Line #31 Awesome/MarriedWithChildren


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2	* When Al laments to his space alien buddies that his life is worthless and nothing he does seems to matter, little does know that his rank, dirty socks provided starship fuel that enabled the little green men to destroy a comet that was going to destroy Earth and a hundred other inhabited worlds. BizarroEpisode it may be, but Al ''saved the galaxy''. And he'll never know.
3	* Al in general, honestly. The guy is as tough as a two-dollar steak. He remains a stellar athlete into his fifties (Ed O'Neill was 41 at the start of the show, about 52 when it wrapped). His wife can't keep her hands off him. The few times he's actually outmatched in a fight or an athletic contest it's done for comedic effect. He manhandles men less than half his age (Kelly's boyfriends, who got to know the walls, the banister, and the doorframe really well). Love him or hate him, the guy is a badass.
4	* In "Every Bundy Has A Birthday", the Bundys celebrate Seven's birthday (and forget Al's) at a park, except it's been completely rented out by a wealthy family and they're confined to a corner of the park. Eventually Al gets fed up and confronts the wealthy family, the father from which tries an elaborate martial arts kick on Al... only for Al to effortlessly catch the kick and trap his leg.
5	--> '''Al:''' Tee hee! ...You know buddy, it seems your foot is stuck!
6	--> '''Rich Guy:''' ...I'll give you 100 bucks if you let me go!
7	--> '''Peg:''' Take it, Al! Take it!
8	--> '''Al:''' ...Nah. Nobody gave me a birthday present, so I guess I'll give myself one.
9	--> ''[[SlasherSmile Al grins]].''
10	--> '''Al:''' Happy birthday, Al.
11	--> ''Al knocks the rich guy flying with a HUGE right cross.''
12	--> '''Al:''' Come on kids, let's kick some rich butt!
13	* "Now you just flash that badge at some registered voter, buddy. We're Bundys; ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GVwZW3PylWY we hate cops.]]''"
14	* Al's speeches opposing a proposed beer tax and the cancellation of his favorite TV show.
15	** He gives another excellent one after the family and countless other people are stuck on the highway ''all day and night'', ranting about how poorly the highway department has handled the situation.
16	* The audience's reaction to David Garrison's surprise entrance in "Get the Dodge Out of Hell" lasted over 20 seconds, a record. It got to the point where Garrison ''checked his watch''.
17	* ''Any'' time that "Bad To The Bone" started to play whenever Al was preparing something, the result was this.
18	** Or when Al says "Let's rock."
19	* Any time Al proves his football prowess wasn't just him blowing smoke:
20	** In "To Build A Better Mousetrap" Al relays a story of how he scored a touchdown against the biggest linebacker in the state not with a plan CrazyEnoughToWork, but because he plowed right through him.
21	** In "Al Goes Deep" Al considers filling in for Kelly's new boyfriend in a college football game, but thinks he can't due to his advanced age and having eaten Peg's massive bon-bon. When he has no choice but to after the boyfriend breaks his arm, he not only wins the game but sets a new collegiate record.
22	** In "All-Nite Security Dude" Al's trophy gets stolen by his old rival "Spare Tire" who he had won the city title against and caused Spare Tire's life to go downhill. In this episode, the credibility of his achievement was called into question by both Bud and Spare Tire. Al not only proves to Spare Tire he peaked far worse than Spare Tire ever did, but he wins the showdown proving his knee only ''nearly'' touched the ground so that last touchdown did still count.
23	* When Al came home and found Peg in a rather interesting position with Jim Jupiter (a local TV fitness personality):
24	-->'''Jim Jupiter''': I'm Jim Jupiter, the Healthiest Man in Chicago.
25	-->'''Al''': Then you should heal quickly when I pull your spine through your mouth.
26	* In the "Married... with Prom Queen" two-parter, Al and Peg run into their old rivals at their high-school reunion, the two now being married. Al's rival Jack was Al's high school arch enemy, and the two were going to have a fight to determine who was the better man on graduation day, but Al got injured in a stupid stunt and the fight never happened, so the two decide to finally settle things at the reunion, with the entire class (sans Peg) leaving to watch. After much noise outside, Jack walks in, disleveled and bruised, but smiling... only to collapse in a heap. Cue Al walking in, the victor, cheered on by his former classmates.
