History WebVideo / HellsingUltimateAbridged

7th Feb '16 5:59:07 PM lemora
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** And again Maxwell on Episode 6, being clearly disturbed by the Protestant Ku Klux Klan joining his Ninth Crusade.
4th Feb '16 11:49:29 PM NanoMoose
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* SoundtrackDissonance: Invoked by popular vote within Millenium's forces, who decide to invade London while listening to [[WarIsHell "War" by Edwin Starr.]]
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* SoundtrackDissonance: Invoked by popular vote within Millenium's Millennium's forces, who decide to invade London while listening to [[WarIsHell "War" by Edwin Starr.]]

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* SoundtrackDissonance: Invoked by popular vote within Millenium's forces, who decide to invade London while listening to [[WarIsHell "War" by Edwin Starr.]]** Similarly, just as Pip complains how boring it is that the Nazi vampires are slamming into the defences like idiots, he gets the news a giant woman has joined the assault and started wrecking the mansion.
4th Feb '16 6:32:57 AM NanoMoose
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** Pip flirtatiously calls Seras "''ma cher''", which she's not thrilled about, but likes better than "Police Girl."

* TheAristocrats: While Alucard is having a flashback to when he was [[spoiler: Count Vlad "Dracula" Tepes]], Van Helsing (the guy who stakes him) gives him a ReasonYouSuckSpeech, detailing all the depravities and murders Alucard pulled off, asking him, finally "What say you now?" to which Alucard replies: "The Aristocrats."
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* TheAristocrats: While Alucard is having a flashback to when he was [[spoiler: Count Vlad "Dracula" Tepes]], Van Helsing (the guy who stakes him) gives him a ReasonYouSuckSpeech, detailing all the depravities and murders Alucard pulled off, asking him, finally "What say you now?" to which Alucard replies: "The Aristocrats."

** In his time, Alucard has caused massive collateral damage ("Good times!"), multiple noise complaints ("Sorry, I can't hear you!"), a dozen innocent deaths ("So did Anthony Hopkins, and he got a fucking Oscar for it!"), and lots of sexual harassment.
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** In his time, Alucard has caused massive collateral damage ("Good times!"), multiple noise complaints ("Sorry, ('''"Sorry, I can't hear you!"), you!"'''), a dozen innocent deaths ("So did Anthony Hopkins, and he got a fucking Oscar for it!"), and lots of sexual harassment.

* AtrociousAlias: "Scarlet Tampon to Sticky Sock. [...] Also, I'm choosing the Goddamn nicknames next time!"
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* AtrociousAlias: "Scarlet Tampon to Sticky Sock. [...] Also, I'm ''I'm'' choosing the Goddamn nicknames next time!"

* AWizardDidIt: When it comes to explaining Alucard's ability to regenerate after being decapitated, he responds, "'Fuck you', that's how."
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* AWizardDidIt: When it comes to explaining Alucard's ability to regenerate after being decapitated, he responds, "'Fuck you', "''Fuck you'', that's how."

** Iscariot/Vatican Section XIII has an awesome one in episode 5. They call themselves the NecessaryEvil because they keep worse evil in line. When asked why they're the chosen few, they say because nobody else would do this.
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** Iscariot/Vatican Section XIII has an awesome one in episode 5. They call themselves the NecessaryEvil because they keep worse evil in line. When asked why they're the chosen few, they say because nobody else would do this.would.

-->'''Anderson''': "Now, what do you say we go back to my place for a bowl of my favorite cereal, Frankenber-- oh, ''son of a Protestant whore!''" ** Played with in that it's essentially the same joke (Anderson is quite a lot like Frankenstein's monster), but with a less painfully obvious punchline.
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-->'''Anderson''': "Now, Now, what do you say we go back to my place for a bowl of my favorite cereal, Frankenber-- oh, ''son of a Protestant whore!''" whore!'' ** Played with in that with; it's essentially the same joke (Anderson is quite a lot like Frankenstein's monster), but with a less painfully obvious punchline.

'''Mercenary 2''': Holy ''shit'' dude.\\ '''Mercenary 1''': Oh, who the fuck am I offending, ''[[AcceptableTargets The Nazis]]''!?
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'''Mercenary 2''': Holy ''shit'' dude.\\ ''shit'', dude!\\ '''Mercenary 1''': Oh, who the fuck am I offending, ''[[AcceptableTargets The the Nazis]]''!?

