History WarpThatAesop / VideoGames

16th Apr '17 10:21:44 AM TheFarmboy
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* ''Franchise/AceAttorney''

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* ''Franchise/AceAttorney''''WarpThatAesop/AceAttorney''



* ''VideoGame/TonyHawksUnderground'': In retrospect, you should've '''never''' saved your [[ChronicBackstabbingDisorder backstabbing]], [[SmugSnake two-faced]] [[WithFriendsLikeThese "best friend"]] fron getting killed from a bunch of drug dealers.

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* ''VideoGame/TonyHawksUnderground'': In retrospect, you should've '''never''' never saved your [[ChronicBackstabbingDisorder backstabbing]], [[SmugSnake two-faced]] [[WithFriendsLikeThese "best friend"]] fron from getting killed from a bunch of drug dealers.
6th Apr '17 5:59:16 PM Surenity
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* ''VideoGame/DrMario'': The cure to any disease is to swallow dozens of pills at a time.
** There is no such thing as an overdose until the pills no longer fit in the bottle.
2nd Apr '17 5:42:44 AM Wooboo
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* VideoGame/ResidentEvilCodeVeronica: Apparently, you're supposed to insult someone because of symptoms of their mental disorder, not the fact that they're a sadistic bastard who has repeatedly tried to kill you. (Claire insulting Alfred about being a cross-dresser, despite how he has multiple personalities and one personality is female, so he ''would'' dress as a woman because of the disorder.)

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* VideoGame/ResidentEvilCodeVeronica: ''VideoGame/ResidentEvil'': As detailed in the "Botany Book", the best way to discover what effect a medicinal plant will have on you is to mash them together at random and observe the results on your body. After all, the true joy of pharmaceuticals is the mystery and surprise!
* ''VideoGame/ResidentEvilCodeVeronica'':
Apparently, you're supposed to insult someone because of symptoms of their mental disorder, not the fact that they're a sadistic bastard who has repeatedly tried to kill you. (Claire insulting Alfred about being a cross-dresser, despite how he has multiple personalities and one personality is female, so he ''would'' dress as a woman because of the disorder.)


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* ''Franchise/ResidentEvil'': Before going into a situation where you may find yourself in a struggle for survival, remember to always bring the essentials: a rusty crank, a key ring and a lighter. Leave the knife at home, it's useless, and a nine-millimeter pistol is only good in a pinch. Also, be sure to get experience at a warehouse, dockyard, or anywhere else that you can hone your crate or box-pushing skills, as a good understanding of where crates or boxes go in any given situation is absolutely ''vital.''
2nd Apr '17 5:27:17 AM Wooboo
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** And if you ''do'' go to the opera, because you want to, and you are under the age of...let's say sixty, there's something deeply wrong with you. You're also probably going to be set up for one very ''long'' week.
31st Mar '17 2:26:40 PM ArgonianLorekeeper
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** ''VideoGame/PokemonRubyAndSapphire'':
*** The Delta Episode ([[VideoGameRemake Omega Ruby and Alpha Sapphire]]): Science is ''never'' the solution to world-threatening crises.[[spoiler: No, the only solution is to summon a ridiculously powerful dragon god and fly into space with it.]]
27th Mar '17 10:25:49 AM WildKatGirl
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27th Mar '17 10:25:33 AM WildKatGirl
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Games that have their own pages:
* ''Franchise/AceAttorney''