27	** Peg also gets a Crowning Moment of her own when she uses the distraction provided by Al to fix the vote for Reunion Queen in her favor, beating out her own hated rival, who just happens to be Jack's wife. The two share a dance together as the Prom King and Queen (interrupted only by Al's complaints about the injuries he got in the fight).
28	** They're not established characters, but you have to give props to the nerd clique from Al's school. Al and his friends notice them sitting at their own table and making fun of them... only for the camera to cut over and show that they're now extremely wealthy and successful, with gorgeous women hanging all over them.
29	--> '''Nerd''': Should have done your own homework, guys!
30	* Things almost never go right for Al, but when they do, the results can be awesome. After slaving to build a doghouse for Lucky and being forced to jump through a bunch of increasingly ridiculous hoops by an ObstructiveBureaucrat building inspector that Marcy bribed to cause trouble for him, Al gets the last laugh. He got Kelly's rich boyfriend Carlos to help him build it and pay for all the expenses, during which time Al skimmed off $6,000 into his own pocket. He even gets one back on Marcy when he figures out what to do with all the leftover wet cement he had to get for the foundation of Lucky's doghouse...namely, dumping it all over Marcy's cherished Mercedes.
31	** And to make it even better: ''Lucky doesn't even use the doghouse.''
32	* The episode in which [[Series/LeaveItToBeaver Jerry Mathers]] (AsHimself) is the special celebrity guest at a supermarket shopping spree. Bud and Kelly are giving him grief the entire episode, and finally he has this to say:
33	-->'''Jerry Mathers:''' Let's get this over with once and for all. I may have to earn a pathetic living by donning the cap of The Beaver and appearing at supermarkets... '''''[[SugarWiki/FunnyMoments but at least my father doesn't sell women's shoes]].'''''\
34	''[Bud and Kelly hang their heads in shame and walk off]''\
35	'''Jerry Mathers:''' Golly, that felt good.
36	* Al's [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jyLmSAnoR6g response to a librarian mocking him]] for being a loser who failed at life cuts to the core of his character and the show in general:
37	-->'''Al:''' So you think I'm a loser? Just because I have a stinking job that I hate, a family that doesn't respect me, a whole city that curses the day I was born? Well, that may mean loser to you, but let me tell you something. Every morning when I wake up, I know it's not going to get any better until I go back to sleep again. So I get up, have my watered-down Tang and still-frozen Pop Tart, get in my car with no upholstery, no gas, and six more payments to fight traffic just for the privilege of putting cheap shoes on the cloven hooves of people like you. I'll never play football like I thought I would. I'll never know the touch of a beautiful woman. And I'll never again know the joy of driving without a bag on my head. But I'm ''not'' a loser. Because, despite it all, me and every other guy who'll never be what he wanted to be, are still out there being what we don't want to be, forty hours a week, for life. ''And the fact that I haven't put a gun in my mouth, you pudding of a woman, makes me a winner''!
38	** Then he tops it off by taking the tray of sugar that the wench had always put in her tea, to dump in her gas tank, a promise he had made to himself when he was 8.
39	* The three-parter where the family goes to London also had its share of Crowning moments, such as one scene in part 2 where they go to Poole & Co. Tailors and try on all of the outfits to the tune of Right Said Fred's "I'm Too Sexy" (and stealing what suits them best), and the epilogue's jousting tournament between Al and Igor.
40	* In one seventh-season episode, Al's performance in the bedroom has hit an all-time low and Peggy starts complaining to her friends about it. Word spreads around town, and Al's lack of prowess becomes famous. Teenage punks start threatening each other with the words "I'm going to waste you quicker than Al Bundy", and the supermarket has renamed its "10 Items Or Less" line as the "Al Bundy Line." Al is predictably humiliated--and Peggy is for once genuinely sorry for this--but after he sees Kelly study hard to impress her friends with her knowledge of American politics, he's inspired to [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zyHb_HQG9YY begin training to build up his stamina]]. One TrainingMontage later, he takes Peggy upstairs, and proceeds to do her for ''two days straight''. The episode ends with Al and Peggy in bed. Peggy's hair is standing on end from the experience, while a satisfied Al is smoking a cigar. He grins at the audience and sends them off with the immortal words:
41	-->'''Al''': And to all a good night!
