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1----
2Given its RapidFireComedy and GeniusBonus-heavy nature, ERB frequently sees candidates for this popping up on an almost every-line basis.
3
4Back to WebVideo/EpicRapBattlesOfHistory
5
6[[foldercontrol]]
7----
8[[WMG:Season 1]]
9
10[[folder:John Lennon vs. Bill O'Reilly]]
11* John Lennon's second verse:
12** "Well, ya can't buy me love, But I'll kick your ass for free."
13** Ending his second stanza in his rap battle against Bill O'Reilly by telling him to ''shut the '''[[PrecisionFStrike fuck]]''' up''.
14* Bill O'Reilly has these:
15** "I'd rather suck George Bush's dick than Yoko Ono's!"
16** "Because I'm evil, heart blacker than Don Cheadle. Ten thousand dollar shoes I use to stomp out a Beatle"
17[[/folder]]
18
19[[folder:Darth Vader vs Adolf Hitler Trilogy]]
20!!! The first rap battle
21* Hearing Darth Vader call Hitler a bitch may be the greatest thing ever recorded to film.
22* "[[IncomingHam I AM ADOLF HITLER!]] Commander of the Third Reich! Little-known fact: [[SuddenlyShouting ALSO DOPE ON ZE MIC!]]"
23** "You use the force to move objects, ''I AM A FORCE TRULY EVIL'', I even went back in time and turned you vack in ze prequel!"
24** "You stink, Vader, your style smells something sour/ You need to wash up, dawg. [[CrossesTheLineTwice Here, step in my shower! I'LL TURN ALL YOUR FRIENDS AGAINST YOU! JUST MY SPEECHES BREED HATERS!]]"
25* "You can't rhyme against the Dark Side of the Force, why even bother? So many dudes been with YourMom, who even knows if [[IAmYourFather I'm your father?]]"
26** Doubly funny when you consider the theories that Hitler had at least a few MommyIssues.
27* "SUCK MY ROBOT BALLS!!"
28** "A little carbonite bath, for your goose-stepping ass/ We'll call my homeboy in Israel, see who got the last laugh"
29!!! The second rap battle
30* Just having the rematch itself is awesome.
31* Vader (in the rematch) gets one right away: "Someone who loathes you, bitch! Now stand up and rhyme! I only thawed you out so I could beat your ass a second time!"
32** The whole flipping-him-on-his-ass thing helped too.
33* Vader removing his helmet for a brief moment.
34* "Ask Franchise/IndianaJones who the fuck I am, I spit sick shit so focused, I break your concentration camp!"
35** "I strike back hard against a Nazi! Brain toss your ass in the air...Yahtzee!"
36* Hitler, despite having been just recently unfrozen, came back ''strong''... Until being dropped into the Rancor Pit.
37---> "Where is ze DJ?"
38** "You look stressed, Vader/You appear to be in pain/You need a vacation/Here, [[RunningGag take a trip on my train.]]"
39** "You got one bitch pregnant, then gave into the hate! Now you're 6'6" and black but can't get a date!"
40** "You couldn't get your own son into the family business. Everything you do is an ''epic fail!'' / Now stand at attention, and ''sieg'' ''fucking'' ''heil!''"
41** (When Vader [[RageQuit rage quits]]) "What's wrong Ani? Can't take it any more? Not surprising coming from the Emperor's whore. Yeah, take zat."
42* Stephen Hawking making another appearance, supposedly being TheDragon to Vader now.
43!!! The third rap battle
44* In the promo for Season 3, Hitler takes out the Rancor that was going to eat him with a ''[[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Luger_pistol regular Luger pistol]]''. ''{{Offscreen|MomentOfAwesome}}''.
45** Him doing the same to Boba to [[KilledMidSentence interrupt his verse]] in the actual battle is pretty awesome. Especially given his follow up line;
46--> '''Hitler:''' Oh Sieg Hell No!
47* Hitler pulls off an awesome flip just before starting his rap.
48* Vader's entire verse.
49** The music for the third rap ranks among the best in the series.
50** Vader delivers one of the best flows in ERB history:
51-->''Let me [[HistoricalInJoke paint you a picture]], son\
52Portrait of a bitch after UsefulNotes/WorldWarI\
53You were stirring up the fears of the German people\
54Telling the world that the Jews are evil.\
55You [[Literature/MeinKampf wrote a little book]], got 'em fired up\
56Had a Beer Hall Putsch, got 'em fired up\
57And when your bunker started getting fired up\
58You put a gun in your mouth and '''[[AteHisGun fired up!]]'''''
59** Vader utterly shredding Hitler about him being a GeneralFailure. This is the first thing that starts Hitler's VillainousBreakdown.
60-->''You dumb motherfucker\
61Didn't Napoleon let you know?\
62When you conquer Russia\
63[[GrimUpNorth Better pack some fucking winter clothes!]]''
64* Hitler's opening line:
65-->SCREW YOU! You big black cunt!\
66I'll kick your balls and your face!\
67A war on two fronts!
68** And his brilliant: "I put ze Germ, in ze Germany, I'M SICK ON THIS MIC!"
69* Boba Fett. Even though he's only around for about eight seconds, those eight seconds are ''awesome''.
70-->''They call me Boba Fett!\
71You wanna mess with me?\
72I'll put my balls in your mouth,\
73Like boba tea!\
74I got a jetpack yo, you know I steal the show!\
75Cause when I rock the microphone-*Gunshot and Wilhelm Scream*
76** Not to mention that Hitler shot him because he thought having Boba Fett rap was [[TooCoolToLive cheating]]!
77** Vader finishes the battle by [[HalfTheManHeUsedToBe losing his patience and slicing Hitler in two]], avenging Boba in the process.
78* By the time this battle came out, Disney had bought Lucasfilms. Ergo, Hitler had more material to use against Vader. And yet, Vader still beat Hitler to the point that he had resorted to spouting random insults.
79
80[[/folder]]
81
82[[folder:Chuck Norris vs. Abraham Lincoln]]
83* Lincoln has a few badass lines:
84-->I've read up on your facts; you cure cancer with your tears?\
85Well tell me, Chuck, how come you never sat down ''and cried on your career''?\
86You're a washed-up has-been, on TV selling Total Gyms,\
87and you're gonna lose this battle, like you lost ''[[Film/WayOfTheDragon Return of the Dragon]]''!
88** "I never told a lie and I won't start now; you're a horse with a limp, I'll put you DOWN!"
89** "I got ''my'' face on the side of a mountain: ''You'' [[NeverLiveItDown voted for John McCain]]!"
90** "You block bullets with your beard? I catch 'em with my SKULL!"
91* Chuck Norris' ''entire second verse.''
92-->'''I AM CHUCK FUCKING NORRIS!!!!\
93[[BoastfulRap I'VE SPREAD MORE]] [[{{Gorn}} BLOOD AND GORE THAN FORTY SCORE]]\
94[[UsefulNotes/AmericanCivilWar OF YOUR PUNY CIVIL WARS,]] [[ThisIsForEmphasisBitch BITCH]]!!!!!\
95I SPLIT THE UNION WITH A ROUNDHOUSE KICK!!!!\
96I WEAR A BLACK BELT ON THE BEARD THAT I GROW ON MY ''DICK!!!''\
97I ATTACK SHARKS WHEN I SMELL THEM BLEED!!!\
98I DON'T GO SWIMMING! WATER JUST ''WANTS'' TO BE AROUND ME!!!\
99MY FISTS MAKE THE SPEED OF LIGHT WISH THAT IT WAS FASTER!!!\
100YOU MAY HAVE FREED THE SLAVES, BUT CHUCK IS ''EVERYONE'S'' MASTER!!!'''
101** Even ''Lincoln'' can't help but just stare in shock at this.
102* The fact that Lincoln, knowing what godlike entity he was facing, showed no fear, and tore Chuck's cred to shreds in minutes, makes fun of everything he represents, and counters Chuck's first verse by simply yelling the whole thing at the top of his lungs and further humiliating him.
103[[/folder]]
104
105[[folder:Sarah Palin vs. Lady Gaga]]
106* "Oh boy. Look what we have here? A transvestite with a keyboard trying to be freak of the year."
107** "Your music doesn't scare me, I'm a mother of five! I killed moose with my bare hands before you were alive!"
108* Gaga to Palin: "You are the sum of everything I despise, with the most dysfunctional family since the [[Music/MichaelJackson Jackson]] ''[[PrecisionFStrike fucking]]'' [[WesternAnimation/TheJackson5ive Five]]!"
109** "Just trust me, your 15 minutes of fame came and went. Go back to your igloo; spend some time with your kids before they're pregnant."
110** "I sound more intelligent than you when I fart!"
111** "History will regret you like J-J-J-UsefulNotes/JohnMcCain!"
112[[/folder]]
113
114[[folder:Hulk Hogan and Randy Savage vs. Kim Jong-il]]
115* Hulk Hogan gets in a few creative threats:
116** "You've got a ringside seat to your own smackdown, brother!"
117** "C'mon, dude! All the little Hulksters know; I'll hang you from the ropes like a [[Film/TeamAmericaWorldPolice South Park puppet show]]!"
118* "[[AGodAmI I'm a God among men]]; you're a Film/SuburbanCommando!
119** "[[ThisIsForEmphasisBitch North Korea, bitch!]] Let me give you a tour; by the way, your wife said MY DICK IS BIGGER THAN YOURS!"
120* Macho Man taking over for Hulk Hogan after Kim Jong-Il injures him with a missile launcher.
121-->"The Macho Man, there is no equal; so spend less time rapping and start ''feeding your people!''"
122** The very fact that the rocket doesn't turn Hulk Hogan into giblets could be seen as a [=CMOA=].
123* In 2019, [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zlu_SVDTUF4 a re-edit was published]] to [[TechnologyMarchesOn update the visual effects to bring them more in line with the modern raps]].
124[[/folder]]
125
126[[folder: Ludwig van Beethoven vs. Justin Bieber]]
127* Beethoven's first stanza, but '''especially''' his first line. Acompanied by a shout out to his infamous fifth symphony to boot. What makes this really impressive is that Beethoven was commonly reported to be a hothead. Certainly shows here.
128** "Sit down, son, and let me give you a music lesson/ask Bach, I've got more cock than Smith & Wesson!"
129** I've crafted masterpieces that will last throughout the ages! Your music gets you bitches on your Website/{{Facebook}} pages!"
130** "I'm commitin' verbal murder in the major third degree! My name is '''Beethoven''', mother-fucker, ''[[YouHaveNoIdeaWhoYoureDealingWith maybe you've heard of me?]]''"
131*** Even better, the Behind the Scenes reveals that when Beethoven makes Bieber be an usher, the piece of paper Beethoven hands him ''literally'' says "My name is '''Beethoven''', ''motherfucker''."
132** "You wanna trade blows? You can't even hit puberty!"
133** "You want to be a little white Usher? Here, show 'em to their seats!"
134* Hate him or not, you have to admit it was a real CurbStompCushion moment on Bieber's part when he threatened Beethoven that he'd catch his Bieber fever, and then Beethoven showed signs of actual illness.
135-->"Here's some aspirin; you're catchin' Bieber Fever tonight!"
136** Another one from Bieber to Beethoven "When's the last time your music got anybody laid?"
137** Also, "Now that you're right next to me, I can understand why they used a dog to play you in the movies!"
138** Another damn good slam is "Your own music made you deaf!"
139*** To which Beethoven retorts "I'm glad I'm deaf so I can't hear that piece of shit 'My World'!"
140
141[[/folder]]
142
143[[folder:Stephen Hawking vs. Albert Einstein]]
144* Really, the entirety of episode 7. The two characters weren't horribly mismatched in terms of rhythm and lyrical skill, unlike some other match-ups. Both characters deliver very intelligent lines, and the auto-tune job on Hawking's voice was a nice touch.
145* Einstein comes out swinging with: "When I apply my battle-theory, minds are [[UsefulNotes/{{Relativity}} relatively]] blown. So take a seat, Steve... oop.. I see you brought your own"
146** "I'll school you anywhere: MIT to Oxford! All your fans will be like 'Um, that was Hawk-ward...' I'm as dope as two rappers, you better be scared, 'cause that means [[{{Pun}} Albert E equals MC SQUARED!"]]
147** "You can't destroy matter or me, for serious! Rippin' holes in you bigger than the hole in your black hole theory waaaaaaaas!"
148* Hawking begins with "[[YouHaveNoIdeaWhoYoureDealingWith Yooooooooooou've... got no idea what you're messin' with here, boy]]. [[ConspicuousConsumption I got 12 inch rims on my chair]]: that's how I roll, ya'll! You look like someone glued a moustache on a troll doll!"
149** "I'll be stretchin' out the rhyme, like gravity stretches time, when you try to put your little [[{{pun}} p-brane]] against this kind of mind!"
150** I'm the Music/SnoopDogg of Science!
151** His second verse begins just as well, preceded by a DeathGlare at Einstein's latest diss: "There are 10 million million million million million million million million particles in the Universe that we can observe... [[YourMom Yo Momma]] took the ugly ones and put them into one nerd."
152** "While it's true that my work is based on you, I'm a supercomputer, you're like a TI-82[[note]]a calculator model[[/note]]!"
153[[/folder]]
154
155[[folder:Genghis Khan vs. The Easter Bunny]]
156* Genghis Khan's laugh.
157* "You've got two giant ears but can't hear that you suck" was an awesome line too.
158** "From Poland to Korea I ravaged the land, now my DNA's in dudes from New York to Japan".
159** "Easter my ass, you're not in the Bible/You're a fluffy bitch mascot for Hallmark in denial!"
160*** Khan pulls out a Bible for the sake of proving his point.
161* For being such a laughable opponent, the Easter Bunny sure has some insanely ''awesome'' insults.
162** "The Great Waaaaaall couldn't keep you outta China! Watch me rub my foot for luck and stick it right up your vagina!!"
163** "Ooooooooooooh! Whatcha gonna do? You got a ''bucket'' on your head and a Fu Manchu!"
164* The Behind the Scenes reveals that Epic Lloyd manages to draw his sword and cut the easter egg in half, in just ''one take''.
165[[/folder]]
166
167[[folder:Napoleon Bonaparte vs. Napoleon Dynamite]]
168* Napoleon Dynamite's line about "Waterloo, Pt. 2" had a cool delivery.
169** I don't even care how many, like, stupid Prussians you killed, 'cos to me, you're just the emperor of the '''[[Film/TheWizardOfOz LOLLIPOP GUILD!]]'''
170* Napoleon Bonaparte's last line. Also doubles as a SugarWiki/{{Funny Moment|s}}.
171---> "[[Film/NapoleonDynamite You're]] the only type of dynamite that's ''never'' [[VirginShaming going to bang]]!"
172[[/folder]]
173
174[[folder:Benjamin Franklin vs. Billy Mays and Vince Offer]]
175* "I'm big Ben Franklin and this shan't be pretty. Let me instruct you how we battle in the city of Philly."
176** "You couldn't sell Rick James a bag of crack; you're out of practice. My victory's more certain than death or taxes."
177* "I'm mint. I'm money! I'm an [[GentlemanAndAScholar educated gentleman]]."
178** "Call me Arthur Miller son, cause it's Theatre/DeathOfASalesman."
179* "Hi, Billy Mays here with a special TV offer: watch me crush this bald [[AddedAlliterativeAppeal fat foppish founding father!]]" While he says this, Billy has his typical smile and breaks a table in two with one hand.
180** Billy Mays also got this:
181--> "[[NoIndoorVoice I'M LORD OF THE PITCH!]] And leader in home sales. You're just a lumpy pumpkin who invented the mail! Benny's got kite 'n key, but you're in for a shock when I strike you with bolts from my [[InnocentInnuendo LIGHTNING ROD COCK]]!
182** Said "lightning rod cock" being a [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin rooster-shaped lightning rod]] shooting ''fucking lightning''.
183* When Billy Mays dies from a heart attack, the Announcer calls out "[[TakeUpMySword Is there anyone out there who can finish this fight? Anyone... Anyone....]]" On a background that could be in an epic, Vince Offer [[MundaneMadeAwesome unsheathes a Shamwow cloth like a sword]] and declares "I can!"
184** "You followin' me, camera guy? 'Cause it's about to get furious! [[MemeticMutation You're gonna love my nuts]] 'til you're [[{{Pun}} bi-focal-curious!]]"
185** "Your boy George chopped down trees, you couldn't chop a piece of balsa! Slap chop your face, make a double chin salsa!"
186* "Vince against a Founding Father is just too bad, 'cause after this [[BadassBoast America is gonna lose a dad]]."
187** Which is said as Vince ''[[DontMakeMeTakeMyBeltOff takes off his belt]]''.
188[[/folder]]
189
190[[folder:Gandalf the White/Grey vs. Albus Dumbledore]]
191* Just Gandalf starting off with "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" is pure awesome.
192** "I rap fast like [[CoolHorse Shadowfax]]! Tom Riddle me this, you ''bitch'': how's your little wand gonna beat my staff?"
193** "{{You fool}}, you got Snaped! You're not a real fighter! Death makes ''you'' die, [[CameBackStrong it just makes my brights brighter]]!"
194* Just when it looks like Gandalf had the definite upper hand with lines like "your ass is like Gringotts, everyone makes a deposit, we all know you've more than a boggart in your closet", Dumbledore comes back with this:
195--> The prophecy forgot to mention this day
196--> When I ''knocked your ass back to Gandalf the Grey!''
197--> Check your status, they call me headmaster, you're nothing!
198--> Nice staff, you CompensatingForSomething?
199** And after Gandalf throws homophobic lyrics his way, Dumbledore spits back "I prefer the company of wizards and I'm PROUD of it!"
200** Mind you, this is complete with Dumbledore ''literally'' knocking Gandalf back from White to Grey. To give you an idea of what this means: the Supreme God and Creator of Gandalf's universe gave him the power-up to Gandalf the White so that Gandalf could accomplish his mission, and Dumbledore undid it with a swing of his wand.
201** "You think your little hairy-toed friends are gonna harm me? Wait'll you get a taste of DUMBLEDORE'S ARMY."
202* Gandalf then comes back with:
203---> I'LL TIE A NEW KNOT IN YOUR BEARD
204---> WITH YOUR WRINKLY BALLS,
205---> FOR I AM THE ONE RAPPER
206---> TO RULE THEM ALL!
207* The mere fact that Dumbledore managed to put up a fight at all against Gandalf. For comparison, Dumbledore is a powerful wizard, but still a mere mortal. Gandalf is a divine being in humanoid form. DidYouJustFlipOffCthulhu at its finest.
208[[/folder]]
209
210[[folder:Dr. Seuss vs. William Shakespeare]]
211* Shakespeare's first verse is (mostly) delivered in [[PardonMeStewardessISpeakIambicPentameter iambic pentameter]], making for an awesome moment for the writers who managed to deliver an entire verse of smack talk in the same way the RealLife Shakespeare did in his plays.
212** {{Lampshaded}} by the following line, complete with Shakespeare counting off on his fingers as he delivers it:
213--> I hath been iambic on that ass, ye bastard
214** William Shakespeare's rapid-fire rhyming. It's so awe-inspiring that his opponents Dr Seuss and Literature/TheCatInTheHat spend a moment in shocked silence.
215** This extends to anyone who manages to perform the part live. Shakespeare's second verse is widely considered to be the most difficult in all of the Epic Rap Battles of History.
216** Even his slow rhymes do some damage despite the choppy delivery:
217--> My rhymes are classic, your crap is drafted
218--> By a kindergartener high on acid
219** And just for measure, Shakespeare's SophisticatedAsHell in his first verse:
220--> I'll put a slug between your shoulder-blades,
221--> Then ask what light through yonder poser breaks!
222* Literature/TheCatInTheHat does some good lines too, such as:
223--> I would not, could not, on a boat, read any of the boring-ass plays you wrote!
224** And...
225--> You bore people to death! You leave a classroom looking like the end of Theatre/{{Macbeth}}!
226** And of course, his ending line, asserting that his mere arrival makes anything an instant hit.
227--> I got a best-selling book about me coming back!
228[[/folder]]
229
230[[folder:Mr. Rogers vs. Mister T]]
231* Mr. Rogers telling Mr. T to get in his van and to get the [[PrecisionFStrike fuck]] out of his neighborhood.
232* Mr. Rogers also spends Mr. T's first verse casually changing his shoes, paying little-to-no attention, then proceeds to call Mr. T too dumb to spell RIGHT UP TO HIS FACE.
233* Mr. Rogers' portrayal in general is an absolutely perfect AlternativeCharacterInterpretation.
234* Creator/MrT, meanwhile, gets "So before you come to battle with your PBS crap, how 'bout I call up CPS about them kids on your lap, fool?!"
235* At which point Mr Rogers falls into perhaps the most terrifying case-study of TranquilFury seen on ERB.
236* At one point in the battle, Mr Rogers drops to his hands and starts ''breakdancing''. Fun fact: Mr. Rogers did a brief segment on break-dancing, and the child teaching him demonstrated this move!
237[[/folder]]
238
239[[folder:Captain Kirk vs Christopher Columbus]]
240* Columbus to Kirk:
241** "I've got a neck chop for Spock, I'll put a sword through Sulu!" He does just that while he's saying it.
242** "You know... Rapping against you, it's not even fun. It's like someone [[TakeThat set your BRAIN on stun.]]" Also, trying to leave after his first line.
243** "I am the fabric of '''HISTORY''', ''you are a Fictional Stain!'' I'll stick a flag, up your ass, and '''CLAIM YOU FOR SPAIN!'''"
244* "Why don't you boldly go to some place you've never gone before, like India? [[TakeThat Or any destination you]] ''[[NoSenseOfDirection actually set sail for?]]''"
245** "I'll double-fist-punch you, you slave-making bitch! Now take your genocidal ass off of my bridge."
246* "You spaghetti-eating FUCK! How's your spice rack doing?"
247** "I'll be chilling in my spaceship - have fun canoeing."
248[[/folder]]
249
250[[folder:Nice Peter vs. [=EpicLloyd=]]]
251* The fact that a rap battle is how the duo solves their CreativeDifferences.
252* Lloyd had some great lines:
253** "Nice Peter? Who's that? No one gives two shits! Everyone knows your page is just the place the rap battles live! Dude, you're really huge on Website/YouTube, you got a great career. But remember: you got famous off of my idea!"
254** "You're taller than I am, but ''you'' look up to ''me''. The guy who got you your first job in comedy!"
255** "You? A musician? Eh, that's kinda stretching. You wrote 87 songs with the same chord progression!"
256* Peter comes back with "Look at you! Or let me just tell you what I see/ You're a short little sidekick. I'll call you mini-me!"
257* [=KassemG=] single-handedly saving the series with a pep talk to both of the contestants.
258** A pep talk, and repeatedly [[DopeSlap slapping]] Peter.
259[[/folder]]
260
261[[WMG:Season 2]]
262
263[[folder:Master Chief vs. King Leonidas]]
264
265* Master Chief gets kicked into the Hole, like so many Persians before him. Not a problem, he just '''[[OutGambitted levitates]]''' out of it.
266** Also, the MJOLNIR armor Chief wears weighs about 1000 pounds. With Chief inside it, it weighs about 1200 pounds. Leonidas was able to kick that much weight off a cliff with a simple front kick.
267* Leonidas opens with a doozy: "SPARTANS! LET'S START THIS! SHOW THIS PETTY OFFICER WHO'S THE HARDEST!"
268** "Your armor's hard, but my abs are harder! You're in my hood now, Chief: This! Is! SPARTA!!"
269*** And when he says his abs are harder, he proves it by ''breaking a vase over his abs.''
270* Leonidas ends his first verse by kicking Master Chief into the hole before the music cuts out, and it goes completely silent. And then Master Chief comes back completely unfazed!
271** "[[NowItsMyTurn Not. So. Fast.]] Cortana says you're Greek, so why don't you stick these lyrics [[AssShove up your ass]]?"
272* "While you and your companions were all camping in a canyon, took a campaign to your house and showed your queen my [[BiggerIsBetterInBed plasma]] [[UnusualEuphemism cannon!]]"
273** Made better by said queen's casual shrug pretty much confirming it.
274*** This is even more awesome when you read the Halo tie-in novels. According to page 57 of Halo: The Fall of Reach, one of the risks of Spartan augmentation was...wait for it...reduced sex drive! Ergo, there is a substantial possibility that the Chief didn't actually care about screwing Leonidas' wife as much simply pissing his opponent off!
275** "They shoulda thrown your rhymes over the cliff because they're sickly. You may not enjoy this, but [[BadassBoast it will be over quickly.]]"
276* "I don't ''need'' firepower when I'm rocking these guns!"
277** "I'd look you in the eyes, but you're too much of a BITCH TO [[TheFaceless SHOW YOUR FACE!]]"
278* "You got a bad case of no shirt there Fabio Flintstone, your whole plan got messed up by a hunchback with Down Syndrome!"
