History TooIncompetentToOperateABlanket / Advertising

12th Feb '18 3:39:10 PM Kadorhal
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* Ove-Glove ads:
** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GR1YD1uq3Eo These ads]] begin with a woman who drops something supposedly because she's using one of those old-fashioned oven mitts, but anyone who's ever used an oven can see that she "dropped" the thing because she only used one hand. The commercial is trying to imply that she could have held the item securely with one hand if she'd only been wearing the Ove-Glove, but two normal mitts cost less than a single Ove-Glove. Meanwhile, the fakery extends in the other direction as a woman effortlessly moves hot cookies using her new Ove-Glove, and then one of her children picks up one of the "hot" cookies bare-handed and takes a bite. The Ove-Glove protects so well against hot surfaces that its very touch will ''instantly absorb'' the heat from your cookies.

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* Ove-Glove ads:
**
[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GR1YD1uq3Eo These ads]] for the Ove-Glove begin with a woman who drops something something, supposedly because she's using one of those old-fashioned oven mitts, but anyone who's ever used an oven can see that she "dropped" the thing because she only used one hand. The commercial is trying to imply that she could have held the item securely with one a single hand if she'd only been wearing the Ove-Glove, but two normal mitts cost less than a single Ove-Glove. Meanwhile, the fakery extends in the other direction as a woman effortlessly moves hot cookies using her new Ove-Glove, and then one of her children picks up one of the "hot" cookies bare-handed and takes a bite. The Ove-Glove protects so well against hot surfaces that its very touch will ''instantly absorb'' the heat from your cookies.cookies and allow them to be immediately consumed without burning off the person's taste buds.
12th Feb '18 2:03:34 AM Kadorhal
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* "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X1oHp-VvhDE Juicero: Making Juice is Easy]]" tries to convince you that the old way of juicing at home is hopelessly difficult. Our protagonists start off spending ''$50'' on vegetables and carrying it in their hands because they forgot their tote bags and couldn't find any to buy. Then the guy tries in vain to peel a carrot with a broken peeler. Then he digs up his juicer from the forgotten depths of his cupboard, which is followed by a search through the entire kitchen for the missing part - and when he does find it, he lifts it up in celebration and has something fall out of it. He's barely able to assemble the machine and keep it from falling apart for long enough to make a glass of juice for both of them - and somehow it ends up tasting horrible even though they used high-quality ingredients and were able to create the blend they wanted. In the end, it's revealed that the whole ordeal of washing the veggies and cutting them up somehow made a huge mess in the kitchen, and the ad concludes that making juice is actually "a huge pain" as the guy accidentally cuts himself while doing the dishes. These people ''may'' have made one prior attempt with their old juicer before shoving it into the cupboard and forgetting about it. Juicero still expects them to be so passionate about fine juice that they willingly drop $400 on a juicer and $5 to $7 ''per juice packet'' - aka glass of juice - on top of that.

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* "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X1oHp-VvhDE Juicero: Making Juice is Easy]]" tries to convince you that the old way of juicing at home is hopelessly difficult. Our protagonists start off spending ''$50'' on vegetables and carrying it them all in their hands because they forgot their tote bags and couldn't find any to buy. Then the guy tries in vain to peel a carrot with a broken peeler.peeler he claims is broken. Then he digs up his juicer from the forgotten depths of his cupboard, which is followed by a search through the entire kitchen for the missing part - and when he does find it, he lifts it up in celebration and has something fall out of it. He's barely able to assemble the machine and keep it from falling apart for long enough to make a glass of juice for both of them - and somehow it ends up tasting horrible even though they used high-quality ingredients and were able to create the blend they wanted. In the end, it's revealed that the whole ordeal of washing the veggies and cutting them up somehow made a huge mess in the kitchen, and the ad concludes that making juice is actually "a huge pain" as the guy accidentally cuts himself while doing attempting to clean the dishes.dishes that materialized out of the ether. These people ''may'' have made one prior attempt with their old juicer before shoving it into the cupboard and forgetting about it. Juicero still expects them to be so passionate about fine juice that they willingly drop $400 on a juicer and $5 to $7 ''per juice packet'' - aka glass of juice - on top of that.
4th Feb '18 11:45:14 AM CheeseDogX
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* In an inversion of DatingServiceDisaster, online dating services like [=eHarmony=] and Match.com portray people who don't use the advertised service as Too Incompetent to Find Love on Their Own and show them dating one loser after another.