42	* Al telling off the older woman he thinks the then-underage Bud is having an affair with and bringing in the cops to arrest her. Unfortunately, it's the wrong woman, but it's still refreshing to see Al's PapaWolf moment and an aversion of the DoubleStandardRapeFemaleOnMale trope--even the woman being hot and Bud's "consent" didn't make Al see her behavior as any less wrong.
43	** He was actually 18 at that point, but there is still a power dynamic due to being Bud's teacher.
44	* Peg is so often a KarmaHoudini that the rare moments when she gets punished for her actions are all the sweeter. After being tricked by Peg into having sex with her for nine months in order to conceive another child and get a $500,000 inheritance, Al learns that she's been taking birth control pills to keep from getting pregnant. With a TranquilFury that is both awesome and terrifying, he fakes Peg's home pregnancy test to make it look like she's really got a bun in the oven. Peg is completely horrified, and when she tries to console herself with the $500,000 Al points out to her that another relative beat them to it (the lawyer who read the will married a Bundy relative who was in prison, and is planning on having him killed so she can keep the money for herself). This makes Peg suffer a complete VillainousBreakdown, as Al tortures her with the thought of the coming morning sickness, weight gain and diaper changes. The episode ends with Peg running upstairs screaming and puking from morning sickness, as Al contentedly plans to continue the torture and realizes that he can't buy that kind of satisfaction for half a million dollars.
45	* Another case where Peg gets her comeuppance is in "A Three Job, No Income Family," where Peg gets a job as a cosmetics saleswoman and is bringing home big commission checks. Al, desperate to regain his status as the family's main breadwinner, gets a second job at [[BurgerFool Burger Trek]] to make more money. However, Al later finds out that Peg is the only one buying her cosmetics, which means she's spending more money than she's making in commissions, sending the family deeper into debt. Al says there's only one thing to do... and makes Peg get a job at Burger Trek.
46	* Never, ever get into a battle of wits with master snarker Al Bundy unless you're part of the regular WorldOfSnark like Marcy is. Just look at what happened to Al's old high school rival:
47	-->'''Jack''': You know Bundy, I can't think of a single thing you did better than me in high school.
48	-->'''Al''': Why don't you ask your wife about that, Jack?
49	* In [[EpisodeOnAPlane "The Gypsy Cried"]], Marcy has been scared shit-less by a prediction that she will die on the plane and she's driven nuts by the turbulence and [[BadBoss her boss making an excessive amount of demands]] and the demand that she fetch a pillow for him is [[TheReasonYouSuckSpeech the straw that broke the camel's back.....]] and the [[TookALevelInBadass moment she stops acting like a doormat]].
50	-->'''Marcy''': You fat pig! I work my fingers to the bone for you, I'm a bank manager dammit not your handmaiden. But you appreciate me? No, it's always "Get Me Coffee!", "Write my speech!", "Here comes my wife, pretend Fluffy's with you", well I'm sick of it! And I'm sick of you Vander Doody, I've done a lot of low things for you, but when I meet my maker in a few minutes and when he asks if I've done anything good, I'll say yes, I did this. ''(punches her boss to the cheers of the audience and sits down with Steve)'' I'm ready to die.
51	** Sure enough the plane lands in JFK, and she worries she'll be fired, Steve assures her that [[{{Blackmail}} if she plays her cards right she'll get a promotion since she knows something the boss's wife doesn't know]].
52	* In the seventh season episode "Movie Show", on her birthday, Kelly breaks off a date with her boyfriend (played by Creator/DavidBoreanaz) so that she can go to the movies with her family (which she was reluctant to do - as were they, in fact). She finds her boyfriend with another girl, but she seems to take it well... until she rejoins the rest of her family.
