronavirus is trapped in here with us]]."
279* ''Webcomic/ZebraGirl'': [[http://zebragirl.net/?date=2009-06-08 Sandra goes off on a rant about how she's in charge]], only for it to be interrupted:
280-->'''Jack:''' Sandra... doesn't it worry you how I'm not worried?\
281'''Sandra:''' No. Because you're an idiot.\
282'''Jack:''' Sure. I'm also Plaid Jack Clarity, the Tartan Sorcerer. Walker in infernal fires, he of the intersecting lines. This is my friend Tomie. [[spoiler:And you're a bad, bad demon.]]
283

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