Line #9 Awesome/PennAndTellerBullshit


1	* The Chiropractor episode features a doctor who's performed procedures on young children, which is not recommended because their bones and muscles haven't developed enough. The doctor in question even performed procedures on a newborn baby fresh out of the womb. A horrified Penn says what we're all thinking: "We should have just called 911!"
2	* The Circumcision episode has one of their interviewees showing off his restored foreskin for the camera crew. It'd be ridiculous if he weren't so happy and proud.
3	* "Eat This!":
4	** Norman Fuckin' Borlaug, or, as Penn calls him: 'The Single Greatest Human Being on Earth'. To put it simply, Norman Borlaug is a Nobel Prize-winning geneticist responsible for saving potential billions of lives by creating and introducing hardier food crops to starving third-world regions.
5	** In conclusion, Penn [[TheReasonYouSuckSpeech shames leftists for blocking the spread of agricultural advancements to less-developed regions]]:
6	--->'''Penn:''' A very small percentage of the world's population is fortunate enough to have the luxury of turning down food. The rest of the world spends most of its time trying to get ''any'' food. Y'know why? Technological problems. They got dirt, they got water, they got sun. They lack the technical ability to till and enrich the soil; they lack the machines to plant enough to feed their families; they lack the ''hybrid plants'' that produce more food per acre. We need to spread all the technology we can, so that all people everywhere can deal with the problem of Too Much Food. We can't start getting picky because ''we've'' got enough food; that's just self-centered and racist! Unless you and yours are starving, '''you need to''' '''''[[PunctuatedForEmphasis Shut! The fuck! Up!]]'''''
7	* In the "Safety Hysteria" episode, armed cops are shown via security camera footage storming a high school in North Carolina looking for drugs, Penn blows his fuse at an armed cop (with a rather unfortunate haircut, which he initially promised not to make fun of) for pointing a gun at a child and having the audacity to say that guns were "drawn at a low-ready position."
8	--> '''Penn:''' Low-ready, my achin' ass! Here you are, holding a gun at a kid's head! We were wrong, we are gonna make a comment about his hair. If it weren't for your stupid, fuckin' lame-ass haircut, we wouldn't be able to tell it was your lame ass pointing a gun at an unarmed, just-at-fucking-school-because-you-require it, '''AMERICAN KID!'''
9	** They also slam the principal while continuing to slam the officer for condoning this treatment of the students, saying the lesson learned was not to be intimidated out of drugs but what happens when '''''[[PunctuatedForEmphasis THESE. PEOPLE.]]''''' get a little bit of power, and that schools should keep the students safe from uniformed government needle dicked employees who throw children to the ground and point firearms at their heads.
10	* In a moment of FridgeBrilliance Penn doing the whole of the "Profanity" episode with (modern day) swearing replaced with [[CurseOfTheAncients antiquated curse words]] and [[GoshDangItToHeck euphemisms]], and even calling the show "Humbug!"
11	* As anti-religious as the show is, they somehow got a ''priest'' on their side in ''Death Inc''.
12	* Penn & Teller laying out [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LWCsEWo0Gks the truth behind the correlation between autism and the vaccines]].
13	--> '''Penn''': "In the 1920s, before the diphtheria vaccination was common, there were thirteen to fifteen thousand deaths a year from that disease. If you got it, your chances of dying were about 40%. In 1952, just before the Salk vaccine became common, there were about 58,000 cases of polio. If you got unlucky, you might end up permanently disabled or dead. Meningitis, hepatitis A and B, flu, mumps, whooping cough, pneumonia, rotavirus, rubella, smallpox, tetanus, '''chicken pox!''' [...] We have vaccinations against all of these. Which side do you want your child to stay on? So even if vaccination did cause autism, '''''[[PrecisionFStrike WHICH IT FUCKING DOESN'T]]''''', anti-vaccination would still be bullshit."
14	* A segment of the 'Alternative Medicine' episode goes into debunking Therapeutic Touch, the idea of manipulating a person 'energy' through passing their hands over a patient's 'aura' without physically touching. They explain that a 9-year old tested practitioners of Therapeutic Touch by having them sit behind a partition with two holes cut-out, with the practitioner placing their hands through the holes. the child then held one of her hands over one of the holes and asked them to 'sense' where it was. The episode continues and at various points cuts to an extremely attractive college student and Penn wonders out loud why she's in the episode. It's then revealed the woman is actually the 9-year old, Emily Rosa, who conducted the test, all grown up, and we learn in the original test the practitioners scored ''less than chance'' in correctly guessing where her hand was. [[note]]Emily later graduated college in 2009, a couple of years after the episode aired.[[/note]]
15	* In the 'Astrology' episode, a professor has his class create a sequence of numbers that he's going to feed through a computer to spit out a personality profile. One particular student is leery of the experiment from the start. Once the class is given their 'results', which is actually the same generically-written paragraph for everyone in the class, and the reveal is made that it's a taping for the show, the skeptic student celebrates, as she is a huge fan of the show. Right before the credits, she blows Penn & Teller a kiss.
16	* The entire Violent Video Games episode. It really puts [[AmoralAttorney Jack Thompson]] in his place by demonstrating the flaws and deconstructing fantasy vs reality through broader interviews, theoretical alternatives, and an actual demonstration of how a kid would really shoot a gun based off of video game experience.
17	* Penn has something awesome to say at the end of the Taxes episode:
18	--> '''Penn:''' "200 years ago, America had real freedom. If you never hurt, robbed, slandered, or cheated anyone, you had nothing to fear from the American government. But now, in part because of the complexity of the tax code, there is ''no one'' in the USA who can say beyond a shadow of a doubt, 'I am innocent.' And when no one is sure he's innocent, no one can really speak out. It shouldn't be just people in period costumes saying this ballsy revolutionary shit! We should all be saying it. ''We are the people!'' It's time to stop being afraid of our own government, and that includes the IRS. Less taxes means less government, and that can mean more privacy and more freedom, and maybe more accountants working as strippers. All we have to do is contact our Congresspeople and say, 'Forty fuckin' percent?! Suck my balls, you evil cunts!' Or, the way they said it in 1773!"
19	--> '''Sam Adams:''' "No taxation without representation!"
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Context Awesome / PennAndTellerBullshit