279** "300 asses need a kicking, give more teabags than Lipton, so why don't you quit your bitching, [[FlippingTheBird my trigger finger's itching]]."
280[[/folder]]
281
282[[folder:The Mario Brothers vs. The Wright Brothers]]
283* The Wright Brothers:
284** "You think we're scared of two idiots [[MushroomSamba addicted to shrooms]]?!"
285** Also:
286-->'''Orville''': You shoulda-woulda-coulda come to lose an extra life!
287-->'''Wilbur''': So just [[SayingSoundEffectsOutLoud dudda-dudda-dudda]]...
288-->'''Both''': Back down in your pipe!
289** They end their second verse well:
290-->'''Wilbur:''' We'll be pressing all your buttons like we're the controller,
291-->'''Orville:''' Conquer every level of your 2D scroller,
292-->'''Wilbur:''' You talk a lot of trash, but let me tell you somethin'...
293-->'''Orville:''' We're gonna beat you so fast,
294-->'''Both:''' It's like we're holding down the B Button!
295* For the Mario Bros:
296** "Itsa-me, Mario..." "AND LUIGI, MOTHA[[SoundEffectBleep ***]]A!"
297** ''Growing from the mushrooms in the middle of their second verse.''
298** Some particularly good lines:
299-->'''Mario''': We're serving up an 8-bit fist!
300-->'''Luigi''': MADE TO ORDER!
301-->'''Mario''': That'll knock ya off the back of your own stupid quarters!
302-->'''Both''': Like POOOOOOW!!
303-->'''Luigi''': HOW YOU LIKE ME NOW?
304
305-->'''Luigi''': We've been dropping bob-ombs since we started this song!
306-->'''Mario''': Sorry, Wright Brothers,
307-->'''Both''': This time you chose '''wrong!''''
308[[/folder]]
309
310[[folder: Michael Jackson vs. Elvis Presley]]
311* MJ got "I'm the King of Pop, you're the King of Jelly Rolls!" in his first verse, and "Whoopin' your big fat ass with my shiny glove!" in his second verse.
312** "There's only one crown, baby, let the one King rule!"
313* The SugarWiki/AwesomeMusic of MJ's second verse.
314** Especially his trio of rapid-fire song/album references in the space of six seconds; ''"It's about time for a '''Thriller'''! Didn't lose any 'chocolate'; I just added vanilla! I'm goin' '''Off The Wall''', I '''won't stop 'til I get enough'''!"''
315* Elvis' opening line: "I may have died on the shitter/but I don't give a crap!", said in the same tune Elvis sang "Jailhouse Rock."
316** "I stole from black culture; why are ''you'' offended?"
317** "Your daddy beat gold records outta you like alchemy! Don't make me spank you and [[NeverLiveItDown dangle your ass over a balcony]], [[VerbalTic Uh-huh]]!"
318* Elvis' ScrewThisImOuttaHere at the end.
319[[/folder]]
320
321[[folder: Cleopatra vs Marilyn Monroe]]
322* Marilyn effortlessly deflects Cleopatra's criticism of her sleeping with ugly men by pointing out that she also had Creator/MarlonBrando and [[UsefulNotes/JohnFKennedy Jack]] and Bobby Kennedy, while Cleopatra [[BrotherSisterIncest had sex with her brothers.]]
323* Cleopatra makes fun of Marilyn's miscarriages with this blistering line:"You still got no children after your third marriage! You lost so many babies we should call you ''[[CrossesTheLineTwice MISS CARRIAGE!]]''"
324** Note that Marilyn gets three verses in this battle while Cleopatra only gets two. General consensus is that Marilyn ''needed'' that whole extra verse just to come back from the "Miss Carriage" line, and to many viewers even ''that'' wasn't enough.
325** "You got an hourglass figure, [[BrainlessBeauty but that's about it!]] [[WhiteDwarfStarlet A candle in the wind]] who ''can't act for shit!"''
326* Marilyn... [[BerserkButton does not react Kindly]] to the above diss.
327-->'''Creator/MarilynMonroe''': TRANSLATE THIS INTO HIEROGLYPHS! ''YOUR SANDY VAGINA'' '''HAS A [[Film/TheSevenYearItch SEVEN YEAR ITCH]]!'''
328** She evens end the battle with this final bit:
329---> "My best friends are diamonds, you can't beat me! Quit trippin'! [[WalkLikeAnEgyptian Step off and walk your ass home like an Egyptian]]."
330[[/folder]]
331
332[[folder:Steve Jobs vs. Bill Gates vs. HAL 9000]]
333* Steve Jobs interrupting the narrator's announcement of the contestants with "Let me just step right in- I got things to invent."
334** How he ends his first verse: "I need to bring up some Basic shit; why'd you name your company after your dick?"[[note]][[DontExplainTheJoke Bill Gates's company is named Microsoft. Also, their first product was selling versions of the programming language BASIC.]][[/note]]
335* Bill Gates's first verse.
336-->'''Bill Gates''': [[{{Pun}} You blow, Jobs]]! You arrogant prick,
337-->with your second-hand jeans and turtleneck!
338-->I'll drill a hole in the middle of your bony head
339-->with your own little spinning beach ball of death!
340** Gates' comment about giving away Jobs' net worth to AIDS research is also a real-life TruthInTelevision CMOA, as the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation has given over $1B to AIDS research, among countless other donations to other worthy causes.
341** Gates ''smacks Jobs through the internet'' by pounding a iPhone into an iPad, then reaching through with the hand holding the iPad and smacking Jobs with it while his arm protrudes from ''Job's iPad''. Doubtlessly the single most memetic line of the rap.
342-->"[=iPhone, iPad, iPwn, iSmack!=]"
343** Him countering Steve Jobs's [[BadassBoast badass boasts]] about Apple with several of his own about the PC. Usually of the [[DeadpanSnarker deadpan Variety]].
344--->'''Jobs''': Everybody knows Windows bit off Apple!
345--->'''Gates''': I tripled the profits on a PC.
346--->'''Jobs''' All the people with the power to create use an Apple!
347--->'''Gates''': And people with [[BoringYetPractical jobs use PC]].
348--->'''Jobs''': You know, [[LeaningOnTheFourthWall I bet they made this beat on an Apple]]!
349--->'''Gates''': Nope. Fruity Loops. PC.
350--->'''Jobs''': You'll never, ever catch a virus on an Apple!
351--->'''Gates''': Well you can still afford a Doctor if you bought a PC.
352* Steve Jobs getting the last laugh:
353--> "I built a legacy son, you could never stop it. Now, excuse me [[AscendToAHigherPlaneOfExistence while I turn Heaven a profit]]...
354* [[Film/TwoThousandOneASpaceOdyssey HAL 9000]] shows up. His lines are [[CreepyAwesome one part creepy, one part awesome]].
355-->I'm comin' out the socket, nothing you can do to stop it.
356-->I'm in your lap and in your pocket. How you gonna shoot me down when I guide the rocket?
357-->Your cortex just doesn't impress me, so go ahead: try to Turing test me.
358-->I stomp on a Mac, and a PC too. I'm on Linux, bitch! I thought you GNU?
359-->My CPU's hot, but my core runs cold. Beat you in seventeen lines of code!
360-->I think different from the engine of the days of old. Hasta la vista... like Film/TheTerminator told ya.
361** Not to mention when he first appears, Bill Gates' expression quickly changes from triumphant to [[OhCrap genuinely shocked]].
362* The beat the song was set to, hands down one of the most awesome in the series. Even the ''announcer'' sings along to it at the end.
363[[/folder]]
364
365[[folder: Frank Sinatra vs. Freddie Mercury]]
366* Frank opens up with a good one.
367-->'''Sinatra''': Ho! What's wrong with your face, baby? Yikes! With [[BritishTeeth those teeth]] when you're through, there'll be no dust left to bite!
368** "You changed your name to Mercury, you shoulda been Freddie [[UranusIsShowing Uranus!]]"
369* Freddie Mercury's hamminess makes for an awesome performance.
370-->'''Freddie:''' [[NeverHeardThatOneBefore You think I haven't heard those things before]]?
371-->You're just a bully who's too scared to go to war.
372-->You had a hit song called "My Way", but someone else wrote it!
373-->''You're the least talented rat'' '''''in your whole pack of rodents!'''''
374** The best past was that Freddie's first three lines, in spite of following Sinatra's brutal opening zingers, didn't have him going all out as a LargeHam, but having a quiet, yet just-as-powerful TranquilFury. And when he gets to the fourth line, he doesn't just start ChewingTheScenery - [[TheReasonYouSuckSpeech he delivers one of the most brutal verbal beatdowns in all of ERB history!]]
375* The way Freddie continues tearing into Frank;
376--> [[CripplingOverspecialization You've got four notes in your whole range, you can't act and you can't dance]]!\
377I'm more powerful than you when I'm wearing women's pants!\
378Why do you stand there in a suit? It's like you're trying to bore me!\
379When I rock the UK, South America gets horny!\
380Because my songs have balls, they're the ''anthems of victory''!\
381Your music is like the soundtrack to a vasectomy!\
382You're in the pocket of {{the mafia}} and everybody knows--\
383Guinea Dago!\
384('''Sinatra''': ''Guinea dago?!'')\
385Guinea Dago Figaro!
386** Throughout his first verse, Frank sticks to mostly light jabs about attention seeking and Freddie's moustache and yawning throughout Freddie's first verse. Once Freddie busts out "dago"[[labelnote:*]]an anti-italian slur.[[/labelnote]], Frank ''immediately'' gets pissed and starts breaking out the rougher stuff.
387* Sinatra closes out with, "You played butthole roulette, and ''you lost the draw!''"
388* Mercury ends on a cool note, too.
389-->I'm a champion of the world (world!), extinguished in his prime! (prime!)
390-->So kiss my ass , Frankie (ass!), but you'll have to wait in line!
391* The fact that, despite all the bashing from Frank, Freddie remains calm, collected and delivers some of the most epic lines in the history of ERB.
392* [[SugarWiki/AwesomeMusic The Music]] the battle was set to. Arguably one of the most awesome beats in the series. Helps that they used the now-legendary *boom-boom-CLAP* from Queen's "We Will Rock You", awesome music in its own right.
393[[/folder]]
394
395[[folder: Barack Obama vs. Mitt Romney vs. Abraham Lincoln]]
396* Romney gets out some good lines.
397-->'''Romney:''' You see this silver spoon? This dug Mass outta debt. It took you four years to drop unemployment below "8 Percent".\
398You feel that, Barry? You're old news! Everyone's having doubts; and your rhymes are as weak as this economy ''that you've done nothing about!''
399* Despite the fact that Obama gets fewer verses, he has some effective ones.
400** "They say your father was a great man; [[AlwaysSecondBest you must be what's left]]! Need to stop hating on gays; let 'em teach you how to dress!"
401** "So rich and white it's like I'm running 'gainst a CHEESECAKE"
402** "Republicans need a puppet and you fit/Got their hands so far up your rear. Call you Mitt."
403** "I hoped you saved your best rhymes for the second half, 'cause right now, I'm 47% through kicking your ass!"
404** "Now, look, I respect all religions, but it might get a little crazy, if the White House has a [[FlippingTheBird first]], second, and a third lady!"
405* Romney also manages to turn the 47% statement back on Obama:
406-->'''Romney:''' That 40 percent thing got you real mad. What? Did it remind you of how many [[DaddyIssues decent parents]] you had?
407* Obama gets more serious once Mitt Romney insults his wife.
408-->'''Obama''': Uhhh, let me be clear, uh, don't get it twisted. [[TalkToTheFist We'll see how pretty your face is after my fist has kissed it!]]
409* The battle devolves into childish bickering, so UsefulNotes/AbrahamLincoln enters, carried on a gigantic bald eagle, calls both of them out, and leaves as he came.
410-->I'll properly reach across the aisle and bitch smack you as equals!\
411Of the people! *smack* By the people! *smack* For the people! ''EAGLE!''
412** In particular this line he delivers to Obama:
413-->'''Lincoln''': You! I wanna like you! Don't talk about change, ''just do it!'' I fought for what was on my brain [[BoomHeadshot until ]]'''[[BoomHeadshot a bullet went through it!]]'''
414** And how does he address Romney?
415-->'''Lincoln''': And you, Moneybags! [[SleazyPolitician You're a pancake; you're flip-floppily]]! It's a country, not a company you can play like Monopoly!
416** Guess who most people have said was the winner of ''that'' battle... Lincoln.
417* Barack Obama has seen the video, and invited the ERB guys to the White House.
418[[/folder]]
419
420[[folder: Doc Brown vs. Doctor Who]]
421* The Doctor gets a good one early on when he yells at Brown to calm down.
422-->'''10th Doctor''': Calm down, will you? Everything is going to be fine/ You're not going to tear any wonky holes in any "fabric of space and time" - actually, it's a lot more like a rug, really.../Oh, never mind, let's just say there's an infinite number of me ''simultaneously kicking your arse with rhyme.''
423* Doc Brown gets some great burns in:
424** "[[CatchPhrase Great Scot!]] You're great... {{not}}!"
425** "I'm not sure what scientific authority you purport to be, but I'm a ''real'' doctor! Where'd you get ''your'' degree?
426** "I don't know what's lamer: [[TakeThat your fans, or your special effects!]]"
427** Doc Brown calling in a Dalek to kill The Doctor.
428--> '''Doc''': You don't get another change to debate/time to meet your permanent fate! Now Da-lick my balls!\
429'''Dalek''': EXTERMINATE!
430* The 10th Doctor then regenerates... into the 4th doctor.
431--> '''10th Doctor''': Prepare...to meet...
432--> '''4th Doctor''': ...your density!
433** Followed by an amazing MotorMouth sequence.
434--> '''4th Doctor''': I'm a mystical medical doc, at the pinnacle shifting my physical form
435--> You're a possibly pedophilic individual who should've never been born
436--> You got your knickers in a twist while you're sucking on my piccadilly, but I'm a lot lot different
437--> 'Cause you're a pitiful hillibilly hanging with an oedipal kid, who's a bawk-bawk chicken!
438* "''Nobody'' calls me chicken!"
439** Followed immediately by a kickass guitar riff.
440** For context, The 4th Doctor presses Marty's BerserkButton so he opens Doc Brown's second verse with an EpicRiff.
441* Doc fires this at the end of his last verse:
442--> "You're not a cat with nine lives. You're a pussy. (beat) With ''thirteen!"''
443* The Doctor [[ResetButton rewinding the rap battle back to the beginning so he can end the rap battle before he's killed]]. Bonus points for also getting the last word in.
444* In the Behind the Scenes, George Watsky is revealed to have only needed ''two'' takes for his MotorMouth verse.
445** He steals Lloyd's RunningGag about Heroin.
446[[/folder]]
447
448[[folder:Bruce Lee vs. Clint Eastwood]]
449* Ninjas and outlaws are popping out all over the place for a chance to get at Lee and Eastwood, but [[CurbStompBattle they are effortlessly taken down.]] The most incredible part? [[OffhandBackhand Neither of them ever looks at the people they're beating the crap out of]]. Bonus points for the fact that they change between ninjas and outlaws depending on which universe they're in.
450* "I invented Jeet Kune Do, so taste my slipper shoe, here's my 2-finger push-up, [[FlippingTheBird KUNG F-U!!!]]"
451* Bruce Lee riffs on the [[MemeticMutation infamous chair incident]]:
452-->'''Bruce Lee:''' A man who argues with people who aren't even there, is more fit to rap against ''THIS FUCKING CHAIR''!
453** Bruce then ''deflects a chair out of the air towards Clint'' while rapping this verse.
454* Clint Eastwood shoots the chair out of the air, splinters it into tiny pieces, and doesn't miss a beat.
455-->'''Clint Eastwood:''' [[Film/DirtyHarry Do you feel lucky, punk]]? That's what I'm askin'. You can't be too tough; you got killed by an aspirin.
456** "I'd beat you in round 2, but that'd be unbelievable/ [[Film/TheCrow No one in your family ever lived to see a sequel]]" Ouch.
457[[/folder]]
458
459[[folder:Batman vs. Sherlock Holmes]]
460* Batman taunts Holmes with "I've seen better detective work in [[Film/TangoAndCash Tango and Cash]]!"
461** Batman has a good one at the end of his first verse. Bonus points for jumping down hundreds of feet and remaining unscathed.
462--> '''Batman''': Nothing makes me laugh, but I bet your raps can. So bring it on, bitch... I'm Batman!
463* Holmes deducing Bruce Wayne's identity (out of minor details) within twenty seconds of his first rhyme.
464--> '''Holmes:''' I once ''met'' a rich fellow who smelled of guano and pain...\
465'''Watson:''' Holmes, explain!\
466'''Holmes:''' I deduce this deuce stain is Bruce Wayne!\
467'''Watson:''' The billionare?!\
468'''Holmes:''' Yes his wealth would allow this adversary of ours [[WhereDoesHeGetAllThoseWonderfulToys to afford the toys he needs]]...\
469'''Watson:''' (in mocking sing-song) Since he has no superpowers!
470** This:
471-->'''Watson''': I heard he has a British butler.\
472'''Holmes''': Good, then he'll be used to getting served by Englishmen.
473* Robin's verse. Who expected that level of MotorMouth?
474* There is also a reference to [[Film/SherlockHolmes2009 the 2009 movie]], where shortly before beginning his second verse, he says [[AwesomenessByAnalysis this]]:
475--> '''Holmes''': "This mustn't register on an emotional level. First, exploit childhood tragedy, then gesture with pipe. Watson finishes punchline. Next, acknowledge compliment. Conclude with killer catchphrase."
476** And then proceeds to do ''exactly that''.
477--> "I believe your parents' homicide is why you mask your face!\
478You're shamed and traumatized and haunted by the vast disgrace\
479Of watching like a passive waste ''as momma died and daddy was dispatched with haste!''"
480--> "Holmes, you cracked the case!"\
481"You're a batshit crazy '''BASKETCASE'''!"\
482"Bloody good rhymes!"\
483"I've got tonnes! Dissing these Dynamic Douchebags was Elementary, my dear Watson!"\
484"OOOHHHH!!"
485[[/folder]]
486
487[[folder:Moses vs. SantaClaus]]
488* Jolly St. Nick and his helpers manage to hold their own against the SpecialGuest.
489** "I'm from the ''North Pole!''/ that's why my rhymes are ''so cold!''/ I spit diamonds but I'm serving up some ''fresh coal.''" More the flow than the rhyme, but it's very effective.
490** "Or was there something in [[ThouShaltNotKill Rule Six]] I didn't understand?/ My list says 'killed Egyptian Dude; buried him in sand!'"
491* "I'm a jolly bowl a jelly givin' holiday presents/ but all the chosen people ever get for Christmas is jealous.". One of the best flows in the entire Epic Rap Battles of History.
492* They got '''Music/SnoopDogg''' to play Moses.
493** "When I was high on the mountaintop God revealed the truths of the Earth, but he never mentioned a fat ass Papa Smurf"
494** "It takes nine reindeer to haul your fat ass/ You took the Christ out of Christmas, then just added mo' mass!"
495** "You ain't a saint, you a slaver like a Pharaoh in snow/ Stop with the unpaid labor and let my little people go!"
496* Santa brings in his elves for backup in the second verse:
497** "We're magical workers man!/We hang out with reindeers./ Here's a GPS; who gets lost for 40 years?"
498** The phrase "Santa Claus is comin' to town" has never been so badass.
499* From Moses' second verse:
500** "So much drama goin' on in the Israel-BC; it's kinda hard talking directly to the G-O-single-D."
501** "Hand me a chisel; I've got a new commandizzle for y'all; thou shall not let kids sit on a grown man's lap at the mall"
502* The beat itself is pretty awesome as well.
503[[/folder]]
504
505[[folder:Adam vs. Eve]]
506* From Eve's first verse:
507--> "I made a map, motherfucker, and I can read it too/Gives me specific instructions on how to fuck wit' you."
508* [[CurbStompCushion Adam wasn't completely helpless.]]
509--> '''Adam:''' You got a lotion for this/You got a cream for that/Got any perfume that smells like ''get the fuck off my back''?
510** Not to mention:
511-->"It ain't summer, Eve/Don't try to play me like a douche."
512* Eve drops this bomb about the incident that got them kicked out of Paradise:
513--->'''Eve:''' That apple was the best thing I've bit so far: ''now I see how much of a dick you are!''
514** Keep in mind, Paradise was, well, Paradise. Eve is basically saying that being denied a life free of strife was worth seeing Adam for the irresponsible fool he really was.
515[[/folder]]
516
517[[folder:Martin Luther King vs. Gandhi]]
518* The fact they got KEY AND PEELE, two of the most acclaimed comedians working today, on the web series!
519** Better yet: Instead of vicious putdowns, the rap battle consists of them trying to [[PolitenessJudo out-''peace'']] each other!
520* Gandhi raps this:
521-->'''Gandhi:''' [[Film/SlumdogMillionaire Slumdog skillionaire]], first name Messiah! Raps so hot, I spit [[Franchise/StreetFighter Yoga Fire!]]
522** While actually shooting flames from his hand. (A reference to ''VideoGame/StreetFighterII.'')
523** Then there's this gem:
524-->'''Gandhi''': Everything you preach, I said it first / you should jot down these words, plagiarize my whole verse!/ Leave your thoughts on the door, like the real [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Martin_Luther Martin Luther]] / I'm not thinking you shall overcome this, junior! ''*wags finger*''
525* Some great lines from MLK's first verse:
526-->I'm the king of civil rights from the city to suburbia; no shoes no shirt, but I'm ''still'' gonna serve ya!
527-->I admire the way you fought the British power, but I have a dream that one day you'll take a shower!
528-->Like the H in your name, you ought to remain silent, flatten your style like bread- naan violence.
529** And later on, the unbelievably awesome, hammy, brilliant, MLK says:
530-->"I got so much street cred '''''they write my name on the siiiiiiiiiigns!'''''
531* The rap ends with Gandhi and MLK hugging each other while letting in some final disses:
532-->'''MLK:''' Nigga, we got more beef than one of your sacred cows, but I'm about to forgive you ''so hard'' right now.
533-->'''Gandhi:''' I am passively resisting the fact that you suck. I am celibate because ''I don't give a fuck.''
534[[/folder]]
535
536[[folder:Thomas Edison vs. Nikola Tesla]]
537* Edison's flow and disses are surprisingly effective:
538-->'''Edison:''' While you were busy digging ditches and burning bridges
539-->I'm popping out inventions, stacking riches, so go back to your pigeons
540** To make it even more awesome (or disheartening, depending on whose side you're on), Tesla's rhymes might've sounded badass but Edison's [[JerkassHasAPoint rung more true]]; Edison's "don't give a smidgen 'bout your visions if they can't make a buck" line might sound callous but the fact is that Tesla died in poverty after venturing out on his own, so Edison has a [[KickTheDog very dark point]].
541** Tesla's verses accusing Edison of theft had a dark point of their own; Edison did bully and smear others whose inventions or achievements might've threatened his business. Edison's line "I bet you 50,000 dollars" is a reference to the fact that he originally hired Tesla to improve the electrical systems he developed in his lab for the price of fifty grand. Tesla did so, but afterward Edison didn't pay him a cent. And that's not getting into the stuff that happened between them when Tesla left Edison's company.
542* Edison's {{Card Carrying Villain}}y makes for some pretty good burns:
543-->"You never had sex, but you sure got ''screwed by me!''"
544* Nikola Tesla's introduction by itself was badass as all hell.
545-->'''Tesla:''' I see a universe of infinite energy
546-->But no potential for threat from this enemy
547-->[[MyNameIsInigoMontoya So you can call me Tesla, Nikola]], [[BadassInANiceSuit impeccably dressed]]
548-->Giving lessons in electrical nemesis, this will be on the test
549* Edison arguably had one when he blacked out everything, pointing out he invented lightbulbs, sound recording, and motion pictures.
550** Ironic because Tesla discovered how to harness alternating current, which almost all modern electrical appliances run on, including the computer - he could make the same claim even better than Edison could!
551* Building on the point above, that's exactly what Tesla proves, starting with reversing the blackout by powering a lightbulb with nothing but his hands. Then, he becomes one with his most famous invention, and creates an entire lightning storm with only his hands!
552** Complete with Ball Lightning. (3 of them, to be exact!)
553** Everything after that is Tesla turning ShockAndAwe into one Crowning Moment Of Awesome after another, accompanied by the music itself getting an upgrade.
554-->'''Tesla''': You fool! You think you can touch me with this?
555--> You couldn't handle my gifts, with your greedy little mind!
556--> What's inside mine was ahead of its own time!
557--> You did not steal from me; '''you stole me from mankind'''!
558[[/folder]]
559
560[[folder:Babe Ruth vs. Lance Armstrong]]
561* Unpleasant though he may be, Lance has lines like:
562-->'''Lance''': So swing, batter, batter! Show me what a fatter rapper can do!
563-->[[BadassBoast I beat cancer; I can sure as hell crack you!]]