* ChivalrousPervert: Although he's an exceptional {{Jerkass}}, Alucard kind of suits this. Despite being a massive pervert who is implied to use the Hellsing Organization's money for prostitutes and gives assistance to women based purely on the size of their breasts, he is apparently "holding out" for Integra...although her rage at everything he does probably hurts his chances (but her rage ''does'' give him a boner...it's super awkward, and, as hinted in Episode 2, he even gets a boner while scolded on the phone.)
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* ChivalrousPervert: Although he's an exceptional {{Jerkass}}, Alucard kind of suits this. Despite being a massive pervert who is implied to use the Hellsing Organization's money for prostitutes and gives assistance to women based purely on the size of their breasts, he is apparently "holding out" for Integra...although her rage at everything he does probably hurts his chances (but her rage ''does'' give him a boner...it's super awkward, and, as hinted in Episode 2, he even gets a boner while scolded on the phone.)phone).

* EasilyForgiven: an InvokedTrope:
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* EasilyForgiven: an An InvokedTrope:

** In Episode 2, the only real reason Alucard kills Luke Valentine is because his [=TV=] was destroyed while in the middle of watching ''WesternAnimation/AdventureTime''.
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** In Episode 2, the only real main reason Alucard kills Luke Valentine is because his [=TV=] was destroyed while in the middle of watching ''WesternAnimation/AdventureTime''.

** When declaring her intent to disobey the Major's orders and attack Hellsing HG, Zorin says she and her men "will get what we have coming to us". The phrasing recalls several traitors in the original series who were assured they "[[RewardedAsATraitorDeserves deserve everything that's coming]] to [them]" just before they were executed. Consider [[ExtremeMeleeRevenge Zorin's fate]] in the original series...
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** When declaring her intent to disobey the Major's orders and attack Hellsing HG, HQ, Zorin says she and her men "will get what we have coming to us". The phrasing recalls several traitors in the original series who were assured they "[[RewardedAsATraitorDeserves deserve everything that's coming]] to [them]" just before they were executed.us". Consider [[ExtremeMeleeRevenge Zorin's fate]] in the original series...

** Also the scene, where Alucard kills Rip van Winkle SmashToBlack right when he impales her on her own rifle.
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** Also the scene, scene where Alucard kills Rip van Winkle - we get a SmashToBlack right when as he impales her on her own rifle.

-->'''walter:''' Well... [cut to Alucard exiting an elevator full of dead policemen] ...[[ShapedLikeItself the Alucard-amount]].
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-->'''walter:''' Well... [cut (cut to Alucard exiting an elevator full of dead policemen] ...policemen) ...[[ShapedLikeItself the Alucard-amount]].Alucard amount]].

--> '''Jan Valentine''': The following is a fan-based parody. ''Hellsing Ultimate'' is property of Kouta Hirano and Studio Madhouse -- the fuck is this?! You assholes brought me BackFromTheDead to read this legal bullshit?! No no no no no! [[PunctuatedForEmphasis Fuck! That!]] If I'm gonna come back to life to read a fucking line, then it's gonna be ''[[ClusterFBomb my]]'' [[ClusterFBomb kinda fuckin' line.]] ''(clears throat)'' My throbbing vampire ''dick'' is a fan-based parody. Its shaft, balls, and scrotum, are property of ''me'', Jan Valentine, and whatever bitch I happen to be giving it to at the time. Please support my dick by helping with its ''official release''. You know you want to.
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--> '''Jan Valentine''': The following is a fan-based parody. ''Hellsing Ultimate'' is property of Kouta Hirano and Studio Madhouse -- the fuck is this?! You assholes brought me BackFromTheDead to read this legal bullshit?! No no no no no! [[PunctuatedForEmphasis Fuck! That!]] If I'm gonna come back to life to read a fucking line, then it's gonna be ''[[ClusterFBomb my]]'' [[ClusterFBomb kinda fuckin' line.]] ''(clears throat)'' My throbbing vampire ''dick'' is a fan-based parody. Its shaft, balls, and scrotum, are property of ''me'', Jan Valentine, and whatever bitch I happen to be giving it to at the time. Please support my dick ''my dick'' by helping with its ''official release''. You know you want to.

* INeedAFreakingDrink: A non-alcoholic example; when the fight between Alucard and Anderson in the art gallery has narrowly been averted by Seras and some pensioners, Maxwell--temporarily united with Integra in a 'What the hell just happened?' moment -- asks if she wants to go get some coffee. To which she responds "I'd love some."
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* INeedAFreakingDrink: A non-alcoholic example; when the fight between Alucard and Anderson in the art gallery has narrowly been averted by Seras and some pensioners, Maxwell--temporarily Maxwell -- temporarily united with Integra in a 'What the hell just happened?' moment -- asks if she wants to go get some coffee. To which she responds "I'd love some."

