Earth Terra firma, the third rock from the sun.
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Jupiter The largest gasbag not elected to political office.
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Mars Now streaming on the internet.
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Mercury Almost as fast as a speeding bullet.
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Moon That's no moon! ...oh, wait, yes it is.
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Neptune If you thought Antarctica was cold...
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Saturn If you like it then you better put a ring on it.
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Uranus Haha. You said anus.
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Venus Sadly not full of women.
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