53	-->'''Kelly:''' ''(calmly)'' [[TranquilFury Daddy, beat him up]].\
54	'''Al:''' ''(instantly, despite not having paid a bit of attention to the subplot) ''Of course, pumpkin.\
55	''([[PapaWolf Al marches over to Kelly's boyfriend and beats the snot out of him]] as his date flees the cinema and the studio audience cheers him on; eventually, he returns to his seat)''\
56	'''Al:''' And that's why cable will never replace the movie-going experience. ''(puts his arms around Peg, Bud, and Kelly's shoulders)''
57	* Al converts his garage into his own personal man-cave, using tools that belonged to his father (including a hammer that Al had special attachment to). He then drops the news on his family, and is willing to defend the place to his death.
58	-->'''Peggy''': Al, you're not really thinking about moving away from me and the baby?\
59	'''Al''': Thinking of it? I did it! Be gone, jackals!\
60	'''Peggy''': But Al~!\
61	''(An enraged Al raises his father's hammer, which [[PowerGlows glows with a white, radiant aura]].) [Exit Peggy, Bud and Kelly]''
62	** Though it doesn't last long and Peg, Marcy and co. quickly start using it for their "woman stuff" including feminist meetings, Al finally has enough of it and must destroy what he created. With his bare hands and his father's spirit telling him it's the right thing to do.
63	* The episode where Kelly actually turns down a guy and he responds "put out or get out" resulting in her walking home. After a series of events Kelly manages to steal the guy's car, as he's walking home, he happens across Bud, and complains about what happened to him. Bud gives him a consoling "bros-before-hos" type hug, before he reveals he's coming home from a date where he just caught chicken pox, says he's Kelly's brother, and coughs on the guy.
64	* In "The Computer Show", Al repeatedly fails to train Buck to fetch his slippers, and he has to pay for an expensive computer the family wanted but won't use. Worse, when they're alone, the computer mocks him. When he can't take it anymore, Al leaves for the garage and comes back... with a sledgehammer. After smashing the computer, Al turns to Buck, saying, "Now, about those slippers." Buck quickly runs off and returns with the slippers.
65	* In "The Unnatural", Al has had a rough time of it, so he is replaced by his baseball team with a younger, stronger player. However, before the championship game is over, Marcy, as the umpire ([[ItsAllAboutMe constantly trying to spice up her calls with fist pumps]]) accidentally slugs the new player and knocks him out cold. The team has no one else to fill in, so Al milks that they now need him - first making Peg, Kelly and Bud sing his praises. At bat, he purposefully racks up two strikes, but then points to the outfield ''à la'' Babe Ruth. He hits a winning home run, but refuses to cross the plate until he gives a [[Film/ThePrideOfTheYankees Lou Gehrig-type speech]].
66	-->"Before I cross home plate and bring home the first-ever championship to the Mallers, I would just like to say that... today-today-today-today... I consider you-you-you... the luckiest team... on the face of the Earth-Earth-Earth. And in closing I'd like to say, I hate you all. I thank no one but myself. As of today, I, Al Bundy, am finished with baseball. ''(walks toward the plate)'' [[PunctuatedForEmphasis M... V... P!]]"
67	* Near the end of the "Breaking Up Is Easy To Do" 3-parter, it turns out that Peg's new beau Bruce is a RichBitch [[BitchInSheepsClothing In Sheep's Clothing]], and he has badmouthed Peg. Kelly responds by [[GroinAttack kicking him in the balls]], and Bud takes care of the rest.
68	** Though at the same time, you gotta give credit to Bruce for giving Peg a much needed reality check to that Al is the only person in the world who will back down to her lecherous and lazy habits. Even if she didn't change after this episode, it was long overdue given her delusions she could do better.
69	* In the climax of "The Desperate Half-Hour", Al gets shot in the chest by Starla, [[PocketProtector but is saved by his lucky shoehorn]].
70	* After the Dodge seemingly breaks down for good in the "Requiem for a Chevyweight" two-parter, Al goes looking for a new car. He buys a very expensive new car, but it turns out to be worse than the Dodge and the salesman brushes him off when he complains about it. At the end of the episode, Al drives the new car up to the front of the dealership.