564* Babe Ruth kills it with his first lines:
565-->''You lived strong [and] beat cancer; CONGRATULATIONS,''
566-->''Now I'll drop your ass faster than your own foundation!''
567* From Lance's second verse:
568-->You set records before black men could compete, are you kidding me?
569-->That's like having a pasta contest without Italy!
570** And:
571-->'''Lance''': I'm the pinnacle of physical conditions
572-->While you dip your stick in prostitutes and call it foul tippin'
573-->(Are you trippin'?)
574-->You'll be nothing but a skeleton, messing with the fellow in yellow
575-->Who will be peddling like hell up in the Peloton!
576* Ruth's final stanza [[CurbStompBattle absolutely]] ''[[CurbStompBattle creams]]'' [[CurbStompBattle Armstrong]], starting off as a lighthearted spoof of an old-timey baseball announcer, then getting progressively louder and more intense until he's just roaring, all without pause. It's like watching a runaway train smash through a brick wall.
577-->It's the bottom of the ninth against the Texan in a bathing suit
578-->Filled with more artificial ingredients than a Baby Ruth!
579-->It may be way too soon, but I'm calling my shot
580-->And I'm not talking about those Italian syringes you brought!
581-->The ''Sultan of Swat'' will knock you right ''outta the park'' and round the bases to the sound of ''up-roaring applause!''
582-->While you hang your head in ''shame and disgrace'' '''because'''...
583-->'''''YOU GOT LOST AND FORGOT WHAT REAL SPORTSMANSHIP WAS!'''''
584** The look on Armstrong's face afterwards says it all: Ruth DESTROYED him.
585* Ruth also manages to add insult to injury while Armstrong is still reeling from his TheReasonYouSuckSpeech, resuming his casual, but biting tone from before.
586--> You look tired kid, you've got Sheryl Crowe's feet eyes.\
587Peddle on home to France and maybe bring me back some fries.\
588'Cause if you step to ruth on the mike, I'll fan your fancy bike and all.\
589Yerrr out! With three strikes, and just one ball.
590[[/folder]]
591
592[[folder:Skrillex vs. Mozart]]
593* Mozart's first line is nothing but gold.
594--> "Was that a verse or did you just get the hiccups? I'm a [[Music/TheProdigy Prodigy]], [[FirstNameUltimatum Sonny]], and '''I'm about to SMACK A BITCH UP!'''"
595** Then Mozart references the musical genre and Skrillex's competition.
596---> "I can't believe the way you dress when you dubstep out of the house! You're like an emo Steve Urkel and you reek of [[Music/DeadMau5 dead mouse]]!"
597** His first verse ends with a scorching TakeThat.
598---> "I am the world's greatest composer! No one knows what you are - except a ''lonely little troll'' who knows '''''HOW TO PRESS A SPACE BAR!'''''"
599* Skrillex's second verse is pretty [[LargeHam enthusiastic]]:
600-->'''I attack!''' ''You decay!'' Can't sustain my releases,
601-->sidechain Wolfgang, bangarang you to pieces,
602-->I'm a self-made man, ''you're a slave to your papa,''
603-->'''''I'm a r-r-rock star, MIX YOU WITH THE BASS, AND''''' drop ya
604-->'''''Global!''''' My strobes glow like '''Chernobyl!'''
605-->Kids explode and get '''mobile!'''
606-->''No one even '''knows''' you!''
607-->I make the whole ''world'' move,
608-->You play ''community theatre!''
609-->I gained your same fame from home,
610-->on a blown-out speaker!
611* Mozart's second verse is golden!
612-->Oh, yes, I've heard that EP, and see, I've transcribed it here.
613-->Tell me, what comes after the 68th measure ''of diarrhea?''
614-->What kind of drugs does it take to enjoy this? ''I've no idea!''
615-->I've seen more complexity ''in a couch from IKEA!''
616-->You go piano to '''fortississismo!'''
617-->That means soft to very, very loud. ''''CAUSE I'M GUESSING THAT YOU DIDN'T KNOW!'''
618-->Why don't you put down your cubase and pick up a real bow?
619-->I rocked harder than you when I was ''five years old!''
620* The amount of musical references, both obscure and better-known, is impressive in and of itself. It shows a high amount of work, especially compared to "Ludwig Van Beethoven vs Justin Bieber."
621* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ClNCl6yDIm0 The live performance of the battle]] becomes this when Lloyd is joined by '''''the real Skrillex'''''. And they both rap.
622[[/folder]]
623
624
625[[folder:Rasputin vs. Stalin vs. Lenin vs. Gorbachev vs. Putin]]
626
627* The matchup itself features ''[[SerialEscalation five rappers]]'', something that was until that point unprecedented for the series.
628** [[ActingForTwo Played only by Peter and Lloyd]], yet it's barely noticeable. That's another [=MoA=]
629* Rasputin's first verse was quite awesome, with him chewing out Stalin for killing millions of Russians and making fun of his moustache.
630** His opening lines:
631-->Cool mustache, Wario!\
632Try messing with the Mad Monk? You'll be sorry, yo!\
633How many dictators does it take\
634To turn an empire into a union of ruinous states?
635** He finished off well, too.
636-->[[BadassBoast If you're the Man of Steel, I spit Kryptonite!]]\
637Big dick mystic, known to hypnotize!\
638I could end you with a whisper to your wife!
639* Stalin comes off as genuinely intimidating, in contrast to [[LaughablyEvil Hitler]]:
640-->Look into my eyes, you perverted witch,
641-->[[BadassBoast See the soul of a man who made Mother Russia his BITCH!]]
642-->You think I give a fuck about my wife?
643--> My ''own son'' got locked up in prison,
644-->''And I didn't save his life!''
645-->You got off easy when they pickled that moose cock!
646-->I'll leave your neck in a noose in a trench and shot,
647-->Your whole family, shot, all your wizard friends, shot,
648-->[[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking Anyone who sold you pierogi]], '''shot'''!
649-->Starve you for days 'till you waste away,
650-->I even crush motherfuckers when I'm laid in state!
651-->Pride of Lenin, took Trotsky out of the picture,
652-->Drop the hammer on you harder than I bitch-slapped Hitler!
653* Lenin interrupting the battle like Abraham Lincoln and screaming at Rasputin and Stalin.
654-->[[ShutUpHannibal I have no pride for you who ruined everything]]
655-->My revolution was doing to stop the bougeroise!
656-->I fought the bondage of classes!
657-->The proletariat masses
658-->Have brought me here to spit a thesis against both of your asses!
659** Lenin telling off Stalin for all the atrocities he committed.
660-->Our whole future was bright! ''You let your heart grow dark,''
661-->'''''and stopped the greatest revolution SINCE THE BIRTH OF MARX!'''''
662* Gorbachev interrupting Lenin as well as Rasputin and Stalin. He calls every single one out on their abuse of power, points out how he successfully helped end the Cold War, and then points out his reforms. Even better, one could say that his relatively humble entrance through a simple door is awesome itself, simply owing as to how humble it is.
663-->'''''If your name ends with 'in', time to get [[StealthPun out]]!'''''
664* Putin's reveal. Gorbachev was content with just entering through a door, and Lenin was too furious to make a fancy entrance, but Putin? Giant Jumbotron with his face on it. And then he tears through it and starts gloating about himself.
665-->Da, you want to mess with me? I spit hot borscht when I'm crushing these beats!\
666Blow it up like a tuba while I'm balling in Cuba; doing judo moves and schooling every communist cyka!
667* The last shot features the rappers in the episode doing ThatRussianSquatDance in front of videos of rap battles from throughout the Season. It's a pretty cool way to send off the show for a while. It's so amazing that the Announcer keeps quiet. Nobody asks [[CatchPhrase who won, or who's next]].
668[[/folder]]
669
670[[WMG:Season 3]]
671
672[[folder:Blackbeard vs. Al Capone]]
673* Blackbeard's demonstration of his phenomenal rhyming ability:
674--> Beef with me? Please! I'm the high seas Caesar,
675-->This cold heart's many degrees beneath the deep freezer,
676-->You're an obese greasy sleaze squeezing a diseased peter,
677-->that no skeezer would touch if she had fifty foot tweezers!
678--> Don't start a war with me! You're not hardcore,
679-->I'll pimp slap those face scars of yours port and starboard!
680** His putting down Capone's skill:
681-->You spent time in Alcatraz, I'm sure you were fine
682-->if you dropped the soap as little as you dropped dope rhymes!
683* Capone's first verse has a few gems:
684** His rebuttal towards Blackbeard's comments on his syphilis:
685-->I had syphilis, yeah. Well, you're a huge dick
686-->with a scurvy ridden ship filled with bilge rat pricks!
687--> I run a [[PunctuatedForEmphasis Intricate. Criminal. Syndicate]],
688--> So show respect,
689--> Or get that tongue ripped out of your neck and shoved right up your poop deck!
690** This:
691-->You ain't a tough guy; my kids dress up like you for Halloween!
692** His threat towards Blackbeard's crew:
693-->I'll use that fuse in your hat to light up you and your buddies,
694-->then burn your sailboat down and collect the insurance money!
695--> Then maybe they'll find your bloated body dead and washed up on a beach.
696-->This is Capone rapping, and I'm capping this captain; capiche?
697* The starting lines of Blackbeard's second verse:
698-->The Valentine's Massacre brought you condemnation,
699-->but I'm going to sink you faster than your income tax evasion
700-->when I toss you overboard like a mob abomination,
701-->so prepare to learn Davy Jones' locker combination!
702* Capone's attack on Blackbeard's filthy living habits also warrants a mention:
703-->I mean, that rat nest beard's trapped so many crumbs,
704-->this bum could get marooned and still eat lunch for a month!
705** This line:
706---> Raps so hard call me Al ''({{Beat}})'' Dente.
707** Capone's final line.
708-->Tell South Carolina Blackbeard got Capwned.
709* An excellent background event-- Capone's men hiring [[Videogame/AssassinsCreedIVBlackFlag Edward Kenway]] to kill Blackbeard's. Why? Because Blackbeard's men stole from Capone.
710[[/folder]]
711
712[[folder:Joan of Arc vs. Miley Cyrus]]
713* Simply the fact that Joan of Arc decides to attend a ''rap battle'' in ''chain mail and helm'' makes it very clear how serious she's taking this battle.
714* In her first verse, Joan ''lights up a city on fire'' by singing:
715-->"''Je suis la fille en feu''" ("[[BilingualBonus I am the]] [[Literature/TheHungerGames girl on fire]]"), call me Katniss Everdeen!
716* Joan comments disgustedly on Miley's waste of potential.
717-->You gotta die for something, Miley\
718Just picture your epitath\
719"Had the world watching -\
720Chose to show them all her flat ass."
721* Miley blasphemes in her second stanza, and Joan reacts with venom:
722-->Do not take the Lord's name in vain, you ratchet skank--\
723Your manager's riding you to the [[Music/BillyRayCyrus achy-breaky bank!]]
724** Immediately following that, she ''draws her rapier''.
725-->Keep your party in the [[PunctuatedForEmphasis U.S.A./Vi. Ve. La. France!]]
726* Miley doesn't get angry ''once'' throughout the battle, even brushing off one of Joan's verses with a ''compliment''...that doubles as a StealthPun for Joan getting burned at the stake. The fact that she could keep so cool when confronted with a soldier in full armor is awesome in itself.
727[[/folder]]
728
729[[folder:Bob Ross vs. Pablo Picasso]]
730* One for the makeup artists. The work they did to age Lloyd so he could appropriately play Picasso is extremely impressive.
731* "You're the PBS version of Music/{{Nickelback}}!"
732* Some lines from Bob's first verse. Check it out:
733--->You're a moody little genius, always so serious,
734--->I know, you must be on your ''Blue Period!''
735
736--->With the voice that soothes, so let's do this,
737--->I'll twist you up like you're a Rubik's Cubist.
738* Pablo beats back with this:
739--->Don't use that word,
740--->Like you know what it is!
741--->You painted ''thirty thousand'' pictures of ''bushes and sticks.''
742** Pablo using his overly long name in the rap, and it ''works'':
743--->My name is Pablo Diego José Francisco de Paula,
744--->Juan Nepomuceno María de los Remedios Cipriano,
745--->De la Santísima Trinidad,
746--->Ruiz y Picasso!
747--->[[PunctuatedForEmphasis Back. To. You.]] ''[[AerithAndBob Bob.]]''
748* Bob's final verse features these awesome closing lines:
749--->My technique will make your mistress weep,
750--->Put her to sleep, elbow drop her dreams, I go ''deep!''
751
752--->Don't believe in mistakes unless you step to me,
753--->Yo Pablo, ''you just got your happy little ass beat.''
754[[/folder]]
755
756[[folder:MuhammadAli vs. MichaelJordan]]
757* Getting accomplished comedians like Key and Peele to perform for your web series is one thing, but it really says something when the experience convinces them to come back and do another one.
758* Jordan immediately starts stomping:
759-->Why don't you dodge this battle like you did Vietnam?
760-->Cause you got as much chance of beating me as [=LeBron=]
761-->I'm a flying machine, like the world has never seen!
762-->You can fight one man? '''''[[OneManArmy I can drive through a whole team!]]'''''
763* Ali opens up with a doozy:
764-->Ooh, here comes Jordan, big tongue wobblin',
765-->Flyin' through the air like a big dumb goblin!
766-->You're the only Bull that's uglier than Rodman!
767-->Messin' with me is gamblin'; you got a problem!
768** And continues in his next verse with this:
769-->I saw you slappin' Reggie Miller, boy, what's wrong with you?
770-->You fight like the little girls who make your Nike shoes!
771-->UsefulNotes/McDonalds and underpants as corporate backers;
772-->You stay at the Ritz '''cause you sold out to crackers!''
773** "You need to bounce back to North Carolina kid, cause your rapping sucks [[TakeThat more than Space Jam did]]!
774* Jordan responds by stepping over to Ali's side and getting all up in his face while saying this:
775-->So Cassius wants to talk about cashing checks?
776-->I'll school you through your bug spray, ''off your Broadway play'', '''over the Japanese dude''' '''''sittin' on your face!'''''
777-->Hit nothing but net! You ain't seen nothing yet!
778-->Man, you needed a movement '''cause you're so full of shit!''
779-->I'm a better athlete ''and'' a better MC!
780-->Battle me two more times; ''watch me get a three-peat!''
781* According to the polls on the ERB Wiki, this is the most evenly-matched battle in the show's history, with the votes an almost-perfect 50-50 split. Ali has the edge, but not by very much.
782[[/folder]]
783
784[[folder:Ebenezer Scrooge vs Donald Trump assisted by J.P. Morgan, Kanye West and Death]]
785* Simply the idea of retelling the [[Creator/CharlesDickens Dickens]] classic, ''Literature/AChristmasCarol'', through ''rap battles'' is in itself awesome. Who saw that coming?
786** Not only that, but in a handful of seconds, each ghost pretty much sums up every key point that his novel counterpart makes to Scrooge. Scrooge's reaction/rebuttal to each ghost is also right from the book. It's not just a retelling, it's a very authentic one.
787* "[[GoodMorningCrono WAKE UP, SCROOGE!]]"
788* They actually censored the only curse in the rap; "I've got my own f***ing problems, call me 2Chainz!" That's right, a badass rap battle that you can actually ''play around your family.'' Now ''that's'' awesome.
789* The music is OK initially, but when Kanye shows up, it really shifts up another gear, switching to 6/8 and never looking back. It's also a musical ShoutOut to Black Skinhead from his album ''Yeezus'', one of WebVideo/EpicRapBattlesOfHistory's many ShownTheirWork moments.
790* Death, the Ghost of Christmas Yet To Come being SuddenlySpeaking unlike in the novel, and making a truly intimidating rap to Scrooge to the point that [[HeelFaceTurn he changes]].
791-->"BOO! You're gonna die, with no one to love you and no one to cry! Alone by yourself on the bed of your death, with the stench of regret on your last dying breath! 'Cause you've chosen the path of a selfish man with Tiny Tim's innocent blood on your hands! The penance you pay for the way you behave is written as plain as the name on this grave!"
792* JP Morgan gives a brilliant verse:
793--> Don't panic, Scrooge, but you're about to crash!
794-->I'm J.P.Morgan, the Ghost of Rich Dudes Past!
795--> Who's properly rockin' the ''TabletopGame/{{Monopoly}}'' mustache!
796--> Yo I own the railroad, ''I run these tracks!''
797--> You got dumped on a ''bench'' and now you're pissed at the world,
798--> You shoulda made like [[WesternAnimation/TheLittleMermaid1989 Sebastian]] and ''kissed de girl!''
799--> Because your greed is the curse that's gonna ''tear'' you apart!
800--> What good is your purse if you're poor in your heart?
801* [[AdaptationalBadass Scrooge rapping back to]] Donald Trump and J.P.Morgan.
802* Kanye West has an absolutely badass verse in and of itself, but he really finishes it off with possibly the best-used action in the series; he makes a "crushing" motion with his hands while the camera frames his upper body; then the camera cuts to a full-body shot, and he raises his hands as ''Ignorance and Want'' come out of nowhere and just ''stare at Scrooge''. No bodily motions like Bach, no vocal interruptions like Marty, they just ''stand there and stare''.
803* The fact that ''Donald Trump himself'' [[https://web.archive.org/web/20201106103034/https://twitter.com/realdonaldtrump/status/414073211689529344 tweeted about the video]] (albeit with confusion).
804[[/folder]]
805
806[[folder:Rick Grimes vs Walter White]]
807* Without stopping his rap, Rick perfectly headshots three Walkers before calmly sidestepping out of the way of another hobbling toward Walter. What makes this better is that Walter then waggles a baggie of Blue Sky, and a moment later, you see the Walker tweaked out.
808** "You ain't the danger to me, Walt, so knock all you want. I'll watch you get eaten on my fucking front lawn."
809* Walter is standing right here, in his tighty-Walter-Whities, and it doesn't break his flow ''at all.''
810* Behold, Walt's ''first line'':
811-->I don't know what you think I've done\
812but if we were to battle, (puts on the Heisenberg hat) '''[[BadassBoast I've already won]]'''. (Ask Gus!)
813** And the hat-flip he does in the background in the next verse.
814** Rick CrossesTheLineTwice with this line:
815--> "I'm gonna show this [[GeniusBonus lab rat]] how to be a real dad!" [[note]] Walter tried to test cures for his cancer on lab rats. [[/note]]
816[[/folder]]
817
818[[folder:Goku vs Superman]]
819* Superman opens up with easily one of the best intro bars throughout the entirety of battle raps history with not only how solidly it makes his stance over Goku, but uses the classic Superman introduction with an awesome twist:
820-->Who can stop this [[ProudWarriorRaceGuy constipated jock]]
821-->with the awful animation and the complicated plot?
822-->Who's got the rap bombs to drop on Japan?
823-->[[CatchPhrase This looks like a job for]] the OG: ('''''[[SayMyName Superman!]]''''')
824* Goku straight-up [[NoSell no-sells]] Superman's eye beams. That alone puts him in pretty elite company.
825* Before no-selling Superman's beams and going [[SuperMode Super Saiyan]], Goku opens up with some of the best screaming in the series.
826-->'''''HOW MANY TIMES ARE THEY GONNA REWRITE YOUR STORIES?!'''''
827-->'''''YOUR POWERS HAVE BEEN BORING SINCE THE NINTEEN [[PrecisionFStrike FUCKING]] FOURTIES!!!'''''
828* Superman, confident in his ability, flies off after he finishes his rap, leading Goku to chase after him. The subsequent AirJousting scene doesn't look like it'd be out of place in either of their comics.
829* Goku seamlessly throws in an unexpected reference to "Crank That (Soulja Boy)". And even if you don't like the song at all, the line is friggin' ''perfect''.
830* Goku's line
831-->When I see your movies all I do is watch the clock
832-->Cause there's nothing fun about a superhero scared of green rocks
833* Then, his second line.
834-->Don't lecture me about fights, you caped coward
835-->[[ComicBook/BatmanTheDarkKnightReturns You got your ass beat by a bat with no powers]]
836* Superman's line
837-->I'm killing it, you're Krillin it, I'm villainous to vegetables
838-->Who dance around in hammer pants that hide their tiny genitals
839* And his second line.
840-->Haha, your rapping is weaker than your fight scenes,
841-->Just one punch and over ''nine thousand screams''!
842* Goku's final line, which fans of the series consider to be one of the most savage endings of the entire series:
843--> There's only one way that battle's gonna end
844--> [[Creator/ChristopherReeve One more Superman who's never gonna walk again]]
845
846
847[[/folder]]
848
849[[folder:Stephen King vs. Edgar Allan Poe]]
850* The plethora of King titles casually and rhythmically dropped in his first verse.
851* King's first verse ends on a devastating note:
852-->Literature/MasqueOfTheRedDeath? Barely blood-curdling.
853-->[[Literature/ThePitAndThePendulum Pit and the Pendulum]]? Not even unnerving.
854-->Perving on your first cousin when she's ''thirteen years old''? Now '''that's''' disturbing!
855* Much like George Watsky's [[Creator/WilliamShakespeare previous]] [[Series/DoctorWho roles]], Edgar Allan Poe rips into Stephen King with an incredibly fast, rapid-fire second verse.
856** And much like Shakespeare, he delivers his first verse in a poetic meter used by his role -- in this case, trochaic octameter (eight syllables alternating stress, with the stressed syllable coming first).
857** Stephen King immediately follows by calling it ''boring''. It's made even better when you see him [[NonchalantDodge casually avoiding]] Poe's swarm of bats before laying into his school record.
858* Edgar Allan Poe's first words are from the first line of his poem, 'The Raven'. Stephen King's very last line not only incorporates the last word ('Nevermore!'), but he even managed to turn it into one scorcher of a diss!
859-->Fame? Money? Talent? Success? You'll always have less, never more!
860* The fact that [[https://twitter.com/StephenKing/status/473571946316443648 Stephen King himself has watched the battle.]] He ''[[GracefulLoser says Poe shut him down]].'' Poe's called The Horror Lord for a reason.
861** This means Poe gets the '''FIRST HISTORICALLY CONFIRMED WIN''' out of any Epic Rap Battle, and he'll probably be the only one.
862* One of Poe's lines was voted the strongest in series history: "Poe's poems pwn posers"
863[[/folder]]
864
865[[folder:Sir Isaac Newton vs. Bill Nye and Neil [=deGrasse=] Tyson]]
866* Getting Music/WeirdAlYankovic as Sir Isaac Newton.
867* Just when it looks like Nye's down, UsefulNotes/NeilDeGrasseTyson steps in and holds his own against Newton.
868* Like getting Weird Al, they got Chalie 2na to play Neil. Peter even said during the Behind the Scenes video that whenever he does a deep voice (and specifically mentions Darth Vader and Santa Claus) he's "trying to channel the spirit of Chali 2na".
869* Newton's first verse has some of the best lines ERB has ever seen.
870-->Of all the scientific minds in history,\
871They put [[Franchise/TheMuppets Beaker]] in a bow tie up against me?!\
872I'm a master, I discovered gravity\
873I drop rhymes like they're falling from an apple tree\
874You're no match for me, you've got a bach[elor's] degree\
875I got [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Newton_(unit) a unit of force]] named after me\
876You want to battle guy? That's a crazy notion!\
877When I start flowing I stay in motion!\
878FIRST LAW! Did you get that?\
879Or did it go too fast to detect?\
880Or maybe it'd be better if I added [[SayingSoundEffectsOutLoud a bleep or a bloop]]\
881Or another wacky sound effect?\
882I was born on Christmas, I'm God's gift,\
883I unlocked the stars [[Series/DancingWithTheStars that you're dancing with!]]\
884You waste time debating creationists,\
885While I create the science [[Series/BillNyeTheScienceGuy you explain to kids!]]
886** Nye gets a lesser moment by simply ''standing'' there. While most rappers would get upset or defiant of their opponent's opening lines, Bill just stands there calmly.
887* Nye's first two lines are rather weak. But then he gets better:
888-->I'm still in my prime, hitting my stride,
889-->What'd you do with the back half of your life?
890-->You freaked out, started counting coins for the bank and you sure didn't have no wife!
891** The very next lines Nye drops both play on Newton's scientific accomplishments compared with his social ones:
892-->You wrote the book on gravity, ''but you couldn't attract no body!''
893-->Your work on orbits was exemplary, ''but your circle of friends was shoddy!''
894** Also:
895-->Stick to drinking that mercury,
896-->Cause I hypothesize that you're about to get beat!
897* Newton strikes back with this absolute zinger that's so good, ''Nye is intimidated by it!''
898-->I accelerated the mind of mankind to a higher plane of understanding,
899-->And I can calculate the weight and the size and the shape of the shadow of the mind you're standing in!
900** Then he unleashing his motormouth of an equation completely stuns Bill Nye.
901-->And I will leave with a page from a book I wrote at half your age to rebut-
902-->The integral sec y dy from zero to one-sixth of pi is log to base e of the square root of three times the sixty-fourth power of what?!