* JerkWithAHeartOfJerk[=/=]{{Troll}}: Alucard's characterization can basically be summed up as this, but ''especially'' towards Integra. There is no indication that he follows her orders out of any sense of loyalty. Rather, it seems like she's just bribing him not to destroy everything and because he has nothing better to do and sometimes because it just amuses him.
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* JerkWithAHeartOfJerk[=/=]{{Troll}}: How Alucard's characterization can basically be summed up as this, up, but ''especially'' towards Integra. There is no indication that he follows her orders out of any sense of loyalty. Rather, it seems like she's just bribing him not to destroy everything everything, and because he has nothing better to do and sometimes obeys ''sometimes'' because it just amuses him.

-->'''Vampire priest:''' Are you mocking me!?
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-->'''Vampire priest:''' Priest:''' Are you mocking me!?

-->'''Alucard''': ''(in whining, childish tone)'' ''I waaaas!''
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-->'''Alucard''': ''(in whining, childish tone)'' ''(whining)'' ''I waaaas!''

** Luke, upon seeing how huge the stairs leading to the manor from Alucard's room are.[[note]]Not to mention his legs aren't connected to him any more...[[/note]]
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** Luke, upon seeing how huge the stairs leading to the manor from Alucard's room are.[[note]]Not to mention his legs aren't connected to him any more...[[note]]It would be less of a problem if he still had legs.[[/note]]

** Luke, upon seeing how huge the stairs leading to the manor from Alucard's room are.[[note]]Not to mention his legs aren't connected to him any more...[[/note]]Millennium meets landmines.

* PetTheDog: Alucard is a ''very'' unusual example towards Seras. After saving her just because she "has nice tits", he seems to develop ''some'' relationship with her, such as offering her to kill zombies (which actually impresses him when she does so), requesting a new gun for her (which is later changed to a cannon. Because bitches love cannons, which happens to be a {{BFG}}), and apparently shares his room with her while taking her and Pip with him on his vacation to Brazil. Also, he's quick to shoot Schrödinger's head off when he thinks the kid is bothering her.
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* PetTheDog: Alucard is a ''very'' unusual example towards Seras. After saving her just because she "has nice tits", he seems to develop ''some'' relationship with her, such as offering encouraging her to kill zombies with him for fun (which actually impresses him when she does so), requesting a new gun for her (which is later changed to a cannon. Because cannon, because bitches love cannons, which happens to be a {{BFG}}), and apparently shares his room with her while taking her and Pip with him on his vacation to Brazil. Also, he's quick to shoot Schrödinger's head off when he thinks the kid is bothering her.

-->'''Alucard''': The funny thing is, in any other circumstance, you might have a point there. Except my boss is a woman, I was a chick in the '40s, ''I hate everyone equally'', and there's ''NO ONE ALIVE'' who could comprehend my sexual preference. So in other words, Ms. Van Winkle, ''Chuh-chuh-chuh-CHECK YOUR PRIVILEGE!''
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-->'''Alucard''': The funny thing is, in any other circumstance, you might have a point there. Except my boss is a woman, I was a chick in the '40s, ''I hate everyone equally'', and there's ''NO ONE ALIVE'' who could comprehend my sexual preference. So in other words, Ms. Van Winkle, ''Chuh-chuh-chuh-CHECK ''chuh-chuh-chuh-CHECK YOUR PRIVILEGE!''

--> '''Seras:''' ''[firing her automatic rifle at Alhambra]'' GET SOOOOME!
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--> '''Seras:''' ''[firing ''(firing her automatic rifle at Alhambra]'' Alhambra)'' GET SOOOOME!

** Rip Van Winkle seems to exist to give Internet shoutouts; she's basically become Tumblr personified.
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** Rip Van Winkle seems to exist to give Internet shoutouts; she's basically become Tumblr personified.

* SidetrackedByTheAnalogy: One of Alucard's many death threats to the Pope mention he sends them so much to instill as much fear as possible "as if basting a turkey" which he will then have sex with. He then goes on to mention how he will "fuck the fear turkey".
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* SidetrackedByTheAnalogy: One of Alucard's many death threats to the Pope mention he sends them so much to instill instil as much fear as possible "as if basting a turkey" which he will then have sex with. He then goes on to mention how he will "fuck the fear turkey".

--> '''Alucard:''' ''(Sniff sniff)'' Huh? Suddenly it reeks of ''hypocrisy'' in here. ''(Anderson turns the corner)'' Oh, if it isn't the Catholic Church. And what's this? No Little Timmy glued to your crotch? ''Progress!''
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--> '''Alucard:''' ''(Sniff ''(sniff sniff)'' Huh? Suddenly it reeks of ''hypocrisy'' in here. ''(Anderson turns the corner)'' Oh, if it isn't the Catholic Church. And what's this? No Little Timmy glued to your crotch? ''Progress!''