71	-->''(honking the horn)'' "HEY, CAL! YOUR PAL AL HAS A LITTLE PRESENT FOR YA!" ''(drives the car through the dealership's window)''
72	* In one Christmas episode, Al finally has all his debts paid off and ACTUALLY has some extra money for presents, so he spends some time picking out a series of thoughtful gifts for everyone in the family, only to have his credit card inexplicably denied. Come Christmas morning, everyone has bought each other amazing gifts, and berate Al for being so thoughtless as to get them nothing. He then finds out that everyone used HIS credit card to buy each other AND themselves gifts. He proceeds to punish their theft and hypocrisy by picking up all the gifts that "he bought for himself" and going into the basement to enjoy HIS Christmas while everyone else is left to stew in the guilt of what they did.
73	* Kelly and Bud laying down a Pro-Wrestling type smackdown on some stuck-up nerds who invited Kelly as a "Dumb date."
74	* In season 4's "The Agony of De-Feet," Al thinks he's going to be judging a beauty contest, and Bud thinks he slept with Marcy. Bud's sitting on the couch when Al gets home. Bud, without looking, holds his hand up, and Al, without looking, slaps it as he walks by. It turns out neither of the things that made them so happy is true, but that rare moment of triumph, from both at the same time, was awesome.
75	* The climax of the episode "Damn Bundys", which involves Al selling his soul to Satan and ending up in Hell, followed by the rest of his family, and then Marcy and Jefferson, has the cast taking on Satan's LegionOfDoom in a touch football game (consisting of Genghis Khan, Brutus, Eric The Red, Attila The Hun and Goliath). To no surprise, they get their asses handed to them at first, becoming increasingly demoralized. However, in a last ditch effort, the cast manages to evade Satan's team through trickery (Bud even takes down Goliath using a classic stone sling), and Al is about to score the winning field goal... only for Satan to freeze time and offer to send him back to Earth without his family, along with three gorgeous demon girls, if he forfeits the goal. Al briefly considers it... [[AwLookTheyReallyDoLoveEachOther only to shrug and catch the ball, sending him and his family back to Earth]]. Al wakes up in his living room, clutching can of Pringles instead of the football, the episode seemingly AllJustADream... except in his pocket, [[OrWasItADream he finds the Red Hots Satan gave him before]].
76	* As of 2017, exactly 30 years after the first episode aired, it is still the longest-running live-action sitcom ever to run on Fox.
77	* One episode sees the Bundys stuck on the freeway in traffic. Al tries to bolster their spirits with an annoying song, only for a father in a nearby car to start cussing him out. First, everyone joins in the song just to further irritate the guy, but when he threatens to get violent, Al says "[[TranquilFury Peg, take the wheel]]" and gets out. The other man continues trash talking, and Al uses the opportunity to grab him by the throat and ''pummel him against the hood of the car.'' Peg and the man's wife get out and try to get them to stop...but the other woman [[BerserkButton makes a fatal mistake]] when she calls Al a "moron." Cue Peg backhanding the woman to kingdom come, and beginning her ''own'' brawl. The man's family leaps out of the car to help, but Kelly and Bud are ready for them: Kelly takes out the daughter with a series of mean right hooks, while Bud treats the son to a few patented Bundy elbow drops.
78	* In "Un Alful Entry", Al knocks out a burglar who broke into his house and the burglar sues him for $50000 in compensation. When the judge declares Al guilty and orders him to pay, this happens:
79	-->'''Al:''' So for hitting this guy I get charged $50,000 which I don't have? Well, hell, I may as well go for a hundred. (punches him again)
80	** Even better, following this, Al turns the tables on him and sues him for hurting his hand on his face saying he can't sell shoes as a result.
81	** Even ''better'', as Peg and Al are lying in bed discussing this, he turns to her with genuine happiness and enthusiasm and. . .cue SexyDiscretionShot.
82	* In "Crimes Against Obesity", as Al has plans to go out for his birthday and cash in various birthday coupons he has, but is trapped in the show store and put on trial by the women he's insulted over the years, and every time he insults them during the trial, they tear up a coupon. While Peg initially testifies against Al when she comes to pick him up, she then realizes what the judge is tearing up.