903** But Neil [=DeGrasse=] Tyson doesn't just hold his own against Newton. He intimidates Newton and impresses him, while salvaging the battle in Nye's favor with a powerful retaliation, completing the equation that stumped Nye.
904-->Oh, by the way, the answer to your little calculation is [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Imaginary_unit i]]
905-->[[BadassBoast As in I put the swag back in science]]
906-->While Isaac Newton was lying and sticking daggers in Leibniz.
907-->And hiding up inside his attic on some Harry Potter business
908-->The Universe is infinite, but this battle is finished!
909** Not only does the video incorporate Tyson's infamous "Watch out, we got a badass over here" meme, but uses both the line and his body language from said meme to look and sound like an ''actual rap diss''. And it works!
910* Similar to Stephen King and the Mythbusters below, [[http://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/2arlx5/i_am_bill_nye_the_science_guy_and_ceo_of_the/ciy1q1s Bill Nye has seen the battle and stated that he loves it]].
911[[/folder]]
912
913[[folder: George Washington vs. William Wallace]]
914* Wallace skillfully turns two of Washington's lines against him. First, Washington mocks how he was hung, drawn, and quartered, to which Wallace replies with:
915-->I was emasculated, eviscerated,
916-->I had my head chopped off and they ''put it on a pike,''
917-->'''and I still find time to bust a Gaelic rhyme'''
918-->'''''and rip your Yankee Doodle arse on the mic!'''''
919*** And of course the next line:
920-->I'll knock your face off your moolah
921-->''Alba gu bràth!'' '''(Gu bràth!)'''
922-->''Hoo-ra!'' '''(Hoo-ra!)'''
923** Wallace ripping into Washington's strategic abilities:
924--> "Founding father but no children.
925--> Crossed the Delaware but ''your soldiers can't swim!''
926--> That's Washington! Such a ''shite tactician!''
927--> The fucking ''British Army'' didn't even ''want him!''"
928** Later, Washington boasts about his clothes, which leads to Wallace rapping this:
929-->I don't give a ''shite'' 'bout your fancy clothes!
930-->[[WhatTheHellHero You whipped all those out of slave black folks!]]
931* "See there's a difference between you and me, Willy: I fought till I was actually ''[[Film/FreeWilly free]]'', [[Film/FreeWilly Willy]]!"
932* After Washington mentions that Scotland's famous for "golf and haggis", Wallace breaks out with:
933-->Don't tee off with ''me'', laddy! If you ''held my balls'', you couldn't be my caddy!
934* "You're the father of your country, but I'm your ''daddy!''"
935[[/folder]]
936
937[[folder: Artists vs. Turtles]]
938* There are a total of ''eight'' rappers in this video. That's the most in any ERB so far, ''easy''. Also, instead of appearing one at a time as in previous battles, they all pile on at once and rap together, with all of them being called by the announcer at the start.
939-->"Donatello, Michelangelo, Leonardo, Raphael, VS; ''Leonardo, Michelangelo, Donatello, and RAPHAEL!!'' '''BEGIN.''' "
940* The Turtles' first verse:
941-->'''Leo''': The wisdom of our master,
942-->'''Turtles''': Splinter,
943-->'''Donnie''': Taught us not to rush to violence.
944-->'''Raph''': But our master,
945-->'''Turtles''': Master Splinter.
946-->'''Mikey''': AIN'T HERE DUDE!
947* The last lines of the Artists' first verse:
948-->'''L & D''': We drop science!
949-->'''M & R''': We got the mathematics!
950-->'''All''': ''The Architects of Rebirth are'' '''''rap addicts'''''!
951-->'''All''': ''You beat the Foot, but it won't go well''
952-->'''Donatello''': when you catch an Italian
953-->'''All''': '''''BOOT TO THE HALF-SHELL!'''''
954** It gets better when one recalls the usage of the term "Kick some shell" as a kid-friendly euphemism for "Kick some ass". So the fathers of the Renaissance are basically calling the Turtles half-assed. As if that weren't enough, they pull some synchronized dance moves too.
955* Bringing anthropomorphic characters to life was deemed impractical or impossible, with the Easter Bunny and the Cat in the Hat being treated more as EarlyInstallmentWeirdness. However, the ERB team pulled it off! The turtle costumes are just as good as the ones Creator/JimHenson designed - complete with moving lips - and definite props go to Epic Lloyd and Xin Wuku for basically acting as Muppet suit performers, a notoriously difficult job. The costumes are backed up by some genuine ninjutsu moves courtesy of Xin, and awesome lyrics!
956* Artist!Michelangelo's Verse:
957-->Ohhhh, Michelangelo and I'm giant!
958-->I made David but I'll slay you like Goliath!
959-->I'm a rap God and you can't quite touch me,
960-->This battle's your Last Judgement, trust me!
961** It's an incredibly clever verse as well as being just awesome. Even the seemingly generic third line is a reference to his famous painting of God creating Adam (with their fingers not quite touching).
962* "Deemed dope by the Pope, and I boned 'til I croaked!" Has there ever been a more epic BadassBoast? Real rappers ''wish'' they could make a claim like that!
963* Let's not forget this epic breakdown by Artist!Donatello:
964-->'''Donatello''': Hard shell, but you're gross in the middle,
965--> Wouldn't want to touch you with a six foot chisel!
966--> Born in goop, raised in poop, I slice through a group,
967--> Of ninjas like fruit, oops!
968[[/folder]]
969
970[[WMG:Season 4]]
971
972[[folder: Season 4 Premiere]]
973* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-huwiIHUDSc&list=UUMu5gPmKp5av0QCAajKTMhw The Teaser Trailer]] starts off looking like it's going to be another Darth Vader vs. Adolf Hitler match, then it's revealed Hitler is a Ghost... Right before he gets sucked into a [[Franchise/{{Ghostbusters}} Ghost Trap...]]
974-->'''Jamie Hyneman''': Fascinating...
975-->'''Adam Savage''': This is gonna be great!
976** It's a double CMOA since combined with the third "Hitler vs. Vader" rap battle, this helped ''finally'' close the door on that saga.
977[[/folder]]
978
979[[folder: Ghostbusters vs. MythBusters vs. The Stay Puft Marshmallow Man]]
980* The backbeat deserves a note here- it's electronic sounding, fitting for two ScienceHero franchises.
981* The Mythbusters spend most of their first verse tearing down the scientific authority of the Ghostbusters. Their most scathing criticism is this:
982-->'''Adam & Jamie:''' You built a laser grid with no safety switch,
983-->'''A&J:''' and [[JerkassHasAPoint Walter Peck was right:]] That's some ''shady'' shit!
984** As they point this out, it splits to show the Ghostbusters; [[FunnyBackgroundEvent Egon shrugs, conceding the point]].
985* The Mythbusters [[StuffBlowingUp blasting]] the Ghostbusters, though it doesn't do much damage- it's still pretty impressive that they showed up to this rap battle with a dynamite plunger and explosives!
986** As stated on the main page, [[FridgeBrilliance Adam's contract demands a minimum of one explosion per episode]]. [[LoopholeAbuse This is an episode]]; hence, explosion.
987* The Ghostbusters combine their TeamPowerWalk from the climax of the first movie with a diss of a Mythbusters staple.
988-->'''Peter:''' Get your stick,
989-->'''Egon, Ray, Winston:''' Hold'em!;
990-->'''Peter:''' heat em up,
991-->'''E,R,W:''' Smokin'!
992-->'''All:''' High speed shows your ass get beat in slow motion!
993* Their shared verse to finish off, ending with another shout out to the first movie:
994-->'''Winston:''' It's a rap test, dummy!
995-->'''Egon:''' And you're both gettin' crashed!
996-->'''All:''' We came, we saw, we ''kicked your ass''!
997* The synchronized dancing between Adam and Jamie; aside from the changing camera angles and zooms, it's one consistent routine, timed perfectly with one another - and to prove they aren't being filmed separately and lined up later, they're in direct contact with one another for some of it (BackToBackBadasses, a coordinated fistbumping routine, their laser grid pattern with their arms), meaning they're definitely being recorded beside each other. It may just look goofy and odd, but get one of your friends and see how tough it is to choreograph and pull off a routine like that without falling out of line.
998* The surprise arrival of the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man. When you want to [[DoingInTheScientist do in the scientist]], there's no better way than a gigantic marshmallow ghost.
999* Much like Stephen King above, Adam and Jamie saw it and found it awesome. While Jamie didn't make a response of his own, he did retweet Adam's.
1000-->''[[https://www.facebook.com/JamieandAdam/posts/602891053149556 OMG. This is the best thing ever.]]
1001** The Build Team (sans Tory, as far as we know) also saw it. Grant naturally geeked out over them being in an ERB, while Kari noted that they got her look down perfectly.
1002* Who would have thought the high record for most rapping participants set by ''Artists vs. Turtles'' at eight would be broken by the ''very next episode'', featuring ''ten'' rappers? [[note]] ''Eleven'' if you include Janine's cameo! [[/note]]
1003* The sheer number of references they managed to get into the rap is practically a CMOA in its own right.
1004[[/folder]]
1005
1006[[folder: Romeo and Juliet vs Bonnie and Clyde]]
1007* Juliet gets shot by Bonnie and thinks she's about to perish, but instead of just lamenting her death, she also takes an opportunity to snipe at her killer:
1008-->'''Juliet:''' Oh, I am killed! What irony is this?
1009-->'''Juliet:''' The lead role shot down by ''a failed actress!''
1010** And then she pops up, happy and relieved that the bullet just grazed her with no signs of pain. Lethal or not, that wound has to smart.
1011* The fact that this is clearly a battle between two different {{BattleCouple}}s, one the epitome of StarCrossedLovers, and the other being the most notorious OutlawCouple in modern history. And both easily go toe-to-toe with each other, matching wits and boasts with ease, although the fact they're both DoomedByCanon on both sides provides some serious MoodWhiplash.
1012** Of special note is Clyde, who lugs around a ''[[MoreDakka Browning Automatic Rifle!!]]''
1013--> '''Clyde:''' "(To Bonnie) [[LeaveHimToMe I'll handle this darlin']], [[TriggerHappy I'm known to fire off some]] ''[=BARs=]'', [[BadassBoast cause if these lovers cross me]], ''[[CirclingBirdies they're going to end up seeing STARS!!]]''"
1014* Bonnie and Clyde get a pretty good flow to round off their first verse:
1015--> '''Clyde:''' 'Cause there's gonna be a tragedy!\
1016'''Bonnie:''' Make you ache like your balls on the balcony!\
1017'''Clyde:''' Barrow Gang put their money where their mouth is,\
1018'''Both:''' Spit sick like a plague '''on both your houses!'''
1019* Let's just say there's a reason why Juliet earned herself a lot of fans:
1020--> And you there, wench with the neck of a chicken,\
1021You'll get an ass-ripping worse than your boyfriend's in prison!\
1022You're not a true romance, you're just a conjugal visit!\
1023Oh, but that's not even your real husband, now is it?
1024[[/folder]]
1025
1026
1027[[folder: Zeus vs Thor]]
1028* How about the fact that the entire rap battle is BuiltWithLego?
1029* Thor strikes Zeus down to Hades. Zeus retorts with this:
1030-->You think the Underworld scares the ruler of the skies?
1031-->You're joking! Loki must have written your lines!
1032-->''By the time I've finished ripping you with wits and rhymes,''
1033-->''You'll need a lighter for your ship,'' ''''' 'cause a Viking just died!'''''
1034** Oh it gets better. Thor said he'll send Zeus ''deeper'' than Hades. The place beneath the underworld known as Hades or Erebus? ''Tartarus'', where Zeus chucked his father's remains. Yet Zeus only gets as far as Hades (as evidenced by him meeting Cerberus). Which means Zeus must have broken his fall somehow.
1035* Zeus's entire first verse has some of the most badass raps in ERB history:
1036-->[[WhoDares How DARE you challenge my immortal throne?]]
1037-->I'm the [[TopGod father of the gods,]] [[NotNowKiddo put your daddy on the phone!]]
1038-->Maybe Odin could beg me for a truce, 'cause when Zeus lets loose,
1039-->I'll put your crossdressing neck in noose!
1040-->I'm like Medusa, stone a motherfucker if he looks at me wrong!
1041-->I'm a bull getting bitches with my swan schlong!
1042-->I'm on point like Poseidon's trident,
1043-->Rhymes colder than the frosty balls of your giants!
1044* "MC Hammer just got struck twice by Grease Lightning!" So many references, great flow...what a great line.
1045** Also the fact Zeus just knocked Thor, another thunder god, out of ''Asgard'' with a lightning blast.
1046* Thor starting off his first verse by effortlessly smacking a Frost Giant off the Bifrost Bridge. And what is his first line? ''"Allow Thor to retort, you '''shapeshifting rapist'''!"''
1047* Thor's HurricaneOfPuns in the first verse is simply outstanding:
1048-->Cause I don't get nice, I get '''Norse'''!
1049-->''Valhalla-atcha'' boy and we'll ''flyte'' it out
1050-->But keep your ''Asgard up'', I ''Ragnarok'' the house!
1051* These lines had a sweet sounding flow to them
1052-->You tongue-kiss your sister, that's grosser than a Gorgon
1053-->I'm the [[Creator/ChrisHemsworth thunder down under]] [[Film/{{Thor}} nailing Natalie Portman!]]
1054-->How could anyone worship someone as abusive as Zeus is
1055-->You're ruthless to humans
1056-->Your crew is like the clash of the douches
1057-->Ruling over the Greeks, a people weak and frightened
1058-->I'd spit in your face, ''[[TooKinkyToTorture but you'd probably like it!]]''
1059* His final verse is a doozy:
1060-->Your [[GloryDays glory days]] are over!
1061-->The Oracle shoulda told ya!
1062-->I'l kick your winkly dick back in yout toga like ''Opa''!
1063-->Here, take these drachma for your eyes
1064-->When you get to River Styx tell your three-headed bitch I said hi (''Cerberus emerges behind Zeus on cue, scaring Zeus shitless'')!
1065* The simple fact that they managed to make a [[SophisticatedAsHell clever, well researched 'suck my dick' joke.]]
1066-->Now make like your daddy and swallow my babies!
1067** Doubled with the sheer balls necessary to bring up Zeus' father and the story of him eating his children to ''Zeus' own face''.
1068* When you get right down to it, this battle takes everything that makes ERB great - [[ShownTheirWork well-researched and clever references to the figures being portrayed]], [[HurricaneOfPuns mind-blowing puns]], and [[SugarWiki/AwesomeMusic genuinely well-crafted rap lyrics]], and turns them all up a notch, producing what might be the best song in the series' history. [[SugarWiki/MomentOfAwesome In LEGO]].
1069* "I'm Alpha Dog Dominant you can't beat me/I will drop you like Greece's GDP!"
1070** Let us just say there is a reason why the above two lines are often brought up in comments as points where Thor won by default. And yet, with Zeus always fighting back with good points, they managed to make it sound less onesided.
1071[[/folder]]
1072
1073
1074[[folder: Jack the Ripper vs Hannibal Lecter]]
1075* The entirety of Jack the Ripper's second verse, where he insults Hannibal multiple times.
1076-->I'm real! You'll find me making vacancies at brothels!
1077-->While you only exist inside the pages of a novel!
1078-->You were kept for ages in a hovel, contained within a cage behind a locked door while I never got caught!
1079-->So who's the superior serial killer, Doctor Lecter?
1080-->I'm still wanted, you're forgotten, people these days are watching Series/{{Dexter}}!
1081* Jack's first verse wasn't that bad either.
1082-->I'm a human trigger warning, through the light until the morning\
1083When the light shines on my crimes, you find it sick appalling!\
1084An infamous notorious delinquent\
1085There's no gorier thing than\
1086Living in Victorian England\
1087This is horrorcore, beware if you're a common whore\
1088or at late night you may find me knocking on your door!\
1089Not keen to leave until I'm knee-deep in blood an gore\
1090You're grieving family on their knees weeping, scrubbing floors\
1091The police need a lead; they don't know what they're looking for\
1092My raps are like the way I eat my meat--bloody raw!
1093** And during all of this, it occasionally flips to terrifyingly brief glimpses of Hannibal being released from his restraints.
1094* While Jack the Ripper did good, Hannibal had lines like this.
1095-->You stabbed women when they wouldn't give you attention, you're like a Penny ''Dreadful'' version of O.J. Simpson!
1096** And following that:
1097-->But these days, your nickname is all that's even known, and you didn't even come up with that shit on your own!
1098** Accusing Jack of struggling for relevancy:
1099--> No, no Jack. You were doing fine, before your hamfisted attempt at a ''terrorist'' line.
1100** His final, ripping verse certainly deserves mention, especially the BadassBoast done in almost rapid-fire style:
1101-->I'm the ''bon vivant'' of violence\
1102A licensed psychiatrist\
1103Who dines on highest society\
1104To the sounds of violins!
1105** Then gets the last laugh:
1106-->You prey on a prostitute and play with her body\
1107I don't mind that you're naughty Jack, I hate that you're ''sloppy!''\
1108Barney, take me back to solitary confinement\
1109'cause this dirty little lamb has just been ''silenced''.
1110* After each battler gives their first verse, it seems evenly matched. But then in his second verse Jack comes out swinging, utterly destroying Hannibal... only for Hannibal to remain cool and composed and deconstruct all of Jack's points. Kudos to him for staying so calm.
1111** Generally, the way all of Hannibal's raps are all a BreakingSpeech to Jack, tearing down everything Jack brings to the table.
1112* Being able to come up with a BoastfulRap for and against someone like Jack the Ripper about whom almost nothing is known qualifies as one both for Hannibal Lecter in-universe and the ERB crew out of universe.
1113** Especially noteworthy since Jack's ItsAllAboutMe attitude causes him to go through his entire first verse without ''once'' mentioning his opponent, as if to deliberately escalate this challenge.
1114-->'''Hannibal''': Jack...you're a classic megalomaniac\
1115You haven't mentioned me ''once'' in your entire battle rap\
1116Pity your verse wasn't worth the trip in the jacket\
1117Quit jacking off on the track and put the lotion in the basket!
1118[[/folder]]
1119
1120[[folder:Oprah Winfrey vs Ellen [=DeGeneres=]]]
1121* One of the most [[BadassBoast Badass Boasts]] in ERB:
1122-->'''Oprah:''' Check the Fortune 500, I'm a media wonder!
1123-->'''Oprah:''' The Dalai Lama and Obama memorized my cell number!
1124* Only five episodes into Season 4 and there have already been five female rappers, showing an effort to avert the previous seasons' [[TheSmurfettePrinciple Smurfette Principle]] and OnceASeason DesignatedGirlFight.
1125[[/folder]]
1126
1127[[folder:Steven Spielberg vs. Alfred Hitchcock vs. Quentin Tarantino vs. Stanley Kubrick vs. Michael Bay]]
1128* The fact all verses's beats mimic the director's distinctive soundtracks: Spielberg's has a grand, John Williams-like orchestra feel, Hitchcock's has the ScareChord and a tense atmosphere, Tarantino's has a jazzy, pulpy tone, Kubrick's has the operatic, bombastic feel of 2001: A Space Odyssey while Michael Bay brings a Pop, over-the-top Hip-Hop like one.
1129* Spielberg begins with a movie-esque pitch of awesome:
1130-->'''Spielberg''': Picture a child sitting next to a projector, learning from your films to become a much better director...[[FromNobodyToNightmare Now picture a]] [[FictionFiveHundred 3 billion dollar dream machine]] [[SurpassedTheTeacher who can block bust all over your crop duster scene]]!
1131* Hithcock doesn't fall behind and gets one of the most smoothly delivered verses of the battle:
1132-->'''Hitchcock''': I'm the best mamma-jamma ever stood behind the camera, damage panderers, haunt you like the last ''[[Film/IndianaJonesAndTheKingdomOfTheCrystalSkull Indiana]]''!
1133* Tarantino has a pretty good BadassBoast at the end of his verse:
1134-->'''Tarantino''': The scripts that I write ain't the -- cleanest! ([[PrecisionFStrike Fuck]]!) -- but when I grip mics I'm the -- meanest! (Dick!) -- Quentin Tarantino is a -- Genius! -- A bad motherfucker, from the wallet to the penis!
1135* Stanley Kubrick managing to ''rhyme with [[LeastRhymableWord "purple"]].''
1136* Just the fact Michael Bay enters the rap ''[[DynamicEntry jumping out of a helicopter mid-air]]'' and doing a ThreePointLanding mid-verse. Then he [[NoSell No Sells]] all the hatred launched against him:
1137-->'''Michael Bay''': [[CriticalDissonance I give the people what they love, while the critics say I'm evil!]] [[CriticProof Got no time to read reviews]], [[CashCowFranchise while I'm working on the sequel!]] Got a gift from above, and the eyes of a eagle! (''[[StuffBlowingUp Eagle explodes behind him]]'') When it comes to [[StuffBlowingUp blowing up]], [[BadassBoast no director is my equal!]] (''[[NukeEm Atomic explosion]] as he [[FlippingTheBird flips the double bird towards the other rappers]]'')
1138** Look closely at the other directors when Bay does the ThreePointLanding. Everyone flinches but Hitchcock is perfectly unfazed.
1139* Give props to ERB for adding in a scare chord styled violin shriek for Hitchcock's verse.
1140* Props to the makeup department; it took '''9 hours''' to turn Lloyd into Hitchcock, and the result is amazing.
1141* Not only does Spielberg's section feature another rapid-fire use of both contenders' work, but it goes the extra mile in bringing up some pretty obscure ones: ''Lifeboat'' and ''Murder'' for Hitchcock, and ''Duel'' and ''Always'' for Spielberg.
1142* It's a bit hard to spot, but Hitchcock actually nods in agreement that Kubrick is the only film director who should be called a "genius."
1143* Tarantino gives this nasty diss to Spielberg:
1144-->'''Tarantino''': Due to ''Film/{{War of the Worlds|2005}}'', a failure is what I label you.
1145-->'''Tarantino''': It looked like some sell-out bullshit [[TakeThat Michael Bay]] would do!
1146-->[[FunnyBackgroundEvent (Spielberg prepares to defend, then shrugs and nods)]]
1147[[/folder]]
1148
1149[[folder:Lewis & Clark vs. Bill & Ted]]
1150* Lewis & Clark: "You're worthless, your future selves should have told you that! Now go back in time and give Doctor Who his phone booth back!"
1151** The beginning of their second verse:
1152-->'''Clark''': Did you hear that Meriwether?\
1153'''Lewis''': I think they mean to brawl!\
1154'''Clark''': I'll take [[Creator/KeanuReeves Neo]].\
1155'''Lewis''': I'll take the one that ''no one knows at all!''
1156* Bill and Ted have some great lines too.
1157-->'''Bill & Ted''': And if those native dudes knew what white men were going to do, they would've stopped you in Dakota. They should totally [[{{Pun}} Sioux]]!
1158** "You rode a river one direction! We travel four dimensions,\ rescue bodacious babes and get back for detention!"
1159*** It's worth noting that during this scene, they get into the phone booth and leave the battle. Just as they leave, their future selves, covered in lipstick, appear and finish the line.
1160* Rufus is pretty awesome here for someone who only gets one line. At the end of Lewis & Clark's second verse, Bill & Ted realize they're losing and wonder what they're gonna do. The answer comes from a figure dropping in behind them: "Be excellent!" "Rufus!"
1161* The only reason Sacagawea doesn't get any lines is she's too busy being awesome in the background.
1162** Doing all the paddling for three people in a canoe.
1163** Catching a ''much'' bigger fish.
1164** While Lewis and Clark are making their second verse she straight-up ''murders a bear.'' It starts with a flying tackle and ends with a knife!
1165* Similar to Sacagawea, the ContinuityCavalcade going on behind Bill and Ted during their first verse: nearly every historical figure from ''Excellent Adventure'' has already appeared on ERB, and they all come back: Napoleon, Beethoven, Joan of Arc, Genghis Khan, and Lincoln, plus the mustached cowboy from Clint Eastwood's verses standing in for Billy the Kid and a new cameo from Socrates, leaving Freud as the only member of the gang to be left out (though ironically, he himself would be featured in his own battle later on, thus completing the group).
1166* Lewis and Clark elevate the rap battle to a whole new level by mind-gaming Bill and Ted, resulting in the latter pair wasting several lines either [[LetsYouAndHimFight arguing with each other]] or [[HeroicBSOD doubting themselves]].
1167* Part of Bill and Ted's second verse is accompanied by an ''epic'' guitar solo added onto the beat. It's pretty much an ERB equivalent of ThemeMusicPowerUp and it makes for some awesome sound to back a pretty solid ending verse.
1168[[/folder]]
1169
1170[[folder:Harry Houdini vs. David Copperfield]]
1171* With some of the best visuals in any rap battle to date, this one involves Houdini being locked in a crate and escaping from a pair of handcuffs, appearing behind a curtain in the place of his assistant, disappearing behind a burning dollar bill, and escaping from a straitjacket while a camera films it from below.