** Several smaller other examples, such as a 'pharmacist' being called a 'chemist', and Composition 4 explosive, or C4 being an American name, while the British military uses PE4, or Plastic Explosive 4, which is essentially the same but not quite.
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** Several smaller other examples, such as a 'pharmacist' being called a 'chemist', and Composition 4 explosive, or C4 being an American name, while the British military uses PE4, [=PE4=], or Plastic Explosive 4, which is essentially the same but not quite.
4th Feb '16 3:31:49 AM NanoMoose
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** At one point, Alucard offhandedly asks Walter if he knows what Alucard's top three favorite things to kill are. 3rd is [[spoiler: [[UsefulNotes/VladTheImpaler The Turks]]]]...2nd is [[spoiler: Nazis.]] Alucard then asks Walter to guess the first.
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** At one point, Alucard offhandedly asks Walter if he knows what can guess Alucard's top three favorite things to kill are. 3rd kill. Third is [[spoiler: [[UsefulNotes/VladTheImpaler The Turks]]]]...2nd Turks]]]]. Second is [[spoiler: Nazis.]] Nazis]]. Alucard then asks Walter to guess the first.

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** At one point, Integra says that if her subordinate was ever in a position to rescue Maxwell the way Anderson just rescued her, Alucard offhandedly asks Walter if he knows what would put a bullet in Maxwell's leg and leave him to die. [[spoiler:Maxwell is indeed left to die in Episode 8 - by ''Anderson'', who pins him with a bayonet in the path of Alucard's top three favorite things undead army.]] ** When declaring her intent to kill are. 3rd is [[spoiler: [[UsefulNotes/VladTheImpaler disobey the Major's orders and attack Hellsing HG, Zorin says she and her men "will get what we have coming to us". The Turks]]]]...2nd is [[spoiler: Nazis.]] Alucard then asks Walter to guess phrasing recalls several traitors in the first.original series who were assured they "[[RewardedAsATraitorDeserves deserve everything that's coming]] to [them]" just before they were executed. Consider [[ExtremeMeleeRevenge Zorin's fate]] in the original series...
3rd Feb '16 11:47:13 PM Daethalion
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** When Father Maxwell receives the aid of an order of Paladins, one of them reports he has brought the Mexican Inquisition, triggering the following exchange:
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** When Father Maxwell receives the aid of an order of Paladins, several holy warrior orders, one of them reports he has brought the Mexican Inquisition, triggering the following exchange:
3rd Feb '16 11:45:49 PM Daethalion
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** When Father Maxwell receives the aid of an order of Paladins, one of them reports he has brought the Mexican Inquisition, triggering the following exchange: -->'''Maxwell:''' I did not expect you. -->'''Diego:''' [[MontyPythonsFlyingCircus No one ever does!]]
3rd Feb '16 12:06:45 AM TheDisgaean
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** In episode 6, Zorin says Jackle's "Peekaboo! I kill you!" line from Archie Comics' infamous NightsIntoDreams series.
1st Feb '16 6:32:33 AM TheTropper
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* OurVampiresAreDifferent: Discussed in episode 5: -->'''Penwood''': Can't he fly with his vampire powers?\\ '''Integra''': What? N-no he can't fly with his vampire powers!
31st Jan '16 11:49:57 PM BlazingJames
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** Fully averted in Episode 6 when Pip and his crew successfully defend the Hellsing headquarters from a Nazi attack, with some help from Seras. They manage to, in order: bring down the Nazi's zeppelin, kill over a dozen Nazis with landmines planted around the perimeter, and lay down a withering crossfire that keeps the rest of the Nazis back for some time. If Zorin hadn't [[MindRape used her illusion powers]], it's likely they would have been able to hold the Nazis off near indefinitely.
31st Jan '16 9:00:12 PM CerotechOmega
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** When Pip asks Seras in Episode 6 about her past, we get some flashback images before she tells him [[BlatantLies nothing significant happened]]. [[spoiler:Guess who's about to take a trip down memory lane.]]

-->'''Police Chief''': ...Well, that sounds reasonable.
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-->'''Police Chief''': ...Well, that certainly sounds reasonable.

** When Alucard suggests Nazis are behind the vampire attacks, Integra calls it retarded. ''The scene then introduces the Nazis.''
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** When Alucard suggests Nazis are behind the vampire attacks, Integra calls it retarded. ''The scene then introduces the Nazis.'''' Two episodes later, Integra checks Alucard's Twitter and... --->'''Integra''': It's the fucking-\\ '''Major''': '''''[[IncomingHam NA~ZIS!!]]'''''
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