* ''Franchise/AceAttorney'':
** If you're a defense lawyer, you can totally steal random crap from the scene of a crime and use it not only to prove that your client is innocent, but that the witnesses, police, or even the prosecution are guilty. Usually, no one will complain about your blatant violations of evidence law.
** There are no honest prosecutors, only people who are driven by insanity or tragic pasts to knowingly and willingly convict innocent people.
** When you have uncovered the truth about who really committed the murder your client got blamed for, the first thing you should do is run straight to that person and accuse them of murder, to their face, out of court, without alerting the police first or getting a subpoena. [[TooDumbToLive There will be no serious negative repercussions for waving your finger in the face of a known killer in a place where there aren't any witnesses]].
** If an unknown suspect shoveled snow, that proves that the suspect is a man, because women are incapable of doing physical work like that. I mean, a shovel could have a mass of up to 3 kilograms (7 pounds); that's way too much for a woman to lift.
** Perfectionists are eeeeeeevil.
** Red-haired women are all evil. Orange doesn't count, it has to be straight-up red.
** ''Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney'': The best kind of court system is one in the hands of a senile old judge, with the assistance of a scruffy hobo who's a proven fraud!
** Not to mention, defense attorneys are easily manipulated by their rivals and mentors, and do nothing, while the prosecutors get fangirls and rock bands. Oh, and the criminals get better jail cells than your entire office. Even the total psychos.
** Forgery, even forgery that ruins multiple people's lives, is okay so long as you're too naive to know what you're doing is wrong. If you're a broke artist, feel free to manipulate your talented, agoraphobe daughter. Don't trust the nice guy who gives you a good luck charm to help you break free of your crippling fear of outside; he's evil and has a creepy scar. Feel free to leave your seven-year-old daughter with a defense attorney you don't know and who's probably going to be out of work soon, it's not like you could trust him with the one piece of information guaranteed to get you out of this mess. Obsessing over one case for seven years is just fine, your adopted daughter can be the breadwinner. And these are all from ONE case.
** Don't trust men with pretty hands or men with ugly hands, especially not if the same guy qualifies as both depending on whether he's pushing on his glasses.
** It's ok to scream, point, hit desks, and generally be uncivilized in the court of law, it's not like anyone's going to say anything about it.
** ''Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney: Justice For All'': If you're a prosecutor, it's okay to repeatedly [[WhipItGood whip]] the defense, witnesses, and even Your Honor. Come on! See that defense attorney who just defeated you? Whip him until you knock him out--only the defense can ever be held in contempt of court!
** An even better thing to do is to throw coffee mugs full of coffee at the defense, because that is reasonable.
** ''HOLD IT!'' (desk slam): Only the Defense can be disbarred for presenting false evidence! If you're the Prosecutor all that matters is getting a conviction, so the ends justify the means. So go ahead and fabricate, hide or outright destroy evidence if it'll help your case.
*** [[TruthInTelevision Sadly there have been a lot of cases of prosecutors who actually believe this]]
** Aside from cause and time of death, forensic evidence should be ignored entirely. All fingerprints are either planted or wiped. All final clues from the victims are forgeries. All items belonging to the defendant were easily stolen and used. The truth can only be reached from the initial assumption that the defendant is innocent.
** ''Never'' give anyone else a motive to kill you. They'll probably try. And in the best case scenario, justifiable self-defense is still a crime and your life will be ruined anyway. Then again, you can always make a friend in local law enforcement to ensure that he'll [[BigDamnHeroes show up in the nick of time]] to stop you from ever needing to follow through with either outcome.
** The best deposition comes from ghosts.
** If a gang member mortally wounds the son of a rival crime family, it will lead to said rival family deciding to leave crime (thus eliminating the competition) rather than seeking revenge and escalating the gang warfare. Killing rival gang leaders' family members won't put you in the rival gang's crosshairs or in prison, it will lead to peace and prosperity for your gang!
** If someone is a mob boss's son, it's safe to prosecute him, but if someone is a mob boss's granddaughter, it's not worth it to even ''consider'' prosecuting her when she's clearly an accomplice to murder.
** Perjury is, in fact, '''NOT''' a criminal offence and it's totally fine to take the witness stand again if you've been known to give fraudulent testimonies.
** If a teenager or young adult is kidnapped, you should immediately start to suspect that either the victim is a murderer, or the people trying to save them are protecting a murderer.
** The police are so incompetent at crime scene investigation that biased untrained lawyers and their child companions can do a better job. This is true even if they grab important evidence without worrying about whether they get their prints on it or that the culprits might steal this evidence from the unarmed "investigators."
** If the defendant is innocent, it will pretty much always be possible to get the real culprit onto the stand and have them give a confession or near-confession once enough evidence against them is gathered.
** If people a man loved were murdered, he'll become a brooding and mysterious AntiHero or AntiVillain, but if a girl has someone she loves murdered, she'll be a [[GenkiGirl super-energetic]], [[TheDitz bubbly]] companion who will receive massive compliments on how brave she is while she briefly cries, but then become a cheerful inspiration.
** If someone asks you to defend someone else they know, pay close attention to the suspect. If he or she is loudly declaring his or her guilt, then their innocence is assured and you can safely accept the case. If they say they didn't do it, though, they're guilty as hell.
** As a corollary, any public admission of guilt that isn't made on the witness stand is proof of innocence.
** Burglarizing the office of the chief of police and publicly admitting to it will not carry any legal consequences as long as you win with whatever you found there.
** Rape never happens, and theft is rare. [[AlwaysMurder Just murder]].
** [[Administrivia/EverythingsWorseWithSnowclones Everything's ''better'' with Snowclones]] when it comes to naming court cases.
** There is no such thing as an average attorney. Winning the seemingly unwinnable case makes you an Ace Attorney. Losing it makes you undeserving of a badge.
** ''VisualNovel/PhoenixWrightAceAttorneyDualDestinies'': If you or someone you know is about to be wrongfully convicted, go insane! The psychoanalysis that you will need to undergo will surely be enough to keep the defense's case alive.
** It's ok to take people hostage and threaten to kill them if you don't get a retrial for a wrongfully convicted person, as long as you're doing it out of love and you turn yourself in afterwards. The legal system is useless and can't be trusted, after all.
** If your goal in life is to save someone, to the point where you enter (or re-enter) your profession and become certified in it because of that goal... just wait around for something to happen. Something big will happen that inevitably allow you to save that person and make everything ok. Don't worry about the fact that the person you're trying to save is on death row and their execution date is approaching fast; you don't need to actually go through any back-breaking work to get a re-trial or overturn their conviction, because everything will just work itself out by miracle.
** Always remember: Whenever you're accusing someone of murder, you must contemplate ''each and every little detail as to how the murder could have been committed and think of motives and alibis'', even if it's not your occupation to do so. If you don't, your defendant will be found guilty under completely nonsensical circumstances!
** It's okay for the prosecution to ask for motives of the person you're accusing, but when you ask for motives regarding the defendant, everyone will attack you.
** Don't you ''dare'' think for a second that defeating the supposedly unbeatable prosecutor who had won every case for '''40 years''' until now will make you deserving of any respect, ''you stuck-up loser''. People will still treat you like a butt, like they always have.
** Lawyer = ButtMonkey.
16th Mar '17 3:19:50 AM TheFarmboy
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* ''VideoGame/PaperMarioTheThousandYearDoor'': Saving the Princess is a bad idea, the moment you finally get to her [[DemonicPossession she gets possessed and you have to fight her to save the world.]] Better luck next time Mario.