1172* Copperfield floats throughout Houdini's second verse.
1173* Houdini's opening lines have an extremely fun and cutting dynamic.
1174-->"You've never seen a body quite the same as that of Houdini!
1175-->Slippery like linguine, sneaking out of teeny-weeny
1176-->little spaces small enough to fit your ''talent,'' David!
1177-->You're not a ''challenge,'' David!
1178-->Your biggest endowment's your bank account balances, ''baby!''"
1179* Criss Angel tries to become the third rapper but Houdini tells him to go away, thus becoming the first person to prevent a third rapper's appearance.
1180--> Somebody say angel?
1181--> [[BluntNo No.]]
1182* Copperfield even uses it to work an insult at both.
1183--> See what they'd be watching if it wasn't for me? I remind the world that magic is supposed to make you happy!
1184* How does Copperfield end his second verse and the rap entirely? Casually reference ''[[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harry_Houdini#Death how Houdini died]]''.
1185-->I'll summon up a little Halloween brunch / deep fried sucker with [[StealthPun a side of]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QJ9lNRAjTQM punch]].
1186* [[https://twitter.com/D_Copperfield/status/608021111473872898 Copperfield himself saw the rap battle and absolutely got a kick out of it.]]
1187** We have '''ANOTHER HISTORICALLY CONFIRMED WIN!''' Like Stephen King before him, Copperfield is a GracefulLoser and admits that "[his] rap skills are no match for Houdini".
1188** [[https://twitter.com/CrissAngel/status/608047964964155393 Even Criss Angel himself got a chuckle out of it!]]
1189[[/folder]]
1190
1191[[folder:Robocop vs. The Terminator]]
1192* They got a cameo right at the end from Creator/ArnoldSchwarzenegger, in full Terminator costume!
1193* The closing line of Robocop's first verse::
1194-->'''Robocop''': I'm Robocop and I got the flow to beat roided out C-3PO, I got the mic control like alt delete... [[{{Catchphrase}} Your move, creep]]!
1195* The Terminator gets a similar beatdown
1196-->'''T-800''': Based on [[AwesomenessByAnalysis my detailed analysis]] of the lyrical structure of battle raps, it's time for your next shit verse and then... [[{{Catchphrase}} I'll be back]]!.
1197** And from earlier in that verse
1198--> '''T-800''': My rapping attack is a massive dispatch of [[WalkingArmory bazookas and gats and grenades!]] That rapidly bashes your brains and dismantles that puny pea-shooter that fits in your leg!
1199* Then there's Robocop's last line:
1200-->'''Robocop''' (''[[ImprobableAimingSkills while shooting out a grenade of the air]]''): Nice try, but I'm too quick on the draw. What can go wrong for you will, creep, Murphy's Law!
1201* As well as T-800's closing verse:
1202-->'''T-800''': I blow more steam through machines than a Barista! It's judgment day, baby, hasta la vista!
1203** Which is punctuated by the appearance of '''2''' ED-209s on the Terminator's side... ''to attack Murphy''.
1204* Robocop shoots a ''grenade'' out of the air. A GRENADE.
1205* The Robocop costume Peter wears for the battle is a treat. It is a near exact replica of the original from the movie and Peter is able to dance in it and project the appropriate body language.
1206* Like the above: The endoskeleton hand The Terminator lifts up? ''That is the exact same prop used in Film/Terminator2JudgmentDay''.
1207[[/folder]]
1208
1209[[folder:Philosophers East vs West]]
1210* Nietzsche makes spelling his own name awesome:
1211-->'''Nietzsche''': ''I'm N-I-E-T-Z-S-C-H-E,''\
1212'''and I'll end any motherfucker''' '''''like my name in a spelling bee!'''''
1213** Before this, his line about how they should "call me {{Ubermensch}} 'cause [[PunnyName I'm so driven]]!"
1214* Sun Tzu gets his own awesome name verse:
1215-->'''Sun Tzu''': ''[[ThisIsForEmphasisBitch Bitch]], I wrote'' ''Literature/{{The Art of War|SunTzu}}''\
1216''So you'd better get your guns out''\
1217''These white boys getting burned, cause guess what''\
1218''Now the [[StealthPun sun's]] out''
1219* And then Lao Tzu breaks out into some sick beatboxing while while Confucius drops a killer rapid-fire verse. Bonus points for turning [[AsianSpeekeeEngrish a traditionally racist joke]] into an unambiguous put-down of white supremacy at the end.
1220--> Let me be ''Literature/{{Candide}}'' with you, Voltaire,\
1221French drip with the egg noodle hair,\
1222your ego's just so distracting.\
1223Free speech doesn't mean just keep yapping!\
1224And ''[[Creator/FriedrichNietzsche you]]'' killed God, so I gotta ask:\
1225Did he die of shame when he made your mustache?\
1226You tried to plant a new German psyche,\
1227but you [[TheUnfettered just grew hate]]: Me no [[ThoseWackyNazis Third Reichy]]!
1228** What really makes this impressive is that cuts to Voltaire and Nietzsche show they're taking Confucius's criticisms to heart...[[Funny/EpicRapBattlesOfHistory albeit because of the stuff he said about their hair.]]
1229* Sun Tzu and Confucius take the mind games in ''Lewis and Clark vs. Bill and Ted'' and kick them up several notches, completely collapsing the team dynamic of the Western Philosophers by [[BerserkButton referring to Nietzsche and Voltaire as Socrates's students]]. Sun Tzu does the same thing to his own team in the heat of the moment, but it's easily the most impressive act of lyrical sabotage in the rap battles so far.
1230** Made doubly awesome when one considers that Sun Tzu is the only one out of the six rappers who wasn't a brilliant ''philosopher'', instead being a [[CulturedWarrior brilliant]] ''[[CulturedWarrior strategist]]''.
1231* Socrates is so highly respected that ''nobody'' directly attacks him except for one line by Nietzsche, who was known to be contemptuous of Socratic thought. Even Confucius's barb at him wasn't really directed at him but at setting Nietzsche off.
1232-->'''Socrates''': Plebe [[ThisIsForEmphasisBitch bitch?!]] I'm toxic like a hemlock sip! Hang a sandal on the door cause you can [[PunctuatedForEmphasis suck! Soc's! Dick!]]
1233* Voltaire holds his own after Socrates criticizes him with a variation on a theme.
1234-->'''Voltaire''': Let me be frank, don't start beef with ''the'' Franc, who hangs with [[Creator/BenjaminFranklin B. Franks]] [[TheCasanova giving ladies beef franks]]!
1235* Lao Tzu drops one short but powerful line when Sun Tzu begins rapping against him, while making a subtle reference to his own teachings about following the Way. His forceful delivery of the second part sells it:
1236-->'''Lao Tzu''': Oh, you don't wanna stand in the path of Lao Tzu today! I'll make you move, ''bitch'', '''''get out the way!'''''
1237* ''The beat itself'' is probably the best one in the history of the franchise, especially when the yells of "Yeah" stop and the music gets loud and explosive.
1238[[/folder]]
1239
1240[[folder:Shaka Zulu vs Julius Caesar]]
1241* The visual effects and research put into this battle are especially praiseworthy, particularly in getting the Zulu's famous fighting formation done accurately.
1242* Shaka spends most of his verses threatening Caesar, and he's very good at it.
1243-->When I go hand-to-hand with you, ''I go hammer!''\
1244Knock off his dome, ''wrap it up in his own banner!''\
1245Send it back to Rome with a message from the Zulu:\
1246if you battle (Shaka!), this what happen ''(to you!)''\
1247If you cross that Equator, you'll head '''straight into a massacre,'''\
1248'''and get fucked by more than just ''Cleopatra'' in Africa!'''\
1249[...]\
1250''Watcha gonna do with ya Roman swords''\
1251when the lines of your legions get gored by the horns\
1252of the ''(Zulu!) warriors! Trained on thorns!''\
1253''To dismember any emperor's '''pasty white hordes'''''!
1254* However, Caesar is not so easily intimidated.
1255-->'''Caesar''': You talk a lot of shit for a man wearing a diaper.\
1256I heard you had poison spit: where was it in this cypher?\
1257'Cause all I hear is threats from ''a brute with no discipline,''\
1258and I'm ruling over you like a '''boot full of my citizens!'''\
1259You should take your cow-skin shield and hide under it.\
1260You're fucking the most triumphant third of the Triumvirate!\
1261I'm first of the [[UsefulNotes/TheRomanEmpire Empire]] and last of the [[UsefulNotes/TheRomanRepublic Republicans!]]\
1262[...]\
1263Ask my kidnappers if I'm just a shit talker\
1264Doc J Dunk on ya like Boom [[{{Pun}} Shaka]] Laka!\
1265So don't go rattling your sticks at me!\
1266If I wanted to [[Creator/WilliamShakespeare shake]] [[{{Pun}} spears]], I'd waggle my [[Theatre/JuliusCaesar biography.]]\
1267[...]\
1268Ooh, can I be a hyena? '''Cause I'm going to laugh.''\
1269I'll pave roads with the bones of your ''goat-herding ass!''\
1270First, my front lines will drop back and spank you in the chest,\
1271Then I'll decimate your horns: ''you can't outflank the best!''\
1272''Let your reserves come at me: my ballista's cocked and '''(ready!)'''''\
1273''When I take '''(aim!)''' I always keep my whole crew '''(steady!)'''''\
1274Because [[NotWorthKilling there's no use in murdering you and your heathen.]]\
1275You can grow my wheat for me after you're beaten!
1276* The "Epic Rap Battle of History" close credit titles are shown in the classic formations for both The Romans (vanguard and legion) and The Zulus (the chest, horns and the reserves).
1277[[/folder]]
1278
1279[[folder: Jim Henson vs Stan Lee vs. Disney]]
1280* Jim Henson goes for the throat with his first verse.
1281-->'''Jim:''' And I'm clenching all your strings like you're a puppet in suspension!\
1282Call your superhero friends in...\
1283''Kermit:'' Yeah, '''cause you're gonna need Avengin'!'''\
1284'''Jim:''' Let me mention: I'm impressed by all the vision that it took\
1285for you to sign your name\
1286''Kermit:'' on all of ''Jack Kirby's comic books!''
1287* In response, Stan Lee doesn't spare any venom on his second.
1288--> '''Lee:''' ''Oh,'' you taught children to... count and spell~!\
1289''Then you taught your own kids how to drop your wife harder than you flopped on SNL!''
1290* The fact that Stan Lee and Jim Henson became friends during their rap battle. Stan's second verse is about apologizing for going too far and how much he respects Jim. Jim, in turn, spends his verse accepting the apology and saying that Stan has left a great legacy to the world. Also counts as a [[SugarWiki/HeartwarmingMoments Heartwarming moment.]]
1291* Disturbing as he is, Disney's ability to boast about his power is unquestionable.
1292--> '''Chorus:''' M-I-C...
1293--> '''Disney: I ROCK THE MIC PROPERLY!'''
1294-->'''Chorus:''' K-E-Y!
1295--> '''Disney: TURNING PROFITS, ''I'VE GOT THE KEY!'''''\
1296''I'M'' THE JUGGERNAUT OF STACKING KNOTS ''UNSTOPPABLY!'''''\
1297THE ''DISNEY LAND LORD'' OF YOUR ''INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY!'''''\
1298[...]\
1299I'M POWERFUL ENOUGH TO MAKE A [[WesternAnimation/MickeyMouse MOUSE]] ''GIGANTIC!'''''\
1300WITH ONLY THREE CIRCLES, ''I DOMINATE THE PLANET!'''''\
1301CLEARLY, THERE'S NOBODY NEAR ME!'''\
1302I'M OWNING THIS BATTLE; IN FACT, ''I OWN THIS WHOLE SERIES!'''''\
1303SO HOP ON MY STEAMBOAT BOYS, ''BUT DON'T ROCK IT!'''''\
1304I'LL PUT A SMILE ON YOUR FACE AND ''GREEN'' IN YOUR POCKET!'''\
1305YOU'LL BE SAFE AND INSURED WHEN YOU'RE UNDER MY EMPLOY!'''\
1306NOW LOOK AT IT! ''GAZE UPON MY EMPIRE OF JOY!!!!'''''
1307[[/folder]]
1308
1309[[WMG:Season 5]]
1310[[folder:J. R. R. Tolkien vs. George R. R. Martin]]
1311* Tolkien makes his appearance on his title card by suddenly appearing on-screen, smiling while showing the audience the One Ring and putting it in his pocket. He doesn't need the One Ring to beat his opponent.
1312* In the battle, George R. R. Martin brags about killing off his characters, while doing so in the video to Jon Snow. Then, near the end of his first verse, said character is seen rising up off a table in the background, having apparently come back to life. This mirrors a scene in ''Series/GameOfThrones'' Season 6 Episode 2, which came out a mere ''twenty-six hours'' before this battle went live on [=YouTube=]. ERB took a serious gamble on this scene appearing, as this battle would have been finished long before the Season 6 premiere.
1313* It's the most obvious joke imaginable, but while Tolkien rattles off the way that Martin has ripped off everything from the HighFantasy genre (Of which Tolkien is basically the TropeCodifier) in order to serve his own LowFantasy setting, Tolkien finishes with this TakeThat.
1314--> '''Tolkien:''' I got the prose of a pro, your shit's subpar.\
1315You're a pirate: you even ''stole my 'R.R.'!''
1316* Martin comes out firing, boasting about how audiences love every character that he creates, and then gloats over how distraught they are when he kills them off (while stabbing a Jon Snow lookalike). He then rips Tolkien for indulging in TheGoodGuysAlwaysWin.
1317--> '''Martin:''' All your bad guys die and your good guys survive.\
1318We can tell what's gonna happen by page and ''age five!''
1319* Tolkien isn't cowed, and begins by riffing off the fact that despite ''Game of Thrones'' popularity, the popularity of ''A Song of Ice and Fire'' is nowhere near The Lord of The Rings ("I'm number one ''and'' two, you're under Literature/FiftyShadesOfGrey!"). Then Tolkien fires right back at the MoralMyopia world that Martin created, which is a common criticism of ''[=GoT=]''.
1320--> '''Tolkien:''' We all know the world is full of chance and anarchy so yes its true to life for characters to die randomly.
1321--> '''Tolkien:''' But news flash: the genre's called ''fantasy,'' it's ''meant'' to be unrealistic you '''''[[SuddenlyShouting MYOPIC MANATEE!]]'''''
1322* While nonchalantly lighting his DistinguishedGentlemansPipe, Tolkien fires off this zinger
1323-->'''Tolkien:''': C.S. Lewis and I were discussing/how you and Jon Snow ''both know nothing!''
1324* The way Martin spits out the following rhyme sounds like something from Music/{{Eminem}}.
1325--> '''Martin:''' I'm rock n' roll you're a nerdy little nebbish and I may be dirty but you got a hairy foot fetish, [[PrettyFlyForAWhiteGuy dawg!]]
1326** And his last verse CrossesTheLineTwice...
1327--> '''Martin:''' Even the ''names'' of your characters suck! You got Boffers and Bofurs and Brandybucks?
1328--> '''Martin:''' Well I got a second breakfast for all them goofy fucks: lift up my gut and ''tea-Baggins my nuts!'' [[note]] Note that Martin runs right towards the camera while saying this, basically inviting Tolkien (and the viewers) to [[DontExplainTheJoke suck his dick.]] [[/note]]
1329* Tolkien's final lines are maybe the most fitting BadassBoast in ERB history:
1330--> '''Tolkien:''' And I'm more rock and roll than you've ever been…don't believe me? ''Ask Music/LedZeppelin!''
1331--> '''Tolkien:''' You can't reach this fellow, shit I'm too Towering! Every time I battle it's '''''RETURN OF THE KING!!!'''''
1332** For extra awesome points, earlier in the rap battle Martin called himself rock and roll while dismissing Tolkien as nebbish. By bringing up the fact Led Zeppelin based various songs around ''Lord of the Rings'', Tolkien is able to state he's more rock and roll than Martin and, unlike his opponent, ''actually prove it''.
1333** And for extra extra awesome points, the beat briefly shifts smoothly into Led Zeppelin style drums and back, without missing a beat.
1334* The video has a particularly impressive visual effect as Martin shakes a small branch at Tolkien, then drops it, where it becomes a full size branch in Tolkien's World War I setting.
1335* The fake-branch to real branch is a splendid way of contrasting the two authors. Tolkien is actually a war veteran vs Martin, who avoided the Vietnam war. It kinda puts to mind who really has experience in war, huh?
1336[[/folder]]
1337
1338[[folder: Gordon Ramsay vs Julia Child]]
1339* The opening of this video must be mentioned especially. Before the title is announced, there is a short montage of different recipes being prepared (which the ERB staff all had to make themselves). Then the opening line by Ramsay reveals that this rap battle has interrupted him just as he is finishing an episode of his show. '''THE ENTIRE SET''' moves around Ramsay, as his staff changes the scenery from a black screen to a green screen, and Ramsay walks calmly through it all like a boss while telling Julia that she should be ''grateful'' he is taking time out of his day to rap against her.
1340* Child brushes off any of Ramsay's insults and cuts back hard. Very few people on any of Ramsay's programs can get through his BerserkButton tendencies on his shows, but Child is unaffected by him. She just shrugs him off.
1341** Gordon Ramsay has been known to break people to the point of having to leave the show crying. Child mentions this with her epic lines.
1342--->'''Julia Child:''' You scream at women but the fits that you're pitching make ''you'' the pissiest [[PrecisionFStrike bitch]] in the kitchen!
1343* And she rips the head off a chicken with her bare hands.
1344* Ramsay throws a carrot at Child, but she casually deflects it with a skillet.
1345* They did enough research on Julia Child to incorporate not only her calf brain recipe, but the ''exact page'' it appears in her book.
1346** Props to Ramsay for the actual verse that mentions the calf brains:
1347--->I've seen your little show, and it sure ain't pretty.\
1348One part Big Bird, ''two parts Miss Piggy!''\
1349You can't test me with your fatty recipes!\
1350Call your book ''Mastering the Art of Heart Disease!''\
1351I mean, '''it's rubbish!''' Look at page 408:\
1352Tell me '''who the fuck''' wants to learn how to cook '''calf brains?!'''\
1353You call these rhymes raw? '''They're stale and soft!'''\
1354Now here, take this jacket...\
1355''[Dramatic swell, [[Funny/EpicRapBattlesOfHistory followed by awkward silence]].]''
1356--->'''Now give it back and FUCK OFF!'''
1357* In one of Gordon's first lines, he tells Julia that he has exactly two minutes to deal with her. [[ExactWords By the time he's done with his verses, it's been exactly 2 minutes.]]
1358* Julia Child ends the battle with her normal sign-off on ''The French Chef'', dropping the meat tenderiser ([[MicDrop instead of the mic]]) and a ''bon apetit'' with a grin, by suggesting Ramsay ''[[SophisticatedAsHell eat a dick]]''.
1359* Ramsey has a whole crew of Blue Team Chefs under his thumb, as they just say 'yes chef' or 'no chef'. He's basically a puppet master in this situation.
1360* Julia Child comes out swinging.
1361-->Go ahead and cross your arms in that B-boy stance\
1362When it comes to haute cuisine, [[TakeThat There's one F word: France!]]\
1363Here's a nice amuse-bouche:\
1364Take a poor abused youth,\
1365Set a thirty year timer,\
1366Voila! Huge douche!
1367* Like Stephen King, David Copperfield, Bill Nye and the Mythbusters before, Gordon Ramsay has seen the battle and [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=99-n42Xb6NQ&lc=z131s1wzopnlcpy1i22wizwj4n3zzdaru04 commented on it]].
1368** Notably, while King and Copperfield both claim that their opponent won the battle, [[AwesomeEgo Ramsay is the first to claim HIMSELF as the victor]]. Does that count as a third confirmed win...?
1369* Julia Child casually citing her Office of Strategic Services (predecessor to the CIA) experience as part of her CV while staring down Ramsay and buttering bread.
1370[[/folder]]
1371
1372[[folder: Frederick Douglass vs Thomas Jefferson]]
1373* Douglass nails Jefferson so hard on his hypocrisy regarding slavery that Jefferson has to spend his entire second verse making excuses for it. Then Douglass goes even harder on his own follow-up.
1374* Douglass barely brags about his own accomplishments. He mentions teaching himself to read and there's a sideways reference to him beating his owner, but this is a man who met with Lincoln, published a newspaper, had a legendary beef with Susan B. Anthony, and published the TropeCodifier for the slave narrative, which was an entire literary genre in its day. Douglass manages to cow Jefferson to mic-dropping proportions entirely by focusing on Jefferson's shortcomings, not his own strengths.
1375* Rather than immediately react to Jefferson's first verse, Douglas takes a few bars to just calmly stroke his beard before responding, unfazed "You finished? [[LetsGetDangerous Okay...]]"
1376* The ShoutOut to [[Music/{{NWA}} "Straight Outta Compton"]] with which Douglas begins his verse, complete with the arm-throwing swagger.
1377-->"'''''[[IncomingHam STRAIGHT OUTTA BONDAGE!!]]''''' ''A brainy mothafucka here ta diss you!''"
1378* The cameos by a bunch of other Americans featured on the series when Jefferson brings up how he helped found the country.
1379* Douglass' second verse is awesome with how it closes in contrast to the rest. He basically agrees that Jefferson has done some great things, including some anti-slavery stuff, and is rightfully famous but his hypocrisy taints his legacy. In doing so, he proves that he's not just some AngryBlackManStereotype but more of a disappointed one that wants the full version of Jefferson's life to be known instead of just his accomplishments.
1380* The fact that the ERBH team didn't go the route of making Thomas Jefferson a hero, like many of those that participate in Founder Father Chich, or a villain, like Hamilton did. Instead they went a road that was probably the closest to what Jefferson actually thought. Even Douglass agreed with what Jefferson said, going by his body language, until Jefferson asked if they were cool.
1381* And fair play to the man, Jefferson's first verse had all the bravado and aggression one would expect of a proper battle rap but after Douglas brings up slavery in his own verse, the tone shifts; Rather than argue Douglas's accusations, he uses his second verse to confess his part in the "hideous blot" of slavery, and to somehow explain his actions. And while his attempts to make amends may have been too little, too late, he was willing to essentially throw the fight in order to take responsibility for his actions.
1382[[/folder]]
1383
1384[[folder: James Bond vs Austin Powers vs 60's James Bond]]
1385* The battle has different themes for each rapper. James Bond is a more serious action-y one, Austin Powers has a more jive and big band feeling one while 60's James Bond has one of similar flavour to the famous movie theme. The way they flow into each other seamlessly, even for short moments such as Austin saying "Jeez" after getting slapped by Connery's Bond, is also pretty impressive.
1386* James Bond is getting increasingly mad and keeps saying that he's the best movie spy ever and that he's the original Austin Powers is ripping off. What happens? The Creator/SeanConnery Bond shows up to tell him otherwise.
1387--> ''"I wouldn't exactly call you... original."''
1388* Austin and Modern Bond teaming up to call out the rape implications of some of 60's James Bond's love scenes. Notably, it's Austin Powers, the free love 60's flower child spy, who most directly calls it out.
1389--> '''Austin Powers:''' Yeah, to be honest, you are a bit rapey. I mean I like to swing but Dr. No means "no", baby.
1390* Original Bond slaps both his opponents, a level of physical attack the series hasn't reached since the second appearance of Abraham Lincoln. Even Austin looks shocked/impressed.
1391* A couple awesome plays on both franchises' histories:
1392** Bond points out how Austin fizzled after just three films, using one of his own titles, ''Film/YouOnlyLiveTwice''.
1393** Connery Bond is told "You've had your six," a line he said in ''Film/DrNo'', and also referring to his six films in the series (officially, at least).
1394* 60's Bond's one liners are to be expected, but somehow the instrumental stopping in dead silence whenever he says one adds to the awesomeness.
1395--> '''60's Bond:''' I don't need a Q to ''break your balls.''[[note]] A play on using a pool cue to break balls. [[/note]]
1396* Most battles either end with a fade out or one rapper ending with a line that has no comeback, but 60's Bond ends the battle with a line that isn't just DefiantToTheEnd, but an outright BringIt:
1397--> '''60's Bond:''' I'm all in, I'm ready to [[Film/DieAnotherDay die any day]] that you want!
1398* This battle got an assistant editor. It shows, as this battle has some of the most impressive visuals of any Epic Rap Battle so far, with the background of Bond's first verse being comparable to the stunning visuals of James Bond movie openings (complete with a BondGunBarrel), while Austin's verse background is also an eye-pleaser (complete with their own version of the "'60s band/go-go dancers" cutaway scenes of the Austin Powers films).
1399[[/folder]]
1400
1401[[folder: Bruce Banner vs Caitlyn Jenner]]
1402* Bruce Banner gets a pretty awesome Hulk transformation, but Caitlyn Jenner takes it up a notch by having her transition be portrayed as a ''Franchise/SailorMoon''-style transformation!