83	-->'''Peg:''' Hey! Those are our dinner coupons, you fat cow! \
84	'''Woman:''' Excuse me! We don't like to be called fat. \
85	'''Peg:''' ''matter-of-factly'' Then stay home. \
86	'''Al:''' ''grinning with approval'' You go girl!
87	* In "Grime and Punishment", Al starts charging Bud rent to live in the basement. Bud retaliates by calling a health inspector and having his father trapped in the basement with an electric shock collar until he makes the repairs needed to make the place acceptable. Although Al still refuses, he lets Marcy and Kelly torture Al with Marcy reading Al a poem about taking control of her own orgasms and Kelly doing a one-woman improv of American history. What eventually works is Peggy going down to the basement and having sex with Al. Al finally agrees to make the repairs, and not only assures Bud he won't get any revenge but is even [[SoProudOfYou proud of him]] for living up to Bundy family tradition. Al then explains how his own father (Bud's grandfather) sold his Schwinn bicycle for beer money when Al was a little kid. Little Al was so angry that he enrolled his father into the Army and got him shipped off to fight in the UsefulNotes/KoreanWar.
88	* For all their bickering and fighting, Kelly shows that family comes first when a girl at school humiliates Bud in public. She tells Bud it'll be okay as things like this come around again. [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KZjpusrfj8E Cut to the girl]] chained to the school lockers and only wearing a towel tied to a rope attached to Buck's collar. A large sign reading "DON'T MESS WITH A BUNDY" is taped to the lockers next to her. Then, just as the bell rings to allow classes to exit, Kelly calls for Buck to run towards her and drag the towel behind him...
89	* Al's IShallReturn speech in "Where's The Boss?"
90	-->'''Al:''' I'm not going to just disappear. You'll see me again. Wherever a fat woman shoves a smelly foot in front of some poor guy's face, I'll be there. Wherever someone comes into the store and tries to exchange a pair of shoes he's been wearing for 3 months, I'll be there. And whenever kids come into the store, take off their old shoes and try to sneak out with new ones, I'll be there too. (to fat woman) Madam, when Shamu needs a mate, you'll be there.
91	* On Bud's 18th birthday, Peg has planned a humiliating party for him that's better suited to a kid half his age. Instead, Al takes Bud to the nudie bar where they bond over looking at strippers and then get into a bar fight. One of the bar patrons offers the rookie Bud a free shot, and Bud smashes him over the head with a chair, which [[SoProudOfYou makes Al laugh proudly]]. The episode ends with Al and Bud coming home, and Al mentioning how proud he is of Bud for continuing the family tradition of getting into his first bar fight when he was 18.
92	** Doubly awesome because the bar fight itself is about a minute long and is a ''single extended shot'' using a single steady camera with no cutaways or anything else that would indicate multiple takes welded together. It involved roughly ten actors/stuntmen fighting Ed O'Neill, David Faustino, and each other (it's hard to count exactly how many there are precisely). It may be the best fight scene ever filmed for TV. It's certainly a contender for the title. [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zp4cO4Nxk0c Watch it here]].
93	* Al getting his just desserts when he takes Peg to the local bowling alley for her birthday, so that ''he'' can bowl and break his previous record. She gets so annoyed and bored that she herself starts bowling too, and proceeds to bowl strike after strike. By the time Al realizes that she's not only going to break his record, she's going to bowl a perfect game, he can't talk her out of quitting and has to endure the public humiliation of her beating him. All of which could have been avoided had he taken her someplace nice for her birthday.
94	* In "If Al Had A Hammer", Bud takes up a fake bad boy rapper persona (a la an expy of ''The Fresh Prince Of Bel Air'') to pick up chicks and he actually manages to win over one gorgeous babe for his girlfriend. Later, he performs an impromptu improvised rap for her about his DarkAndTroubledPast before going in for a smooch. All this lasts until he is humiliated by his (pregnant) mother, sister and late grandfather's magic hammer.