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* In an inversion of DatingServiceDisaster, online dating services like [=eHarmony=] and Match.com portray people who don't use the advertised service as Too Incompetent to Find Love on Their Own and show them dating one loser after another. eHarmony goes the extra mile by implying that without using their patented compatibility test, even if you find someone, it'll be a pale imitation of love. Apparently before their site existed, no human being had ever experienced TrueLove.
4th Feb '18 9:54:59 AM CheeseDogX
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* The ads for the [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AZsiOTVLKGI "Slob Stopper."]] It's apparently a bib for adults. The commercial opens with a smiling man in a parked car pouring coffee all over himself, while the voiceover says, "Has this ever happened to you?" The ad goes on the show him wearing the product, then doing it again, sitting in the same parked car, apparently ogling a passing runner. And he never stops smiling. Okay, if you have enough of a problem with drinking in a stopped car, you probably need more than a bib.

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* The ads for the [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AZsiOTVLKGI "Slob Stopper."]] It's apparently a bib for adults. The commercial opens with a smiling man in a parked car pouring coffee all over himself, while the voiceover says, "Has this ever happened to you?" The ad goes on the show him wearing the product, then doing it again, sitting in the same parked car, apparently ogling a passing runner. And he never stops smiling. Okay, if you have enough of a problem with drinking in a stopped car, you probably need more than a bib. And he apparently never heard of tucking a napkin into your shirt collar.
4th Feb '18 8:39:52 AM CheeseDogX
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**Some of these ads only show people trying to peel potatoes with knives and depict the product being advertised as the only alternative. Apparently the advertisers think that the viewers will forget that potato peelers exist if they just don't show them for 30 seconds.

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**Some of these ads only show people trying to peel potatoes with knives and depict the product being advertised as the only alternative. Apparently the advertisers think that the viewers will [[ViewersAreGoldfish forget that potato peelers exist exist]] if they just don't show them for 30 seconds.
24th Jan '18 5:48:39 PM nombretomado
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* There's a product out there called the [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=us-M0CtMyW4 Broccoli Wad]] ([[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rh0UvrR8UM4 complete with a]] StupidStatementDanceMix!). [[IThoughtItMeant Despite its name]], it's really a band that you put on your dollars. Why someone would want to use it instead of a wallet or a purse is never quite explained - the only reason given is that it's "easier than a wallet" and that "wise guys don't carry their money in a wallet". If you can't handle something as simple as a wallet, you probably shouldn't be handling money.

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* There's a product out there called the [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=us-M0CtMyW4 Broccoli Wad]] ([[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rh0UvrR8UM4 complete with a]] StupidStatementDanceMix!). [[IThoughtItMeant [[JustForFun/IThoughtItMeant Despite its name]], it's really a band that you put on your dollars. Why someone would want to use it instead of a wallet or a purse is never quite explained - the only reason given is that it's "easier than a wallet" and that "wise guys don't carry their money in a wallet". If you can't handle something as simple as a wallet, you probably shouldn't be handling money.
27th Dec '17 5:23:31 PM Tightwire
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** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GR1YD1uq3Eo These ads]] begin with a woman who drops something supposedly because she's using one of those old-fashioned oven mitts, but anyone who's ever used an oven can see that she "dropped" the thing because she only used one hand. The commercial is trying to imply that she could have held the item securely with one hand if she'd only been wearing the Ove-Glove, but two normal mitts cost less than a single Ove-Glove. Meanwhile, the fakery extends in the other direction as a woman effortlessly moves hot cookies using her new Ove-Glove, and then one of her children picks up one of the "hot" cookies bare-handed and takes a bite (say goodbye to your taste buds, kid). The Ove-Glove is apparently so amazing it protects people that aren't even wearing it.
** Another Ove-Glove ad has someone attempting to remove a bowl of very hot soup from a microwave while barehanded, and by "remove", we mean, "Give the bowl three little tugs until it topples over the microwave's edge."

to:

** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GR1YD1uq3Eo These ads]] begin with a woman who drops something supposedly because she's using one of those old-fashioned oven mitts, but anyone who's ever used an oven can see that she "dropped" the thing because she only used one hand. The commercial is trying to imply that she could have held the item securely with one hand if she'd only been wearing the Ove-Glove, but two normal mitts cost less than a single Ove-Glove. Meanwhile, the fakery extends in the other direction as a woman effortlessly moves hot cookies using her new Ove-Glove, and then one of her children picks up one of the "hot" cookies bare-handed and takes a bite (say goodbye to your taste buds, kid). bite. The Ove-Glove is apparently so amazing it protects people so well against hot surfaces that aren't even wearing it.
** Another Ove-Glove ad has someone attempting to remove a bowl of
its very hot soup touch will ''instantly absorb'' the heat from a microwave while barehanded, and by "remove", we mean, "Give the bowl three little tugs until it topples over the microwave's edge."your cookies.
15th Dec '17 3:24:58 PM Kadorhal
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* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=dVLOubKh3y0 One Powerjet commercial]] features a man who flies into a psychotic rage (stalking around like a cornered animal, clawing at his pockets for quarters, and lashing out at nearby equipment) at the fact that his self-serve car wash was cut short by the timer, rather than just putting in more quarters. Sure, he could be out of quarters, but since most self-service car washes have change machines for this exact purpose, it makes it appear that the guy [[BerserkButton is simply too anger-driven to be driving]]. This was mentioned in that Cracked article, too, where the commercial seems to [[BigLippedAlligatorMoment forget about that part immediately]] while demonstrating how it works. To quote:

to:

* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=dVLOubKh3y0 One Powerjet commercial]] features a man who flies into a psychotic rage (stalking around like a cornered animal, clawing at his pockets for quarters, and lashing out at nearby equipment) at the fact that his self-serve car wash was cut short by the timer, rather than just putting in more quarters. Sure, he could be out of quarters, but since most self-service car washes have change machines for this exact purpose, it makes it appear that the guy [[BerserkButton [[HairTriggerTemper is simply far too anger-driven prone to violence to be driving]]. This was mentioned in that Cracked article, too, where the commercial seems to [[BigLippedAlligatorMoment forget about that part immediately]] while demonstrating how it works. To quote:
14th Dec '17 1:23:02 PM Kadorhal
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* ''Website/{{Cracked}}'' offers a few more examples in their article [[http://www.cracked.com/article_15768_as-seen-on-tv-10-most-laughably-misleading-ads.html "As Seen on TV: The 10 Most Laughably Misleading Ads."]] Who'd have thought that ''capping a normal pen'' could be so hard? The commercial cheats by using a cap that is so chewed up that it's unusable. The commercial in question is for the [=MagneScribe=] pen. It shows a girl flailing around under a piece of furniture for her fallen pen, displaying the eyesight of a mole and the arm span of a ''T. rex''. Of course, the [=MagneScribe=] pen can't fall out of your hand; if you drop it the pen will come flying back through the air and re-attach itself to the magical pendant. Now it sells for $30, which the article notes is enough money that you could easily buy ''three hundred'' regular pens with.

to:

* ''Website/{{Cracked}}'' offers a few more examples in their article [[http://www.cracked.com/article_15768_as-seen-on-tv-10-most-laughably-misleading-ads.html "As Seen on TV: The 10 Most Laughably Misleading Ads."]] Who'd have thought that ''capping a normal pen'' could be so hard? The commercial cheats by using a cap that is so chewed up that it's unusable. The commercial in question is for the [=MagneScribe=] pen. It shows a girl flailing around under a piece of furniture for her fallen pen, displaying the eyesight of a mole and the arm span of a ''T. rex''. [[SarcasmMode Of course, the [=MagneScribe=] pen can't fall out of your hand; if you drop it the pen will come flying a MagnaScribe pen, it'll just fly back through the air up and re-attach itself to the magical pendant.pendant]]. Now it sells for $30, which the article notes is enough money that you could easily buy ''three hundred'' regular pens with.



* Also a Cracked example, the Easy Toothbrush, "an ordinary toothbrush with bristles organized so as to form a rounded surface, making it similar to several dozen toothbrushes you can buy at the grocery store." It features a woman who has apparently never used a toothbrush before in her life, as even incidental bristle contact causes her to recoil in pain as if she had been brushing with a steak knife.

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* Also a Cracked example, the Easy Toothbrush, "an ordinary toothbrush with bristles organized so as to form a rounded surface, making it similar to several dozen toothbrushes you can buy at the grocery store." It features a woman who has apparently never used a toothbrush before in her life, as even incidental bristle contact causes her to recoil in pain as if she had been brushing with a steak knife. The article apparently found this one particularly reprehensible: for everything else it lists, there's a section giving a quick description of what they're trying to sell, a "hyperbole" section discussing the contents (and the obviously-faked incompetence) of the commercial, and then a "reality" section discussing in greater detail the lies and fakery behind the concept - but not for this product, where the reality is simply that "it's a [[PrecisionFStrike fucking]] toothbrush".
13th Dec '17 5:39:53 PM Kadorhal
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** This product might be hilarious, but the way it's being marketed on the Jump Snap website borders on laughable. The site suggests that people should buy Jump Snaps in bulk and set up "fitness centers" where they can lead others in using the Jump Snap... in a time where many countries are suffering through economic recession.
** Improving your coordination is ''part of the point'' of jumping rope.
*** Not to mention, [[YouFailLogicForever you can jump in place while flapping your arms for free.]] It's called 'Jumping Jacks'.
*** And if ''jumping jacks'' are too complex for you, you can remove the jump part and just bend your knees up and down while doing 'Squats'. [[TooDumbToLive And if that's still too hard for you...]] well, we probably can't help you any more.

to:

** This product might be hilarious, but the way it's being marketed on the Jump Snap website borders is also laughable and bordering on laughable.just cruel. The site suggests that people should buy Jump Snaps in bulk and set up "fitness centers" where they can lead others in using the Jump Snap... repeat, they're suggesting spending over a thousand bucks on a product you don't even ''need'' to do what it does, in a time where many countries are suffering through economic recession.
** Improving your coordination is ''part of the point'' of jumping rope.
*** Not to mention, [[YouFailLogicForever you can jump in place while flapping your arms for free.]] It's called 'Jumping Jacks'.
***
Jacks'. And if ''jumping jacks'' are too complex for you, you can remove the jump part and just bend your knees up and down while doing 'Squats'. [[TooDumbToLive And if that's still too hard for you...]] well, we probably can't help you any more.



* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5OV4KunKyOk The commercial for the My Li'l Reminder]] starts off with a clip of someone's senile grandma lost in a parking lot, trying to find her car. Not only does she seem to lack her memory, but also basic problem-solving skills to figure out where her car might be. But have no fear. Thanks to the Li'l Reminder, she is now able to remember where her car is and start driving again. [[OhCrap Considering that she doesn't forget she's driving]].
** That is, of course, if the product even ''works''. Several consumer comments have complained that the play-back is so garbled and faint that they nearly have to shove it in their ear to be able to hear anything.

to:

* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5OV4KunKyOk The commercial for the My Li'l Reminder]] starts off with a clip of someone's senile grandma lost in a parking lot, trying to find her car. Not only does she seem to lack her memory, but also basic problem-solving skills to figure out where her car might be. But have no fear. Thanks fear, thanks to the My Li'l Reminder, she is now able to remember where her car is and start driving again. again... [[OhCrap Considering that so long as she doesn't go on to forget that she's driving]].
** That is, of course, if the product even ''works''. Several consumer comments have complained that the play-back is so garbled and faint that they nearly have to shove it in their ear to be able to hear anything. This [[NeverNeedsSharpening may be why]] the thing is also advertised as "unobtrusive" and something that "won't bother the people sitting around you".



* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=dVLOubKh3y0 One Powerjet commercial]] features a man who flies into a psychotic rage (stalking around like a cornered animal, clawing at his pockets for quarters, and lashing out at nearby equipment) at the fact that his self-serve car wash was cut short by the timer, rather than just putting in more quarters. Sure, he could be out of quarters, but since most self-service car washes have change machines for this exact purpose, it makes it appear that the guy shouldn't be driving. This was mentioned in that Cracked article, too, where the commercial seems to [[BigLippedAlligatorMoment forget about that part immediately]] while demonstrating how it works. To quote:

to:

* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=dVLOubKh3y0 One Powerjet commercial]] features a man who flies into a psychotic rage (stalking around like a cornered animal, clawing at his pockets for quarters, and lashing out at nearby equipment) at the fact that his self-serve car wash was cut short by the timer, rather than just putting in more quarters. Sure, he could be out of quarters, but since most self-service car washes have change machines for this exact purpose, it makes it appear that the guy shouldn't [[BerserkButton is simply too anger-driven to be driving.driving]]. This was mentioned in that Cracked article, too, where the commercial seems to [[BigLippedAlligatorMoment forget about that part immediately]] while demonstrating how it works. To quote:



* Used in the 'no to AV' UK campaign of 2011, showing students being [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-obZ9OG_XKAutterly confused]] by the concept (2:00 onwards), despite it being only marginally more complicated than the current system. Particularly apt that it's being taught to under-18s, who would be unable to vote. In addition, many of the arguments put forward in that segment could be made against ''any'' voting system, mixing this in with shades of HobbesWasRight as well.

to:

* Used in the 'no to AV' UK campaign of 2011, showing students being [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-obZ9OG_XKAutterly com/watch?v=-obZ9OG_XKA utterly confused]] by the concept (2:00 onwards), despite it being only marginally more complicated than the current system. Particularly apt that it's being taught to under-18s, who would be unable to vote. In addition, many of the arguments put forward in that segment could be made against ''any'' voting system, mixing this in with shades of HobbesWasRight as well.



* If you can't get a grip on your pickle jar, open a bottle of champagne, or pull a weedwhacker cord, you need a [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fd1hqcbEuMM Handjob]] ([[UnfortunateNames In no way affiliated with something too risqué to be mentioned here]]). And apart from the fact that it shows grown men being incapable of removing the radiator cap from their car... it's real. It's an ''actual commercial for a real thing''.

to:

* If you can't get a grip on your pickle jar, open a bottle of champagne, or pull a weedwhacker cord, you need a [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fd1hqcbEuMM Handjob]] ([[UnfortunateNames In in no way affiliated with something too risqué to be mentioned here]]).here]], though the innuendo is clearly intentional). And apart from the fact that it shows grown men being incapable of removing the radiator cap from their car... it's real. It's an ''actual commercial for a real thing''.
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