1403* Caitlyn going MamaBear over her daughter Kylie, with GunsAkimbo.
1404* Banner never ''once'' slams Jenner for her transgender status, focusing on other, legitimately terrible, things she's done in her life. After the transformation, Hulk's [[OutOfFocus small number of lines]] point out that Jenner can't use her trans status as a smokescreen for the less tasteful parts of her personality and past. [[HulkSpeak Hulk angry, but Hulk not hate.]]
1405-->'''Hulk:''' No gender issue! This ''Jenner'' issue! You being '''you''' is enough to diss you!
1406** Despite Banner having ''much'' fewer lines than Jenner, the general consensus among ERB fans is that Banner won the battle.
1407[[/folder]]
1408
1409[[folder: Alexander the Great vs Ivan the Terrible vs Frederick the Great vs Pompey the Great vs Catherine the Great]]
1410* "Try to Serve Ivan? No Surviving!"
1411* To give the man his due, Alexander's rapid-fire rap, detailing all his achievements was something to behold.
1412* Ivan pulls an ISurrenderSuckers to kill off both Alexander and Frederick the Great, but then Catherine the Great calls his bullshit and keeps going, getting the last word in.
1413** Ivan doesn't bother insulting Catherine by countering her claim that "It takes a Russian to take down a Russian," considering she wasn't a Russian by birth. Granted, it's to make a snide joke about the... horse story but he indirectly acknowledges her as a Russian ruler and something of an equal.
1414** Even then, Catherine ''immediately'' counteracts that by pointing out the horse story is shit.
1415* Frederick's arrival is accompanied by a sudden change in the music, and for good measure he also plays a flute over his own intro.
1416** The "narrator" also repeats his nickname of 'Old Fritz' during Fredericks introduction.
1417* Catherine makes her entrance by beheading Pompey before he even gets going. This marks the second time somebody has prevented a rapper from dropping in, and the first to use this as a way to break in to the battle.
1418* [[FridgeBrilliance When you think about it]], Frederick the Great actually ''wins'' the battle with Ivan - Ivan admits defeat in attempt at an ISurrenderSuckers but Frederick one-ups him by dying first... but only ''after'' Ivan brings him his chair like Frederick ordered him to. [[ThanatosGambit Oblique attack tactics]], indeed!
1419* Ivan boasts "I'm the first Tsar of ''all of Russia!''" and the entire cast of "Rasputin vs. Stalin" appear behind him--including LetsPlay/PewDiePie's Baryshnikov, who does some eye-catching ballet twirls that didn't appear in the original video.
1420
1421[[/folder]]
1422
1423[[folder:Donald Trump vs Hillary Clinton]]
1424* They aren't afraid to call out Hillary on her bull.
1425--> '''Trump''': But your rhymes are trash, put 'em next to your e-mails
1426--> '''Trump''': He left a mess on that dress like you left in Benghazi!
1427--> '''Trump''': What do the american people have to yankie-doodle do to get it throught your fat face that they are just not that into you.
1428* A moment of Awesome for the sound design, as Donald continues to rap there's a subtle background noise of distorted cheering that grows louder, giving a creepy propagandist-like feel to each of Trump's crescendos.
1429* Hillary's verse has her tearing into Donald's controversies, which can feel ''very'' cathartic to many people.
1430* Kimmy Gatewood, who hasn't been seen since Monroe vs Cleopatra, comes in swinging and shows how much she's grown over the years.
1431* The triumphant return of Abraham Lincoln, once again airdropped in via giant eagle, which begins with this beautiful bit of IncomingHam, which gets bonus points for preventing Trump from saying the N-word.
1432-->'''Abe:''' [[YouHaveGotToBeKiddingMe ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME WITH THIS BLAH BLAH BLAH?]]
1433** This is followed by him giving Trump a complete verbal curbstomp that, considering 2016's party rifts, even some Republicans can appreciate:
1434-->'''Abe:''' I'M SO SICK AND TIRED OF THIS RIDICULOUS ''SHIT!'' IF THIS IS THE BEST MY PARTY GETS, THEN MY PARTY SHOULD '''''QUIT!'''''
1435** As Abe cracks his knuckles to deliver [[CallBack another smackdown]], he smacks Trump once then turns to Hillary and smacks Trump ''again'' while looking her dead in the eyes before soaring away on his eagle. Abe WouldntHitAGirl, but that doesn't mean he can't intimidate her.
1436** He actually moves towards her ever so slightly after slapping Trump, and she flinches back as though he'd actually hit her. Intimidation indeed
1437* Hillary doesn't spare Trump's brood from her verses, or his wife either.
1438-->"I said that I respect your children, but that wasn't quite right, yo\
1439Lookin' like some extras from ''Film/AmericanPsycho''"
1440* While the battle is more in Hillary's favour, that doesn't stop Trump from having some decent lyrics.
1441-->"You wanna break the glass ceiling Hillary, I sense it.\
1442But the only crack you'll find is my ass pressed against it."
1443[[/folder]]
1444[[folder:Ash Ketchum vs Charles Darwin]]
1445* The special effects on Ash's end, especially the Pokémon animations.
1446** In a nod to the anime, when Ash turns his hat backwards, it zooms in on his eye - which, blink and you'll miss it, smoothly transitions into the tall anime style before zooming back out.
1447* [[FunnyBackgroundEvent Pikachu takes out Team Rocket as they're sneaking up behind Ash, without him even noticing.]]
1448* Darwin being a DeadpanSnarker to start, remarking how irrelevant Pokémon training is to his own studies:
1449-->Hello there, welcome to a world called Earth.
1450-->Where actual minds do groundbreaking work.
1451** Some time later, Darwin spits out perhaps one of the best flowing-lines in the series:
1452-->I'm a masterful naturalist!
1453-->What I've glimpsed will outclass all the crap on your laughable list!
1454* Ash gets the beat to stop for a line that actually makes Darwin flinch in shame:
1455-->Yo, um, real quick?
1456-->This dude spent eight years studying ''barnacle dick.''
1457* After lobbing several great burns throughout the fight, Darwin saves the most cutting for last:
1458-->"And it was hard losing my daughters and their brother
1459-->As hard as the wood that Oak gave {{your mother}}."
1460** Ash's line to prompt it:
1461-->You lost three children when they were still small!
1462-->TB and scarlet fever; '''gotta catch em all!''
1463** The line just before that one:
1464--> It took millions of years for mankind to evolve!
1465--> Now they're hunched over cellphones playing with your balls!
1466* Depending on your stance/perspective on this, Darwin going for the throat at the start of his next verse:
1467-->'''Darwin''': Look, [[Series/MightyMorphinPowerRangers Mighty Morphin']] [[UsefulNotes/AmericanFootball Michael Vick]]
1468-->Your animated slave fights make me sick!
1469* Darwin could have simply said "You are still ten" like most people do. But no, he said, "You can't even turn eleven!"
1470* Ash has a couple of zingers in his verses.
1471** He gets in a particularly clever bit of wordplay with [[UsefulNotes/{{Evolution}} The Origin of Species]].
1472-->Your shit-talking mouth is the origin of feces!
1473** He also hits back at Darwin's line about how he's Dar-winning by pointing out that he [[KissingCousins married his first cousin]].
1474-->Man, if that's true, then nature is cruel
1475-->'Cause the only thing you're winning is your cousin's gene pool!
1476[[/folder]]
1477
1478[[folder:Wonder Woman vs Stevie Wonder]]
1479* Wonder Woman starts off with some awesome lines as the camera begins with a close-up on her.
1480-->Wonder Woman fly, I'm about to tell you why.
1481-->Princess Diana, but this lady don't die.
1482-->My rhymes are signed, sealed, and delivered on time
1483-->''You a bald has-been,'' '''I'm in my Amazon prime!'''
1484** She also belts these out in her first verse while ''punching a meteor'':
1485-->Gods made me out of clay, then they broke the mold!
1486-->I'm like Gina Davis: ''in a Justice League of my own!''[[note]]This line also features a quite epic pun: it seems she's talking about ''Film/ALeagueOfTheirOwn'' star Creator/GeenaDavis, but the subtitles reveal she's actually referencing bodybuilder Gina Davis.[[/note]]
1487* T-Pain manages to pull off a rather impressive Stevie Wonder in this battle, his first verses being some of his best and most hard-hitting thanks to his fierce delivery.
1488-->I feel like this is the beginning~
1489-->But you have sucked for a few thousand years!
1490-->I'm a man who comes from a higher ground
1491-->and I say DC is a whole step down!
1492-->''I've been spitting out hits since both Fingertips''
1493-->''so use the tip of your fingers AND READ MY LIPS!''
1494** Stevie also has a fiery, bombastic response in his final verse that again gets prop for the intense delivery:
1495-->You couldn't walk in my shoes!
1496-->So stick to your reboots!
1497-->With plot lines so thin,
1498-->'''EVEN I CAN SEE THROUGH!'''
1499[[/folder]]
1500
1501[[folder: Tony Hawk vs Wayne Gretzky]]
1502* Tony Hawk's opening verse goes hard at Gretzky's believed lack of toughness and favoritism from the league:
1503--> You got your whole league to protect and adore you
1504--> So which goon's gonna take ''this'' battle for you
1505* Tony Hawk practically sings some of his lines, keeping up the momentum the whole time. Particularly this gem from the middle of the first verse;
1506--> You're old and you're basic, Your talent has faded, and Oiler Alert: you're about to get traded!
1507* "Great one, Wayne! Lemme say something, Wayne! I got 99 problems, AND YOU AIN'T ONE, WAYNE!"
1508* Gretzky opens up his third verse with one hell of a BadassBoast.
1509--> Time out! Let's talk about athletic achievements! You and I have so many world records between us 184! That's plenty of 'em, ''And I set 183 of 'em!''
1510* Gretzky gets perhaps the best finisher in ERB history.
1511-->And I'm too far ahead for you to catch up!
1512-->For true sports this was finished [[NoFourthWall as soon as they heard the match-up!]]
1513** Accompanied by him doing a MicDrop... with his hockey stick.
1514* Tony Hawk gets some impressive visuals consistent of Tony Hawk's American Wasteland in the second half of his first verse. He also pulls skating stunts almost continuously during the second.
1515* This excellent wordplay:
1516-->"[[BadassBoast I'm the greatest ever when I play hockey/But on the microphone I don't play, Hawkey!]]"
1517* Gretzky's first verse is [[HurricaneOfPuns full of various puns]], but one in particular stands out:
1518--> And my hot wife, the only woman in the world for Wayne!\
1519You're on your fourth wife; talk about the (E)X Games!
1520* When Tony gets serious and starts spitting some vicious (and somewhat truthful) lines:
1521-->I try to watch you on TV, but I can't see the puck
1522-->Hockey used to have guts, but now the teams ''[[Film/TheMightyDucks mighty suck!]]''
1523[[/folder]]
1524
1525[[folder:Theodore Roosevelt vs Winston Churchill]]
1526* Theodore Roosevelt ''finally'' joins the fray himself, and the first lines of his opening verse do ''not'' disappoint.
1527-->''[[CatchPhrase Bully!]]'' [[SpiritedCompetitor A challenge! I love competition!]] [[GreatWhiteHunter Now where would I mount the stuffed head of a Winston?]] I'm into fitness, digging ditches through an isthmus, rough riding down to Cuba like: ''[[MythologyGag "WHAT'S UP BITCHES?"]]''
1528* Churchill referencing both his iconic speech ''and'' one of his most famous [[DeadpanSnarker comebacks]] during his first verse, to dramatic effect.
1529-->''I'll fight you on the beaches, I'll fight you on the beats, yes! anywhere you want to fight I'll fight you and I'll beat you see! I might be battling even though I'm toasted. But tommorow I'll be sober, and you'll still be roasted!''
1530* Churchill's flow "Look at Roosevelt/The dude's about/To lose the bout/To Churchill" is exemplary.
1531* Churchill has Roosevelt shot in the chest, only for the Bull Moose to just keep going in a reference to his ''real life'' CMOA shrugging off a shot to the chest and giving a speech afterwards. In this rap battle, the would-be assassin quickly makes himself scarce while Roosevelt ignores him entirely.
1532** Not just keep going, Roosevelt practically ''roars'' his next line:
1533-->"A BULLET CAN'T STOP THE BULL MOOSE! TR WILL GIVE WC THE FULL DEUCE!"
1534** And Churchill, who's otherwise [[StealthPun kept calm]] this whole time, capping off the whole song by roaring ''right back'' in his face!
1535-->"WHATEVER SHIT YOU THROW AT ME, I'LL JUST RETURN TO SENDER! I WILL BATTLE TO THE END AND I WILL NEVER! SURRENDER!"
1536** The fact that, instead of simply trailing off, [[AndTheAdventureContinues the battle ends with both sides seemingly ready to keep going.]] In fact, most of the viewers commented that they can't decide who won!
1537* After Teddy claims Churchill isn't as great as he's made out to be, Churchill retorts by showing how Teddy's accomplishments compare to his own: "I was saving the planet from an axis of darkness while you were back home opening national parks, yes!"
1538* Roosevelt's brutal come back to Churchill's line about his parents' premature deaths.
1539-->My parents died when I was young and it was morbid.
1540-->[[ParentalAbandonment But at least they didn't ditch me while they were alive, like yours did.]]
1541[[/folder]]
1542
1543[[folder:Nice Peter vs [=EpicLloyd=], Pt 2]]
1544* For the first time since the first season, we see the two co-creators of ERB go off at each other over their differences, and show as many of their previous battles in the background flashing by during the course of the video. Yet even more awesome is the ending.
1545-->'''Nice Peter:''' "You wanna write a song?"\
1546'''[=EpicLloyd=]:''' [[TrueCompanions "Yeah dude!"]]
1547* This episode is a testament to how good of actors and rappers Peter and Lloyd are: in spite of obviously being staged, lots of people thought they were genuinely mad at each other, to the point where commenters thought this was truly going to be the end of the show. Bear in mind that this was ''before'' it was confirmed they would be going on an indefinite hiatus.
1548* As a first in ERB, the final verse has Peter and Lloyd delivering their verses in sync:
1549--> '''Peter/''Lloyd'':''' Yo I guess what I'm saying, man, is that I'm running out of patience, man / ''I've fought with my wife and gone under the knife''\
1550I'm a patient man, but sometimes you need to be a patient, man / ''And I've taken years off the back end of my life''\
1551I got the same shit I was dealing with at the very beginning! / ''Man, right since the beginning we've been fighting! No one's winning!''\
1552I'm trying to get somewhere with it, man, but all / ''People would kill to do what we do for a living!''\
1553'''Both: ''YOUR BITCHING IS KEEPING MY WHEELS SPINNING!'''''
1554[[/folder]]
1555
1556[[WMG: Season 6]]
1557
1558[[folder: Freddy Krueger vs. Wolverine]]
1559* Freddy is genuinely threatening in this one when he stops playing around and starts using his dream powers. Highlights include replacing Wolverine's claws with mini-Freddies, growing giant while shrinking Wolverine to mini-size, replacing his arms with massive magnets (looking exactly like a cheesy special effect in one of the later Nightmare films) and recreating [[Film/ANightmareOnElmStreet1984 the first movie]]'s infamous "stretching wall" scare at the end.
1560* Freddy Krueger may be a sick bastard with a talent for killing people in uniquely gruesome ways, but Wolverine shows he's anything but scared:
1561-->'''Wolverine:''' Don't sleep? That's all you got for me? Could defeat your ass with ''a cup of tea!''\
1562[[EscapedFromHell I've been to hell and back and whooped Satan's ass]]; ''you got beat by a Nancy on Elm Street!''\
1563You wanna talk about burns, mac? The PTA burned your face into Deadpool's ballsack\
1564wrapped in a Where's Waldo sweater.\
1565[[Franchise/FridayThe13th Jason]] can't talk and he rocks the mic better!
1566* But even though Logan's one of the most unkillable men in the Marvel canon, Freddy still manages to shake him to the core when he reveals that he's in the dream world right now, with all the horrific MindScrew that implies. Then towards the end is where he's turned his hands into literal magnets and drags Wolverine and his Adamantium skeleton across the ground. Magneto would be proud if Freddy wasn't... you know, Freddy.
1567-->'''Freddy:''' What's the matter? You look tired, eh?\
1568I'll be in your bed tonight, [[YouNeedToGetLaid unlike Jean Grey]].\
1569As for me, I'm a chick magnet,\
1570so heavy-metal bitches are real attracted!\
1571''What the fuck is a wolverine?'' Some kind of an angry beaver?\
1572I was more intimidated by a tiny Canadian the first time I saw ''Music/JustinBieber!''
1573* But even after he wakes up from the nightmare, Wolverine is more pissed than frightened, and he's got his head on straight enough to drop a few last bombs as he looks around, actively hunting for Freddy:
1574-->'''Wolverine:''' I ain't got time for this; I'm saving the world. What qualities do you bring?\
1575You're a pedophile from the Midwest; at least Music/RKelly could sing!\
1576[[NervesOfSteel So you've got the wrong room if you're looking for fear]]!\
1577Only thing scares me is ''a fridge with no beer!''\
1578And that face tells me you've met your match...\
1579so come back if you've got another itch to scratch.
1580* Wolverine gets one final moment at the very end of the battle when Freddy is coming out of the wall behind him. As Wolverine turns around when he realizes Freddy's behind him, the expression on his face isn't one of [[OhCrap terror]]; his scowl only deepens as if he's saying "''Finally''..."
1581* The team behind the battle deserves props specifically for the costuming, Freddy's look is about as close as one can get to the original with the budget available, but Wolverine's entirely original look manages to be both a replication of the general look of Logan in the comics, and a great looking outfit for live-action, which is a common concern when it comes to bringing Wolverine's comic gear to screen.
1582[[/folder]]
1583
1584[[folder: Guy Fawkes vs. Che Guevara]]
1585* As soon as he's done talking himself up, Che wastes no time in laying out Fawkes's failure in verse:
1586-->'''Che:''' You tried to rebel against James the First.\
1587Here's a tip for your next plot: '''try to rehearse!'''\
1588I got my face on a magnet on your roommate's fridge;\
1589''Your head is on a spike up on London Bridge!''\
1590You had ''one job,'' cabrón: to strike a matchstick!\
1591Got caught with a fuse like your bars: '''not lit!'''\
1592You should have stayed anonymous, Epic Fail Guy!\
1593Treat this battle like the gallows and ''take another dive.''\
1594
1595* And of course, Guy is all too happy to point out how Che ended up on the losing side of the Cold War:
1596-->'''Guy:''' As a communist, it must really hurt\
1597that your face has been weakened, cheapened, besmirched,\
1598''being plastered on posters, coasters, and shirts,''\
1599'''''[[TheManIsStickingItToTheMan making capitalists rich off of you on merch!]]'''''\
1600Right, I'm a pious man, and I fight for the lord!\
1601I would cut you, but I don't want your sweat on my sword!\
1602I was tortured until I could hardly sign my name\
1603and listening to you felt ''pretty much the same!''\
1604Face it Ernesto: ''you're Castro but less so!''\
1605[[Franchise/GIJoe He's Cuba Commander;]] ''[[Franchise/GIJoe you're more of the Destro!]]''\
1606So revolt all you want; ''I don't give two Guy Fawkes!''\
1607But look at Venezuela: '''what you're fighting for sucks!'''\
1608
1609* But Che's never been one to give up that easily, and he rattles off a few more burns before bowing out of the song:
1610-->'''Che:''' Sucks? Guy, you died for the Catholics.\
1611 A group with a bad [[PedophilePriest touching little boys habit]].\
1612
1613-->'''Che:''' ''OH!'' What's the Fawkes say now?\
1614''(Guy yips like [[Music/{{Ylvis}} a Norwegian comedian]])'' ''When they cut your junk out!''\
1615I'm the hardest Marxist ever graced a banknote!\
1616You're an error-prone terrorist: '''penny for the scapegoat!'''\
1617
1618* And Guy, despite Che's throwaway cigar lighting his powderkegs, couldn't care less and leaves on a high note of his own:
1619-->'''Guy:''' This very battle disproves your communist initiative!\
1620'''These rhyme skills are not ''evenly distributed!'''''\
1621
1622-->'''Guy:''' After what just happened, you should retire!\
1623Is it the 5th of November, 'cause ''I'M'' '''ON''' '''''FIRE!'''''
1624** Note that Guy literally gets blown up when he says "fire", but still [[FaceDeathWithDignity finishes his]] BadassBoast anyway.
1625[[/folder]]
1626
1627[[folder:Ronald [=McDonald=] vs The Burger King]]
1628
1629* This episode is an UpdatedReRelease of an episode of ''Flash-in-the-Pan Hip-Hop Conflicts of Nowadays'', but with added visuals, better character voices, and updated/improved lines.
1630* Burger King comes out swinging:
1631-->'''Burger King:''' Welcome to BK! How can I serve you today?\
1632[[BadassBoast One flame broiled ass clown?]] [[CatchPhrase Have it your way!]]\
1633You can't do fast food half as good as I do!\
1634[[LethalChef Your pink slime meat turns my asshole to a drive through!]]
1635** He finishes his first verse with a pretty sick burn as well:
1636--->'''Burger King:''' Call you Ronald Donald, 'cause there's no MC in you!
1637* Ronald [=McDonald=], meanwhile, gets a brilliant BadassBoast and ShoutOut in his first verse:
1638-->'''Ronald [=McDonald=]:''' Ask Franchise/{{Rick and Morty}} who's the lyrical boss!\
1639I've got lines for days, call me Szechuan sauce!
1640** He spends the rest of the verse emphasizing that Burger King will be AlwaysSecondBest compared to the Clown, ending with a diss that [[BreakingTheFourthWall shatters the fourth wall]]:
1641--->'''Ronald [=McDonald=]:''' I'm fast food Music/{{Eminem}}, you're Machine Gun Kelly!\
1642I'm Coke to your Pepsi; I'm Mac, you're Android!\
1643Let's be real: I'm Nice Peter and you're [=EpicLLOYD=]!
1644* Burger King responds with a clever diss-turned-ShoutOut of his own:
1645-->'''Burger King:''' [[MonsterClown You spooky-ass clown, you're so creepy it's insane!]]\
1646You look like [[Literature/{{It}} you just ate someone's brother in a storm drain]]!
1647* Ronald's second verse starts out with a scathing diss:
1648-->'''Ronald [=McDonald=]:''' That verse was ''lifeless!'' You had no joy in it!\
1649Last rapper this plastic had a Happy Meal toy in it!
1650** "You might be the King, but a clown wears the crown!"
1651* Then, unlike the Flash-In-The-Pan Hip-Hop Conflict this video was based on, AWildRapperAppears in the form of Wendy, who dominates the battle with her [[LargeHam fiery presence]] and devastating disses:
1652-->'''Wendy:''' King, you're creepy, and you’re always second fiddle!\
1653Your breakfast croissants are even worse than his [=McGriddle=]!\
1654[''turns to Ronald'']\
1655And [=McDonald's=] gave ''your'' job to a box with a face!\
1656Left you behind like a quiet kid in a [=PlayPlace=].\
1657I'm the fast food queen! Mean with a tweet sesh!\
1658[[BadassBoast Leave opponents frozen 'cause I always keep my beef fresh]]!
1659** Wendy's entrance deserves some mention as well, starting off quiet before getting progressively louder and louder as both Ronald and The King both sport an OhCrap expression as they realize a third rapper's stepping in.
1660--->'''Wendy:''' (Where's the beef?) Right here! (Where's the beef?) Right here! (Where's the beef?) Right here! (Where's the beef?) Right here!
1661*** For bonus points, Wendy enters using the very quotable Advertising/WheresTheBeef campaign slogan which was originally a veiled TakeThat to [=McDonald's=] and Burger King.
1662** Wendy exits the battle just as suddenly as she entered it, skipping happily away and into a portal while leaving Ronald and the King standing there dumbfounded. After she's gone they both stare at each other and shrug.
1663[[/folder]]
1664
1665[[folder: George Carlin vs. Richard Pryor]]
1666* George Carlin started the battle with some great lines:
1667** His opening is noteworthy:
1668--->'''George Carlin:''' [[MyNameIsInigoMontoya Here we go, it's George Carlin. I'm a mad dog snarling]].\
1669[[BrooklynRage I was born in the Bronx and brought up in Harlem]].\
1670I'm dope at spitting bars and getting crowds hardy harring,\
1671While you're [[TheWhitestBlackGuy the least threatening black dude since]] [[Series/TheFreshPrinceOfBelAir Carlton]]!
1672** He then effortlessly incorporates the SevenDirtyWords into his verse, all in rapid succession and in a way that flows naturally:
1673--->'''George Carlin:''' Now, there's seven words you can't say on a TV set,\
1674But this is the pissing fucking cunting Internet\
1675And my cocksucking motherfucking bits are the tits!\
1676Non-stopping brain droppings like my wit’s got the shits!
1677** "You'll be down for the count when this counter-culture counterman[=/=]Serves you with a stand-uppercut you can't counter, damn!"