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* ''VideoGame/PaperMarioTheThousandYearDoor'': Saving ''VideoGame/PaperMarioTheThousandYearDoor'':
**Saving
the Princess is a bad idea, the moment you finally get to her [[DemonicPossession she gets possessed and you have to fight her to save the world.]] Better luck next time Mario.Mario.
** A young child that has been born recently [[TroublingUnchildlikeBehavior loves to get into fights?]] How adorable!


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* ''VideoGame/SuperPaperMario'': Your parents forbid you from seeing someone you love? Then screw everyone in the multiverse, [[ApocalypseHow destroy them all!]]
14th Mar '17 10:37:28 AM Silverblade2
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* ''VideoGame/CrashBandicoot1996'': If you save MsFanservice from a life of slavery under a madman, she'll abandon you the second the game ends. Worse, she'll hook up with a [[CompleteMonster Complete]] [[JustForPun Mobster.]]

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* ''VideoGame/CrashBandicoot1996'': If you save MsFanservice from a life of slavery under a madman, she'll abandon you the second the game ends. Worse, she'll hook up with a [[CompleteMonster Complete]] Complete [[JustForPun Mobster.]]
12th Mar '17 11:24:06 AM thecnoNSMB
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* ''VideoGame/TheBindingOfIsaac'': If you cry enough, your mom will stop bothering you.
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