95	-->'''Bud (as his Grandmaster B persona):''' ''(beatboxing, rapping)'' You came from the streets, where everyone meets / guns in the night, put you under the sheets / can't love no one cause he's on the run / sleeps in the alleys, waits by the sun / listens to the sirens, thinking that for me / it's a lonely life for Grandmaster B, yes a lonely life for Grandmaster B! ''(folds arms, audience cheers "yeah!")''.
96	* In one episode, Peggy asks Bud and Kelly to teach her about sports so that she can understand what's going on and genuinely bond with Al when he's watching. By the episode's end, she's become so knowledgeable that ''she's'' the one telling ''Al'' "Shut up, I'm watching the game" when he asks her what's going on. (He's laid up with an injury and can't see or hear the TV clearly)
97	* Bud’s revenge on his family in “Weenie Tot Lovers and Other Strangers.” To elaborate: Bud is screwed out of the $100 needed to go meet the President thanks to Kelly’s opportunity to become Miss Weenie Tot, and thus [[KickTheDog misses out a shit-ton of gifts and once-in-a-lifetime opportunities (and endures the apathy of his parents)]] due to Al’s selfish desire for one of the perks of Kelly’s new job: a year’s supply of Weenie Tots, his favorite food. When Peg finds out about a contest for $50,000 and opens all of the Weenie Tot boxes, exposing them to air and disintegrating them, Al is ready to kill her until she finds she has the winning ticket. The pair are almost out the door to separate vacations when Bud enters the house, finds out about the contest, and then demands all the money their pockets to let them keep the ticket… [[TheDogBitesBack and then gleefully reveals that since Kelly is an employee of Weenie Tots, she and her family are ineligible.]] This leads to them pulling a scam with Jefferson and Marcy to get half of the prize money, leading to [[HumiliationConga the D’arcys being arrested by the IRS for a scam Jefferson pulled, having to surrender the prize money and their assets to pay for it, Kelly losing her job thanks to her stupidity, Peg and Al losing out on their half of the prize money, and Al getting arrested as well… his only consolation being that his dinner in jail will be Weenie Tots.]]
98	* In "Can't Dance, Don't Ask Me", Kelly is forced to take tap-dancing classes after insulting the kids who do. She spends the entire time complaining and making snide comments about the "nerds, geeks, dweebs", etc., in the class. But when it's time for the recital, she suddenly resolves not to humiliate herself and promptly gives an ''excellent'' performance with the school janitor--who turns out to be quite talented himself--that's so sexy, every couple in the auditorium starts making out.
99	* In "Kelly Takes A Shot", Kelly competes in an archery contest to win an acting job for Friar Tuck's, a Myth/RobinHood themed restaurant chain. Bud helps her train to become an [[{{Malaproper}} "architect"]], and even agrees to participate in her WilliamTelling final trick shot. Kelly is gratified at Bud's supporting her, and she starts to cry TearsOfJoy. The tears blur her vision, and Kelly realizes she might kill Bud if she takes the shot. She bows out of the contest, and her rival Beth calls her a "candy ass." [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yS4x6OuDh-o Kelly snarks back "Candy this!" and shoots the apple with pinpoint accuracy without her even looking.]] Bud screams in terror, but realizes he's unharmed.
100	* The ending of "Driving Mr. Boondy". After Bud deliberately goes out of his way to screw with Al in retaliation for making him get a job despite the fact he wanted Al to give him $700, he still intends to fail Al despite the fact he got to go to Oktoberfest anyways and even [[ThrowTheDogABone scored with a hot babe]]. Al, who drove just fine during the test, only losing points for things Bud told him to do, things that weren't against the rules such as complaining, or throwing his rearview mirror out the window because he understandably didn't want to watch the AutoErotica going on, points out that his car is the only means he has to leave when he bring his dates over and will be in his underwear, which would surely scare them off. Bud wisely gives him the license he rightfully earned.
101	* Al abusing his new standing in the community to deliver some long overdue payback to Marcy by framing her for removing the smog device on her car (Jefferson did that) and getting her demoted to drive up teller again.

Context Awesome / MarriedWithChildren