1678* Richard Pryor, meanwhile, gets some amazing disses in:
1679-->'''Richard Pryor:''' My delivery is rupturing the tummies!\
1680You tell a joke and people go, "Hmm, that's funny."\
1681My mama was a prostitute and grandma ran the brothel!\
1682Seen some shit but not as awful as your haircut debacle!
1683** "Your style's like two drinks: it's the minimum!"
1684* The disgraced Bill Cosby tries to become the video's surprise third rapper, only to get [[HoistByHisOwnPetard a taste of his own medicine]] when Joan Rivers roofies his pudding and even smacks him back unconscious when he wakes up. Rivers then proceeds to serve one hell of a TheReasonYouSuckSpeech.
1685-->'''Joan Rivers:''' Oh, shut up, you stupid son of a bitch, you know you blew it!\
1686I'd have attacked you two first, but your hearts beat me to it!\
1687Cosby, you can't be here! You're making people nervous\
1688So let me end you real quick like I was Hannibal Buress!\
1689It turns out you were just like your sweater: monstrous!\
1690The men that I slept with only wish they were unconscious!\
1691My sex jokes offend, [[RapeIsASpecialKindOfEvil you're on the sex offender registry!]]\
1692Oh, [[CatchPhrase who are you wearing now]]? Is that State Penitentiary?
1693** Then she sets her sights on Carlin and Pryor, and she doesn't slow down in the slightest:
1694--->'''Joan Rivers:''' Enough with the roofies, let me move on to [[Franchise/BillAndTed Rufus]].\
1695My jokes always had bite, you started out toothless\
1696[[CharacterFilibuster And you just kept talking, you wouldn't shut up]].\
1697[[SpeakIllOfTheDead Honestly, I'm glad you died. Fourteen specials was enough]]!\
1698And Richard, [[CatchPhrase can we talk?]] Can I call you Dick?\
1699Like your fifth wife did when you remarried your sixth?\
1700At this point, I've got more plastic than flesh,\
1701But my Tupperware body couldn't keep your raps fresh!
1702* Just when it looks like Joan has won, Robin Williams appears out of a genie lamp and absolutely dominates everyone else without once losing his cheerful disposition.
1703-->'''Robin Williams:''' [[Film/GoodMorningVietnam GOOD MORNING MOVIE BOMBS]]! Nice shoulder pads, chief!\
1704I'm [[WesternAnimation/{{Aladdin}} a genie]] [[Music/ChristinaAguilera in the bottle]] for some comic relief!\
1705[[Film/DeadPoetsSociety O Carlin, my Carlin]], what can I say about you?\
1706Except I don't think you've had a good shit since 1962!\
1707{{Series/Mork|and Mindy}} aged backwards and Joan, you must too!\
170880 years old but that nose looks brand new! Nanu!\
1709Yo Pryor, I [[Film/MrsDoubtfire Doubtfire]] makes a good shampoo!\
1710Left you running down the street like "Oh, no!"
1711* A rap battle with five rappers and we're not even halfway through the season!
1712[[/folder]]
1713
1714[[folder: Jacques Cousteau vs. Steve Irwin]]
1715* The fact that this battle exists is one in general. Despite Steve Irwin being a highly requested rapper in the ERB fanbase, [=NicePeter=] held off on it since he didn't want to be [[DudeNotFunny too harsh on him.]] However, he came to change his mind on him during Season 6, and after deciding on a worthy opponent, one of the highest requested battlers is finally joining the ERB collection.
1716** Case in point: Jacques Cousteau decides to end his first stanza by [[DudeNotFunny mocking how Irwin died]]... [[NoSell only for Irwin to immediately deflate the burn]]:
1717--->'''Jacques Cousteau''': And just to be clear, 'cause I'm no veterinarian:\
1718Were you killed by a fish kids pet at the aquarium?
1719--->'''Steve Irwin''': Holy smokes, what a place to go!\
1720[[WhatTheHellHero You'd need a submarine for a blow that low!]] (Awhh!)
1721* Cousteau starts off the fight hard, setting himself up with a BadassBoast as the music slowly begins to build up more and more, before hitting the beat that sets the tone for the rest of the rap.
1722-->'''Jacques Cousteau:''' [[MyNameIsInigoMontoya Jacques Cousteau, here to spit flow]]\
1723[[GadgeteerGenius Invented SCUBA]], [[TheCaptain captained the Calypso]]\
1724UsefulNotes/PalmeDOr winning [[NatureDocumentary documenter of the ocean!]]\
1725Ready to battle a desperate sweaty showman!
1726* If you want another example of how tight the flow of this rap is, consider this stanza, where each rapper takes half the usual verse length to ''go for the throat'':
1727-->'''Jacques Cousteau''': Talk about sons, [[{{Hypocrite}} better watch what you say now!]]\
1728[[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steve_Irwin#Controversies You almost turned yours into Outback Mistake House!]]
1729-->'''Steve Irwin''': Would you rather talk about [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pierre-Antoine_Cousteau your brother]]? ''Ooh boy!''\
1730[[ANaziByAnyOtherName Nazi! Nazi! Nazi!]] ''Oy yoy yoy...''
1731* After bringing up his invention of the modern SCUBA gear, Cousteau manages to work its full little-known acronym (Self-Contained Underwater Breathing Apparatus) into a later verse.
1732-->'''Jacques Cousteau''': Enough of your antics and madness!\
1733Contain yourself, like my underwater breathing apparatus!
1734* Irwin nails Cousteau hard for his notorious documentary ''Film/TheSilentWorld'' ("More like Silent [[TakeThat WorldStar]]!"), in which prior to his evolution into a passionate conservationist, he and his crew were shockingly cruel and gruesome in their efforts to get good material.
1735** What ''prompts'' Irwin to do this deserves mention: at the end of Cousteau's last verse, he decides [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere that he is done with the rap]] and leaves. In any other rap, this would be the end...
1736--->'''Jacques Cousteau''': Hey, Skippy The Bush-League Kangaroo!\
1737Hold the dee, I'm Crocodile Dun with you! (walks away)
1738--->'''Steve Irwin''': [[YourPrincessIsInAnotherCastle Where ya goin', fella? (Cousteau leans back into frame) Hang on a minute!]]\
1739[[IronicEcho Like a Joey in a pouch,]] ''[[LetsGetDangerous this ain't quite finished!]]''
1740* The flow and cleverness of this line of Irwin's is often cited by fans as what won him the battle:
1741-->'''Steve Irwin''': If you wanna count fish, please take the reef tour!\
1742Don't go throwing C4 on the seafloor!\
1743I'm the gold medal rhymer on the podium,\
1744cleaning you up like a Jacques Custodian!
1745* Throughout the entire battle, Steve is actively examining and taming wild animals. He handles snakes numerous times, and he doesn't break stride even while feeding a hungry (and vicious) crocodile.
1746[[/folder]]
1747
1748[[folder: Mother Teresa vs. Sigmund Freud]]
1749* Mother Teresa's second verse is a delightful cavalcade of wordplay, chaining together insult after insult in an impressive display of lyrical skill.
1750-->'''Mother Teresa:''' You call that a verse? You're super-ego-tripping!\
1751I've gotta say, Sigmund, you're Freudian slipping!\
1752I built mad missions in my savior's name.\
1753All you built was a mad tolerance for cocaine!\
1754Obsessed with masturbation, but you're off the beat.\
1755Your flows are so poor, I should be washing their feet!\
1756Everything is sex to you! After I'm through wrecking you,\
1757I'll have to go and do confession ''just for standing next to you!''
1758* Of course, Freud isn't willing to leave this battle without a few scathing insults of his own.
1759-->'''Sigmund Freud:''' I notice that you talk a lot about yourself, which is funny,\
1760since you hide your true feelings like they were ''other people's money!''\
1761''Ooh!'' An exception to my theory; I can't believe this!\
1762Here we have a mother that no one wants to sleep with!\
1763You had a nice message, but your methods were detestable—\
1764I've seen better care given to organic vegetables!\
1765I've got the libido to continue to beat ya,\
1766but our time is up, Teresa.
1767** Of note, Freud begins the battle setting his watch. To him, Teresa is just another patient for him to analyse.
1768[[/folder]]
1769
1770[[folder: Vlad the Impaler vs Count Dracula]]
1771* Finally doing a HalloweenEpisode after years of requests for a spooky battle in October qualifies as a MOA.
1772* Right out of the gate, Vlad the Impaler establishes himself as someone not to be taken lightly.
1773--->'''Vlad the Impaler:''' Imagine forests of corpses, dripping on a buffet,\
1774You call that a nightmare? [[ButForMeItWasTuesday I call that a Tuesday]].
1775** He also takes time to highlight his brutal military conquests.
1776--->'''Vlad the Impaler:''' Scorched the Earth from Hungary to Wallachia!\
1777[[TheDreaded I inspire fear]]; you inspire Count Chocula!\
1778Stepped to the Turks and the bodies started dropping!\
1779Put my foot on Ottomans like I was furniture shopping!
1780** He also threatens Dracula with his [[KryptoniteFactor signature weaknesses]]:
1781--->'''Vlad the Impaler:''' [[ImpaledWithExtremePrejudice I save my stakes]]; no need [[HolyBurnsEvil crucifix]]\
1782I kill you with [[VampiresHateGarlic Olive Garden garlic breadsticks]]!
1783* Dracula may be more LaughablyEvil than his opponent, but he still makes his rhymes [[{{Pun}} count]]:
1784-->'''Count Dracula:''' The flex of a rear-spearing princeling can't vex me\
1785'Cause [[VampiresAreSexGods I nibble necks and I make it look sexy]]!\
1786I'm Universally known for intrigue and desire!\
1787I shapeshift into mist and bone Winona Ryder!\
1788[[ClassicalMovieVampire Slick hair, popped collar, and a damn nice cape]]\
1789While [[BoringInsult you've got less taste]] than an Creator/AnneRice cake!\
1790Your rhymes are empty, like I leave vascular systems!\
1791I'd grant you the privilege of being Dracula's victim
1792* In his second verse, the Impaler gets even more savage with his disses.
1793-->'''Vlad the Impaler:''' Did you shapeshift those punchlines? 'Cause they mist!\
1794Your skill's like [[MissingReflection your reflection]]: it doesn't exist!\
1795\
1796Get beat by Count Dracula? You're smoking crack-ula!\
1797I dunk on your whack-ula raps like I'm Shaq-ula! \
1798\
1799Your slick hair and cape are all flappy razzle-dazzle,\
1800But at end of day, you're a bat and that's only half a battle!
1801* Count Dracula hits back harder with his second verse.
1802-->'''Count Dracula:''' Ha! [[DaywalkingVampire You thought the sun could kill me? Not true]]!\
1803I'm the vampire so cold they call me Film/{{Nosfer|atu}}-achoo!\
1804My syllable delivery is devilishly intricate!\
1805I rock the house, [[MustBeInvited once I'm invited into it]]!\
1806And here's a tidbit that you can stick a stake up:\
1807[[TakeThat You're losing so bad you should join]] [[Literature/TheTwilightSaga Team Jacob]]!\
1808Renfield!\
1809'''Renfield:''' Yes, master?\
1810'''Count Dracula:''' Call a doctor, not Seward\
1811'Cause Vlad the Impaler has just been skewered!
1812[[/folder]]
1813[[folder: Joker vs Pennywise]]
1814* This battle features some of the most impressive visuals ever put into a battle. Joker's side features cel-shaded comic panels that the Clown Prince pops in and out of in an almost Deadpool-like fashion, while Pennywise's side features childlike cardboard cutouts of the sewers under Derry and the house on Neibolt Street that drop in and out in a very theater-like fashion, complete with stagelights, simulated fog machines and mechanical stage transitions. The best part comes when Pennywise actually opens up his mouth and reveals the Deadlights...which are three floating Pennywise heads!
1815** Not to mention the dead-on prosthetics and voice acting that make Peter and Lloyd look/sound exactly like Creator/MarkHamill and Bill Skarsgard, respectively.
1816* Joker opens the battle by boasting about [[JokerImmunity his history of cheating death]] before going for some killer wordplay.
1817-->'''Joker:''' In my first appearance, the Bat was supposed to slay me\
1818But I can't be killed; that's why they cast [[Creator/JoaquinPhoenix a Phoenix]] [[Film/Joker2019 to play me]]!\
1819I'm [[RedBaron The Harlequin of Hate; the Clown Prince of Crime]]\
1820You're a sewer troll that Creator/StephenKing [[DrugsAreBad wrote between his lines]]!
1821** Joker ends his verse on equally brilliant lines:
1822--->'''Joker:''' [[BadassBoast I made the Justice League look like just a bunch of Super Schlubs]]!\
1823[[UndignifiedDeath You lost to a herd of nerds who call themselves the Losers Club]]!\
1824You'll be gobbled up in Gotham, so stick to your small town\
1825Where you're renowned as the "If it's brown, flush it down" clown!
1826* Pennywise's first line involves him multiplying until he fills up the screen, each clone sporting a chilling DeathGlare. It actually manages to intimidate (or at least put off) the Joker!
1827** That same verse has some great lines once it gets going:
1828--->'''Pennywise:''' [[Film/TheDarkKnight Why so serious?]] You're supposed to be Film/{{the man who laughs}}\
1829But those jokes are like your new movie: mostly really sad! (Beep-beep)\
1830You're a John Doe in my Deadlights, and you're about to fall from a new height\
1831'Cause you're weak and you've lost every fight to a knight who wears underwear over his tights!
1832** Pennywise then brings out the Deadlights, and SugarWiki/VisualEffectsOfAwesome ensue as he drops this sick burn:
1833--->'''Pennywise:''' Creator/JackNicholson [[Film/Batman1989 played you just fine]], [[QuestionableCasting but lately the casting's declined]]\
1834Creator/JaredLeto [[Film/SuicideSquad2016 came out trying to look like he was]] [[TakeThat Tekashi 6ix9ine]]!
1835* The Joker gets a win for completely [[NoSell no-selling]] Pennywise's trump card early on: Pennywise exposes him to his Deadlights, which drive normal people to catatonic madness just by proximity... and the Joker is ''completely unaffected.'' His lines in the second verse just cement it:
1836-->'''The Joker:''' Go back in your well, you giggling sewer ginger!\
1837[[UndignifiedDeath You lost to a turtle]] that wasn't even [[Franchise/TeenageMutantNinjaTurtles a ninja!]]\
1838When I flow, I go Creator/{{Mark Ham|ill}} [[WesternAnimation/BatmanTheAnimatedSeries with Ill zingers]]\
1839I steal the show like Bob Kane stole from Bill Finger!\
1840I spit acid! Be wowed! Every joke of mine stings!\
1841You're three nightlights in a cloud beat by the kid from ''Series/StrangerThings''!\
1842When I compare your antics to the fiendish schemes I revel in\
1843They pale like the moonlight you can dance with the devil in!
1844* Pennywise's second verse starts with a brutal hit below the belt before continuing on with brutal bars:
1845-->'''Pennywise:''' Pennywise likes the Devil; we have so much fun together!\
1846No one's dying to play with Joker... [[FatalMethodActing Except for maybe]] Creator/HeathLedger!\
1847Puddin', you're an embarrassment! I'll beat you [[DomesticAbuse like you beat]] ComicBook/HarleyQuinn!\
1848That purple suit is something you should only see Steve Harvey in!\
1849[[EvilLaugh AHAHAHA]]! I FEAST ON YOUR FEARS!\
1850[[RegularlyScheduledEvil I'm the Derry, Maine attraction every 27 years!]]
1851* Pennywise successfully gets under Joker's skin when he threatens to eat Batman, causing the Clown Prince of Crime to snap visibly in a rage at the thought. Pennywise, meanwhile, takes everything Joker dishes out in stride. "I feast on your fears," indeed. Though Joker still deserves credit [[DidYouJustFlipOffCthulhu for immediately standing up to Pennywise and telling him why this is a bad idea.]]
1852-->'''Pennywise:''' But you know what? I have a secret; it's like very special toy \
1853If you want to kill a Batman, '''[[EvilSoundsDeep EAT HIM WHEN HE'S A BOY]]!'''\
1854'''Joker:''' [[TheOnlyOneAllowedToDefeatYou Don't you lay a finger on my Bat, you little freak]]\
1855[[BerserkButton Or I will spend a whole week knocking out those prickled teeth]]!
1856* The Joker manages to turn the infamous [[MemeticMutation "We live in a society" meme]] into a major burn by making it the climax of a rant about the [[{{Squick}} child/pre-teen orgy scene]] in ''Literature/{{IT}}'':
1857-->'''Joker:''' Tell your author, for his next gangbang scene,\
1858[[PaedoHunt How about a little more PG, and a LOT less 13]]?!\
1859{{Even|Evil Has Standards}} '''[[EvenEvilHasStandards I]]''' [[EvenEvilHasStandards wouldn't stoop to that kind of impropriety]]!\
1860This is Earth, you space demon! ''We live in a society!''
1861* Joker gets some other amazing lines in his third verse:
1862-->'''Joker:''' [[BoringInsult I've seen your movies, so I know you don't hurry]]\
1863But I'll shoo you down the drain so fast, they'll call you [[Creator/TimCurry Tim Scurry]]!\
1864[[ComicBook/ADeathInTheFamily Ask Robin if I drop bars!]]\
1865[[GlasgowGrin I take smiles and I leave scars]]\
1866Guards in Arkham will admit\
1867[[ComicBook/TheKillingJoke That the Joker just killed IT!]]
1868* Pennywise threatens Joker by rapping the plot of an Creator/EdgarAllanPoe classic just before that.
1869--> '''Pennywise:''' You jester, I'm Montressor, about to make you my Fortunado\
1870and seal this battle up like it was ''Literature/TheCaskOfAmontillado''.
1871* Pennywise also gets to change into his [[OneWingedAngel clown-spider-hybrid form]] from ''Film/ITChapterTwo'' toward the end of the battle, escalating his flow with aplomb as he does so.
1872-->'''Pennywise:''' I spit January ember flames!\
1873You got beat by the Scooby Gang!\
1874I'm the John Wayne of [[Analysis/MonsterClown John Wayne Gacy]]s,\
1875The underground [[Music/InsaneClownPosse Clown Posse]], my flow's insane!\
1876I'm the poster boy for missing-persons posters! Joker's gonna float with me,\
1877'Cause he just messed with the best wall-eyed rapper since Music/TheNotoriousBIG!
1878[[/folder]]
1879[[folder: Thanos vs J. Robert Oppenheimer]]
1880* Immediate props to Peter and the crew for ''nailing'' his performance as Oppenheimer, from the filter effect making his raps sound like an old broadcast from his time, to his perpetual ThousandYardStare of despair and regret.
1881** [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v1vXC-vKgKg&lc=UgwD0_QJhuFk0Ql52J14AaABAg A comment]] on the video states they showed the video to [[https://exhibits.stanford.edu/oral-history/catalog/wq238br5247 Alfred Edwin]] [[https://exhibits.stanford.edu/oral-history/catalog/tr177qg6875 Khaeler]], who worked on the Manhattan Project when he was young and interacted with Oppenheimer himself. He said that Peter's performance was spot-on.
1882* Thanos gets a few gems in his opening verse:
1883--> '''Thanos:''' Got a fist of gold when I'm rappin', six Infinity Gems what I'm packin',\
1884Stick your tiny nuclear dick back into your pants, [[ComicBook/{{Watchmen}} Dr. Manhattan]]!\
1885Hadron smashing all your atoms, best not collide with me when I'm rhyming\
1886'Cause you break and bleed so easy, I think I'll call you Oppen-hymen!
1887* Oppenheimer gets a great BadassBoast for all the chemistry geeks out there:
1888--> '''Oppenheimer:''' Meanwhile, I've mastered the atom more than any man alive.\
1889Now I'm here to split U like 2 and 3 from 5!
1890* Oppy's second verse may be shorter than most, but the sheer brutality of them more than made up for it.
1891--> '''Oppenheimer:''' You wanna talk about Death? How about the one that looked at you and swiped left.\
1892[[BadassBoast I'm the destroyer of worlds]], you got your nuts handed to you by a ComicBook/SquirrelGirl.\
1893We're in the Endgame now, [[Series/{{Teletubbies}} Tinky Winky]]!\
1894I'll finish this like ComicBook/AntMan, [[AssShove all up in your stinky]]!\
1895Anyone who believes that "[[DracoInLeatherPants Thanos did nothing wrong]]" crap\
1896[[TakeThat Has obviously never heard you rap]]!\
1897[[BondOneLiner Oh snap]].
1898* The sheer levels of DavidVersusGoliath in this battle are astounding. The Mad Titan, a RealityWarper who snuffed out half of the life in the universe in cold blood, takes on a mere man, [[MyGodWhatHaveIDone and one who is still reeling from the horrors of his actions at that]]. And yet despite being a middle-aged, sickly and very obviously traumatized nuclear physicist, Oppenheimer is ''never'' intimidated by the massive purple demigod he's facing. Despite Thanos claiming he doesn't have the stones for the battle, it's pretty clear he does. By all accounts, this should have been a massacre. It arguably is... but if the comment section is to be believed, '''the one being massacred is not who you'd think it would be'''.
1899--> '''Oppenheimer:''' It must leave you enraged, when you compare our talents\
1900Because in this battle... '''[[BadassBoast there is no balance]]'''.
1901--> '''Commenter [=RoadkillPhil=]:''' It took the Avengers two entire movies to obliterate Thanos.\
1902Oppenheimer didn't even need two minutes.
1903* The sheer number of GeniusBonus lines in this battle, mostly from Oppenheimer. You need to be very well-read about both Thanos and Oppenheimer to get all of them, since they range from old comic books to nuclear physics to World War 2 to ''internet memes''. They really did their research and it shows.
1904* Another comment on the video:
1905--> Thanos’s expression through this: “I’m so intense, no one is as cool as me!”\
1906Oppenheimer’s expression through this: “Why, god, must I destroy yet another soul?”
1907** Another comment elaborates further:
1908--> It is not that Thanos didn't have good lines, "you should have gone for the head" and so on. But... Oppenheimer was just the personification of horror. It's like putting a skilled boxer against a nuke, like putting an ant against a black hole. Op looked like a professor addressing an idiot who has no idea what he has just done, controlling himself with all of his might to be as easy on him as possible, yet still nuking him not only without effort but with the effort not to do it.
1909[[/folder]]
1910[[folder: Donald Trump vs Joe Biden]]
1911* Trump comes out swinging:
1912-->'''Donald Trump:''' It's the DJT, gettin' it on!\
1913The [[BadassBoast Teflon Don on the White House lawn]]!\
1914Against wimps like you, I'll win a third term.\
1915Your campaign's [[RelativeButton like your family: crash and burn]]!\
1916Think looting and violence will keep the MAGA movement quiet?\
1917(Ha!) Resist me? That's a riot.\
1918Why don't you step behind the gym? I'll be standing by.\
1919We'll see how tough [[ImpliedDeathThreat you are against the 45]]!
1920** Even managing this rhyme, let alone delivering it so smoothly.
1921-->'''Donald Trump:''' I'll shoot a hole through your whole party!\
1922Bigger than the one I blew through Qasem Soleimani!\
1923'''Donald Trump:''' I've got all the best cognition, with all the top grammar,\
1924I'm not a [[DirtyOldMan little girl's shoulders]], so you can't touch this, [[Music/MCHammer MC]] [[StutterStop Stammer]]!\
1925You're a disaster, inciting hysteria!\
1926You say I'm selling hate in America, you're selling hatin' America!\
1927Like with [[UsefulNotes/HillaryRodhamClinton Hillary]], the people aren't swayed!\
1928You're just [[UsefulNotes/BarackObama Barack's]] [[StuckInTheirShadow shadow]], and I don't really like the shade!
1929* Biden starts his first verse perfectly:
1930--> '''Joe Biden:''' The pain of losing loved ones is something I have seen.\
1931So I know how you must have felt when they [[NeverSuicide killed]] [[HumanTraffickers Jeffrey Epstein]]!\
1932Rap lyrics just ain't for you!\
1933You should stick to [[HorribleJudgeOfCharacter love letters for]] [[UsefulNotes/NorthKorea Kim Jong-un]]!\
1934You're a wrestling heel! Nothing 'bout you's real!\
1935Bitch, you didn't even really write The Art of the Deal!\
1936'''Joe Biden:''' No matter what you try to say, global warming ain't cancelled!\
1937You pulled out of Paris, should've pulled out of Stormy Daniels!\
1938I ain't sleepy, I'm tired;\
1939Of you, Donald Trump. [[BorrowedCatchphrase You're fired]]!
1940* Trump fires back well:
1941-->'''Donald Trump:''' The only thing getting fired on my watch is tear gas from law enforcement.\
1942I'll keep America great, you'll unleash Antifa and keep America like Portland! Sad!\
1943Ain't nothing gonna beat me! No person, woman, man, camera, TV!\
1944Meh, they impeached me! [[KarmaHoudini I still walked out of DC]] looking peachy!\
1945'''Donald Trump:''' Maybe teach your son a thing or two about life,\
1946Like there's no hunting season for [[RomancingTheWidow your dead brother's wife]]!\
1947You and your mask and your Series/KnightRider shades\
1948Are getting revoked like you're Roe vs Wade!\
1949There's no Blue Wave, forget it, not coming!\
1950It's like I tell criminals, Joe: stop running!
1951* [[PunctuatedForEmphasis Biden. Absolutely. Hammering]] Trump in his last verse. Unlike the previous two battles about US presidential elections, there's no Abraham Lincoln coming in to yell at both candidates; no longer are the candidates seen as "two turds". Biden himself gets the last word and kills it.
1952--> '''Joe Biden:''' [[ArmorPiercingQuestion Was Breonna Taylor running, hmmm?]] You dog-whistling fool,\
1953I think [[WellDoneSonGuy your daddy]] would finally be proud of you: he was a racist asshole, too!\
1954[''scene cuts to two Russian hackers'']\
1955'''Russian Hacker:''' Что ты сделал? (What did you do?)\
1956'''Joe Biden:''' What's this malarkey?\
1957'''Russian Hacker:''' [[OhCrap Ох ебать!]] (Oh, fuck!)\
1958'''Joe Biden:''' Keep at it and you'll end up in jail, hoss!\
1959I'll take you down like I'm you, and you're a mailbox!\
1960From all your wives to the [=SATs=],\
1961Everything you ever did, you just had to cheat!\
1962[[SoreLoser 'Cause you're too insecure to even look like a loser!]]\
1963You're the worst damn Republican since UsefulNotes/HerbertHoover!\
1964But you scooped up a [[SycophanticServant sycophantic]], [[HeteronormativeCrusader homophobe]] Hoosier,\
1965And became the Constitution's {{domestic abuse}}r!\
1966[[UsefulNotes/COVID19Pandemic 200,000 deaths]][[labelnote:*]]At the time the rap battle aired, the death toll for the COVID-19 Pandemic in the United States was around 200,000. It would reach 400,000 before Biden was sworn in[[/labelnote]] lying [[WhileRomeBurns at your door]],\
1967[[SpeakIllOfTheDead And you think they're suckers like McCain and the Marine Corps!]]\
1968Sometimes I can't tell for which side you're rootin'!\
1969When we go high, [[TheQuisling you go down on Putin!]]\
1970Truth is, you're scared to lose!\
1971You got nothing in the banks 'cept IOU's!\
1972[[{{Wangst}} Y-y-y-y-you whine about ballots like a bitch]],\
1973But the only thing that's rigged is taxes for the rich!\
1974Look, you're a freeloader, change your name to Tramp!\
1975My campaign's ramping up, you can't get down a ramp!\
1976I'm pulling away faster [[AwfulWeddedLife than your wife's hand]]!\
1977For the love of democracy, [[BigShutUp will you shut up, man]]?
1978[[/folder]]
1979[[folder:Harry Potter vs Luke Skywalker]]
1980* Once again, the battle being BuiltWithLEGO allows for some incredible SugarWiki/VisualEffectsOfAwesome as scenes and locales from both series are lovingly recreated, with a multitude of cameos and {{funny background event}}s that [[RewatchBonus make multiple viewings necessary.]]
1981* The attention to detail in cameos is very impressive, taking advantage of the tons of characters from both ''Franchise/StarWars'' and ''Franchise/HarryPotter'' to portray over '''''63''''' distinct, named characters in the background.
1982* The fact that this is one of the few battles with ''three'' verses instead of the usual two. Harry Potter and Luke Skywalker is such a hype showdown that Lloyd and Peter decided to go into overtime.
1983* Harry starts out with some good lines:
1984-->'''Harry''': Search your feelings, do you sense Deja vu?\
1985You're getting smoked like your Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru!\
1986'''Harry''': You're the biggest let-down in your series since Snoke\
1987Makes sense your father's Vader. '''All you do is ''Choke!'''''\
1988You country bumpkin, you must be dumb!\
1989Who farms moisture on a desert planet with ''two suns''?!\
1990Let me stick my plans in your Dusty Bin droid!\
1991I'll leave you like a Horcrux: split up and destroyed!
1992* Luke comes out swinging with his first verse by pointing out Harry's own story is like his.
1993--> '''Luke Skywalker''': Your origin story is mostly stolen from me!\
1994You might be Potter, but Harry, I planted your seed!\
1995Let's see: little orphan raised by relatives in solitude,\
1996Suddenly gets taken under wing of funky wizard dude,\
1997Learns that he's been destined to have powerful gifts,\
1998But between the two of us I think I got the cooler stick! (Swing it!)
1999* Harry deflects a particularly scorching line from Luke.
2000--> '''Luke''': Your Dumbledweeb army likes to think that you're the best, all you did was use your Mom as a bulletproof vest!\
2001'''Harry''': The death of my Mother saved the Wizarding race. Your mum died of heartache when she saw your face!
2002** Harry follows that up with one of the most ''brutal'' lines in ERB history.
2003--> '''Harry''': At least when I Slytherin a sister, '''''SHE ISN'T MINE!'''''
2004* Harry winds up dissing Luke's second verse with a ''harsh'' burn:
2005-->'''Harry Potter''': But I bet you're just distracted, you got a lot on your plate.\
2006On one hand the rebellion, on the other hand- '''''[[AnArmAndALeg oh wait...]]'''''
2007* Outside of his raps, Harry repeatedly brutalizes Luke. Early into his first verse he ''kills'' Luke with [[OneHitKill one spell]] and turns him into a Force Ghost. Later, he has Luke depicted getting crushed in a trash compacter by J.J. Abrams, and finally the Weasleys crash his speeder with their broomsticks.
2008** And for his part, dying only seems to ''[[MajorInjuryUnderreaction annoy]]'' Luke.
2009* While boasting about his defeat of the Empire, Luke [[AdaptationalBadass tosses Palpatine down the shaft himself,]] and flies out in his X-Wing as the Death Star explodes behind him.
2010-->'''Luke''': I crushed an empire a galaxy large!\
2011I blew up the Death Star, you blew up Aunt Marge!
2012* Earlier, Luke takes out a whole squad of Death Eaters in one go using the force.
2013-->'''Luke''': Death would eat you up without [[HypercompetentSidekick Hermione]] and luck,\
2014Because your own skills Wingardium Levio-''Suck!''
2015** Add to this it's Luke doing this ''with his artificial hand'', which would have less of a Force connection.
2016** In fact, both Luke and Harry take out the respective evil henchmen from each other's franchises with ease. Luke uses the Force on Death Eaters, and ImperialStormtrooperMarksmanshipAcademy means all the laser blasts miss Harry.
2017* In the beginning of his second verse, Luke snaps Harry's wand. It's easy to miss, but when Harry pulls his final spell at the end, he's upgraded to the Elder Wand.
2018* One line from Luke which acts as a CallBack to three prior battles:
2019-->'''Luke:''' I'm a rhyming Jedi, like my father before me!
2020
2021[[/folder]]
2022
2023[[WMG:Season 7]]
2024
2025[[folder:Ragnar Lodbrok vs Richard the Lionheart]]
2026* It's unclear if it was deliberate, but Richard references being played by Creator/SeanConnery in ''Film/RobinHoodPrinceOfThieves'', with the battle being released on the film's 30th anniversary.
2027* Richard gets a big burn early on when he talks about how Ragnar's story ended:
2028-->Of course you got avenged by a kid with no bones; your own story ended worse than ''Series/GameOfThrones''!\
2029Your son killed your ex, your ex killed your wife; I’m the Lion King, man, but that’s a messed-up circle of life!
2030* Richard ends his first verse boasting about his backing and how easy this battle will be:
2031--> "[[BadassBoast I'm scared of no foe, I'm backed by the Trinity, I'll conquer you on my day off like you were Sicily!]]"
2032* Like the Vikings he inspired, Ragnar shows no fear and goes for deep cuts early on:
2033--> "Threatening to conquer Ragnar is bold, for a king [[UndignifiedDeath who got whacked by a ten year old]]; I'll sacrifice you to Odin, while drinking horns of mead, Good thing you hold a Red Cross 'cause that's who you're going to need!"
2034* He later calls out Richard for basically failing at what he set out to do with some delicious wordplay:
2035--> You took Acre and Jaffa like a piece of cake, But never attacked Jerusalem, for Christ's sake! You saw the Holy Land but couldn't go all the way! We should call it the Crusade of Richard the First Base!
2036* Richard fights back with some impeccable wordplay and smooth flow:
2037--> Who invented the [[RoyalWe royal me? We!]] Who's the predominantly fictional MC? Thee! You're a wannabe, mon ami, kneel down and honor me. Richard coming through in the end like Sean Connery!
2038** Doubly awesome when you realize this is a rebuttal to Ragnar's call-out of him not speaking English, as if to say "So what if I don't speak the language of my people? I'm the king, deal with it."
2039* Undeterred, Ragnar goes all out with some hardened words to ensure Richard does not come out of the battle unscathed:
2040--> Ding Dang Dong, morning bells warn about me at the break of dawn. And I'm putting you to sleep like your brother John! Leaving monks in chunks on Northumbrian lawns 'cause I'm the Allfather's spawn!\
2041You couldn't even beat a Salad in a fight! (Uh!) You're as soft as Monty Python knights! (Ya!) You went from chainmail to chained up in jail Til Mommy drained England to pay for your bail!\
2042[[/folder]]
2043
2044[[folder:Jeff Bezos vs Mansa Musa]]
2045* When Musa brags about being on the Atlas of Catalan, cut to a view of said atlas, with Musa prominently on display.
2046* Mansa Musa manages to skewer Bezos using AddedAlliterativeAppeal:
2047--> '''Mansa Musa''': David Pecker picked a pack of your peter pics!
2048* Bezos's response to Musa's line about his wife taking half his wealth in the divorce:
2049--> '''Jeff Bezos:''' What did we give to [=MacKenzie=]? 40 billion, so what?\
2050Earning every penny back only took me a month!
2051* Bezos finishes by having Alexa chime in.
2052--> '''Jeff Bezos:''' Alexa, what do we have that he lacks?\
2053'''Alexa:''' Skills.
2054* Musa calling out Bezos on his exploitation of workers and other ethically questionable business practices in his first verse:
2055-->'''Musa''': Here's a nugget of advice to get your union problems handled:\
2056Want workers that won't piss? Hire some camels!\
2057I expanded horizons, built libraries and mosques\
2058While you chopped off the top of all the mom-and-pop shops\
2059All you widened was the gap between the haves and have-nots\
2060Now they're ordering or living in your cardboard box!
2061[[/folder]]
2062
2063[[folder:John Wick vs John Rambo vs John [=McClane=]]]
2064* The very fact this is the first time ever we see a full legnth three-way battle, and between three of the biggest action heroes in all of cinema too!
2065* John Wick's introduction in his verse is as smooth and slick as his wardrobe.
2066--> Ooh\
2067I'm gonna need a dinner reservation for two.
2068* By cutting off Rambo's intro, John Wick becomes the first rapper in the series to block another character from getting the chance to start off the battle.
2069* Rambo gets his own with a BadassBoast about how he'll happily disregard The High Table's rules and gun down John in the Continental. Considering how much trouble this caused John Wick when he [[Film/JohnWickChapter2 did exactly that]], that takes some balls.
2070---> '''Rambo:''' Your high Table rules don't apply to this conflict. I'll finish you right in the lobby, mission accomplished!
2071
2072[[/folder]]
2073
2074[[folder:Lara Croft vs Indiana Jones]]
2075* Indy's intro: While still framed in shadows in his title card, he tilts his head to the side just a touch as the announcer says his name. Then he suddenly turns on his feet, pulls out his whip and strikes at the screen with it, emerging from the shadows and starting the fight before the announcer can say "Begin!"
2076* Indiana Jones quickly realizes that he's not just fighting the OG Lara Croft, as she flawlessly switches between her original video game incarnation, her rebooted form, and the version popularized by Creator/AngelinaJolie.
2077* Lara cleverly bringing up the time ''Series/TheBigBangTheory'''s Amy exposed Indy as an UselessProtagonist in ''Film/RaidersOfTheLostArk''.
2078* Indiana's second verse is both technically impressive from the get-go, and scathingly points out her violence and lack of consideration for others.
2079-->'''Indiana:''' I've been served a full-course meal of chilled Indian voodoo\
2080And they don't even kill as many animals as you do!\
2081You're corrupting the youth, they should be outside\
2082Not trying to unload the barrels on your thighs!\
2083You might have ditched those pistols, akimbo\
2084But you're still the same rich back-flipping bimbo!\
2085A brat with a treasure map to catastrophe\
2086Stuffing your knapsack with innocent casualties!\
2087Square Enix didn't want you anymore!\
2088That's why they dropped you like a J in the floor!'''
2089* This absolute burn from Lara:
2090-->'''Lara''': [[Film/IndianaJonesAndTheKingdomOfTheCrystalSkull You tried alien skulls]] [[Film/IndianaJonesAndTheLastCrusade and chose poorly]].
2091* Meanwhile Indy brings up how she's been overshadowed in popularity by a certain franchise that took inspiration from it.
2092-->'''Indiana''': You took 3D to uncharted territory\
2093Now you're just in VideoGame/{{Uncharted}}'s territory\
2094Overshadowed by Drake like Lil Wayne\
2095Somebody needs to make a tomb for your whole game!
2096* Lara ends the battle by referencing the urban legend about "the nude code"; supposedly a vide-game controller code that that would remove her character's clothes in her game. Jones has spent much of the battle slut-shamming her over her outfit and the ThirdPersonSeductress nature of her game series, and here she is pointing out that much of that reputation is an exaggeration rather something actually in the games themselves. For the cherry on top, she makes a rhyme based on his real name instead of the "adventurer-name" that he picked for himself.
2097-->'''Lara''': 'Cause Junior the baby boomer beating me at rapping? That's like my nude code; ''never gonna happen''.
2098[[/folder]]
2099
2100[[folder:Henry Ford vs Karl Marx]]
2101* The beat itself is one of the series' best, fitting both men's presences and giving way to some amazing wordplay, but what makes it even more impressive is that it's ERB's first beat done in-house. Really goes to show how much Peter, Lloyd, and their crew have grown since the beginning.
2102* Ford says he'll tear Marxism apart, and he does. First, how leaders who cited him as inspiration, (Mao, Stalin) were dictators with massive body counts, and how Communism could be seen as encouraging laziness.
2103* Marx then points out Ford's flaws. Hitler cites him by name in ''Mein Kampf'', how Ford's claims to be self-made are nonsense, and his habit of spying on his workers.
2104** The dig about Ford's inherited wealth and factory surveillance is especially devastating since Ford dedicated so much of his first verse talking about how he built up a whole industry after getting his start disassembling time pieces and referencing adages like "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" while accusing Marx of inspiring authoritarianism.
2105---> '''Marx:''' Your SelfMadeMan story's dung from a taurus. Your daddy's two hands gave you a free farm and forest! You were the first of six kids till the seventh killed your mother! Maybe that's why you spied on your workers like Big Brother!
2106* Marx's intro gets props for his [[MotorMouth extremely fast]] yet smooth flow and delivery.
2107---> '''Marx:''' "Who's that proud Young Hegelian, heavy drinkin', card carryin', future thinkin', Lincoln letter inkin' proletarian? It's Karl Marx!"
2108* Marx also [[TheReasonYouSuckSpeech condemns Ford]] [[BadBoss for keeping his workers in miserable conditions with low pay]] and, when they went on strike, [[KillThePoor having them]] ''[[KillThePoor shot]]''.
2109--->'''Marx:''' In truth what you produced were alienated working men! Who would clock in to Detroit and lose themselves like Music/{{Eminem}}! And now you Great Lakes state ain't exactly [[WretchedHive a great sight]]! You were worse for Michigan than Flint's water pipes!
2110* Marx's final verse absolutely ''tears'' into Ford for trying to brand him as a hypocrite due to being funded by Friedrich Engels' business by digging into his flaws and pointing out he really doesn't seem to have ''any idea'' what the Communism he's complaining about even ''is.''
2111--->'''Marx:''' Look, dummy. Sharing money ''is'' the communist vision. Engel's bank was the crank that got the revolution spinning! We gave everything to see the common people advance, I'm so down with the cause I even pawned my own pants! You grew so out of touch [[AbusiveParents you sabotaged your only kid, Edsel's stomach cancer showed more love than you did]], so congrats! [[AllForNothing Your legacy's in ashes]]! [[CondemnedByHistory Remembered as the fascist sympathizing cause]] of climate change and ''car crashes''! From your newspaper to your Nazi factory cross the pond, frankly Hank it's clear ''Auschwitz'' side you were on! This battle's been a blowout, like the hemorrhage in your head, I'll leave a Ford as expected. Found on road, ''dead.''
2112--->
2113[[/folder]]
2114
2115[[folder:Godzilla vs King Kong]]
2116* Two words: '''IT EXISTS'''. The King of Monsters vs the King (of) Kong in ERB.
2117* The battle is in CG, meaning we get some really impressive shots that could never be done in live-action on a low budget.
2118* The ''numerous'' references to the storied and extensive history of both the Japanese and Western heavyweights of the giant monster genre of film.
2119* Godzilla manages to fit a haiku syllable pattern into his rap without messing up the flow, so viewers won't even notice it until he points it out at the end of the quatrain:
2120-->Damn, I despise you\
2121You make weak ''tokusatsu''\
2122Soft like some tofu\
2123That's a kaiju haiku!
2124* Kong managing to fit a diss in ''sign language'' into the primarily verbal field of rap battles is an achievement in itself.
2125-->The eighth wonder of the world, and the word when I rhyme\
2126If you think your mind can compete with mine, '''[[Creator/BillEngvall Here's your sign!]]'''
2127* During Kong's third verse, he lifts up a giant boulder and throws it at Godzilla. The kaiju doesn't even treat it as a nuisance, slapping the boulder with his tail to send it back to Kong, which bounces off his chest. And Kong isn't fazed as well, as he uproots a whole tree and hurls it so hard that it hits Godzilla in the chest.
2128[[/folder]]
2129
2130[[WMG:Bonus Battles]]
2131
2132[[folder: Deadpool vs Boba Fett]]
2133* Deadpool starts off strong by making fun of Boba's [[OneSceneWonder limited role]]:
2134--> Oh, is it me? Well, here's my first issue:
2135--> I barely even know enough about you to diss you!
2136--> [[MediumAwareness But do you guys honestly think that I would screw this feud up]]
2137--> and lose to the dude ''a huge toothy coochie chewed up?''
2138* Deadpool rags on Boba for being a clone, but Boba responds by pointing out Deadpool isn't exactly original himself:
2139-->I'll smack a merc in the mouth if he doesn't quit running that lip off.
2140--> Bitch, who you calling clone? ''You're a ComicBook/{{Deathstroke}} rip-off!''
2141--> You stole ComicBook/SpiderMan's eyes and [[Franchise/GIJoe Snake Eyes]]' weapons!
2142--> You got [[ComicBook/XMen Wolverine]]'s powers, man, you're ''comic sloppy seconds!''
2143--> That Dr. Killbrew dude needs to go back to med school
2144--> 'Cause right now, you're no good to me, Deadpool.
2145* In return, Deadpool makes fun of Boba's ignominious end:
2146--> Presenting the most overrated character anyone ever saw
2147--> with ''five lines'' in the trilogy! And one of them was "AAAH!"
2148* Things really start going into overdrive when the {{Mooks}} show up. Deadpool belts this out while smacking around some goons:
2149--> And the coolest things about you got ''straight-up abandoned!''
2150--> You let a kiwi hold your gun and he ''fucked up your canon!''
2151--> So...maybe don't talk about movies, 'cause you've got dick to say.
2152--> Wrap that arm dart around Jar Jar and go ''far far away''!
2153* And Boba says this while blowing up some rebel soldiers:
2154--> I'm a legend, you're a trend. You ain't got half the skills I got.
2155--> I'll beat your ass with one eye closed: ''Boba Fetty Wap.''
2156* As a cherry on the sundae, Boba finally closes out the rap with this:
2157--> Everybody knows you got that power of regeneration.
2158--> Now ''run home and heal'' from this disintegration.
2159* Through out his last verse, Boba Fett flips and breakdances. It looks spectacular.
2160[[/folder]]
2161[[folder: Elon Musk vs Mark Zuckerberg]]
2162* Just the fact that this video exists after nearly two years of speculation as to whether or not ERB would be cancelled amidst the rise of drama and creators unable to upload their usual content out of fear of backlash and demonetization. And yet this video proved that Peter and Lloyd StillGotIt and are ready to bring the series back.
2163* Musk starts out with a BadassBoast contrasting his work with Zuckerberg's:
2164--> "I'm making brilliant innovations in a race against the Dark Ages! You provide a place to discover your aunt's kinda racist!"
2165** Musk ends his first verse with a similar BadassBoast:
2166--> "I'm [[ComicBook/IronMan Tony Stark]] with a Literature/JamesBond sprinkle tossed in, and I've been [[VideoGame/{{Fortnite}} flossing]] since you double-crossed the Winklevoss twins!"
2167* Zuckerberg fires at Musk for smoking a joint during a podcast with Joe Rogan. The Tesla CEO remains unfazed however, firing back by claiming:
2168--> "Dope smoking with Joe Rogan don't slow-motion my pace, man! When I'm conquering [=MySpace=], it's actual space, man!"
2169* Musk flies into outer space via [[TrickedOutShoes rockets in his shoes]] while continuing to rap. Specifically about his project of colonizing Mars.
2170--> "I got a loan from the White House. Boom! Sent that shit straight to moon! Now I'm taking mankind to Mars, but for your kind, man, ''I ain't got room!''
2171* Musk ends his second verse with this brilliant calling-out:
2172--> "I'm destined to rep Earth; [[TheQuisling you sold us out for some net worth]]! Your site's got so many Russian bots, they should call it [[{{Pun}} the Social Nyet-work!]]"
2173* Like him or not, you can't deny that Zuckerberg had a lot of great wordplay in his raps, including this barb against Musk's shady family history:
2174--> "I've been looking up your family; It gets dark my god! Couldn't clean your daddy's laundry with [[UsefulNotes/TheApartheidEra Apar-Tide-pods]]!"
2175* This is later followed up by a BadassBoast about his one ultra-successful company compared to Musk's many but lesser known ones:
2176--> "[[MasterofNone You got all these companies but they're incomplete!]] I've got one, and I fold money: [[{{Pun}} income, pleat!"]]
2177* He then finishes it off with has a killer line referring to Paypal.
2178--> "Get your self-driving truck to haul your ass home, 'cause this battle's like Paypal: YOU GOT OWNED!".
2179[[/folder]]
2180
2181[[WMG: Flash-in-the-Pan Hip-Hop Conflicts of Nowadays]]
2182
2183[[folder: PewDiePie vs. T-Series]]
2184* Despite the fact that they're not taking this battle as seriously as they do their actual ERB videos, both parties still drop some pretty good lines.
2185* This line from Pewds is great, especially to those that dislike how big companies seem to be gaining traction on Website/YouTube and overshadowing content creators.
2186--> "You sucked the soul from [=YouTube=]; paid to make it big\
2187You're like the [=McDonald's=] of videos without the [=McRib=]\
2188Your Bollywood budget can't handle this!\
2189Make better content than you from my room at my standing desk!"
2190* Controversial or not, this BadassBoast from Creator/TSeries in particular is notable.
2191--> "I started on cassettes, now I'm making movie deals,\
2192while you're screaming like an autistic demon playing ''VideoGame/HappyWheels''!\
2193And I would bet that those two dudes on Fiverr\
2194have a better education than most of your subscribers!"
2195* In return, Pewds drops this line calling out Creator/TSeries's own repetitive content after.
2196--> "Ten vids a week with the same sounding beat,\
2197and the same eighty dudes dancin' barefoot in the streets!\
2198See, your content's always shit, no matter how shiny!\
2199Stick to makin' trailers since you'll always be behind me!"
2200[[/folder]]
2201
2202[[WMG: Unreleased]]
2203[[folder: Henry VIII vs Hillary Clinton]]
2204* While this video was never released as an official video, ERB choosing to allow people to see a piece of their history is awesome in a different way.
2205* Hillary gets some decent lines in her first verse:
2206--> "You make more false accusations than whitewater. [[BlamingTheVictim It's not your wives fault]] your balls keep making daughters."
2207* This segment:
2208--> '''Hillary''': "You couldn't even handle the goods that I'm selling!\
2209 I'm more powerful than Oprah"\
2210'''Henry''': "And more handsome than Ellen"\
2211'''Hillary''': "Don't you interrupt me you Chauvinist '''prick!''' You put the needs of your Country behind the ''whims of your dick!'' "\
2212''[[DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything Hillary proceeds to snip the top off of a Cigar]], [[ShareTheMalePain causing Henry and Bill Clinton to wince heavily]]''
2213[[/folder]]
2214

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